Strollerderby : madoff

Morning News -- Layoffs and Vampires Edition

Brett Singer — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Friday, Friday, Friday! Let's get to it, people.

"Obama to Set Benchmarks in Fight Against Militants." So sayeth the New York Times. What's that conversation like? "Have we found Osama Bin Laden? No? Okay, what else you got?" Another headline from the Times: "Pakistani and Afghan Taliban Unify in Face of U.S. Influx." Oh goody. Sounds fun. Not.

Here in North America, it's layoffs, layoffs and more layoffs -- Google (200 people laid off), the New York Times (100 people laid off and most remaining employees taking a 5 percent pay cut), and the Canadian Broadcasting Company (800 jobs cut, hoping to sell some assets). Google? Really? That's not good.

Speaking of Canada ("C'mon, say 'about' one more time. Please?"), Garth Drabinsky was finally found guilty. Drabinsky was the head of Livent, the producer of the Broadway shows 'Ragtime' and 'Kiss of the Spider Woman.' I admit that I was somewhat giddy to read news of Drabinsky's legal demise; I used to work in theater and was fascinated by the brazen way he left the United States to avoid prosecution. Apparently Garth and his co-hort Myron Gottlieb pulled a Max Bialystock and kept two sets of books -- one fiction, one non. What I've never completely understood about schemes like this is why they keep them both. Wouldn't it make more sense to only keep the fake books? I don't want to give anyone ideas or anything. No word on whether or not Garth is wearing a cardboard belt. (I hope someone gets that reference.) Amazingly, Garth has been appearing on a Canadian reality show called "Triple Sensation" where he and some other people "look for young stars who can sing, act and dance." But not add. That's not needed. Despite Garth's conviction, there will be a season 2. I might need to find that show. (If you want to know the whole saga of Garth, click here.)

If you live in New York and ride public transportation, prepare to pay more. The MTA voted for a big fare increase and cuts in service. Hey, at least it's green.

Speaking of New York, Mayor Michael Bloomberg has resorted to quoting Popeye the Sailor. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

By the way, if anyone didn't know what I meant when I referred to funny car radio ads, here's an example. Except that this ad is for church. "Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" Seriously. Check it out. Consider this your "Moment of Zen", Daily Show style.

And speaking of Comedy Central: I like Stephen Colbert, but naming a space station after him is stupid. The faux-conservative's fans "stuffed the virtual ballot box with 230,539 write-in votes, overriding the four official choices NASA offered," according to Wired.com. NASA can change their mind, but why did they put themselves in this position? Not exactly rocket scientists over there, are they? Oh. Oh! Never mind.

Finally, a fun little item from Gawker. Students at the Boston Latin School have been spreading rumors that the prestigious institute of pre-higher learning is infested with vampires. According to MTV.com, "The headmaster [had become] concerned that some students' safety might be jeopardized, particularly if they were accused of being members of the undead." (Maybe private school doesn't always offer the best education.) Police were called. Parents were alarmed. But school officials promised that it's not true. Then they turned into bats and flew away. (Note: They didn't really turn into bats. Although the rest of the story, as far as I know, is true.)

Thanks for joining me on Morning News the past two weeks. I'll be handing things back over to Madeline, but will continue to do a daily round-up of newsy goodness at DaddyTips.com. Have a great weekend, don't take any wooden nickels.

Image: SXC

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Morning News -- Twitter Makes Nothing But Is Worth Something

Brett Singer — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Welcome to Thursday! Yesterday I outed myself as one of the millions of Americans who knows zip about college basketball. I guess that's what happens when you go to a Division III school. On the plus side, I received a quality liberal arts education that allows me to do… well, this.

We'll start with something fun -- a Queens man played the lottery using the last three digits of Bernie Madoff's prison number and won $1500. The Daily News points out that this is a "16,000% return on his $9 investment - far more than even Madoff promised his bilked investors." It turns out that 501 other people hit a winner with those same three numbers (0-5-4, if you want to try it out yourself).

Back to the NCAA for a moment: Yahoo! Sports released a report claiming that the University of Connecticut violated recruiting rules in their contact with former player Nate Miles. Lots of people claim that the NCAA's rules are too confusing to follow, but I have an easy solution: hands off. Oh, but what about the shoe companies? They can contact the players. Well, under my plan, they can't. No one can. Amateur is amateur. If you want to play college ball, you can't accept any gifts from anyone at all. Ever. End of story. Of cause, its not that easy, but the solution isn't "make the rules go away", which is what some nudniks are saying.

Speaking of nudniks, somebody bilked Apple out of 9,000 iPod shuffles. What, you couldn't get them to send you a Touch? Piker.

A Chihuahua named Pebbles saved her owner from freezing to death when the two were stranded in the mountains of Wales. Beverley Burkitt is a dwarf, small enough that the little dog could keep her warm until help arrived. I still prefer bigger dogs, but this is a sweet story.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says that our "insatiable demand for illegal drugs" is partly to blame for all of the violence happening in Mexico. "I feel very strongly we have a co-responsibility." Well, it takes a village.

Democratic Senator Benjamin Cardin would like to help newspapers survive by letting them "restructure as nonprofits with a variety of tax breaks." Since many of them are losing money anyway, sure, why not? The bill had no co-sponsors as of Tuesday. BusinessInsider thinks that there are some papers that will survive even without Cardin's bill. Personally, I like newspapers, but I'm forcing myself to read more news online beacuse that's where it's going, whether I like it or not.

Twitter is going to start trying to make actual money, although maybe they shouldn't bother -- despite having no revenue at all so far, the company was recently valued at $250 million, according to Julia Boorstin at CNBC. Potential sources of cash are "the ability to search what people are saying in real time", and since such searches are valuable, the ads placed next to them are also valuable. And Twittter CEO Evan Williams also wants to start "charging companies who use the site to reach customers, helping them better target and communicate." I know it makes me sound like a luddite, but sometimes I hate the new economy. Would somebody please go back to making money by making stuff that people want to buy?

Finally, Monster vs. Aliens opens tomorrow. If you have kids, you'll probably be seeing it. Let us know what you think.

That's all for today -- see you on Friday, folks.

Image: SXC

Husband Loses Job, Wife Loses Respect For Him

UPDATE - Josef Fritzl Sentenced To Life In Psychiatric Institution

Oprah Gets It Right On Chris Brown

Soldier Gives Birth At Army Barracks

Heath Ledger's Daughter Gets His Oscar

The Dr. Phil And OctoMom Show

Morning News: Civilian Death Toll Nears 600 in Gaza

Shannon LC Cate — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:22:00 GMT

I have always been interested in peace and justice issues, but I admit, since becoming a mother, I am cut to the bone when I see young children suffering helplessly due to war. The situation in Gaza is getting worse and worse, with nearly 600 civilian deaths so far and about half of them women and children. I don't know what we can do about it but I hope someone does something and soon.

Stateside, Barack Obama has been meeting with democratic leaders already, trying to round up early support for a huge tax break he'd like to see implmented by early February. It includes $500 for folks making under $200K and breaks for businesses. I'd say how very Republican of him, but I think, rather, he is a shrewd politician doing exactly what he needs to do to gain bipartisan support for his programs. But anyway, he is certainly no socialist. If only!

Bernie Madoff has, apparently, been spreading his own largess abroad. It seems he's given about a million dollars worth of jewelry to various family members and friends since posting his $10 million bail after his recent arrest. His sister-in-law might have worn your life savings to a New Year's Eve party, yo. As a result, prosecutors in his case are calling for the court to revoke his bail and put him behind bars until his trial. If he was a petty street criminal he'd certainly be in jail. I say bring out the cuff for Bernie.

Say what you will about autism denial and Scientology, we have nothing but sympathy for John Travolta and family. There was some speculation that Jett died of a head injury, but the autopsy has found it was a seizure.

Sorry to be such a downer today folks. It looks like the world is a mess this morning. On one final tragic note, it seems that Brown Pelicans in California are showing up ill, disoriented, bruised and dead in strange places and no one knows why. Maybe they are just sad.

Morning News: Hillary Clinton Ready to Wield Power; "Caribou Barbie" One of 2008's Top "Buzzwords"

Shannon LC Cate — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton is already vying for more power, before even starting her job as the new Secretary of State, the New York Times reports:

"The steps seem intended to strengthen the role of diplomacy after a long stretch, particularly under Secretary of State Colin L. Powell, in which the Pentagon, the vice president’s office and even the intelligence agencies held considerable sway over American foreign policy."

Areas of expanded power for the State Department may well include economic policy in times of global crisis (ie: nowish).

As the economy tanks, shoplifting is on the rise according to another report in the Times:

"...retail security experts say the problem has grown worse this holiday season. Shoplifters are taking everything from compact discs and baby formula to gift cards and designer clothing..."

Wait a minute there! As Bob from Sesame Street might ask, which one of those things is not like the others? Sorry but cds, gift cards and designer clothes strike me as your run-of-the-mill teen rebel victims, but baby formula? If we can't feed babies we have a problem, folks. I say, let them have the formula.

It's beginning to look a lot like... Senator Al Franken will be a buzzword of 2009. What? You didn't know they were still counting votes in Minnesota? They are and currently, Franken is ahead by a whopping 48. It only takes one, right?

I gave you Caribou Barbie in the headline, here are the rest of the words-of-the-year.

And finally, I just have to ask, is it me, or is this woman really annoying? I mean, I know Madoff is a crook and all, but honey, it won't hurt you to learn to ride the subway or read a Domino's ad correctly like the rest of us mortals.

Strollerderby : madoff

Morning News -- Layoffs and Vampires Edition

Morning News - Spring Break Broken?

Husband Loses Job, Wife Loses Respect For Him

UPDATE - Josef Fritzl Sentenced To Life In Psychiatric Institution

Oprah Gets It Right On Chris Brown

Soldier Gives Birth At Army Barracks

Heath Ledger's Daughter Gets His Oscar

The Dr. Phil And OctoMom Show

Morning News -- Twitter Makes Nothing But Is Worth Something

Morning News - Spring Break Broken?

Husband Loses Job, Wife Loses Respect For Him

UPDATE - Josef Fritzl Sentenced To Life In Psychiatric Institution

Oprah Gets It Right On Chris Brown

Soldier Gives Birth At Army Barracks

Heath Ledger's Daughter Gets His Oscar

The Dr. Phil And OctoMom Show

Morning News: Civilian Death Toll Nears 600 in Gaza

Morning News: Hillary Clinton Ready to Wield Power; "Caribou Barbie" One of 2008's Top "Buzzwords"