Strollerderby : pain

5 Lies Women Tell Each Other About Pregnancy

Cole Gamble — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:06:00 GMT

Mothers can be cruel, evil people.

Why else would they lie so flatly to would be mothers about the nasty bits of pregnancy?

Well Sarah Vine and Tania Kindersley, authors of the new book Backwards in High Heels, have had enough of it and so spelled out the worst lies passed around among moms and moms-to-be:

1. It doesn't matter if you get fat, the weight will drop off afterward, especially if you breastfeed.

2. The birth itself isn't that bad, and anyway your body is biologically programmed to forget the pain.

3. Breastfeeding can be a little tricky to start with, but in the end you'll get the hang of it.

4. You get used to not having as much sleep as you used to.

5. The experience of looking after a newborn can really bring two people together.

What did they miss?

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The Painful Reason Bullies Bully

Kelly Mills — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 18:27:00 GMT

There's an idea that kids who bully lack empathy or simply don't feel for their victims. But a new study indicates the truth might be more disturbing than that. Researchers took an admittedly small sample of eight boys, ages 16 to 18, with aggressive conduct disorder, and a group of eight adolescent boys with no obvious aggressive behavior. They showed both groups video footage of someone inflicting pain on another person, and used MRI to track the brain patterns of both groups.

What they found was pretty creepy: The boys with aggressive conduct disorder showed high activity in two areas of the brain that regulate pleasure, but less activity in the region involved in self-regulation. In other words, the bully group actually derived pleasure from seeing others in pain. This might seem somewhat obvious, but it does counter the theory that bullies simply feel nothing towards their victims. In fact, they may just get off on hurting others.

The researchers say more investigation with a larger sample is in order. However, they were impressed by the striking difference in brain activity between the two groups of kids. And boy, am I grateful I'm not in high school any more--though I've met some adults who probably fit this description as well.

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Pain in Childbirth May Be, Well, Pointless Now?

Kelly Mills — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Hmmm, this is real interesting. Some natural childbirth advocates suggest that the pain in childbirth adds something valuable to the birth process, helping mothers bond with their babies and even bringing um, sexual pleasure (in some cases, but not mine, oh lordy no!) However, a study discussed here in Salon (via Jezebel) suggests that theory may be backwards. Instead, labor and delivery pain might have served to signal to the mother that she should seek assistance, and in fact drive her to desire "companionship and security" from others. From an evolutionary standpoint, this could have meant people who sought help and protection during times like childbirth and illness were more likely to survive. (Hey, if the degree of labor pain indicated individual evolutionary fitness, I would have totally had it made! Um, it doesn't, by the way.)

So, if pain has simply functioned to drive delivering mothers to seek companionship (personals ad, anyone?) then perhaps it's a perk we don't really need any more. And it could be that people are suffering without it serving any real need. Cough.

Okay, I'm sorry, but I like this take on things, curmudgeon that I am. I do think in some circles there's a strange sort of romanticism attached to labor pain, and even the idea of "natural" childbirth as being somehow noble or righteous. Buuut, that said, there are risks attached to the interventions designed to alleviate the pain of labor, and women should be informed of those as well before making any decision. I think the problem is that childbirth is so fraught with anxiety for so many of us---not only because it hurts, but because lots of us want to make the "right" choice for our babies and ourselves. Turns out "right" for me was an blessed, welcome epidural administered after I tried to go natural for a long time, but I would not think of telling you it ought to be the right way for you.

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Related on Babble:

Insufferable: Why do people talk about managing birth pain, not eliminating it?

Part II: A Guy’s Take on Why You Shouldn’t Circumcise (and Why You Should)

Cole Gamble — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:04:00 GMT

Okay, I’ve had my say so now it’s time to acknowledge the pros of whacking the little bugger off (the foreskin, I mean).

There Are Some Small Medical Benefits

Among the benefits are:

Decreased potential for urinary tract infection.

Increased possibility for penile cancer (although probability for penile cancer is remote for either circumcised or uncircumcised males).

Three times more susceptible to contract HIV from infected women. (Might want to give your son the condom talk, what do you say?)

Some Girls Do Like it Better

And some don’t, I might add.

Will Make Son Look More Like Daddy

Assuming daddy is foreskin-less as well. Their similarity, anatomically speaking, is something they can bond over, like when they play catch.

Circumcisions Don’t Hurt Like They Used To

For months leading up to our boy’s circumcision (yes, my wife won) I feared the sound of betrayed wailing that would come from my son as the doctor has is way with him and a machete. On the day of the procedure, I was surprised the find the operation had more to do with string than scalpel. There was a quick cut, a quick yelp and then the doctor put a nice Boy Scout knot around my boy’s penis, leaving the foreskin to dry up and eventually fall off on its own.

I have given you all I can. Hopefully you’re now armed to make an educated decision regarding your son’s penile future. The most important part to remember is it’s your choice. Not grandpas. Not your neighbor’s. Not society’s. It’s yours.

Back to part 1...the cons of circumcision

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A Guy’s Take on Why You Shouldn’t Circumcise (and Why You Should)

Cole Gamble — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:00:00 GMT

To cut or not to cut: that is the question. Any parent about to have a boy faces this quandry. In ancient times circumcision was a must. Lack of proper hygiene made foreskins a liability. This is the modern era, however. The old slice n’ dice routine is more choice than mandate. Some of you made your decision the second you discovered the sex of the baby. “I’ll chop the sucker off myself if I have to.” Some of you were a bit more hesitant. The same problem saddled my wife and I two years ago. One of us was very pro-circ (wife) and the other less so. For full disclosure’s sake, I myself am not circumcised and it doesn’t bother me one iota. So I laid out my case to save the foreskin. Here’s is what I told my wife:

Penis Styling as Fashion

Save the religious exception, most parents chose to cut because they simply think it’s a more fashionable look. The line I got from my wife was, “Girls like them better.” To which I replied, “You married me, didn’t you?” At which point she added, “Oh, but yours is…special,” patting me on the head reassuringly. Um, nice save. My father in law tossed in his two cents: “The boys in the high school showers will make fun of him.” “Oh really?” I said, “Well then my son can just say, ‘Dude, you’re the one staring at my penis.’” Face it, parents circumcise because they want their boy to be like all the others. They’re shaping their child to conform from birth. Is that what you want, a conformist? Do you want to a kid who is a genital sheep, or do want one who rocks the system with a penis with personality?

Great Names

All the euphemisms for circumcised are played out. Bald headed soldier. One eyed snake. Yawn. Think of a cut penis as a wellspring of inspiration for new names. Like “The Sleeping Bag” or “Mr. Turtleneck.”

Men with Uncircumcised Penises Have More Pleasurable Sex

Okay so you’re not giving a lot of thought to your child’s future sex life. Fair enough, but many experts believe that circumcision leads to lessened penile sensitivity because the foreskin is jam packed with nerve endings. It is even said that an un-snipped penis is better for the woman as well. Leave the foreskin alone and, believe me, your son will thank you years from now. Not that you would ever, ever, ever want him to.

Possible Surgical Risk

Any and all surgery (and circumcision is surgery) comes with risk.

It Is Not Too Much Trouble to Care For

This was the big argument my wife trotted out. “You don’t want to clean it everyday, do you?” Turns out you are not even supposed to touch the thing until the boy is three, and by then it pulls back naturally and you clean it just like you would a normal penis. So there, you penis scrubbing fanatics!

Read Part 2: The Pros of Circumsicion

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Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:28:00 GMT

I'm trying to make this a little less self-promotional than it will probably sound, sorry, but I've received a ridiculous number of heated emails from ~~crazy~~ concerned people about a series of pictures I took showing my 2-year-old daughter in the midst of a fall. It seemed like the perfect topic for another round of Babble Ethics, even if I come off like an unfeeling moron, which never, ever happens.

"Why didn't you stop taking photos and help her?!" screamed one person.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" barked another.

And I keep thinking, jeez, it was an 8-inch fall off a curb. Granted, the curb was a little high, but I knew she'd learn something from a little tumble. Not all curbs are the same. She has to watch her step. She has to be careful on her own. Her father is more interested in taking her picture than reaching out to her.

Seriously, just how protective is too protective? Should I have sprayed her in protective foam? Put out a few pillows?

This little scene began with me stepping away from her in a deserted alley to take a photo. She groped the wall for a few minutes and then decided she wanted to jump off the curb. She studied it, gauged it, prepared to jump. And I let her, knowing full well it was a higher curb than she usually encounters, and a goodly portion of me knew she may well take a tumble.

She did.

But then of course she got up, kicked the street with her toe, mumbled something about "mother fucking shoddy masonry work!" (or something like that) and climbed back up the curb to do it again.

Still, I'm left wondering: I can't be the only person who lets their kid try things out on her own, right? Or maybe I'm just the only moron taking pictures of it. I don't know. I do appreciate the concern but it also frightens me a little to think of what happens to kids who aren't allowed to make mistakes on their own. Or maybe I'm just being defensive. Sometimes I hate you, ethics.

Sugarcoat Your Sweet Baby's Pain

Madeline Holler — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 22:03:00 GMT

Researchers have found the best way to ease the pain for shrieking infants after a round of immunization shots isn't Tylenol or boo-boo kisses or anything remotely medical.

The best way by far is to give them a small dose a mixture you can make at home: sugar water (and a follow-up paci).

A study, testing 2- and 4-month-olds both before and after their routine shots, found that babies given a 24 percent sucrose solution and a pacifier appeared in less pain nine minutes after the shot than the babies given sterile water and a paci.

Nursing babies following the shots appears not to have been considered.

So before the next round of immunizations, don't forget the Kool-Aid, minus the Kool of course.