Strollerderby : plastic surgery

Mom Spends $20,000 on Plastic Surgery to Look Like Daughter

KeriF — Thu, 28 May 2009 13:30:00 GMT

File this one under creepy.

50-year-old Janet Cunliffe recently underwent several surgeries to help make her look more like her 28-year-old daughter, Jane.

"I envied Jane's crinkle-free eyes, full lips and luscious, long blonde hair," says Janet. "I was desperate to look more like my daughter, but knew no wrinkle creams could ever wind back the clock that far."

So to help the clock along, Janet has had two breast augmentations, her eyes and nose done, lip injections, and hair extensions. The twice-divorced mother of two is now often mistaken as the sister of her daughter. The pair seem to love the attention.

"People ask if I mind that she's transformed herself into me, but I couldn't be more proud," Jane says. "I'm the one who helps her with her hair and clothes, so it's down to me, too. I can hardly accuse Mum of copying my looks when she gave them to me, can I?"

I'm all for women (and men) feeling confident with their looks and their bodies. I'm not opposed to plastic surgery on principle, but this just seems to go too far.

Here's Janet before the surgeries:

Here's Janet and Jane out on the town:

What do you think? Motherly love or inappropriate obsession?

Source and photos: Daily Mail

My Wife Says: 10 Reasons to Get Plastic Surgery after the Baby - Part 2

Cole Gamble — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:00:00 GMT

7) After the surgery, you can really milk the fact that you just had surgery and can't do much; therefore you get some much needed R&R and time to yourself.

8) If you have a significant other, they may tell you that you are still beautiful and that it is up to you to make up your mind about having surgery done. That is a lie. They DO love you, but don't want to insult you by cheering for plastic surgery.

9) Most men love breasts, and the way they do them now, they are so natural looking, and your stomach gets very tight. It will add so much spark to your sex life.

10) Don't feel bad that they are so turned on by the "new you". They've always loved you but now you're smokin' hot so they can't help themselves

Bonus Reason: 11) Don't let other women try to talk you out of it and call you shallow. If you are doing it for the right reasons, there is nothing wrong with gaining more confidence in yourself. Just because you're a mom, you don't have to look the part!

Back to Part 1

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My Wife Says: 10 Reasons to Get Plastic Surgery after the Baby

Cole Gamble — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Look, ladies. I’m not saying YOU NEED PLASTIC SURGERY. You look great. Never better. Amazingly you haven’t lost that pregnancy glow.

We good? Okay. There are some women, however, that may feel their body lost something in the baby making process. That’s certainly how my wife felt, which is why she insisted I write this post. During her second (and final, I assure you) pregnancy, Nicole vowed she’d be getting a tummy tuck. After the birth, she wouldn’t even let me see her stomach, but assured me it looked like a marsupial pouch. Some women’s bodies snap back remarkably well. Nicole’s skin is not so elastic. According to her, our children “ruined her.” I didn’t think so, but when it comes to plastic surgery, it’s a person’s own esteem that is the most important consideration.

Nicole is incredibly happy with her surgeries (she had breast augmentation as well as her chest looked significantly different after two kids). And these are the reasons, in her words, why you might want post-baby plastic surgery too.

1) Most doctors will let you on a payment program. You can also submit it to your insurance company; say if you’re deflated, flabby stomach is bothering your lower back.

2) Let's face it, there are a lot of women who have had babies and you'd never know by looking at them. But there are some pretty damaged bodies out there as well. Don't feel bad; be at least grateful that you can be fixed!

3) A breast augmentation can look very natural. They use silicone again and now put the implant under the muscle, so it’s your breast that you see. Get a teardrop shaped implant so they don't look fake. Your breasts will look great and not like dirty tube socks anymore.

4) The other invaluable surgery is a tummy tuck. A lot of stretched out skin is removed, but most importantly, they sew back your fascia muscle to look flat again. (You know the mini butt on your tummy? That is the fascia the muscle).

5) Many women, post surgery, have found that they look better after the surgery than they ever had before.

6) The procedures are a bit painful, but if you have birth or had a C-section, it is a breeze.

Continue to Part 2

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Musical SpongeBob Rectal Thermometer. Fun for Your Kid’s Butt?

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Mama's Got a Brand New Bag

Kate Tuttle — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 22:32:00 GMT

It's a common complaint, especially among new moms: things just aren't quite right down there. Childbirth can do a number on your lady parts, both temporarily (as in the immediate postpartum nightmare that is, as a friend called it, Frankenvulva) and, for some, permanently. But who would go to the extreme of a surgical solution? Apparently, hundreds of women would -- and a small but vocal group of women gathered in New York this week to protest such procedures.

According to an article in Time magazine, such surgeries -- which range from reducing the size of labia to "unhooding" the clitoris to "revirginizing" by constructing an artificial hymen -- are gaining in popularity, both in the US and abroad. But some critics wonder whether doctors are preying on women's vulnerabilty and ignorance of just how wide a range of normal there is when it comes to genitalia. And some have even questioned whether these procedures, hyped on shows like Dr. 90210, amount to female genital mutilation as defined (and condemned) by the United Nations.

Perhaps the most disturbing aspect is related to the link some have found between women who surgically alter their breasts and mental health. From the Time article:

And if research on another type of female plastic surgery is any indication, that post-op happiness may be short-lived. A 2007 study published in the Annals of Plastic Surgery found that 10 years after women get cosmetic breast implants, a disturbing trend emerges: they are nearly three times as likely to commit suicide as other women. With the even more intimate genital surgery, says Tiefer, the potential long-term consequences are troubling. "[Women] are projecting their anxiety about sexuality onto this one thing: 'If only I could get this fixed, then I would feel confident to be sexual,' " she says. "This is a complicated issue."

Complicated, for sure. But maybe the solution is as simple as a return to the '70s era staple of emerging feminism consciousness: the hand mirror exercise, in which a woman confronts her genitalia, makes peace with it, begins to love it. Because it seems to me the rash of genital surgeries are both symptom and cause of a lack of self-love. And for a new baby, nothing's more important than a mother who loves herself, scars and imperfections included.

A New Anti-Aging Miracle Treatment Made From Baby Foreskins

Cole Gamble — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:03:00 GMT

For just a moment, I ask you readers to imagine me as a pitchman on the back of an old timey wagon…

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to tell you we’re all getting’ older. Yessiree, why in fact you’re older now than you were when I started this pitch. Heck you’re even older now. And now you’re older yet. Folks, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to hold off the inevitability of aging and all the unsavory drooping that comes with it. That is, until now. Right here in my hand I hold what may be the greatest miracle invention on this earth since God invented the baby Jesus. Inside this seemingly normal bottle is a gen-u-ine fountain of youth. Yep, take a little dab and you’ll transform into a schoolgirl in pig tails once again. It’s called Vavelta and it’s the handy-dandy, superfied, bone-fide, quantified miracle cure to make you look young once more.

And how Mr. Gamble, you ask, do we know this miracle cure works? Why, my good folks, because it’s derived from the most amazing substance on God’s Green Earth: little baby foreskins.”

Okay, enough with the snake-oil salesman act. Let’s get to the nitty gritty. Like: How? Why? What?!

Like I said, the product is called Vavelta and it’s claimed to work better than Botox or any of the other conventional wrinkle eradicating products on the market. So where do the baby foreskins come in? Let’s ask Britain’s Daily Mail:

"Vavelta is a clear liquid in which tiny skin cells, called fibroblasts, are suspended. These are derived from baby foreskins donated by mothers at a hospital in the U.S. after routine circumcision. The mothers and babies are screened before the foreskins, which would otherwise be discarded, are used.
Once in Britain, they are divided into pieces less than a centimeter square and treated with enzymes to release the fibroblasts. These are grown in sterile conditions in labs. The process is monitored by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in the U.S. and by Britain's Human Tissue Authority."

(Suddenly writing this article has flooded my brain with foreskin jokes learned long ago that are wholly inappropriate here.)

The ladies who tested the product in trials say it’s a life changing miracle with few side effects. And it comes at a miracle price: $2,300.

So I ask you: women already inject fat and botulism into their faces, is this any weirder? And are you down with injecting little boy foreskins into your face for the sake of eternal(ish) youth?

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Personal Training for Vaginas

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 23:27:00 GMT

You know feminism has succeeded when the world’s first spa devoted solely to toning vaginal walls opens up in New York City. That’s right, ladies: now you can pamper yourselves with Kegel exercises and cosmetic laser treatments to tighten your vulva skin—because in the words of Dr. Lauri Romanzi, the innovative founder of Phit (Pelvic Health Integrated Techniques), postmenopausal women’s vaginas can become downright “scrotal.” Ew! Scrotums are gross.

Fortunately, for only $150 the charming Dr. Romanzi will give you a personal diagnosis of your pelvic fitness. Then she’ll prescribe a regimen of pelvic exercises that she prefers to call “personal training.” She may even suggest that you buy your very own electrostimulation machine to improve your pelvic muscle tone. (Don’t get too excited: they don’t vibrate.)

You may be surprised to learn that many medical professionals think “pelvic fitness” is nothing but a joke. While pelvic exercises are sometimes prescribed for women with minor urinary incontinence, several gynecologists interviewed for the New York Times story on Phit said there is no medical reason for healthy women to pursue a “pelvic fitness” regimen. As one white-robed naysayer put it, “The common practice in gynecology is we treat where there is a problem."

But Dr. Romanzi takes a more aesthetic view of preventive care. “If you can vote and you have a vagina, you should do these [pelvic exercises],” she said, leaving me to wonder: What the hell does voting have to do with it? I don’t know about yours, but my hoo-hoo could care less about politics. Maybe I should enroll her in a political science class right after her personal training session....

Photo: New York Times

Most Objectionable Book for Kids?

Kelly Mills — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:31:00 GMT

The American Library Association says the book the public objects to the most was one written for children. (Objections were measured by written complaints filed with a library or school.) Was it the one explaining mommy's plastic surgery--"My Beautiful Mommy"? Nope. The one where Curious George gets high on ether? Nah-ah. So what book was so offensive to folks?

The number one challenged book--for the second year in a row, no less--was "And Tango Makes Three," co-written by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell. It's about a penguin with two dads. You know, the gays are coming after your kids, one penguin at a time. Sigh. See, I'll get that book for my kid now, cuz I've grown weary of the way heteros always push their agenda in kid lit. Other books that made the objected list were: "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," by Maya Angelou; Mark Twain's "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn;" and Philip Pullman's "The Golden Compass," for anti-religious stuff. You know what books I object to? Those crappy little Disney ones that summarize "Cinderella" or "The Little Mermaid." They always have at least one typo and actually melt your brain with boredom when you read them.

Happy Mother's Day Fatso!

Brett Singer — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

If you want to ensure that the mother of your children – or even your own mother! – never speaks to you again, do I have some gift ideas for you!

Wii Fit / Brain-Age

Wal-mart is advertising the new Wii Fit game as a great Mother's Day gift. A German retailer is offering a gift package including flowers (good), a Nintendo DS (okay, if Mom likes games), and Brain Age to help mom exercise her aging mind (um….). So maybe get Wii Fit for your wife and the brain-training package for Gramma, right?

My guess is that this is only a good idea if you have ever wondered what it would be like to have a video game system shoved down your throat.

Mommy Makeover (Plastic Surgery)

Nothing says "Thanks for giving birth to our beautiful children" like a gift certificate for plastic surgery. Hey, why not get that pre-pregnancy body back the easy way? You look like hell, honey, and I really think you'd be happier – and let's face it, so would I – if you just bit the bullet and got a breast lift, tummy tuck and had that cellulite sucked out of you with a vacuum cleaner. Happy Mother's Day!

Or you could just get a necklace or something. You know, your call.

So, in all seriousness, did anyone ever get you a Mother's Day present that seemed inappropriate? Like, a bowling ball, even though you don't bowl (but your husband does)? Or have you ever given a Mother's Day gift that you wish you hadn't?

images: amommymakeover.com, stuff.co.nz

Kid's Guide to Mommy's Plastic Surgery

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 23:32:00 GMT

It has already been well established that women's bodies post-baby are utterly disgusting stretched out bags of goo. After all, the Mommy Makeover is big business and MILF-ism is where it's at.

Finally someone has written a book to help young children explain Mommy's bandages!

Author Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a board-certified plastic surgeon, wrote the book "My Beautiful Mommy" to help explain Mommy's new flat tummy and prettier nose. Assuming one is on board with teaching kids that women need surgery to be acceptable (because you aren't ok if you're not beautiful like a MILF), imagine the crop of young girls with eating disorders we're creating here. Imagine the straight boys who will be trained to hate any woman who isn't young, firm, and pretty.

Mommy makeovers are increasingly popular (the combination tummy tuck and breast augmentation), and the good doctor saw an increasing number of women coming into his offices children in tow. So writing this book was a service.

How else would one explain Mommy's inability to lift anything or her need to stay in bed, or her self-hatred?

What's next here: “My Very Trim & Pretty Mama” about a mama who throws up to stay thin? Also, what about all the fluffy Daddies out there? Don't they deserve surgery too?

Adult "Bimbo" Players Mad at Parents

Kelly Mills — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 22:33:00 GMT

There's no such thing as bad publicity, right? In the wake of the widespread hand-wringing over the Miss Bimbo game--hand-wringing I partook in as well--there's an article on how regular adult users are peeved because the site is now getting so many hits people can't log in. Aw, poor locked out Bimbos. And let's face it: After watching a few news clips, it's clear the site creators have been intentionally milking the media attention. I mean, they say ridonkulous stuff about how the game promotes good values because you can send your Bimbo to university instead of the more obvious damage control things like, "It's intended for grown-ups," and no one is actually that stupid, are they?

One irate Bimbo user says that only the worst parents ever would actually let their kids play the game, and that the controversy must be manufactured. While I'd never, ever let my six-year-old play, and I hope I'll be up on her internet activties for a while, I believe there may come a time when I can't oversee every site she visits, nor block every potentially problem webpage. But even after I wrote about the site, I started getting irked by the media coverage, screaming that children will develop eating disorders if they just look at the site. (If we did everything our avatars did, why there would be far more shootings and leaping over mushrooms and I would totally be a lead guitarist in a kickass rock band.) Yeah, I wouldn't ever want girls playing the game. And sadly, they can also learn about tramp clothes and crazy body image from their Barbies and Bratz; they can get the message that a woman is complete when she lands a rich guy from maybe 90 percent of the Disney catalog; and they'll learn about their movie and music idols getting plastic surgery and taking diet pills from any gossip magazine on supermarket stands. Miss Bimbo just happens to be an obvious collection of all that shit in one lame place.

Your Girls Can Be "Bimbos" Online!

Kelly Mills — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:02:00 GMT

Sometimes you see stuff and think, "Is this fer real?" When I read about the Miss Bimbo game, I kept thinking, "Oh, in a minute they'll say the game is for adults." But no, in fact the majority of the 200,000 players are between the ages of 7 and 17. But let me back up: There's a virtual "fashion" game for girls where they get a "Bimbo" and have to navigate her through boob jobs and diets and so on to make her the coolest bimbo of all. Girls can dress their dolls in sexy outfits for clubbing, and are encouraged to keep them waif thin through diet pills and plastic surgery. Niiiice.

Most of the accounts I read focused on the weight and cosmetic horrors of the game, but I personally was more disturbed by the fact that the bimbos are supposed to find a rich boyfriend so they don't have to work. Like, it's one of the goals of the game. Now that is just creepy. For god's sake, we don't even read "Cinderella" without some irritable commentary about how Cinderella ought to stand up for herself instead of waiting to be rescued. So the idea of having girls finding a sugar daddy through the game is icky. It simultaneously asks them to identify with and look down on the bimbos, and frankly, it seems strangely angry to me.

Here's the best quote from the game's creator: "It is not a bad influence for young children. They learn to take care of their bimbos. The missions and goals are morally sound and teach children about the real world." Frigging excuse me? But it goes on: "The breast operations are just one part of the game and we are not encouraging young girls to have them, just reflecting real life." Well, that's a relief. For a minute there I was worried. Yeah, these are totally the lessons I want my kids to learn. Why does it smell so strongly of misogyny in here?

Cosmetic Surgery for Down's Syndrome Baby

Madeline Holler — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:17:00 GMT

This feels wrong to me. But maybe I'm missing something. So, please, tell me why I shouldn't think that these parents of a daughter with Down's syndrome are superficial, unintentionally cruel and deeply, deeply in denial.

The mother and father of 2-year-old Ophelia Kirwan have considered sending their daughter under the knife to fix her appearance, which shows all the characteristic signs of being born with Down's syndrome as Ophelia was. The parents think her facial features will set her apart from her peers and keep her from being "accepted" by society.

No word on the girl's current level of acceptance by her own parents.

Anyway, it's possible this isn't as drastic -- or unexpected -- as it may sound, at least to me. Because Dad is a world renowned plastic surgeon and Mom has been surgically enhanced any number of times herself. Maybe this is how the family connects.

In the blunt terms of the industry, surgery would correct the following problem areas: "eyes slightly wide apart, flat nasal bridge, thin lips, tongue that sticks out, thick neck".

But why change her at all? Will Ophelia even care? Will she fool future bosses? And isn't facial surgery painful?

From the Daily Mail:

Her mother Chelsea said: "It just isn't right that Ophelia and others like her should be judged on how they look - particularly if they are turned down for a good job that they could handle.

In their defense, they aren't scheduling procedures anytime soon. Because how frightening and painful would that be for any kid? (Not to mention unethical.) The father said he'd make the decision if the toddler reached 18 years old and he deemed that she had been unfairly judged.

If the Kirwans go through with it, they wouldn't be the first parents to do so. Another London couple took their 5-year-old daughter with Down's Syndrome in for surgery. The couple debated for a year before their girl got the following alterations:

... her tongue was reduced to stop it protruding. Then, folds of skin were removed from the inner corners of her eyes to take away the "slantiness" characteristic of Down's syndrome. Finally, she had surgery to stop her ears sticking out.

These couples say they are motivated by love. But why does it seem like their motivated by their own vanity and shame?

I'm willing to be wrong on this, so tell me what you think. Am I missing the point? Aren't these kids too young? Do they care? Will this help end prejudice against people with Down's syndrome?

Mommy Tuck? (Where Do I Sign?)

Karen Murphy — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 12:34:00 GMT

Okay, show of hands here. Who's conflicted about the Mommy Tuck idea? See, on the one hand you've got your shallow babies-are-an-accessory mommies who can't wait to get back to their pre-pregnancy state, thus effectively negating their very parenthood, and on the other hand you've got what for some women is an actual, real (okay, maybe imagined by plastic surgeons, but real enough) medical necessity involving "laxity". Which to choose? Oh, and also (can I have three hands?) there's the thing that I sort of want that body the media tells me I want but I'm sort of ashamed to admit it. You, too?

Here's the medical thing: you know those things we call "stomach muscles"? Well, in some women, mostly ones who bore huge babies or were *cough* kind of old or had multiples or, well, whatever, for those women their muscles just don't ever go back to their pre-pregnancy state. Like, ever. Despite exercise and all. So it affects their posture, and apparently no amount of core-building Pilates is going to fix that. So the Mommy Tuck straps things back together and, yay! back to normal!

But here's the other thing: aren't we supposed to wear our Badges of Motherhood proudly? Flaunting our stretch marks and all? I'm confused about this. Which thing am I supposed to want?

It'd be nice if we could relax on the judgment about this. If somebody wants to drop $10K and spend 2-3 weeks recuperating and bear a humongous scar forever more but feels wonderful and beautiful because of it, I say go for it. And I'm just as supportive of the women who really truly love their bodies after childbirth, love what they become because of childbirth.

It's all good.

And I still sorta want one.

Photo: www.doctorc.com

Pregnancy Glow Replaces Botox

Madeline Holler — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:30:00 GMT

No judgment here, I'm just reporting the facts. On Botox.

Pregnant women are advised to end Botox treatments and fillers from conception to birth to weaning. But a hiatus from these face-enhancing treatments, for many people, means a face that goes back to its saggy, droopy, wrinkly self. One Hollywood Botox peddler would like to disagree.

He says the weight-gain from pregnancy -- and the woman's radiant glow -- do wonders to maintain the puffed and youthful look of a freshly treated mug.

"Pregnancy adds a natural glow to a woman's skin, and the 'baby weight' gain will make the face fuller -- this extra weight naturally replaces the effects of fillers or Botox in the face by filling in unwanted lines and wrinkles for the duration of the pregnancy."

You may not have a choice, in any case, since physicians are advised not to administer fillers to pregnant women, though there is not actual evidence that Botox harms a fetus. Though someday THAT, like soft cheese and hair dye, might be up for debate.

The good news is newborns can't really see. So there's at least one person who will love you no matter how saggy your face.

Is Surgery-Free Lipo Really The Answer To My Prayers?

Amy S.F. Lutz — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 21:25:00 GMT

2007 was a depressing year. With the release of studies suggesting that exercise does little to aid in weight loss, I was resigned to having to actually eat less to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Then I found out about lipodissolve, a series of injections of a chemical synthesized from soybeans called PCDC that really and truly dissolves fat.

Sounds easy, right? Los Angeles women certainly seem to think so. They're lining up to pay thousands of dollars for what cosmetic surgeons call a "miracle cure."

Naturally, there is a downside. No one seems to know what happens to the fat once it dissolves. Does it end up up in the kidneys? liver? muscles? Not even doctors know. And several women have reported complications following lipodissolve. Infections, lumps, that kind of thing. Maybe that's why it's currently illegal in the UK and other countries.

Still, it's a fantastic dream, right? A few shots, and presto! The bikini body I never even had before I had kids. I'll definitely be following this story.

Why Do Moms Have To Look Like They Never Had Babies?

Kelly Mills — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 14:29:00 GMT

The NY Times ran a story on the "mom-job": a boob job, tummy tuck, and lipo, designed to restore the postpartum body to its former, um glory. Our very own Karen is quoted in it, saying, "Those badges of motherhood have turned into badges of shame and, if you’re the one caught without a tummy tuck, then you won’t get invited to the party." And we don't need those stinking badges. Contrast that with what one surgeon says, "The severe physical trauma of pregnancy, childbirth and breast-feeding can have profound negative effects that cause women to lose their hourglass figures." Whoa now. All of the sudden my delivery and nursing experiences have been recast as a car accident. But while we feel the rising bile at the pressure on moms to look like their bodies never carried a baby, there's one question I keep coming back to.

What happened? I mean that. What brought about the relatively recent emphasis on moms looking, um, virginal in one sense and hot enough to be whorish? From hoo hoo "recontouring" to the mom-job to the thousand other messages that women must regain the post-partum body, and quickly, it seems like there's something special going on here. I mean, beauty pressure is nothing new, but looking at motherhood this way is. Did we get sucked into the MILF thing? Is this just enjoying a media moment? Is it the fault of those dang celebs? And how on earth did we come to view baby weight and stretch marks as a kind of failure or sign of personal weakness?

If you have any ideas, lemme in on them.

Working On That Hoo Hoo Could Hurt You

Kelly Mills — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 20:37:00 GMT

"Vaginal rejuvenation." Nope, it's not a special spa for the ladyparts, it's a term for surgeries like labioplasty and vaginoplasty, and apparently you can find ads for it in New York magazine. Surgeries, as Karen told you, that are supposed to make yer vagina look better and enhance sexual pleasure. You know, a little face-lift for the beard. But don't worry, the plastic surgeons are totally there for the moms: these surgeries are also marketed as "postpartum recontouring." Funny, while I adore stretched-out hoo hoo jokes, it never occurred to me to develop a complex about the li'l orchid. I mean, it was birth, not converting my vagina into a subway tunnel. That thing does have some elasticity. As far as looks, well, I like hoo hoos alot, but I have yet to see a pretty one, Georgia O'Keefe interpretations aside. And for the record, here we are talking about cosmetic surgery, not the sometimes necessary surgery to right a birthin' wrong.

But of course, there's a big problem with the hoo hoo remodel. Namely that last month, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists said, "Don't do it!" Here: "'These procedures are not medically indicated, and the safety and effectiveness of these procedures have not been documented,' the group said in the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology. Potential problems include infection, scarring and sexual pain, they said." Mmmm, sounds nice, huh? Because an infection and pain would totally make that vagina so much better. Look, even if you have serious angst about how your hoo hoo looks, I can't imagine it's worth going through surgery that could make it that much worse.

Post-Partum Must-Have: The Mommy Makeover

Karen Murphy — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:28:00 GMT

There's a new "mother's little helper" in town, and it isn't drugs. Nope, it's surgery and lots of it, because those badges of motherhood have turned into badges of shame and if you're the one caught without a tummy tuck then you won't get invited to the party. That's right, everybody needs a "mommy makeover."

As much as I acknowledge my own struggles with body image and secretly want the $30,000 surgery trifecta of tummy tuck/lipo/breast lift, it peeves me no end that something as drastic as surgery, as this blatant non-acceptance of one's own body in whatever shape it happens to be in, has become so pervasive.

So it's not the fact that women are flocking to plastic surgeons in droves for this sort of thing (the rate rose 11% for women ages 20-29 from 2005-2006) that bothers me, it's the fact that now it's sort of expected. Sure, we may poke fun at the extremes taken by the Real Housewives of of Orange County, but at the same time we want to be them, want the sort of surface perfection we see in them.

Oh, and here's the other thing that irks me. Its not only for themselves that women are willingly going under the knife in multiple procedures to re-create their bodies as if to proclaim they never had kids, but they are doing it to please someone else: the husbands. In describing one woman's experience: 'As for her husband, that's a no-brainer. "He loves it."'

Would you consider having surgery to erase the toll of motherhood? Or have you already?

Dayna Devon Chases the Dream: The Pre-Pregnancy Body

Kelly Mills — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 15:05:00 GMT

Extra co-host Dayna Devon has decided to get a tummy tuck. This is news because: 1) most of the time celebrities pretend they just did a ton of yoga, and 2) fine, it's not really news news, but whatever. Sue me.

Devon has a 19-month-old daughter, and she gave birth to a son in January. She needs the tummy tuck because, "I gained 24 pounds [while pregnant]. I still have loose skin."

Whoa. She gained 24 pounds? Funny, so did I. By my fourth month. When I went into labor I had gained... Well, take Dayna's number, triple it, and you'll be within spitting distance. When I told my fellow Strollerderby-ers that if 24 pounds gets you a tummy tuck, I ought to get three, Sarah said, "I also require three tummy tucks. Maybe I could get two of those and one boob job."

Devon's husband, Dr. Brent Moelleken, is a renowned plastic surgeon and apparently he wants to do the surgery. Devon says, "He would never let anyone else do it. When you're a surgeon, you're like the quarterback of the football team and can't stand to sit on the bench." I personally don't think I'd let my husband stick a knife in me, surgeon or no. Too much room for potential "accidents". He could warm the bench in gatorade-soaked pants all day long before I'd let that happen.

On second thought, it's a really good thing I'm not married to a plastic surgeon, because if I did get over my fear of him cutting me, I'd turn into the laziest slob in the world. See, my husband is a computer guy, so when I'm confronted with a technology issue I yell, "Honey!" instead of figuring out how to fix it myself. If I was married to a doctor, I'd have cake twelve times a day and use Hershey's syrup as a chaser. "Honey! I need new thighs again!"

Mommy "Nip/Tucks" on the Rise

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 12:01:00 GMT

According to a recent article in the San Francisco Chronicle, post-partum cosmetic surgery is a hot new trend among women who want their pre-kid body back. Moms are even going so far as to schedule tummy tucks and lipo suctions while pregnant so that they can be sure to get on their plastic surgeon's calendar.

Once these women decide that the baby they are having is their last, they seek to eliminate all traces of their baby-carrying days. Over 325,000 tummy tucks, breast augmentations, and breast lifts were performed on women aged 20-39 last year. Plastic surgeons have dubbed these post-baby packages "Mommy Makeovers."

Sociologists say the reason for the up-tick in these surgeries may be because of Hollywood influence, especially the emphasis (and totally misguided lavish praise) placed on actresses who loose weight quickly after pregnancy.

I'm pretty ti-yerd of hearing about how "slim" actresses look just 6 weeks post-partum, and how the priority is not on taking time out to bond and be a mother but on working out so people will still think you're hot. The frenzy surrounding how quickly women can return to their pre-pregnancy weight is sickening. Perhaps these women need to spend some time on this site.

[photo credit: Nip/Tuck]