Strollerderby : names

Don't Let Your Kid Call Me Missus

JeanneSager — Mon, 18 May 2009 16:31:00 GMT

Listening to my daughter talk, you'd think my parents were the Duggars.

It's Aunt Jennifer this and Uncle Dan that. She has a lot of aunts and uncles. And yet, my husband is an only child, and I have just one brother.

"Aunt" and "uncle" are as much terms of respect in our house as they are of endearment. Acquaintances are Mr. Jones and Ms. Johnson, but anyone close enough for our daughter to actually learn their first name gets that extra moniker tacked on the front to distinguish them from her peers.

I thought this was pretty normal until I went south on vacation.

My in-laws introduced their friends to our daughter as "Miss Joan" and "Mr. Bill," "Mr. Floyd" and "Miss Martha." They were the type of people my husband as a kid would have called "aunt" and "uncle" if he'd grown up in our household. In his own, it was "Mr." and "Mrs." with a first name thrown in there.

I know other families would be shocked at the usage of first names at all, preferring their kids use mister and missus and surnames only. In our house, the deference afforded by the use of "aunt" or "uncle" is enough.

What do you do in your house Babble readers? Do your kids have a familiarity with your friends' first names?

Image: Not on the High Street

When Mommy Becomes Mom

JeanneSager — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:04:00 GMT

I never thought I'd be that sappy kind of mother. You know the type. She buries her face in old onesies when she finds them at the bottom of the closet and doesn't come up coughing from the scent of mold growing on super-old spit-up stains.

OK, I'm NOT that kind of mother.

But I am the kind who hates being called "Mom." I prefer "Mommy," thank you very much.

I just realized it recently, when my three- (almost four-) year-old stopped, looked at me and said "Moooom" in a voice that sounded almost teenaged. No, I decided, Mom is not for me. At least not yet.

As long as she is still saying "Mommy," we are pre-pre-menstraul, pre-pull that skirt down so it covers SOMETHING and pre- Lady, you may have been on earth for several decades, but you know nothing about life.

My colleague Madeline laid out the Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mother and all their male alternatives discussion last week, but I realized there isn't just one in most families. If yours is anything like mine, you went through at least two names for your parents, maybe three or four.

I'm still on the first name, and I'd like it to last a good bit longer. Call it a little girl desperate to grow up and a mommy desperately trying to hold on to time.

Image: Amazon

Are You Mom, Mommy or Mother?

Madeline Holler — Tue, 05 May 2009 13:28:00 GMT

Long story, but I was reading an email from Ann Coulter the other day. In it, she was mourning the death of her mom, whom she referred to as "Mother." She also brought up her dad, or as she put it, "Father." Of course I thought, "Sure, that sounds about right." This hate-mongering, sexist xenophobe with obvious attachment issues had to have been raised in an emotionally cold home, one in which the parents were referred to in the distancing and overly formal monikers: Mother and Father.

Ahhh, but my colleagues here corrected me. More than one of us at Strollerderby calls the parentals "Mother" or "Father." There's also a prevalent Mother and Daddy combo, which, we all figured, comes from somewhere in the South.

So now I'm wondering what other people call their moms and dads. And what our kids call us.

In my white-bread Midwestern upbringing, most friends used "Mom" and "Dad," except those who spoke a language besides English at home -- and even some of them went with Mom and Dad anyway.

My own kids call me "Mom" or "Mommy" (or when they're getting all snuggly/manipulative "Mama") and their father "Daddy" (though lately the 8-year-old has been employing the oh, so mature version "Dad.")

What do you call your parents? What do your kids call you? Did you tell them what to call you or did it just happen? There's nothing sadder than a mother trying to get her kids to call their father "Papa," but they'll only use "Dad." Has it happened to you?

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Photo: theodoresworld.com

What They're Babbling About: It's All Relative

JeanneSager — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:26:00 GMT

One of the best things about blogging are the varied looks at similar subjects in the news every week - just adding more to the conversation. Take a look at how we're related to everyone else in the blogosphere this week - and how we're not - in this week's What They're Babbling About.

After reading Hannah's post this week about the black girls showing preference for white baby dolls, a review of the new book "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla" is apropos. The book on raising black and multiracial children gets the full treatment at The Anti-Racist Parent.

Always bragging about your family tree that goes back to someone great? The joke was on you this week with Familylink.com's April Fool's e-mail claiming addressees had been confirmed as relatives of President Obama. - Salt Lake Tribune

Madeline's look at the names that aren't coming back went hand-in-hand with the April Fool's Name post by The Name Lady this week. Can you spot the fake? - ParentDish

I shared the secrets to the childcare tax credit . . . and Lil Sugar's got a question for you - do you pay your nanny taxes? - Lil Sugar

Shannon helped us hop into spring with her Peep show - now find out what it's like to pull a Mythbusters on Peeps. - CafeMom

Image: PeepResearch

Best of FameCrawler - Week of March 20th

Whit Honea — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Natasha Richardson - The Sad Story

Katie Holmes is Pregnant!

Remembering Natasha Richardson (Photos)

Watchmen's Patrick Wilson and Wife Expecting Second Child

Update: Natasha Richardson Declared Brain Dead and Taken Off Life Support

Natasha Richardson: One Last Faint Hope?

Octomom- Welcome To The Neighborhood, Now Get Out

Jade Goody's Obituary Already Published?

Natasha Richardson Funeral, Celebrities React To Her Death

Is Martin Lawrence Dead?

Natasha Richardson Dead

OctoMom Video Blog at RadarOnline

Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:00:00 GMT

I don't want to be mean here. I really don't. But I'm starting to feel sorry for Nadya Suleman and her children.

I really think she needs help. I don't mean financial help. Help from a doctor not named Phil.

In a new video blog posted exclusively at RadarOnline, she says "I want to be private." She means that she doesn't want people to know where she lives, because clearly she doesn't want to be, you know, actually private. "Being in the field I'm in, I know there's a lot of emotionally disturbed people in the world…I have trust issues."

She's not worried about anything, she's not overwhelmed. She's hiring help. The other moms are supportive, everything is FINE.

What?

You see her interacting with her children, who don't seem all that happy. The tape feels like an audition reel for a reality show.

Other highlights, in case you can't bear to watch the video:

-   New house, a rental. "I'm doing it myself," meaning no help from anyone. Unclear how it's possible to rent a 2800 square foot house with no job.
-    MSNBC says that the video "shows Suleman struggling to speak as one of her older six kids bites her, pulls her hair and slaps her in the face," but I didn't see anything terribly unusual. I mean, the kids don't look thrilled by the camera and are eventually ushered out of the room (presumably to a very weary grandmother, but you don't see that). Still, the kids' behavior looks like a kid trying to get mommy's attention.
-   This part I will just quote: "Suleman said her older children are already jealous of the octuplets. When a friend showed the kids a picture of their new siblings, 'they hit the picture,' Suleman said." Oy vey.

Also bizarre are her hand-written blog entries. In this one she talks about meeting Dr. Phil. (Because that's really what a mother of 14 should be thinking about.) By not typing her entries for her, Radar clearly wants us to see Nadya's nutty side. (Read the PDF file here.)

It's all fairly disturbing, actually. Hard to look, hard to look away.

Source: MSNBC, RadarOnline

OctoMom Says Denis Beaudoin is Not OctoDad

Gloria Allred Offers To Help OctoMom

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

"Angels in Waiting" Apparently Still Waiting

OctoMom Loathes Being Pregnant

OctoMom Rejects Angels In Waiting Offer

Brett Singer — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:05:00 GMT

According to RadarOnline, Nadya OctoMom Suleman has rejected an offer from the group Angels In Waiting to "provide her with a temporary new home for six months."

Angels offer was pretty sweet. According to Radar: "around the clock individualized care by pediatric nurses and other early intervention professionals for her octuplets and their six other siblings." This is in addition to giving them A PLACE TO LIVE. Remember that the house she currently lives in -- her parents' -- is facing foreclosure.

Gloria Allred is all red with frustration -- actually, I don't know if that's true but I wanted to write that. Sorry. We'll learn how she feels later today when the attorney to the weird gives a press conference.

I can understand not accepting help from people for various reasons. In this case, I think Suleman should take what she can get, especially since she's already asking for help from anyone who is willing. So why turn this one down? Is it that she doesn't like Allred? She also seems to be rejecting offers of help from Denis Beaudoin, who said he'd give Nadya some money even if he wasn't the father. Can she really afford to be so, you know, choosy?

Commenter FoxyMoxie (thanks for the tip!) says that Allred will discuss the "'disturbing' phone conversations" she has had with the OctoMom. I mean, will this thing ever end?

Source: RadarOnline

Gloria Allred Offers To Help OctoMom

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

"Angels in Waiting" Apparently Still Waiting

OctoMom Loathes Being Pregnant

Brett Singer — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:00:00 GMT

When lawyers represent mostly accident victims, we call them ambulance chasers. What about a shrink who only wants to talk to screwed up people who get lots of media coverage? We need a name for them. Oh wait -- there is one. Dr. Phil.

Yes, the man that Oprah unleashed on the world is at it again. This time he's chatting with Nadya Suleman. You know. The OctoMom! Where ya been, people? This is the only important news story in the world right now. Pay attention.

Here's a little video to whet your appetite:

Doesn't she sound like a delusional 'American Idol' contestant? It's not that you're single. It's that you're single, intentionally had TONS of babies, and have no way to support them. It's irresponsible. How much time could you possibly be spending with any of your kids, the six you already had or the octuplets, if you're always out doing interviews?

This quote was the one that got me:

When Dr. Phil asked her if she was addicted to being pregnant, Nadya responding [sic] saying, no, she absolutely loathes being pregnant and she looked into adoption after her third pregnancy.

She LOATHES being pregnant. So…why do it again? And again? (Reminds me of another Dr. Phil 'patient', Britney Spears -- 'Oops, I did it again / I had 8 more kids…')

And by the way. Of course you loathed being pregnant. You were pregnant with eight babies! That's like carrying around a Humvee in your stomach!

Having never been pregnant, I can safely say that I have no idea how it feels. But many of the women I've spoken to say that they do love it, at least at times. The baby kicking, the life growing inside of you -- that sort of thing.

Since I have no idea, I'll ask the moms out there -- did you "loathe" being pregnant like Nadya?

Source: EverythingOprah

Image: Me

Gloria Allred Offers To Help OctoMom

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

OctoMom Receives Death Threats

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

UPDATE: GMA Snags an Interview with The Octuplet’s Baby Daddy!

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

What Octo-Mom Is Spending The Money On

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

OctoMom Says Denis Beaudoin is Not OctoDad

Brett Singer — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:00:00 GMT

So you know that interview with Denis Beaudoin where he claimed to be the OctoDad? Nadya Suleman says that his pants, they are on fire. By that I mean he's lying, according to OctoMom. Suleman's new spokesperson Victor Munoz says that "Denis is definitely not the father."

What nobody is denying is that Denis donated sperm to Suleman on three different occasions. According to OctoPublicist Munoz, Denis twice "gave Suleman a sperm sample at home, which she held between her breasts to keep warm." Then a THIRD time, Denis "was brought to a fertility clinic after Suleman told him she had cancer and they were going to see a doctor." The sperm was placed directly into her womb, there were no embryos created, aaaaand… that's it. I'm done.

OK, one more detail. David Solomon is listed as the father of the oldest of Nadya's first 6 children, and Munoz says that there is one father for all 14 kids. But he won't confirm or deny that said father is Solomon.

Oh, and the hospital might not release the octuplets to Nadya. Seems they're concerned that she won't be able to care for them properly. So she called Dr. Phil. No. Really.

AHHHH!!!!

I'd call this a train wreck, but that's insulting because I kind of like trains. But I have to admit that I'm fascinated because there seem to be more details every other minute. It truly is… the never ending story.

Too much drama. Having kids is dramatic enough. Why include all of this other crap?

Source: ABC News

Image: Me, using Photoshop, using this from Amazon

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

OctoMom Receives Death Threats

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

UPDATE: GMA Snags an Interview with The Octuplet’s Baby Daddy!

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

What Octo-Mom Is Spending The Money On

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

Gloria Allred Offers To Help OctoMom

Brett Singer — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 19:47:00 GMT

Remember Gloria Allred? No? Lucky you.

She's an attorney with a knack for representing clients involved with high-profile cases, such as Amber Frey (Scott Peterson), and the family of Nicole Brown Simpson (O.J.). She also made headlines when she took the controversial stance of questioning Michael Jackson's parenting skills. (That was sarcasm.) She actually went so far as to request that California Child Protective Services investigate how he treats his kids. (That, unfortunately, is true.)

Well, the media-loving lawyer is back and she wants to help out OctoMom Nadya Suleman's kids. MomLogic reports that Allred has a "plan to 'provide for the medical and emotional needs'" of all 14 members of her brood.

Through the charity Angels In Waiting, Allred says that the family can receive the help that they need without relying on public funds, although they will need private donations.

While it's obvious that Allred is a publicity hound (there are other, less polite words one could use, of course), Angels In Waiting seems to be a worthy organization. (Note: I haven't done a lot of research into the group, just a cursory skimming of their web site.) So in theory there is a positive outcome from Allred's actions. Still, why not be a champion for children all the time? Why does it only matter when there's a camera around? The OctoMom story is fascinating, but it's also very sad. The last thing those kids need is someone else trying to get famous off of them.

What do you think – is Allred legit? Or should she, you know, quit? (Apologies for the extremely dated reference.)

Image/Source: MomLogic

OctoMom Receives Death Threats

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

What Octo-Mom Is Spending The Money On

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

Brett Singer — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Remember the movie "The Neverending Story"? Nadya Suleman is starring in a real-life version.

Every day, heck, every hour, there a new detail emerges. I have two kids and never have enough time to do the things I need to do. Suleman, with six at home and eight more in the hospital, seems to have plenty of time to do interviews with anyone who wants her. (Maybe we should take Shannon's advice.)

ParentDish reports that the OctoMom told British newspaper The Sun that she will not date anyone until her youngest child turns 18. (Does that mean all eight of the new ones? Or just the kid that came out last? The mind boggles.)

She also said that she "can't remember" the last time she went on a date. Um, Nadya? You've said that you met the father/donor of your numerous offspring at a nightclub. Did that not count as a date? Maybe it was Girls' Night Out. ("Let's go, GNO…" – or should that be GYNO? G'night, ladies and gentlemen.)

So no hanky-panky for OctoMom for the next 18 years, adding to the 8 years that she has already done without. I guess The Bachlorette will have to look elsewhere for their next star.

Her reasoning is equally bizarre. "Boyfriends? I think I'd have to be extremely selfish. I cannot maintain a social life and be a mother. To even take one percent of every night and devote it to someone else, a stranger, would be wrong. I have to wait for that until my youngest have left school."

Is there a point when a journalist is going to ask Nadya about the charges leveled against her by, you know, her own mom and dad? That whole "she doesn't take care of the six kids she already has" thing? I guess not.

Source: ParentDish

Image

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

What Octo-Mom Is Spending The Money On

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

OctoMom Receives Death Threats

Brett Singer — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 16:00:00 GMT

I'm no fan of Nadya "OctoMom" Suleman, the OctoDoc, and I particularly dislike her publicists.

But death threats?

According to ETOnline (and every other news outlet on the planet, because there is NOTHING ELSE HAPPENING IN THE WORLD), OctoMom and her kids have gone into hiding because of "several hostile telephone and email messages." The octuplets are still in the hospital.

Publicist Michael Furtney actually uses the term "undisclosed location" when describing where Suleman is. We don't like him.

Bottom line: I think that people who send a threatening emails or makes hostile phone calls to Nadya, or anyone else, are reprehensible and should be arrested (assuming those threats are illegal; I'm not a lawyer, although I have played one on TV, sort of – long story). At the same time, I imagine Suleman could have cut down on the number of hateful messages she is receiving by not doing national television interviews. Setting up a web site didn't help either. Just a thought.

SOURCE

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OctoDoc Under Investigation

Brett Singer — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:00:00 GMT

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine is investigating Dr. Michael Kamrava for implanting a heckuva lot of embryos into Nadya "OctoMom" Suleman.

The California Medical Board was already investigating the OctoDoc, and they had not made his name public. But as we pointed out yesterday, local news outlet KTLA interviewed Kamrava and his baby-loving patient in 2006. In her interview with Ann Curry, Suleman said that the same doc performed all of her IVF procedures. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

Dr. Kamrava allegedly implanted eight embryos into Suleman. According to reports, "No more than three embryos are considered the norm for a woman her age." So OctoDoc may have done something very naughty.

Is anyone else a little stunned at the speed this story is happening? It really feels like every day a couple of new details emerge. Sorry to be catty but I bet Nadya is loving every minute of it. Sad.

Source: ThisIsLondon

Image: SpiderVillian.com

The Poor Man's Angelina Jolie?

Ann Curry Scores Interview with Octuplet's Mom

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

Brett Singer — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:30:00 GMT

Turns out Ann Curry didn't get the first interview with Nadya Suleman, the OctoMom.

KTLA (Fox TV in Los Angeles) interviewed the alleged Angelina Jolie wanna-be two and a half years ago, back in 2006. They also spoke to the man who performed the IVF, one Dr. Michael Kamrava of the West Coast IVF Clinic in Beverly Hills.

The doctor's name hadn't yet been released since the California Medical Board doesn't identify sawbones that are under investigation. So while it's not confirmed that Kamrava performed the most recent IVF on Suleman, she told Ann Curry that she used the same doctor for each of her in vitro pregnancies. It's a "do the math" kind of thing.

More details:

- One of her publicists (she appears to have at least two although I can't quite tell) says that she receives about $500 per month in food stamps despite saying that she is not "on welfare." Suleman also gets federal assistance for three of her pre-octuplet children who are disabled. (One is autistic, according to a former nanny.) Of those payments, Michael Furtney says, "They are part of programs designed to help people with need, and she does not see that as welfare." Somewhere spinmeister general Sidney Falco is laughing. Hey, at least Furtney is getting his client some decent media coverage.

- KTLA has the names of her other six children: 7-year-old Elijah Makai Solomon (boy), 6-year-old Amerah Yasmeen Solomon (girl), 5-year-old Joshua Jacob Solomon (boy), 3-year-old Aidan Solomon (boy), 2-year-old Calyssa Arielle Solomon (girl, twin), 2-year-old Caleb Kai Solomon (boy, twin)

- Why is their last name Solomon? Because that's who the donor father is.

- Angela Suleman, Nadya's mom (OctoGranny, anyone?) told RadarOnline that "David Solomon was the biological father of all 14 children, but that [Nadya] refused to marry him," although David wanted to marry Nadya. Hey, why not? They have very similar names.

There are too many tidbits to include. For now, watch the video from 2006. There will be more to come, I'm sure.

Source/Video link: KTLA

Image

Ann Curry Scores Interview with Octuplet's Mom

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

Tripp Palin's Name Explained

Brett Singer — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 18:15:00 GMT

Curious about the choice of Tripp for Bristol Palin's newborn son?

Laura Wattenberg ("The Baby Name Wizard"), told the Chicago Tribune that Bristol wanted to go with a "tr" name to go along with her brothers Track and Trig. That's speculation, of course, but it seems like as good a theory as any.

According to Wattenberg, adding the extra "p" is unusual – Trip with one p is "more traditional," and is a "preppy-style nickname for a 'third,' like the popular name Trey." The extra p usually makes it a surname, says Wattenberg, like Linda Tripp. Remember her? Wattenberg says that Bristol "is doubtless too young" to recall the woman who secretly taped her phone calls with Monica Lewinsky. I can't imagine anyone would name their child after Linda Tripp, especially making the choice to shift a last name to a first name. Although I guess if you really hated Bill Clinton, that might motivate someone to do it. I'd probably pick "Star", after Ken, but drop the extra R.

I didn't really think about how my kids' name would go together, although many families do. Melvin Van Peebles gave all of his children names that started with M, that way the initials would always be MVP. And George Foreman named all of his kids… George.

Anyway, here's the deal with the name, according a naming expert:

- Bristol probably wanted to continue with names that started with "tr".
- the extra P is unusual.
- it's a preppy name
- it means "third", like Trey.
- the name was probably not chosen to honor Linda Tripp.

I really wonder if these baby name gurus are just making stuff up as they go along. But hey, it's a tight economy, and work is work.

So there you have it!

Source: Chicago Tribune

Image: Babble Via Reuters Via ParentDish

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Celeb Parents Give Kid Normal Name

Brett Singer — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

I guess I'm on a "let's point out the other side of things" jag. First it was vaccines. Now let's move on to something significantly less important: the names that celebrity parents bestow upon their offspring.

We make fun of those who name their poor children something bizarre – Bronx Mowgli. Ouch.

In the interest of fair play, let us give props – nay, let us give mad props, as the kids say (do the kids still say that?) – to Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber who named their son Samuel, with a middle name of Kai. Samuel! Didn't these people get the Celebrity Wacko Baby Name Handbook, which clearly stipulates that a child's first name must be utterly bizarre, and the middle name even more so?

Sammy's big sibling is Alexander "Sasha" Pete, which is equally regular, especially if compared to Bronx Mowgli, et al. So there you have it.

In all (semi) seriousness, a kid's name is important. Even if you grow up wealthy and have super-famous parents, at some point you'll have to go out and deal with the rest of the world. And being teased sucks. I also think – and maybe this is unfair – that if a name choice is particularly weird (have I mentioned that I think Bronx Mowgli is, at best, an odd choice?) that means the parents are weird. Does that bear out? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know any parents who chose to name their children something as extreme as Bronx Mowgli.

Actually, I take that back. Without naming names, I do know of a couple of parents who named their kids something weird. And yes – they are strange people. (Anyone who knows me and is reading this – it's not you.) Maybe there is something to this theory after all.

Source: Famecrawler

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Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 2)

Brett Singer — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

The Final Four! No, it's not March yet. This is the Final Four Celebrity Kid Names of 2008. Less exciting than college basketball, but hey, it's only December.

Here you go:

(You can read Part 1, with numbers eight through five, here.)

4. Ignatius Martin Upton
(son of Cate Blanchett and Andrew Upton)
This one isn't in the "that's not even a name" category, but it definitely isn't a great choice. The name "Ignatius" reminds me of Ignatius J. Reilly, the lead character of A Confederacy of Dunces. Ignatius (the character) is kind of a putz, to put it mildly. Still, not EVERYONE has read that book (although many people have) and there are probably other folks who were named Ignatius who were not putzy. And again, the middle name is good – Martin Upton actually sounds pleasantly British.

3. Bronx Mowgli Wentz
(son of Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz)
OK, this one is bad. And no middle name to fall back on. The only hope for little Bronx (sheesh! Poor kid) is if Ashlee and Pete come to their senses and change his name to something else. If that doesn't happen, Zowie Bowie (son of David) no longer goes by his given name; he's now Duncan Jones, although at age 12 he asked people to call him Joe. (His full birth name was Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones.) So lil' Bronxy can change his own name when he gets older. I'm sure Zowie Bowie sounded funny to ol' Dave in 1971, but he came to his senses later in life – his daughter with current wife Iman is named Alexandria. Lansky puts this one at #3, if I were making a list like this, Bronx Mowgli Wentz would be #1 with a bullet.

2. Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg
(daughter of Soleil Moon Frye and Jason Goldberg)
This one is bad, although I think Bronx Mowgli is worse. Again, at least the kid can go with Joseph. And while Jagger isn't exactly a great name, at least it's pretty easy to figure out who the kid was named after. Lansky really goes off on the former Punky Brewster this time: he says that he "had no idea that Jagger Joseph Blue was a girl" until he read the press release twice (twice! What nonsense. Bruce Lansky is a very busy man). Then he attacks the now-elderly Mick Jagger, saying that he does not provide an adequate role model "for a baby girl." (Bruce? Try decaf.) Then he says that "Soleil and Jason picked three names and couldn’t find one that’s likely to make their little girl happy," and caps off his mini-tirade by saying the following: "I find it surprising that a woman with two strange names…would pick three strange names for her daughter." I actually don't find it terribly surprising, especially if you consider the fact that Soleil's childhood had to be at least a little bit weird since she grew up on TV, and on a sub-par show at that ("Punky Brewster" isn't exactly "The Odd Couple"). Lansky does offer some useful info: "Soleil means 'sun' in French, so translated into English her name reads 'Sun Moon Frye'." Perhaps somebody's parents were smoking a little something when it was baby-naming time.

1. Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
(son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)
This is bad. Very bad. I think Bronx Mowgli is worse, but this one is really not good at all. Lansky focuses on what I think are pointless facts: that no one will know that, "Zuma is a beach in Malibu and that Nesta is Bob Marley’s middle name." If they did, would that make it better? However, Gwen Stefani is making big, big money – music, that fashion line, and endorsements, to name a few. So "I'm Gavin and Gwen's son" will probably go a long way towards dismissing the obvious name lameness. Maybe he can hang out with Knox Jolie-Pitt. They can console each other, each sitting on their own enormous pile of money, trying to decide how many women they should take home tonight.

Final comment: Obviously this is meant to be amusing. Having money and fame does not mean that a kid can't grow up screwy. But having money probably doesn't hurt, and let's face it – while a lot of these names are awful, most really aren't Pilot Inspektor-level awful. Not that it isn't fun to make fun of them. And let's not forget that having a funny name didn't stop a certain guy from becoming President of the United States. Perhaps one day we'll see the Bronx Mowgli Wentz / Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale ticket. Yes… we… can…

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Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 1)

Brett Singer — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

I want Bruce Lansky's job. I mean, the guy just sits around all day and talks about names. Not even deep etymological studies, although sometimes he goes there. It's really just baby names. As near as I can tell, this is a way to make a living. America is a wonderful country.

Anyway, Mr. Lansky has weighed in with a list of the Eight Worst Celebrity Baby Names of 2008. So from the home office in my, um, home, here we go:

8. Sunday Rose Kidman Urban
(daughter of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban)

This one doesn't seem that bad to me. At least not compared to some of the others. Maybe the kid starts going by Rose. Rose is a nice name. Sunday, not so much. Lansky says, "Apparently the name was chosen to honor a patron of the arts in Australia, but most people who hear or read the name will find it an odd choice for an American girl born on a Monday." Whatever, dude.

7. Honor Marie Warren
(daughter of Jessica Alba and Cash Warren)

Again, not that bad. Kid could use the middle name. Dad's name is "Cash." That's much worse. (Unless you happen to be a rapper. Then it's OK.) Lansky says that Alba and her beau will probably start using their daughter's middle name themselves at some point, saying "that’s why it’s so important to pick a “high-odds” middle name when parents pick a risky first name." Not a bad strategy I suppose.

6. Emme Anthony
(daughter of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony)

This time Lansky takes issue with potential pronunciation problems (say THAT phrase ten times fast), as well as spelling: "it’ll be misspelled ninety-nine times out of a hundred." Then he wags his virtual finger at the Lopez's (I say "Lopez's" because let's face it, Jen is in charge in that house): "That’s what happens when you pick an obscure variation of one of the five most popular girls’ names in the U.S. Emma would have been a much smarter choice." Except that this particular girl's name belongs to the daughter of someone who has made an enormous pile of money and is world-renowned. (Hint: she's married to some guy named Marc.) I tend to agree with Lansky that, when in doubt about a name for your offspring, go with the easier choice. That said, people get my name wrong all the time – one T, Bert, etc. Note to Emme: you'll get over it. I did.

5. Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt
(son of Three Guesses, The First Two Don't Count)

This name is odd. Lansky says that this poor lad will have trouble in school and will be forced to explain his name as, "Knox. As in Fort Knox." Yes. As in "my parents have more money than Fort Knox." Then he'll select one of the thousands of girls that want to date him and head over to the Viper Room in his chauffeur driven limo. Now I realize that money isn't everything. But it does make a dopey name a little bit easier deal with.

For the remaining four names, including what Lansky thinks is the worst Celeb Name of 2008, click here.

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The Celebrity Spawn Naming Game

SunnyChanel — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:30:00 GMT

Fall Out Boy lead singer Pete Wentz and his wife pop star Ashlee Simpson welcomed a baby boy to the family on November 20th. They opted to go the way of many celebrities before them and have named their child with a brand that could be considered totally cool or totally wack-ass. The name they opted for was…Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yup, Bronx as in the New York City borough and Mowgli as in the boy from the Jungle Book.

In celebration of their new addition, we’ve concocted the very handy NYC-Disney naming formula to utilize for the creation of your own alias or name for your newborn babe. Just like the ‘porn star’ name (middle name /street you grew up on) or the ‘stripper name’ (first pet’s name with mother’s maiden name) we present you with the ‘Celebrity Spawn’ naming game.

Think of the first New York City neighborhood or borough you can conger up, then your favorite Disney character and you’ve got your self a celebrity spawn worthy name.

Here are some examples:
Queens Woody
Brooklyn Hook
NoLIta Belle
Harlem Buzz
TriBeCa Tinkerbell
SoHo Pinocchio
Midtown Mickey
East Side Goofy (from our own Brett Singer)

Yes, you are welcome for the wonderful naming suggestions. You and your kid can thank us later.

Photo: Just Jared

Guy Changes Name to Captain Fantastic

Brett Singer — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:30:00 GMT

The Telegraph is reporting that a "teenager" named George Garratt has changed his name to – wait for it – Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. I think "The Flash Combined" is a Jewish name that means, "Please don't hire me for this job."

I'm putting "teenager" in quotes because the guy is nineteen. When did we decide that it was still OK to call nineteen year olds "teenagers"? Is it based on how immature they are?

Anyway, The Nitwit Formerly Known As George Garratt changed his moniker because he, "wanted to be unique." The thing is, Elton John already used the name Captain Fantastic, something the Telegraph article oddly doesn't mention.

The Captain's grandmother isn't speaking to him anymore, which seems a little shortsighted. If there's one thing this kid needs, it's a good talking to.

What would you do if your child came home and said they had changed their name to something dopey like this? Or this?

Source: Telegraph

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Which Candidate Has The Best Name?

Brett Singer — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Bruce Lansky, described as “North America’s #1 author of baby name books,” has weighed in on the candidates' names. The heck with their policies. Bruce is all about NAMES. And he wants to know: “Whose name is more presidential?”

Here are some of Bruce's insights:

First of all: “The contrast between the candidates’ first names could hardly be greater.” What? Really? I hadn't noticed. “I think Senator Obama’s name is a mixed blessing—on one hand, it’s a hard name to forget; on the other, it may come across as too 'foreign' to many Americans.” Wow. Deep.

Anyway, while he doesn't really answer the question of which name is more presidential (at least not in the press release I received), Lansky does point out that John is a popular name (who knew?) and that there have been four American Presidents named John. Despite being a popular name, it is somewhat nondescript; “John is such a common name that the image isn’t associated with any individual.” Senator McCain, according to Bruce, has “a first name that makes a solid first impression.”

Finally Lansky gets to the origins of the candidates' first names:

“Ironically, the names Barack and John share the same origin: Hebrew. Barack is a variation of Barak, which means 'lightning bolt.' John means 'God is gracious.'”

Here's where I think Bruce Lansky, baby name expert, author of the recent book “5-Star Baby Name Advisor”, might be, um, wrong.

I did find one source online that agrees with Lansky, sort of. A commenter going by the handle “meme” says that Barack means “flash of lightning.” But babynames.com says that, “The meaning of the name Barack is Blessed,” that the name is African in origin, and that it is a form of the Hebrew name Baruch. And some lunatic posting on the loony Debbie Schlussel's website says, “Barack Obama was originally named 'Baraka.' It is not an African name. It's an Arabic word meaning “blessed” and comes directly from the Koran.” Which, in this person's mind, makes him eeeevil. Anyway, that's three conflicting definitions. (Admittedly, the third one is kinda nutty.) That's not enough to make a firm determination, but it does sound like Mr. Lanksy might be off the mark this time.

So what's in a name? Honestly, when it started to look like Obama would be the Democratic nominee for President, my first thought about his name was, “Oh crap. It sounds like 'Osama.' Repugnicans are going to have a field day with this.” And I was sort of correct: right-wing bloggers and radio hosts constantly refer to him as “Barack HUSSEIN Obama,” emphasizing his middle name with as much venom as possible. For me, I don't think much about either candidates' name, although I realize that for some people Obama's name projects a certain “image”.

Presidents don't always have an affect on what people name their kids – I've yet to meet a Woodrow, a Ulysses or a Lyndon (three “unusual” Presidential names that Bruce Lansky cites in the press release). Still, I wonder if we'll see a bunch of babies named Barack in the years to come.

Does anyone care what the name of their candidate is? Aren't their policies more important?

image: Amazon.com

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Woman changes her name to Cutout Dissection.com

Brett Singer — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMT

There are all sorts of stories of parents who name their kids dopey things – Sarah McCain Palin, Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Lipschutz, etc. – but here is someone who changed her own name to something weird.

The former Jennifer Thornburg -- whose driver's license now reads Dissection.com, Cutout -- wanted to do something to protest animal dissections in schools.

Thornburg – sorry, Dissection.com – is an intern at PETA, or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The name is a web site belonging to the animal rights group.

Over at PETA's site, Jennifer – sorry, Cutout – has an amusing anecdote about getting a driver's license with her new name:

What did the DMV say when you got your new license?

It took me two tries to get my license. On the second try, the DMV worker looked very amused and confused, but also looked like she was afraid to ask for an explanation.

And what do the regular people think of her new name? "I normally do have to repeat my name several times when I am introducing myself to someone new…Once they find out what my name is, they want to know more about what the Web site is about." Yes, I'm sure it’s a real conversation starter. Her dad, Duane Thornburg, thinks its fine. No mention of the mom or other relatives.

I know I’m taking a not-that-nice tone here, and I apologize for that. I suppose it’s a fair way to raise awareness for a cause that you believe in, in this case, students dissecting animals. One thing occurs to me, though. It's never somebody who has to work for a living that pulls stunts like this. Although the CNN story says that Cutout "is working in Virginia", she's actually an intern. Which means she's not working, at least not for money. So there's a part of me that wonders if this is just a weird way for her to get attention. (Nerdy aside: technically, the name doesn't really work, since URLs don't have spaces in them. So the name should be cutoutdissection.com, not Cutout Dissection.com. Just one name. Like Prince. Or Sting. Or Cher.)

To be fair, Ms. Dissection.com has been against dissection since her name was still Jennifer; a few years ago she convinced her school to stop dissecting dead animals in science classes, according to PETA. (Now they only dissect them during Algebra! No they don't, that's a bad joke, I'm sorry.) So she has the courage of her convictions. But maybe there are better ways to do good in the world? Maybe it's hard for me to take this too seriously when the world economy is collapsing and the United States is in the midst of an increasingly ugly Presidential campaign. I'm not saying distractions are a bad thing (LOOK! PICTURES OF CUTE THINGS!), but Cutout is kidding herself a little bit if she thinks changing her name is going to make a tremendous difference. Unless I’m wrong, of course. What do you think?

Source: CNN, Source/image: PETA

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Father Names Newborn Sarah McCain Palin

SunnyChanel — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 16:33:00 GMT

Tennessee resident and die-hard republican, Mark Ciptak, has decided to name his newborn daughter Sarah McCain Palin. Why, oh why, would he do this to his third born child? It is his way to “get the word out” on his support of the McCain Palin ticket. He states that he “took one for the cause, I can’t give a lot of financial support for the campaign. I do have a sign up in my yard”.

The kicker? He ignored the name his wife gave the baby, Ava Grace, a name the couple had previously agreed on. In filling out the birth certificate paperwork, he inserted his own choice of names, he says that his wife “I don’t think she believes me yet”, “it’s going to take some more convincing.

Wonder if there will be any Barack Joe Obamas born anytime soon.

(via Jezebel.com - photo via Baltimore Sun)

What was your fake baby name?

Brett Singer — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 15:00:00 GMT

The most recent Babble List features 33 of the dumbest celebrity baby names.

This reminded me of something my wife and I had some fun with before our kids were born: fake baby names to torture the grandparents.

While she was pregnant, the wife and I came up with ridiculous choices for names and tried to convince our parents that said names were under consideration for our offspring. Some examples are Butch Huskey Singer, Wade Boggs Singer, and Pincus Tyrone Singer (the latter only if we had a girl, of course). Other not serious choices were Roc Singer or Oprah Singer. (Rock? Opera? Get it? Anyway…)

I'm curious – does anyone else do this? Or are we alone in our attempt to amuse ourselves?

image: checkoutmycards.com

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That Name Is So Gay!

Miriam Axel-Lute — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 18:31:00 GMT

Choosing a baby name that will not get your child taunted in later life is clearly higher on some parents' priorities than on others'. But certainly when you expect your kids might run into some hard times on the playground for other reasons—such as, for example, their parents are gay—it might jump up a notch or two on the list and start to compete with things like easy to spell and pronounce.

Not, honestly, that I thought about it in those terms when we were picking our daughter's name particularly, but perhaps I should have. Way Out Parent's guide to gay baby naming points out, for example, that naming a girl Billie Jean, shortens to BJ, a fact which will escape no teen boy. Despite what I think of as my innuendo-alert mind, I would not have thought of that one. Guess I'm not a teen boy. Phew.

I'm not sure what I think of all of Way Out parent's advice. I definitely question whether sons of lesbians have a need to be blessed with definitively masculine names more than sons of gay men. (We're talking taunt reducing here, not challenging stereotypes.) And suggesting such a short list of icons to name daughters after seems like, if heeded, would lead to those names starting to (1) be way overused and (2) scream "My parents are gay!"

But perhaps I take this humorous post too seriously. In fact, I almost certainly do. That's what happens when humor hits close to home. But really, any parents who have come to stalemate over their naming choices could use a dose of humor and a break from books full of 15 million inadvisable and outdated names. And maybe a bunch more Ellens and Marlenes in the world wouldn't be such a bad thing.

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