Strollerderby : jessica alba

Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 2)

Brett Singer — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

The Final Four! No, it's not March yet. This is the Final Four Celebrity Kid Names of 2008. Less exciting than college basketball, but hey, it's only December.

Here you go:

(You can read Part 1, with numbers eight through five, here.)

4. Ignatius Martin Upton
(son of Cate Blanchett and Andrew Upton)
This one isn't in the "that's not even a name" category, but it definitely isn't a great choice. The name "Ignatius" reminds me of Ignatius J. Reilly, the lead character of A Confederacy of Dunces. Ignatius (the character) is kind of a putz, to put it mildly. Still, not EVERYONE has read that book (although many people have) and there are probably other folks who were named Ignatius who were not putzy. And again, the middle name is good – Martin Upton actually sounds pleasantly British.

3. Bronx Mowgli Wentz
(son of Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz)
OK, this one is bad. And no middle name to fall back on. The only hope for little Bronx (sheesh! Poor kid) is if Ashlee and Pete come to their senses and change his name to something else. If that doesn't happen, Zowie Bowie (son of David) no longer goes by his given name; he's now Duncan Jones, although at age 12 he asked people to call him Joe. (His full birth name was Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones.) So lil' Bronxy can change his own name when he gets older. I'm sure Zowie Bowie sounded funny to ol' Dave in 1971, but he came to his senses later in life – his daughter with current wife Iman is named Alexandria. Lansky puts this one at #3, if I were making a list like this, Bronx Mowgli Wentz would be #1 with a bullet.

2. Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg
(daughter of Soleil Moon Frye and Jason Goldberg)
This one is bad, although I think Bronx Mowgli is worse. Again, at least the kid can go with Joseph. And while Jagger isn't exactly a great name, at least it's pretty easy to figure out who the kid was named after. Lansky really goes off on the former Punky Brewster this time: he says that he "had no idea that Jagger Joseph Blue was a girl" until he read the press release twice (twice! What nonsense. Bruce Lansky is a very busy man). Then he attacks the now-elderly Mick Jagger, saying that he does not provide an adequate role model "for a baby girl." (Bruce? Try decaf.) Then he says that "Soleil and Jason picked three names and couldn’t find one that’s likely to make their little girl happy," and caps off his mini-tirade by saying the following: "I find it surprising that a woman with two strange names…would pick three strange names for her daughter." I actually don't find it terribly surprising, especially if you consider the fact that Soleil's childhood had to be at least a little bit weird since she grew up on TV, and on a sub-par show at that ("Punky Brewster" isn't exactly "The Odd Couple"). Lansky does offer some useful info: "Soleil means 'sun' in French, so translated into English her name reads 'Sun Moon Frye'." Perhaps somebody's parents were smoking a little something when it was baby-naming time.

1. Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
(son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)
This is bad. Very bad. I think Bronx Mowgli is worse, but this one is really not good at all. Lansky focuses on what I think are pointless facts: that no one will know that, "Zuma is a beach in Malibu and that Nesta is Bob Marley’s middle name." If they did, would that make it better? However, Gwen Stefani is making big, big money – music, that fashion line, and endorsements, to name a few. So "I'm Gavin and Gwen's son" will probably go a long way towards dismissing the obvious name lameness. Maybe he can hang out with Knox Jolie-Pitt. They can console each other, each sitting on their own enormous pile of money, trying to decide how many women they should take home tonight.

Final comment: Obviously this is meant to be amusing. Having money and fame does not mean that a kid can't grow up screwy. But having money probably doesn't hurt, and let's face it – while a lot of these names are awful, most really aren't Pilot Inspektor-level awful. Not that it isn't fun to make fun of them. And let's not forget that having a funny name didn't stop a certain guy from becoming President of the United States. Perhaps one day we'll see the Bronx Mowgli Wentz / Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale ticket. Yes… we… can…

Working Parents Smackdown Part 1 - SAHD vs SAHM

Top Baby Names of 2008? Really?

Nine-Year-Old Lothario Gets Movie Deal

A Quiverfull Of Kids

They Say – Most Toys Are Toxic

Girly Gift Guide

Obama Name Suddenly Very Helpful For Speeding Tickets

Babble's Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide

Suri Cruise: Most Powerful Child On The Planet

Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 1)

Brett Singer — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

I want Bruce Lansky's job. I mean, the guy just sits around all day and talks about names. Not even deep etymological studies, although sometimes he goes there. It's really just baby names. As near as I can tell, this is a way to make a living. America is a wonderful country.

Anyway, Mr. Lansky has weighed in with a list of the Eight Worst Celebrity Baby Names of 2008. So from the home office in my, um, home, here we go:

8. Sunday Rose Kidman Urban
(daughter of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban)

This one doesn't seem that bad to me. At least not compared to some of the others. Maybe the kid starts going by Rose. Rose is a nice name. Sunday, not so much. Lansky says, "Apparently the name was chosen to honor a patron of the arts in Australia, but most people who hear or read the name will find it an odd choice for an American girl born on a Monday." Whatever, dude.

7. Honor Marie Warren
(daughter of Jessica Alba and Cash Warren)

Again, not that bad. Kid could use the middle name. Dad's name is "Cash." That's much worse. (Unless you happen to be a rapper. Then it's OK.) Lansky says that Alba and her beau will probably start using their daughter's middle name themselves at some point, saying "that’s why it’s so important to pick a “high-odds” middle name when parents pick a risky first name." Not a bad strategy I suppose.

6. Emme Anthony
(daughter of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony)

This time Lansky takes issue with potential pronunciation problems (say THAT phrase ten times fast), as well as spelling: "it’ll be misspelled ninety-nine times out of a hundred." Then he wags his virtual finger at the Lopez's (I say "Lopez's" because let's face it, Jen is in charge in that house): "That’s what happens when you pick an obscure variation of one of the five most popular girls’ names in the U.S. Emma would have been a much smarter choice." Except that this particular girl's name belongs to the daughter of someone who has made an enormous pile of money and is world-renowned. (Hint: she's married to some guy named Marc.) I tend to agree with Lansky that, when in doubt about a name for your offspring, go with the easier choice. That said, people get my name wrong all the time – one T, Bert, etc. Note to Emme: you'll get over it. I did.

5. Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt
(son of Three Guesses, The First Two Don't Count)

This name is odd. Lansky says that this poor lad will have trouble in school and will be forced to explain his name as, "Knox. As in Fort Knox." Yes. As in "my parents have more money than Fort Knox." Then he'll select one of the thousands of girls that want to date him and head over to the Viper Room in his chauffeur driven limo. Now I realize that money isn't everything. But it does make a dopey name a little bit easier deal with.

For the remaining four names, including what Lansky thinks is the worst Celeb Name of 2008, click here.

Working Parents Smackdown Part 1 - SAHD vs SAHM

Top Baby Names of 2008? Really?

Nine-Year-Old Lothario Gets Movie Deal

A Quiverfull Of Kids

They Say – Most Toys Are Toxic

Girly Gift Guide

Obama Name Suddenly Very Helpful For Speeding Tickets

Babble's Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide

Suri Cruise: Most Powerful Child On The Planet

Best of FameCrawler: Week of December 12th

Whit Honea — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Amy Poehler Returns to SNL - Video

How Kate Gosselin Plans Her Holidays

Photos: Ashlee Simpson Debuts Post-Baby Body!

Bad Idea: Pussycat Dolls Offer to Babysit Britney Spears' Kids

Jessica Alba Is To Good To Be True

Is That A Baby Bump?

(Sort Of) Confirmed: Janet Jackson is Pregnant!

Details: Keri Russell Strips Down

Mariah Carey Preggers?

Shauna Sand's Husband is Freaking Nuts, Allegedly

New Mom Jessica Alba Was Totally Photoshopped - Check Out the Before & After Pics

SunnyChanel — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

Seeing Jessica Alba showing off her sleek and lithe body in the recent Campari campaign totally pissed me off. Yeah, I was jealous. After 2 ½ years I still don’t have my belly back in any semblance of it’s prebaby form. So I was partly thrilled and partly disgusted to see the leaked photos that prove that they did a total PhotoShop overhaul on Jessica Alba’s body, the new mother of a five month old.

The graphics team made some pretty drastic changes to the images taken by Mario Testino. They took off inches from her waist and hips, gave a lift to her bustline and made her skin look like flawless buttered caramel. Thing is she looks just as good in her original photos, it doesn’t seem like they needed to make the adjustments they did, or as drastically. Regardless, pre PhotoShop she still looks amazing after having a baby five months ago. And yes, I’m still jealous.

Do you think they needed to make so many changes to Jessica Alba's image?

Oh and check out Hannah's post New Mom Jessica Alba Poses in Campari Calendar here

New Mom Jessica Alba Poses in Campari Calendar

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 20:30:00 GMT

To the right we have a skimpily clad Jessica Alba, posing with a cocktail just six months after the birth of her baby. You might be thinking, “What’s the big deal? Yet another celebrity with a personal trainer and a personal stylist looks like a model mere months after giving birth. Who cares?” You may have a point.

Or this photo shoot may be a little different—because when Campari’s photographer chose Alba for their 2009 calendar, he was not thinking about showing off her “post-baby bod.” He was simply looking for someone who could best, ah, embody Campari’s mission of bringing its customers “twelve months of pure Red Passion.”

Putting aside my personal feelings about Jessica Alba (and the absurdly liberal use of photoshop in these pictures), I found myself interested in the 2009 Campari calendar for its blatant sexualization of a new mother. I’m certainly no proponent of sexualizing new moms (or any young women) to sell a product, but I found myself wondering if there was something a tiny bit cool about the media’s willingness to view sexiness as independent of motherhood (inasmuch as any impossible-standards-of-beauty marketing can be cool).

Then again, no media outlet that has covered the story so far has refrained from oohing and ahhing over Alba’s amazingly slender, yet curvaceous “post-baby bod.”

What do you think: yet another example of making women feel that they should be both devoted mothers and fit, sexy women, or an example of a decidedly sleazy campaign widening, ever so slightly, the definitions of sexiness and motherhood?

Photo: Jezebel

Upcoming Sesame Street Guests

Brett Singer — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:00:00 GMT

If you can't stand to watch one more episode of 'Sesame Street' that you've already seen 250 times, help is on the way!

PBS might be killing off Fred Rogers, but at least the new season of 'Street' started yesterday, with special guests Jack Black and Feist. The Feist video has already racked up 750,000 views on YouTube since being posted about a month ago. Here are some of the other celebrities who will do time with Elmo and the rest:

* Neil Patrick Harris (8.12): I'm guessing more 'Doogie Howser' than 'Harold and Kumar', but who knows.
UPDATE: Here's a video preview of Neil as - hang on - the Fairy Shoe Person. No. Really.

* Heidi Klum (8.14): According to New York Magazine, Klum's exchange with Elmo is "Sexually charged," with the E man telling Seal's wife, "Ms. Heidi is very pretty." As far as we know, Seal did not whup his little monster butt.

* Jenny McCarthy (8.15): I have a question, and don't take this the wrong way. But if Jenny hadn't become an ambassador for autism, would she be appearing on 'Sesame Street'? I'm not saying that this is part of some master plan, just wondering. I also wonder if this is the first time a former Playboy centerfold has visited the Street. (Vanessa Williams doesn't count since she didn't plan on being in Playboy. Jenny was Playmate of the Year.)

* Will Arnett (8.18): 'Arrested Development' fans rejoice! According to Mike, 'AD' even had a character named Franklin in honor of the dearly departed Roosevelt Franklin, making this an above average booking.

* Jason Taylor (8.20): After 'Dancing with the Stars', this guy is really going places.

* David Beckham (8.22): This guy, who is he again? Maybe this will be what he needs to really break through to the big time.

* LL Cool J (9.22): I hope this is old-school 'I can't live without my RADIO!' LL. I would also accept 'Elmo said knock you out!'

* Chandra Wilson (9.30): I had to look her up, but that's probably because I don't watch 'Grey's Anatomy'. Since much of the rest of the country does, I'm guessing she was a good choice.

Other future guests include new mama Jessica Alba (OH YEAH!), Molly Shannon (amusing), Patrick Warburton ('The Tick' is the greatest fake-superhero-live-action-sitcom in the history of the small screen), Feijoo Sisters (Cuban ballet dancers I'd never heard of), Jonah Hill (wearing a moustache – this seems like an odd choice but I guess he's a big deal now; I would've preferred Seth Rogen), Brian Williams (who's actually fairly amusing), Gilbert Gottfried (who's f**king hilarious but will likely not be his usually filthy self), Megan Mullally (should be fun), Randy Jackson (Gee, you think he'll say "dawg?" - yawn) and Sandra Oh (who I like, despite the fact that everyone seems to think she's ugly). New sketches too, such as "30 Rocks," "Pre-School Musical" and "Are You Smarter Than an Egg Layer."

Here's a little video to whet your appetite.

It all started when Mary needed a laxative

Kid climbs into claw game to get prizes

James Blunt loves triangles

Old Jonas Brothers CD priceless

Family Movie Night – Hairspray

More Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

Return of the son of stuff YUPPIE parents like

More stuff YUPPIE parents like

Stuff White Parents Like

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

Baby Penis Album only five bucks

PBS Dropping Mister Rogers??!!

Should a C-Section Earn You a Bad Eco-Grade?

Madeline Holler — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:01:00 GMT

I was super excited when I saw the feature Celebrity Birthing Footprints over on the eco-fashion website Sprig. All the recent big-name baby producers are represented in their slideshow (as well as a few smaller ones -- hey, Ethan Hawke's lady just gave birth). And there's nothing I love more than taking down environmentally self-righteous celebs, whose carbon/trash/consumer footprints alone are waaaaaaaaay huger than an entire new housing development's silly Hummer-driving, McMansion-erecting, meat-eating suburbanites.

Alas, the piece disappoints. First, none of these celebrities is doing anything more than the rest of us to go green -- even superficially. Second, the little project is inconsistent -- there's no rubric for how they're determining letter grades.

Plus, I think I uncovered this dirty little secret: they're dinging celebrities who got c-sections! (I mean, maybe c-sections are melting polar icecaps, but then they need to point that out.)

Summary:

A's went out to Jessica Alba, Jack Black and Soleil Moon-Frye. Oddly, Jack Black gets the A for saying if he were president, each car in the country would have a solar panel on the roof. (Wow! So engaged!)

Know who gets a C? Tori Spelling, whom they congratulate for using cloth diapers. But she had a c-section, so I suppose she's lucky she didn't flunk.

Other C's, a D and a D- go out to Jamie Lynn Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie (who's international birthing needs cancel out any recycling and Prius-driving they may do around the Chateau). Anyway, you tell me, what do these baby-makers have in common? That's right: surgical birth.

My conspiracy theory unravels with Nicole Ritchie. She earned a C+, but from what I can find online, she gave birth vaginally. So why the low grade? Toxic oversized sunglasses?

Here's what I would have liked to see: more talk about these very rich people committing to smaller homes, smaller cars, less air travel (please stop going to Vegas for the weekend, Christina), lower water use, lower consumption overall (for God's sake, rewear something once in a while). And, yes, maybe solar panels as far as the eye can see (though not on the roof of the car. Do you know what that would do to the gas mileage?)

It's Hard Out There for a Mom Who Says 'No'

18 Kids From One Vagina: Woman Births 18th Child

Condom Maker Offers $1Mil to Miley Cyrus to Sell Rubbers

Photo: Sprig.com

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

Brett Singer — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Let's get one thing out of the way right now – you shouldn't bring your children. They might want to go, but unless they have a very high tolerance for a long movie (2 and half hours) and an abnormally high tolerance for what might be the most frightening performance ever (Heath Ledger's Joker), I'd get a sitter.

Now: this is some incredible movie. At first, I was a little bit apprehensive. Part of that feeling was the hype, which was so intense that it seemed impossible anything could live up to it. (Part of it was also that the movie didn't start until almost 1am because we had to sit through 7 commercials, none of which I remember at all – money well spent, advertisers. But I digress.) There are some slow spots, especially in the beginning, and I think the director, Christopher Nolan, could have cut 10 or 15 minutes of film and made it a tighter movie. But that's nitpicking, because there are several scenes, some just quick moments and some long, exciting action sequences, that will put your jaw on the floor.

The saddest thing about Heath Ledger's death is that his daughter will never know her father. But it's fair to say that if an actor had to go out with one performance, this is that performance. He's so good that I completely forgot I was watching an actor, which, for me, almost never happens. (It's worth pointing out that Gary Oldman as James Gordon, and Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox, do the same thing in smaller and less flashy roles.) He's frightening, but not the way a horror movie villain is frightening. It's not shock value, although there is some of that (there's a bit with a pencil that might be the best 5-second description of a character in the history of cinema.) Without giving anything away, The Joker is referred to as a "terrorist" a couple of times, but unlike the terrorists in our world, this one has no cause that he fights for. He's just… mad. Not angry-mad, just flat out crazy. And Ledger captures that in every possible way. You could teach an acting class using this movie – what he does physically, vocally, emotionally; it's all stunning to watch.

The rest of it is, for the most part, equally good. I don't care about the love story, but it's fine I suppose and does serve the story. Aaron Eckhart is a solid actor and he does a good job as Gotham City District Attorney Harvey Dent. Christian Bale is by far the best Batman yet, although Ledger is so good that he really takes over the movie. Michael Caine is a good Alfred Pennyworth, Maggie Gyllenhaal is fine as token love interest Rachel Dawes; she's more than that, I guess, but it's not her movie. Gary Oldman is amazing; as in "Batman Begins," he somehow manages to completely capture the essence of a fictional comic book character that isn't a superhero, meaning that, as an actor, he has fewer details available to work with. I can't explain it but he IS Jim Gordon.

The nits to pick if you want to go there: some of the dialog is hokey (although the lines written for Ledger are brilliant.) There are a few slow spots. At times the action sequences are a tad frenetic, here and there. But it really doesn't matter. You'll read a lot about the surprising depth of this movie, and this is true to an extent. "The Dark Knight" is incredibly entertaining and does have some thoughtful moments amid the comic-book chaos, but there's no need to over think them. I would say just relax and enjoy it, but it's not a relaxing experience. Ledger's Joker is uncomfortable to watch, but in a good way. I don't want to give anything away, so you'll have to see it for yourself (but, as I said, get your tickets early; even the 12:30am showing was completely sold out.)

Now, despite the fact that there isn't much in the way of blood, this is not a film that you should take your children to see. Obviously, you know your offspring better than I, so if you think they can handle it, that's your call. And of course older kids will be fine. I hesitate to suggest an age-range, but I recommend seeing it yourself first if you're not sure. Worst-case scenario – you get to see it twice. Believe me, that's not a bad thing.

image: Reuters

Batman: get your tickets now

Set Your Alarm for a Romp Through LEGO Batman: The Video Game

Maggie Gyllenhaal on Letterman- He Wishes

Spying on the Neighbors: 7-17-08

Sexy Superhero Parents: The Top 10

Little Matilda Had Heath's Heart

Batman: get your tickets now

Brett Singer — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:42:00 GMT

So, being a guy who sees superhero movies, I wanted to see the new Batman movie. Today.

A friend wanted to come with me, so I couldn't pull my usual "go during the day when it's not busy" thing. So OK, let's see when its playing… What? Sold out? You gotta be kidding me.

Well, I'm not. If you're planning on seeing The Dark Knight this weekend, you'd better get your tickets in advance. This is unbelievably annoying. I tried at 2pm to get tickets to a 10:30pm showing, and it was already sold out. The reviews so far are over the top in their praise. Over at Rotten Tomatoes, a site that aggregates reviews from various sources, the rating is a whopping 94% positive (the only film with a higher rating is Wall-E.). If you go to the "top critics" section (print outlets and sites like salon.com), only a couple of the reviews are negative, which is extremely unusual for a comic book flick.

A lot of the interest in this film is because of Heath Ledger's death, but I've never seen anything like this. A movie that you can't get tickets to unless you go at midnight, which is what I'm doing? Come on. (And yes, I know I'm nuts.)

I'll let you know what I think of the film, and whether or not it's appropriate for children, later tonight. But for now, if you plan on going, order those tickets early, Bat-fans. Otherwise, you ain't getting in.

See you tonight -- different Bat-time, same Bat-channel...

image: Rotten Tomatoes

Set Your Alarm for a Romp Through LEGO Batman: The Video Game

Maggie Gyllenhaal on Letterman- He Wishes

Spying on the Neighbors: 7-17-08

Sexy Superhero Parents: The Top 10

Little Matilda Had Heath's Heart

Best of FameCrawler: Week of July 18th

Whit Honea — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Angelina Jolie Twins Photos: SOLD!!!

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman Wreck One Home Too Many

Exclusive Sketch Of Angelina's Twins!

Pictures Of Nicole Kidman's Sunday Rose-Two Stories

Drea De Matteo Sobbed When She Found Out She Was Pregnant

Jennifer Aniston's Obsession With Baby

Jessica Alba Already Wants Another Baby

Jessica Alba's Honor Marie - Photo!!!

Name Change: The Jolie-Pitt Twins

Miley Cyrus Leaked Shower Pics: Blame Lindsay!

Jessica Alba Hates Her Name

Madeline Holler — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:01:00 GMT

Celebrity baby names are fun, just fun. You get to wonder where the hell their kids' names came from. Why, oh, why they went with, say, Max and Emme and not, say, Vivienne and Knox.

New mom Jessica Alba tells OK! magazine exactly why she named her baby Honor Marie. Because it's not "Jessica" or this decade's version of Jessica (Kate, I'm looking at you!)

Here's what she said:

"I was always irritated that my name was Jessica," the 27-year-old actress tells OK! magazine. "Come on, it's a very '80s name, because there were tons of Jessicas in every school I went to. There's something great about having a unique name. It's a part of your identity."

I don't really buy into the name = identity thing. But I love getting the background. I wonder if she hopes Honor will become a judge.

Personally, Honor is not my favorite name (alas, she didn't consult me), but at least she didn't go with my name, once a relatively unusual name and now, well, let's just say I feel like I get screamed at a lot at the park. "Madeline! Get over here!"

Photo: OK! magazine [via CNN.com]

The Best of FameCrawler: Week of June 13th

Whit Honea — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Jude Law Gets It

Jessica Alba Gives Birth!!

A Sad Time in the Marson Family

George Clooney and Sarah Larson: Boobs, Not Babies Blamed For Breakup

READER POLL: Strangest Celebrity Baby Names

Heather Locklear: Drunk, Sloppy and Busting Out The Inner Gangsta

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Freakin' Insane

Lionel Richie: I Survived Nicole

Psstt - Angelina Jolie Has A Secret!

Michelle Duggar Should Write a Book on Pregnancy

Best of FameCrawler: Week of May 2nd

Whit Honea — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair Photos: Annie Leibovitz Speaks

Oprah Reveals Scoop On Tom Cruise Interview

Jessica Alba- A Bra Would Only Slow Her Down

Lourdes Looks Like A Young Angelina Jolie?

Claudia Shiffer and Daughter Clementine

Melissa Joan Hart Has Her Pre-Baby Body Back

Kate Hudson Tops People's Most Beautiful People List

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Married...and Expecting?

Courteney Cox Getting Baby Help from Friend

More Halle Berry Post Baby Body Pics!

Unmarried Celebrity Moms and Dads

Madeline Holler — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:37:00 GMT

MSNBC has a nice little gawky slideshow featuring famous couples who bear children without being married. It's a sidebar, cheekily titled "First Comes Baby" (then comes love?) and accompanies the main story on Jessica Alba, who is promoting her new movie and is also with child. The headline acts as meddling mother by promising her "thoughts on marriage."

Having given birth to both my kids before being forced to marry my partner to get health benefits (details provided here), I still feel a certain affinity to these couples who, for whatever reason, haven't bothered getting married -- now or yet or ever. And I tend to slice and dice all the codes and tones and extra commentary packed into the reportage. I like to see what terms the writers come up with for the main players. Like Erin's recent post on names for two mommies, unmarried couples don't have any agreed-upon references for their partners/girlfriends/husbands/SOs/etc.

So going through the slideshow, I did a little lexical inventory of what the baby mama/baby daddy get called and find it interesting that there's a difference, even though I can't figure out who gets to be called what. It's either "boyfriend/girlfriend" (for example, Halle Berry's, Matthew McConaughey's, Jamie Lynn Spears', Alba's, Nicole Richie's) or "longtime boyfriend/girlfriend" (Mark Wahlberg's). Only the Tim Robbins/Susan Sarandon industrial complex is referred to in terms of "partner."Brad and Angelina get to be called "a couple." Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher are spared the girlfriend/boyfriend tag, too, either because they're both actors or because, as their slide indicates, he proposed to her years ago.

Any unmarried couples out there want to chime in with terminological ideas for the celebrity press?

IIncidentally, if you read through the Alba story, she says, regarding marriage, "she's thought about it," but nothing more. We're not getting the details. Seems that unlike li'l Jamie Lynn Spears, she doesn't necessarily "want to get married real bad." I hear you, Jessica, I hear you.