Strollerderby : liposuction

Mom Sells Newborn Twins to Fund Liposuction

JeanneSager — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:32:00 GMT

Here's one way to get rid of the post-pregnancy pounds: you can sell your newborn twins to the tune of nine thousand pounds (about $13,450 US) and splurge on liposuction. Personally I'd go for eating less and working out more, but I'm just old-fashioned that way.

A Belgian mother of seven (including the twins) has been brought up on charges in an alleged rent-a-womb scheme that conned several Dutch couples out of money they thought was paying for Sonia Ringoir to carry their baby. More women have said Ringoir invited them over for "insemination parties," where she gave them a syringe full of her (now estranged) husband's sperm to use to inseminate themselves.

In case all of that isn't strange enough for you - Ringoir eventually gave birth and opted to "give" the twins to a friend. She can't be charged for giving away her babies, but she is facing fraud charges for taking money from the Dutch couples and not providing them with a baby. The Belgian government is also charging Ringoir with treating her babies in a "degrading," manner. She faces up to five years in jail if convicted.

Then there's that liposuction thing. Her new boyfriend says she was being pressured by her ex to have her body rebuilt. The ex has come out saying liposuction was at the heart of the scam.

How about just not getting pregnant again? Or, hey, here's an idea: accepting the extra junk in your trunk and turning your entrepreunerial eye toward a way to make life better for your other five kids.

There I go again, being an old-fashioned parent.

Image: Daily Mail

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10 Things I Am Doing to Get Ready to Watch the Oscars

Karen Murphy — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 21:31:00 GMT

I don't have much time, and neither do you! Uh, you do want to look and feel your very best when you turn on the TV tomorrow to vicariously suck in your stomach and march down that red carpet, right? I mean, ~~millions of people will be watching you~~ maybe one or two random kids may pay you attention beyond "I'm hungry" or "come wipe meeee!" Never mind that. I know you want tomorrow's Oscars to be your best ever. And there's still time!

1. Well, maybe not for lipo. Not enough recovery time. I'll just have to suck it up. Er, in. Suck it in.

2. However, a One Stitch Facelift can be done at lunchtime. Oh, and for an extra $5000-7000. Whatever. Totally worth it.

3. Botox my pits. Sweat? Not me. So what if I can't move my arms?

4. As long as they have the Botox out, they might as well shoot some into my feet. So I can wear the shoes, you know. Those 5-inch Jimmy Choos? Yeah baby!

5. Facial, of course. I think I can work one in after the facelift and while they're Botoxing my pits.

6. Hair! How long does a weave take?

7. Uh, you think it's too late to start a Pilates program? Or maybe I can work some plyometrics in, between the Botox and the weave. You think?

8. I haven't eaten this week, so that counts as diet, right? And the blue M&M's have less calories I think. And mojitos are practically calorie-free.

9. Ughgghwht rrgghhht. Oh. Sorry. Those damn bleaching trays. Can't talk.

10. My lash stylist tells me that mink is in this year. I hope so because last year's fox lashes made me look like a damn raccoon.

There. I can relax! All done. Yes, I've got my Xanax. Thanks for reminding me.

You ready?

Photo: img.dailymail.co.uk

Is Surgery-Free Lipo Really The Answer To My Prayers?

Amy S.F. Lutz — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 21:25:00 GMT

2007 was a depressing year. With the release of studies suggesting that exercise does little to aid in weight loss, I was resigned to having to actually eat less to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Then I found out about lipodissolve, a series of injections of a chemical synthesized from soybeans called PCDC that really and truly dissolves fat.

Sounds easy, right? Los Angeles women certainly seem to think so. They're lining up to pay thousands of dollars for what cosmetic surgeons call a "miracle cure."

Naturally, there is a downside. No one seems to know what happens to the fat once it dissolves. Does it end up up in the kidneys? liver? muscles? Not even doctors know. And several women have reported complications following lipodissolve. Infections, lumps, that kind of thing. Maybe that's why it's currently illegal in the UK and other countries.

Still, it's a fantastic dream, right? A few shots, and presto! The bikini body I never even had before I had kids. I'll definitely be following this story.

Post-Partum Must-Have: The Mommy Makeover

Karen Murphy — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:28:00 GMT

There's a new "mother's little helper" in town, and it isn't drugs. Nope, it's surgery and lots of it, because those badges of motherhood have turned into badges of shame and if you're the one caught without a tummy tuck then you won't get invited to the party. That's right, everybody needs a "mommy makeover."

As much as I acknowledge my own struggles with body image and secretly want the $30,000 surgery trifecta of tummy tuck/lipo/breast lift, it peeves me no end that something as drastic as surgery, as this blatant non-acceptance of one's own body in whatever shape it happens to be in, has become so pervasive.

So it's not the fact that women are flocking to plastic surgeons in droves for this sort of thing (the rate rose 11% for women ages 20-29 from 2005-2006) that bothers me, it's the fact that now it's sort of expected. Sure, we may poke fun at the extremes taken by the Real Housewives of of Orange County, but at the same time we want to be them, want the sort of surface perfection we see in them.

Oh, and here's the other thing that irks me. Its not only for themselves that women are willingly going under the knife in multiple procedures to re-create their bodies as if to proclaim they never had kids, but they are doing it to please someone else: the husbands. In describing one woman's experience: 'As for her husband, that's a no-brainer. "He loves it."'

Would you consider having surgery to erase the toll of motherhood? Or have you already?

Liposuction and Gastric Lap Band for 13-Year-Old: Child Abuse?

Kelly Mills — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 16:56:00 GMT

Brooke Bates had liposuction at age 12. She has now gained 35 or the 40 pounds back, so her mom took her to Mexico so she could get gastric band surgery. Why Mexico? Because doctors here won't do that kind of surgery on anyone under 18. They also have to have a BMI of at least 40 or be twice their ideal weight. Brooke's mom believes the surgery is the only way to keep her daughter from overeating, and obviously that's real important here. And of course, some folks are calling this child abuse. Brooke's mom and sis commented on Back in Skinny Jeans about the whole thing, and her mom said, "Just because majority of Doctors say that this procedure (liposuction) is dangerous, how the heck would they really know because they have never taken that much weight from the patients that they see. THEY SHOULD GIVE IT A TRY."

You know, I'm actually sympathetic (well, towards Brooke) only because I remember how hard it can be to be anything other than thin and cheerleader-y at that age. But sympathetic doesn't translate to thinking this is a good idea. Obviously surgery is a drastic measure and a temporary fix without lifestyle changes, and as a mom I can't imagine putting my kid under the knife for anything less than the real crucial stuff. Being skinny doesn't qualify for that. And what message does it send to your kid? Anyhow, I'm not really interested in giving this a child abuse label, but I think it's sad and twisted. If you wanna call it like you see it, fine.