Strollerderby : surgery

For Goodness Sake, Leave Their Tonsils Alone

JeanneSager — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 16:29:00 GMT

Want another reason not to put your kids under the knife for a tonsillectomy?

Word has it, putting your kids in the hospital so a doctor can cut out those little chunks of lymphatic tissue at the back of the mouth could make them fat. And we're not talking about all that ice cream served up during recovery.

A Dutch study of almost four thousand kids determined that eight year olds who underwent a tonsillectomy when they were younger were at a heightened risk of obesity - regardless of whether doctors had also removed their adenoids. The doctors factored in kids who were already overweight when they were tots (pre-surgery) as a control, and they say they were able to determine the tonsillectomy prompted the obesity.

They're not calling for tonsil surgeries to stop - the numbers performed in the states have steadily decreased since the 1970s anyway. Instead, the researchers call for better nutrition management and education for kids who have had the surgery.

Considering I still have my tonsils, I guess that's one less chance I have to blame my big butt on someone else. Sigh. . . although, I could always blame it on the baby I had three years ago, right? Right?

Image: Kids Health

Tourney Time = Vasectomy Time

Jen Chaney — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 12:02:00 GMT

So far, Dick Vitale has not been featured in a pro-vasectomy public service announcement. But maybe it's just a matter of time.

Apparently the NCAA Tournament -- otherwise known as March Madness, the Big Dance or the best time-sucking sports event of the entire year -- has become the perfect time for men to get vasectomies. As the Chicago Tribune and other media outlets recently reported, more guys have been scheduling their snip-snip surgeries to coincide with the first round of college basketball action, mainly for practical reasons. If you have to sit around with a bag of frozen peas on your goodies, you may as well do it on days when television offers 12-plus hours of buzzer beaters and bracket busters.

This year, clinics and medical facilities in places like Minneapolis, Austin, Tex., and Eugene, Ore., attempted to capitalize on the trend by offering March Madness promotions. A clinic in Austin ran radio ads touting "Vas Madness!" And in Oregon and Minneapolis, some places offered free pizzas, sports magazines and, of course, complimentary bags of frozen peas to guys who elected to have the procedure. The Oregon Urology Institute even encouraged men to (ahem) "lower their seed for the tournament." Man, is there anything funnier than the intersection where college basketball comedy and medical humor meet?

Obviously it's too late to take advantage of this now, since the jumpshot-glutted first round of this year's tournament has ended. But tell me something, guys: if you're planning to have a vasectomy at some point, would you consider scheduling it around March Madness? Or do you think all this seed-lowering hype is a. amusing, b. offensive, or c. a distraction from what really matters at this time of year: the potential to win money from your co-workers?

Image: CBS via Newsday

Ringtone Increases Breast Size

Madeline Holler — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 18:01:00 GMT

A researcher in Japan thinks he may have found a way to give women bigger boobs without invasive surgery or weight gain. They just have to download a very specifically engineered ringtone to their cellphones and let 20 to 40 calls per day work their magic.

What sort of sound could possibly perk up and pop out your sagging girls?

A baby's cry, naturally.

Hideto Tomabechi, researcher of artificial intelligence and the mind,wants to show that sounds affect more than just the mind -- they also affect our bodies. So he took a recording of a crying baby and stripped it down to its essential sounds. He hypothesizes (generalization alert!) that women will respond physiologically to the recorded sound of a crying baby in the same way they respond to the real sound. By responding so frequently, their breasts will grow.

Does he mean women all over Tokyo are going to be letting down every time the phone rings? Or do women respond in some way to babies' cries that I'm not aware of. I'm willing to concede that I (and my lactating boobs) respond physiologically to the sound of a crying baby ... NOW ... ever since having my first. But before ever having kids, I'm not entirely convinced I could even tell the difference between a crying baby and, say, an angry cat. Besides, if all it takes is a baby's cry, I should look like Pamela Anderson by now.

Of course, this Tomabechi guy is the same man authorities called on to deprogram the Aum Shinrikyo cult members (of sarin gas on the subway fame), and he's held up as some kind of mad genius. So maybe the nation's dissatisfied flat-chested should download the baby wails and answer the call to a more confident and happier you.

Photo: NoiseAddicts.com

Grey's Anatomy Tackles Mother Vs. Baby Issue

JeanneSager — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:29:00 GMT

You might have been tuning in to the final airing of the Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice special for an update on Little Grey and McSteamy, but I had to know what happened to the pregnant chick - would they lose her, or the baby?

In case you're not a fan (or just haven't settled in with your Tivo to play catch up), neurosurgeon Dr. Derek Shepherd has spent three episodes operating over and over on a pregnant woman's brain while his ex-wife has stood by to keep tabs on her child in utero.

Last night, it all came to a boiling point (as did other issues on the show - but I'll leave those revelations to your Tivo), and patient Jen's husband is clear - if it comes down to my baby or my wife, pick my wife. Bring back my wife.

It reminded me of my husband - who made it clear during my pregnancy that if anything were to go wrong during delivery (not that there was any risk of that), he said he didn't care what happened. As long as I walked out of there with him. Fortunately, it never came to that. Our daughter, the light of his life, was delivered after an average thirteen hours of labor and natural childbirth with no complications. She was perfect. I was serviceably healthy (really, does any woman look perfect after childbirth? Wan, yes, perfect. . . I think not).

Pregnancy isn't nearly as risky as it was back in ye olden days, but there are always risks - especially when you throw in a C-section, which is, after all, major surgery. Did you and your partner ever have this discussion during pregnancy? Dads, did you worry about her safety going into the delivery room?

Image: ABC

Mom on Experimental Kidney Donation: Not as Bad as Childbirth

JeanneSager — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 13:33:00 GMT

Doctors attempts to make kidney donation less painful for a mother of three apparently worked.

Having her kidney removed via her vagina, Kim Johnson says, was less painful than childbirth.

The forty-eight-year-old was the first woman to ever have her organ removed in this manner, a procedure performed by doctors at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland this week.

Johnson went in for the procedure so she could donate her kidney to her niece, twenty-three-year-old Jennifer Gilbert who received a kidney twelve years ago from her father. Gilbert's body began rejecting her father's kidney, prompting a need for another transplant.

Besides the necessary tissue match between the relatives, Johnson was a prime candidate for the experimental procedure because she'd undergone a hysterectomy since the birth of her three children. But doctors say they should be able to do the procedure on women without compromising their chances to give birth later, and the success of Johnson's surgery should encourage more women to become kidney donors.

Organ donation by live donors is dropping (despite all the attempts by donor organizations), but patients in the United States waiting for a kidney passed the one hundred thousand mark for the first time ever last fall. On the other hand, the overall number of transplants has increased more than eleven percent since 2003, while deaths on the transplant wait list have decreased each year since 2004. And now states are weighing in on the process, many kicking in tax credits for live donors.

Another big plus for busy moms? Recovery time for this surgery was significantly less than the traditional laproscopic removal of a kidney. Johnson should be out and about at her normal routine within the next week and a half.

Not that I'm planning a big kidney birthing anytime soon, but, hey, you never know.

Image/Source: MSNBC

Is It Neglect To Deny Surgery For Religious Reasons?

Kate Tuttle — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:35:00 GMT

Amish parents Gideon and Barbara Hershberger's son, Eli, now one and a half, was born with a heart defect that is fixable through surgery, but the couple's refusal to allow the invasive procedure may see them losing their son to the state. Claiming that the procedure violates their religious principles, the Amish family is fighting to retain the right to decide what treatment Eli gets, but the state of New York's Department of Social Services, charging neglect, is demanding that the boy be taken from them so that he can be operated on. A judge is expected to make the ruling on December 23.

Cases like this -- which would also include Christian Scientist parents and those who believe, as the Jehovah's Witnesses do, that blood transfusions are forbidden -- pit such strongly-held beliefs against one another that they are almost impossible to parse. On the one hand, the role of parents in making medical decisions for their children is a fundamental right most of us would fight for (particularly in our own families). But on the other, if a child can be saved by a procedure that is performed thousands of times a year, who on earth would let that child just die for his or her parents' religious beliefs?

More by this author:

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Baby Nearly Starves to Death, Diluted Formula to Blame
Grandmother’s Right? Or Totally Obnoxious?
Health Scam: Crisis Pregnancy Centers
Mama’s Got a Brand New Bag

Conjoined Twin Surgery: One Lives, One Dies

Brett Singer — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:30:00 GMT

An operation to separate the one-week-old conjoined twins, named Hope and Faith, resulted in the Hope's death. Faith is still alive, with a "50-50 chance of survival," according to published reports.

The twins were born last week to Laura Williams. At 18, she is said to be the youngest woman ever to give birth to conjoined twins in Britain.

Listen to this: "The sisters were joined from the breastbone to the top of the navel. They shared their blood circulation but had their own organs, though they were joined at the liver and intestines." Can you imagine? I can, but not easily.

The doctors who performed the separation procedure wanted to wait but "the twins' health was deteriorating," which led to the emergency surgery.

So sad. I mean, what can you say? At least one of them survived? That's good news, right? Somehow it doesn't offset the sadness of the other half of the story. The fact that the twins' names are Hope and Faith got to me even more.

Source: AFP via Google

Missing Girl Reunited With Father

High School Student in Hospital After Scavenger Hunt

British Teen Makes History with Siamese Twins

Woman Swings Crowbar At Trick Or Treaters

Chicago Woman Lived With Dead Siblings For 20 Years

They Say: Anesthesia Can Cause Trouble Down the Road

Amy Kuras — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 17:32:00 GMT

As if watching your kid get wheeled away for surgery isn’t bad enough, today comes news that anesthesia can cause developmental problems in children.

A preliminary study by Lena S. Sun, professor of anesthesiology and pediatrics at the Columbia University found that children who were exposed to anesthesia were about twice as likely to be diagnosed with a later behavioral or developmental disorder.

Sun looked at a database of Medicaid patients in New York. The Columbia team studied a group of children born between 1999 and 2000 who had received general anesthesia for hernia repair and a group of 5,000 children who never had the surgery.

After adjusting for other factors associated with such disorders, such as low birth weight and gender, 30 anesthesia-exposed children, or 4.8 percent, were found to have developmental and behavior disorders during follow up, compared with 75 unexposed children, or 1.5 percent.

Because all of the kids in the study would be considered to be economically disadvantaged, that may have led to the higher levels of developmental or behavioral delays as well. Even the lead researcher is cautioning that these findings are preliminary and need to be looked at further.

Still, as someone whose baby just had surgery, which was thankfully minor but still required general anesthesia, UGH. It was hard enough to watch my little guy get carried away for surgery knowing they would put him under, but to know I may have put him at higher risk for more problems down the road is just upsetting.

Part II: A Guy’s Take on Why You Shouldn’t Circumcise (and Why You Should)

Cole Gamble — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:04:00 GMT

Okay, I’ve had my say so now it’s time to acknowledge the pros of whacking the little bugger off (the foreskin, I mean).

There Are Some Small Medical Benefits

Among the benefits are:

Decreased potential for urinary tract infection.

Increased possibility for penile cancer (although probability for penile cancer is remote for either circumcised or uncircumcised males).

Three times more susceptible to contract HIV from infected women. (Might want to give your son the condom talk, what do you say?)

Some Girls Do Like it Better

And some don’t, I might add.

Will Make Son Look More Like Daddy

Assuming daddy is foreskin-less as well. Their similarity, anatomically speaking, is something they can bond over, like when they play catch.

Circumcisions Don’t Hurt Like They Used To

For months leading up to our boy’s circumcision (yes, my wife won) I feared the sound of betrayed wailing that would come from my son as the doctor has is way with him and a machete. On the day of the procedure, I was surprised the find the operation had more to do with string than scalpel. There was a quick cut, a quick yelp and then the doctor put a nice Boy Scout knot around my boy’s penis, leaving the foreskin to dry up and eventually fall off on its own.

I have given you all I can. Hopefully you’re now armed to make an educated decision regarding your son’s penile future. The most important part to remember is it’s your choice. Not grandpas. Not your neighbor’s. Not society’s. It’s yours.

Back to part 1...the cons of circumcision

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The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

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**The Sh*t List: 10 Bizarre (or Terrific?) Potty Gadgets**

A Guy’s Take on Why You Shouldn’t Circumcise (and Why You Should)

Cole Gamble — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:00:00 GMT

To cut or not to cut: that is the question. Any parent about to have a boy faces this quandry. In ancient times circumcision was a must. Lack of proper hygiene made foreskins a liability. This is the modern era, however. The old slice n’ dice routine is more choice than mandate. Some of you made your decision the second you discovered the sex of the baby. “I’ll chop the sucker off myself if I have to.” Some of you were a bit more hesitant. The same problem saddled my wife and I two years ago. One of us was very pro-circ (wife) and the other less so. For full disclosure’s sake, I myself am not circumcised and it doesn’t bother me one iota. So I laid out my case to save the foreskin. Here’s is what I told my wife:

Penis Styling as Fashion

Save the religious exception, most parents chose to cut because they simply think it’s a more fashionable look. The line I got from my wife was, “Girls like them better.” To which I replied, “You married me, didn’t you?” At which point she added, “Oh, but yours is…special,” patting me on the head reassuringly. Um, nice save. My father in law tossed in his two cents: “The boys in the high school showers will make fun of him.” “Oh really?” I said, “Well then my son can just say, ‘Dude, you’re the one staring at my penis.’” Face it, parents circumcise because they want their boy to be like all the others. They’re shaping their child to conform from birth. Is that what you want, a conformist? Do you want to a kid who is a genital sheep, or do want one who rocks the system with a penis with personality?

Great Names

All the euphemisms for circumcised are played out. Bald headed soldier. One eyed snake. Yawn. Think of a cut penis as a wellspring of inspiration for new names. Like “The Sleeping Bag” or “Mr. Turtleneck.”

Men with Uncircumcised Penises Have More Pleasurable Sex

Okay so you’re not giving a lot of thought to your child’s future sex life. Fair enough, but many experts believe that circumcision leads to lessened penile sensitivity because the foreskin is jam packed with nerve endings. It is even said that an un-snipped penis is better for the woman as well. Leave the foreskin alone and, believe me, your son will thank you years from now. Not that you would ever, ever, ever want him to.

Possible Surgical Risk

Any and all surgery (and circumcision is surgery) comes with risk.

It Is Not Too Much Trouble to Care For

This was the big argument my wife trotted out. “You don’t want to clean it everyday, do you?” Turns out you are not even supposed to touch the thing until the boy is three, and by then it pulls back naturally and you clean it just like you would a normal penis. So there, you penis scrubbing fanatics!

Read Part 2: The Pros of Circumsicion

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The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

7 Classic Kid's TV Shows Clearly Conceived on (Bad) Acid

12 Pregnancy Myths

**The Sh*t List: 10 Bizarre (or Terrific?) Potty Gadgets**

Kids Open Lemonade Stand to Pay for Cat Surgery

Cole Gamble — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 17:00:00 GMT

When life hands you a lemon cat, make lemonade. A couple of kids in Utah are seeking to do little something more with their summer than play in the flesh-melting chlorinated public pool. They’ve opened a lemonade stand with a simple sign, “Buy a drink, help my cat.” In order to obtain the $700 needed to pay for a surgery on their partially paralyzed cat, Aspen and Skylar Granath are selling lemonade. Here’s hoping they make enough to throw in a robotic eye with laser beams.

3-year-old boy has never slept

Brett Singer — Mon, 12 May 2008 16:00:00 GMT

I don't know what to make of this story. I do know that I'm unlikely to ever complain about Thing 2 waking up in the middle of the night.

A little boy in St. Petersburg, Florida hasn't slept in 3 years. Not "oh, he woke up last night at midnight." No sleep. At all. For 3 years.

And… he's 3 years old. So he's never slept a wink in his entire life. No naps, nothing. Mom and dad sleep in shifts, since someone has to be with him all the time.

His parents have been to numerous doctors and gotten a variety of answers. The current theory is that the boy suffers from a rare condition known as chiari malformation (source). Their best hope seems to be surgery that has a 50% chance of being effective.

I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical when I first read this. He doesn't even look tired! But it appears this sort of thing has happened before. Here's a story about a Vietnamese man who hasn't slept in 33 years and is healthy. Me, I'm tired when I get less than 8 hours. Since that almost never happens, I'm tired, like, all the time. I feel like a big wimp.

Anyway, I hope the surgery does the job. Poor kid.

image: Local6 News

Mom Gets Fifteen Years For Unnecessary Surgeries on Son

Kelly Mills — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:34:00 GMT

From the department of "Eeeeesh!" comes this story: Two of Laurie Williamson's children were in wheelchairs and had feeding tubes. Her three kids altogether had at least 500 doctor's appointments in ten years in connection with a rare illness. And Williamson raised $150,000 between 2000 and 2005 from individuals and organizations for her kids' health issues.

One problem with this scenario: Prosecutors say she fabricated the illnesses to get the money. And she was convicted of child abuse and sentenced to 15 years for putting her son through two unnecessary surguries, for a nerve-stimulation device and a gastric feeding-button. The children were malnourished when they were taken into protective custody. She also told the kids they had a rare condition and would not survive past their teens. However, it's more likely she herself has a somewhat rare condition: Munchausen syndrome by proxy, where a person makes up or induces symptoms in another to get attention. And in this case, $150,000.

The kids are now with a relative, and their mom is not allowed contact.

Update On Girl Who Took Bullet For Her Mom

Kelly Mills — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:38:00 GMT

I'm sorry, but this story just got to me when it came out, so I'm glad to give the update. Some of you might remember that Alexis Goggins threw herself in front of bullets intended for her mother. When the gunman was about to open fire on Seliethia Parker, Alexis cried "Don't hurt my mother!" and ended up with six gunshot wounds, putting her in critical condition and blinding her in one eye.

So what's the word on Alexis now? After six surgeries and two months in the hospital, she's doing well. She has several scars and attends physical therapy twice a week, and she will be fitted for an artificial eye soon. Her mother says she rarely speaks about the shooting, and only remembers pieces of it. But Alexis also received over 200 letters of support from folks who heard her story, and a fund set up to help her through school has collected $30,000. Her mother says, "I'm thanking God every day that me and my baby are still here. It has taught me to...appreciate the smaller things in life." Sniff. Time to go hug my daughter now.

Photo: Associated Press

First Steps on 2, Not 4, Legs

Madeline Holler — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 19:42:00 GMT

Toddler Lakshmi has taken her first steps. This is news because she's the little girl from India who was born with eight arms and legs. One set of each was removed in marathon surgery and she made a quick recovery. But doctors weren't certain about how quickly the rest of her development would go.

Pretty fast, it looks like.

From ABC News:

After the operation she instinctively started behaving like a normal child. It's like she had always been waiting for the opportunity," the girl's mother, Poonam Tatma, told Britain's Channel 4 News.

"When she was put in the baby walker she started pushing herself backwards with her legs and burst into laughter with a huge grin on her face. She loves it."

The little girl, whose fellow villages believe she is the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess with the same name, also cruises, holding on to tables and chairs to get around. Lakshmi was born joined at the pelvis with a twin who died while the two were still developing in the womb. The parasitic twin was absorbed by her sister and continued to grow along with Lakshmi.

Lakshmi has club feet, which makes sustained walking a little difficult. But she'll return soon for more surgeries, which should allow her to soon be walking completely on her own.

What? Cut My Kid's Tongue? On Purpose?

Karen Murphy — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 12:33:00 GMT

Half my kids were born wth a short frenulum. That's the stretchy bit of flesh that connects the tongue to the bottom of the mouth. Born with a short one and you're known as "tongue-tied."

"Cut it," advised the nurse. "She won't be able to talk."

"Leave it alone for now; she'll grow out of it," said the doctor, "even though it looks like a devil tongue, look!" and I could see her tongue splitting nearly in two inside her tiny mouth. But HELLO, cut off part of my kid? A tiny helpless infant? (not to mention the "devil tongue" thing. We didn't go back to that asshat.)

Yeah, well, it turns out that I could have saved both of us a LOT of breastfeeding grief had I gone ahead and had her tongue snipped.

And I'm not alone: severe tongue-tie can cause huge problems in breastfeeding, not the least of which is severe pain for the mother due to the unusual tongue placement and latch. Great. NOW I find this out.

Oh, and my daughter? Had a lingual frenectomy a year ago, at age 7. She wasn't kept from talking (TRUST me, that girl was not stopped!), but she couldn't form a "th" sound and the constant pull on her lower teeth from her tongue, was starting to move her bottom teeth.

It's a quick and easy snip-snip as an infant, and a bit more involved as a 7-year-old. Had I known then what I know now I would have had it done right away.

My son, by the way, grew out of his, which wasn't nearly as severe as his sister's. Many do grow out of it, and you never know. I'm not an advocate of cutting off anything in a kid who can't decide for himself (my daughter was frustrated as her inability to stick out her tongue, obviously a necessary attribute for any 7-year-old), but this is one cut that deserves a second look.

Photo: upload.wikimedia.org

Twins Who Shared Heart Recovering Fine

Kelly Mills — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 19:29:00 GMT

Here's your twin story for the day. Conjoined twins who were separated by medical procedure and given a 50 percent survival rate are doing well. The two-year-old girls, Yurelia and Fiorella Rocha-Arias, were conjoined at the abdomen and chest, and shared a right atria. The separation surgery took place in November, and now the twins have been cleared to return home to Costa Rica soon. "I feel very happy and very content, because my girls were born anew in this hospital," said the twins' mother through a translator.

The surgery was no picnic: While there were serious concerns for the life of the girls following the seperation, one of the twins also required additional surgery to correct heart defects. The physicians at Lucille Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford University donated their time to care for the girls, and faith-based non-profit Mending Kids International covered transportation and housing. One doctor estimates 300 people were involved in the procedure. The twins' mom says her girls are still connected to each other: "They always look for each other. They sleep together. They try to be together as often as possible."

Christina Aguilera Has Baby--And Jennifer Block Preaches C-Sections

Kelly Mills — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 13:57:00 GMT

Yesterday was the date the mags and rags told us one Christina to the Aguilera had her baby, possibly by scheduled cesarean section. Jennifer Block wrote our fair lady an open letter on HuffPo before the blessed event, opening with the statement that it is every woman's choice how she does her birth. Buuuut c-sections are so much more dangerous for mom and baby, have a longer recovery time, and are more painful. She notes that if Xtina is going non-hoo hoo birth for cosmetic reasons, she should know about the belly skin overhang that is the aftermath of the "C". Block tells Xtina that since she has all the money and resources at her disposal, perhaps she could consider a home birth, an option not even available to most women. She stops short at mentioning the possibility a vaginal birth can make you orgasm. And now I'm actually feeling bad for Xtina.

See, I get why people don't want births to be so medicalized, and I do believe home births should be legal and I'm fully supportive of however anyone wants to get the little bundle to emerge. But damn, leaving aside the fact that we have no real idea what Xtina did, if she wanted or needed a c-section, then I say leave her the hell alone. I mean, if she had some medical reason for the "C" would anyone decent then launch into the litany of how much more dangerous it is than vaginal birth? Naw, the assumption is that she's doing to avoid birth pain (as reported) or for vanity or convenience. Well, so what? It's her life, her baby. Just because she's famous, doesn't mean she has to be earth mama for us all, resources at her disposal or not. I have to tell you that at times, some folks in the natural home birth camp bug the hell out of me with all the preaching. For some people birth is better at home, and for others, an epidural and a doc are a better fit, and for still others, a c-section is going to be the way to go, and even an imperative. I guess I think it doesn't matter as much how the babies come out, and more that everyone gets support and non-judge-y love.

New Years Babies Timing Questioned (And Answered)

Madeline Holler — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 13:31:00 GMT

Quick. What's one "news" story guaranteed to be featured in Tuesday's local news? That's right! The annual "First Baby of the New Year" story. Snore!

But I do have some questions about the whole "time of birth" thing anyway, even though I had mine waaaay past any new year in March. How do you tell who the winner is for those citywide contests? I mean, do hospitals synchronize their clocks? Are nurses required to look at the clock? And when, officially, is a baby born? Head out? Feet out? Cut, swaddled and Apgar scored? Do laboring moms watch the clock to ensure their win all those great door prizes (and is holding the baby in any longer than necessary worth any amount of money?)

Thanks to Slate for handling these important New Years babies questions.

To be born, the whole body must be out. And the time is whatever a nurse calls out after looking at a clock on the wall. (So official!) As for holding the baby in, it's not likely. Though an epidural does dull the urge to push so ... if you're working the system, go for the javelin. On the flip side, hurrying the kid out just for some free diapers won't likely work either. Damn that Mother Nature! And if you're going for the c-section, well, you'd better schedule it at a very rural hospital. It's not likely doc will agree to surgery at 11:59 p.m. So you'll want the lowest traffic maternity ward you can find.

Is any of this worth a bag of free diapers and a post-partum interview on Channel 7?

Girl With 8 Limbs Down to 4, Leaves Hospital

Madeline Holler — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 15:32:00 GMT

We've been following the progress of this little girl in India who underwent surgery recently to have her two extra arms and two extra legs removed. Readers have also been very interested in Lakshmi, and we have some good news.

The surgery went very well, according to reports, better even than doctors had thought. She left the hospital in Bangalore this weekend and will return home with her parents. She should have no problems walking, though before the surgery she had never rolled over on her own or stood for long.

You may recall, Lakshmi was born joined at the pelvis with a twin who died while the two were still developing in the womb. The parasitic twin was absorbed by her sister and continued to grow along with Lakshmi, who is named after the Hindu goddess with four arms. Some in her rural village thought she was in fact a reincarnation.

More than 30 surgeons performed a 24-hour operation in early November, removing the extra limbs. They also transplanted the twin's kidney and reconstructed the girl's pelvic area.

"... She was even able to stand for 10 minutes on the bed holding the window grill, which is remarkable," the Press Trust of India news agency quoted ....

This Parasitic Twin is Growing Out of Her Sister's Back

Madeline Holler — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:02:00 GMT

Wow. Okay, first there was Lakshmi, with an extra set of arms and legs. Then there was a little Indonesian girl, who spent her first year of life with two sisters in her tummy. And now this. A young Chinese girl with the arm of a parasitic twin growing out of her back.

Eleven-year-old Ren Xin underwent surgery yesterday to have the extra limb removed. The surgery was risky, because the twins’ spines were fused together. And a major blood vessel connecting their organs also had to be separated from the rest of the body attached to the extra arm, obviously the result of an absorbed parasitic twin.

The story doesn’t explain when the arm started growing out of her back, or whether it was present at her birth. But the family is poor, which might explain why, at 11, she’s only just now getting it removed. Also no word on whether her organs were starting to suffer as a result of the extra partial body.

In any case, Ren Xin has been inspired by her time with the doctors, surgeons and nurses at the hospital and wants to become a doctor herself. A good daughter and a good doctor, she said.

Doctors Find Two Dead Siblings In the Stomach of a Lone Triplet

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 22:02:00 GMT

Doctors removed two siblings from the body of a one-year-old in Indonesia yesterday. The girl’s siblings were removed from her abdomen and the surviving triplet, who absorbed her unviable sisters, is expected to survive.

Doctors discovered the triplets when they examined the living child for what they thought were abdominal tumors but turned out to be partially formed human bodies.

The surgery took five hours, but was complicated. The aortas of the two absorbed triplets were still linked with the surviving girl's.

One of the bodies, according the story, was totally complete, except for arms and legs. And the other had ony a head, but with hair, and also part of a digestive system.

Doctors said the two would have been lifeless when the girl was born.

This makes little Lakshmi's recent twin removal seem half-way normal.

Photo: AFP stock photo on yahoo.com

Surgery on Girl with 8 Arms, Legs a Success

Madeline Holler — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 20:29:00 GMT

A team of 30 surgeons and doctors successfully removed the two extra arms and two extra legs of a 2-year-old Indian girl, who had been born with eight limbs, a second spine and other extra organs.

As part of the surgery, which lasted 24 hours, doctors also managed to salvage her organs and reconstruct her pelvis. The lead surgeon said this girl, whose villagers believed she was a reincarnation of Hindu Goddess Lakshmi, would lead a normal life once she has fully recovered.

Lakshmi's extra body parts are the result of a "parasitic twin," a second fetus in a mother's womb that dies and becomes absorbed by the other living and normally developing fetus.

The next few days she will be watched closely as she remains in critical condition. One surgeon in the U.S., who was not involved in Lakshmi's operation, said the girls chances of survival are great, since she and her twin weren't joined at the brain or heart.

Photo: Associated Press

8-Limbed Girl to Undergo Surgery

Madeline Holler — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 19:09:00 GMT

A girl who was born with eight arms and legs is undergoing surgery in her native India to have some of them removed. (Click here for more pictures.)

Considered by some in her village to be a reincarnation of the Hindu goddess -- after whom the 2-year-old Lakshmi is named -- the girl has been treated with reverence as well as spectacle. A circus even offered to buy her from her family.

The extra limbs -- and also extra organs -- are the result of a parsitic twin. A conjoined twin stopped developing in the mother's womb and was absorbed by the surviving fetus. This has left Lakshmi with a complicated little body. Doctors have already separated her two fused spines.

Chances are good that she'll live past adolescence, her doctors say, if she can overcome the 20 to 25 percent odds that she won't survive the surgery.

Photos: Associated Press

Post-Partum Must-Have: The Mommy Makeover

Karen Murphy — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:28:00 GMT

There's a new "mother's little helper" in town, and it isn't drugs. Nope, it's surgery and lots of it, because those badges of motherhood have turned into badges of shame and if you're the one caught without a tummy tuck then you won't get invited to the party. That's right, everybody needs a "mommy makeover."

As much as I acknowledge my own struggles with body image and secretly want the $30,000 surgery trifecta of tummy tuck/lipo/breast lift, it peeves me no end that something as drastic as surgery, as this blatant non-acceptance of one's own body in whatever shape it happens to be in, has become so pervasive.

So it's not the fact that women are flocking to plastic surgeons in droves for this sort of thing (the rate rose 11% for women ages 20-29 from 2005-2006) that bothers me, it's the fact that now it's sort of expected. Sure, we may poke fun at the extremes taken by the Real Housewives of of Orange County, but at the same time we want to be them, want the sort of surface perfection we see in them.

Oh, and here's the other thing that irks me. Its not only for themselves that women are willingly going under the knife in multiple procedures to re-create their bodies as if to proclaim they never had kids, but they are doing it to please someone else: the husbands. In describing one woman's experience: 'As for her husband, that's a no-brainer. "He loves it."'

Would you consider having surgery to erase the toll of motherhood? Or have you already?