Strollerderby : mom

Best of FameCrawler - Week of May 29th

Whit Honea — Fri, 29 May 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Mike Tyson's 4-Year-Old Daughter Dies

Madonna Dishes on A-Rod and Kate Hudson

Confirmed - Gisele is Pregnant With Tom Brady's Baby!

Nicole Richie, Dad Lionel & Daughter Harlow (PHOTOS)

Sneak Peek! Jon & Kate Plus 8 Season Premiere

Kelly Rutherford, Lies and Videotape

Amy Mickelson's Breast Cancer Battle

Michelle Williams and Daughter Matilda Support Their Local Coffee House

Angelina Jolie: Madonna Adopts For Fame

Jon & Kate - Who Are The Kids Happier With? (Photos)

Slumdog Kids Finally Get A Home!

Brian Grazer's Prenup Still Makes Wife Rich

Mom Arrested for Having 555 Pound Son

Brett Singer — Tue, 26 May 2009 15:30:00 GMT

This story is not to be confused with the one Madeline brought us, about the 550 pound woman who gave birth recently.

14-year-old Alexander Deundray Draper of South Carolina had been on the run with his mother, Jerri Althea Gray. Gray had been told by a family court judge to turn her son over to the state because they determined that he "was of the weight where it was decided by medical authorities that he needed treatment that was not being provided for by his mother."

That weight is 555 pounds.

According to CNN, the mother did not appear in court as ordered, "and has concealed the child."

It's one thing to be a little on the chunky side. But when your child is this heavy, clearly some enabling is going on. Barring some bizarre medical condition I'm unaware of, it doesn't seem possible for someone to reach 555 pounds at any age, much less 14, without a diet of nothing but unhealthy food. Hopefully everyone involved in this case will get the help that they need.

Source: CNN

550-Pound Woman Gives Birth

Baby Asleep On Dad's Head

Hit Her Cat, She'll Hit Your Kid

Morning News - Mike Tyson's Daughter Injured

Dad Charges Daughter With Grand Theft Auto

OctoMom's Kid - Bite Mark And Black Eye

Best of FameCrawler - Week of May 22nd

Whit Honea — Fri, 22 May 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Gosselins are Good for a Gander

Katie Holmes Sets a Bad Example For Suri

Mormon Marie Osmond Supports Her Gay Daughter!

Stars Come Out For American Idol Finale: Brad Garrett and Kids Max and Hope

Barbara Walters To Interview John Edwards' Mistress Rielle Hunter!?

Bristol Palin and Son Tripp Cover People

Angelina Catches Brad and Jen Aniston Together!

Kate Gosselin Blogs Her Troubles Away

Matt Damon: Bourne to Be a Dad

Pregnant Lauren London & Lil Wayne Will Raise Baby Together!!!

Kelly Clarkson Looks Like She's Pregnant!

Caption This, Julia Roberts (or Don't)

Hey Look! Mom Is On The Net!

Brett Singer — Sat, 16 May 2009 16:00:00 GMT

In various outlets (OK, mostly just VH1) people express their nostalgia for the 90's.

But music and movies aren't the only thing from the Whatever Decade (I just made that up) to get all misty-eyed about. There's also the commercials. Like this one.

It's not clear what is being advertised. But one thing's for sure -- these moms know all about technology!

You have to hang in there until the end of the video, when some random long-haired guy arrives. Just trust me on this one.

Source: Buzzfeed Via Everything Is Terrible (Or maybe it's the other way around. I get confused by all this WWW Dot Com Stuff.)

A Really Graphic Homebirth

We're Not Judging You, Pinky Swear

Did This Woman Commit Suicide Because She Couldn't Breastfeed?

10 Year Old Burned By Tanning Bed

Best of FameCrawler - Week of May 15th

Whit Honea — Fri, 15 May 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Tom Cruise Pressuring Katie For Another Baby?

Dirk Nowitzki's Fiance Arrested?

Comedian Wanda Sykes & Wife Alex Welcome Twins!

Jada Pinkett Smith a Lesbian?

Julie Bowen Welcomes Twin Boys

Mary Stuart Masterson Has Reason to Smile!

Manny Ramirez Busted!

Chyler Leigh Welcomes Daughter Anniston

Sean Penn Still Dating Natalie Portman, Robin is Pissed!

Kate Gosselin's Heartbreak: Jon & I May Separate

Look, Look, It's Another Octomom Story

Jon Gosselin Shelled Out Big Bucks To Buy Mistress Presents

When Mommy Becomes Mom

JeanneSager — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:04:00 GMT

I never thought I'd be that sappy kind of mother. You know the type. She buries her face in old onesies when she finds them at the bottom of the closet and doesn't come up coughing from the scent of mold growing on super-old spit-up stains.

OK, I'm NOT that kind of mother.

But I am the kind who hates being called "Mom." I prefer "Mommy," thank you very much.

I just realized it recently, when my three- (almost four-) year-old stopped, looked at me and said "Moooom" in a voice that sounded almost teenaged. No, I decided, Mom is not for me. At least not yet.

As long as she is still saying "Mommy," we are pre-pre-menstraul, pre-pull that skirt down so it covers SOMETHING and pre- Lady, you may have been on earth for several decades, but you know nothing about life.

My colleague Madeline laid out the Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mother and all their male alternatives discussion last week, but I realized there isn't just one in most families. If yours is anything like mine, you went through at least two names for your parents, maybe three or four.

I'm still on the first name, and I'd like it to last a good bit longer. Call it a little girl desperate to grow up and a mommy desperately trying to hold on to time.

Image: Amazon

Classic Mother Songs For Mother's Day

Brett Singer — Sun, 10 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

There are lots of songs about moms, some with "mother" in the title. "Mother" by Pink Floyd, for example. But that song isn't really about mom.

However, "M-O-T-H-E-R", written by Theodore Morse and Howard Johnson in 1915, certainly is.

M is for the million things she gave me.
O means only that she’s growing old.
T is for the tears were shed to save me.
H is for her heart of purest gold.
E is for her eyes, with love light shining.
R means right, and right she’ll always be.

And what about the Charles Coleman classic from 1914, "Your Mother Is Your Best Friend After All"? ("When your days are dark and drear-y / Moth-er does not grow wea-ry...")

Unless you have a fondness for early 20th Century tunage, or happen to be very, very old, you probably aren't familiar with these musical portraits of momhood. Lucas Gonze, an accomplished musician and computer programmer, wants to change that by transcribing and recording these songs so that current and future generations can enjoy and play them.

Lucas posts both music that he discovers as well as his own renditions of public domain work on his site SoupGreens.com. A few months ago I noticed that he was working on a series of "mother songs", and Mother's Day seemed like the perfect time to share them with you. Here is an interview I did with Lucas via email, followed by links to the music, all of which can be downloaded, legally, for free.

Q: Why did you decide to do mother songs?
A: Mother songs are a lost genre sitting right under our noses. I had no idea they even existed, but there's a ton of them. And they're a cool idea because they go in the opposite direction of things like gangster rap and death metal. What could be less derivative than songs about how you should pay more attention to your mother? This genre is so over the top shameless about sentimentality that it's practically clawing at you, which is so out of style that it's original.
And I like the way that the primal emotional charge of motherhood draws you into a song. It's dynamic.
Also, I almost never do anything good for mother's day. So I'm hoping to not have to hear about how my brother, who is a total ass kisser, is a better son than me. Once in a while I'll send flowers via the internet but usually I just call my mom at the last minute, right at the end of the day when my guilt is bad enough that I have to do *something* or hear about it for the rest of the year.

Q: Why are you using old songs in the public domain?
A: I go back all the way to historical songs because copyright on compositions more recent than 1920 basically never expires, and doing a cover of a song under copyright means you owe seven cents every time somebody downloads it.

Q: Where do you find the tunes?
A: I learn them from early recordings or sheet music. In this case I transcribed a 1929 hillbilly recording and cross referenced it against a 1904 wax cylinder and an 1893 lyric sheet.

Q: Where do you find the sheet music or (gulp) wax cylinders?
A: It's a scavenger hunt all over the internet. In this case the cylinder was on archive.org, the lyric sheet was in a library folklore collection for researchers, and the 1929 recording was on a commercial CD.

Links:
Three mother songs on SoupGreens, via the Internet Archive:

Your mother wants you home, lad, by Robert Price (recorded on 78 RPM)
Snyder, does your mother know you're out? (1899, Performed by: George P. Watson, recorded on wax cylinder)
Blind Willie Johnson-Mother's Children Have A Hard Time (December 3, 1927, recorded on 78 RPM)

Another mom song can be found here: I’m Taking Care Of Mother (While Daddy’s Gone Away) by The Light Crust Dough Boys

Here is Lucas performing "A Widow’s Plea For Her Son" from 1893.

Lucas also links to a big page of mother songs at ParlorSongs.org.

This is just a small sample, of course. If you have any mother songs that you love, old or new, let us know in the comments.

And I almost forgot -- Happy Mother's Day!

Image: ParlorSongs.org

Hey Look! Mom Is On The Net!

Happy Mother's Day Cute Shots

Kitchenista: The Mother's Day Breakfast I Really Want

The Chubbiest Cheeks You Will Ever See

7 Mother's Day Gift Pitfalls

Nine Year Olds Performing Journey Song

10 Year Old Author Alec Greven Is Back

Best of FameCrawler - Week of May 8th

Whit Honea — Fri, 08 May 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Julia Roberts Shows Her Bikini Bod & Tattoo In Honor Of Her Kids (PHOTOS)

Jon & Kate - Jon Is Cheating -It's Been Confirmed - Photos

Elizabeth Edwards Has "No Idea" If John's The Baby Daddy

Jon Gosselin Tells EW Exclusively "I Did NOT Cheat!"

I'm Following You, Nicole Richie

Pregnant Heidi Klum Naked on Ellen - Video

Mary Stuart Masterson Has Reason to Smile!

'Idol' Winner David Cook Announces his Brother's Passing at 5K Race (VIDEO)

Matthew Fox Prepares to get UnLost with Family

Jenny McCarthy To Get Her Own Talk Show?

Ed Burns and Christy Turlington Are Not Selfish

Kate Gosselin To Address Rumors About Jon?

Best of FameCrawler - Week of May 1st

Whit Honea — Fri, 01 May 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Details Revealed About SJP Twins: Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Her Surrogate!

Rosie O'Donnell's Marital Spat Gets Twittered By Neighbor

BREAKING: Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick Expecting Twins!

Gavin Rossdale Had A Secret Romance?

Portraits of the Artists as Young Men - Before They Were Famous

Wolverine Goes to Disneyland

Sarah Jessica Parker - Baby Bump On Display

Patton Oswalt Welcomes a Baby Girl

Brangelina Started Because Jennifer Aniston Is A Secret Lesbian?

Jennifer Aniston Adopting A Boy!

Best of FameCrawler - Week of April 24th

Whit Honea — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 20:00:00 GMT

David Beckham's Victoria Tattoo Is Misspelled

David Kellerman -CFO Of Freddie Mac Commits Suicide

Photos Don't Lie: Angelina & Brad Did THIS

In Which Tom Cruise and John Travolta Will Ruin Movies for Our Children and Our Children's Children

Geri Halliwell Reveals Her Dark Past

Guess the Baby Bump!

Celebrity Guess Who: Name the Mom Edition

CBS' Julie Chen Pregnant!

Octomom Nadya Suleman is Ready to Add to The Family, AAACK!

Madonna's Ex-Chef: She's A Self-Centered Mother

Best of FameCrawler - Week of April 17th

Whit Honea — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Pete Wentz Posts Photos Of Baby Bronx's Nursery

I was Right - Heidi Klum is Pregnant

THIS Photo Is Why Joel Madden Loves Nicole Richie!

Controversy City Continues: Levi Johnston Dishes More About Palins

Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady and 'Their Son' On the Beach

There Is a God: Leaked Nude Pictures of Hugh Jackman! (PHOTOS)

Farrah Fawcett Near Death?

Suspect Arrested in Killing of 8-Year-Old Sandra Cantu

Hugh Laurie Says "My Children are Perfect"

Mel Gibson's Wife Files For Divorce (PHOTOS)

Tragedy Strikes Katie Holmes and Family

Jamie Foxx Trashes Miley Cyrus On His Radio Show

Best of FameCrawler - Week of April 10th

Whit Honea — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Uncle Jimmy Fallon Uses Twitter to Fight Slight

Jon & Kate Plus 8 - Was Jon Given A Sports Car For Another Season?

Tennis Pro Lindsay Davenport Hoping for a Tomboy

Gwyneth Paltrow: Shampoo Is Harming Our Kids

Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady and 'Their Son' On the Beach

Pete Wentz Plays With Strippers, Sends Ashlee Home With Bronx

Spike Jonze Has Potty Training On The Brain: Everyone Poops Video

Sarah Michelle Gellar is Pregnant

Update: Jon & Kate Gosselin Talk About Their Marriage Rumors!

Controversy City Continues: Levi Johnston Dishes More About Palins

Octomom - I'll Never Take Government Assistance, Oops I Lied!

Nicole and Joel's Spur of the Moment Wedding Ruined by Zac Efron's Family - Video!

Best of FameCrawler - Week of April 3rd

Whit Honea — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Tori Spelling's Weight Drops To 98 LBS (PHOTOS)

Exclusive - Jon & Kate Plus 8 to Battle Nadya Suleman and the Octuplets on Dancing With the Stars

Jenny McCarthy Weighed 200 Pounds?

Jennifer Garner Needs To Take Care Of Herself

First Photo of Octomom With Six of Her Octuplets

Carson Daly Strolls with Son

Alison Sweeney's Post-Baby Body

American Idol's Alexis Grace Comes Home to Daughter

What Did David Spade Do On American Idol? (VIDEO)

Anna Nicole Smith's Father Blames Howard Stern

Best of FameCrawler - Week of March 20th

Whit Honea — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Natasha Richardson - The Sad Story

Katie Holmes is Pregnant!

Remembering Natasha Richardson (Photos)

Watchmen's Patrick Wilson and Wife Expecting Second Child

Update: Natasha Richardson Declared Brain Dead and Taken Off Life Support

Natasha Richardson: One Last Faint Hope?

Octomom- Welcome To The Neighborhood, Now Get Out

Jade Goody's Obituary Already Published?

Natasha Richardson Funeral, Celebrities React To Her Death

Is Martin Lawrence Dead?

Natasha Richardson Dead

Casey Anthony Obsessed with Skull Images after Caylee’s Disappearance

Cole Gamble — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

In the time after Caylee Anthony disappeared, her mom, Casey, began collecting photos of skulls and sketches of skeletons kissing. This discovery comes after the Orange County Sheriff's Office released about 1,100 pages of interview reports and photos this week.

Caylee Anthony, who disappeared in early June, was not reported missing until a month after she vanished. Police records show the images of skulls and skeletons were posted to Casey Anthony's online photo account on June 26. The reason for Anthony's interest in the images is still not clear.

The Most Awesomely Epic High School English Paper of All Time

Parents Name Their Baby "World Crisis", “Circumcision”

Musical SpongeBob Rectal Thermometer. Fun for Your Kid’s Butt?

Even in the White House, Sasha and Malia Still Have Chores

Report: Octuplets Mom Used Sperm Donor, IVF for All 14 Kids

KeriF — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 12:03:00 GMT

The Huffington Post is reporting, via Momlogic, that the 33-year-old mother of octuplets born recently in California used sperm donated by a friend to conceive the eight babies using IVF. A neighbor told Momlogic that the woman was single and conceived her first six kids with sperm by the same friend, then apparently had the remaining sperm frozen and used it again for the octuplets.

According to the neighbor, who wanted to remain annonymous, "From what I heard she likes kids, she wants a jillion kids. She even lied to the doctors who impregnanted her."

I'm not sure what lie you could possibly tell a fertility specialist to convince him or her to implant eight embryos in your young uterus, especially after said uterus comfortably housed five previous pregnancies. Most experts agree that no more than two embryos should be implanted in a 33-year-old woman.

It has also been reported that the mother recently filed for brankruptcy and now lives with her parents in a 2-3 bedroom house.

This story just seems to get weirder and weirder. Why would a single mother want to raise 14 children on her own? Is her friend the sperm donor involved in any way with the children or helping support them? Is he even aware that he fathered 14 kids? And where is this fertility "specialist" that risked the lives of the mother and all eight of her babies by implanting eight embryos in the first place? Doctors at the hospital where she delivered say when she first came to them, she was already three months pregnant.

I think this mother lost her right to privacy when she engaged more than 40 hospital staff to help deliver her babies. Since she recently declared bankruptcy, I'll wager that her massive hospital bill will go unpaid. The doctors at that hospital deserve some answers.

Kids Taken after Mom Arrested for Airplane Spanking

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:32:00 GMT

So let's say you're on a flight and the woman seated in front of you spanks her two kids for spilling a drink and then curses at an attendant before throwing her drink on the ground in a fit of stupidity.

What should the mom's punishment be?

Publicly rebuked? Told to be quiet? Maybe cursed at behind her back?

If you said arrested on a charges of terrorism and jailed for three months while her children are placed in foster care and have an adoption pending, then you're the winner -- the only one in this sad, strange tale .

Welcome to America.

Let's hope it changes quickly.

The story begins with Tamera Jo Freeman and her Bloody Mary. Her two kids were being kids and accidentally spilled their mom's Bloody Mary into her lap -- apparently a big no no that merited three spanks each. (Maybe cut back a few instead, huh mom?) A flight attendant confronted Freeman, who then had a hissy, cursed and threw down her drink.

Not cool, but honestly -- terrorism?

She was arrested and only released from jail when she pleaded guilty to a charge of federal terrorism. Her kids were taken away and placed with foster parents -- who are trying to adopt them while their mother is free on parole but unable to leave her home state to visit them or attend hearings.

Is this really a fitting punishment for a mom who, OK, probably had one too many and did something stupid but not horrific? Of course not.

This is insanity.

The LA Times wrote the in-depth story on these crazy charges stemming from overzealous prosecutions under the Patriot Act and it's worth a look. For instance, one couple was arrested for essentially trying to join the Mile High Club.

(Mayday, Mayday! There's fornicating in the restroom!)

Another man who stripped naked on a flight, tried to open an emergency exit and had to be restrained, got off with no charges whatsoever. I'm not saying he deserved a terrorism charge -- he was drunk -- but it certainly seems more threatening than a mom getting all pissy and throwing her drink.

Even a lawyer involved in writing the Patriot Act said airlines are going too far -- hi flight attendant Amy Fleming, looking at you!

"A woman spanking her child is not as great a threat to aviation as members of Al Qaeda with box cutters. That much is clear," the lawyer told the Times.

So what do you think? Does the punishment fit the crime? Will you ever open your mouth on an airplane again?

Mom Saves Kids From Sinking SUV

Brett Singer — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 03:30:00 GMT

Kortni Peek is a mom and a former lifeguard, but I'm betting this is the biggest rescue she's ever done.

While driving to her parents' house in Leesville, Indianapolis, Peek's SUV ran off the road when her brakes went out. The car landed in an almost frozen pond. Her children, 2-year-old Ella and 8-month-old Maggie, were in the back seat.

Peek leapt into action, yanking the kids out of their car seats and carrying them out of the freezing water.

Later, her husband Caleb got a group of friends together. They managed to get the SUV out of the briny deep. Which is impressive, but less important than saving the little ones.

For a video report, click the source link below.

Source: WSFB.com

Read more:

Infant Twins Safe After Newark Carjacking

Puppies Save Lost Toddler

A Quiverfull Of Kids

Babble Talk: Points For Honesty

They Say – Raise Kids Who Care

Kids Stay In Car While Dad Gets A Lap Dance

View Video
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Kid and Kangaroo Best of Friends

JeanneSager — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 16:27:00 GMT

Why couldn't my mom have been a zookeeper? Yeah, she put food on the table, but having a mom in healthcare means hearing a lot about proper handwashing and absolutely no chance to nurse a baby joey abandoned by his mama!

Eight-year-old Lilly Dyson, however, hit the mom jackpot with a zookeeper mama who has been bringing home a baby kangaroo each day in an incubator designed to act like her mom's pouch.

The pictures of the Milly the joey and Lilly the kid are the kind you find of your mom's firstborn cuddling with your mom - the type that make you all indignant that it isn't you. Nose-to-nose, Lilly and Milly are obviously the best of pals.

The joey's mom fell ill earlier this month and was no longer able to carry her in her pouch. That was bad news for Milly - joeys generally spend at least nine months in mom's pouch before their first venture into the outside world (no wonder I've always felt a kinship with Kanga from Winnie the Pooh - we have nine months of carting kids in common). The joeys continue to spend a significant amount of time there until they are around a year.

Milly is still too young to come out of the incubator for anything more than limited amounts of time, and she requires round-the-clock care, with Lilly's mom Deb Dyson and her colleague splitting the bulk of the duties. But Lilly has gotten to lend a hand too - a rare chance, as this is the first joey to be hand-raised by the Melbourne Zoo (where Deb works) in more than two decades.

Baby joeys can be a handful (kind of like baby humans), but Deb says Milly has been a breeze - even with the one and four a.m. feedings. And Lilly looks like the luckiest kid down under!

Image/Source: Herald Sun

New Babies Wrapped in Holiday Stockings

Why They Shouldn't Eat the Snow

Babble Talk: It Was an Accident

Toddler Befriends an Orphaned Baby Orangutan

Rare Baby Rhinos Found

Three-Year-Old Captures Essence of Familial Relationships

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:06:00 GMT

This video was just the comedic relief I needed at the end of hectic holidays travels punctuated by highly concentrated family time. It's not brand new, but it's worth resuscitating.

You may think this three year-old is being inexcusably mean to his mom by telling her he only likes her when she gives him cookies, but as he keeps explaining his feelings about his mother, you realize he's just being refreshingly frank about the nature of family relationships.

Photo: simpsoncrazy.com

Working Parents Smackdown Part 2 – Dads With Jobs vs Moms With Jobs

Brett Singer — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Part 2 of Working Parents Smackdown (read Part 1 here). This time we focus on the workplace:

When men work late, they're just doing their jobs. Women are neglecting their children.

Women are often made to feel guilty about working late, sometimes by their spouses. Men probably are too but it seems like its easier to avoid.

Women who work risk "emasculating" their husbands. "Femininasculating" isn't even a word.

The "Mommy Wars" are definitely a thing. There are no "daddy wars."

If a woman works "outside the home" and has children, people ask "how does she do it?" If a man works, no one ever says "outside the home", and nobody wonders how they do whatever "it" is.

No matter what, mom is the first point of contact for any school issues. That's not to say I have a problem with that but that's what I see happen. This includes general PTA-type matters, actual issues such as coming to pick the kid up due to illness, and of course Mom's Night Out. (Note: I am NOT angling for an invite to Mom's Night Out. I vastly prefer Dad's Night In, especially when there is a football game on.)

These aren't necessarily sexism or something-ism. It's more of an assumption of gender roles. Which is technically sexism. But it doesn't feel quite as insidious as, say, discrimination in the workplace. Of course, these assumptions can easily translate into more dangerous actions in a job setting, such as when a woman is passed over for a promotion because her boss assumes that she will eventually leave her job to have children. So maybe it is the same. I don't know.

I do know that the last time my friends teased me for being a stay at home dad (who, for the record, works) I was able to silence them by saying, "Have fun at the office on Monday, guys." Haven't heard any teasing since then.

Last word: I find it infuriating when anyone gives a woman a hard time for being a primary caregiver. (Although I use the term frequently, "staying home with the kids" is kind of a silly term once the rugrats are old enough to go to school or even daycare.)

Last word number two: Feelings of emasculation are in the brain of the man. That doesn't mean that the feelings are invalid, nor does it mean that there aren't women who can be cruel and try to make their menfolk feel small. But often the issue is in the guy's head. (It was with me; that's a topic for another time.)

Last word number three: I hereby vow to look up the meaning of the word "last".

Image: edmbookstore.com

Matt Lauer Talks To Sarah Palin In The Kitchen

Teacher Has Affair With Student, Parents Say Keep The Door Open

Grown Kids Try Forcing Dad To Divorce Second Wife In Court

They Say – Most Toys Are Toxic

Store Refuses To Make Cake for Toddler Adolf Hitler

Kelly Mills — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:31:00 GMT

Oh, the hardships of being a white supremecist. Heath and Deborah Campbell tried to get ShopRite and a local grocery store to make a birthday cake for their three-year-old, named Adolf Hitler. And they actually wanted the cake to say "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler" (I guess just using "Adolf" was out of the question, hmmm?) But apparently they are so persecuted that the stores refused, though the grocer did offer to leave room for their own inscription. The story has some awesome quotes, like Deborah lamenting how sad it is the store can't make a cake for a kid, and Heath saying, "Other kids get their cake. I get a hard time. It's not fair to my children. How can a name be offensive?"

Um, yeah. I have no idea. Oh, and believe it or not, ShopRite won't make a cake for their two-year-old either. Her name? JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. Oh boy. By the way, Wal-Mart is willing to do the cake.

A psychologist quoted in the story says he believes the names will cause problems for the kids later in life. Hmm, ya think? But he also points out that the parents' views are kinda likely to damage the kids too. Oh, and that any problems they face in school later "would be icing on the cake." Get it? Icing? Riiiight.

Of course Adolf and siblings live in a house decorated with swatstikas, but the Campbells insist the swatstika "doesn't really have a meaning. It's just a symbol." Just a name, a symbol, and a few kids who are gonna have a rough road. Seems like an inscribed cake might be the least of it.

First Black President Triggers Rise in Hate Crimes

Mom Gets Hate Mail for Ending Kids Thanksgiving Party

Working Parents Smackdown Part 1 - SAHD vs SAHM

Brett Singer — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Definitions:
SAHD = Stay at home dad
SAHM = Stay at home mom

I've been thinking about some of the differences between these two types of parents. (See also Part 2, Dads With Jobs vs Moms With Jobs.)

Now:

At a party, SAHDs are asked, "What do you do?" SAHMs are not.

If a woman chooses to be a SAHM, she is:
- a lazy throwback
- not fulfilling her potential

If a man chooses to be a SAHD, he is:
- making a sacrifice
- taking a break from work

Men who stay home are doing something great for their wife and children. Women are just, you know, doing what they're supposed to do.

SAHMs are "homemakers." SAHDs are "musicians."

Men who stay home with their kids are special and unique. Women are ordinary and perhaps even bad for their gender.

To sum up: women, whatever you do, you are wrong. If you work, you suck. If you stay home, you suck. Guys: whatever you do, you're OK! Rock on! Write that novel! Play that funky music, SAHD!

I'm exaggerating somewhat, but I'll put it out to the crowd. Am I exaggerating? If so, how much?

Image: theonlymanofthehouse.com

Matt Lauer Talks To Sarah Palin In The Kitchen

Teacher Has Affair With Student, Parents Say Keep The Door Open

Grown Kids Try Forcing Dad To Divorce Second Wife In Court

They Say – Most Toys Are Toxic

Do You Have an Easy Bake Oven in Your Vagina? (by Miriam - one of the greatest blog post titles ever)

Announce Your New Addition With Panties: Male Perspective

Brett Singer — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 02:00:00 GMT

Sometimes they make it too easy.

This product pitch came in via email with the subject line, "Now this is one way to break the news!!" Let's lapse into cheeseball marketing mode for a moment:

Hey gals! Are you looking for a creative way to tell your hubby that you've got a bun in the oven? Well have we got a product for you!

Moody Mamas has introduced a product that's certain to take the edge off of the news that he's no longer the most important person in the house! He likes ice cream, right? Well, our Strawberry Storkcake and Feelin' Illa Vanilla may LOOK like ice cream cartons – but they're not! They're empty! Except for a pair of super-sexy panties! That's right – PANTIES! Because nothing says "We're having a boy" like the words "It's a boy" emblazoned on your nether region!

OK, I’m back now. Sorry about that.

Here's a more straightforward description: a fake ice cream container. You get your choice of Strawberry Storkcake or Feelin' Illa Vanilla (get it? Because you'll be feeling ill soon). When your husband opens it up, he doesn’t see ice cream – he sees panties. Panties that say, "It's a boy" or "It's a girl." On the front and on the back. You know, in case he misses the subtlety of it all.

Come to think of it, the straightforward description isn't any better.

The pitch we received promises that "it will take him a minute to figure it out!" which is probably true if he is (a) really really dumb or (b) not that dumb but doesn't understand what the hell you're doing. They also suggest that moms-to-be could "get right to the point and model a pair for him..trust me- he'll be surprised!" I imagine he would be. Just not in a good way.

The packaging is about as funny as an "I'm not as think as you drunk I am" t-shirt. Here are the ingredients of the Feelin' Illa Vanilla: "Big Belly Bombshell, 25%; Hungry Hottie, 25%; Queen of Quease, 25%; Growing Goddess, 25%." Here's an image of the label:

I take it back. The t-shirt is funnier.

I imagine that a woman could even be a little offended by this. "Queen of quease"? (For a female perspective, check out Jeanne's post.) I have no problem with off-color or inappropriate humor, but this isn't funny. As for the sexy factor, it doesn't do it for me. I'm all for spicing up a marriage. But what's wrong with just, you know, telling your spouse? I suppose this is more "creative". Kinda.

If you want to order one of these products, click here. However, the Moody Mama web site doesn't seem to agree with the PR message we received. You can buy the It's A Boy Undie ("Low rise (under belly) modal maternity undie with soft lace trim, bow accents; diamond appliqué; sold unpackaged,") here. The Stork-Cake faux-ice cream container is here, but seems to include only a generic "mama undie." I tried to figure it out for you but my head started to hurt. Who came up with this idea?

But hey -- maybe I'm missing something. Is it "hot" to combine news of a birth with tacky undergarments? Am I missing the hilarity and genius of the entire endeavor?

Here are a few images to help you decide. I highly recommend enlarging them to full-size. Provided you can stand to look at them. The butt shots are particularly funny/scary/disturbing/tell me what word you would use.

Images: MoodyMamas

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