Strollerderby : potty

Another Four-Letter Word My Kid Can't Say

JeanneSager — Thu, 14 May 2009 15:27:00 GMT

Carlin had his seven dirty words. At my house, we have an eighth.

Turd.

My daughter will not, cannot, should not say it. Nor my husband for that matter.

The word panties makes my colleague Madeline, get the creepy crawlies. But the four-letter T-word for poop just makes me wrinkle up my nose and gag.

It's not what it stands for - although, to be fair, I'm no more a fan of that than I am of the other "gift" left in children's diapers. But poop is poop. And I grew up in the land of dairy cows. We have our share of chicken farms. Trust me, I've smelled some of the worst of it.

It's the word that I find cringe-tastic. It's a noxious, base way of referring to something that we all know is pretty loathesome to begin with. That it's the kind of word you hear used derisively on the playground doesn't help. "C'mere you little turd!" will never pass as a term of endearment.

Yet, it's a perfectly average word. One that a teacher can hardly fault a child for using, one that many people drop into conversation in mixed company, at least into conversations regarding the use of the facilities. Banning my daughter from using it might seem to some to be extreme. I say it's no more odd than my parents' insistence that my little brother and I refrain from ever uttering the word "fart" (which my husband found uproarious when we first started dating - he'd say it just to get a rise out of me).

What are the commonly used (even on the radio) words that you won't let your kids use?

Image: PoopReport

Supreme Court Says Keep Cursing Off Daytime TV

Get the Stink out of On the Road Travel

JeanneSager — Mon, 11 May 2009 16:20:00 GMT

Ah, summer's almost here, and that means road trip time! And when you have kids, you know what that means: trying to find clean, non-scary places for the very frequent potty stops.

Problem solved.

The Bathroom Diaries rounds up the best places to pee all across the U.S. and a long list of countries around the world, with updateable lists for every U.S. state and a breakdown of who's free, who's got changing tables, and who's got a stinky potty.

Where this earns props over other bathroom stops pages is with the in-depth family details - take a look at the write-up on the McArthur Center mall bathroom in Norfolk, VA - someone cared to let us know they have a family restroom with "excellent space for nursing, and wide doorways allow even the largest of strollers to easily enter and exit. Extremely clean, well-lit, and safe."

A place where I can navigate the stroller instead of having to take turns with my husband over who's going to stay outside and watch over it even though we both HAVE TO go? I'm there.

So if you've got potty happy kids, you can map out your route to whereever with the help of the diaries, or you can make some notes on your way to and from and help a mutha out (and a dad too, for that matter - he may pee standing up, but he can aim better when he isn't holding his nose).

Image: ComfortFirst

Bag of Feces Sent Home in Kid's Backpack

JeanneSager — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:05:00 GMT

As Madeline pointed out yesterday, the word "panties," is shudder-tastic. I've found three worse words - at least used in succession, and when referring to the contents of a little kid's backpack.

Bag of feces.

Yup, a kindergartner came home from school this week with a big ol' bag of dung in his backpack.

Inside, his dad says, was a note from the teacher that read "This little turd was on the floor in my room."

What??? This child is five and apparently had an accident in the classroom. I repeat, this child is five. Accidents happen (come on parents, sing the Elmo's Potty Time song). For a teacher to make an issue of it to begin with shows she does not belong in a kindergarten classroom (or, perhaps, any classroom). Kids need to realize there's no shame in accidents and taught that they can always ask the teacher to use the bathroom. If this was a habit, the teacher might even be wise to talk to the school psychologist about the incidents, as elementary age kids whose potty training regresses are often displaying signs of stress, illness or even abuse.

Bagging it up and sending it home is particularly heinous because, let's face it, this is POOP we're talking about. Human waste. Excrement. Should I continue? The school says they're "looking into it," but I'd say they need to look at flushing this teacher out of their system.

What do you say, Babble readers?

Image: PoopReport

Get Their Pee Away from Me

JeanneSager — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 19:30:00 GMT

I'm one of those parents who extols the virtues of "eau de kid." So I was all excited to read Peter Hartlaub's ode to the odors of kids in the Poop this week.

Until I got to section two. Cheerios and pee.

Really Peter, you had to lay that one out there for the child-free by choice folks to throw back at us? Maybe it's the mark of a mom who was beaten down by potty training, but where I agree with everything else on Hartlaub's list, his assertion that "the faint scent of toddler pee can actually be kind of pleasant." just made me want to retch.

Yes, I know he was kidding (sort of), but let me lay out my own list of reasons the Cheerios and pee smell has apparently been WAY overrated:

1. My daughter insists on sleeping with at least five to six books in her bed every night so she can "read" herself to sleep. As a sign of her love of literature, I couldn't be happier. As a sign of what's to be thrown out at 2 a.m. in case of that (rare, but still) bedwetting incident . . . ick. Nothing says read me like Goodnight Moon with urine dripping off of it.

2. Although perfectly able to use the "big" potty, the lure of the small potty is big in my house. Like most potties for kids, it lacks a flushing function. It makes up for it with a lid . . . which is usually left open. The only other thing you need to know? We have a dog. Nuff said.

3. Accidents happen (and if you watched Elmo's Potty Time as much as we did, you are now singing the song), but wet undies can always be whisked away to sit in the middle of a pile of laundry that needs to be done . . . right in the center of the pile, where heat and urine meet. Yum.

4. Ever been peed on by a potty training toddler? I don't think I need to say anymore!

But Hartlaub has good news for all of us. They graduate to the suntan lotion/peanut butter/Play-Doh/bananas smell . . . and it smells gooood!

Image: Green Baby Guide

Would You Toilet-Train Your Child On National TV?

Kate Tuttle — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:59:00 GMT

Apparently, some producers think someone will -- and more intriguingly, that people will actually want to watch it! According to an item in the Miami Herald, a casting director is looking for families who would be willing to have their potty-training exploits chronciled on television as part of a new reality show. I guess the ratings for Jon & Kate Plus Eight, which frequently follows the goings-on in the Gosselin family bathrooms, must have prompted some TV producers to think people could get hooked on watching the process close up and personal. Personally, living through it once already -- and with another child waiting in the wings for next year -- is far than enough "reality" in my potty-training life. And as for allowing cameras to enter and follow the process at my house, that would mean I'd have to chase dust bunnies out from under our changing table, and that is not on the agenda.

What do you think: Would you sign up your kid? Would you watch someone else's?

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Mom Takes her Potty Mouth to Work

JeanneSager — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:30:00 GMT

I really gotta go potty. Which would be all well and good, but I just told my boss.
Actually, the exact words were, “I’ll do it in a minute. First I hafta go potty.” He wasn’t impressed. And I was more than a little embarrassed. Ever stop and realize your potty mouth isn’t the adult variety?

The comments on this Wall Street Journal Juggle article were your usual been there, done that, still have the pee smell on the backseat. It was the comment from a mom who’d dubbed herself “AllBoys,” that made me gulp.

“I cannot stand hearing grown women say, ‘Mommy needs to go potty now’,” she said.

Sorry, grown woman over here. I say potty. I say stinky and boo-boo. I also spend an inordinate amount of time with someone who won’t be allowed into a PG-13 movie for another decade.

Being a parent means dropping the cuss words – which can be eminently helpful in upping the professional image. But does our new vocabulary list put a target on our backs the size of Alaska? I’ll let you know what my boss says next time I ask if he remembered to say “thank you” to the guy who refilled the printer with paper.

Image: Ky_Olsen

If This Came With A Red Sox Logo I'd Buy It

makeitadouble — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Lately, the subject of potty training and changing time golden showers have been a hot topic here in the hallowed halls of Strollerderby U. Professor Murphy has outed herself as a Potty Training School Dropout (No graduation day for you. Potty Training School Dropout, missed your midterms and flunked pee and poo) while Professor Holler questioned the necessity of a super absorbent codpiece intended to thwart the little squirt’s little squirt during a diaper change. I even went so far as to extol the virtues of a Japanese potty training video starring animated tigers and a talking toilet as the denouement to any parent’s potty training efforts with their children.

Many parents get to a point on the subject of potty training where they feel like 19th Century U.S. Patent Office Commissioners mumbling to themselves that, “Everything that can be invented, has been invented” but then along comes a product that promises results and once again hope springs eternal.

Parenting products website Munchkin is tapping into the fanaticism around the Super Bowl and the NCAA March Madness to introduce their All Star Potty Seat with four cool sports designs to choose from; football, basketball, soccer and baseball. Yet aside from imprinted design on the seat making it appear to be a football, basketball, soccer ball or baseball with a hole in it, I just don’t understand how this seat is any different from any other potty training seat, how it makes potty training fun or how it makes potty training easy for all sports lovers. “Sweetie, do you have to go potty?” “NO!” “You’ll get to poop into the middle of a soccer ball….” “Then YES I do have go potty because that sounds fun and easy.” I just don’t see it.

However what I do see though is a missed opportunity to capitalize on what would really make this product fun and perhaps easy, but definitely fun and that is rivalry. Nothing drives sports more than team rivalries and nothing would be more fun for me as a bitter Yankee fan than to teach my youngest son how to relieve himself on the potty using a Boston Red Sox seat. Hell, I’d buy one for myself if they came in adult sizes.

Chicago Bears Fans, tell me you wouldn’t potty train your children using a Green Bay Packers Cheese Head. Hey Washington Redskins Nation, can I interest you in a Dallas Cowboy Star for your children to make “mistakes” on? Duke Blue Devil alumni would buy stock in training seats that resembled the North Carolina Tar Heels Ram Mascot.

If this product already exists though, someone please send me the link to the site. My son’s potty training age and pitchers and catchers report to camp in two weeks.

[Photocredit: www.munchkin.com]

Boy's Potty Pedal Makes Mamas Flip Out

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:02:00 GMT

Once upon a time, there was a boy child who so loved his mommy that he set out to make her life (or at least trips trips to the loo) just a wee bit more comfortable. After being reminded a mere "thousand times over the years" to gently place the toilet seat down to suit the sitters in the house, the boy child finally began to think of ways to focus his Talented & Gifted mind on the matter at (ahem) hand. Rather than memorize the steps - raise lid, go, replace lid, wash, flush, leave -- or even createa clever anagram to remember when and at what point to girlify the seat, the boy set out to inventing.

That's right, the boy inventor I am speaking of, children, is in fact Jacob Wulf, the 9-year old Iowan who has since been glorified on Ellen and in publications across the land. And to think, it is all because he came up with a special pedal to raise and lower the eluding (but eventually auspicious) lid. Jacob spied the foot lever on the trashcan in his doctor's office and the toilet troubles came to mind. Later, with the giudance of his equipment designer dad, he developed the idea into an accessory to raise and lower the lid simply by stepping on a pedal. A school contest entry and state fair display followed, and soon the press also stepped in.

Although the Privy Prop's patent is on pause and mass-marketing is not a possibility at this time ("because Mom said"), the happily ever after comes in the lesson learned: By taking a stand and putting one's best foot foward, a world of potty-goers can be impressed, and a household (not to mention one proud mother) can live contendedly together, one powder room and pedal step at a time.

Strollerderby Playdate: From Huggies to Depends; Who Needs Potty Training Anyway?

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 11:03:00 GMT

I've been thinking more and more about potty training recently, and it's starting to freak me out. Emmeline turns 14 months in a few days, and I remember another dad telling me there's a certain window on the near horizon -- a golden window, if you will -- that allows you to potty train earlier than most.

"Miss it," he told me, "And who knows how long you'll have to wait. Forever maybe. Some kids just don't get it. Ever."

Though this was his first child and though he admitted he couldn't change a diaper, I took his words to heart -- my mind filled with images of walking my daughter down the aisle and seeing the bulge of Depends through her white dress. I began to worry.

Dana takes a more nonchalant approach to these things, but she won't be the one on the floor with a bottle of Formula 409 and a roll of Bounty -- or whatever the hell you use to clean poop off the carpet. See? I'm woefully unprepared.

Thankfully, there's a few brave bloggers leading the way, giving us an inside glimpse into the process and making me wonder whether Huggies on a beaming bride is really such a bad thing after all.

Munchkin Pie has more evidence of potty training than you'll ever want to see. Seriously. It's hilarious, but only if you have a poop fetish. Be warned.

Booby Juice over at The Parenting Post is breaking out the supplies, getting ready, and holding her breath.

Whine and Roses is at least getting her little one on the potty, when she's not getting handed poop-filled presents. Oh joy.

Forbidden Pluto takes the prize for not only pooping in the shower, a favorite around these parts, but also for naming his daughter Lorelai. I will love him forever.

Tired of Changing Diapers? Try Elimination Communication

Karen Murphy — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 19:14:00 GMT

I admit, when I first heard about Elimination Communication (EC) several years ago, I was skeptical. Really skeptical. Okay, maybe I even said, "Ewww." After all, what was this about? Rushing to hold your infant over a potty, based on intuition and certain cues? I'm a big believer in non-verbal communication, telepathy if you will, and in fact I've communicated with my own children that way when they were pre-verbal, using it for instance to know when they were hungry or thirsty (and don't many parents do that? Think about it; I'm sure you have done this too), but, uh, the peeing and pooping? It's one thing to mistake "I want that block" for "I'm thirsty", but....the pee. And the poop.

But what about the diapers? They're expensive, and lots of people have issues with the bleaches and gels and dyes that kids are wearing next to their kid-bits for longer and longer periods now, judging by the ever-increasing diaper sizes that are now available (soon! In Extra Jumbo Jumbo! New retro designs, great for the dorm!), and aren't we filling up our landfills with these things, each one with a half-life of about 400 years, collectively containing enough ammonia and methane to increase global warming at least ten degrees?

So...should the hipster parent be thinking about having their babies go commando? Apparently, this concept is not new, nor is it confined to super-crunchy AP parents. Parents in many parts of the world who don't have easy access to disposable diapers have been doing this for years. According to this article, "for most [EC parents], it's another way to stay in tune with their babies, just as they pick up cues the child is hungry or tired. They emphasize that it's a process, not a goal of training a child within a certain time frame." Okay, but what about the parents who work outside the home? And what is this about holding a potty under the child while he nurses? And what about the split-crotch ~~panties~~ uh, pants for babies?

If you're interested in this concept, there is a wealth of information available about it, but be aware that the experts advise that there is a "window of opportunity" for beginning EC that only extends to about five or six months of age. After that, it's Huggies all the way. Sorry, Charlie.

Strollerderby : potty

Another Four-Letter Word My Kid Can't Say

Dad Fined $2,000 for Cursing in Front of Kid

Supreme Court Says Keep Cursing Off Daytime TV

Get the Stink out of On the Road Travel

Bag of Feces Sent Home in Kid's Backpack

Get Their Pee Away from Me

Sick in the Morning? Your Kids Will Thank You

Bag of Feces Sent Home in Kid's Backpack

Everyone Poops: The Movie?

High School Coach Fired for Appearing in Playboy

Home Birth: A Right or a Must?

Breastfeeding Debates: Just a Tempest in a Sippy Cup?

Get Their Pee Away from Me

Don't Call Her a Tomboy

Why Do Parents Cheat at the Easter Egg Hunt?

Everyone Poops: The Movie?

Would You Toilet-Train Your Child On National TV?

Mom Takes her Potty Mouth to Work

If This Came With A Red Sox Logo I'd Buy It

Boy's Potty Pedal Makes Mamas Flip Out

Strollerderby Playdate: From Huggies to Depends; Who Needs Potty Training Anyway?

Tired of Changing Diapers? Try Elimination Communication