Strollerderby : lactivism

5 Things That Make You a Breastfeeding Nazi . . . And 5 Things That Don’t

Miriam Axel-Lute — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 17:01:00 GMT

Ah, breastfeeding and formula. It seems like forever since we’ve been able to talk about infant feeding without immediately getting sidetracked into the explosive meta discussion about how we should talk about it, or, more often, how we shouldn’t.

The ability to discern between truth-telling and guilt-tripping seems to get a little hazy to all involved sometimes. In the interest of lancing the boil I present the following cheatsheet on how not to become a breastfeeding Nazi—and how not to see them where they are not.

Part 1: 5 Things That Make You a Breastfeeding Nazi

1.   Making disparaging comments to parents giving bottles to their kids.
I shouldn’t even have to say that this is Not OK, and I think it is rarer than some on the defensive would like to make out, but apparently strangers hissing “Shame on you, you should be breastfeeding” does happen. So let’s just get this straight: You don’t know what the story of that parent/caregiver and baby are (or even what’s in that bottle), so shut the eff up. Besides, even if you somehow knew that someone really could be breastfeeding, do you really think that being mean is the way to change their mind?

2.   Refusing to acknowledge that sometimes breastfeeding is hard and sometimes it sucks.
I’m well convinced that with the right post-partum protocols (baby to breast within an hour of birth, for example), support, and information (and maternity leave) that breastfeeding could be a lot easier for a lot of people than it is. But the fact is that (a) most mothers aren’t in that ideal situation and (b) even in ideal cases sometimes milk comes in late, latches aren’t formed right, infections happen, medical conditions lower milk supply, etc. and those things can be miserable. Pretending this isn’t the case is rude to the women who’ve struggled really hard—both the ones who persevered through it and the ones who eventually prioritized other things.

3.   Quoting discredited studies.
Guess what? Breastfeeding doesn’t raise your baby’s IQ. That finding failed to control for parental IQ and when they did, the difference went away. I didn’t know that until recently either, but now that you know, have the integrity to drop it from the plenty-long list of advantages to breastfeeding.

4.   Confusing lactivism with promoting one-right-way-to-parent.
I will never forget reading an otherwise decent article critiquing all the subtle ways in which our culture promotes bottle feeding when suddenly the author was on a condescending tangent about the insufficiently committed mothers who had this selfish need to occasionally have a little time to themselves without their kids. I could just hear a thousand undecided pregnant women saying “Well, if that’s what breastfeeding is about, forget it.”

5.   Blaming individuals, not systems.
The major cause with low breastfeeding rates in the United States is not selfish parents. It’s a stew of bad hospital protocols, bad family leave policy, misleading formula marketing, badly crafted parental education, overworked and undertrained labor and delivery nurses, unsupportive workplaces, and on and on. If we all keep that in mind we might even be able to work together.

Part 2: … And 5 Things That Don’t

1.   Encouraging an uncertain or undecided mother to give it a try/keep trying.
This is different from berating someone who has already made a decision and it doesn’t count if it’s done in such a way as to fall under #2 or #4 above. But if someone truly isn’t sure, offering encouragement, suggestions, information, data, or contacts that might help them succeed in something this big is a service not a judgment. This extends to critiquing misinformation or “balanced” pro-con literature that parents have been given or offering to talk to an uncertain spouse.

2.   Trying to get the word out about how some common breastfeeding problems can be alleviated by different nursing patterns.
Talking about breastfeeding “management” tactics to address problems like lactose overload in no way blames mothers for the problems. It certainly sucks to learn afterward that there might have been something in your control that might have helped make breastfeeding work better, but we all know this isn’t inborn knowledge. You can’t withhold the information from those who want it so you don’t offend those who didn’t have it when they could have used it.

3.   Talking about the statistical risks of routine formula feeding.
This is the hot, wet heart of it all. Yes, there are plenty of perfectly healthy formula-fed kids. They are just statistically less common. Yes, fear of illness doesn’t have to trump every other consideration.

But neither of those things mean we should stop talking about the real and stark differences in health between the two options on a statistical level: Two to five times the rate of SIDS, twice the death rate from diarrhea, six to ten times the rate of necrotizing enterocolitis, higher rates of respiratory illness, leukemia, asthma . . . Post neonatal infant mortality rates in the United States 26.6 percent higher. We’re not actually just talking about fewer annoying ear infections here.

We need to talk about these numbers not in order to make anyone feel bad, but in order to organize for the systemic changes that would actually make breastfeeding a viable option for more people.

4. Opposing formula marketing in hospitals.
Formula is an important option to have on hand when breastfeeding doesn’t work for many reasons. In that way it’s a little like a drug, or at least a nutritional supplement. Hospitals don’t hand out anti-cholesterol meds to people with healthy hearts; they shouldn’t hand out formula as a matter of course either. It’s misleading and it implies that doctors think it is a medically equivalent option and it isn’t. (Same goes for opposing misleading formula ads.)

5. Disliking the term “breastfeeding Nazi.”
Aside from this being yet another case of the term Nazi being tossed around like the Nazis were merely cross-patches, not mass murderers, it implies that there is an organized movement to be horrible and judging to all parents who don’t toe the line, instead of a loosely-knit network of people and organizations trying to advocate for a public health measure, some small minority of which sometimes behave in mean or counterproductive ways. The same can be said of both sides of nearly any cause people get passionate about. It’s time we got back to having the real conversation.

Related Posts:

The great breastfeeding Strollerderby Smackdown: Boob Nazis vs Breastfeeding—Why Not? vs Damned If You Do, Doomed If You Don't
Breast is Best 2.0: Pumping in Public

More by this author:

Pregcellent: Are Breastfeeding Extremists Endangering Babies?

Kelly Mills — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:03:00 GMT

The Daily Mail has this typically hysterical and annoying headline for a recent story: "No, breast ISN'T always best for baby...whatever the extremists tell you". Ba ba buuuum. That's right, lactation consultants pose major threats to infant health and welfare! Talk about selling a story. But then the article goes on to cover the views of Clare Byam-Cook, a retired midwife who has helped loads of people (including Kate Winslet and Helena Bonham-Carter--celebrity nipple alert!) learn to breastfeed. And frankly, I think she has some good things to say.

Byam-Cook says some midwives are so dogmatic that they simply push breastfeeding, meaning moms with problems doing so end up with underfed and dehydrated. She also believes not all women can breastfeed or produce sufficient milk, and that in some cases a bottle of formula is not equal to giving your baby poison. And she notes that in addition to teaching women proper breastfeeding technique, we ought to give some instruction in how to bottle-feed and properly prepare formula, just in case.

I'm somewhat suspicious of the idea that there's a zealous conspiracy of midwives, and I don't particularly love many formula makers either. But as someone who spent twelve hours in the hospital with a wailing infant, waiting for my milk to come in, I was saved by a nurse who helped me rig a breastfeeding tube on my boobs to deliver, yes, formula. My kid went on to breastfeed for two years (which was one year longer than I wanted, honestly, but hey, we do what we do.) And while I think it's more the media than the midwives who paint breastfeeding as the only option for a mother who loves her baby, I'd love to see more respect for people's choices. Sure, breastfeeding should be encouraged and taught and we ought to be able to do it in public. But some people try and just can't do it, for any number of reasons. It isn't always feasible, and you shouldn't have to reap massive judgment from others for pulling out a bottle. Oh, and while we are at it, could we get some bottles that are free from plastic chemical freakiness?

Joe Francis Will Make "MILFs Gone Wild" Film

Kelly Mills — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:03:00 GMT

Joe Francis, creator of the frat house staple, the "Girls Gone Wild" video series, announced he's gonna make a new video. This time, the subject isn't coeds on spring break, but instead, hot moms breastfeeding their babies. Hmm, why the new subject matter? Francis says, "The sexy mom is every guy's fantasy." Okaaay, but could it have anything to do with the fact that Francis was convicted last month of filming underage girls, and banned from shooting in the Florida spring break locales of choice?

Some in the media have already expressed outrage that Francis would use footage of mothers openly nursing their kids in public, claiming that it further fetishizes breasts and makes it harder for women to gain legitimacy for nursing in public. I totally disagree, and now I'm all irritated by the hysteria. Look, I doubt Francis' motives are pure, but puh-leeze. The more times we see boobies in public and on video and television and so on, the more likely it is that folks in restaurants and airplanes will stop trying to ban the moms who are simply doing the most natural thing in the world. The "Girls Gone Wild" series has already made tit-flashing kind of expected in many circles, and if lactating mothers get to go out for a nice dinner because of a sucessful video series, then so be it. And we can't very well moan about being banned for breastfeeding on one hand and decry the Francis ta-ta focus on the other. Repeat after me: There's nothing wrong with surviving on naked breasts, whether the person who profits is Joe Francis or an infant.

Putting Nursing to the Test: Decision Overturned

Kelly Mills — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 20:02:00 GMT

Last week a Massachusetts Supreme Court judge overturned the decision that denied Sophie Currier additional break time to pump during her medical board exams. The more attentive among you may actually remember that Currier was initially refused in her request to get an additional 60 minutes of break time during the nine hour exam so she could express herself and avoid what we like to call, "rock-hard-hot-screaming boobies." She took the matter to court, and lost, but just won on appeal. If the comments here from my original post on the subject are any indication of the overall sentiment among y'all, some folks think it was a very bad call.

Dahlia Lithwick from Slate examines why there's been such silence on the issue, since this could be interpreted as a victory for feminism, and I agree, because there's a couple things going on. One of the biggies is the fact that many accounts report Currier also gets additional time to take the exam based on disability, namely ADHD and dyslexia. That accommodation is not contested, but again, if you checked those comments, you'll see there's even some, um, mixed feelings on that. And I think this is part of the problem: she's asking for a number of things. Does it reek of a sense of entitlement? Does she want special treatment? And other nursing moms have managed to do the exam with the allowed break time: how come she can't just buck up? Is she just a big ol' whiner?

Okay, here's my opinion, and you can feel free to disagree all you want: I just don't see how 60 minutes of break time gives anyone an unfair advantage. She can't change her answers once she breaks from the test. She's not going to be able to learn years' worth of information in that break time. Again, as long as she doesn't use anatomy notes as breast pads, or claim her study partner is necessary to help her express her milk, I can't see how this compromises the integrity of the exam. Because it seems like the 45 minutes of break time everyone else gets is relatively arbitrary, and likely has more to do with the need to shuttle a certain number of folks through the exam than anything else. And her need to pump, while it might not be life-threatening, is still legit. It's not like she wants an extra 60 minutes because she has a hangover and needs a nap. For some people, going more than a few hours hurts, as I found when my infant miraculously slept through the night one time and I woke up feeling and looking like I had been run over by a milk truck. So I just don't get how her 60 minutes invalidates all the test results, as one of the medical board folks commented here.

I don't think it's fair to ask a woman to defer her exam because she has a nursing baby. Maybe some of us would choose to do that, but we don't know her situation, and if she can get through med school while pregnant, I say, "You go." And honestly, even though on some level I get why people find her request so problematic, I think the one of the benefits of having folks ask for things like this is that it makes us look at the way things are done now. I see much more sympathy for people who suffer through the current systems than people who say, "Nope, that part is not going to work for me, but you still need to let me in." You could make the case that what Currier is doing is more important than invoking her right to whip out her boob in a restaurant, and I'd hate for there to be silence on this one.

So 'course I'd love to hear from you.

Photo: Associated Press

Uh Oh, We Did a Bad Thing With Our Breastfeeding Humor

Kelly Mills — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:01:00 GMT

Ahem. It all started off in such a lighthearted way, joking about lactation. I mentioned that Sophie Currier could spray the medical board with breastmilk "Rambo-style" after they rejected her request for extra break time to nurse during an exam. Then, when Bill Maher said moms who breastfeed uncovered in restaurants are lazy and attention-seekers, there was, um, a mention of squirting him in the eye with breastmilk in the following comments. But let me be very clear: I don't think any of us ever intended for lactation to be used as a weapon, and certainly not in a criminal enterprise. Unfortunately, that is what happened. A woman stopped by a security guard for shoplifting sprayed him with her mama milk. Let's keep our fingers crossed she doesn't say, "I got the idea from the internet." Put your guns back in your shirt, and let's all be friends.

The theory is that perhaps she was trying to get her DNA on the guard, because I guess shoplifters sometimes do that so they can claim they were assaulted by the guards. Uh, okaaay. Oh, but get this: "Graham Collins, of security company Citywatch, said: 'It started off with people picking their noses until they bleed and then accusing staff of assault.'" Eeeeeeewwwwww! Okay, now given the choice between being sprayed with breastmilk and being smeared with snot-blood, I'd take NEITHER, but if I had to, I'd go milk. And now there's a comparison between self-inflicted nosebleeds and lactation. Great. Like the conflation with masturbation wasn't bad enough.

Wouldn't it be ironic if she was shoplifting formula?

This story came via Jezebel, who got it from Salon, who got it from Cookie, who got it from Metro. Yeah. Maybe we can all go out to coffee some time. And the milk-squirting idea? You can't pin it on us. We'll never break.

Breastfeeding Sucks in Canada Too!

Madeline Holler — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 18:33:00 GMT

O Canada. I'm confused.

I thought everything was better up there, up north, Canada. What with your clean air and your bacon and your quaint, cooing vowels. You've got all the good bands, all the funny comedians, all those adorably feisty French-speaking separatists.

And Canada, don’t make me bring up healthcare – the envy of North America. Free surgeries! Free consultations! Practically free cholesterol drugs! Can I be you, Canada?

Then I read this, my understandably smug northern neighbor, and I am stunned. Canada, I no idea that you hate breastfeeders too!

Hate, I don’t mean hate (do I?). Fear, loathe, barely tolerate, misunderstand? I don’t know. But you’re sounding an awful lot like the sad lot of us parents down here in the blushing, close-minded, breasts-are-for-waitresses U.S.

See, someone at one of your YMCAs asked a mom to stop nursing poolside. An Edmonton Facebook member lost her account after posting pics of herself breastfeeding. Another mom felt like crap for choosing formula over breastmilk for her child. Worst of all, a Canadian university researcher on mothering says “it takes courage to breastfeed … it can make you quite vulnerable.” In Canada! Women need courage to breastfeed in Canada? That’s so American!

The article touches on other modern mom issues and, let me tell you, I thought I was reading the local paper. Lack of support for your choices. Pressure to go back to work but no help with daycare. Cloth vs. disposable. Attachment vs. cry-it-out. Canada, quit copying!

Listen, I know we in the U.S. push our bad TV and endless wars on you, Canada. But do yourself a favor. Leave the prudishness, the body discomfort, the love-the-breast-hate-the-function contradictions to us. That’s something we Americans do best.

Blogs Abuzz When Bill Maher Slams Lactivism

Kelly Mills — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 23:29:00 GMT

Ooooh, did you catch Bill Maher's monologue about the Applebee's nurse-in and lactivists? I've never been a huge Maher fan, cuz I like my political commentators hot like Jon Stewart, but this monologue was kind of especially dumb. He made 400 predictable jokes about how he likes to see boobies but not as food for infants (ha ha, stop, you are killing me.) But then he went in a nutty direction and many bloggers are not happy. Of course there was stupid stuff like when he compared breastfeeding to masturbation (here we just get "changing a tampon") but frankly, I was not super irritated by the yuk yuk boobies jokes until I heard what came next.

He said that the need to breastfeed in public and not cover up was essentially just women being too lazy to plan ahead. All the moms can laugh in unison now. Perhaps next time we can just seat him next to a crying infant who has decided to eat at a different time than usual again and see what happens. Then he went on to say that this was a case of showing off, that moms just want the oohs and aaahs of other people because they made a baby--"something a dog can do."

There he totally hit the nail on the head, didn't he? I mean, I had no desire to actually get out of the house or anything when I ate in restaurants; I just wanted a little attention. In fact, that's why I chose to feed my baby with my exposed tits in the first place. I mean, yes, it's recommended by every doctor ever and it's good for the kid, but of course that was secondary to my desire to have total strangers jump in my face and say, "Good job on the procreation!" Why, I know that when I walked into restaurants people looked thrilled to see me and my infant, and I'd hoist her onto my shoulders, whip out my boobs, and say, "Gimme some sugar, folks!"

"Only in America do women think they deserve a medal for having a kid." And only in American and some other fairly repressed countries is the sight of a women's breast so terrifying that infants aren't supposed to get hungry. Those titties are for our titillation, and nothing else! Don't you sometimes wonder if a breastfeeding mom would be told to cover up in a strip club?

Now, he closed the whole thing by saying that lactivism is a narcissistic cause, and it's representative of our diluted commitment to other causes. Whaddya think?

Lactivism and Rosa Parks: Um, What Are We Fighting For?

Kelly Mills — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 16:02:00 GMT

Breastfeeding rights have been the big stink on the Derby lately. We had Chag's post on the mom kicked out of Applebee's, and then this post written by some freak yesterday about the mom who wants additional break time during medical exams to pump. And don't ever let us forget the controversy that was Rachael's take on formula give-aways. There's obviously some mixed feelings here, and some back-and-forth. I know I'm all over the map, and here's why.

First of all, like Chag, I had a problem with Applebee's evictee Brooke Ryan saying being asked to cover up with a blanket was "like telling Rosa Parks she still had to sit in the back of the bus, but we'll give her a blanket to make her more comfortable." Yeah, it's a soundbite, and really, I don't think a blanket is necessary or should be required. But Rosa Parks? Um, Parks wasn't fighting for the right to sit at the front of the bus, she was fighting against the systematic discrimination against an entire group deemed inferior by those in power. The lactivism in this case was about...fighting for the right to nurse in public. A right we should totally have, and any right you don't protect gets taken away. But it's still not the same as what Parks stood for.

Now, are lactating moms also discriminated against, and could we advocate for that? Sure, and no doubt the mom working two jobs who can't even imagine breastfeeding would love some of our social support. Unfortunately, feminism is rarely easy. Here's some more thorniness: when my baby was a week old, my husband and I went to a nursing supply store to buy a pump and bottles. The lactation consultant/salesperson was horrified. "You can't bottlefeed yet. It could result in nipple confusion! Why would you want to do that?" When my husband replied, "Well, for starters, I'd like to be able to bond with our baby this way too," she said, "Well, you just can't be selfish like that. This is her special time with the baby." Too bad I wanted to share.

See, exclusively breastfeeding with no pumping or bottles meant not only was I really the primary caretaker in the early days (a job I had hoped to share equally for all of our sakes,) it also meant a real struggle to introduce a bottle so I could go back to working outside the home, something I wanted and needed to do. And this small example is just part of a whole larger struggle I felt, when I read books like the Sears baby book that said I should stay home with my baby or I'd be doing her wrong. I felt this revival of the traditional view of motherhood, and again, supposedly it's the children that suffer. I was willing to risk nipple confusion because I wanted something different. And I believe in all kinds of choices in motherhood, and I don't believe kids are condemned to a second-class life because they got bottles or boobs or because their moms stayed at home full time or went out into the workforce. I'm not pretending to have the answers in all this, but sometimes I wanna talk about more than nursing in a restaurant.

Breastfeeding: It's the Law

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 14:28:00 GMT

Delta Airlines, Applebees, and other establishments have all lined up to tell the mommies to stop with the breastfeeding already. The Washington Post reminds us that to breastfeed in public is protected by law in 39 states (only 39 freakin' states??). So take that, you boobs-are-only-for-sex fanatics!! Then again, what about Facebook's poorly formulated decision (more than 9,000 Facebook members have joined a protest group) to ban "breastfeeding pictures."

Doesn't this poor company know that if you mess with a lactivist, you'll get mo-fo-ing schooled?

I'm with Kelly, I think the whole issue could be resolved (even by Facebook's puritanical standards) by instituting male breastfeeding (manfeeding??)...

Pump It Up: Breastfeeding Mom Goes To Court Over Exam

Kelly Mills — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:33:00 GMT

The National Medical Board has refused to give Sophie Currier additional break time during her nine-hour clinical knowledge exams so she can pump. Currier also requested a private room for the lactatin', but the board says she can use another testing room and the 45-minute breaks everyone else gets to express herself. The rooms have big windows to ensure no cheating goes on--so while Applebees doesn't wanna see your boobs, the Medical Board practically requires it. The mom of a four-month-old is taking the board to court. Currier did get some additional test time (she can take the test over two days) because of disabilities--dyslexia and ADHD. But nursing won't cut it for the docs.

Okay, so the lawsuit is one way to go about it, and I have to say, as someone who in another career advocated for disability accommodations, I still don't get how additional break time really gives anyone an unfair edge. I mean, if you know the material, you know it, and unless Currier claims she needs to bring in a photo of her baby pasted to a medical textbook in order for her milk to let down, I doubt she'll get any real benefit from the breaks other than the one she needs: a please-don't-let-me-have-exploding-milk-ducts break. But you know what I'd like to see? Have her go in to talk to the board in person, and when they turn her down, she could whip out her boobs and spray them all Rambo-style. Take that! Now that would be in-your-face lactivism.

Photo from the New York Times.

Forget the Nurse-In: Man-Boobs Can Save Lactivism

Kelly Mills — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 14:28:00 GMT

On Saturday, lactivists staged a nurse-in/out at Applebees after a women was kicked out for breastfeeding her baby there. (Though I have to say, getting thrown out of an Applebees could be a blessing in disguise. Those buffalo wings are naaaasty.) But while the chain is all of the sudden seeing more nipples than your average Hooters, I just wondered if there wasn't another way to solve the problem of breastfeeding discrimination.

And then I saw this, and it hit me: man-boobs.

See, it turns out that given enough prolactin, men can lactate. Now, the issue with breastfeeding has to do with the way this society sees boobies--as sexy, private things that should only be revealed on special occasions, like in the bedroom, or when filming an MTV beach special, or in Brazil. But your average male nips have no such issues attached to them. That's why guys can walk around shirtless on hot days. So why not have dads share the nursing duties? A little prolactin shot and let him take over in the restaurant arena.

Getting dads to nurse could have all kinds of benefits. Moms could get more sleep and less mastitis. And I have a feeling family workplace policies would suddenly get a lot friendlier, with an increase in pumping rooms and paternity leave. Men would finally know what it's like to look down and realize with horror that you have two big wet spots on the front of your shirt, and it ain't because you spilled your coffee. They'd also get more bonding time with the babies, and I imagine it could make parents feel more bonded as well: there's something about sharing chapped nipple stories that creates closeness.

So the new plan is for guys to start lactating, and for all of us to enjoy our restaurant meals in peace. Yep, I'm here to solve all your societal problems, one at a time.

Breastfeeding: So Controversial, It's Art!

Kelly Mills — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 15:30:00 GMT

Artist Rachel Valley is exploring issues in breastfeeding through photography in a show called MOTHER.CULTURE.ART. If you live in or near Auburn, California (all three of you) you can check out the opening on Thursday, August 9, 2007. The work came out of her own experience as a mom, "After giving birth to my daughter, I started my journey into mothering and breastfeeding, and I was overwhelmed with conflicting information and hostile opinions."

My goodness, there's really people out there hostile to breastfeeding? I'm telling you, there's a whole rise in milk jug art now. However, I did notice that not one of the photographs features this nifty little hat.

Woman Thrown Out of Store for Breastfeeding Wins Settlement

Karen Murphy — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 11:55:00 GMT

It's about time somebody who was photographed, thrown off a plane, thrown out of a restaurant, or in this case, escorted out of a store, all simply for breastfeeding, got revenge. Lass King won a $3600 settlement from Fossil after she threatened a lawsuit for being asked to leave Fossil's Manhattan showroom when breastfeeding her 8-month-old son.

Didn't Fossil hear that NYC Mayor Bloomberg wants breastfeeding? Maybe it's time for a nurse-in.

I know this has been done to death, but c'mon people, let's have a group vote on this: Is breastfeeding in public okay or isn't it? I'm willing to accept a majority vote here, but let's just all get on the same page, shall we? And understand me when I say "public": I don't mean that we'll be forced to cover up our babies with a blanket or an effing ugly weird hat or something. Not unless WE choose to.

But at the same time, if a true majority votes "no" on public breastfeeding, I will completely honor that.

Oh, and one more thing? Babies each get TWO votes.

Yet Another Breastfeeder Banished

Kelly Mills — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 12:31:00 GMT

Well, another mom got booted out of a restaurant for breastfeeding. It seems that many, many people are still not aware that sustenance for babies comes out of those things, too.

In this incident (one of about a bajillion) a woman was nursing her five-year-old in a Houston's restaurant in Florida when management told her to take her mammaries elsewhere. She slunk out to the car, fed baby, and returned when she was done. Later she learned that the restaurant had violated her rights, because in Florida, women have a right to nurse wherever they damn well please. "I'm humiliated," said the poor mom. "I really am. I am in shock."

Personally, I never would have been able to eat half a meal in a restaurant if I couldn't nurse my baby quietly. But we don't really have to spend a long time defending nursing here. I get that breasts are fetishized in our culture and some folks can't get over the dual nature of boobies. Here's the part that confuses me whenever this happens: don't people want to see naked breasts? Judging by the spam I get, lots must. There's whole magazines and movies devoted to breasts. This guy made a living by getting women to flash some nipple.

So here's my new strategy for lactating moms: whenever you have to nurse baby in public, just fling some Mardi Gras beads at the spectators and go about your business.

Update: That was sooo my bad. Yes, I meant five-month-old. But, um, I did it on purpose, to, um, generate an interesting discussion on the appropriateness of breastfeeding older kids... Yeah, that's it...

Another Mom Asked to Stop Breastfeeding in Public

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 12:29:00 GMT

Yes, it's another case of people who just don't get that babies get hungry and breasts are for feeding. A British mother was asked to stop nursing her six-month-old baby in a cafe by the owner who grabbed her drinks and told her to "get out." She was covered by a blanket and had not even started feeding her baby when she was asked to leave. She did protest as she was in a corner, covered up, but she was told other customers would be "offended."

Cafe owner Cyrus Ozdemir defended his actions by saying, "I can't have someone breastfeeding while another table is next to them eating." Ozdemir says he welcomes mothers and his cafe is very a kid-friendly spot, except, apparently, when babies are hungry. Ozdemir added, "At least she should turn away and do it in a proper way. She just argued with me while I politely asked her to leave."

I feel a nurse-in coming on. And rightly so.

[photo of cafe owner courtesy The News]

Thanks for the Mammaries: Breastfeeding as Revolution?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 17:25:00 GMT

Dancing around and flashing a nursing bra, Ginga Joy describes an enviable marital situation where the passion and flirtation apparently flourish despite (or because of) the dual-purpose mammaries she sports. I've been nursing my daughter for 22 months now and I've not ever thought about using them as part of a strip tease. Clearly, I could learn something here.

She goes on to lament the zealotry of breastfeeding that can leave even the most dedicated mama feeling seriously inferior if milk supply, sore nipples, or preference leads her to the formula aisle. But she also takes issue with how breastfeeding moms are lately picked on, sexualized, and shamed, vowing to reactivate her inner lactivist, to which I say "Amen!"

What is going on here? I understand that sometimes men use breastfeeding as an opportunity to take a peek, to which I say "Have at --and get an education while you're at it, you oversexed smarmrat." Other times breasfeeding in public is enough to shut down a coffee shop or an airplane. I'm usually a relatively modest person. I'm not inclined to flash my body around (well, most of the time) so I've always been a discrete nurser. But like Ginga Joy, I'm getting sick and tired of the "lose-lose" of the breastfeeding mother in the States. The Lactivist has a great shirt that says "Do You Eat in the Bathroom?" It makes me want to run over to the mall, sit in the food court, and give my daughter a nice long suck.

Nurse-In Hits Pennsylvania Mall

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 12:03:00 GMT

Hundreds of women showed up at a mall is Wyomissing, Pennsylvia on Saturday, but they weren't there to shop. They were there to bare their breasts in the interest of feeding of their children. The women were participating in a nurse-in in support of Leigh Bellini, who while nursing her six-month-old baby at the mall, was asked to go to a public bathroom or to her car.

Bellini was sitting on a bench with her stroller in front of her for privacy when security approached after receiving a complaint. When the family refused to move, security threatened to get the police involved. Mall management has since said the security officer was wrong and that the mall has no policy preventing mothers from breastfeeding.

Anyone that has breastfed or been closely involved with nursing women knows that it is possible to nurse without "showing anything," as Bellini said she was doing. And, if a bit of breast does happen to show, look away, people! Give that mom some privacy: she's feeding her child, not putting on a strip show. Hooray for Bellini for sticking to her guns, and to the women who took over the mall's center court in support of her.

Lactivist Gets Pork Board Apology

thezeroboss — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 18:34:00 GMT

Remember recently when the Wrath of Pork descended upon blogger The Lactivist? Lactivist writer Jennifer Laycock, in a satirical commandeering of the Pork Board's slogan "the other white meat", made shirts that declared breast milk to be "the other white milk." When the Pork Board sent a harsh lawyer-gram threatening all sorts of legal sadism, Laycock howled - and parenting bloggers the world over grabbed their torches and pitchforks.

Apparently, Pork knows when it's licked (or is that suckled?). Pork National Board CEO Steve Murphy has sent Laycock a personal letter of apology, As part of its mea culpa, the Board will launch a voluntary fundraising drive among its employees, with proceeds going to the Mother’s Milk Bank of Ohio. (Federal earmarking regulations prevent the board from making a direct donation; it's forced to spend most of its money on National Enquirer-style Web sites devoted to pork porn.)

Laycock is thrilled, and wants bloggers to spread the word as a demonstration that we can propagate good news as quickly as we can bad. Mission accomplished, ma'am.

Milkin' It: National Pork Schooled by Bloggers

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 19:02:00 GMT

Lawyers aren't generally accused of having a sense of humor. Case in point: the letter from the National Pork Board to Jennifer Laycock, aka: The Lactivist, who is being threatened with a suit for alleged trademark violations. Her humorous t-shirt, pictured right, is the cause of the kerfuffle.

Excerpt from the National Pork Board letter:

"National Pork Board considers your use of the slogan "The Other White Milk" to be a trademark infringement and also trademark dilution." Moreover, even were this use of the slogan "the Other White Milk" found to be not confusing, which we think is unlikely, this slogan nevertheless damages National Pork Board's rights in the famous mark THE OTHER WHITE MEAT. Because the slogan significantly dilutes the distinctiveness of National Pork Board's mark.

In addition, your use of this slogan also tarnishes the good reputation of National Pork Board's mark, in light of your apparent attempt to promote the use of breastmilk beyond merely for infant consumption, such as with the following slogans on your website in close proximity to the slogan "The Other White Milk:"

DAIRY DIVA

NURSING, NATURE'S OWN BREAST ENHANCEMENT

EAT AT MOM'S, FAST; FRESH; FROM THE BREAST

MY MILK IS THE BREAST

[emphasis added]

I have to agree with National Pork here. Obviously these shirts are promoting other uses for breastmilk. And reading these shirts gives me all kinds of ideas. As a breastfeeding mother, I can finally cash in on all this nutrient goodness. I'm opening a stand in my neighborhood today! The sign will read "Mama's Milk Stand: 3 Sucks for a Buck."