Strollerderby : iPods

Morning News: RIP Deep Throat

Shannon LC Cate — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Former FBI official W. Mark Felt, aka "Deep Throat," the Watergate scandal's key informant died at the age of 95. He's an interesting figure in and of himself. Not only was he key in bringing Nixon down, he was convicted himself of authorizing illegal means of pursuit of the Weather Underground. And anyone who lives 95 years has necessarily seen a lot of history. Perhaps he needs a movie of his own.

Meanwhile, Barack Obama announced his pick for Labor secretary yesterday. Hilda Solis, currently a House Representative from California will take the daunting job. Solis was rumored to have been in line to take the gavel from Nancy Pelosi someday, and puzzled colleagues when she agreed to leave the House for the new Executive administration. Hey, she's the daughter of a teamster. What else is a girl to do? We wish her well.

Looking for a gift for that lush who has everything? iBreath, a new iPod plug-in accessory will test your blood alcohol via breathalizer technology. For a mere $79, you can be an early adopter!

Need some cheer today? Watch a little boy face ridiculous teasing and keep jumping double-dutch anyway--right to the Apollo theater's holiday classic!

Girl Wins Hannah Montana Tickets With Fake Essay

Madeline Holler — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 19:00:00 GMT

I have had countless conversations about Hannah Montana over the past couple of weeks, which is stunning, considering I don't think I had uttered the rather catchy (and fake) name more than once or twice total before that. In any case, all of the discussions involved one or more of these three elements: first-graders (first-graders!); $450 concert tickets (for a fake singer!); mothers living through their daughters (in this day and age!).

Until today, the sickest anecdote came from my aunt-in-law, a second-grade teacher, who told me about a first-grader at her school. The girl's mom shelled out nearly $2,000 for four concert tickets, plus transportation and dinner for the mother-daughter pairs in a limo that was taking them on the four-hour round trip. Did they open the wet bar too? Stand through the sunroof and lift up their Hanna Montana concert tees?

That story got trumped, though, when I came across this: one Texas mother's strategy to get her daughter (a first-grader ... it's always first-graders!) to a sold-out Hanna Montana concert.

The details:

Club Libby Lu, a Chicago-based store that sells clothes, accessories and other crap for young girls (we'll need to table our discussion of THIS particular merchandiser of hooker lifestyle for the pre-breast-budded for another time) sponsored a writing contest. The prize was a makeover at Club Libby Lu, a blonde HM wig and tickets for the Albany, N.Y., concert (where the debt-ridden Disney fans go to hang out with other first-graders and their moms, I presume).

The winning essay began: "My daddy died this year in Iraq." You know where this is going.

The girl's daddy didn't die this year in or out of Iraq. The named father wasn't even listed with the defense department. Instead, like customers leaving Libby Lu, the adoring fans of Hannah Montana, and anyone with a vagina appearing on the Disney Channel, that heart-breaking winning essay was all heavily made up.

Says the mother:

"We did the essay and that's what we did to win," Priscilla Ceballos, the mother, said in an interview with Dallas TV station KDFW. "We did whatever we could do to win."
Charming! Inspiring! A real warm holiday story, plus years of therapy for her humiliated and/or devastated daughter.

Here's the kicker for me: the company is reviewing the matter and "considering taking away the girl's tickets." Considering? This isn't a case-closed kind of thing? Oh, and that would also mean the mother -- already far behind the starting line on modeling, for her daughter, honesty, perspective, pride, those kinds of things -- hasn't given the tickets back? Doesn't she ...? Isn't she ...? Can someone please explain this to me?

Wasn't I just saying people are such entitled jackasses?

Kids With iPods: Don't Play in Thunderstorms, 'Kay?

Karen Murphy — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 15:12:00 GMT

I was struck by lightning once. I know, I know, you're thinking, "Well, that explains a lot!" and while you're probably right, I'm going to tell my story about it anyway. It was at the Grand Canyon and there were three of us standing out on one of those ledges, encircled by metal railings, that the bus tourists like to try to clamber over to get a better photo of that big hole in the ground, and there we were, admiring the view when all of a sudden the bus tourists all fled and there we were alone with the Grand Canyon., which was awesome until we noticed that it was because of an approaching storm. "Hey, no problem!" we thought, "What's a little storm?" The thunderstorm was actually in the canyon, in and above, and we stood there transfixed by the sheer beauty and wonder of the rolling black clouds and the lightning strikes, when all of a sudden lightning hit the metal railing and jumped between the three of us. Zzzt. Felt rather a shock there. Which, like you said, I'm sure explains a lot.

But while I was okay (more or less; you be the judge), LOTS of people aren't so lucky. And some of them have been wearing iPods lately and they have the iPod-shaped scars to prove it. And since my kids, according to a recent incident, apparently don't know to come in during a storm, I figure other kids, including those who use iPods, are similarly afflicted. If you need more proof, you can go have a look at the lightning safety site of a guy who was struck while golfing. The site's mantra is "When thunder roars, go indoors," which seems like good advice.

Solar Powered Purse

Kelly Mills — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 13:03:00 GMT

This is the story of my life: I'm out somewhere and I absolutely have to make a phone call to let my sister know I'm running forty minutes late because she's waiting for me and I look down at my phone and realize I haven't charged it in weeks and it starts beeping angrily at me to let me know it feels really neglected in the power department and as I dial I can picture my sister's irate face and then the damn phone up and dies. My life on a slightly better day: I finally make it to the track for a run and I go to turn on my iPod and it coughs and splutters because I haven't charged it either, pretty much not since I got it. In other words, my electronic accessories get the shaft, and so they feel no guilt in letting me down at crucial moments.

That's why this might just be the answer to my prayers. A tote bag that charges stuff using solar panels. Plus you could actually fit things in it, an essential feature for moms, who have to lug around spare band-aids and little bags of wipes and the teddy bear you said you weren't going to carry for them and a few cheese wands. My only request is that I want this thing in all black. And perhaps there ought to be a man-bag version for the, well, men.

What Every Dad Needs: iPod Boxers

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 19:15:00 GMT

I've been banging my head against the wall with this Father's Day gifts article, trying to figure out why any dad needs an iPod pocket for his boxer shorts. Phone, I understand -- because at least a phone will vibrate. But an iPod? Can you imagine adjusting the volume or changing the song in public?

"Don't mind me," says man with hands down pants, "I'm just bringing on the noise." Ummmm, OK?

Of course, I'm sure there are a lot of guys who spend a fair amount of time in little more than their Underoos, so the thought of finally having a place to store an iPod is like a gift from god. I don't know who those guys are, but I will not be asking for song recommendations.

[Photo courtesy of Mike Adamick Self Portraiture and Other Dreams Co.]

Kids Using iPods to Cheat in School

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 14:01:00 GMT

As a parent I probably shouldn't even admit this, but I think using your iPod to cheat on tests is brilliant! I'm not making this up. I read it on CNN. I mean, this somehow seems more advanced than a regular old cheat sheet or writing a formula on your arm. (Not that I ever did anything like that.)

Some of the new digital media players are so small that they are easy to hide up your sleeve. The ear buds are tiny enough to hide from an inattentive teacher. The kids are saving math or chemistry formulas on their iPods. Some of the students are using Schoolhouse Rock to cheat on history exams. Other students are dowloading crib notes and hiding them in their text files.

Reading this made me feel really old. I have an iPod and I didn't even know I could download crib notes. I didn't know it had text files either. Hmph.

So anyway, a lot of schools are banning digital media players because of this. Some teachers and students say that schools shouldn't bother with the ban, these children will find a way to cheat anyway. Other teachers are even impressed that the kids are working out new ways to cheat. It's critical thinking, right?

Michigan: An iPod for Every Kid?

Karen Murphy — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 18:09:00 GMT

Well-meaning but probably fiscally irresponsible Michigan Democrats outlined a plan recently to equip every school child in the state with an MP3 player. Yay! An iPod in every grubby hand! Just what kids need for a good education, wouldn't you say? Not that I live in Michigan, but if I did, would I be thrilled? Well, there's something to be said for a marginally "free" electronic device; after all, according to my eleven-year old, "everybody" but him owns one (so deprived, that kid), but exactly how is an iPod, well, educational? Okay, you could make Sufjan Stevens required listening, or even go out on a limb with Brahms and Beethoven not to mention Philip Glass, but does Michigan really want all its kids walking around all plugged in with earphones leaking out of their ears? And at taxpayers' expense?

Sorry, kids, no iPods this year, I'm afraid. This one's gonna be hard to get passed.