Strollerderby : push present

Babble Talk: Expecting Presents for Being Preggers

Jen Chaney — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 21:02:00 GMT

Think women choose to get pregnant because they want to raise children? Oh, hell no. Turns out they do it for the gifts!

In this Bad Parent essay -- although technically, I suppose it should be a Bad Expectant Parent essay -- Jennifer Blaise Kramer writes about women who are obsessed with "push presents," the jewelry, handbags and other assorted luxury items that husbands are "supposed" to give their wives after they give births. Over the years, Kramer observed scornfully as more and more of her pregnant friends got swept up in the trend, flashing their diamonds with as much excitement as they showed off their newborns. But after a while, she suddenly had a change of heart.

"I started to think that such gorgeous gifts were not ridiculous, but fitting markers for a new phase in life," she writes. "Much like the wedding band is a symbol of marriage, the push present is a tangible way to document another major milestone."

I think she's right, but only partially. Getting a gift for your wife or partner after a major event like a birth is, as Jennifer says, a loving and lovely gesture. But the whole thing goes off the rails when one crucial word get involved: Expectation. Just because you're expecting, you shouldn't expect a gift. Period. Our husbands are not obliged to buy us sparkly things just because we decided (hopefully jointly) to bring a new life into this world. There's something sort of shallow and crass about that, isn't there? And as pundits and social observers keeps saying over and over again, shallowness and a focus on material things is out. Expecting a present post-pregnancy, I would imagine, will go right out with it, assuming it hasn't already.

Personally, I never even knew push presents were in. I am sure some of my friends received gifts after having their children. But I don't think they've ever talked about it. They have never exerted any peer pressure that made me feel like I should demand the same of my husband. And I'm certain they have never referred to them as "push presents."

Call me a spoilsport, but I tend to side with the woman Jennifer quotes in her story, the one who says that the only push present you should care about is the baby you just delivered. At a time when so many live in fear of losing their jobs and their livelihoods, now is the time to feel thankful for the gifts we have, not insist that we need additional ones to make us happy.

Never Ever Enough, Baby

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 17:38:00 GMT

If we aren't the best example of a culture obsessed with filling the gaping maw of materialism and greed, then I'll be a monkey's uncle (or aunt). What better example of all this than the push present -- that little something given to the person who pushes the baby out (fills out the adoption paperwork? worries the most?)

Personally, I received an incredibly touching card more beautiful than any diamond the day after my third daughter was born, so I'm inclined to believe expensive jewels aren't necessary (I was high on hormones and sitting on an ice pack. What can I say?)... but obviously not everyone agrees with me. Notably Tiffany's and Blue Nile...

Oh, and the couples featured in this New York Times story on the subject. According to the Baby Center survey highlighted therein, push presents are the not-so-secret desire of 55% of pregnant mothers. Advocates claim it's not just run away materialism or an invention of the jewelry industry, but an acknowledgement of the hard work and suffering that goes into bearing a child.

How could you argue with that? Well, for starters, rather than a diamond ring or ruby pendant how about the gifts that last a lifetime: Loving, doting, devoted fatherhood and co-parenting, a willingness to change diapers and get up in the middle of the night (sometimes for years), and financial and emotional support of new parents? Now those are presents worth fighting for...

How Many Carats is YOUR Labor Worth?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 17:02:00 GMT

Push Presents -- the trend of giving a woman a gift for "pushing" out her baby, seems asinine in the extreme. Far be it from me to denigrate another woman's desire for diamonds, but the trend of showering a woman with jewelry for giving birth to a child begs so many questions, I fear for the manhood of this generation. For instance, is 30 hours of labor worth more than only 20? If the labor is all natural is that more valuable than one requiring an epidural or c-section? What about birthing multiples?

It seems a nice card and flowers doesn't cut it anymore. But even as I scoff, I scour Tiffany's "Celebration Rings" (apparently a popular push present) and have to wonder if I'd have needed quite as much Tylenol with Codeine if my finger had been properly adorned with one of these sweeties. For the man who is less well-endowed (financially) there's always the birth diamond, which is "only" $575. And honestly, isn't that cheaper and more efficient than months of marriage counseling to address post-partum resentment?

But don't take my word for it... Listen to the promo of one of the sites pushing these presents: "This keepsake design will forever mark the most meaningful and significant day of a woman's life -- becoming a MOTHER")... ALL CAPS even.. But wait, isn't that what ~~stretch marks~~ babies are for??

Congratulations...it's a Diamond Ring!

aprilpeveteaux — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 17:45:00 GMT

Having a baby in New York City is already a competitive sport, if you buy into all that crap, but it seems push presents are the new Bugaboo. Now the rest of the country can gasp in horror (or envy) since the Today Show made push presents go national with their segment this morning giving helpful advice on how to find the perfect gift for your lady friend, with one special item going for close to $3,000. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get anything but unpaid time off after the birth of my daughter, but that’s another topic. While you’re waddling down the aisle of Tiffany’s or Fortunoff, you can now register for what you think your kid is worth. Or am I missing the point?

I don’t think it’s bald jealousy of the rich that makes me feel crazy about this concept. After all, I believe any woman who deals with hemorrhoids, going up a shoe size, nausea, migraines and swelling of the eyeballs followed by a bowling ball exiting through either her sensitive lady parts, or sliced and diced right through the ol’ abdomen deserves a round of applause. And maybe a trip to a day spa that accepts nursing mothers. But jewelry? Why does this stick in my craw? Should we sniff at you ladies who we believe are only doing it for the ice (yeah, right) or applaud Tiffany’s and Fortunoff for making it easier to demand your baubles?

Mother's Day Jewelry: The Worst Bling Ever

Kelly Mills — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 20:27:00 GMT

Earlier I showed you some ways you could go terribly, horribly wrong in the jewelry department for Mother's Day. But of course, things can only get worse. Here's jewelry that borders on punishment. Drum roll...

The "Grew in My Heart" Charm. Aaaaargh!

Where to start? Well, first of all, I'm pretty sure my baby grew in my uterus, not my heart. I mean, they are both body parts, but still, anatomically incorrect.

Second, this baby is creepy. It has a scary gold face. Its legs look like tentacles. And the heart looks too fat.

Third, this little beauty is advertised as "The perfect push prize for new mothers". I hate that term. As I have said before, the only push prize I ever wanted was a brand new hoo hoo. But now that I'm thinking about it, the heart just looks about as stretched out and misshapen as certain important body parts did following all that pushing.

As a side note, I am equally creeped out by the "baby's headband to bridal garter" gift advertised on the same site. Thank god I didn't get one of these at my shower. "Oh honey, just think, this headband fits around her head now, but someday her husband will lift up her skirt, pull it off her thigh, and throw it at his drunk friends!" Can you believe it is out of stock?

Have fun shopping.