Strollerderby : holiday

New Babies Wrapped in Holiday Stockings

JeanneSager — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 17:46:00 GMT

If I had a Martha Stewart bone hidden somewhere in my body, this story is the one that would make it come busting out.

Volunteers have been showing up every holiday at a Houston-area maternity ward, their arms full of Christmas stockings to wrap the newborn babies in.

The ward invites Santa along, and every infant gets a chance to have his or her first visit with Saint Nick, bundled up tight in their bright red bunting, er, stocking. It makes me want to make my own pile, just so I can show up for the delivery! This year, eighty stockings were sewn up by the nuns and volunteers at St. Joseph's Hospital, and the new parents were allowed to take them home to hang for future Christmases.

The decade-old practice is adorable; and so are the little old ladies in this video. Especially the nuns (who we'd assume don't have any kids?), who are just as baby-happy as the rest of us!

Image: Houston Chronicle

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Stranger Comes out of Family's Attic on Christmas

JeanneSager — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 13:28:00 GMT

Here's another reason to stay home for the holidays: you never know who might be dropping in when you go out. Like the strange man living in the attic of one Pennsylvania family.

The Luzerne County family woke up, opened presents and then went out to visit family on the holiday. When they came home, they noticed a bunch of items missing. Cops came, took a report and left, and the family went out for some more Christmas celebrating.

But when they came home, there were more items missing - among them Mom's toothbrush, their young daughter's purple blanket, candles and a laptop. It was Grandpa, who owns the duplex where the family lives, who suggested police check out the attic crawl space. That's how police found Stanley Carter, the twenty-one-year-old who was supposed to be staying with friends next door. Police say he had been living in the family's attic for at least week, slipping downstairs to steal clothing, food and other items from all rooms of the house.

He's now in jail, and the family is relieved that Goldilocks is gone. I'm still creeped out that this guy was slipping down into the little girl's room - by looks of this video interview with Mom, she couldn't be more than six or seven. The girl's room looks like a typical messy kid room though - so who knows how long it would have taken to notice anything was gone if he hadn't gone for the big stuff!

Image:

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Lego Santa Crab Will Frighten Children Into Being Good All Year

Brett Singer — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

Radio host Max Kellerman once joked that Santa was just a story goyim children were told so that they would behave themselves. (Or something like that.) So from Gizmodo (originally from someplace else, see below for the link trail) we give you – THE EVIL LEGO SANTA CRAB!

Hide the children! Unless they've been bad this year, in which case you could use THE EVIL LEGO SANTA CRAB as a deterrent to next year's bad behavior. Because wouldn't you behave if you thought this thing was coming after you?

It kind of reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer makes a clown bed for Bart, but the clown is a hideous and frightening image that gives Bart nightmares. (According to Wikipedia, the "Can't sleep, clown will eat me" thing was based on an actual incident from Simpsons writer Mike Reiss' childhood.) In other words, don't show this page to your kids. Unless you want to frighten them into behaving. If that's your goal, give it a shot – I mean, look at that thing. I'm a little scared.

Source: Gizmodo via Andrew Colunga via Neatorama

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They'll Know It's Christmas Without the Inflatable Nativity

JeanneSager — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:31:00 GMT

I haven't gotten the courage to ask my neighbors where they found the blow-up nativity. I'm kind of curious. Do you have to order them specially-made off of the Internet? Does the blow-up baby Jesus come separate so you can stick him in on Christmas morn?

Do you think the kids will respond better to the virgin birth of a living God through giant plastic and an air compressor?

Egging me on to ask these burning questions is one of my favorite ~~time wasters~~ blogs, the ever-hiliarous passive aggressive notes, which this week shared the giant yard sign erected by a mom fed up with those holiday grinches who dare sneak into her yard and steal one of the approximately seven trillion towering plastic candy canes.

Allow me to present Exhibit A (courtesy of Passive Aggressive Notes, natch):

As they at Passive Aggressive so wisely (OK, so snarkily) put it, "poor little boy. now he’s not going to know it’s christmas.”

Yes, poor child indeed. His mother spent her whole holiday vacation decorating the yard with tasteless junk, and all he got was this damn letter in his defense. Do parents really think their kids care as much as they do about the holiday hoop-la (gifts aside)?

Image: OogaLights

Gramps Goes Christmas Crazy with 20,000 Santas

Teacher Tells Kids: Santa's Not Real

The Ten Best Christmas Songs For the Kid in You

'Tis the Season

editors — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 18:10:00 GMT

If you celebrate Christmas, you have undoubtedly been spending your fair share of time in the mall recently. In our (comparably) affluent society, many people fear that Christmas has become just this: an overly commercial binge of materialism and decorating. Perhaps knowing the intentions behind the holiday rituals so many of us participate in can help us to feel more in the true spirit of the season this year. So, if you’ve ever wondered why we are rockin’ around a Christmas tree and decking the halls with boughs of holly, check out this enlightening post on CafeMom.

According to “Yule: What It Means to Me”, Yule is the winter holiday that originated with the Celts and is now celebrated by most Pagans. Many Christmas traditions seem to have their origin in the Yule celebration. We put up Christmas trees because the Celts saw evergreens as a symbol of life in the barren winter. Our modern Christmas lights are reminiscent of Yule candles, lit to encourage the sun’s return. We decorate our trees with ornaments just like the Celts hung the evergreen with symbols of things they hoped for in the coming year. Ever heard of a Yule log and wondered "What is that?" It’s a symbol of protection and health.

My favorite Yule tradition is one that anyone could use, regardless of beliefs or holiday practices. Paganpiratemama writes, "We give each other gifts at Yule to show our appreciation and love of our family and friends. We always say a little something or write a note telling them why we are glad to have them in our lives. Rarely do we give things that cost a lot of money, but something thoughtful and from the heart.”

I really can’t remember the last time that I told someone how much she meant to me as she unwrapped her gift, but it is definitely a ritual I’d like to begin. Thoughtful and from the heart…I can get on board with that. - Lindsay Armstrong

(Image taken from crazy-frankenstein.com)

Step Away From the Baby Jesus!

Kate Tuttle — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 20:01:00 GMT

Who knew? Apparently every year there's a rash of thefts involving one particular holiday item: the baby Jesus in outdoor nativity scenes.

To prevent the rampant thievery, and keep the heavenly infant all tender and mild, etc., some churches and organizations are turning to technology, from security lights and cameras to a baby Jesus Lo-Jack device that tracks the location of the purloined Newborn King.

According to the Associated Press:

So far in 2008, Baby Jesus has appeared in several police reports. At First United Methodist Church in Kittanning, Pa., a baby Jesus was stolen and replaced with a pumpkin. In Eureka Springs, Ark., someone who absconded with a plastic baby Jesus from a public display last week also took the concrete block and chain that was supposed to act as a deterrent.

Not surprisingly, the theft of a baby Jesus from a nativity scene, while typically receiving lots of media attention (some bemused, some outrage) may actually be less common (per capita, or per Baby Jesus display) than the defacement and theft of other religious symbols, particularly Menorah. So, what's the verdict? Is stealing the Baby Jesus amusing, or enraging? And are GPS devices to protect it a good use of church funds, or would it be better to spend that money on a food pantry, in this time of peace on earth, goodwill toward men?

More by this author:

Is This Baby Obese? Aussie Mom Says No
Baby Nearly Starves to Death, Diluted Formula to Blame
Grandmother’s Right? Or Totally Obnoxious?
Health Scam: Crisis Pregnancy Centers
Mama’s Got a Brand New Bag

Best of FameCrawler: Week of December 12th

Whit Honea — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Amy Poehler Returns to SNL - Video

How Kate Gosselin Plans Her Holidays

Photos: Ashlee Simpson Debuts Post-Baby Body!

Bad Idea: Pussycat Dolls Offer to Babysit Britney Spears' Kids

Jessica Alba Is To Good To Be True

Is That A Baby Bump?

(Sort Of) Confirmed: Janet Jackson is Pregnant!

Details: Keri Russell Strips Down

Mariah Carey Preggers?

Shauna Sand's Husband is Freaking Nuts, Allegedly

Silent Fright: 9 Creepy and Unsettling Christmas Commercials

Cole Gamble — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:30:00 GMT

#1 Ronald McDonald Plays with Children

If you wern't afraid of clowns before, now's the time to start.

#2 Vern Fonk Insurance Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas, from Satan

#3 Go Jesus

I don't know. I kind of like Bust a Move Jesus. You think our Lord and Savior can't shake his ass? Sinner!

#4 Mom is Santa

When you discover mom is a dominatrix, you've actually discovered two things. Dad's the gimp.

#5 A Very Scary Christmas

Do you think Freddy and Jason get into a fight over who gets to carve the ham?

#6 Santa Takes a Dump

Can Santa sue for defamation of character?

#7 Christmas Morning Meltdown

To be fair, that's how I reacted last Christmas when I got the diamond-studded Hummer 2 instead of the diamond-studdied Hummer 3 I asked for.

#8 Mistletoe Surprise

Thanks, Canadian company I can't remember. You runied Christmas with dog's nards. Congrats!

#9 The Dancing, Stripping Christmas Present

This guy wants to show us his package. Badly.

More by this author:

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 1: The Cons)

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

Skinny Jeans for Little Boys?

Desert Island Disks – Kid Music Edition

Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

The Worst Baby Products Ever (Part I)

10 Things You May Not Know About Pregnancy (and might shock you)

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

When Do You Make the Kids Give Their Toys Away?

JeanneSager — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:26:00 GMT

I remember the year my dad told us we were going to have to give up our Hess trucks. Apparently this is a New York thing (or at least a Northeast thing), but Hess trucks were THE toy to get every Christmas.

Being told we had to hand over the Hess prize for some poor little kid who wasn't getting a visit from Santa was kind of like being told the big guy didn't exist. My brother and I were devestated.

Weeding through my daughter's toy box for stuff to drop at the used toy exchange for the needy kid, I decided I'd give her a bye another year. She needs to learn about giving to others, but at three, I'm willing to limit the lesson to helping me make the food delivery to the local pantry. She doesn't need to learn the toy lesson just yet.

To be honest, we never really gave up our toys. In the habit of picking up a couple extra Hess trucks every year in case my grandmother ran short on her usual list of gifts, my Dad had extras stashed away right next to the two set aside for my brother and I. When he learned a local family was in need of some holiday cheer, he pulled from his stash and asked my Mom to do the wrapping.

He told us we'd be making a difference for little boys who might not get much else that year. He told us just how proud he was of us for being so giving. We weren't perfect; even hindsight won't color me an angel. I was a little kid, and I had little kid thoughts. But I remember the pain ebbed as quickly as it came. We watched little boys tear open the wrapping paper and drive those trucks around the room, "vroooming" like it was nobody's business, and we didn't once complain. Of course, we had our trucks under the tree on Christmas morning, my dad just grinning like he'd pulled off the Christmas caper.

He did something; he made me remember it. He turned out a kid who makes sure she does the angel tree and the toy exchange, drops food off at the pantry when she has a few dollars to spare. It's a tradition I don't just want to pass on to my daughter - I will. Because corny and hokey as it is, that's still my version of the Christmas spirit. This year, we'll do the food drop-off together. I'll give the toys she no longer uses a good scrubbing while she's asleep and drop them in the toy bin while she's at school.

Maybe next year, she'll be ready for us to do it together. And who knows, maybe I'll hold back one toy to slip under the tree - a treat for the kid who makes me proud.

Image: Hess Toy Store

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Santa Shortage Strikes Germany

Parents Going For 'Retro' Toys This Holiday Season

SunnyChanel — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:30:00 GMT

With rampant consumerism on the wane, instead of the mini kid-sized BMW Z4 Roadster or a Swarovski crystal encrusted piggy bank, little Dick or Jane may instead be getting a “retro” toy (read=inexpensive) this Holiday Season.

The AP is reporting something that we all already know. ‘Cash –strapped’ parents will be embracing items with less zeros on the price tag this holiday season. One way to do gift giving on the cheap is with what they are calling ‘retro’ toys. What items do they cite as being biggies this season? Old favorites like Lincoln Logs, TinkerToys, Cabbage Patch Kid Dolls and Easy-Bake Ovens. Parents, they say, “find retro toys a safe bet for the holidays, since they have (sic) tried-and-true appeal.” Yeah, I can see that with all of those, except perhaps the Cabbage Patch Dolls. I always thought those were creepy.

The AP quotes Anita Frazier, a 'toy analyst', as saying, "'Retro' or 'nostalgia' toys can be viewed as the 'comfort food' of the toy industry and I do think folks naturally gravitate to what made them happy when they were young, or what is familiar to them."

What toy from your childhood would you like to introduce your child to?

Via: Salon/ AP

Babble's Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide

Brett Singer — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Thanksgiving may not have happened yet, but that doesn't mean you can't start your holiday shopping. Babble has an extensive Holiday Gift Guide that could be a huge help.

If you're picking up something for a person who loves them some handcrafted gifts, go handmade with these adorable $12 Sheep Mittens (they're only shaped like sheep, they don't smell like them) or a non-Disney Mermaid Doll ($30).

Entertainment suggestions include the Peanuts Holiday DVD Collection (Audio Visual), and the still cool even though it's old school View-Master (see Stocking Stuffers). And with the economy doing its best Tom Petty imitation ("Free fallin', yes I'm, Free fallin'…"), check out the helpful Gifts Under 20 Dollars section.

There are tons of categories to check out, each with lots of ideas for everyone from babies to babysitters. Check it out here.

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TSA To Offer "Family Lanes" at Some Airports

Kate Tuttle — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

In what they probably think is an attempt to help parents burdened by the double trauma of traveling with young children and flying during the holidays, the TSA is adding "family lanes" at some airports.

According to WHAM TV in Rochester, New York, the TSA hopes the action "will ease stress levels for parents traveling with children during the busiest travel period of the year." It goes on to explain that families "will be directed by screeners to the specially-marked lanes, where parents can feel free to move at their own pace."

Oh hell no. That may be fine for people who travel once a year or less, or folks whose only airport experience consists of flights to Grandmother's House or The Magic Kingdom, but for the rest of us -- people who have kids but who had a life before kids, a life that involved flying places -- such a special lane sounds like a threat, not a promise. Look, I know how to fly with my kids. I wear clogs for easy-off access before the conveyor belt. I always fold the stroller and shove it in first so it's out first; once out, I pop it open and immediately load it up with our carryons and various assorted kid crap. I march my toddler through that X-ray machine like he's in military school. On a good day, we're as fast as I ever was when I was a regular on the Boston to New York shuttle; even on a bad day, we aren't as slow as your typical Thanksgiving weekend traveler.

So as we get ready to fly home to see the family this holiday, do us no favors. I'd rather be in line with everyone else -- some slow, some fast -- than be pre-empted into the ninth circle of hell. Those families who haven't gotten the memo about shoe removal or liquids in your carryons can languish in the "special" lane, but please, let well-traveled families go through with everyone else. We have a plane to catch -- and if you look at dozens of gate-check tags looped around my son's stroller's handles, you can see we've done this before.

Is it fair to take pictures of Britney's kids?

Brett Singer — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:53:00 GMT

You may have heard about the photographs of Britney Spears smoking while 2-year-old Sean Preston was playing with her cigarette lighter. Well, the actual photo doesn't quite show that. Here it is:

Now, far be it from me to disagree with the celebrity media machine, but this doesn't look as bad as it sounds. In this pic she looks to be taking the cigarettes away from her child. That would be the right thing to do. The better thing to do would be to not smoke at all, and especially not in front of your kids. Second-hand smoke is very dangerous, especially to little lungs. It also makes me wonder if she was smoking while pregnant, which would be much worse. My guess – and I have nothing to back this up – is that she probably was. As a former smoker, I know how hard it is to quit, and it looks to me like the Britster is quite the nicotine addict.

Here's the part that gets me: the photos were taken at her house. Why? Presumably a photog with a mega-ultra-zoom lens – a "Pavarotti", as El Federline famously referred to them on his ill-fated rap album – was suspended from a helicopter or something and took the shot through her window or on her balcony.

She's a celebrity, and over 18 (although emotionally she might be, like, 12, but let's not go there). But her kids aren't. Not to sound like a celebrity defending dipstick ("LEAVE...BRITNEY...ALONE!"), but maybe there should be a law that prevents the kids from being photographed, at least when they're at home. As someone points out over at MomLogic, they didn't ask to be in this bizarre situation.

There are celebrities whose children you almost never see candid pictures of – Madonna, Howard Stern, Christie Brinkley, and I'm sure there are dozens more that I can't think of at the moment. Of course, those people aren't the unbelievable mess that Brit appears to be. At best, this photo shows poor judgment on her part, not only the smoking but also hanging out with her kid in front of an open window where a sleazoid photographer can get a clear shot. Um, curtains? A really high hedge? Move someplace else?

Of course, if nobody wanted to see the pictures, they wouldn't be worth anything, and photographers wouldn't take them. But that's a different topic.

Here are the rest of the photos. Hey, at least she looks pretty good in her bikini.

images: popsugar.com

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16 Lies Your Mom Told You

Cole Gamble — Mon, 05 May 2008 17:00:00 GMT

What better way to celebrate the upcoming Mother’s Day than with a list of all the lies Mom told you?

Here’s the one my mom always laid on me: cracking your knuckles is bad. Well here I am, still popping my knuckles. How do you like that ma? Now would someone pick up my coffee cup and place it in my claw.

Here’s another: kids shouldn’t drink coffee, it stunts their growth. I did, and it didn’t. Nothing got me ready for a day of kindergarten like three or four cups of black coffee. Didn’t stunt my growth one bit, I’m like 7’5”. (Margin of error +or- 2 feet)

Among mommy’s other big untruths:

Sitting close to the TV is bad for you.

Don’t make that face or it will stay that way.

Swallow that gum and it will sit in your stomach for seven years. Wait an hour after eating before swimming.

Check out the full list here.

So there you go, mom, I can see through your lies. Happy Mother’s Day!

Strollerderby Playdate: The Critical Questions of the Season

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 11:56:00 GMT

Everybody's got loads of questions this time of year: What volunteer role in the preschool pageant shall I put you down for? How much can you contribute to the mail carrier's gift? Am I going to get all the toys I ask for if I tell Santa how much I need them? You are buying only eco-friendly organic hemp holiday presents, right? To which I've personally mastered the No thanks! Seriously? Oh hell naw. Ummm... responses with a quickness. But every once in a while one of those really good, really pondery, really important seasonal questions arises that you absolutely must sit down with some Rumpleminz and gingerbread cookie dough to consider. Here are a few of those treasures plucked like little precious chocolates from the virtual Advent calendar of the internets:

Blingy gifts or senti-presents from your partner? As posed by BlogHer.

Is the lampshade award worth losing your gig? "Hypothetically asked" by Dumb Little Man.

Can you incorporate these three holi-propriate words into your next mall shopping or monogramming experience? Dared by Wordlustitude.

Where are the crampons? And is this a planted post by Wordlustitude? Questioned by A Little Chaos.

Babble Tests Egg Dye So You Don't Have To

Patti — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 19:58:00 GMT

Still haven't bothered to grab an egg coloring kit? Let me save you a little trouble: we review five kits and let you know the scoop.

In related news, so far this week I've eaten egg salad on wheat toast, on cheddar-onion scones, and in a tortilla. I expect to eat it in a pita next. Then I'm going to devil some of 'em. Then I still have another dozen or so to deal with. Ideas?

Liveblogging: St. Patrick Who? Irish, You Say?

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 02:13:00 GMT

Dana and I were out at a farmers market this morning when a woman nearby answered her cell phone and said, "Happy Drinkers Day!" Two years ago, that was us.

Before the pregnancy, before the baby, before the rigid scheduling brought on by nap times and bed times and before that sad fact that we simply can't find a babysitter who doesn't charge $98 an hour and insists on medicine cabinet priviledges, this used to be our holiday. We'd eat corned beef and cabbage. I'd suck down Guinness while Dana pretended to enjoy herself. A great time was had by all.

Now, however, it's a different story. Emmeline is sleeping in her room. Dana is finishing some work, and I am dreaming of a cool pint of Guiness. So if, like us, you're lame enough to be home. this. instant. instead of out drowning your uvula (no, silly, higher) in Guinness, please enjoy this inaugural rendition of the St. Patrick Days blues -- in which I drive the fun out of Ireland.

5pm: Emmeline wakes up. Dana wakes up from nap. Change Emme. Feed Emme. Start dinner.

6pm: Finish Guiness beef stew. Put in oven. Finish Guinness used for said stew.

6:30pm: Bed time routine. Make bottle. Open more Guinness.

7pm: Emme goes to bed. Neighbor in the flat above us begins screaming, "Yeahhhh Boy!!!" (Our landlord lives above us; otherwise we'd beat the crap out of the ceiling.)

7:10pm: Dana sits on couch to finish work. I sit at computer -- writing this and thinking of Guinness. The distant sound of revelry from North Beach bars can be heard. Upstairs landlord neighbor shouts, again, "Yeahhh something!"

7:27pm: Me: "Is the stew ready?" Dana: "No baby. It'll be another hour." Me: "An hour?! Ohhhh." Dana goes back to work.

7:37pm: We hear a noise. "Oh, no - she's coughing," Dana says. I go in to check. Emme has her lovey bear, and I linger a moment at the crib, watching as her chest rises and falls in the soft light. I touch her cheek and exit softly, trying to remember I'm supposed to be annoyed at missing the festivities but smiling quietly to myself instead.

7:53pm: Just received batch of photos from a friend, who came over on New Year's Eve. The New Year's Eve party caption says: "Out until 7 pm!" Us parents; our holidays have taken a decided turn for the worse.

8:10pm: Put water on stove to boil for potatoes. Watch pot. It boils! Potatoes in, and then read this story from Drudgereport. Ew.

8:30pm: Turn on TV. Nothing. Play Internet poker. Lose. Dana still working. Stew smells freaking good. Neighbor is stomping around.

8:55pm: Stew is ready! But a few Guinnesses on an empty stomach has left me feeling, well ...

9:50pm: Oh. dear. god. A full bowl of rich stew on an empty stomach is not a good idea. The Guinness don't help. We try to watch a movie, but I slump on the couch, begging for Dana to rub my head. "I don't feel so good," I tell her. "Some holiday," she says. But I just sit there, feeling her hands on my head and feeling her warmth beside me, and I begin to realize she's onto something. Some holiday indeed. I'm going to bed.

Valentine's Day Is Dead; Long Live VD (Valentine's Day, Silly)

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 18:07:00 GMT

In third grade I handed out Valentine's Day cards just like the other 30 or so members of my class, making sure everybody got one -- even the dork nerd dweebjobs. I praised myself for thinking of the little people. Then I returned to my desk, counted my bounty -- a handful -- and came to a sudden and very sad conclusion.

When I was in middle school, I received a Valentine's Day gold chain bracelet from the first girl I french kissed. I must not have been a good kisser, because a few days later my wrist turned green. We broke up not long afterward.

On our first Valentine's Day together, I drove Dana to a strip mall, pulling into a parking space just in front of a dingy, plastic-chair Chinese restaurant that we had come to know as our own. "I love your sense of humor," Dana said. "So really -- where are we going? Some place romantic?" I was 20 and didn't know any place romantic. So I called a restaurant in Napa she had heard about, praying and stepping on the gas at the same time. We waited an hour and a half to share a seat at the bar.

For some reason, I've never quite enjoyed Valentine's Day. Maybe it was the bad memories or maybe it was the silly notion that true love comes in the form of an electronic dancing hamster purchased at Walgreens. I'm not sure. But I was still hoping to make yesterday a special one, because it would be our first as a couple with a child - our first as a new family. I wanted to let Dana know that despite the hardships and happiness a baby can bring into your life, our relationship was as strong and loving as ever.

Things didn't start out as I planned. A little after midnight, Dana woke up with a terrible, hacking cough which, in turn, woke me. Together we tossed about for the rest of the night, waking too early to the sound of Emmeline's cries. "Happy Valentine's Day," I said. Dana coughed, "Can you get her?"

After Dana went to work, I strapped Emmeline into her stroller and we spent the morning checking off our shopping list. Dinner. Dessert. Chocolates. Check. Check. Check. I put Emme down for an early nap, eager to start preparations for a big night and maybe catch a nap myself. Emme woke up a half hour later with a fever. For the next three hours, she wanted to be held. I gave her some Motrin and after awhile stripped her down to her diaper and brought her into our bedroom. We sat in front of an ancient floor fan, drifting off to sleep together as a dusty breeze tickled our noses.

Dana came home early. "I don't feel so well either," she said. "Do you mind if, maybe, we have Valentine's tomorrow night?" Instead of making dinner together, we gathered on the living room floor. Emme crawled between us, lumbering over our legs or tumbling into our arms. Occasionally she would open her mouth and burrow her burning face into our necks, laughing at her own antics while I slowly came to a new conclusion: If an exhausted, hacking, feverish new family can still enjoy a few laughs together, maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad after all. I don't know about you, but I can't wait until next year.

LinkLove: Navigating the Holidays With Special Needs Kids

Patti — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 00:21:00 GMT

I've been loving this blog for years and am stoked to have such a great excuse to share it with y'all: Leelo and His Potty-mouthed Mom's tips for surviving the holidays with an autistic child. And truly, these are great things to keep in mind even if your children don't have special needs; kids of all stripes get overstimulated by the noise, the sugar, the strangers, the travel. Take it to heart.

All Over But the Wrapping: Last Minute Giftwrap Ideas

Patti — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 19:06:00 GMT

Yeah, we haven't even started. I've been wrapping gifts to deliver to friends on a case-by-case basis, but the majority of them are still unwrapped, in shopping bags out in the garage, and the rolls of paper are still in the trunk of my car. Once I bring them in, I'll be obligated to find something that the girls can do to "help" so I won't have to keep reminding them that scissors and tape are Mama Toys. Oh, I could let them help for real, but then the presents would look as though Santa had a team of wild dogs instead of reindeer, and I still have some of my pre-parenthood dignity intact.

I'll start by printing out some of these gift tags and letting the kids go to town with markers, crayons, and colored pencils. Anna Maria's cute dress-shaped tag will keep them busy for a good long while. More gift tag links are here at Lifehacker. Also via Lifehacker, beccajo's great idea for printable wrapping paper at her Curbly blog, which looks so cool for smaller packages and would also be a great coloring project for the kids.

Here's another gift tag idea at Pink Chalk Studio: break out the safety scissors and glue sticks and use paper scraps to make these little trees (you can find the tags at any office supply store), and I love Beth's environmentalist wrapping job, which Parent Hacks reworks as an excuse to thin your child's art collection (Parent Hacks also suggests assembling everything before you wrap it, which I heartily endorse).

Whatever you wrap with, check out the instructions for Japanese gift wrapping techniques at Whip Up. You may never go back to the old way.

Christmas Around the Web

Patti — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 12:00:00 GMT

School's out, your shopping is done, it's crappy outside and you and the kids are about to bring new meaning to the concept of "boxing day". How to kill the next few days and come through with your holiday spirit intact? Check out Tech Digest's list of the Top Fifty Christmas Websites.

The list runs a wide gamut from descriptions of holiday customs around the world from Santas.net to children's crafts at Enchanted Learning. Older kids will get a kick out of How Christmas Works, while preschoolers will go nuts for L'il Fingers Merry Christmas. There is a huge store of educational material here: historical narrative, a discussion of the origins of the Christmas tree, and the official site of the White House Christmas tree.

Songs, jokes, activities, trivia, stories, a killer collection of vegetarian holiday recipes: you can stay busy for days with this list that includes something for everyone. Even crazy cat people.

Linklove: Is Late-Night Christmas Shopping a Form of Child Abuse?

thezeroboss — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 06:26:00 GMT

Izzy at IzzyMom lays into parents who take their small kids out shopping after 10pm. By her observation, a disturbing number of moms and dads think it's hunky-dory to cart their wee ones around until they melt down in a wail of exhausted tears - or, even worse, get them so tired that they cross the line into hyperactivity. As Izzy decrees:

If they’re running around like you just shot ‘em full of meth, it’s because they’re OVERTIRED. You’ve been parents for what looks to be 3-4 years now. How is it that you don’t know this by now and what in holy hell makes you think that yelling your fool heads off at them is going to change anything?

As The Blogfather would say: "Indeed." In my experience, the vast majority of child misbehavior in public is due to idiot parents who want to stick to their preconceived schedules, their children be damned. Please, parents of Strollerderby: don't be that idiot. Every village may need one, but that doesn't mean you have to volunteer.

Holiday Sweaters On Crack "For Your Pain And Amusement"

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 20:01:00 GMT

Do you just adore holiday sweaters? Love a field of snowmen against a snowy background appliqued onto a merino cardigan? Can't get enough of reindeers prancing across a boiled wool pullover? Wish you could figure out how to craft a v-neck made entirely of blinking LED Christmas lights? At Sullivan, Higdon, & Sink you can find inspiration for all your holiday sweater creations.

"Is the only thing missing from your closet a crew-neck made entirely of Santa heads? Make it happen!" Want a forest of Christmas tree decals covering both sides of your zip-front cardigan? No problem. A thousand jaunty snowflakes sprinkled on your kelly green sweater vest? Bring it on. Want giant Rudolph heads on your chest with blinking red noses right where your nipples would be? You got it! Sullivan, Higdon & Sink's motto is "We hate sheep. We love holiday sweaters." And they mean it.

Looking for that special holiday gift for your family? Why not hop over to their site and "start knitting." Or, click the "window shopping" link and find inspiration for your creations "from others' holiday heinousness." This year I'm giving my dad's girlfriend an extra-special holiday sweater with the word "HO" on it. I can't wait to see her face when she opens it on Christmas morning.

Woman Puts Baby Thru Airport Xray Machine

Alisyn — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 18:36:00 GMT

From the "So Stupid It's Got to be True" files...

A woman accidentally put her one-month-old grandson through the x-ray machine at Los Angeles International airport last Saturday morning.

Security workers noticed the wiggling shape of a baby on their monitors and immediately pulled him out. After examination at a local hospital, it was determined that the baby did not receive a harmful dose of radiation.

Airport authorities categorized the incident as "an innocent mistake made by an inexperienced traveller," but I've got another theory: I think Grandma wanted to make sure her medical marijuana stash for cataracts went unnoticed in her handbag, so she put her brilliant "Plan B - Baby as Diversion" tactic into effect.

One problem, though, Granny: You should've waited 'til after you landed to get high.

Gift Crisis? Let Moms and Moms-To-Be Help

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 12:01:00 GMT

Chanukkah is almost over, Christmas and Kwanzaa are around the corner, and if you're like me, you haven't bought any gifts yet. (Yes, I know it's not about that...but it kind of is.) If you despise shopping malls and are overwhelmed by the barrage of catalogs that have been jamming your mailbox since early October, help is here.

Moms and moms-to-be that like shopping way more than you have made it their business to put together some righteous holiday gift guides. Look them over and buy what they suggest. After all, mama knows best.

San Francisco's own mama-to-be Maggie Mason has put together her annual Mighty Goods gift guide, and more importantly, her covet guide. Print it out and leave it somewhere where your partner will find it, like wrapped around his or her Crackberry.
Motherhood Uncensored and Mom-101, the fabulousness behind Cool Mom Picks have a comprehensive guide with suggestions for everyone on your list, even your babysitter. (Hint: we got ours an iPod Shuffle, big hit.)
The always delicious Foodmomiac has put together a tasty gift guide for the food lover in your life, including many choices under $15.
And, our very own Dutch is not a mom (although he made his wife one by "impregnating her"), but he created a kick-ass gift guide anyway. If you are an "indie sonofabitch parent," this one's for you.

Happy shopping!

[wagon shot courtesy Mighty Goods' Covet Guide]