Strollerderby : inventions

Balloon Helps Pregnant Woman "Practice"

JeanneSager — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 21:24:00 GMT

File this one under WTF?

Jezebel reported yesterday on a new invention filed with the U.S. Patent Office that allows a woman to practice giving birth . . . with a balloon.

Did any of these people actually go through natural childbirth first? Quick tip - a solid mass of baby is NOTHING like a squishy air-filled balloon. Trust me.

I haven't tried this thing - and really, I'd have no need now. But here's the deal, thanks to Inventor Spot: "The way it sort of works is that the balloon is partly located inside the vagina of the pregnant woman. When inflated, the balloon causes the orifice of the birth canal to dilate in a manner similar to that caused by the emerging head of a baby."

I understand women are really curious before birth about how this whole thing is going to go down. Especially in the latest weeks of pregnancy, we agonize over whether it's going to hurt, whether we're going to know what to do, whether there's anyway we can actually do it wrong. But after having been there and done that, I can't imagine how a "balloon birth" would clear up much of the confusion. If anything, I'd be more freaked out during labor when it was NOTHING LIKE what I'd practiced. Because, you know, there's that hard baby head, the contractions, the baby SHOULDERS . . . not to mention thirteen hours of labor that tired out my entire body before the pushing.

Does this seem silly to you or would you have liked a little trial run?

Image: Inventor Spot

Via Jezebel

An Answer to the Mealtime Mantra of “Chew, Chew, Chew”?

SunnyChanel — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 23:30:00 GMT

You know what I’m totally sick of saying at each and every mealtime? “Chew, chew, chew.” My young daughter prefers the technique of inhaling her food rather than taking the time to properly chomp, chew and savor her breakfast, lunch and dinner.

For the legions of parents in the same situation, a Japanese company has invented the Kami Kami Sensor. This item, which I spied on Jezebel.com, has a “plastic bar with an electric counter that hangs off the ears like eyeglasses and straps under a child's chin, rewarding kids by playing a song when the counter reaches one thousand.”

Jezebel does point out that is you can’t get your kid to do something simple as chewing there probably isn’t much of a chance that you can force them to wear some wack-ass contraption. I may be sick of the mealtime mantra of the “chew, chew, chew”, but I think going the natural nagging technique is probably best. And at a price point of about $120, I think I can afford to keep saying it.

Via Jezebel

Baby Boy Codpiece -- With Matching Capes

Madeline Holler — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 13:31:00 GMT

I feel like I'm somehow not allowed to comment on the Weeblock, this super absorbant codpiece meant to prevent little baby boys from peeing all over your face during diaper changes. I'm not allowed because I have girls. But come on, even you parents of boys think these are ever so ridiculous, right?

I mean, props to the dad who saw a problem and come up with a solution, but what am I missing? Wouldn't a washcloth accomplish the same thing, just without all the urination double entendre ("Whiz Kid," "Puttin' on the Spritz") and super-hero references ("Wee Wee Man")? Where's the one with face paint and matching sequin studs spelling "Piss" for fans of Gene Simmons?

The best/most overboard part is that you can purchase it as a part of an entire Parent Protection kit, which includes burp cloths and bibs. Isn't this just inviting an audience into the private affair of diaper changing? If you spent $9.95 on this, you'd surely be tempted to drag out this pee-pee sponge to show friends, who won't care and might be a little grossed out besides.

That said, couldn't you look at that kid in his cape and Weeblock all afternoon?

Worth noting: the arbiters of good baby taste over at Droolicious weren't impressed either. What pissers.

Photo: inventiveparent.com

Could Your Kid Invent the Next Frisbee?

Karen Murphy — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 16:11:00 GMT

Shut up. It could happen, you know. Kids as a breed are creative, and, really, are yours any different? Kids come wired knowing ten things to do with an airplane barf bag, that underwear are for wearing on heads, that fairies leave you fairy dust in the night for their own magical purposes, and that cardboard and tape can make anything.

So why wouldn't your kid win the first-ever WHAM-O Kid Inventor Contest?

It's not like WHAM-O is mining kid's ideas to find the next Frisbee, Super Ball, Hula Hoop, or Slip 'n Slide. Oh, no. But even so, what kid wouldn't want their toy idea marketed to millions? And winning a $2000 prize isn't such a bad thing.

Here's what you need to know:

The contest is open from, like, now, until March 31, 2008. Finalists will be announced in April and the winner will be determined by summer. Kids who enter ust be between the ages of 6 and 17 and live in the U.S. or Canada. Toy inventions must be submitted along with a description of how the toy works. (Feel free to edit your long-winded elementary-schooler's description.)

Full details of the contest can be found here.

Oh, and the whole thing is associated with Nick Mag, which I presume has something to do with Nickelodeon. I'm sooo in touch with these things.

But seriously. Your kid has some fabulous ideas about this sort of stuff.

Photo: bubbleinc.co.uk

Voice Activated Blender? Holler!

makeitadouble — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 14:49:00 GMT

The whiz kids at MIT have invented a device that should be nominated for a Nobel Prize for its outstanding contribution in the field of Everyday Items that Benefit the Greater Good of all Humankind and Getting Your Drink On. Previous winners are the EZ Pull Corkscrew and the Sippin' Seat Flask Seat Cushion (Come on, it’s a stadium seat cushion with an internal flask and nozzle. You don’t even have to get up to drink from it!) But the MIT brainiacs have done them all one better by inventing the Blendie 2000, a voice-controlled blender.

The Blendie 2000 contains a voice sensor that responds not to words or commands, but to, now get this, voice pitch and volume. In other words, the louder you yell at the blender, the faster it will blend. Even without the Blendie 2000 I was already pulling a Ruprecht by running excitedly around the kitchen banging a ladle into a sauce pan screaming, “Margarita, Margarita, Margarita, Margarita!” while the uninspired push button Cuisinart droned away, but now my earsplitting half-wit antics will have a beneficial causal effect on my frozen concoction.

Connecting a user’s pitch and volume to a product’s performance is a technology that has been used before, most recently in cell phones most specifically when the phone is being used in a public place. “WHAT? HEY, YEAH …I’M….WHAT….I’M AT STARBUCKS…. STARBUCKS…NO…NOT THAT…NOT THAT ONE…THE OTHER ONE…THE ONE….I SAID THE ONE WITH THE BARISTA WITH….THE BARISTA WITH THE NOSE RING…. NOT THAT ONE….THE OTHER…THE OTHER ONE WITH THE NOSE RING…”

Dear Santa, I’ve been really good this year, well except for the incident with that T-Ball umpire but all those charges were dropped, so I would like a Blendie 2000 for Christmas. And if it’s not too much trouble a date with that Starbuck’s Barista with the nose ring; I hear she likes frozen mudslides.

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Bubble Wrap: Not Just for Bikinis Anymore

Matt Wood — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 14:00:00 GMT

Bubble wrap is no longer just a packaging material or child-restraint system. People have found plenty of uses for the stuff like making suits, bikinis (slightly NSFW, if you're a prude), and curtains. But now kids are competing to find the most inventive new use for everyone's favorite part of opening holiday presents.

Sealed Air Corp., the inventor of bubble wrap, has crunched its way through more than 1,400 entries from kids in 39 states to find 15 semifinalists in its second annual Bubble Wrap Competition for Young Inventors contest. Each semifinalist gets a $500 savings bond (less exciting than a box of bubble wrap), and the winner gets a $10,000 bond (more exciting than a box of bubble wrap).

Let's review some of the entries, shall we?

“Bubble Wrap® Car Door Cover," a removable protective covering for the doors of parked cars. - Interesting, but would make me want to hit the door even harder with my H2.
“DNA Model," a three-dimensional model of a DNA double helix. - Manages to be the nerdiest one at a bubble wrap invention contest.
“Medical Bubbles," - tiny bubbles used to dispense medicine slowly through the skin and avoid the pain of needles. - Disturbingly morbid. Keep a watch on cats in this kid's neighborhood.

So maybe I'm just bitter that my kid's entry, "Roll Yourself Down a Staircase Without Getting Hurt," was disqualified for being "impractical" and "needlessly violent." So what?

Boy's Potty Pedal Makes Mamas Flip Out

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:02:00 GMT

Once upon a time, there was a boy child who so loved his mommy that he set out to make her life (or at least trips trips to the loo) just a wee bit more comfortable. After being reminded a mere "thousand times over the years" to gently place the toilet seat down to suit the sitters in the house, the boy child finally began to think of ways to focus his Talented & Gifted mind on the matter at (ahem) hand. Rather than memorize the steps - raise lid, go, replace lid, wash, flush, leave -- or even createa clever anagram to remember when and at what point to girlify the seat, the boy set out to inventing.

That's right, the boy inventor I am speaking of, children, is in fact Jacob Wulf, the 9-year old Iowan who has since been glorified on Ellen and in publications across the land. And to think, it is all because he came up with a special pedal to raise and lower the eluding (but eventually auspicious) lid. Jacob spied the foot lever on the trashcan in his doctor's office and the toilet troubles came to mind. Later, with the giudance of his equipment designer dad, he developed the idea into an accessory to raise and lower the lid simply by stepping on a pedal. A school contest entry and state fair display followed, and soon the press also stepped in.

Although the Privy Prop's patent is on pause and mass-marketing is not a possibility at this time ("because Mom said"), the happily ever after comes in the lesson learned: By taking a stand and putting one's best foot foward, a world of potty-goers can be impressed, and a household (not to mention one proud mother) can live contendedly together, one powder room and pedal step at a time.

Kidventor Part II: No-Wedgie Underwear

Madeline Holler — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 22:02:00 GMT

In our continuing coverage of kidventors, we bring you 8-year-old twins from Ohio who have invented wedgie-free underwear.

Like the Iowa kid who devised a way to end fights about raised toilet seats, these twins and their invention were also featured on a recent Ellen Degeneres show.

The “Rip Away 1000” are rigged shorts that have been reengineered in a way that prevents them from going up your crack when the bullies start grabbing and yanking. Instead, Velcro seams come apart and “they just rip away,” one of the Underwear Thomas Edisons explained.

Hey, I don’t wanna pick on little kids or anything, but I have to ask how in the hell easily removable underwear will be anything but trouble. Haven't they just turned underwear into a trophy? Plus, depending on the strength of the wedgie aggressor, “Rip Away 1000” could burn!

Photo: Palm Beach Post

Kidventor Part I: Boy Designs Auto-Lid For the Toilet

Madeline Holler — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 21:03:00 GMT

An Iowa 9-year-old has invented a handy little tool for guys who just can’t remember to put the toilet seat down. He and his “Privy Prop” won an inventors competition at school and went on to be showcased at the Iowa State Fair this summer.

Producers of the Ellen Degeneres show found out and featured him and several other kidventors on a recent show. Our 15 seconds of fame come in so many different ways.

The Privy Prop works like the lid of trashcans that lift when a pedal is stepped on. Sidle up to a toilet, step on the pedal, unzip and go. When you step away from the toilet, the seat automatically falls back in place. No more nagging from the females in the house.

The kidventor’s family hopes some company will buy the idea from the boy. They are reluctant to patent it themselves, due to cost. And mom has put her foot down and won’t let the family get into the Privy Prop production business.

In my house of girls and one very considerate man, we don’t need a Privy Prop. But would some little genius please come up with an automatic clothes folder?

Photo: Associated Press

Why the iPhone Is Bad for Your iOrphans

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 22:00:00 GMT

As 6 p.m. rolls around and the new iPhone goes on sale, I can only sit back and thank my lucky stars Emmeline is not a teenager -- because she would be acting very much like I have been in the past few days.

"I waaaaah-nt wuuuuuu-ne!"

And then my wife would have to say "No, god damnit, NO!" to two of us. All day.

We've written before about why every parent needs an iPhone, but I'm beginning to have second thoughts. It's not just that at $600 -- plus monthly charges that could reach $80 or more -- I would have to sell a kidney on the black market to buy it. (And I can only imagine having more than one teen in the house who simply has. to. have. one. TODAY! or risk throwing a tantrum along the lines of this.) It's that I'm already too addicted to the Internet as it is, and I know my daughter would suffer even more if I had a bundle of Intertubes in my pocket.

Sadly, I think that's going to be the case for a lot of children. How many moms and dads do you see at the playground or sports field with a cell phone or Blackberry firmly attached to ears and thumbs? Now just imagine if those same parents had access to the Internet. At least with a cell phone you can see your child while talking. I'm wondering how many kids will take headers off slides and swings as mom or dad surfs around? (I'm predicting we'll see that news story eventually -- because after a cool product comes out, there's always the "downside story." Remember Blackberry Orphans?) But beyond crazy safety concerns, just how much of their kids lives will parents miss because they have to check their emails constantly or read the latest news story?

I'm not trying to throw a wet blanket over what I think is going to be a fantastic, life-altering gizmo for many people -- and I know that, eventually, I'll probably own one when the price comes down and inevitable bugs are worked out. I just hope that, at the playground at least, we'll all be able to keep it out of sight. My daughter probably thinks a laptop is no different from any other body part -- it's just who mommy and daddy are. Will the iPhone make that true?

With just six hours before the iPhone went on sale, the line at the Apple Store in San Francisco stretched around the block.

Jamie Lee Curtis - Actress, Mother, Inventor

JasonAvant — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:31:00 GMT

With so much going on in the world of The Hip Modern Urban Parent, so many events and issues that affect us and the lives of our children, it's sometimes hard for me to choose a blogworthy topic. Health care? Education? Global warming? The war in Iraq? The new Shins album? Thank God Jay sent me a lead. David over at Ironic Sans (which may be my new favorite blog, if only for the Pre-Pixelated Clothes For Reality TV Shows) found Google's latest Fun Feature, Patent Search, and looked up some patents issued to some famous and semi-famous people.

Of note to Hip Modern Dads is the brainchild of Jamie Lee Curtis, a diaper-ish contraption (scroll down; you'll find it between something invented by Lawrence Welk, and a radar-like device invented by Gary Burghoff - savor that delicious irony, my friends; that's a Ruth's Chris Filet Of Irony) that she invented some twenty years ago. Hip Modern Dads will no doubt recall Ms. Curtis/Mrs. Harlan Pepper some twenty years ago. Remember Trading Places? Yeah, you do. I've looked over that diagram a few times and still can't quite figure out what the diaper-ish contraption is supposed to do. I've also looked over the Safe Search Off Google Photo Search of "Jamie Lee Curtis + 'Trading Places'" a few times, and God bless her.

Also noteworthy: Marlon Brando's bongo tightener (there's a phrase I never thought I'd type), and Hedy Lamarr's secret communication device. And if upon reading "Hedy Lamarr's secret communication device", you said "That's HEDLEY!", give yourself an extra schnitzengruben.