Strollerderby : satan

Parents Freaked Over Pro-Islam Doll

Jen Chaney — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 12:02:00 GMT

I am starting to think that some parents have far more vivid imaginatons than their children.

People in Oklahoma and Pennsylvana are apparently upset about the Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo Doll. Upset? Why, are these people anti-cuddling? Concerned about cooing? No. They claim the doll utters pro-Muslim messages.

Specifically, Fox News reports that the doll says, "Islam is the light." She also says, "Satan is king." Exactly what Satan's royalty status has to do with Islam remains a mystery.

The same Fox story also quotes one incredulous Okahoma resident who says, "There's no markings on the box to indicate there's anything Islamic about this doll." Now my guess is that's because the doll really doesn't promote Islam, or at least wasn't intended to. But let's play along for a second. Under circumstances that involved better labeling (and presumes that the accusations about the doll's rhetoric are accurate), what should the packaging say? "Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo Doll: She Sure Loves Allah!" Or how about "The Doll That Knows Satan Rules!"

In all seriousness, stores in Oklahoma and Pennsylvania have yanked the doll from their shelves. If there was indeed a product malfunction that makes her say things she isn't supposed to, that's may be the right move. But all this concern about "scary Islamic messages" -- not to mention the implication that celebrating the devil's awesomeness is somehow synonymous with being a Muslim -- is more than a little offensive.

Unfortunately, the manufacturer of the toy, Fisher Price, has referred calls to its parent company, Mattel. And Mattel won't comment on or clarify the doll's remarks. Meanwhile, some Cabbage Patch Kids have already tried to teach Baby Cuddle and Coo the first rule about doll club: You don't talk about Islam.

Image: MyFoxKC.com

"Satan" and 9 Other Bad (but real) Baby Names

Cole Gamble — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:00:00 GMT

As we recently learned with the New Zealand court case liberating the poorly named Tallulah Does the Hula to Hawaii from her cumbersome moniker, celebrities are not the only ones to dole out crappy names to their kids. Here are some awful names bestowed by civilians like you and me. And yes, they’re all real names.

Superman

Not a bad name, if you want to get beat up every day. This New Zealand couple (Again New Zealand, keep up the good work!) originally wanted the name 4Real, but NZ officials didn’t go for it. So Superman it was, arguably a more ridiculous name. Sadly I doubt this was the first time someone’s name was chosen purely out of spite.

Sh*thead

If you ever question how free we truly are in America, look no further then two parents naming their daughter Sh*thead. Now a grown woman, Sh*thead tries to mitigate the damage by insisting it’s pronounced Shi-TAYd. Nice try.

Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon

Apparently daddy was a holy roller.

Al Caholic

Somebody thought they were funny. But really, when you have the last name “Caholic” to work with, who could resist?

Roxanne Gravel

Get it? “rocks and gravel.” Cleverness kills a kid’s school career once again.

Felanie

A pregnant woman liked the name Melanie, but also like the idea of a name that starts with “F.” Viola! Felanie. It’s funny how you can’t see something so obvious until it’s too late.

Governor Bush

Seems a little short sighted now, doesn’t it?

Doctor Love

For once a novelty name might actually help a kid get a leg up in the world. Let’s hope he develops a passion for fur jackets and yellow fedoras.

Sloth Washton

Often people name their pets by characteristics they first notice about the animals. We named our first cat “Romy” because she liked to rome around a lot. Yes, newborns are a bit sluggish, but maybe Sloth’s parents should have waited a little longer before settling on that name. And this brings us to…

Satan

Talk about prejudging your child. I’ll admit, this is what I call my toddler all the time, but it’s just a nickname. Maybe the Australia couple who went with this had their hand forced because Australia was all out of the other names.

Heard any worse ones????

More by this author:

The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters

The 6 Creepiest Marketing Campaigns Aimed at Children
The Sh*t List: 10 Bizarre (or Terrific?) Potty Gadgets
My Name is Budweiser Bjorklund, What's Yours?
Nipple Jewelry: 5 Products Moms DON’T Need

10 Naughty Things We Do to Our Kids (but keep doing anyway)

18 Kids From One Vagina: Woman Births 18th Child

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

5 Ways to Keep the Kids from Growing Fat this Summer

5 Ways to Not Go Broke (with Kids)

What's Next, Shock Collars For Your Kids?!

7 Ways to Make Your Baby to Sleep Tonight

Book #666 of the Harry Potter Series

makeitadouble — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Each generation has had to contend with the dark whispers of Satan cunningly hidden in everyday items of popular culture. For my generation growing up in the 80’s it was the subliminal Satanic backmasking in heavy metal music that brainwashed and influenced many teenagers into performing immoral oftentimes self-destructive acts of deviance and depravity like getting to second base with your girlfriend, growing a mullet and a cheesy moustache and even wearing a white tuxedo to the junior AND senior prom. Evil, pure evil.

In the 70’s the Devil was pervasive as the “demonic child” in movies like The Omen, The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby and Herbie the Love Bug while in the 60’s he was disguised as Lyndon B. Johnson, but the children of the new millennium have to contend with a wickedness far worse than trying to match a red cummerbund to your date’s corsage or figuring out how to undo the damn hook and eye clasp of her bra with one hand.

In an article entitled “The Double Face of Harry Potter” published this week in the Vatican’s official newspaper L'Osservatore Romano, the Catholic Church and Pope Benedict XVI claimed Harry Potter is driving kids to Satanism. (Are we there yet? No. Are we there yet? No. I have to go to the bathroom. Well you should have gone before we left.) In fact, the Church went so far as to accuse JK Rowling's hero of encouraging young readers to become Satan worshippers.

Despite the publisher’s rebuttal reminding the Holy Pontiff and his congregation that Harry Potter’s long-running battle against the evil Voldemort is proof that he is a force for good, the article goes on to accuse Harry of New Age Spirituality that leads to an “unhealthy interest” in the devil. Is there a healthy interest in the Devil I’m not aware of? Perhaps something I can put on my toast in the morning that isn’t loaded down with all that fire and brimstone, something like “I Can’t Believe it’s not Satan”.

"We are told that... some things are not bad in themselves if used for a good purpose: violence becomes good, if in the right hands and the right people and maybe in the right dose.” The article reads, “Thus Harry Potter proposes a wrong and malicious image of the hero, an unreligious one." Right, because Christianity would never use violence to justify a struggle for a supreme cause. *Cough Crusades* Sorry, I’ve got a little hypocrisy caught in my throat.

When Rowling’s best-seller Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows was released last year the Vatican was quick to label her books as immoral and that they “...transmit a vision of the world and the human being full of deep mistakes and dangerous suggestions, even more seductive since it is mixed with half-truths.” A book about the imperfections of humanity that seduces people with vague promises and half-truths? That sounds really familiar.

Listen Vatican, nobody’s worshipping Satan because they read Harry Potter. The series has inspired millions of children who otherwise might not have picked a book to read, but not just to read to WANT to read. The books are about right over wrong, good over evil, standing up for what you believe in, being a true friend and yes, about wizardry, casting spells and performing magic. I don’t think we have to break out the Holy Water and start chanting “The Power of Christ Compels You” quite yet.

Unless you think it’ll help me unclasp a bra faster.

Have a Scary Merry X-mas Cuz Santa is Talking To YOU

Kelly Mills — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:33:00 GMT

I should've known I was in for it when I misread the e-mail to get a personalized video greeting from Santa as a "personalized video greeting from Satan." (As Mir from Droolicious said, ""Ho ho ho... why hello, BEELZEBUB! I remember you from last year... you live in THE BOWELS OF HELL, home of ETERNAL DAMNATION, and you turned FIFTY THOUSAND this year....") But in truth, the video greeting was more terrifying than anything Lucifer could have created.

You've heard of these? Using the magic of computer generated voices and video editing, you can get a video message for your child where Santa uses their name and certain key details to make the whole thing real special. Oh god, after the jump you'll see how special it can be.

See, Santa got my number on this one. And I'm very frightened. If you'd like to see what Santa said to me, click the link, but be forewarned. I am clearly not very emotionally mature, but while i was having some fun with this one I sort of ruined Christmas for myself. Now when I see mall Santas I turn and walk away the other direction. To avoid punishment.