Strollerderby : moms

Baby Toupee Creator Speaks

Brett Singer — Tue, 26 May 2009 21:00:00 GMT

If you made something as dumb as the Baby Toupee you might think keeping quiet would be the best course of action.

But you would be wrong!

TruTV interviewed Graham Farrar who did indeed come up with the idea for a line of baby headgear. Not just hats -- these puppies have hair.

Here's a sample:

Q: Who’s your typical customer?
A: Nuts with kids.

What a card.

Now, I suppose if someone wants to buy this sort of thing -- you know, a "nut" with a kid -- go for it. Apparently Farrar's customer base is mostly reggae fans, since his Bob Marley-esque model (aka "The Bob") is his biggest seller. (One of my colleagues wanted me to say that she feels the jokifying of Black hair is racist -- anyone agree/disagree? Let us know in the comments.) And in this economy, I don't want to bash a small businessperson.

Yet, bash I must.

Personally I'm not a fan of this sort of thing. Babies are cute enough on their own. OK, maybe Halloween. But these wigs look kinda nasty to me. I picture baby food getting stuck in those fake dreads... excuse me, I'm a little nauseous.

What do you think? Cute, not cute? Irie? Offensive? A great big plate of who cares?

Source: TruTV Dumb as a Blog

Japanese Potty Training Video

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Australian Kiddie Show Star Appears In Laddie Mag

Mom Arrested for Having 555 Pound Son

Brett Singer — Tue, 26 May 2009 15:30:00 GMT

This story is not to be confused with the one Madeline brought us, about the 550 pound woman who gave birth recently.

14-year-old Alexander Deundray Draper of South Carolina had been on the run with his mother, Jerri Althea Gray. Gray had been told by a family court judge to turn her son over to the state because they determined that he "was of the weight where it was decided by medical authorities that he needed treatment that was not being provided for by his mother."

That weight is 555 pounds.

According to CNN, the mother did not appear in court as ordered, "and has concealed the child."

It's one thing to be a little on the chunky side. But when your child is this heavy, clearly some enabling is going on. Barring some bizarre medical condition I'm unaware of, it doesn't seem possible for someone to reach 555 pounds at any age, much less 14, without a diet of nothing but unhealthy food. Hopefully everyone involved in this case will get the help that they need.

Source: CNN

550-Pound Woman Gives Birth

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Hey Look! Mom Is On The Net!

Brett Singer — Sat, 16 May 2009 16:00:00 GMT

In various outlets (OK, mostly just VH1) people express their nostalgia for the 90's.

But music and movies aren't the only thing from the Whatever Decade (I just made that up) to get all misty-eyed about. There's also the commercials. Like this one.

It's not clear what is being advertised. But one thing's for sure -- these moms know all about technology!

You have to hang in there until the end of the video, when some random long-haired guy arrives. Just trust me on this one.

Source: Buzzfeed Via Everything Is Terrible (Or maybe it's the other way around. I get confused by all this WWW Dot Com Stuff.)

A Really Graphic Homebirth

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10 Year Old Burned By Tanning Bed

Mother's Day Music: The Least You Can Do

Amy Kuras — Sun, 10 May 2009 18:01:00 GMT

Does your mom like music? And did you just this very second remember it’s Mother’s Day and uh-oh, you forgot so much as a card?

Then National Public Radio has your back, peeps. They’ve complied a music playlist of mom-related songs , whch range from Dvorak to John Lennon’s “Mother” (probably the most depressing mother-related song I can imagine) and Smoky Robinson and the Miracles “Shop Around” (“my Mama told me…”).

Send your mom a link to this stream with an e-card, and you’re covered – sort of. Just hope your own kids show a little more thought when it’s your turn. Because even NPR has tongue-in-cheek titled the list “Mother’s Mix”— It’s the Least We Could Do.”

If you have a little more time for some forethought (and a better relationship with your mom) try making a mix CD for her. I’ve done that for my mom and she loves it, and we don’t even have similar tastes in music.

Classic Mother Songs For Mother's Day

Brett Singer — Sun, 10 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

There are lots of songs about moms, some with "mother" in the title. "Mother" by Pink Floyd, for example. But that song isn't really about mom.

However, "M-O-T-H-E-R", written by Theodore Morse and Howard Johnson in 1915, certainly is.

M is for the million things she gave me.
O means only that she’s growing old.
T is for the tears were shed to save me.
H is for her heart of purest gold.
E is for her eyes, with love light shining.
R means right, and right she’ll always be.

And what about the Charles Coleman classic from 1914, "Your Mother Is Your Best Friend After All"? ("When your days are dark and drear-y / Moth-er does not grow wea-ry...")

Unless you have a fondness for early 20th Century tunage, or happen to be very, very old, you probably aren't familiar with these musical portraits of momhood. Lucas Gonze, an accomplished musician and computer programmer, wants to change that by transcribing and recording these songs so that current and future generations can enjoy and play them.

Lucas posts both music that he discovers as well as his own renditions of public domain work on his site SoupGreens.com. A few months ago I noticed that he was working on a series of "mother songs", and Mother's Day seemed like the perfect time to share them with you. Here is an interview I did with Lucas via email, followed by links to the music, all of which can be downloaded, legally, for free.

Q: Why did you decide to do mother songs?
A: Mother songs are a lost genre sitting right under our noses. I had no idea they even existed, but there's a ton of them. And they're a cool idea because they go in the opposite direction of things like gangster rap and death metal. What could be less derivative than songs about how you should pay more attention to your mother? This genre is so over the top shameless about sentimentality that it's practically clawing at you, which is so out of style that it's original.
And I like the way that the primal emotional charge of motherhood draws you into a song. It's dynamic.
Also, I almost never do anything good for mother's day. So I'm hoping to not have to hear about how my brother, who is a total ass kisser, is a better son than me. Once in a while I'll send flowers via the internet but usually I just call my mom at the last minute, right at the end of the day when my guilt is bad enough that I have to do *something* or hear about it for the rest of the year.

Q: Why are you using old songs in the public domain?
A: I go back all the way to historical songs because copyright on compositions more recent than 1920 basically never expires, and doing a cover of a song under copyright means you owe seven cents every time somebody downloads it.

Q: Where do you find the tunes?
A: I learn them from early recordings or sheet music. In this case I transcribed a 1929 hillbilly recording and cross referenced it against a 1904 wax cylinder and an 1893 lyric sheet.

Q: Where do you find the sheet music or (gulp) wax cylinders?
A: It's a scavenger hunt all over the internet. In this case the cylinder was on archive.org, the lyric sheet was in a library folklore collection for researchers, and the 1929 recording was on a commercial CD.

Links:
Three mother songs on SoupGreens, via the Internet Archive:

Your mother wants you home, lad, by Robert Price (recorded on 78 RPM)
Snyder, does your mother know you're out? (1899, Performed by: George P. Watson, recorded on wax cylinder)
Blind Willie Johnson-Mother's Children Have A Hard Time (December 3, 1927, recorded on 78 RPM)

Another mom song can be found here: I’m Taking Care Of Mother (While Daddy’s Gone Away) by The Light Crust Dough Boys

Here is Lucas performing "A Widow’s Plea For Her Son" from 1893.

Lucas also links to a big page of mother songs at ParlorSongs.org.

This is just a small sample, of course. If you have any mother songs that you love, old or new, let us know in the comments.

And I almost forgot -- Happy Mother's Day!

Image: ParlorSongs.org

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7 Mother's Day Gift Pitfalls

editors — Sun, 10 May 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Ah, Mother’s Day. How can a gift sum up the infinite gratitude we feel towards our mothers and the mothers of our children? Well, here are some ways not to...

1.The Really For You Gift

Surely she’ll come around to the genius of these (expensive) gadgets.

Presto 03430 Pizza Oven, $41.99 at Amazon

ShredderShark™ Paper Shredder with Wastebasket, $99.99 at Bed, Bath and Beyond

2.The 'Just A Suggestion' Gift

Because sometimes the sink looks like it’s going to overflow.

Kitchen Commandment Tea Towels from Kitchen Critic, Tea Towels, £9.50

Sponges, by Reed Seifer, available at Supermarket, $8.00 for both

3. And its ugly twin brother, The Appearance Insinuation Gift

You paid a little too close attention with this one.

The Youth As We Know It Facial ™, Bliss Spas, $185

“The result of our first ten years of ‘saving’ face, this treatment targets all those pesky arbiters of facial aging—tone, elasticity, volume, fine lines and wrinkles—all the way to your décolleté."

4. The Creepy Joke Gift

“Now we can reenact the shower scene from Psycho!”

Evidence Chef's Knife, $14.99, Perpetual Kid

5. The Last Minute Drugstore Gift (Unconvincingly Dressed as 'The Cute Gift')

You grabbed these after the Hallmark aisle alerted you of the special day you’d forgotten.

Black Forest Gummy Bears, $1.49 at Walgreens

Angels of Inspiration Ornament Pewter Keepsake Angel of Spring, $2.49 at CVS

6. The Completely Un-glamorous, Practical Gift

So useful it hurts.

Costco Wholesale, Gold Star Membership, $50, shipping and handling included

7. The Passive Aggressive Gift

One way to let the diva know she can scratch her own royal back.

Diva Darling Spa Therapy Independent Back Scrubber, $6.79 at CVS

And if it’s just getting to be too much, turn to YouTube; comedian John Roberts' Mother's Day spoof will get you back on hold with 1-800-Flowers in no time.

Not Every Kid With a Mother Has a "Mommy"

Miriam Axel-Lute — Fri, 08 May 2009 19:00:00 GMT

A few weeks ago I was at Music Together with my daughter. We were singing a song where a typical verse went like this:

"Who's that tapping at the window? /Who's that knocking at the door?
Mommy's tapping at the window?/Daddy's knocking at the door."

(Makes you think of the toddlers who lock their parents out, doesn't it?)

After it was over, my daughter turned to me and said "That's song's silly."

"Why?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew what was coming.

"It doesn't have a Mama in it."

And indeed it didn't. Though most of the world thinks of "Mommy" and "Mama" as interchangable, for children like her who have both, they're not exactly. She's been told, and basically understands, that they are just "parent names" and that all mothers and fathers get to choose a specific ones like "mommy" or "mama," and that doesn't mean they have different roles as parents. Nonetheless, she likes them to be in balance—from early on she would assign various unnamed mothers in her books, human and animal, one or the other and stick to her designations firmly, and she's quite concerned to know which one the various parents-to-be in her life are going to pick.

Now clearly it's no revelation that kids from anything other than a one mother-one father family don't see their family structures reflected in stories, songs, school exercises, etc. very often, and they feel it.

But what struck me about this exchange was that the parent names angle provides a fairly easy way to be a lot more inclusive without interrupting things with extended awkward clauses like "except some kids instead have two moms or two dads . . ." Not that kids shouldn't be explicitly presented with the idea of family structure variety—they should—but in passing cases like this music class, it can get a little silly. In those cases, perhaps just adding more parent names to our patter could go a long way. Nothing PC and obsessive. Just mixing it up a little.

In fact, it has the extra benefit of being a little more comfy to those from a het two-parent family who have a mama or papa. I've heard from one grown woman who had a papa who says that she was fairly annoyed by the "daddy" hegemony. Meanwhile, for the kids for whom they are interchangable, it likely won't even register.

I mentioned the idea to the music teacher, who acknowledged that she'd had concerns about those mommy/daddy songs too. This session, she's been singing a different song that mentions parents by name, and she's given it four verses—Mommy, Mama, Daddy, and Papa. It doesn't cover everyone, certainly, but I think those are far and away the top choices, so they should cover a lot of ground. It was simple and non disruptive and my daughter doesn't think that song is "silly."

What do you think? Would your kids notice? Would they care?

Photo CC license, YatesLaberge, via Flickr.

More by this author:

Joba Loves His Messy Mom, Do You?

JeanneSager — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:26:00 GMT

I am not a fairweather Yankees fan. I love Joba Chamberlain, even when his mom is brought up on meth dealing charges (when he gives up four runs in the first, weeeeeeell...).

The Yankees pitcher's comments had to warm the cockles of moms everywhere, especially this week of all weeks (ahem, look at your calendar).

"You've only got one mom, man, and you've got to be thankful for her,'' said Chamberlain. "I still love her."

Of course, it's not Joba's fault that his mom, Jacqueline Standley, was allegedly selling methamphetamines back home in Nebraska.

It isn't any kid's fault when mom is a serious mess. But this is certainly sit down and take stock week, especially for parents. Joba's sort of right - most of us only get one mom (yes, children of lesbians get two, kids in open adoptions get two . . . but the point is, your options are still limited!).

So does that mean we all have to love our moms? Or our dads for that matter? Or does it mean Jacqueline Standley is REALLY lucky to have a son who knows life throws you curveballs?

Ask any parent how their own parents play into their choices as a parent today, and you'll get one of two answers: 1. They're doing things the way their parents did it. or 2. They're trying very hard NOT to do it the way their parents did it.

We might only get one mom (or the equivalent), but that doesn't mean she had to be any good. And since we won't all have a Yankees pitcher for a kid, we'd best work our butts off to try to not to make a mess of it.

Image: DailyNews

TV-Free

editors — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:30:00 GMT

Today on Babble:

"TV-Free"

by Kate Haas

One mother asks, "Why does not having a television make me so unpopular?"

Read it here.

Playdate: Breastfeeding Bonds for Better Mom-Kid Relationships?

JeanneSager — Wed, 06 May 2009 20:32:00 GMT

I've read a lot more blogs since I took over the "What They're Babbling About" section for Strollerderby, and Breastfeeding Moms Unite! was sent my way via a "friend" on Twitter.

Not afraid to take on some of the bigger breastfeeding topics, it's worth a read anytime. But one post in particular caught my attention this week.

She asks women today if they were breasted . . . and how their relationships are with their mothers.

It's nothing scientific, and she makes clear she's not actually attributing her lack of a perfect relationship with her mother to her mom's decision NOT to breastfeed. Why then, I wondered, did she even bring it up?

Curiosity, it sounds like. And it is interesting to ponder - although entirely inconclusive. I was breastfed until just shy of the year mark. So was my brother. Neither of us has a terribly great relationship with our mother (his is better than mine). I tried breastfeeding and failed at it, and I would like to think a good relationship with my daughter is possible - at least something akin to what we have now. (I asked my husband, by the way, if he was breastfed, and he had no idea - and his mom breastfed into the toddler stage).

What's bothered me most about so many pro-breastfeeding mantras isn't the idea that breastfeeding is good for kids (because it is!) but the idea that it promotes better bonding between mother and child. Do they bond? Certainly. But better bonding? Isn't that a little subjective? A little "well, my kid loves me best?"

Because, try as we might, as parents, we can't control the feelings of our kids or the personalities of our kids. Some parents and children have horrible relationships because of bonds during childhood that were TOO tightly woven (think helicopter parenting), others clash because they as people are simply too alike. There's also the mere fact that as human beings, we all relate differently to one another.

Our own personalities as parents are distinctly different. Our personalities mesh differently with our different kids. I know some readers will take this as an attack on breastfeeding, so again, please understand, I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for women who do it (and something every woman should try to do). But reading through the comments on the BMU site, I pondered once again how much pressure we are putting on one small part of childhood to solve life's problems.

Take this comment: "Had I been weaned as an infant, I’m not sure I would have maintained that physical closeness with my mom. She let me breastfeed as long and as often as I needed or wanted, and I do feel that that contributed to my feeling that she was always available to me, throughout my life."

That's just one opinion, but it struck me as a perfect example of the attempts to make breastfeeding into a panacea. God forbid her mother stopped at, say one year, perfectly acceptable according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, and just showered her with love, affection and a roof over her head, clothes on her back? That wouldn't be enough to retain a sense of physical closeness with her?

As one friend said when I mentioned the idea of breastfeeding in childhood in relation to an adult mother/child relationship, sometimes mothers are unhappy breastfeeders, women who did it because they knew it was best for their child's health, but end up resenting their children for a miserable eight, ten, twelve months. She posited her own mother probably had post partum depression and was not a happy breastfeeder. Today, they have a stilted relationship.

The best benefit of having a mother who breastfed? Besides the health benefits we got if we were breastfed? In my mind it's the positive role model, the knowledge that someone we know did it and made it work. If we're lucky, when it comes time to breastfeed, we have a good enough relationship with that woman (our mother) to turn to her for advice on how to proceed ourselves.

But if a mom wasn't breastfed, will it make or break her relationship? Take this comment over at the BMU site and ponder it. I think it answers it quite nicely: "You may simply be posing the question of whether or not breastfeeding can make a significant impact on mother-daughter relationships but I believe the answer has long been apparent in the relationships between women and adopted daughters."

Image: EcoStreet

Possible Father of Malawian Orphan Opposes Madonna Adoption

Brett Singer — Sun, 03 May 2009 19:00:00 GMT

James Kambewa might be the father of Chifundo "Mercy" James, the girl that Madonna wants to adopt. And he's decided that he can take care of her. He feels that his little girl should be "raised as a Malawian", according to BBC News. So Madonna should step off.

I say "might" because it's not clear that the man is, in fact, Mercy's dad. In an interview with 'The Early Show' on CBS, he said that "he wore a necklace bearing his daughter's name around his neck, even though he had never seen her in person." He said that he wants "to take care of her, and I'm capable to take care of my baby." A big question, of course, is why Mercy was in an orphanage if she had a parent "capable" of raising her.

The whole thing is getting somewhat silly. Personally, I think Madonna should be able to adopt Mercy James, because that would mean a much better life for the girl. A court ruled that the adoption wasn't legal (Madonna's appeal will be heard on Monday), but if that's true, how was she able to adopt David Banda?

I'm not going to get into a debate about Malawian legal matters. I just think that it would be too bad if this little girl is forced to live in an orphanage when she could have moved into the lap of luxury. Especially if the only reason her dad came forward is because there were TV cameras around.

Source: BBC

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New Jersey Woman Tweeting While Giving Birth

Brett Singer — Fri, 01 May 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Melissa Skabich of Cedar Grove, New Jersey is 39 weeks pregnant. She is being induced today due to high blood pressure. You can read more about it on her blog. You can also follow the delivery process live via Twitter. So, what's for dinner? I was thinking hamburgers, but I guess we had that once already...

Wait, what?

Yes, Melissa will be tweeting. Not before. Not after. DURING. DELIVERY.

My initial reaction is summed up by this commenter at NJ.com: "Worry about giving birth to your child, not tweeting. You twit." I would have left out the "twit" part, but I understand the frustration.

On the other hand, what's the harm? If she's into it, that's cool, right?

Mostly it seems like an unnecessary distraction. Isn't being in labor difficult enough without being concerned about tweeting? I'm also wondering if her doctor will tell her to put the darn Blackberry away and focus on pushing. This is her third kid, so I guess she knows what she's doing.

What do you think? Would you tweet while giving birth? Or is this just plain silly?

You can follow Melissa on Twitter at twitter.com/mommyblogger76.

Source: NJ.com

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Does Madonna Spank Her Kids?

Brett Singer — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 01:00:00 GMT

Somewhat buried in the news about Madonna's adopted son David Banda meeting up with his biological father in Malawi was this little tidbit (this is David's dad Yohane talking about his chat with David):

He told me his mum likes riding horses and that he too rides horses. Then he told me a story when one day he and his brother, Rocco, rode horses and fell. He told me his mum spanked him because they are not supposed to ride horses on their own. (Emphasis added)

Whoa, Nellie! Hang on a minute. Madonna spanked him?

Well, maybe. When I first saw this, Shannon pointed out that sometimes little kids exaggerate. I've never hit either of my children but my oldest once informed someone that I had. Somewhat out of the blue, I might add. Luckily it was a person who was inclined to take my word for it (a relative). But if it had been a teacher, I don't know how that would have gone over.

Still, it's interesting to think about. Do you think Madonna spanks her kids? Or maybe she has the nanny do it? Or is David just a little kid exaggerating?

Source: PerezHilton

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Madonna Adoption Denied, Appeal Filed

Brett Singer — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

A Malawi court ruled on Friday that Madonna could not adopt 4-year-old Mercy James because she had not been a resident of the country for 18 months.

As my son sometimes says, "I didn't see that coming."

Why do I say that? Well, here's the thing. She already adopted a kid from Malawi. David Banda. Remember him? Cute kid, rides horses, visited his hometown with Madge so he could hang with his biological dad?

According to the Telegraph, the rule about adoptive parents being residents of Malawai for 18-24 months was waived back in 2006 to allow Madge to adopt David. Now a local judge is concerned about setting a "dangerous precedent" if she is allowed to adopt again.

Except that the precedent was already set! You let her do it before! When you train puppies, or discipline children, you try to be consistent. I know that's an oversimplification, but isn't it silly to talk about "dangerous precedents" when you already did the thing that you now say you are worried about?

That could be why Madonna has decided to appeal the ruling. I don't know much about the law, and I know even less about Malawian legal issues (to be fair, I probably know more about brain surgery than I do about Malawian legal issues), but it seems to me that she's got a pretty good case. Because they let her adopt David Banda in 2006. Did I mention that?

It's possible that the adoption was denied because of Madonna's recent divorce from Guy Ritchie. The Telegraph quotes a government official as saying that, "Our official policy is that we do not encourage our children to be sent into broken homes." Because being raised by a single parent is clearly much worse than living in an orphanage. Never mind the fact that this particular single parent is wealthier than most of the people on the planet. And while I agree in general with human rights groups who have been saying that "whisking a single child off to a fairytale lifestyle in Hollywood" is not the answer to the world's problems, it's also not the worst thing that could happen to a kid from an impoverished country. (It's also worth noting that Madonna lives in England, not Hollywood. But whatever.)

I should point out that this is not, in my opinion, a major issue in our world today. But everything Madonna does is news, and while I don't care much about her music (or her movies, which, except for "Desperately Seeking Susan" are considerable unwatchable), I have to give her credit for commanding attention with every move she makes. I'll also give her props for starting a charity, Raising Malawi, to help other orphans in Malawi. According to the Telegraph, "She has already built a multi-purpose community centre at Mphandula village, 30 miles from Lilongwe, which looks after more than 8,000 orphans from scores of villages in the area." That's a lot of kids. So, in the language of her adopted British homeland, good on ya, mate. (Or something like that.) Of course, as Shannon pointed out, it's fine for Angelina Jolie to adopt a kid every other week, but Madonna we have a problem with. That's another topic, but one worth mentioning.

What do you think? Should Madonna be allowed to adopt Mercy James?

Source: Telegraph

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Mothers Pimping Daughters for Cash

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 15:31:00 GMT

A Time Magazine has a horribly depressing article on a long held Iraqi custom that only seems to be growing worse, with the country still unstable: Child sex slavery. In many cases, it's their mothers who force them into it.

Clearly the parenting books are different over there, as I have yet to see a stateside copy of "What the Expect When You're Pimping Your Daughter, You Heartless (Fill in the Blank)."

Girls as young as 11 and 12 are fetching anywhere from $2,000 to $30,000 on the "human cattle market," and oftentimes it's their mothers who are looking to score the money, according to the article.

Take the case of 15-year-old Atoor. She married her husband, 19, but when he was killed, her mother tried to sell her into prostitution. The girl told authorities, who put her in prison for two years.

"I wanted to go to prison, I didn't want to be sold," she says. "I didn't think it would happen to me. My mother used to spoil me. Yes, she sold my sisters but she regretted that. I though that she loved me."

Wasn't this one of the 5,000 reasons given for the invasion of Iraq, improving human rights? Especially women's rights? How much are we culpable for this rising trend, and do we have an obligation to make this right -- not just for girls over there but so we can look our own in the eyes and say we tried?

[photo: Time]

Rating Yourself on the Obama Parenting Scale

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 14:48:00 GMT

Do your kids make their own beds? Clean up the dog poop? Do they have their own alarm clocks and get themselves ready in the morning? Do you maintain a date night without them, and when you're home, do you read to them?

Well then congratulations, you're an Obama parent.

The Mommy Files over at SFGate has a quiz that lets you rank your own parenting style with the First Family's, and reading through it I have to admit I loved one of the old school traditions the Obama's are teaching. My own grandpa was a firm believer that if you didn't get yourself up and ready on your own, you could miss out. It was a lesson that hit home when I overslept one morning, waiting for someone to wake me, and missed a trip to the donut store.

It happened only once.

So it brought a smile to my face to think that with an entire White House staff at their disposal, the Obama kids are still forced to make their own beds and get themselves ready. These kids are so awesome.

As for the rest of the quiz, it looks like the Obamas are taking a cue from the educated yuppie playbook. Local, organic food? Check. Consistent bed times? Check. Date nights? Check.

"The Obamas are so seemingly outstanding that they're raising the bar for parents across the country. If Barack can work on solving the world's problems and then make it to his daughter's basketball game, shouldn't all moms and dads be attending their kids' sporting events?"

How do you stack up against the Obama's?

Black Market for Blankies

Kelly Mills — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 16:32:00 GMT

According to the Washington Post, there's a whole slew of sellers on ebay who are buying up seemingly "'eh, what's the deal" blankets, stuffed animals, and other toys. Why? Because the items have been discontinued by manufacturers, and sellers are hoping to capitalize on the desparation of one group in particular.

The "lost lovie" parents. You know, folks whose kids are attached to a binkie, snuggle, woobie, num-num, lovie, blankie, wootsie cueball whatsit. Whatever. Sellers are counting on parents paying top dollar when their child's most precious security possession goes missing. For example, one Carter's blanket had a "buy it now" option of $54.88 and a message telling people not to ask why the price was so high, because this item could only be found on eBay.

I'm simultaneously creeped out by the idea of capitalizing on a kid's attachment to an almost irreplaceable item, and impressed by the ingenuity of people who get exactly how far parents will go to keep their kids from a lost-blankie freakout. I know my family once drove five hours back to a hotel during a packed vacation to retrieve my sister's most beloved stuffed otter.

So how far would you go or have you gone to keep your kid snuggie-satisfied? Would you pay top dollar to ebay vultures/entrepreneurs?

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Babble Talk – The Color Blind Kid

Brett Singer — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:00:00 GMT

I'm not one of the people who thinks that racism is over now that Barack Obama is President. (Call me when Black people can hail a cab in Manhattan.)

That said, I do think that it's fair to hope that future generations will be less inclined to judge others by the color of their skin. This quote from Kids Say The Cutest Things illustrates this point:

Six year old Hanna.."Daddy why are Black people Black and White people White"...Daddy "Well because that is the way God made us"...Hanna "Oh..well can you tell God that my favorite color is PINK!"

Aw. Maybe one day we can all just get along. Or at least get a cab.

Read more stuff from kids that will give you nachas for the future of our nation right here. You can also submit your own aspirational aphorisms.

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Comcast Super Bowl Surprise

Brett Singer — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Some Arizona cable subscribers got mighty ticked off during the Super Bowl on February 1. But not only because the Cardinals lost the game.

Certain Comcast cable customers were watching Larry Fitzgerald's terrific catch and run with just over two minutes left in the game, when suddenly something… else… appeared on their screens. A movie. The kind of movie you really don't want your kids to see.

The title of said movie was "Wild Cherries 5." Let's just say that you don't really need to have seen any of the first four films in order to follow the plot.

This comment from The Arizona Daily Star website sums it up nicely and even uses clean language:
It was really weird. I thought at first, awww, whet are they doing , thinking it was just an edgy commercial that the Superbowl is known for.
Then it was clear that something was really wrong as the guy stood up and everything was there, yes, everything.

If you want to see the video, click here. It is not safe for work, school, children, or pets. Well, maybe pets. Maybe.

All kidding aside, parents who were watching the game with their kids were quite peeved at this year's wardrobe malfunction. (Also from the AZ Star.)
I had a 2 and a 7 year-old in the room and it was totally disgusting. Comcast better get ready to give all subscribers at least one free month of service for having to be subject to this filth!

Full month of service from Comcast and Cox cable (make up your own joke there, Beavis)? Nope. Ten bucks. Maybe they can use it to order some pay-per-view.

One parent who understands how those parents feel is Tristan Kingsley, the star of the film in question. Kingsley, who has appeared in 600 adult films (I get tired just typing that phrase), has two children of her own, a three year old girl and a four year old boy. She told the Star, "I've read some comments that parents have left on different blogging sites, and I can understand that they'd get a little upset that their children might be watching it. I would never go and put one of my videos on for my kids to watch."

Wow. Just…wow.

What would you do if you were watching TV with your kids and suddenly saw… that?

Source: AZStarnet.com (1, 2), Gizmodo

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Pittsburgh Schools Open Late Day After Super Bowl

Brett Singer — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:50:00 GMT

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Children belong in school.

Pittsburgh Public Schools opened two hours late today. Why? Well, the Steelers were in the Super Bowl. Duh.

And now that the Steelers won (great game, for what it's worth), the statement that school district spokesperson Ebony Pugh made on Friday seems prescient: "People will be staying up late; there will be some partying."

I have no doubt that Pittsburgh partied like it was 2006, when Pittsburgh also won, and schools were similarly delayed. But the game ended at 10pm. While it's very nice of the district to delay the start of school so that parents can have an extra hour or two to get over their hangovers (frankly, I could've used an extra couple of hours and I'm in New York), it seems like a ridiculous move. One parent, Latoya Taylor, is going to miss time at work because of the delay. Is Ben Roethlisberger going to reimburse her?

I hate to be a sourpuss. But I really think this is stupid. "The district hopes the delay will cut down on absenteeism." How about expecting people to be responsible enough to get up and get their kids ready for school? Or not keeping them up so late that they're overly tired in the morning? If a parent decides, as my mother did with opening day at Yankee Stadium, that a sporting event is worth missing school for, that's one thing. But when the district makes that decision for everyone, I don't like it.
Anyone from Pittsburgh want to weigh in? I mean, congrats on the win. Great game. But are you happy that schools were delayed two hours? Non-Pitt residents, how would you feel if this happened in your hometown?

Source: PittsburghLive

Image: pps.k12.pa.us

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Do Your Kids Watch The Super Bowl?

Brett Singer — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 15:30:00 GMT

This year, for the first time in many years, my friends and I are forgoing the family Super Bowl watching experience in favor of a visit to a local tavern. Basically, almost everybody has kids now, which means that by halftime, we all have to go home. Last year, when the New York Football Giants beat the New England Patriots (heh heh) in what was one of the biggest upsets in sports history, we were all back in our living rooms, watching it alone.

Is that a big deal? No. Would it have been more fun to watch the game with the guys, especially this catch by David Tyree (included here to torture Patriots fans)? Sure.

As it turns out, none of our children care about the game. They like to hang out together, but we can do that anytime. This way the fans can watch the game and only leave at halftime if its a blowout.

So that's my deal this year. I'm wondering about our readers. Do your children watch the Big Game? For that matter, do you? And if your kids do watch, how old are they?

My pick: Sunny is pulling for the Steelers, and I would join her. But the fact that the Cardinals haven't won in, like, 100 years or something, is making me root for them. That, Kurt Warner being really old (as The Onion points out), Edgerrin James getting a chance to win a Super Bowl after watching his old team The Colts win the year after he left, Arizona being the underdog... they get my rooting interest. That means nothing, of course. And I have nothing against the Steelers. They just won a couple of years ago, though.

So – big game or no big game, and kids or no kids?

Image: Zimbio

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Babble Talk: Keep That Kid Away From The Police

Brett Singer — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 23:00:00 GMT

In general when our kids say something inappropriate, they don't mean to. That is, they just mix up a word or two.

Of course, there are mix ups and there are mix ups. Like this one:

Calls popcorn "Cop porn" – Rylee (3)

This isn't likely to be a problem. Unless you are at the movies and there is an officer of the law nearby. "Hey, Dad, thanks for the Cop Porn!" Could be a little problematic.

Read more stuff from kids that could get you arrested right here. You can also submit your own bombastic baby babble.

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Brett Singer — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

There's a routine by a comedian whose name I can't recall that I always liked. In it, the comic talks about his son and how little kids are honest to a fault. The boy walks up to heavyset woman wearing a Guess? shirt and says, "I don't know. 280? 285?" And so on.

I was reminded of that routine by today's edition of Kids Say The Cutest Things:

"I didn't know dogs can drive cars!" said by my daughter Madelyne, 3, when she saw a not so attractive person driving a car past us who resembled a dog.

On the one hand, we want our children to be honest. On the other hand, there are times when being honest is not a good idea. When you receive a birthday present you don't like, you don't say, "Gee, this sucks." You say, "Thank you for the gift."

Or if you see a person who is particularly unattractive, it probably isn't such a great idea to refer to them as a K-9. I'm just saying.

Get more brutal honesty from people no taller than your kness right here. You can also submit your own trenchant toddler tidbits.

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Woman Arrested For Breast Feeding At A Bar

Brett Singer — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Allanah Earley went to a Durham, Connecticut bar to have a couple of drinks. Nothing wrong with that, right? But the 36-year-old brought her baby. Hey, lots of us think that's fine as well. Then she started breast-feeding the baby, who is seven weeks old.

Two new acronyms have popped up as a result – DWB (Drinking With Baby, from NBC Connecticut) and BWI (Breastfeeding While Intoxicated, from ParentDish). BWI works better, I think. The official charge is "risk of injury to a minor", which sounds pretty, um, minor. At the moment, Earley is free on $10,000 bail.

Imperfect Parent asks, "Wonder where the breastfeeding advocates stand on this issue." Well, it's generally thought that drinking alcohol while breast-feeding is a bad idea. Especially if you literally drink alcohol WHILE YOU ARE BREAST-FEEDING. Like, have a couple of drinks, feed the kid, have another shot, and so on. That's what Allanah Earley is accused of: The Middletown Press says that when police interviewed Earley, she was visibly drunk, and admitted to officers that she'd had seven drinks. I'm guessing even the strictest La Leche Leaguer would suggest formula in that situation.

Poor kid. Even without the breast-feeding, mom's got some problems.

One report says that bar patrons called the police when Earley left the bar and "wandered out into the cold" with the baby, eventually finding her way to a friend's house, where she kept on drinking and breast-feeding. (Ah, reminds me of my college days… sorry, not funny.) In other words, the "concerned customers" didn't make the call while Earley was at the bar.

Would you do something if you saw a mom drinking and breast-feeding her baby at a bar? It's trickier than it sounds, I think – one the one hand, she has a right to do what she wants as long as it's legal. But as she becomes more and more intoxicated, the baby could be in danger, right? I'm not sure what I would do. How would you handle it?

Source: wfsb.com, others