Strollerderby : products

Baby Toupee Creator Speaks

Brett Singer — Tue, 26 May 2009 21:00:00 GMT

If you made something as dumb as the Baby Toupee you might think keeping quiet would be the best course of action.

But you would be wrong!

TruTV interviewed Graham Farrar who did indeed come up with the idea for a line of baby headgear. Not just hats -- these puppies have hair.

Here's a sample:

Q: Who’s your typical customer?
A: Nuts with kids.

What a card.

Now, I suppose if someone wants to buy this sort of thing -- you know, a "nut" with a kid -- go for it. Apparently Farrar's customer base is mostly reggae fans, since his Bob Marley-esque model (aka "The Bob") is his biggest seller. (One of my colleagues wanted me to say that she feels the jokifying of Black hair is racist -- anyone agree/disagree? Let us know in the comments.) And in this economy, I don't want to bash a small businessperson.

Yet, bash I must.

Personally I'm not a fan of this sort of thing. Babies are cute enough on their own. OK, maybe Halloween. But these wigs look kinda nasty to me. I picture baby food getting stuck in those fake dreads... excuse me, I'm a little nauseous.

What do you think? Cute, not cute? Irie? Offensive? A great big plate of who cares?

Source: TruTV Dumb as a Blog

Japanese Potty Training Video

3 Generations, 3 Boys, All Born May 11

12 Year Old Knocks Em Dead On Britain's Got Talent

Teacher in Affair with 6th-Grader to Host 'Hot for Teacher' Night

Australian Kiddie Show Star Appears In Laddie Mag

Baby Snuggie

Brett Singer — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 03:00:00 GMT

Sweet Christmas.

You are probably familiar with the Snuggie. It's a blanket with sleeves. It sort of looks like a robe. Here's the ad if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

The Snuggie has been featured in The New York Times, more than once. It was recently embraced by conservatives such as Joe the Plumber and Tucker Carlson. (The sad thing is I don't know which one of those guys has a better career at the moment. But I digress.)

So what's an entrepreneur to do? Well, in the words of the great Homer Simpson, take an existing product and put a clock in it. Or, in the case of the Baby Snuggie, a second head.

OK, now let's be specific. This product is actually called the Peekaru, from a company called TogetherBe. And I think it came out before the Snuggie. Can't tell.

Also -- don't care. Because when I look at that photo, all I can think of is the alien fetus thing from 'Total Recall'. Kuato. Remember him? (I'm not posting a photo for fear of offending any delicate sensibilities. If you want to see Kuato, and see how right I am, click here. But don't say I didn't warn you.)

One more thing from TogetherBe's website. If you click on "Learn more about the Peekaru™ today!" you get this page.

Opening for baby! Or Kuato. Whatever works.

Would anyone buy this? I mean, it's only 80 dollars. OK, OK, $79.95. Plus tax. And shipping. And possibly YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL...

Source: MomLogic

Jimmy Kimmel And The Octomom

Baby Einstein Wants You To Feel Good About TV

Surrogate Agency Disappears With Potential Parents Cash

Open Letter To The Woman Who Pushed Me While I Was Picking Up My Kid

TV Is Neither Good Nor Bad For Babies (unless they see infomercials, then it's very, very harmful.)

Infant Hair Protector Offensive To Bald People

Brett Singer — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 17:49:00 GMT

Once again, a real-life press release sounds like something out of The Onion.

Stay-at-home Mom Invents "Infant Hair Protector" to Prevent Infant Baldness

Yeah. That's what it says. I couldn't make this stuff up.

The product is the Baby Walton. $24.99 plus shipping and handling, available in blue, cream and pink.

Unintentionally funny is the "About" page:

What causes infant baldness?
During the early stages of life, infants spend a considerable amount of time sleeping. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends placing infants on their back to minimize the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Unfortunately, this practice frequently causes a bald spot to appear on the back of an infant's head, especially if an infant's hair and scalp are dry.

The inconvenience! Unsightly baldness caused by those killjoys at the AAP telling us how to prevent SIDS!

The site also makes that ever-suspicious promise to help your little one "regrow" their hair; I think that's because it isn't rubbing off anymore, not because the Walton has Rogaine in it. Even so, it still sounds cheesy.Why not just call it "Hair Club For Babies"?

Reminds me of the Thong Huggies parody from SNL. "I hate that unsightly bulge from my child's diaper!" Except that was a joke. This is real.

I know some people have entrepreneurial zeal. I think it would be better to look for something that is actually a problem, and then look for a solution to that problem. Or, in the immortal words of Homer Simpson, take an existing product and put a clock in it. Even that would be better than trying to convince people that "infant baldness" is an actual problem, and then selling them a piece of plastic for 25 bucks.

And what's so wrong with being bald? Huh? Huh? What are you trying to say? Bald babies are just as cute as hairy babies! Maybe cuter! Lots of people think bald babies look more distinguished! At least, that's what they tell me...

Why You Should Check Even Little Kids Homework

Woman Arrested For Breast Feeding At A Bar

Pregnant Woman Arrested For Fighting At Chuck E. Cheese

They Say: Smoking While Pregnant Makes Kids Aggressive

Creamy Crayons: Hot, Not or Just Plain Friggin Odd?

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 13:01:00 GMT

We get a TON of press releases here at the 'Derby and sometimes they leave us shaking our heads in wonder. A flak from a popular magazine sent in a release the other day touting "Creamy Crayons" as the #1 thing that moms across America happy.

Really?

Creamy Crayons?

I confess that I hadn't even heard of creamy crayons until I saw the release, and until I googled the term I thought they had something to do with Hello Kitty's most awesome product. So now that I know that creamy crayons are basically pastel paint stuffed into an easy-to-use tube, I am still wondering: Is this really the #1 thing that makes moms happy?

Crayola Intros Kid-Named Colors

Kelly Mills — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:31:00 GMT

In case you hadn't heard, Crayola has slid in eight newly-named colors to the big box of crayons. Now if I were them, I'd spend my development money adding some structural reinforcement the black crayon, since its frequent use means it's the first one to break in half and force you to do outlines with that annoying little stubby crayon. Ahem. Anyhow, the new color names aren't as descriptive as you might hope, and I think the whole kid-named thing is a sham.

So, what kind of monikers do we have in the box now? "Super Happy (yellow), Fun in the Sun (orange), Giving Tree (green), Bear Hug (brown), Awesome (dusty pink), Happy Ever After (blue), Famous (hot pink) and Best Friends (purple)." Uh, yeah. Naturally some bloggers have had fun coming up with alternatives. But my beef is this: While Crayola says they developed the names with online input from kids, you know these aren't the names kids would actually develop if they had the chance. Yellow would be "Pee Pee Head", green would be "Troll Booger", brown would be "Pants Crap"...and so on. Just call me a realist.

New Uses for Old Products

Adrienne Martini — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:00:00 GMT

The solution for younger-looking skin has been with us all the time! We've just been foolish and wasteful enough to throw it away!

No, beauty isn't a result of diet or exercise or positive self-talk. It's locked away in the placenta.

I know what you're thinking. I'm thinking the same think, even more so now that I googled for placenta images. But a Japanese company called Nihon Sofuken is marketing a new line of "drinks, jellies and face masks" that harness the healing powers of the afterbirth.

I have nothing against the placenta. They are great, placentas are. I just don't want to smear it on my face -- even if it has, as Nihon promotes, a "delicate peach" flavor and is technically vegan.

Rest assured, pregnant ladies. Your former organs will not be snatched up after delivery. The products are only made from pig placentas. I'm just not sure if that is more squick inducing or less.

Photo credit: dailymail.co.uk

Open Letter of the Month: Dear PR People...

Kelly Mills — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:35:00 GMT

Greetings PR people!

First, let me say I'm so glad you love the site, I appreciate that compliment. And I know your job can't be all easy, sending e-mails to bloggers and not knowing if you will be well-received or if some rogue is gonna mock the product or event you are pitching, though I suppose publicity is publicity. So let me just say a couple things and you can take or leave it, but I do mean this kindly.

First, I should warn you that I'm not such a fan of receiving e-mails that start, "Dear Mommy Blogger." I know many are fine with that term, but even my kid doesn't call me mommy (I'm "mama") so there you go. And believe it or not, we actually have real live men working here who have spawned children, and while some of them are better mothers than I'll ever be, it might behoove you to address your stuff using the more inclusive "parent blogger" or even (gasp) the name of our blog.

Same goes for products you think are a "mother's best friend" or "a boon to moms everywhere" or whatever. We like the dads here, and we'd like to think dads everywhere are participating in childrearing. Sticking with just the moms is limiting your market. Also, telling us your product was invented by a mom or moms is fine, but you should know that does not put you in the minority at this point, so it's kinda lost the selling power.

Now, some parent bloggers like it when you demonstrate you read the blog by mentioning a post or two. I don't care so much about that myself, but if you do plan to do this, double check your e-mail to avoid sending something that literally says "I like your post on x" because it wouldn't be the first time someone forgot to fill in the blank and it makes us all feel silly. The faux-friendly tone sometimes is a little grating too: I like it when you get to the point without pretending we snuggle each other. And it should probably go without saying that a somewhat sexist riff on a cleaning product or stereotyped site mommies will adore or a kit for clueless dads is probably not going to be well-received. I mean, send us things by all means, but some of this is just fair game for us.

Finally, it's great that Gwyneth Paltrow uses your solid gold rattle or JLo is gaga over your high thread count wipes, but that is not such a selling point for me personally. All it says to me is that you sent out free stuff to celebrities, and don't they already have enough free stuff? Now, if you told me you donated a hundred of whatever you are pitching to needy parents, that might sway me. Celebs? Not so much.

Anyhow, have a great day, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kelly

Suave Isn't Hawking Hair Products, They Just Wanna Help a Martyr Mom Out

Kelly Mills — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 23:00:00 GMT

First, thank you to Mom2Two for pointing me towards this ad campaign by Suave (I have Tivo, so I see nary a commercial these days.) It goes like this: Rapid shots of lady looking pretty, lady then in wedding dress, pregnant lady, harried lady-mom in assorted outfits, mom-lady looking a little haggard, mom-lady fixed up purty by Suave styling products. The campaign line is: "Motherhood Isn't Always Pretty" and the ad says "89 % of moms admit they let themselves go... 100% can get themselves back." Wow, and 100% of moms in my house got crabby when they saw this.

Can you imagine if this campaign was aimed at dads? Dads, did you let yourselves go? Would a styling product help you get "yourself" back? Because this is a theme we've seen like, a billion times: Moms are martyrs who sacrifice even their looks for their families. And so making yourself beautiful again through the latest cream or shampoo or surgery isn't a question of feeling the external pressure on women to be beautiful, or even swallowing what advertisers want us to buy, oh no--it's an act of self-love. It's getting in touch with yourself, the real you, the pre-family you, the you who can only be uncovered when you look hot.

Yeah, 100% of moms can get themselves back, just by using styling products. You tired from all that sacrifice? Well, there's this hairspray that will do what a living wage and quality childcare and affordable housing and a good educational system and real healthcare won't do. It will totally take the place of a community that raises children, saving families from the isolation that hits us hard. And on a personal level, being pretty will give you that sense of personhood and satisfaction you'd never get from a society that values motherhood and parenting in general and encourages moms to be people, not endless fountains of sacrifice. Yippee for my friggin' Suave shampoo. Now, could we get a new way of selling crap to moms? Because I can only be so strident for so long.

What's My Age Again?

Brett Singer — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 19:15:00 GMT

If you've ever wondered, "does anyone read the boxes and manuals that come with my kids' toys?" the answer may very well be, "no, not even the people who made the product."

Submitted for your approval:

The Everlast Youth Inflatable Punching Bag is just what you'd think it is: a punching bag that inflates. For a youth (or, as Joe Pesci said in 'My Cousin Vinnie,' yoots.)

But what age youth? Ah, there's the rub.

From the box:

And now, from the manual:

(Click each pic for a full-size image, so you can see that I didn't doctor these.)

Maybe the people at Everlast have taken too many shots to the head? (Thank you! Tip your waitresses!)

images: Amazon.com, my cameraphone and my scanner

Demeter Play Doh Cologne. Whatever Will They Think Of Next?

Patti — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 17:02:00 GMT

I'm a big fan of Demeter Fragrances, with their quirky scents that mimic almost uncannily what they're intended to mimic. Grass, Tomato, Laundromat—I've had several over the years, including Play Doh. Not that I've ever really dreamed of smelling like Play Doh, but it was hard to resist. And it couldn't smell more like the real thing if you actually rubbed Play Doh on your pulse points. It's really amazing.

Demeter makes other kid-centric smellgoods, including Crayon, Baby Powder, Birthday Cake and Bubble Gum. But I feel like they could do better. Where's Baby Head? Nothing smells more awesome, or more distinctive, than a baby's head. And have you ever noticed how little kids like to shove their blankets up into their nostrils and just inhale? I bet Blankie would be a huge hit. And what about Pencil Shavings, or Magic Marker? Those are two scents that just reek (sorry!) of childhood for me.

What do you think Demeter is missing from the many smells of childhood? Just don't say "poop". They're probably working on that already.

(via Geekdad)

Kitchenista: Poach Pod Makes For Eggy Cuteness

Patti — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 18:27:00 GMT

There's nothing inherently parenting-related about a poached egg. I mean, I'm a parent and I like them, and I have at least one kid who likes them, but that's about it. Right? Wrong, because now there's this completely adorable way to poach your eggs, not that you'll ever be able to try it out because your kids are guaranteed to steal it immediately and spirit it away to the playroom. Enter the Poach Pod.

It's a little silicone doohickey (that's the technical term) that looks exactly like the Bilibo, which is the coolest toy my kids have ever played with. It's a mini Bilibo for eggs! And maybe for Barbies!

Look, I don't know. I know you can poach eggs the old fashioned way, but...wet eggs *shudder*. You can buy a special pan for poaching, but...one more pan to store. These little guys just get tossed in the drawer until the next time Mommy and Daddy need Eggs Benedict in order to recover from date night. I'm enchanted by them, even knowing that I'll have to rifle through the play kitchen to find them when I need them.

(via designverb)

Crafty: Let Hello Kitty Inspire You To Sew

Patti — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:25:00 GMT

My general distaste for character-driven merchandise kind of trails off right at the shores of Japan, because that's where Hello Kitty lives. I'm a sucker for a mouthless feline, what can I say?

So I'm excited about this Hello Kitty sewing machine. It's well-priced, it's produced by Janome, a well-known and highly respected manufacturer of high-end sewing equipment, and if the Kitty didn't get me, the cherries would. It's definitely bare-bones (not a lot of complicated stitch types) but it's totally uncomplicated, perfect for a total newbie and ideal for a child, especially if you're not entirely comfortable using your own machine as a teaching tool. And it'll look adorable as it sits patiently on the table because you're too lazy to put it away when you're done hemming curtains.

There's a slightly, and I do mean slightly fancier model available, but I wouldn't say that the few additional features are worth the extra cost. Plus, no cherries. When you (or your kids) are ready for more power, you can go big.

I'm pretty sure I know what my kid's getting for her birthday this fall. Maybe she can start making her own damn Barbie clothes.

You Better Recognize: Mama Merit Badges

Patti — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:39:00 GMT

"But, but, but," you say, "But I get paid in hugs and kisses! I get validation when my little Schatzie cups my face in her grubby, sticky hands and says she 'wubs' me! I don't need any external recognition of my job as a mother!"

Well, that's you. Me, I'd like to have a nice crispy piece of paper that I could deposit into my shoe buying account every two weeks with "Bad-Ass Mama" scrawled across the memo line. In lieu of that, I'll take the whole damn set of Mama Merit Badges.

This is one of those totally purposeless ideas that to me, manages to come off as totally genius. I can't say if I'd actually wear them, but in my head, I've got a bright pink sash across my chest, full of patches trumpeting my many accomplishments as a parent. And I've earned every single motherfreaking last one of 'em.

(via Nested)

Green Toys Introduces Plastics Even Waldorf Families Can Love

Patti — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 22:25:00 GMT

There's not a thing wrong with a desire to bring the same consciousness to your children's toys that you bring to the way you clean your home, feed your family, and transport yourselves around town. And wooden toys are awesome, there's no denying that. But there's something to be said for a company that's both committed to ecofriendly practices and also pushing itself to explore the possibilities within those boundaries.

San Francisco company Green Toys is experimenting with bioplastics—you may already be familiar with the use of this starch-based material in plastic cutlery. As durable as traditional plastics, bioplastic's manufacture uses significantly less of our natural resources. And in addition, Green Toys manufactures its products domestically to further reduce the environmental impact that transporting goods from foreign factories has on the planet.

Due this fall, the initial product line includes classic creative playthings like tea sets, gardening and sand toys, and will be packaged in recycled-paper containers. Sounds like a no-brainer for thinking parents.

Kiddie Pools to Help End Summer With a Splash

Patti — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 19:01:00 GMT

We plan to buy a little pool for our kids as soon as we can settle the argument of whether it should take up valuable patio real estate or kill a big patch of grass on the lawn. It's...almost August. We may work this out in time to grab something crappy on sale and use it once before it gets too cold.

You, on the other hand, are probably in the market for a replacement pool already. Whatever you bought late last spring has probably cracked in the heat of the sun or developed a slow leak that causes a tidal wave after a half-hour of horseplay. So for you, Slate has reviewed some kiddie pools that you'll want to check out or carefully avoid.

How cute is that flower pool? I'd probably buy it even if it wasn't the highest-ranked pool in Slate's test. And if I could talk my husband into allowing a big flower-shaped dead spot in his precious lawn. Why yes, I am married to Hank Hill, thanks for asking.

Crafty: Moo Gives You Stickers From Your Flickr

Patti — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 18:58:00 GMT

First they came along with Moo Cards, and I haven't ordered any yet, because I'm really just that lazy. Then they came along with Moo Notecards, and I keep meaning to get around to that.

Now Moo, a company devoted to the art of helping you do interesting things with the photos you've uploaded into your Flickr stream, has made me an offer I'm going to find it difficult to refuse: the chance to make a book of stickers from my personal photo collection. Can you imagine the possibilities here? Scrapbooking, collages, decorating letters to Grandma, embellishing wrapped presents...and of course what my kids will end up doing with the high-quality vinyl stickers, which is slapping them in the middle of their foreheads and running around with a picture of Daddy on waterskis up there instead of a Chiquita Banana label.

Now, seriously: what the f*** is my Flickr login?

Gen X Nostalgia Behind Latest Toys, Movies ... Suckas

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 12:31:00 GMT

You'd be surprised at how long it takes me to catch on to things. (Then again, if you've been reading this blog for any measure of time, maybe you wouldn't be surprised at all. OK, fine. No maybe about it.) Still, I was quite shocked -- shocked! -- to discover that advertisers and Big Media companies were taking advantage of Gen-X nostalgia to pitch toys and movies.

"Nooooo!" you say. Yes. It's true. I kid you not. The Dukes of Hazzard. Miami Vice. The freaking Ninja Turtles, and now, the latest, the Transformers movie. Nostalgia explains it all.

I was trying to figure out why all these 80s hits were making a come back, and then I saw this article. Marketers are hoping to cash in on a rose-colored view of the 80s, and I have to tell you, it's working. The movies made millions. And then there's the products.

I recently bought my wife a miniature Lite Brite for her office -- because nothing says kick-ass lawyer like a Lite Brite -- and I also bought my daughter a cute little pink Le Tigre polo because it was, well, in front of me. Those pesky marketers might be onto something. Or I'm just the world's biggest sucker. I'm thinking the latter.

What Every Parent Needs: An LCD Wine Thermometer

Patti — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 13:29:00 GMT

Wouldn't you know it, it's a month and a half too late to buy this and call it my Mother's Day gift to myself, and a week too late to buy it for Father's Day and pretend it's really for my husband.

The Carl Mertens wine thermometer clips around a standard bottle and within a minute, you're informed of the bottle's temperature. It's cleverly marked around the band with different types of wine, so even a novice can't screw up and serve the Chard too warm or the Pinot too cold. Absolute genius.

I wonder if it works on baby bottles? Eh, probably not. But it's surely more useful than a damn wipes warmer. And I do have an anniversary coming up...

via Gizmodo

Riding Vacuum Concept Could Help Kids Earn Their Keep

Patti — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 21:29:00 GMT

Here's a vacuum cleaner your toddlers won't run from in fright: this concept design from Kristina Andersson is made for little kids to sit on and push around, cleaning up their own Cheerios for a change.

Unfortunately it's currently in the "pipe dream" stage of development, so you can't rush out and get one for yourself. But what to do with your mess in the meantime? A small dustpan/whisk broom combo is a good start; my three year old doesn't even wait for me to tell her to sweep up the remains of her breakfast in the morning. Cleaning up seems to be so much fun that I despair of ever teaching her just to keep the food off the floor in the first place. Maybe a riding vacuum isn't such a great long-term solution after all?

via Gizmodo

Kiddie Guitars for Your Rock Star Toddler

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 18:29:00 GMT

Lil E is only a summer away from being three. He is full of energy, songs and silly rhymes. He is way into music. I mean, booty-shaking, lyric-perfecting, cheesy-stage-smile into music. He is still devastated Gina was sent home from American Idol and he spends a good amount of his toddler-sized attention span on pulling the microphone out of the stand (well, actually...pulling the broken golf club out of the baseball tee, as it were) for his act.

Sure, he's into construction, talking about poop and sports, too. But music is definitely up there, which is why I let out a little eeeee when I saw these electric guitars made wee-size just for jam out toddlers like Lil E. BabyGadget's not too keen on amping up your kiddie instruments but I'm thrilled about the electric guitars. Necessary for pre-K musical development? Of course not. A way-cool chance for your kid to hammer out a neighbor-cringing version of Wheels on the Bus while you fill up hours of video camera tape to send ~~Star Search~~ your in-laws? Absolutely.

The miniature electric guitars have most of the same features as big-boy guitars but are created with a built-in amp so you're not in for buying loads of extra, expensive equipment just to get your child strumming and don't have to stress about your kid jumping off yet another platform surface. Since Santa paid $25 for an adorable little orange acoustic guitar for Lil E last Christmas, I don't even think the price tag - 60 pounds from this UK online retailer -- is that hefty. After all, we've all invested that kind of cash on plastic crap our kids haven't touched since they've opened and that offers zero chance for your child to earn back the cost in playing open mic gigs around the city this summer.

One Step Ahead Fills Me With Joy

Kelly Mills — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 16:33:00 GMT

Oh One Step Ahead catalog, how I love you. I cannot get enough of your ultra-sterile, extra-padded, money-sucking products. You truly have a way with the germphobes and the hyper-anxious among us. And just when I think, "Oh, they'll never come up with anything more ridiculous than that" you turn around and surprise me again. Thank you, OSA, thank you.

My favorite today is this giant grocery cart cover that offers "360 degrees of germ-free protection." Because parents don't have enough crap to tote around, and they absolutely need to cover every possible surface with something squishy and sterile. And it doesn't look ridiculous at all. I have no doubt that a shopping cart is a dirty thing, but I'd think a little wipe-down would be preferable to encasing the cart seat in a giant polyester pad.

Hey, shouldn't the kid in that picture be wearing special antimicrobial mittens and a space helmet? Negligent parents.

Punny T-Shirts = Bad Ties of This Millennium for Dads?

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 16:02:00 GMT

I love clever t-shirts. I love them for me, I love them for the kid and I even love them for the hubs (but, no dear, never all at once, never over-geeking to that degree). It seems like a quippy, political, retro or laughable t-shirt would be the perfect gift for Father's Day, especially for a kid to give dad or grandpa or one of those other male role models who really does not need another DVD of a movie he's already seen 400 times or gift card to Home Depot.

In this age of so many fathers who stay at home, work from home or work in places where drycleaner starched and pressed attire actually send him back down the old ladder of success, has the funny tee become the quirky tie of previous generations as the standard dad gift? And when so many holidays have been celebrated that the dad already has a drawer full of Sesame Street, A-Team and geek-love gear, where do you turn next?

Do you (gulp) go with the punny tee for pops? In order to avoid another laser level, do you dare tread into the deep waters of nature-inspired, wacky animal pun gear? Do you dare give him a shirt with a graphic of grizzly in a tie with a PDA that says (yes, you've already guessed it) "The Blackbeary" or one playing on (yes, the inevitable Star Wars pun is indeed coming) his Luke love with "May the Forest Be with You"? Do you dare take the risk that he might just laugh and even more terrifying, wear it? In public? Possibly to work? That he may want the "Kiss My Bass" or "Nice Axe" boxers? If you're fully prepared for each humiliating unravelling of your decorum and disdain for slapstick wit as soon as he unties the ribbon, then for God's sake please take these folks up on their offer of a 25% discount on all the moose and bear products you purchase for your baby daddy. After that, there's really nothing left to do but sit back and have a Beary Happy Father's Day, Dam It!

Bounce-House/Waterslide Combo. Seriously, What Dad Wouldn't Love It?

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 23 May 2007 22:01:00 GMT

My husband is the ultimate GeekDad. His latest obsession is filling our tiny backyard with some sort of climbing monstrosity that our kids will use four times and that we will eventually end up selling on Craigslist when we move. Which we will have to do because we rent. (I keep telling him...)

He scours websites for play gyms. He oohs and ahs over above-ground pools. (I. Know.) The Target summer catalog has been cracked open to a page containing waterslide/pool combos and sprinkler thingies ever since it arrived earlier this week. I am very afraid that the kids and I will return from our vacation next month to find some sort of princess castle/mountain climbing gym parked next to our barbecue.

Thank god he hasn't see this yet. Or perhaps he has, in which case, we're in trouble.

I know Father's Day is coming up and all, but he's not allowed to get this.

More Whackadoo Stuff From One Step Ahead

Kelly Mills — Mon, 21 May 2007 12:11:00 GMT

How much do I loooove the One Step Ahead catalog? Obviously, alot. Let's see what kind of "Baby's First Kevlar Vest" stuff they have for us today.

When you want baby to be the albatross around your neck: Hey, those car seat carriers get heavy! So the folks at OSA, worried about our "aching wrists or forearms" came up with a car seat you can sling around your neck. Because mommy really needs a herniated disc. Now your hands are free to help pull you along the ground as you are reduced to stooping and slithering by the weight of your baby carrier.

When learning to crawl or walk feels tantamount to skydiving: Okay, this is a squishy helmet for kids to wear as they take navigate around tables and other highly dangerous objects. Call me crazy, but I don't think this exactly telegraphs confidence to the child. Besides, if you are so determined to ensure your child doesn't suffer brain trauma during those tentative first steps, why stop at a helmet? A full padded suit is really in order here. But I like how the helmet is covered with bright pictures of race cars. As if any parent interested in the headgear would let their child even think "race car".

When every area of the house needs to simulate a padded cell: A giant inflatable bumper for the bathtub. That ought to be fun to blow up every bath night. Perhaps it's irresponsible to let your child use the big tub at all. Just bathe them in their infant tub until they turn 16 and run away from their sterile, foam-coated, primary-colored prison.

Cute! Shoes! I Must Have Them!

Karen Murphy — Fri, 18 May 2007 13:51:00 GMT

Oh, if only these came in my size... Have you seen the shoe lineup at Vincent? Billed as fun, fashionable, and functional, these adorable kid's shoes hit the Golden Shoe Trifecta right on the head. There are styles for the littlest pre-walker up to a child's 3.5 (conveniently my daughter Serena's size) and in everything from smiling rain boots to colorful sequined and embroidered mary janes complete with matching purse and little clogs with smiling faces that will look up your dress.

There's actually a real Vincent, and he's 9 years old. His uncle and partner decided that shoes would make a great baby gift when Vincent was born, and voila! a shoe store was born. Nice gift, huh?