Just Another Reason Helicopter Parents Need to Back Off

JeanneSager — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 14:33:00 GMT

So your kid is a bit obsessive about his piano, wipes the thing down with furniture polish twice a day and won't let the dog breathe on it? Hate to break it to you (or do I?), but you might want to take a look in the mirror.

Researchers at the University of Montreal found the more controlling parents are, the harder it is for kids to develop a "harmonious passion for their favorite activity." Yeah, you ruined it for them.

The study of 588 kids ages 6 to 38 was recently published in the Journal of Personality, and it adds weight to the warning that helicopter parenting may not be the best way to raise well-rounded children. Anal and obsessed kids, yes, well-rounded, no. The researcher found "children raised by strict parents are often moody, unhappy, fearful, and irritable. "

Those forced to take part in an activity (be it sports, a musical instrument or even joining a club) against their will have a harder time separating from it as an adults. "The child learns that by obeying their parents they will be loved,” says Lead researcher Genevieve Mageau. “The risk is that as adults they continue to pursue the activity to maintain their self-esteem.”

I was glad to see this kind of news coming out because so often parents insist that they're just trying to make sure their kids have the best of everything. But when every single trip to ballet class is a screaming match, when not a single soccer game can pass without their kid bursting into tears, some parents have to realize what's "best" isn't necessarily giving them waht you didn't have. Kids should certainly be pushed a little when they're younger to "at least give it a try," but there's no shame in letting a miserable child quit an activity. Making them "tough it out" doesn't always make them stronger people. Sometimes it just makes them unhappier ones.

Image: Sabri Hakim

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"Live To Tell": Madonna's Former Nanny Writes A Book

Alisyn — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 12:29:00 GMT

Who's the Material Girl, now?

(Sorry. I had to!)

Melissa Dumas claims to have been the nanny for Madonna's two oldest children, Lola and Rocco, from 2005-2006, and she's looking to cash in on her experience with a tell-all book titled "Live To Tell: My Life As Madonna's Nanny," scheduled for release later this year.

Reports say that the book paints a portrait of Madonna as an "overly strict mother," who forbids even the slightest noises from being made while she's sleeping (not even running water), forces household members to adhere to a strict dietary regimen - macrobiotic, I'm guessing - and enforces a total media ban within the home(s): no television, newspapers or magazines allowed - ever.

So far, it sounds pretty accurate; Madonna has mentioned the media ban herself, and has admitted to being "the disciplinarian" in the family. I wonder what Guy Ritchie thinks of his wife running their house like some kind of deranged Capitan Von Trapp in a cone bra - where does he fit into all of this? And if she hated the famously strict Catholic home she grew up in (she has spoken openly about how much she loathed it), why would Madonna choose to raise her own children in a similar fashion? For god's sake, does "Papa Don't Preach" mean nothing?!?

Strollerderby : strict parents

Just Another Reason Helicopter Parents Need to Back Off

"Live To Tell": Madonna's Former Nanny Writes A Book