Strollerderby : stress

Working In Fitness

Amy Kuras — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:31:00 GMT

We all know that exercise is the magic bullet for so many maladies that plague the modern parent: stress, sleep deprivation, lack of stamina to keep up with these constantly moving little maniacs (okay, maybe that’s just me), but finding a way to stay active along with the 19 million other things you need to get done in a day can be difficult. And while kid chasing certainly keeps you going, it doesn’t really count as the 30 minutes of moderate exercise we’re supposed to get on most days.

Gaiam (the people who bring us those yummy Rodney Yee yoga videos as well as the best Pilates ones I have ever tried) offers up some interesting tips on their blog. What makes this different from the bajillion other pieces of advice out there is that it actually breaks it down by age instead of just giving vague advice like “Babies love sit-ups!”

For example, it suggests dancing with babies and toddlers (mine love this). If you’ve got school-age kids, they recommend keeping comfy clothes and shoes in your car so you can squeeze in a quick walk while you wait for a sports practice or lesson to be over. Such a no-brainer but not something I would have thought of (and quite honestly I am more likely to use the time to read or make a phone call, but I like the idea anyway!).

The only thing that’s allowed us to get regular workouts in, though, is free drop-in childcare at our local Y. They get to play with other kids, I get a break and we get some sweaty exercise in all at once.

Your Kid's Mouth Stinks: Here's Why

JeanneSager — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:11:00 GMT

Stressed? Get out the toothbrush . . . and get it out on your kids' teeth. Because a new study says parents who are stressed are more likely to have kids with tooth decay.

Yes, you read that right - parents, our kids will have another thing to complain about in therapy. And at the dentist!

The study actually makes sense if you think about it. Stressed parents have less time to be paying attention to their kids' oral hygiene. Or maybe they're stressed because their kids throw up such a fit in the morning over brushing their teeth?

Either way, scientists at Ohio State University found that while a low income, little education and being single could all add to a parent's stress, those were also the parents whose kids were more likely to suffer from tooth decay. And getting their kids' teeth cleaned or cavities filled was likely to decrease parents' stress.

Which probably only lasts until they get the bill. . .

Image: StartingCavities

They Say: Abuse Changes a Child's Brain

Kate Tuttle — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:26:00 GMT

Researchers who had previously studied the relationships between stress responses and maternal nurturing in animals have taken their work into a new arena, looking at how human brains are affected, in adulthood, by abuse and neglect suffered in childhood. The study, carried out at McGill University in Montreal, is very small (it compared the brains of 12 suicide victims who had been abused to 12 suicide victims who had not been, against a control group of 12 non-suicide brains) but, many in the field agree, could lead to larger-scale research into how childhood trauma can cause lifelong damage to a person's ability to handle stress.

Like so many studies of how human beings work, this one seems to only confirm the obvious: who among us wouldn't instinctively know that a terrible childhood leaves permanent scars? And yet it goes further than that -- if a biological brain difference is found, therapies could be developed that would offer some hope of healing those previously unhealable wounds. And just as the researchers' previous work had looked at the multi-generational effect of both good and bad animal parenting, perhaps their ultimate goal would be to figure out how to end the cycle of bad human parenting, one formerly abused or neglected child at a time.

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They Say: Kids Need To Be Taught to Handle School Stress

JeanneSager — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:04:00 GMT

Could teens who turn to drugs and alcohol just be plain old stressed?

A new study out of Britain states thirty-six percent of kids who were stressed about exams, peer relationships and the volume of homework turned to drinking to drown their sorrows. Another sixteen percent smoked cigarettes, while six percent used drugs to make the stress go up in a puff of smoke.

The study, presented at the British Psychological Society's Division of Educational and Child Psychology annual conference, focuses on stress; but I wonder how much time they spent examining these kids' home lives. Because school is stressful; and not just because of the pressure of impending college applications but because it's the time when hormones are starting to drive every child a little bit loony!

But handling school stress and turning to drugs are two different things. Where are these kids' parents? I know that's often the response when anyone talks about kids on drugs or using alcohol . . . but that makes it no less of an obvious. I run the risk of sounding like an old fogey here, but in my day, when we started drinking, we did it as much because we could get away with it as we did for any sound psychological reasons. Who answered, "Hey, want a Zima and some Skittles?" with "yeah, my teachers are really riding me?"

In college, maybe. But in high school, we didn't sit around moaning about the SATs when we were drinking. So are kids actually more stressed? Or are they suffering a lack of parental intervention in their lives . . . which could translate into stress and give them the free time to indulge in vices that more-involved parents are able to weed out?

Image: NPR

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Miriam Axel-Lute — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Women who worked up until their due date had four times the rate of c-sections as women who started their maternity leave at 35 weeks, a new study from UC Berkeley has found.

Now, I'm not sure how you can control for self-selection in that kind of study. I imagine that women starting their maternity leave early are both more likely to be placing a priority on their birth experience and better off financially, each of which could affect their outcomes. (I'm assuming they excluded people with scheduled c-sections from the study.)

On the other hand, the results were is four times as likely, not a titchy 10 to 15 percent or something. That, as Dr. Seuss might say, is a whopping number, and it makes me inclined to think there really is something going on here.

It's not really hard to imagine what either: On the one hand, there's the stress of trying to do your job with an open-ended question of whether you might have to leave at a moment's notice, trying to have things ready and yet still work, with bosses and people who are going to step into your shoes watching you anxiously. And other hand, there's the stress of trying to decide when/if you have to leave when contractions start, whether you're up for driving yourself home, when to call the family, and then changing gears in an instant from worker to woman-in-labor. Hardly optimal conditions.

I was lucky: Since I was leaving my job instead of taking maternity leave, it was easier for me to choose to set my last day at 35 weeks. And I have to say, since my daughter came early (37 weeks and 2 days), I'm extremely glad I did. Even though you never exactly feel prepared, having tied up loose ends, cleared out my desk and said my goodbyes and then taking those two weeks free of deadline pressure and office details to sleep/nest/prepare felt wonderful. It may be the closest thing to taking a complete vacation without traveling I've ever done. Can I prove that that helped with my fairly uncomplicated birth? Of course not, but I wouldn't be surprised.

I know how much of a luxury that sounds like to so many people. I sure as hell couldn't blithely skip five (or even two) weeks of work now. In general, it's hard enough to get maternity or paternity leave at all, and the UC Berkeley researchers, while advocating strongly that maternity leave start earlier, note that people who choose to work up to their due date (or up to their labor as the case often is) are usually doing so because they can't afford maternity leave after the birth otherwise, and clearly that trumps.

I guess for now we can add the health advantages they've identified to the list of casualties of our work-over-family culture.

Image from Take Back Your Time.

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Toddler Injured in Xmas Tree Fight Between Mom and Grandma

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 23:15:00 GMT

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and put your irritation with your mother-in-law on hold—particularly when it’s Christmas Eve, your toddler is in the room, and you’re wielding a large Christmas tree like a weapon.

A 21-month-old is in the hospital after receiving a serious eye injury during a tussle between her mother and her grandmother over a four-foot-tall Christmas tree, over which they each claimed ownership. (It really is amazing how often Christmas becomes a time to completely obliterate the Christmas spirit.) The holiday did not begin auspiciously for the family, as they were celebrating in a motel after a fire forced them out of their home.

The mother, Sandra Price, is being held on charges of reckless conduct, and it is not yet clear whether or not her daughter will lose sight in her eye.

Photo: thetelegraph.com

Letter to Santa: Make My Relative Stop Touching Me

Three-Year-Old Captures Essence of Familial Relationships

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:06:00 GMT

This video was just the comedic relief I needed at the end of hectic holidays travels punctuated by highly concentrated family time. It's not brand new, but it's worth resuscitating.

You may think this three year-old is being inexcusably mean to his mom by telling her he only likes her when she gives him cookies, but as he keeps explaining his feelings about his mother, you realize he's just being refreshingly frank about the nature of family relationships.

Photo: simpsoncrazy.com

Childcare Relationships and Bickering Parents Affect Kids' Stress Hormones

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 22:30:00 GMT

It seems self-evident that kids with poor childcare relationships or parents who frequently fight are more stressed than other kids. But now two new studies have established this common sense theory from a biological standpoint, by monitoring the levels of cortisol (the human stress hormone) in preschoolers and 6-year-olds. As parents across the country struggle to afford high quality childcare and to maintain a stable home environment, these studies are unfortunately quite applicable to these trying economic times.

In most people, cortisol levels decrease throughout the day. But for many children in full-time daycare, the stress hormone increases as the day progresses. Researchers found that class size clearly affected children’s moods, with preschoolers in classes of 10 or fewer children producing less cortisol than those in classrooms with closer to 20 other kids.

Children with poor relationships with their daycare providers became more stressed after one-on-one interactions with the teacher, while clingier kids had higher overall cortisol increases throughout the day.

Similarly, a study of 6-year-olds with bickering parents found that those who were very involved in and distressed about the fights produced more cortisol than other 6-year-olds. Since high levels of cortisol have been linked to health and psychological problems, this finding offers a biological understanding of why kids who get very upset by their parents’ arguments are more likely to have psychological problems later. (Whether higher levels of cortisol are a cause or an effect of psychological disorders is not clear.)

The study’s authors hope that understanding the biological basis of stress in young children will change the way kids in these common problematic situations are treated. For instance, monitoring kids’ levels of cortisol could help indicate whether a given intervention is working to relieve stress or not.

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Photo: pregnancy-depression-help.com

Equally Shouldering the Parenting Duties - Literally

JeanneSager — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 16:42:00 GMT

Warning to moms of kids who don't talk yet. Do NOT teach them the word "up." Seriously, it's over-rated.

Over the past three years, I've developed a killer case of "Mom back," the throbbing, aching out-of-whack back you wear like a badge of honor for carting kids around all day. (As opposed to the "Mom back flab," the pinch an inch section right above the new old lady support bras we are forced to wear after children).

This month's Parents Magazine offers up a series of stretches to soothe the Mom back, but I've got a better idea. Don't pick them up. Make Dad - or their other Mom - do it.

There's an unspoken agreement in our marriage that ranks right up on the importance level with the "no happy endings" understanding - if I've got to do it, you do too. That extends outside the doors of the house where the 3-year-old insists she needs to be carried because she caaaaaaan't do it herself. I'd like to remind her of that when you're 15 minutes late to work and she demands to be allowed to "do it myself" while you're trying to shove her little pink Vans on her feet.

When you're out by yourself, there isn't much choice. I've left my daughter lying in a puddle on the department store floor and walked 5 feet (yes, where I could still see her) while she got over her tantrum and realized "up" wasn't happening, but usually it's just easier to pick her up and get a move on. Hence Mom back.

But when I see a Mom lugging a kid on each hip, a purse over one shoulder and a clutch of shopping bags in hand while a guy walks along beside her without a care in the world, I'm tempted to walk over, remove one child from one hip and clamp his little hands around Daddy's shoulders, then turn and do the same to kid number two. See how you like it buddy.

Image: ForParentsByParents

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Five Motherhood Myths

SunnyChanel — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:22:00 GMT

Yup, everyone has mom guilt of some sort or another. Recently there have been myriad of lists, essays and blog posts on why us moms shouldn’t beat ourselves up. No one is perfect. And every now and then, it’s reassuring to be reminded of that fact. That’s when we can sit down, have a big sigh of relief and celebrate with a glass of wine, or two. This week, the Today Show with a guest from Woman’s Day had a countdown on five motherhood myths just so we can all feel a little bit better.

Here are their Five Motherhood Myths

"Myth 1: A good mom likes her children all the time"
Christine Nicholson, PhD says “Some days you just want to pack their bags, drop them off at the train station and drive away,…That’s normal. If you can find the caring, kind parts of you 75 percent of the time, you’re doing really well!”

"Myth 2: A good mom bonds with her children immediately"
They cited that your newborn may seem like a stranger at first, many new moms don’t feel that strong motherly bond until much later. “Like any relationship, your connection to your children develops over time,”

"Myth 3: A good mom balances it all"
“Everyone knows at least one “perfect” mom — the one with the always-sparkling kitchen, the well-behaved children and the exciting career. How does she do it? She doesn’t…at least, not without help.” There’s always at least one ball that falls during the juggling act that is a busy mother’s life. They say we shouldn’t try so hard to do it all, that just makes even more stress.

"Myth 4: A good mom spends a lot of time with her kids—and they like her because of it"
Basically quality reigns over quantity.

"Myth 5: A good mom belongs to one big, supportive Moms Club"
Yeah, no mom is an island. Having a support group to vent to, get advice from and just have playdates can be a great and a resourceful thing. But just because these women all joined the Moms Club because of their ability to obtain offsping doesn’t mean you’ll get along with them. Some just aren’t supportive, are critical of other folks and many moms cite that they feel “undermined by other parents”.

To read the entire Woman’s Day piece – click here.

(image via SFGATE.com)

Baby Planners: Who Needs 'Em?

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 20:58:00 GMT

During your pregnancy, would you have paid $250 to have someone walk you through Babies R’ Us, pointing out the must-have products? Or $500 to have someone plan your baby shower? How about $200 to have your home babyproofed?

These are just some of the services offered by baby coordinators, the latest advent in the commercialization of parenting. While I am all for easing the stress that can come with expecting a baby, I am definitely NOT for teaching mothers that having disposable income is the only way to do this. Shouldn’t friends or family be the ones helping parents-to-be make these important decisions? Or, perhaps more importantly, shouldn’t expectant parents learn to trust their own parenting instincts?

I worry that baby planning promises to be just one more trend that will make mothers feel not good enough—“You mean you didn’t hire a baby planner?!”

And in case the commercialization factor doesn’t bother you, perhaps the sexist element will: many baby planning companies also offer “daddy preparation.” Because those silly men don’t know a thing about babies!

Photo: The Boston Globe

Couple Sues After Failed Vasectomy

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 00:04:00 GMT

What would your first assumption be if your wife got pregnant after you’d had a vasectomy? Would you suspect her of being unfaithful—or your sperm of outsmarting your sterilization surgery?

Well, unless your marriage is on the rocks or you’re swingers (and, hey, I don’t judge!), the latter is the more likely. At least 1 percent of vasectomies fail to prevent pregnancy—just as condoms break and women on the pill get pregnant.

Mindy and Brady Hill of Arkansas found out what it was like to be that one percent (as, presumably, have thousands of other couples), and they didn’t like it one bit. They claim that doctors suggested that Mindy had been unfaithful, which put stress on their marriage. After Mindy miscarried, a paternity test showed that there was a 99.999 percent chance that the baby was Brady’s. No doubt this whole ordeal was highly stressful and unpleasant. Still, one would hope that Brady trusted Mindy enough that a paternity test wasn’t necessary to make him believe that the baby was his. But, of course, a paternity test will come in handy in court.

Mindy and Brady are suing for negligence and defamation. Should they win?

Photo: Shaadi Times

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Pop Quiz: Do You Need a Vacation?

Jen Chaney — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:02:00 GMT

Wondering if you need to take a break from the stresses of parenting? Take this helpful quiz and find out.

Supposedly if you answer "often" to five or more of the questions, then you are in need of an immediate, rejuvenating vacation. But honestly, I would have answered often to some of these questions before I even had a kid.

"Are you careless about the appearance of your home?"

Uh, try every freaking day.

"Are you irritable and quick-tempered?"

Yes, jerky. What's it to you?

And then my favorite, which is question no. 9: "Do you have trouble concentrating?"

Really, shouldn't that be question 1 or 2? Because if I have trouble concentrating, I lost my focus well before I got to the ninth question.

But then again I am irritable and quick-tempered. So take the quiz. Or don't. What-freaking-ever.

They Say: Chill the Heck Out

Adrienne Martini — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Summer is here. Woo. In addition to scorching temps and hourly sunscreen applications, most of us suddenly have more kids underfoot once school lets out. It's enough to bring a mother (or father) down.

While my favorite form of kid-related stress release involves opening the freezer, sticking my head in and screaming very loudly, CNN/Parents magazine have ginned up a list of tips that may be more helpful. Or, at the very least, more socially acceptable.

If all else fails, just remember that fall isn't far behind.

Photo credit: body+soul

A Baby Might Make Naomi Campbell More Emotionally Stable

Jen Chaney — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:32:00 GMT

Now that you've done a spit take ...

Who knows if Naomi Campbell -- supermodel, cell phone thrower and woman most recently accused of assaulting two police officers after they removed her from an airplane -- actually said what I am about to share. But according to this item, she has been telling friends she desperately wants to become a mom and believes that taking that step would help her calm down.

Riii-iiight. Because having a child, as we all know, takes away layers of stress instead of adding new ones.

I mean, I know personally that nothing has made me calmer than dealing with a teething child who won't stop screaming. Or rushing to get to daycare before the joint closes and I start getting charged $1 per minute. Or fretting when my baby won't go to sleep at night and I can't figure out why.

Yes, that Naomi Campbell has motherhood all figured out. I just hope that if and when she does become a mom, she buys cellphones that are fully babyproofed in rubber. Oh, and that she never flies with the kid. Ever.

Photo: AP Via CBS News

They Say: Pregnancy Stress Can Make Your Kid Have Trouble Breathing

Jen Chaney — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:02:00 GMT

If you're pregnant and stressed out, here's some news designed to make you even more stressed: Apparently your excessive fretting c ould place your unborn baby at higher risk for asthma and allergies.

A new study by researchers associated with Harvard Medical School in Boston indicates that expectant mothers who experience stress -- over finances, relationships or other issues -- are more likely to deliver a child with elevated levels of IgE, an antibody found in asthmatic and allergic reactions. The study was conducted on 315 moms.

This new data only confirms what seems like common sense: Being anxious and tense during pregnancy can have an adverse effect on both the mother and her child. The question is, how do we women avoid that? We can do our best to remain calm and manage our worries. But some issues arise -- problems at work, a relative's illness, a spouse's lost job -- that are totally out of our control and will inevitably cause some amount of discomfort.

It's the classic maternal Catch 22: We know that stress is bad in pregnancy. But trying to keep that stress at bay can cause even more stress. One day, I'd love to see a study that proves stress is actually beneficial. And when that day comes, I will be the healthiest woman in town.

Son, perhaps you should consider a trade

Brett Singer — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:15:00 GMT

Not only is it impossible to get junior into that elite Kindergarten, once you do, the little rat won't be able to get into college. At least that's what the numbers are telling us this week.

According to the Wall Street Journal, Harvard admitted 7.1% of students who applied this year, down from 8.9%. Yale and Princeton showed some drops as well. OK, you say, that's the Ivy League. As Garfield might say, big fat hairy deal. But, in yet another example of why we really shouldn't listen to Garfield (especially regarding college advice), state schools such as the University of Texas are showing a similar trend.

Although The Journal reports that many high school students are "freaking out" about the news, I would like to remind children everywhere that Dr. Phil McGraw attended the University of North Texas, which, according to U.S. News and World Report, is a fourth tier school. And he's done pretty well for himself.

In all seriousness, I think it's possible to get a good education in a number of different venues, but it's undeniable that the Ivy League and other top-tier schools offer connections and resources that are sometimes harder to come by at other institutions. The other aspect of this is the pressure it places on kids, the ones who are "freaking out" because they may not get into the college of their choice. More stress is never a good thing. Hopefully this news won't make crazy parents who started obsessing over college while their children were in utero start to act even crazier.

Look at it this way -- you can use all that money you saved to take a really nice vacation.

image: College Planning Specialists, and webdesign-guru.co.uk

Easter Bunny Cracks, Injures Kid

Kelly Mills — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:46:00 GMT

Ever since I read "Santaland Diaries" by David Sedaris (highly recommended for being utterly hilarious,) I've been sort of fascinated by those folks who dress up in costume and pose for photos with the kids around the holidays. Think about it: What gets you into that line of work? Perhaps some people are so into the spirit of various holidays that they clear their calendars to become Santa and the Easter Bunny, but I imagine it's circumstance that brings most people into the job. And while Santa has some dignity, being a grown adult in a giant bunny costume and dealing with legions of sobbing children... Well, it's ripe for a "Falling Down" moment.

Not that I'm justifying the actions of this Bunny gone bad, mind you. Apparently frustrated with the photographer, a man playing a mall Easter Bunny decided to walk off the job mid-photo session, and put the nine-month-old who was on his lap on the floor. The baby suffered a forehead contusion in the process, and the man was arrested. The details of how exactly the child got the the floor are still unclear, but the guy could get two to 20 years for injury to a child. And he'll probably never work as a Bunny in any town again.

Weekly Check-Up: Your Stress Makes Your Kid Sick

Kelly Mills — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:32:00 GMT

Feeling anxious and depressed? Well, now you have one more thing to angst about, because a new study suggests parental emotional stress can make kids more vulnerable to illness. Like it is enough that stress makes you more likely to get sick, now your children have to be felled by the latest bug as well. I totally knew that stomach flu my kid got was my fault, I just hadn't figured out how I caused it yet.

Researchers based the finding on both reports from parents on instances of their children's sniffles and fevers and so on, and on measurements of immune cells in kids. The scientists admit that parental reports might be slightly skewed, but say the study still suggests a link. However, one stress and health researcher says parents shouldn't get too upset just yet, and that more longterm studies are needed because it's possible there aren't lasting effects. "I believe that children are highly resilient, and their systems are sufficiently robust to cope with this. Although it is a good study, parents should not let it worry them unduly." Especially because if you get anxious about it, your kid might get sick. Heh heh, catch 22.

Stress For You Might Mean Schizophrenia For Your Baby

Amy Kuras — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:02:00 GMT

Oh so many times during this pregnancy, I've come across a story that makes me want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

Aside from all the freaky stories about parasitic twins and two-headed babies my fellow Strollerderbians are obsessed with, there are all the "don't do X when you're pregnant" stories. Many of which I already have done (coffee, anyone?), and some of which aren’t even my own damn fault.

For example, undergoing major stress during the first trimester of pregnancy. Turns out that undergoing a traumatic event during the first few months of pregnancy can cause schizophrenia for your baby later in life. The study looked at women who experienced the death of a relative, or a close relative being diagnosed with cancer or having a heart attack or stroke, and found that the death of a relative during first trimester caused a 67 percent increase in the rate of schizophrenia.

Having a relative undergo a serious illness didn’t have the same effect, nor did having a death happen any other time but the first trimester. While we didn't have a death in the family, a close relative (who stresses me out in the best of times) was diagnosed with cancer shortly after I found out I was pregnant.

Researchers speculate that this happens because chemicals released in the mother's body in response to stress affect the fetus' developing brain in some way, and that the effect seems limited to the first trimester because the protective barriers that exists between mother and baby aren’t fully formed.

Gah. Whatever. I want my sterile isolation bubble.

Weekly Check-Up: If Work Stress Causes Heart Problems, Does That Mean Your Kids Can Kill You?

Kelly Mills — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 14:31:00 GMT

There's been this story in the news lately: Work can kill you. Okay, the job itself won't necessarily take you out (unless you are a professional stunt person) but the stress just might, since it can be a big deal for heart disease. The finding came out of a long-running study of civil servants in Britain called the Whitehall II Study (the first Whitehall Study included examination of the link between social status and mortality, and it was a big deal, and don't even ask me how I know about it, but I have a dark past.) Anyhow, the minute I got to reading this, I immediately thought, "What does that mean for stay-at-home parents? If your job is raising your children, are you at risk for a hurting heart?"

It's not far-fetched at all when you hear how the researchers measured stress. They asked participants questions about their job demands such as "how much control they had at work, how often they took breaks, and how pressed for time they were during the day." Well, golly, if I remember one thing about being a SAHM (for a hot few months, I detested it) it was that your day is largely dictated by nap needs and meals and poop explosions, all of which can change at a moment's notice even for the most rigorously scheduled of folks. That feels like a lack of control to me. I also remember there were very, very few breaks (any nap hours were spent scrambling to do other stuff) and that the day was always packed with things I needed to get to, like food shopping, and that I felt one step behind a ton of the time. Hmmm. Sounds like a heart diesase recipe, especially when you add the unfairly low level of job credibility you get as a SAH ("Must be nice, sitting on the couch and eating bon bons while the baby sleeps.")

Now, obviously I was not SAH material, and I can imagine (sort of) that the sheer joy of being home with a sweet kidlet or two might counteract some of the job stresses I listed. Plus you are probably much better at dealing with this stuff than I was. But it does make me wonder if we couldn't get a little more research on the stress levels of those who work at home caring for kids full time.

Pregcellent: Country Pays Price For Family Unfriendly Work Policies?

Kelly Mills — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 21:02:00 GMT

In the U.S. I think we tend to think of the individual toll of long work hours and lack of support for parents, like how stressed out and crabby we are trying to manage both career and family. However, we certainly aren't the only nation with a tough work ethic and lack of cost-effective childcare. In Japan, late-night meetings, expensive childcare, and the expectation of non-stop work are in many ways the norm, and this might spell trouble for the future of the country. In fact, experts say even the U.S. does a better job of supporting work-family balance.

So what's one consequence of the lack of help for 'rents? Japan is expected to report a decline in the number of births in 2007. And this trend is coupled with a population decline, leading some to speculate that the shrinking work force, rising number of pensions, and slower economic growth could mean big problems for the future of the country. The outlook for the future isn't good, and it's a reminder that failing to support families can have more lasting ramifications than a nation of bleary-eyed, stressed out moms and dads.

Strollerderby Playdate: A Little Appreciation

Kelly Mills — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:02:00 GMT

You know what's missing from my life? A little gratitude. I mean, I make the kid's lunch every day and listen to her neverending stories, I try not to yell, I do grocery shopping, I eke out not-quite-a-living writing so I can put day-old bread on the table, I smile cheerfully when I really wanna snarl...

Oh, yeah, I guess there's more than one kind of gratitude. While I'd like to get some appreciation for all the stuff I do, I suppose I could also be glad I have my health and people who say they love me and a good Prince CD in my car stereo.

So maybe my monogamous playdate today will be with Not That I Don't Love My Kids. Cuz she's harried and sarcastic and funny and yet finds things to be grateful for, like getting a poo offering from her kid. And it's perfect timing, because I find a torrid blog affair is just the thing when I feel unappreciated. Two birds right there, baby.

Pregnant Like a Girl: More Stress = More Girl Babies?

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:58:00 GMT

I have a lot of questions and opinions about fertility and miscarriage and women trying to conceive in the here and now. This is probably highly annoying to the women I know who've endured endless egg-producing shots and surgeries and hormones considering I got pregnant (padow!) on try number one. My only expertise is knowing a startling number of women who have gone through the unique stress of fertility treatment, and given all that they've gone through physically and emotionally, it makes me wonder how we are living today has impacted our bodies. It also makes me wonder how we are living today impacts our fertility and the fetus once we have conceived. According to some newly released research, stress of the mother plays a slight but measurable part in the sex of that zygote inside. Here's what it says:

Scientists studied 6,000 babies and compared their gender to their mother's stress levels at time of conception -- determined by her "sleep quality, confidence and ability to cope with everyday tasks" -- and found that higher stressed mothers were five percent more likely to have a girl child. This post notes that the most interesting part of the article (and I agree) is that fewer boys are also born during times of national and global upheaval, linking widespread stress to a small surge in the numbers of girls born. I read an article years ago about research connecting this to a natural survival instinct for human preservation, which fascinated me then and still does today.

Whatever biological intricacies are at work here, count me in awe. In a way that I hope is more empowering than further stressing, I wonder if talking about how our bodies respond to the way we are living can generate even more self-care and partner-care and community-care for women. I also rather enjoy the idea of having a smarty pants response when I hear my husband and other eye-rollable men go on about their Olympic swimmers and other conception (sigh) talents.

Guilt Source: Your Stress is Making Your Kid Fat

Karen Murphy — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 11:24:00 GMT

Me: Hello, Guilt Department? Could I have an update on things I'm doing that ruin my kid's life? I seem to have forgotten a few.

Guilt Department: Oh yes, we're always happy to oblige. Are you pregnant? Because there are extra Guilt Points if you are...

Me: No, nothing like that, I'm just checking in. I haven't updated in awhile.

GD: [testily] I see. Well, you know we have a policy of at least a monthly update on guilt-inducing activities. It's all in the agreement you signed.

Me: I know, I know. [brightly] Hey, can I add that to my Guilt Point total?

GD: Well, I'll let it go this time...

Me: Great, thanks! So what have you got for me?

GD: Well, the latest is a new study that claims that parent's stress keeps fat kids fat.

Me: Oh, that's a good one!

GD: That's right: if you're distressed about anything, it seems to impact your kid's symptoms of depression, which then naturally has a negative impact on his quality of life. Perfect, isn't it?

Me: [lost in thought] You mean, if I'm stressed about my job, or an argument I had with my spouse, or just in general about politics or world affairs or whatever, it affects my kid and makes him distressed too? Which means he's less likely to have a healthy lifestyle?

GD: Thats right. You'd be way to immersed in your own selfish depression to give any kind of decent support for your kid.

Me: Wow, that one sounds like so much fun! Can I sign up for it?

GD: Sure, I'll have to fax you the paperwork, but I'll add you to the program. Enjoy your guilt!

Me: Okay, thanks!