Strollerderby : gynecology

Personal Training for Vaginas

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 23:27:00 GMT

You know feminism has succeeded when the world’s first spa devoted solely to toning vaginal walls opens up in New York City. That’s right, ladies: now you can pamper yourselves with Kegel exercises and cosmetic laser treatments to tighten your vulva skin—because in the words of Dr. Lauri Romanzi, the innovative founder of Phit (Pelvic Health Integrated Techniques), postmenopausal women’s vaginas can become downright “scrotal.” Ew! Scrotums are gross.

Fortunately, for only $150 the charming Dr. Romanzi will give you a personal diagnosis of your pelvic fitness. Then she’ll prescribe a regimen of pelvic exercises that she prefers to call “personal training.” She may even suggest that you buy your very own electrostimulation machine to improve your pelvic muscle tone. (Don’t get too excited: they don’t vibrate.)

You may be surprised to learn that many medical professionals think “pelvic fitness” is nothing but a joke. While pelvic exercises are sometimes prescribed for women with minor urinary incontinence, several gynecologists interviewed for the New York Times story on Phit said there is no medical reason for healthy women to pursue a “pelvic fitness” regimen. As one white-robed naysayer put it, “The common practice in gynecology is we treat where there is a problem."

But Dr. Romanzi takes a more aesthetic view of preventive care. “If you can vote and you have a vagina, you should do these [pelvic exercises],” she said, leaving me to wonder: What the hell does voting have to do with it? I don’t know about yours, but my hoo-hoo could care less about politics. Maybe I should enroll her in a political science class right after her personal training session....

Photo: New York Times

Rich guy pretends to be gynecologist to see women naked

Brett Singer — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:00:00 GMT

I always thought that if you were rich, you could get dates. I mean, money can't buy you love, but it can buy you sex, right?

Well, maybe not. Zalman Silber, a "wealthy businessman" from Monsey, NY, has been accused of playing doctor, literally. Two women have charged that Silber rented a Park Avenue office and pretended to be a gynecologist. Then he gave the women, um, a full exam. This article at LoHud.com goes into a little bit more detail; let's just say that Silber did a very thorough examination.

He may have worked a similar scheme with a police officer in Rockland County. According to today's Daily News, Silber would tell women that they needed a gynecological exam in order to obtain a certain insurance policy, and that the exam had to be given by this doctor. At his house. Except that the doctor wasn't really a doctor, he was a cop. Then Silber would watch from another room. The officer has been suspended from the force without pay pending a full investigation.

It gets better (well, creepier). Silber's lawyer is Kenneth Gribetz, a former Rockland County District Attorney who resigned in a scandal that included such juicy details as an extra-marital affair and photos of him in women's clothing. So far his defense of Silber is that, "the statute of limitations [has] run out on two of the incidents cited by investigators," and "only two of four victims were able to pick Silber out of a lineup." Oh! Then he must be innocent.

This should be some trial.

Silber, a Hasidic Jew, is married with five children and another on the way. His wife Gila, "declined to comment." Wouldn't you?

Let be the first to say that Silber is not good for the Jews.

If you want to know how he got rich, you can read this article over at Inc.com. Silber created the Skyride, a simulated helicopter ride at the Empire State Building. He then sold the business for almost $10 million. A sample of his business advice: "Take advantage of other people's toil. That's really what everything is about." What a guy. He is described a "well-known philanthropist" who is "known within the Jewish community for helping people pay for medical care and other services." Or offering them a discount if he treats them himself! (Ba-dum-bum.) His ex-wife's brother, Alexander Halpert of Borough Park, Brooklyn, said, "He's a good man. When someone needed a doctor, he would arrange it." Yeah, maybe that's not the best thing to say right now.

It should be pointed out that all of these charges are unproven and are merely allegations. Even R. Kelly was found innocent. So who knows. But what a creepy story. It's like I've always said: men are pigs. (And I can say that, because I am one.)

image: New York Daily News

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Show(ing) and Tell(ing) A Little Too Much...

Alisyn — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 13:09:00 GMT

Depending on the kind of kid you are, show-and-tell can either be an exciting and interesting opportunity to brag about your stuff and act like a goofball in front of the class, or it can be a dreadful and nerve-wracking experience, during which you can't think of anything to say and have 40 eyes burning into your brain. For me, it was the latter - I just couldn't get into it. I was jealous of kids like Kade Mount, my 3rd-6th grade compatriot, who had pounds of effortless charisma, and once brought his butt for show-and-tell. And boy, did he show-and-tell. You don't even want to know...

These boys remind me of a little of Kade, only with less smart-ass attitude, and more blissful ignorance. And a lot of interest in gynecology. Show-and-tell sure ain't what it used to be...

Show & Tell