Strollerderby : gay kids

They Say: Shunning Gay Kids Bad for Their Health

JeanneSager — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 16:36:00 GMT

Gee, who would have ever thought being told they're just not good enough could be bad for kids?

Apparently researchers at the César E. Chávez Institute at San Francisco State University. They actually took money and did a full-fledged study to figure out gay kids are at higher risk for a number of health problems if they're shunned by their families. Ya think?

What ever happened to funding studies that do things like - oh I don't know - find a cure for children's cancer?

The study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics showed a link between the family rejection of lesbian, gay and bisexual kids and a higher risk of a serious health problems, such as depression, illegal drug use, risk for HIV infection, and suicide attempts. Compared to kids who came from families who were accepting of their sexuality, those who experienced rejection were more than eight times more likely to have attempted suicide, almost six times more likely to be depressed, three times more likely to use illegal drugs and three times more likely to have unprotected sex.

I'm not excusing the parents here - they need to get a grip. But let's say they struck sexuality from the criteria and looked simply at kids who were rejected by their families versus those we were accepted. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a child who's mom or dad tells them they're worthless who hasn't contemplated suicide or wouldn't qualify for a dose of Prozac.

It's encouraging that researchers are willing to look at sexuality in children - lending further credence to the fact that people are born gay (or straight), and evidence of sexuality in kids is natural. But sometimes, they just go too far to categorize kids and families. Gay kids need love. So do straight kids. If parents can't provide it, their kids are in trouble, period.

Image/Source: RedOrbit

They Say: Schools Near Fast Food Makes Fat Kids

Principal Censors Pro-Gay School Paper

Dad Uses Alternative Meds, Girl Ends up Braindamaged

Jamie Foxx: Just a Normal Dad?

They Say -- Kids Who Skip Breakfast and Hate Mom Have Sex Sooner

Return of the son of stuff YUPPIE parents like

Brett Singer — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Because too much is never enough. And besides, didn't you want to see this photo at least one more time?

1. Organic everything: from a commenter. I've succumbed to some of this, partly because, living in Manhattan, the cost difference isn't as great as it used to be, and sometimes the quality is better. I also admit that I feel less guilt giving my kids "organic" pre-packaged crap than I do giving them "chemical-laden" pre-packaged crap. It's still crap, but it's ORGANIC crap.

2. Classes and activities: yes, from the same commenter. She said, "mommy and me classes" but in my experience it's much more than that. Around here, it seems like everyone has their kids doing something all flippin' day. A parent once told me that she didn't understand why Kindergarten went until 3pm; she wished it ended at noon so her kid could take advantage of everything Manhattan had to offer. I replied that I thought Kindergarten should go until 8pm. We don't talk much anymore.

3. Kids' music that parents can enjoy: All parents have benefited from the boom in kiddie rock. While I am of course very glad that children's music has evolved beyond Raffi (who really isn't that bad) and Kidz Bop (which is), sometimes this preciousness can go a little too far. Sure, anything by Dan Zanes or The Dirty Sock Funtime Band is better than Barney's Greatest Hits, but a little James Taylor, Peter Paul and Mary, The Beatles – lots of great "adult" music out there that kids might like.

4. Taking their children to live rock 'n' roll shows: "Alternadad" Neal Pollack brought his little one to see The Hives, a rather loud quasi-punk act. I spotted two sets of parents who had dragged their children to see Yaz at the Beacon theater (I myself was dragged by my wife, but that's another story). When commenters on Gawker are giving good parenting advice ("Neil [sic], seriously--ear plugs"), you know something is out of whack in the universe.

5. Anything that isn't made of granite. At least after we found out about the radiation.

For more, click here.

image: nostalgiacentral.com

More stuff YUPPIE parents like

Baby Penis Album only five bucks

Stuff White Parents Like

When playgrounds attack, the sequel

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

Here's to the laddies who lunch

Kid Food Is Mostly Crap, and It's a Little Shocking

More stuff YUPPIE parents like

Brett Singer — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

If you want to know why YUPPIE is written in CAPS, check out the comments on Redsy's post.

Also, a word of explanation for our younger readers: "yuppie" is a term that was coined in the 1980's. It means "Young Urban Professional." Obnoxious spin off terms include "buppie" (black urban professional) and "guppie" (gay urban professional, which is at least vaguely amusing). In general, I think that the term "yuppie" is (like myself) color-blind, so we'll just stick with that. (My color-blindness mostly means I need help choosing ties, but it also refers to non-clothing related issues.)

And now – the stuff!

1.   Fertility treatments: maybe this is a Manhattan thing, but I've seen several signs in drug store windows advertising help getting your health insurance to help pay to get you pregnant. My theory (unfounded and unresearched) is that there are a large number of parents having children later in life, and also a huge number of older dads starting second families with their second wives.
2.   Wooden toys: this is from a commenter, and it's totally true. I fully expect some "mompreneur" to start selling unadorned two-by-fours in colorful packaging. (Hang on, I need to copyright that idea.)
3.   SUV's: hopefully the price of gas will put the kibosh on these. There are other ways to schlep a family around town.
4.   Hybrid cars: for the parents who don't want SUV's. It's all about extremes, people.
5.   Feeling entitled to brunch: In some cases, even men want to emulate the Sex and the City gals.

For more, click here.

image: nostalgiacentral.com

Baby Penis Album only five bucks

Are Brangelina Too Posh to Procreate (the Old-Fashioned Way)?

Return of the son of stuff YUPPIE parents like

Mister Frickin' Rogers

Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

More Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

When playgrounds attack, the sequel

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

Here's to the laddies who lunch

Stuff White Parents Like

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:01:00 GMT

Inspired by the brilliant site Stuff White People Like, here are some things white (or, if you prefer, "yuppie") parents like:

1. Waldorf education - it's very expensive and makes perfect sense for parents concerned with creativity and limiting screen time.

2. Attachment parenting - only white parents need to label what has been a practice among cultures for hundreds of years.

3. Childrearing experts - White parents love to read books about child development, preferably while talking on their BlackBerry and returning emails.

4. Birth order studies- arguably, birth order tells us something about a person's proclivity to want to be taken care of (youngest child) or in charge (oldest child). White parents seem particularly interested in these kinds of studies.

5. Non-toxic coloring markers - With all the lead in toys and potential radon emissions from granite countertops, it seems silly for parents to worry about coloring markers. But worrying is something white parents love to do.

6. Gay children's children - Dick Cheney proved that even Republicans can love their gay children's children. Thanks, Dick.

For more stuff, go here...

New York Governor's Decision to Recognize Gay Marriages Brings Unexpected Praise (and Hugs)

Erin White — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:13:00 GMT

Of course Governor Paterson was expecting suppportive phone calls and cheering from his LGBT constitutents when he ordered state agencies to recognize same-sex marriages last week. What he wasn't expecting were hugs. From straight people.

According to this New York Times article, Paterson was eating dinner in a Manhattan restaurant when a couple "approached him, introduced themselves, and then each hugged him. Their son was gay, they told Mr. Paterson, and they wanted to let the governor know how thankful they were about his policy."

So while parents might not want their kids to be gay, it's no surprise that when they are, many parents want them to have the same opportunities for love and happiness that other people's children have. Even if it means taking out a second mortgage to pay for the wedding.

Gay-Friendly in Name Only?

Amy Kuras — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 22:45:00 GMT

Would you care if your kid was gay?

I'd be willing to bet that for most people who read Strollerderby, the answer would be "Of course not." You're for the most part urban, educated, bright –generally a forward-thinking bunch.

But this post on the Details blog by David Hochan suggests that typical liberal gay-positive parent may be saying all the right things about having a gay offspring, but in their heart of hearts they are thinking much differently.

The fathers quoted in the article, all of whom were given anonymity in exchange for honesty, protest a little too much about how totally awesome and gay-friendly they are ("If I''m on a set and there are no gay people, I actually get worried," one who works in the TV industry hand-wrings). When asked how they'd feel about their own sons being gay, though, they to a man were not thrilled with the idea. Most said they didn't want their kids to contend with the discrimination and sometimes worse that being gay could bring upon their kids.

But at least one expert quoted disparaged that attitude, pointing out that being gay hardly sentences a child to a miserable life.

Damn straight. This may be my Pollyanna side talking, but I do think that by the time my kids, who are 3 years and 7weeks old repsectively, reach adulthood sexual orientation will be a nonissue. After all, when I was in high school in the 1980s there was no such thing as a Gay-Straight Alliance; now they are common. Our kids' generation seems a lot more open to any kind of difference. And that will be all to the good, for everybody.

Gay PDX Teens Kicked off City Bus for Kissing

Alisyn — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 18:10:00 GMT

Where I come from, teenage lesbians kissing on the city bus would not only not raise eyebrows, it would pretty much be expected, or, at the very least, encouraged. Just one of the many perks of living in the Bay Area, the way I see it.

And I've always assumed that our neighbors to the north, in Portland, Oregon, were the same way: liberal, peaceful, live-and-let live types. Which is why I was shocked when I read that a city bus driver had kicked two smoochy teenage girls off his bus, miles from their destination, after another rider complained, calling them "sickos." Maika Rich and Jocelyn O'Neal, both 14 (pictured), were en route to the Sexual Minority Youth Recreation Center, and felt "defensless" against the two adults, though they are used to discrimination from their peers.

The Portland transit authority, TriMet, says that the TriMet policy is "to never kick an underage or vulnerable person off the bus," and that the unknown driver will face "disciplinary action," although they would not say what that action will be. I hope, at the very least, it involves some sensitivity training, a long, unpaid suspension, and a little public humiliation thrown in for good measure.

School Can't Tolerate Gay Tolerance Club

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 13:33:00 GMT

As if gay high school students don't have it rough enough, a Florida school district banned a gay-straight tolerance club, arguing it amounted to a sex club and violated the school's "abstinence only" policy.

There's a bright spot, however, in this story about being intolerant of a tolerance club.

The ACLU sued on behalf of the club and won an injunction to allow the club to continue meeting on campus while the case works its way through the court system.

But there's something even brighter.

I can't tell you how pleased I am the school district moved to stop this club from meeting on campus. Allowing it to meet, allowing a few students to gather in abandoned classrooms and speak about one day being treated equally would have done very little to get people talking about tolerance. Ban it, however, and suddenly everyone's talking about it -- about issues, about, hopefully, equality. That's a good start. I just hope the discussion continues.

Gay Kids May be Finding it Easier to Come Out These Days

Karen Murphy — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 11:56:00 GMT

When my older son was about three, he took to wearing an old skirt of his big sister's (she was about 15 then). At first it was just around the house, but eventually he insisted, as three-year-olds do about a whole host of things, to be allowed to wear it when and where he pleased. At that point I was used to putting barrettes in his hair and seeing him carry around an old purse (he made quite a striking figure in a very boyish polo shirt, a raggedy black pleated knit skirt, sparkly barrettes, and the purse). It was capped off when his dad bought him, for his fourth birthday, a pair of pink plastic high heeled shoes. Nathaniel refers to that time as "when he was a girl" and in fact most people did take him for a girl for at least a year, complimenting me on my "lovely daughters" after his little sister was born.

Now, I know enough to know that gender issues have nothing necessarily to do with being gay, but my son's preferences during that time did bring a question to the forefront, which was, "What if my son is gay?" My conclusion? "No problem." I knew I would be able to accept my son for who he was, whoever that turned out to be. Well, I hoped I would, of course, not really knowing how I would be in reality, because how can you know your reaction to anything in advance? But I hope I will be open to it when and if it comes up in his life. Or his sister's. Or his little brother's, for that matter.

It's not so easy in many families. There are expectations, misunderstandings, long-held beliefs, a whole host of things that all could make a kid's coming-out as gay one of the most difficult, painful, and stressful times of his (or her) life as well as the family's. Apparently, though, the climate is changing somewhat according to this New York Times article which tells the poignant story of Zach O'Connor and his family. Zach came out to his parents at the age of 13, much younger than what was previously the norm, at the same time escaping the years of angst that often have preceded such an announcement. Apparently this is a trend fueled in part by increasing social visibility through the Internet and TV shows like "Will and Grace." In addition, there is a burgeoning number of support groups and social groups in many communities and schools to help these kids connect and understand.

I think that this trend toward acceptance can only be a good thing. I went to high school with a couple of boys who came out afterward, and I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for them in high school. It's wonderful that Zach's parents are as accepting as they are of him, and I hope that this truly is a trend for the future.

Rachel Griffiths: "When Does One Know When One's Child is Gay?"

Alisyn — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 13:17:00 GMT

The fantastic Australian actress Rachel Griffiths (Six Feet Under, Muriel's Wedding, Hilary & Jackie) wondered aloud, in an interview with The Advocate, about the sexual orientation of her 3 year-old son, Banjo Patrick Taylor (dad is Australian artist Andrew Taylor):

"Banjo is having gender issues at the moment: He’s looking in the mirror and keeps telling me that the mirror’s telling him he’s a girl. I sometimes wonder when one knows when one’s own child is gay."

And if he is? It doesn't sound like it will be a problem for Rachel, who is currently starring on the gay-positive series Brothers and Sisters, and who is supportive of the gay community, in her life and in her work: " There are many gay men in my life that are very close to our family. I don’t think it’ll be too long before they figure out that sometimes a man loves a man... I’m proud to be on a family drama that’s totally mainstream and can integrate a gay character who’s in no way “other” and who is not deprived of any of the joys and difficulties that his straight siblings go through."

If he does turn out to be gay, it sounds like Banjo will be one of the few gay kids who are fortunate enough to have a supportive family.