Strollerderby : high school musical

The JumpArounds: HSM for The Preschool Set

Amy Kuras — Mon, 04 May 2009 15:01:00 GMT

Who are The JumpArounds? You probably will know that all too well very soon.

The JumpArounds are a fictional band which Nickelodeon is basing a new summer series around. There’s Shout. Marina, Kiki, and Twist (Twist and Shout are males), who apparently go around uttering phrases like “hip hop and pop!” or “Cool beans!” when they are happy about something.

The press release from Nickelodeon calls it this: “…a new, original live-action comedy series that teaches preschoolers about music appreciation and how to express their feelings and emotions through movement, song and instrumental music. Set to original pop songs, the 20-episode half-hour series also introduces kids to the fundamentals of music such as melody, rhythm, tempo and performance styles.”

I call it grating. Watching the relentlessly upbeat, chipper videos, all I could think was “Seriously? They got rid of “Jack’s Big Music Show” for this?

But actually, I think it’s not aimed at all at the little kids who loved Jack’s. No, I think it’s directed right at the somewhat older kids whose parents let them watch “High School Musical” and whatever other similar stuff is getting churned out of the Disney factory.

Those movies are, really, way too old for the kindergarteners and even preschoolers who I know watch it, but the JumpArounds are the same boppy choreography and wholesome, insipid music as those franchises but aimed at the little-kid set.

It’s enough to make me turn to Yo Gabba Gabba, really. And Yo Gabba Gabba creeps me out.

Hannah Montana's Gone Fruity

JeanneSager — Sun, 03 May 2009 16:16:00 GMT

I'm all for a brand using its sway with kids for good, but do we really need Hannah Montana bananas?

What about Mickey Mouse apples? High School Musical avocados?

Disney has gotten healthy to face the childhood obesity crisis head on, cutting ties with McDonald's (you'll notice there are no Disneyfied happy meals on your summer road trip this year) and slapping giant mouse ears on good, wholesome fare.

So, is it working? According to a look by the Washington Post, yes. When supermarket chain Winn-Dixie linked its bagged apples to High School Musical, sales spiked by forty-seven percent. The Disney Garden line is now appearing in eighteen of the top twenty mass and grocery retailers in the states, and sales grew seventy percent from 2007 to 2008.

I can admit I've fallen victim. My daughter needed a grab and go snack, and she saw Mickey apple slices on the shelves. She asked because they were Mickey. I bought because they were apples. With the same characters in a different aisle on sugar-packed "fruit" snacks, the real thing worked for me. We've also been known to pick up Princess soup because she begged for princesses, and my first introduction to Hannah Montana came in the supermarket when my daughter started shrieking about the pop star on her yogurt. Again, yogurt, much better than potato chips! Trust me - their branding is working on my impressionable three-year-old.

But I'm not sure how I feel about Disney selling health food to my kid. Is it better than peddling the junk? Sure. But does it have to be either or? I shy away from Sesame Street's organic pasta and breastfast offerings too, because as much as we all love Cookie Monster, he's not making me feel better about a processed box of waffles. And I'm not ready for the forecasted Mickey whole wheat chicken nuggets to replace the homemade version I make and freeze in my own kitchen.

Frankly, I'd prefer my kid make her food choices based on things like "amount of whole grains included" or "no trans-fats." I'd like to think she'd pick up an apple because we live in New York and have raised her on some of the nation's best apples, not because there's a cartoon character stamped on the flesh. Ditto avocados. They're fantastically flavorful and you can't have guacamole (yum) withouth them - so do we really need Zac Efron's mug to get them in my cart and on her plate?

Disney is such a powerful brand, I'm happy to see it inching back from the heart attack on a plate foodstuffs its traditionally backed. For parents who have had to measure just buying a requested item over the tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, it's definitely good news. Trust me, been there, heard the screeching. But I can't help wishing food would just go back to being food, no Hannah Montana, no Elmo, no Mickey. It's why I've fought the organic branding too.

Because in fifteen years, she won't be picking food because it has her favorite superhero printed on the front of the bag. She'll just have to go with her gut, and I'd like to think it's one filled with healthy choices.

Image: Washington Post

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Steve Martin Funds Banned High School Production of his Play

Brett Singer — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 03:40:00 GMT

I always liked Steve Martin. One of my first R-rated movies was "The Jerk," and I listened to his comedy albums "Comedy Is Not Pretty" and "A Wild and Crazy Guy" over and over again. (Two words - cat juggling.)

More recently, Steve (he lets me call him Steve - well, we've never met, but I think he'd let me call him Steve. Maybe.) has written a few plays, including "Picasso at the Lapin Agile", which ran Off-Broadway for awhile and has since had many productions around the world. Students at LaGrande High School in Oregon were rehearsing the play when 137 people signed a petition protesting the show. In a bold move, the school stopped the rehearsals.

So Steve (for now, I'll just call him Steve, OK?) offered to pay for a production off campus, far from the reach of the long arm of the educational law.

What was the perceived problem with the show? It features "people drinking in bars, and treating women as sex objects." Now, far be it from me to tell a local high school what they should and should not allow on their stages. But any Shakespearean tragedy features murder. Does that mean it can't be performed? How about the perennial high school musical favorite "The Pajama Game"? Unions. And we all know that "union" is code for "communism."

Steve wrote a letter to the local paper defending his work.

"Because of the controversy, I recently reread the play, and, frankly, I could understand how some parents might object to certain lines if they were to be delivered by a 16- or 17-year-old. Yet I do believe that the spirit of the play and its endorsement of the arts and sciences are appropriate for young eyes and minds.
"So while the question of whether students should perform the play at their high school remains something to be determined by the community, I firmly believe that seeing the play will bring no harm to them and might well uplift them — and acting in the play, if they are permitted by their parents, would also bring them no harm, and may help them to understand the potency, power and beauty of the arts and sciences."

The fact that he decided to go the extra mile and go all "Hamlet 2" and rent a theater off campus is kind of amazing. On the one hand, why should he care? On the other hand, if he believes in freedom of expression, why not put his money where his mouth is?

I bet the students are pretty excited. I know I would be.

Source: The Onion AV Club

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Mom Buys High School Musical Star's Condoms: Would You?

JeanneSager — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:16:00 GMT

If your first reaction to news that High School Musical star Zac Efron's mom buys his condoms is a grimace, don't worry. I don't like thinking of my three-year-old one day having sex either.

But Efron is twenty, and his mom wants him to be safe. Wouldn't you?

When photos of Efron and girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens surfaced, showing them at what appeared to be a sex shop, Efron says his mom confronted him. But she admitted she knew already that he was sexually active - and she showed it by stocking his Christmas stocking with an economy-sized box of condoms.

I don't know that I'd be quite that showy. A box slipped under the pillow or left on the bedroom desk, maybe. Shoved in the Christmas stocking? Er, reserve that for socks and underwear Ma!

But it's nice to see a mother who understands you need to set the squeamishness aside if you want to protect your kids. Remember - I'm not talking about a three-year-old, but if a teen is having sex, and you know it, ignoring it is not going to make it go away. Neither is screaming, yelling or riding them about it. Once it's happened, you have to get cracking.

The problem? A 2000 survey by the Kaiser Foundation showed thirty percent of sexually active teens are too embarrassed to actually condoms (although eighty-seven percent said they believed they were somewhat or very effective at preventing pregnancy, followed by eighty-four who believe they can protect against HIV/AIDS and seventy-two percent against STDs). That's nearly a third of all sexually active kids.

Would you really want to run the risk that your kid is one of the three in ten who won't buy them? Is it worth saving yourself the embarrassment to have to have someone call you Grandma?

So would you follow Mrs. Efron's lead? If you already knew your child was sexually active, would you buy them birth control?

Image: LA Times

RENT Too Risqué For Some Schools

Brett Singer — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 18:30:00 GMT

"Milk" may have won two Oscars (Sean Penn for Best Actor, Dustin Lance Black for Best Original Screenplay) but homosexuality is still a taboo topic at many U.S. schools. Case in point: "RENT: School Edition", a toned down version of the hit Broadway musical that closed last September. Three productions have been canceled due to "objections about the show’s morality, its portrayals of homosexuality and theft, and its frank discussions of drug use and H.I.V." In other words, gay people still make folks uncomfortable.

Growing up in New York City and attending the High School of Performing Arts, my view of the world was a bit skewed. It's easy to forget how intolerant some parts of the country can be. What, pray tell, is everyone so afraid of?

Then there is the question of artistic merit. Do these people really want to sit through an amateur production of "High School Musical" at their local high school? The real thing is unbearable. Imagine "Getcha Head In The Game" sung by squeaky voiced adolescents who are just entering puberty. At least "RENT" has some terrific music. And they already toned down the naughty bits! C'mon folks. It's a new age. Give "RENT" a chance.

Source: NY Times

Image: Amazon

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Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Brett Singer — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:30:00 GMT

I'm going to backtrack now on something I said earlier. I was bemoaning (OK, fine, I was whining) that Disney, who now own the Muppets, were going to ruin what I feel are great characters, thereby destroying the possibility that future generations will derive pleasure from Kermit and Company.

Are you sitting down?

I may have been wrong.

Various Muppets appeared on The Today Show this morning to promote their new holiday special, 'A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa' (airing on NBC tonight at 8pm EST; Newsday gives it an A). (No, I don't mean to imply that Tom Cruise, who also was on this morning, is a Muppet. Although that would explain a lot.) The best part, in my opinion, was Miss Piggy, who as far as I know is still being played by the great Frank Oz.

It's not even that what she said was so hysterically funny. But the way that the hosts just sit and chat with her as if she were something other than felt never gets old to me.

Anyway, here are two clips from Miss Piggy's recent appearance, plus one from earlier this year where the Muppets took over the show and Miss Piggy tied up 'Law & Order' star Christopher Meloni with crime scene tape. Good times, good times.

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout

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Miss Piggy on Today Show

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Older: Muppets Take Over Today Show

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Muppets Take Over the Today Show and Miss Piggy Ties Up Christopher Meloni

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Hopefully these frequent Muppet appearances will get my kids interested in the characters once they outgrow Sesame Street. I grew up loving The Muppet Show, and enjoyed the same shows on DVD with my first son. (The second one doesn't seem interested yet.) With such a multitude of viewing choices out there, reminding us about the Muppets can't be a bad thing.

So there you go! I may have been wrong about Disney and their treatment of the Muppet property. Happy holidays, everyone.

(NOTE: Thank you to the commenter below who points out that the embeds of these videos aren't working. Go to MSNBC.com to find them.)

Source: MSNBC

Image: NYTimes

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Disney trying to revive The Muppets

Brett Singer — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:30:00 GMT

I was going to title this post, "Disney doing everything they can to screw up the Muppets." But that was too long.

The New York Times reports on the fact that Disney is attempting to bring the Muppet "brand back from the dead," as "youth marketing expert" Samantha Skey puts it. ("Youth Marketing Expert" is code for "Spawn of Satan", but that's another topic.)

Eventually, odds are that the Disney Marketing Machine (another term that, loosely translated, means "Spawn of Satan") will succeed in cramming the classic characters down the gullets of children everywhere. This is the company that made Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus Lipschitz (one of those names is fake – guess which!) one of the most successful stars of all time. They've even managed to convince kids that "High School Musical" is something other than awful. So the task of getting that audience to like something that is actually good shouldn't be too tough, right?

The thing is, despite our warm memories of all things Muppet, not every enterprise Kermit and Co. have been involved in has been a success, especially after Papa Henson passed away. "Muppets Tonight" (not mentioned in the Times article) was a flop, not because of bad marketing, but because the show wasn't very good. (I liked it a little bit, but mostly for nostalgia reasons.) And Disney has been trying to get the characters into the Disney machine for some time and so far it hasn't worked out.

Bottom line: since so many parents love them some Miss Piggy, once they see her, they'll want their kids to love her too. So if Disney can manage to put the Pig and her friends in places where both the parents and the kids can see them, they will probably succeed in getting a return on their investment. It doesn't take a marketing genius to figure that out.

Here's the thing about The Muppets. At their best, they are fully realized characters, despite the fact that they are not actually alive. Charles Grodin told a story once that went something like this: when he was filming "The Great Muppet Caper", he turned to Miss Piggy (played by Frank Oz) between takes. He told "her" that he wanted to try the upcoming scene a different way. After a long pause, Oz/Piggy replied (in character, while not being filmed), "Well, I don't really see it that way, but if you want to I guess we can try it." Why tell that story? Because that's what made the Muppets great. Not the green felt, or even Miss Piggy karate chopping anyone who had eyes for her beloved Kermie. It's the characters and the people who played them. To think that you can just pluck Fozzie Bear and the rest into another situation and assume that everyone will have the same positive feelings about them as before is kind of silly.

On a slightly different tack, does it bother you that Disney is taking these characters we grew up with and turning them into shills for generic Disney product?

Source/image: NYTimes

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Fall TV Preview: Monster Buster Club on ToonDisney

Brett Singer — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:30:00 GMT

This animated series, airing in the U.S. on ToonDisney, is about a club. That busts monsters. Yawn.

Here are the basics: a group of four vaguely ethnically diverse kids are part of a "secret society" that protects Earth from alien intruders. Of course, no one can know that these normal (if a bit annoying) middle school kids are in fact keeping their planet safe. So they live in fear of being discovered… well, that's giving them too much credit. They mention every now and then that no one can know who they are. Of course, they could try wearing masks that actually hide their identities, and not bust monsters while the school play is being performed. In front of everyone they know. But hey, why quibble?

The episode I watched, "Acting Out," explains very little of the background; poking around the interwebs I found out the names of the four main characters, the fact that their leader is an old man who is an alien and the grandfather of one of the members, and also that it is never really explained just where this secret society came from. It doesn't really matter, because the show is a mish-mash of elements from other animated series: think "Men in Black" meets "Power Rangers" meets "Little Einsteins". I'm not going to bother giving you the specifics; if you're interested, check out this page on Wikipedia or the official web site.

The plot of "Acting Out" has the same weird obsession with fame that you find on many Disney shows ("Hannah Montana", "High School Musical"). After the club saves an eight-armed talent agent from a lizard-creature (who turns out to be a rival agent – oh, did I spoil the surprise ending? Good, now you don't have to watch the show) he offers to make them "superstars." They get excited until the old man in charge tells them, "Monster Buster Club is a top secret operation, so you can't be superstars." The kids are, of course, bummed out. One of them decides to make commercials that only air on other planets. Of course, now he thinks he's a big star and he's ignoring his Monster Busting duties. Then the granddaughter of the old man in charge, who is not from Earth, ends up playing Juliet in the school play, and the lizard guy comes after her because he can't get to the kid doing commercials… It's a little bit hard to follow, less because it's complicated and more because it's not remotely interesting.

The animation is all computer-generated; think "Jimmy Neutron" but with a smaller budget. (A review on about.com claims that Disney says the budget for the show is $21 million, but, to paraphrase Chris Rock, somebody must be walking around with $20 million in their pocket.) The voices are either just poorly synced or the show was originally recorded in a language other than English (I think it’s the latter, which is foolish.) In general, everyonetalkseallyfast, which is probably because the characters are spouting some of the lamest lines on television. When the lizard-like alien who shows up in the first four seconds escapes: "He's getting away… and even worse, he squished my fruit." When they encounter said lizard-like alien again: "Don’t stick out your tongue, it's not polite…I've seen faster tongues on an old pair of sneakers."

The show claims to be targeted at ages 6-11, but with so many better entertainment options out there, "Monster Buster Club" will only catch on because the Disney Marketing Machine will cram it down everyone's throats. Not recommended.

image: about.com

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Sexy Disney Things for Little Girls, Size 4

Madeline Holler — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:58:00 GMT

There's outrage in the U.K. over a pair of panties marketed by Disney. One pair of the cotton knits, sold in packs of four, plays on a central theme of the movie "High School Musical" -- a swimming pool. But the double-entendre is too much for one British grandma to bear.

The offending underpants passage?

"Dive In!"

Yeah, that's kind of creepy wording for a little girl to be wearing on her underthings, especially since they come as small as size 4 (up to 12).

Disney responded to customer complaints about the undies, saying it was an oversight and that "Dive In!" would not appear on any future movie products. From the Daily Mail:

A Disney spokeswoman said: 'We are very sorry to hear that a customer is unhappy with one of our High School Musical products and apologise for any offence caused.
'Unfortunately a genuine oversight was made and the text on this product was used outside the context of the swimming pool. This product will not be part of any forthcoming collections.'

What do you think? Intolerable prudishness on behalf of consumers or sexualization of young girls? Me? I hate it all.

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Photo: Daily Mail

New Toys from NYC to You

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 16:18:00 GMT

The 2008 Annual Toy Fair is held in New York City this week and features the hottest toys for today's kids. The toy roster includes many old favorites (Incredible Hulk, Star Wars, and Mr. Potato Head anyone?), as well as new figures and products associated with today's most popular television shows and movies.

Hannah Montana, Iron Man, Indiana Jones, and High School Musical, 2 continue to be popular with todays tweens (pregnancy rumors notwithstanding).

And check out the Incredible Hulk Smash Hands...

The Toy Fair concludes today, but it's not too late to stop by and take a look (that is, if you're one of the 15,000 registered buyers or 1,200 exhibitors).. Otherwise, check out the latest toy trends go here...

And if nothing there suits your fancy, remember Mattel is releasing a Heath Ledger doll.

Teen Drug Use Declines; Sales of Pink Floyd Laserium Tickets Also Fall

Kelly Mills — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 23:47:00 GMT

Kids these days. It turns out that teen drug use has taken a downward turn, and less and less kids are using marajuana and meth than in previous years. Since we know marajuana is also linked with being a well-adjusted, socially adept, upstanding young citizen, I think it is pretty clear this is a crisis of epic proportions. Makers of black light posters, Doritos, and the crystal meth snorting travel kit have expressed concern that this could spell trouble for their industries, and at least one meth lab has filed for bankruptcy. Officials are working on a public health campaign for high schools and malls, using the theme, "It's 4:20 All the Time" in an effort to raise awareness of the perils of pot smoking decline among kids.

Now, what drug hasn't declined in use among today's youth? Pills, man. Prescription pills, and particularly OxyContin. Yikes! Well, that kinda makes sense. I mean, have you ever had to take the stuff for medical reasons? Hmmm, doobie or pure bliss in tablet form... Ecstacy use may also be going up again. Omigod, how '90s. That's all sort of troubling. Stay in school, kids.

"High School Musical" Franchise is Unstoppable

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:03:00 GMT

I'd admit it. I haven't paid a lick of attention to the whole High School Musical frenzy. A quick Googling pulls up a description about a high school girl who meets a high school boy while on vacation. Romance ensues, then they part ways. Then she gets transferred to a new school which—surprise!—is high school boy's school. But she's a geek and doesn't fit in with his jock-ly world and...hmmmm...something sounds not-so-vaguely familiar.

Ooh! And, it's directed by Kenny Ortega, better known as the man behind the sexxxy dance moves in both Dirty Dancing and Xanadu.

Anyway, apparently this musical thing is is a huge phenomenon, and with the release of two new movies, it shows no signs of stopping. Disney has announced plans for not one, but two sequels. Haunted High School Musical, "an all-new musical adventure," is set to be released in theaters next year. But Haunted High School Musical will actually be the third installment in the saga (stay with me now), as High School Musical 2 (with cameo appearances by Michelle Pfeiffer and Maxwell Caulfield...I kid!) is scheduled to air on the Disney Channel this summer.

I can't keep it all straight but your tweens probably can.

International Toy Fair 2007: Bratz, High School Musical, and TV Tie-Ins Galore

thezeroboss — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 11:04:00 GMT

(Filed by correspondent Michelle Kung)

It's impossible to discuss girls' toys without bringing up dolls, and it's impossible to discuss dolls without first bringing up Yasmin, Sasha, Cloe, and Jade, better known as the Bratz. Though the appeal of the big-puckered, alien-eyed quartet escapes me (and most parents, I can only presume) the fashion-jonesing dolls are releasing enough new products this year to drive a mom and dad mad. First up, the girls are appearing in a new CGI direct-to-DVD movie entitled Fashion Pixiez, which will be accompanied by MGA Entertainment's tie-in toy line, complete with glittery strap-on fairy wings, and an audio CD. The Bratz will also be featured in their first live-action movie, produced by, among others, the incomparable (and never drunk) Paula Abdul, a.k.a. the original live action bobble-head.

Other Bratz lines in the works revolve around themes of Hollywood red carpets, nature, after-school activities, and an extended pampered "petz" line – pups and kittens, I must admit, far more adorable than the Pound Puppies and Cats I made my mom buy me as a kid.

Barbie is fighting back with her own fairy brand, Fairytopia, which is launching a new film – Magic of the Rainbow – next month. The DVD will push viewers towards products such as Barbie's Fairyoke Wings, which can be strapped onto a young wannabe fairy's back and is musically activated by a wand. Moms of young fairies can wish Mattel's NASCAR line (including Jeff Gordon) and cinematic Enchanted line (including a doll of McDreamy himself, Patrick Dempsey).

And of course, let us not forget new lines of Hillary Duff dolls, Hannah Montana dolls (blond wig and karaoke microphone for you daughter sold separately), Cheetah Girls dolls, Hairspray dolls, and High School Musical dolls, all with appropriate accoutrements.

Sub/Urban: The Journey to High School Musical

thezeroboss — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 01:03:00 GMT

Welcome to Sub/Urban, a recurring feature of Strollerderby in which I'll wax on/wax off about the adventures of two suburban parents who are trying to imbue a love of the big city into our kids. My wife and I live in Redmond, Washington. It only takes a short skip over Lake Washington for us to land in Seattle, where Kim and I spend most of our child-free moments. Let's face it: the suburbs are a fine (cough) place to live. But when it comes to entertainment, the 'burbs don't hold a candle to the Emerald City.

But I didn't go into Seattle last night with my wife. I went with my nine-year-old daughter Neve. Our destination: Key Arena, for High School Musical - The Concert.

"Zero," you may ask, "what the FUCK is High School Musical?!" Oh, grasshopper. Obviously, you don't have a tween or teen in your household. HSM is a DCOM (or "Disney Channel Original Movie", for those who don't speak Disney-ese) about a jock and a science nerd who throw their school's caste system into disarray when they try out for the musical. I may lose all my indie cred for admitting this, but...I liked the film. Cheesy in parts, to be sure (it's Disney - whaddya want, Goodfellas?), but well done nevertheless.

That doesn't mean I wanted to sit in a stadium filled to the rafters with screaming teen hormones. And watch it performed live. For over. Two. HOURS.

It also didn't mean I wanted to wade through Seattle rush hour traffic to make the 7pm show. But Neve's a fanatic for this fucking movie. Plus, it counted toward her Christmas. So what's a dad to do? Hop in the minivan and suck it up, that's what.

My main challenge was braving Interstate 520, which during rush backs up from Seattle to Timbuktu. Kim gave me the Super-Secret Decoder Ring instructions for getting on the highway at the last possible moment, right before the Evergreen Point Floating Bridge that spans the water into Seattle. The directions involved scooting onto the HOV lane using an entrance buried inside a roundabout hidden by shrubbery. (BRING US A SHRUBBERY!) If you don't know it's there, you end up waiting in line with all the other suckers. Thanks to Kim's sub/urban judo skills, though, Neve and I hit the Key with plenty of time to spare.

And the show itself? Survivable. Although there were a few times I thought of pulling out my Pocket PC and texting my wife with the message "I'm in hell". Glancing around, I could see a number of sullen dads who were similarly wishing that a ninja would sneak up behind them and end it all with one well-placed whack to the back of the neck. The worst part was the prices. $20 for a program? $35 for a t-shirt?! It was like being anally raped. And I'm bisexual - I usually enjoy that sort of thing!

But the guy who got shafted the worst was the dad who showed up with his adorable under-2-year-old - without a second ticket. The box office had told him that under-2 got in free. But the Disney Capitalist Machine was having none of that shit; they forced the poor bastard to march over to the ticket window and buy a second admission.

I admire that dude for not going ballistic. If they had pulled that on me after my Suburban Commute from Hell, the world would be missing a few Disney employees this morning.