Strollerderby : parenting tips

Amy Poehler's Parenting Tips

Amy Kuras — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:02:00 GMT

Typically, anyone who’s doling out parenting tips when they have been parents a whopping six months is, well, kind of a jerk.

Unless that someone is Amy Poehler, and then it’s just pretty funny. Here’s what she told the Daily Beast is her accumulated wisdom about the parenting gig:

“Always remember your kid’s name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don’t let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers…for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.”

She’s totally right, by the by – I have yet to met the baby or small kid who doesn’t dig a funny face.

The interview is a little lame, but Poehler is nine kinds of awesome as far as I am concerned. One of the funnier, totally dialogue-free sketches on SNL last fall (that didn’t have to do with the election) was a super mega pregnant Poehler making eyes at a guy across a bar, then getting up and attempting to dance seductively over to him (it’s funnier than I am making it sound, I swear). Anyone who has been nine months pregnant can understand how something as simple as getting up from a chair can be a major project at that point in gestation and how Not Seductive you’re feeling.

And further, I think she rocks for working – at being funny!-- right up until she delivered, just about. I could barely string together a sentence at that point, much less cough up a funny line. And now she has her new show, Parks and Rec, which got lukewarm reviews around here but I am going to try to catch. Funny moms rule!

Nintendo Parenting Tips

Amy Kuras — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:33:00 GMT

One of the conundrums of new parenthood is what exactly to do with this little person. I mean, little babies don't exactly do much. As far as older babies and toddlers, geez, there's only so much peek-a-boo a person can play, you know?

The answer, my friends, is in a video game. Not playing one with your very young children, mind you, using one.

There's a game for the handheld Nintendo DS called Sukusuku Kosodate DS, or Sukusuku Parenting DS that offers parents a whopping 176 suggestions of games to play with your young child.

Okay, it's in Japanese, and some of the suggestions are just very bad. Like, this bad. Like putting a sheet over you so you look like a ghost and chasing your child around the house (shown in the picture here). And um, based on the link I clicked through Siliconera, it's exclusively in Japanese. Which I neither read or speak, so my apologies if this is some overdue April Fool's joke or something.

One part of this that does sound cool – there is a database of children's songs included, and a place to jot down things you want to remember about parenthood. Maybe that I would use instead of the neglected "baby journal" someone gave me and hasn't seen a word about my son yet.

On the Road Again: Surviving While One Parent Is Traveling

Kelly Mills — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 12:30:00 GMT

I've got a little secret: sometimes I find it a little easier to parent when my better half is out of town. Sure, it's hard flying solo, but somehow being the lone wolf gives me the space to just do whatever the hell gets us through the day without feeling like Bad Mom. That means more movies, less laundry, and more strange dinners that can be prepared in two minutes (as opposed to the five minutes I lovingly put into meal preparation when the old ball and chain is home.) Mitch McDad has some nice workarounds and shortcuts for surviving while his mate is away on bizness. He calls it cutting corners. I call it sweet freedom.

Mitch's survival strategies include: a dip in the hygiene level, the use of fruit snacks as shower-buying currency, and a crash course in the mani-pedi. Oh, and bed-head. He says it better, so go unto his site and learn to get through the next spousal excursion with a minimum of bloodshed and insanity. And don't tell anyone that having your partner travel is probably good practice in letting go of the smaller stuff, because we'll all lose the martyr points that come from a week alone with the kids, and that would be truly tragic.

Being a Perfect Parent is Way, Way Too Easy

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 12:38:00 GMT

It's very difficult to find parenting resources that aren't full of cliches or hand-me-down instructions for raising children that could have been written by a parenting robot. So when a really great article comes along and illuminates some heretofore unforeseen parenting knowledge, I take notice. Finally, I think, something original.

So enter this article, which instructs parents on how to make the "most of playtime" and encourages them to let kids "explore." I've got to tell you, when I saw this, I knew my long search had ended. I had finally found the Holy Grail of parenting -- the Golconda of wisdom that will help the ages raise better tikes.

I hope you'll join me on this magical world of parenting tips that will help you raise perfect kids.

Tip No. 1 -- Get out of the house. Let kids walk barefoot. OK, with you so far. Sounds fun.

Tip No. 2 -- Turn off the TV and let kids play with non-electronic toys -- always a favorite activity in this household.

Tip No. 3 -- Ask questions. You mean talk to your children? Genius!

Tip No. 4 -- Allow mistakes. You have got to be kidding me. If I corrected my kid every time she screwed up -- well it'd be so often I can't even think of a simile.

Tired of reading the rest of the article, I decided to make a few of my own pointers for parents and was soon joined by the rest of the Babble staff.

Tip 475: We're too afraid of kids being hurt to let them cook over open flames anymore. Long live Kingston!

Tip 975: Kids are smart. They'll figure out how to work the stove when hungry enough.

Tip 321: Kids don't like being left in the car all day.

Tip 971: The Child Predator database is not a babysitter reference site.

The list goes on and on, and I hope you'll share your own tips that never, ever would have been discovered if you hadn't seen them in a crappy article.

Babblepedia: Useful (& Participatory!) Parenting Advice

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 29 May 2007 19:57:00 GMT

Introducing... Babblepedia, the parenting encyclopedia that anyone can edit. Articles cover topics ranging from anti-depressants to circumcision to work family balance.

You can participate by reading and commenting, adding your own personal experiences, or suggesting and linking to helpful articles.

Posts should be 250 word minimum and the person who posts the most by June 30th wins $1,000!

Babblepedia is based on real world parenting stories like yours. So join us for some fun!! Share your tips for breastfeeding, co-sleeping, picking a good nanny, or good first walking shoes.

Dadergency Beats Mom"ergency" Any Day

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:01:00 GMT

The concept behind the "Momergency Kit" is simple: If you're out and about, and the kids are freaking out, here's dice! Dice? Anything that can be cured with dice is not an emergency. (Unless you're in Vegas and that "sure thing" you were banking on ... never mind.)

Rachael just added a few of her favorite things to the kit for her own emergencies -- a flask, lube and a stuffed giraffe -- and despite the awesomeness of the images floating around my head, I don't think she went far enough.

So here's what's in the Dadergency Kit -- everthing Rachael mentioned (except the stuffed giraffe, because that's just weird. Even for me.), along with a stun gun, a six pack, a nanny, babysitter, a recliner and a 64-inch high definition TV.

Because really, if the kids are freaking out and you're at your wits end, are you really going to reach for dice? Please. With the Dadergency Kit, you just need to open the nanny pocket and then enjoy your favorite show.

Lock Away the Kids and Try the "Wall Kiss" ... If You Dare

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 19:57:00 GMT

By now you've blackmailed an unsuspecting teenager into babysitting. You've made dinner reservations. Maybe you've bought some jewelry, some roses, a bottle of wine. You're ready to spend some quality time with your spouse while your kids get high on sugar and late-night TV. You're ready for Valentine's Day ... at least you thought so.

Mom blogger Susie J. recounts the so many ways I don't know how to say I love you. "Behind the Veil" -- a kiss that involves a sandbox. The wall kiss, movie star kiss, the hot breath kiss, cherry kiss, mafia kiss. I need to start renting better porn or go back to middle school, because none of these are ringing any bells.

That's not to say I don't know a few of my own. Parenting provides fertile ground, so to speak, for a wide range of kisses:

The middle-of-the-night feeding kiss -- which usually lands on the forehead or elbow, as your spouse rolls over for another hour of precious sleep while you trudge into the nursery.

The date night kiss -- a hurried, torrid coupling before you drive the $15-an-hour sitter home. (The coupling is with the spouse, by the way. Get your head out of the gutter -- sheesh.)

The hall pass kiss -- a very quick peck on the cheek before your sprint out the door for a few beers with the guys.

I'm sure I'm missing more than a few. Any others?

Too Cold for a Jog? Run in Circles to Burn Off Parenting Steam

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 14:48:00 GMT

What do you do when it's too cold outside to take a run, yet your treadmill is on the blink? Radioactive Girl has the answer. Head down to your basement, deposit your children on a trampoline mattress and run as fast as you can in circles. Some may simply call that parenthood, that feeling of running in endless circles -- but I call it awesome. After all, she did a 7-minute mile! In her basement.

She says: "Running laps around the basement has an extra bonus. There are hurdles ...or remote control dinosaurs and a bunch of crap laying around, but they worked like hurdles. Although you feel a little like a mouse on a wheel running around and around, but going nowhere." Again, that sounds a lot like parenthood, but whatever.

I think it's genius. I don't have a basement, but the living room looks big enough if I got all Martha Stewart on it and rearranged crap -- although a coffee table hurdle might do me some good. I saw on the news last night that rain is headed our way next weekend. Who knows? I may follow Radioactive Girl's lead and dump the kid on a mattress while I make like a mouse and sprint happily around the room.

Unless, of course, there are better ways to burn off steam after a long day with the kids? (Get your mind out of the gutter, people -- I'm talking about exercise here ....)

Parenting Tips from the Street: Cheerios "Candy" Necklace

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 23:59:00 GMT

I get some of my best parenting tips and ideas by watching parents and caregivers out in public. I've become an expert at pretending like I'm not listening when really I am. My favorite line, "Hitting hurts other people's bodies," was overheard on the playground. I've also learned to admire ingenious parenting solutions from behind my dark glasses.

Which is exactly why when I saw a faux-candy necklace made out of Cheerios today, I knew I had to shout it from the rooftops to parents everywhere. It was exactly as I described: a length of twine strung with Cheerios hung around the neck of a very content toddler. Would you leave your toddler alone with this contraption? No. But for a walk around the block or to keep a kid occupied at IKEA (where I was)? Brrrrrrrilliant.