Strollerderby : list

The Stick's In, But What Toys Did They Miss?

JeanneSager — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:32:00 GMT

When I saw Jen's post on the stick's induction into the Toy Hall of Fame, I have to tell you - I didn't give a hill of beans about the stick. I just wanted to know what else was in there. As someone who has been informed by Babble readers that she spends too much time thinking about toys (yes, my dears, I have a three-year-old), I had to check this place out.

Since a drive farther upstate was out thanks this thing called a nursery school schedule (when you're footing the bill you suddenly care about attendance; I know, very materialistic of me, but what are you gonna do?), I made my visit online.I've got to admit it, they've done their homework. The game I drooled over until Christmas morning the year I was five - Candy Land - is right there along with the Tonka truck I commandeered from my little brother and the Legos that left permanent dot-shaped indents in the pads of my parents' feet.

But they need to pick up the pace with these inductions. Trivial Pursuit. Hot Wheels. The bubble mower. The Sit n Spin. I've got my list all ready for the day I pack the kid in the car and race upstate to the Strong Museum of Natural Play. Who's with me?

Image: Hot Wheels

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Saks Fifth Ave Deep Sixes Libby Lu, Tween Girls Weep Rhinestone Tears

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Have You Brought Your Toys Out of the Closet for Your Kids?

Do You Play With Your Kids' Toys?

Ten Songs You Never Want to Hear A Little Kid Singing

JeanneSager — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:29:00 GMT

They're usually tuneless and missing half the words, but most kids haven't learned to limit the singing to the shower and the car. They'll sing anywhere, chances are they'll sing anything, and you'll never turn as red as the time your three-year-old asks in sing-song, "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"

So to save you from finding out how maroon those cheeks will go, we offer up the top 10 songs your kids shouldn't be singing:

"Don't Cha" by the Pussycat Dolls: If his girlfriend looked like that, he'd get arrested.
"I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry: The taste of her cherry ChapStick's just plain yucky. Tell 'em to stick to Bonne Bell. (Check out Urlesque's collection of pubescent YouTubers taking on some girl love).
"Fat Bottom Girls" by Queen: Sure they make the rockin' world go 'round, but Mommy's got one of those bottoms and she's no naughty nanny. At least not while the kids are still awake.
"I Want Candy" by Strangelove (originally), Bow Wow Wow, Aaron Carter, etc.: Trust me, they'll get a toothache if they try to rip open this package.
"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mixalot: Oh my Gawd, Becky, your kid's got booty on the brain. Just hope he doesn't get sprung.
"Milkshake" by Kelis: The sweet treat goes sour fast when a kindergartner's calling all the boys to her yard and telling them she'll have to charge. News flash: they'll learn soon enough that there's no need to buy the cow when that milk flows for free.
"Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" by Meatloaf: The wedding DJ hits a button, and suddenly the ringbearer's running to the dance floor to sing the baseball song. We're betting he won't see this home plate for a good ten years.
"I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones: The catchiest song . . . EVER . . . hurry, hurry, hurry, clamp a hand over their mouths, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. . . sometimes we wanna put our kids on drugs . . . ba-ba-bamp-ba-ba . . .
"You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC: She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean, but she's got nothing on Matchbox. Start explaining that and their minds will be aching, so let's just agree to keep this one under wraps. Shake on it?
"U + Ur Hand" by Pink: The ultimate F-off song (or should we say jack off?) isn't the ultimate in kid entertainment . . . yet. Those hands will get hairy soon enough.

Image: Improventures

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Australian Family Says They Were Served Poop Ice Cream

Do You Play With Your Kids' Toys?

15 Things Overheard at the Preschool Halloween Parade

editors — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:45:00 GMT

Ed. note: Today's list is brought to us by Babble contributor Tammy La Gorce.

Sometimes, the world according to Peanuts makes the most sense. An example: If the fall calendar at Lucy, Linus and Charlie Brown’s preschool included marching in a Halloween parade, the parents wouldn’t have shown -- Snoopy would have heckled Charlie Brown from the sidelines while a crowd of large-headed children and a few adults speaking the language of “woh” looked beatifically on. By the time the whole thing wrapped and special snack was served, everyone would have dispersed to talk a little philosophy over candy corn and caramel apples.

Life, of course, is way messier than Charles Schulz prepared us for. Which is why you should count on not only attending the preschool Halloween parade, but also on fellow parents moaning every step of the way.

Herewith, 15 things that parents bitched about at last year’s parade. Will anything other than an intervention by the Great Pumpkin himself make this year’s any different? -- Tammy La Gorce

1)“If Aidan’s mom had told me he was going to go as Iron Man, I would have sent Matias in something different.”

2) “I’m trying to get a decent shot of my daughter but the princess hat on the girl in front of her is blocking everything.”

3)“I told Mrs. Daggett to check the Velcro on that puppy costume. Look at it -- it’s going to fall off him by the time they round the corner.”

4)“Did you find someplace to park? I parked three blocks away. Barely made it. There’s way too many grandparents in the parking lot.”

5)“It’s freezing out here. Couldn’t they have moved it to the auditorium this year?”

6) “It’s such a nice fall day. Why do they have to do it inside where we can’t see anything?”

7)“The class mother in Miss Sarah’s group brought Dunkin’ Donut holes. I thought that wasn’t allowed.”

8)“Why do they have to start at 10:30? Do they think nobody works?”

9)“They should let the kids stay in their costumes all day -- Sydney’s going to scream holy hell when they try to take her Abby Cadabby headband away.”

10)“Isn’t she a little young to be watching ‘Hannah Montana’?”

11) “I wish they wouldn’t give them snack right after the parade. Do they really expect them to eat their lunch in an hour?”

12) “There’s your son’s pumpkin painting on the wall, right there at eye level. I can never find my kids’ -- they always hang them too high.”

13)“The guy they bring in to film these things has the shakes, did you notice?”

14) “Look at all the Indiana Joneses, Doras and Pikachus. What ever happened
to being a ghost?”

15) “If they invite us into the classroom when it’s done, there is no way my kid is going to let me leave."

Five Nonsense Kids Character Names Explained

JeanneSager — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 20:27:00 GMT

Sometimes the names they give to our kids’ favorite characters sound like they had a kid in on production. I mean, Pikachu? I say Gesundheit.

But listening to Mike Myers explain the Yiddish origins of everyone’s favorite ogre on NPR’s Fresh Air last week made me wonder – are all characters like onions? Do they all have layers? Thanks to my anal retentive side and too much time to spend in front of my computer, I offer up the first edition of children’s character names explained.

Shrek: According to his creator, his name came not from the swamp but the Yiddish word for “scary.” We’ll trust the former Linda Richman on that one – after all, if we ask too much she might get a little ferklempt.

Pikachu: I always thought the yellow Pokemon had a rodent-look to him, and no wonder. Pikachu loosely translates to “Electric Sparkling Mouse” in Japanese. Known for storing electric in his puffy cheeks and a tail that looks more like a bolt of lighting shooting out of his rodent rear, we could boogie woogie woogie with that description.

Lightning McQueen: Since we’re on the subject, lightning is an obvious name for a fast car. But the source of Cars’ sexy red racer’s surname is often mistaken. He was dubbed “McQueen” not for bad boy actor Steve who spent many a movie shifting gears but for Pixar animator Glenn McQueen, who died in 2002 from skin cancer.

Nemo: The movie that proved even a scaredy clownfish can take on the big bad ocean, Finding Nemo is technically named for “no one.” At least that’s the Latin translation of “Nemo.” We’ll take it from the seagulls – he might be no one, but our kids wish he was “mine, mine, mine.”

Winnie the Pooh: A secondhand name is just fine for a bear of very little brain. Winnie is short for Winnipeg, the hometown of a Canadian soldier who gave his black bear of the same name to the London Zoo. That’s where author A.A. Milne and son Christopher Robin (natch) met the friendly female who Milne later immortalized in print. Pooh, by the way, is also secondhand – it was the moniker of the real Christopher Robin’s pet swan.

More to come . . .

Image: Dan-Dare

Best of FameCrawler: Week of May 2nd

Whit Honea — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair Photos: Annie Leibovitz Speaks

Oprah Reveals Scoop On Tom Cruise Interview

Jessica Alba- A Bra Would Only Slow Her Down

Lourdes Looks Like A Young Angelina Jolie?

Claudia Shiffer and Daughter Clementine

Melissa Joan Hart Has Her Pre-Baby Body Back

Kate Hudson Tops People's Most Beautiful People List

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Married...and Expecting?

Courteney Cox Getting Baby Help from Friend

More Halle Berry Post Baby Body Pics!