Strollerderby : mommy blogs

In Defense of Judgmental Mothers

Madeline Holler — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:26:00 GMT

She takes a lot of crap, Judgmental Mother. Or maybe you know her as Sanctimommy or, more generically, “that asshole who offered unsolicited parenting advice.”

Andi over at “Poot and Cubby” (would it be judgmental to say that blog name makes me shudder?), calls Judgmental Mother “HOB” -- Hateful, Opinionated Bitch or, alternately, Horribly Obnoxious Bitch. And Andi runs in to HOB everywhere. Understandably, Andi thinks she's a real menace.

Not only does HOB judge Andi for dressing her child too warmly (typical HOB), she thinks the baby is going to fall out of the sling (typical aging HOB). I don’t need to recount the details, because you have your own experiences with the gal (or, sometimes, guy). We all do.

For me, she told me my baby would suffocate in a sling, while I strolled through the airport; he said that my 1-year-old needed shoes (didn’t notice the double-layer of socks) one cold spring day in D.C. She proclaimed my 2-year-old ready to use the potty (I was changing her diaper at the science center), and that I shouldn’t highlight a 4-year-old’s hair (we don’t. Good genes.)

I seethed about these incidents loooooong after they happened. (And for any of you who had to hear my rant – real sorry. I must have seemed a tad defensive.) But that was then. I’m sure I’ve been HOBed loads since, but somewhere along the line, it stopped bothering me. And I actually think – from a much broader perspective – is kind of cool if not a little misdirected.

Recently, a parent at my daughter’s preschool cried, “oh, aren’t you chilly!” to my toddler, who was wearing a skirt without tights and quite possibly a short-sleeved shirt. In December, sure, but it’s Los Angeles County. She’s a cold-weather kid by heritage, so 67 degrees doesn’t merit the parka and multiple layers of her native peers. Anyway, the morning shirt battle is one we stopped waging months ago so if it's February and you see spaghetti straps, you'll understand. In any case, I smiled at the lady and signed my daughter in.

I’m pretty sure I would have been savagely pissed off at the self-badged sweater cop had this happened early in my mothering career. But I gotta tell you. Right now? Nearly 7 years and two kids into it? I could give a shit less. In fact, I’m oddly comforted.

So the lady had never seen a bare-legged kid withstand Southern California's punishing winter weather. She spoke up! I kind of like that. Maybe she’ll speak up too if she sees something shitty going on at that preschool (which, except for drop-off hours and monthly tuition, I know soooo little about). Maybe she’ll look out for my kid in other situations, not just wardrobe ones, like if a teacher is mean to her or if she’s pissed herself and not immediately changed.

A person who butts into someone’s business regarding socks or slings or snowsuits – or breastfeeding or immunizations or signs of autism -- would certainly say something to a parent slapping around kids at the mall. It takes a loud-mouthed, judgmental, butting-in type to want to call someone out on a perceived danger with the big stuff. Sometimes (often?), they’re going to cross a line in the smaller, none-of-their-business stuff too.

I’d rather cheer on the one and just smile ignore the other. I'm not saying we should usher them in as True American Heroes. I'm just saying there is something good below all that undermining. So I won't let it get to me. I've got enough to make me angry. You know, like my kids.

Strollerderby Playdate: Why Aren't You Outside!? Edition

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 28 May 2007 11:02:00 GMT

It's a holiday! What are you doing reading this? You should be outside grillin' and getting your High Life on!

But, awww. We really appreciate that you are checking in with us. Just in case you are gearing up for your day with coffee and/or you have to work today (my condolences), let's start your day off correct.

Eden Kennedy's father passed recently, and her posts about him have been so brilliant and so poignant, Fussy is a fitting place to start this Memorial Day. You can just look at the photos of her recent posts to get a sense of her dad. It's an amazing tribute by a daughter to her father.

Creative Type Dad gives us some juicy tidbits to tide us over while he's on vacation. Bon voyage, CTD!

Rita Arens of Surrender, Dorothy asks if working parents are "assholes" over at BlogHer.

Goofy Girl starts a "family fun jar" even though "three-year-olds have no idea about money."

MUBAR gets Facebooked. The horror.

Enjoy your Monday everyone!

Strollerderby Playdate: Curing the "Case of the Mondays" Edition

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 14 May 2007 11:03:00 GMT

It's Monday and as a parent, especially if you stay at home, you know that this day is the start to a long week. If you're a single parent or parents that work opposite shifts, perhaps it's a day like any other, since you rock stars rarely get the breaks you so desperately need.

But, never fear, some much needed cheer is here. If you're like me and just need to get through the day today, hopefully these bloggers will help you ease into the day with a smile on your face even if you aren't always smiling inside.

Grace Davis "Badass and Botox-free at 50" copied Tori Spelling and bought her dog a stroller.
Creative-Type Dad makes the best of a busted Mother's Day. Blame Canada and his wife's jerktastic boss.
Kimchi Mama Glennia Campbell shares two stories about her mom that will have you clutching your sides with laughter.
Equally funny Lindsay of Suburban Turmoil recounts a blogmom smackdown that alllllmost makes you think its real.
Rustbelt Ramblings is busy with playoff beards and humping buffalos.

Happy Monday, everyone!

Strollerderby Playdate: Chicago Style

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 08 May 2007 11:03:00 GMT

This morning, my boy is running around the house in an oversized t-shirt that I got from a street vendor for two bucks. It is one that most of us have buried somewhere to tell the world we all *heart* NY. While he's a well-traveled toddler, New York City has never been one of his stops. And really, as cute as he is when he squats down and makes a dress out of that t-shirt, every time he wears it I think about how I need to find him more gear from our city. Maybe a Steppenwolf onesie or dueling Sox and Cubs caps. Or possibly, a nod at the el train near our house we almost never take.

Lil E's not the only wonder to be homegrown in the Windy City. There's also loaded-up hot dogs (which I secretly despise...shhhh) and pizza (which I adore) and undying sports fanaticism (zzzzzz...sorry! what?) and politics. And, course, there are the bloggers. Even BlogHer thinks this is the place to be. In honor of all things cha-cha-Chicago, here are some of da second city women bloggers yous guys should be reading:

Park Bench Parents Not Popular

Kelly Mills — Sun, 06 May 2007 17:29:00 GMT

Motherhood Uncensored (love the condoms) has a nice rant about those rowdy kids who smack your child and take away their toy while the parents look on benignly. It's a very self-aware send-up, and she has much more rancor for the parents who sit back and mumble, "Now, now, don't hit" than the actual bruisers themselves. These park bench parents practice only the most ineffectual forms of discipline, and she's is tired of it.

I know the frustration of watching some aggressive child try a WWF-style smackdown on my child over a dump truck at the park, so I'm completely sympathetic to this. But can I just take a moment to vent about another side of this issue? I'm mom to a very guileless and sometimes bossy child with a big personality. She is quick to respond, and usually does so at a fairly high volume. And I've watched a few kids practice the fine art of psychological warfare on her, and it pisses me off.

Some children figure out at a very early age the power of words, and what gets adult attention and what doesn't. I've observed children start to needle my child, knowing that they can get a reaction out of her. Stuff like, "I like so-and-so better than I like you" and "you don't ever get a turn" delivered in a low voice with a smile. Then when the parents rush over to see what the commotion is all about, the child looks up innocently "I just said it wasn't her turn yet" while my kid howls and looks like the crazy one. Those children don't have to use fists to fight, and they get off scot-free most of the time. I know that it's normal to experiment with power, just like it's normal to go through a biting or hitting phase. But I wish some parents were more attuned to the fact that aggression takes many forms, and just because my child yells doesn't mean she's a terror on wheels. She's responding the way we all might want to when someone taunts or intentionally hurts us. I'm sick of having to explain to my child that when another kid is behaving in an evil way, she should be honest and use her strong words to say, "Stop, I don't like it when you say that." Yeah yeah, life skills and so on, but the unfairness of how the sneaky kids just escape parental notice is really awful. I'm tempted to growl at the the little sociopaths myself.

Phew. Now I feel a little better too.

Strollerderby Playdate: Addicted to Moms

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 02 May 2007 11:05:00 GMT

Almost 28 days later, I'm still addicted. To blogs. Good blogs. Mom blogs. A few weeks ago I told you about a few great parenting blogs that I have to check out every day. Needless to say, that's not all. I promised back then that I'd give you more, so here goes:

First up, Radioactive Girl -- who I swear writes about cupcakes just to taunt me. And then runs, runs like crazy.

Jenny Blackburn is Absolutely Bananas -- and I mean that in a really, reallly good way. She also blogs here.

If you haven't checked out A Child is Born, you don't know what you're missing. And you're dumb. I got hooked after reading this and feeling, somehow, like she knew my family.

It's a little difficult to write about DooDaddy in a post about moms -- but I do check him out every day and you should too. So get on it, slacker!

And if you've got a moment, stop over and see the other Radioactive Girl -- a kick-ass mom who needs more than a little support in the next few days.

And no, that's not all. Thankfully there are a ton more hot mommies out there to keep me occupied. Watch for more next week.

Strollerderby Playdate: Random Acts of Randomness

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Tue, 01 May 2007 11:02:00 GMT

Good morning sunshines! I'm back again with today's blog round-up. Ailing 'Derby-er Jessica Ashley (usually in charge of Tuesday's playdate) is too sick to play with us. (Feel better, grrrrl.)

I'm also right in the middle of watching The Bachelor (ducks) so while I wait on the rose ceremony, you know, to find out who else is continuing on this "journey," I'm scanning my Bloglines to see what's going on in the parenting blog world.

Creative-Type Dad is pissed that his beloved KFC is going all healthy.
Ebony Mommy ponders whether she should come out of the blog closet.
This Full House gives birth...to her son's science project.
It's fun with chopsticks at the Other Mother.
Mom and daughter are hanging art over at Wendy Boucher's.

And there you have it. Go visit these fine folks. Oh, and my money's on Tessa.

Strollerderby Playdate: Parents Who Cook Edition

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 11:03:00 GMT

Happy Monday! It's the start to another week, a week in which you may or may not be turning off the TV or eating local. Whatever you've got going on this week, you've gotta eat, right? And the kids. The kids do, too.

Stroll with me as we check out what yumminess parents around the interwebs are cooking up.

Foodmomiac is a Chicago mama who has been testing our her local CSA delivery. I don't know about you, but I'd eat that.
New Jersey-based Izzy's Mama has been making cupcakes and Izzy's been reviewing them.
My friend Darlene has been dreaming about hummus in Portland.
Picky Fingers in San Francisco has me wishing our Hawaii trip were tomorrow instead of a month away. Aloha pork, indeed.

Strollerderby Playdate: Moment of Silence

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 11:04:00 GMT

It is hard to know what to say when 32 people die and many more are left in the wilds of anger, fear and disbelief. It is hard to know what to write when a beautiful spring day and classes full of students and a seemingly normal existence is interrupted by the deadliest school shooting in our history. We've found the bloggers who have found the words, the prayers, the rage, the ways to express all the emotion this shooting holds.

Before you go about the tasks of daily living, before the political debates cloud the humanity, join us in reading these blogger's poignant observations in a moment of otherwise silence.

Jen from One Plus Two writes poetically about the painful absence of God in suffering from Cambodia to Virginia.

Nancy at Mom Ma'am Me shares the sadness of seeing the campus - and her memories there -- ravaged by violence.

Mir from Woulda Coulda Shoulda ponders the portrayal of evil in a children's book as the facts of the day unfold.

Annie Dameron asks the inevitable: What do you tell your kids when this happens?

The Washington Post's Blog Roundup is a chilling collection of responses, many from Virginia Tech students, in the wake of the bewilderment.

[photo credit: AP]

Strollerderby Playdate: Blogs You Should Be Reading

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 11:01:00 GMT

"Happy" Monday. I know, so grab a cup of coffee and tell the kids you need some "time to wake up." We're about to introduce you to five bloggers you should be reading, and if the next time you look up at the clock it's lunch time...oh well!

Baby Daddy is writing a blog for and about his yet-to-be-born babe. And his wife doesn't know it.
If you love mod design, mod products, and mod gear, you need to read Mod*Mom. She has an eye like no other.
So honest. So raw. So full of love for his family. If only all dads could be African American Dad.
One of the most beautiful souls in the blogosphere has to be Mom on a Wire. Go read her now. "Naked" blogging at its finest.
For the inner cowpoke in all of us (okay, not me, but I love this blog anyway) you must read the highly addictive Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. Her man is hawt, her photos are amazing, and her cooking will make you drool all over yourself. This is the first blog I read everyday.

Top 100 Mom Blog Awards Announced

MetroDad — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 16:02:00 GMT

According to technorati, there are almost 7,000 "mommy blogs" on the internet right now. In reality, the numbers are probably actually much higher than that. It seems that everywhere you look these days, mothers are using blogs to not only document their journeys into parenthood but also to form a uniquely supportive community.

Personally, I love reading mommy blogs. I find many of them to be smart, funny, honest, and intelligent. Furthermore, I've found many of the women writing them to be great writers. The sheer diversity of them is also compelling. Look closely and you'll find that mommy blogs are covering a wide array of subjects related to mothering: sex, humor, single parenting, home schooling, GLBT parenting, food, fashion, and religion.

This week, Mother's Day Central* awarded the Top 100 Mom Blogs Awards*, honoring the best mommy blogs (based on excellence in areas including originality, passion, humor, personality, and creativity.) Congrats to all the award winners! After dealing with the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, it's nice to see these mommy bloggers get some much-deserved recongition.

Special congrats to Strollerderby's very own, Rachael Brownell, whose personal blog Crank Mama made the list. Rock on, Rachael!

*De-linked in light of comments below. Scammers suck.

Strollerderby Playdate: Easter Around the Blogosphere

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:01:00 GMT

Strollerderby Playdate is a new daily feature which covers the latest happenings in the parent blog world. Got a mom or dad blog you'd like us to know about? Holla at us in the comments.

As I sit on the couch with my laptop in food coma caused by eating too many pig-related products in one sitting (followed by pink cake), I thought I'd check in to see how parents around the blogosphere spent their Easter Sunday.

In the Easter Egg Hunt category we have cute photos from Quick Serve Kids, Here and There, and (from Hawaii) Wireless Lanai.
Freitas Family shares her family's egg-coloring adventures.
Tanyetta, whose husband just returned from Iraq, shares a touching Easter sentiment.
Bad Bad Ivy shares tips to slow the sugar rush. (I don't know about you but there's way too much candy up in this piece.)
Chris from Notes From the Trenches realizes too late that the "Easter Bunny" effed up the Easter baskets this year. At least as far as her three-year-old is concerned.

Sounds like a wonderful (and typical) Easter was had by all. And I'd just like to add that potato gratin and savory bread pudding have no business being in the same meal...but, man, it was worth every bite.

Parenting Mad Libs (Trust Me, You're Already Playing)

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 15:02:00 GMT

Blogger Mom Ma'am Me has a hilarious post up about a "new game" that's sweeping the nation: Parenting Mad Libs. They're just like the Mad Libs you know and love, except with a parenting slant.

Here are some examples:

1. __(name of child)___! Put down that ___(breakable item)___ right now!
2. Stop hitting your ___(sibling's name)____ with that ___(heavy object)___!
3. I don't care if __(name of your child's precocious friend)__ has one, I am not letting you get a __(undesirable item)__.
4. Get your __(body part)__ off of __(name of pet, sibling, elderly relative, or fragile item)__ or I'll give you a __(type of punishment)__ you'll never forget!
5. You're going to ____(type of graphic injury)____ your ___(body part)__ with that __(sharp object)___ if you're not careful!

See, these are great, but it my house we cut to the chase:

Hey! ___(Name of child)____, quit acting like an ____(type of sphincter)____!

Oh, I kid. You can read Mom Ma'am Me for more Parenting Mad Libs, and be sure to check the reader comments for reader-generated 'Libs. Feel like sharing one of your own? Go for it in the comments below.

The Key to a Successful Parenting Blog: Don't Take Yourself too Seriously

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 14:34:00 GMT

The Birmingham News says that the best mom and dad blogs don't take themselves too seriously. I concur. Most of the parenting blogs that I read regularly lean toward the self-deprecating and sarcastic. This article named a couple of blogs that I'm sure everyone is familiar with (Dad Gone Mad, Breed 'em and Weep, Suburban Turmoil) and points out that you can tell just from the name that these people aren't afraid to laugh at themselves.

In my humble opinion (see, there is that sarcasm again) parenting is a tough job. It is a great job, but it is 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and let's face it - kids can be frustrating. If we weren't laughing at ourselves, we would probably be crying. Plus, no two children are the same (even twins) and those parents who are convinced that their way is the only way bug the shit out of us. Nobody likes a know-it-all. And so far nothing has convinced me that In don't really know anything as much as my daughter has. And she is not even three years old yet. I can't wait until she is a teenager.

Lunch Boxes Unsafe but Government Stalls in Letting You Know

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 21:09:00 GMT

Thank you, Associated Press. As a former reporter, it always thrills me to find journalists hot on the trail of important stories. This time? It's about lunch boxes. They're unsafe. And the government doesn't want you to know. Or didn't, that is, until the AP came along and opened an Incredible Hulk lunch box on their sorry excuses for public servants.

It turns out that one in five vinyl lunch boxes contained lead in levels high enough to be considered unsafe -- while a few more contained 10 times as much. The Consumer Safety Products Commission's response? Everything's fine. Not so fast.

MotherTalkers pointed out the AP article that says the CSPC had two ways of testing: One test showed high levels of lead in the vinyl itself while another showed lower levels of lead in a "swipe test" of the vinyl. Because most food is wrapped, the agency decided to go with the swipe test results -- meaning too many kids are still walking around with lead-tainted lunch boxes.

People, we're talking about lead. We're talking about kids. We realize you didn't get that coveted NASA gig, but still -- you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know the two don't mix, especially when it comes to food containers! Even freaking Wal-Mart banned the lunch boxes before the Consumer Safety Products Commission deemed them unsafe. That's pretty sad.

"Bluetooth Parents" Need to Hang Up the Phone

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 18:57:00 GMT

I can't tell you how many nannies and mommies I see at the park with cell phone earbuds and Bluetooth hookups attached to their ears. "Hang on, hang on, Lizzie's swinging and I've got to get her down ...." Of course, the conversation could go like this: "I'll call you back; Lizzie's swinging." Sadly, it never does.

I'm not the only one who finds it annoying. Jenny Blackburn at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's "Adventures in Parenting" blog calls them "Bluetooth Parents" -- that elite cadre of men and women who feel "compelled" to look like crazy insane homeless people who chat with themselves.

OK, I made that last part up -- but I do think they look silly. Still, Jenny wonders, why do people wear them even when not in use? Good question.

It's almost spring (hope, dear god, hope), so hang up the phone and enjoy that ~~childhood~~ fresh spring day with the kids.

Moms Tune Out Meredith and Diane in Favor of...Blogs?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 20:58:00 GMT

The Huffington Post reports that female viewership of the Today and Good Morning America shows has fallen by 10% since last year. Could it be that women are tiring of their parenting choices being picked apart by women in $10,000 suits? Or perhaps Matt is just getting too long in the tooth to hold our collective swoon any longer?

Whatever the reason, one thing is clear. People partaking of edu-tainment are interested in more authenticity and less staging. Like them or loathe them, blogs are certainly less polished than their television alternative (spelling errors, anyone?) and are often filled to the brim with saucy words and blood-boiling language. And of course the occasional deconstruction of diaper changing.

But how does one separate the wheat from the chaff? If you favor flava, I'd heartily suggest checking out the Stroller Derby writers' blogs. We even have phat daddies, who may be the real reason for the ladies no longer loving Matt. They are hawt hawt hawt.

Seriously, though, Amalah does a pretty good momblog round-up at ClubMom and there's always Dooce if you want to see what started it all. I prefer the off-the-beaten-track crowd, so I'd recommend you check out O the Joys and The Avery Lane Experience. After that, you're on your own, pal.

Cocktail Playdates Redux on the Today Show

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 18:02:00 GMT

Because of the heated reaction to The Today Show's segment on cocktail playdates which aired on 1/26/07 Meredith Viera and company decided to update the segment this morning by bringing back Dr. Janet Taylor (the mental health professional-slash-mother of four) and Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, the author who was featured drinking white wine while her kids played in her back yard.

The Today Show must have received an overwhelming number of emails and letters in support of "martini moms" because today's piece was livelier and less judgmental. Instead of focusing on "what if something should happen...you're a bad mom..." it was more about showing that one drink at a playdate is not a huge deal. Dr. Taylor even seemed to have softened her stance by saying that she doesn't have a problem with playdate drinking, but if you are drinking to self-medicate, then you might have a problem. Well, duh.

I'm happy they addressed the gender bias and how no one talks about men drinking at a party, but the moment women are involved, judgments are flying. I'm also happy there were no lame references to iVillage polls. All they had to do was take a stroll around the internet to see how moms and dads felt about this NONissue.

Wilder-Taylor even got a laugh out of the set when she said that modelling responsible drinking was not "splitting a beer" with your husband. She thinks everyone should "get their own beer." Meredith Viera even closed the segment by saying she could use a drink "right now." Oh really, at 8:00AM, Meredith? Do we need to talk?

[graphic credit: Suburban Bliss]

Big City Parents Representin' in the Blogosphere

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 19:04:00 GMT

Strollerderby has been billed as a news and information blog with a hip, urban vibe, which, if you know what that means, please explain it to me. (I'll be at Target buying designer knock-offs, but I'll check the comments as soon as I get back.) Actually, our editors have done a fine job of explaining that to me, and I hope that whether you are in a city or in the 'burbs, hip or unhip and pop music-addicted like me, you find something that appeals to you here.

Urban parents (of which I am one) definitely have to deal with stuff that suburban parents don't. For example, we have two kids and no parking (no garage, no parking space) so getting to and from the car is sometimes a challenge, especially when I don't remember where I've parked. Our kids play on asphalt. We have no drive-thru anything and that is probably the number one thing that pisses me off about living in a city. I've frequented parks that, at night, double as ground zero for Norteños vs. Sureños turf wars, and steered my kids away from play structures adorned with used condoms and spent hypodermic needles.

Livin' just enough for the city, indeed.

If you live in a 600 square foot apartment with two kids, or you've considered having a kidney harvested to pay for your child's private school education since public schools in your city suck ass, you might also be interested in reading some fine blogs by urbanite parents like you. (Or maybe-not-so-much-like-you-but-you-can-relate.)

New York City: DaddyTypes, (our own) MetroDad, and Mom-101

Los Angeles: Creative Type Dad, (our own) Dad Gone Mad and Girls' Gone Child, L.A. Daddy, and Tiny Coconut.

Boston: Boston Mommy

Chicago: Foodmomiac, Sassafrass

Detroit: Sweet Juniper

Nashville: Suburban Turmoil, Bad Bad Ivy

San Francisco: Post Hip Chick and yours truly.

Toronto: Her Bad Mother

Enjoy, and feel free to add your big city faves in the comments!