Strollerderby : memoirs

Six Word MOMoirs -- Memoirs For Mom

Cole Gamble — Sun, 11 May 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Brett brought you Mom in One Word. Now you have six. If you are familiar with the six word memoirs from Smith Magazine (as complied in Not Quite What I was Planning) here is a mother's day bent. Smith is looking for six word memoirs for Mom this mother's day. Here are a few to get you started:

Naps became the most precious minutes.

Stretchmarks are the roadmap of life.

I really miss seeing my feet.

Could be poop, could be chocolate.

so love him when he's sleeping.

Every day is like groundhog day.

Alright, that should be enough to get you going. If you're a mom, write your six-word memoir below. If you know a mom, write a tribute. It only cost you six words.

Babble Talk: Weighing in on Candy Spelling

Jen Chaney — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:32:00 GMT

If you saw Candy Spelling's essay on Joan Crawford, which appeared yesterday on Babble.com, you probably immediately clicked in search of the answer to the question: "What's she say about her daughter's book?"

Candy Spelling, wife of late TV drama king Aaron Spelling, ostensibly wrote the piece about the damage done to Joan Crawford's reputation by her daughter's memoir -- and the subsequent movie adaptation -- Mommie Dearest. Spelling bemoans the fact that Instead of thinking "Oscar winner" when we hear Crawford's name, we now think, "No wire hangers ever!" But of course the subtext to all this is Spelling's own heartbreak over her daughter Tori ("Donna Martin graduates!") and her recent book, sTori Spelling, which delves into all the ritzy-gritty details of her childhood and life as a star of "Beverly Hills, 90210."

The elder Spelling only makes reference to the book in one telling paragraph that appears well into the piece. For your convenience, I have reprinted it here: "One of my protective friends said she wished I had a Charlotte Chandler when my daughter's book, sTori Telling, came out recently, but Tori's book was not a Mommie Dearest. Her childhood recollections vary from those of the rest of the family and the many friends who were around during those years. The fact that the media focused on her childhood complaints, not the many positive experiences of her life, made me sympathize even more with poor Joan. Parents learn early that mothers and fathers are convenient targets for criticism; but there's nothing quite like hearing a totally revised version of your daughter's childhood on a television show. At least Joan missed the heartbreak of hearing strangers and outsiders discussing her life."

So Mommy Spelling, who reportedly reconciled with daughter Tori only a year ago, seems to be frustrated with her little girl once again. Now, I have not read sTori Spelling and, frankly, I don't plan to. But based on common sense about families, my guess is that Candy Spelling probably made some mistakes as a parent, mistakes that profoundly impacted Tori S. I also would guess that mom and daughter remember these mistakes in very different ways.

That's the problem with memoirs: At least one loved one winds up feeling slighted or misrepresented by what shows up on those pages. I'm not saying Tori is wrong about everything and Candy is right. I am saying the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. And when there appears to be long-standing ill will between the two that both are still struggling to overcome, a memoir like this can't help much of anything, except perhaps Tori's bank account.

Lastly, I am guessing that the people who care most about Tori's memoir are: Tori and Candy Spelling. Most Americans, I suspect, would be just fine living their lives without hearing about every little thing that happened in the Spelling home. Being a mother now myself, I appreciate the hurt Candy Spelling must feel in a way I certainly could not have in pre-mommy mode. But she can take comfort in this: sTori Telling ain't Mommie Dearest. Faye Dunaway isn't going to play her in a campy '80s movie. And if they haven't already, most people will forget that Tori ever wrote that book in the first place.

P.S. "Donna Martin graduates!"

Photo: Babble.com

Decades-Old Twins Study Made Many Siblings Strangers

Madeline Holler — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 19:05:00 GMT

I am a sucker for reports on research using identical twins subjects. Observing the physical and psychological similarities and differences are the way we get closest to teasing apart those two great forces that shape who we are as humans: nature and nurture.

So I listened carefully to the recent NPR report featuring adult identical twins who, from birth, were among a dozen or so identical siblings in a study that would never, ever be allowed today. The repercussions are huge, the study design unimaginable, and, practically most conflicting of all, the notes and information and possible results of the study are stuffed away in a file cabinet somewhere.

The doctor behind the study is still alive, by the way. And unapologetic.

Okay, the study: Paula Bernstein and Elyse Schein were both born in New York City. Both women were adopted as infants and raised by loving families. They met for the first time when they were 35 years old, shortly after they had found they were "identical strangers." These two shared a womb, and even played together until they were four or so months old, while being observed by psychologists and doctors who took part in this study.

The sisters were intentionally adopted to separate families. Neither girl grew up knowing she had an identical twin. Schein first learned she was a twin while searching for information about her biological mother.* Sometime later, Berstein got a call from the adoption agency who informed her she was a twin and her twin sister's name.

The two have written a memoir “Identical Strangers” about their lives, their reunion, the fallout of the study, and meeting the doctor in charge. The sisters say they have a close relationship. They can’t imagine how the study got approved, yet still can’t imagine not having the lives they had.

Some of the other identical siblings in the study – also raised separately – have reunited as well. But four of the subjects likely still have no idea they may have an identical sibling out there.

Their story is a great listen – the radio interviewer talks to the doctor! – and likely a great read (there's an excerpt on the NPR site).

More recent laws in New York state require siblings be adopted out together.*

* Corrected. A previous version said that new state laws in New York require adoptions records to be open to adoptees. That is incorrect.

Babble Talk: Elisha Cooper's Crawling

Gwynne Watkins — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 21:58:00 GMT

One of the first "Bad Parent" pieces we ran on Babble was an excerpt from Elisha Cooper's memoir Crawling: A Father's First Year. Here's a paragraph from that piece, entitled "Face-Off: Fights I've Had With My Three-Month-Old":

Zoë starts crying and I walk outside to, in theory, calm her. I lose my composure in an instant. It's not quite clear to me why. Even as I half-heartedly sing, let her suck my arm, point out the moon, she knows I am upset and everything I do just makes her madder. She starts hyperventilating. She's glaring right into my eyes. I'm glaring right back. It's like we're facing each other from either end of a dusty street in a Western, only instead of pistols we have similar genes.

This week, Crawling came out in paperback with a snazzy new cover. You can order it here.