Strollerderby : finances

How Much Would It Cost You to Take a Career Break?

Miriam Axel-Lute — Fri, 29 May 2009 15:00:00 GMT

The New York Times (h/t Creative Class blog) has an interesting report on the financial penalties sustained in different fields by people who take some time out of the workforce. Apparently, although medicine has the most grueling training, once you get there, it's a lot easier on work/life balance than, say, finance, business consulting, or law. Or even academia.

Of course by "people who take time off for family" we still mean mostly (but not entirely) women (it used to be called the Mommy track, remember?), and I'm surprised that the research didn't explore whether women and men experienced different financial penalties when they do take time. (And I'm surprised that the Creative Class blog post didn't even acknowledge that gender is still a huge factor in this.)

It's also, perhaps, a little hard for me to get too worked up about the relatively lower salaries of highly paid MBAs and PhDs who've taken a few years off when there are so many other people for whom work-life balance means being able to get paid time off or support their family without taking on a second job. Ok, so perhaps that's a little too harsh. Work-family balance is important for everyone, for the kids, and because people who've been forced to work 70-hour weeks when their kids are young often have a I-did-it-so-you-should-too attitude toward their own subordinates, not to mention about efforts to improve work-life balance for everyone.

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Your Kid's Identity Is at Risk

JeanneSager — Tue, 19 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Identity theft may be the hot topic at many a dinner party, but it might be time to start talking social security numbers on the playground.

Because hackers have turned their eyes toward our kids, making them the number one target of identity theft.

According to a recent article in Hitched, kids identities are the fastest growing sector for theft, and because kids aren't generally USING their own identities (not in the sense of a credit identity anyway), it can go unnoticed for years.

Just think, when was the last time you had to haul out your child's social security number for anything? Besides our yearly tax filing, I can count on one hand the number of times I've used it since she was born, and each time I've had to pull out the card to check the digits. Where we as parents can keep close tabs on our credit card bills to monitor any odd spending, most kids don't have bills coming to the house. Even kids' savings accounts are less likely to be monitored by adults - chiefly because we don't use them for anything other than holding money, which we'll check in oh, about eighteen years when the first tuition bill arrives.

No wonder the FTC has found half a million child identities are stolen every year, a number they expect to rise. According to the Identity Theft Resource Center, more than half of those children whose identities were corrupted were under the age of six. Late last year, a study from Javelin Strategy and Research estimated one in twenty kids overall have been victimized. They've rung up an average of $12,000 in wrongly assigned debt.

Foster kids are a major target too. Shuttled in and out of homes, their most secret information is an open book shared with hundreds of adults, and not always the most trustworthy types. They're also more likely to come out of homes where parents have fallen on hard times, parents who used their identity with the best of intentions. A mom who couldn't get an electric company to allow her to open an account in her name, for example, uses her child's name and social security number to try to keep lights on for the family. But when she can't get a job and fails to pay the bills, the black marks grow on the child's credit.

With the grim economic picture, that's a factor that's spreading to more and more homes. The economy is no doubt having an affect on the numbers of desperate people looking for a clean slate.

Makes you want to run out and order your child's credit report, doesn't it? You should. Hitched has a list of other tips to protect your kids here. Will you be making some changes?

Image: Dr Bulldog

Stay At Home Moms Worth $122,000

JeanneSager — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:29:00 GMT

I was recently accused of inciting a mommy war between the "stay at homes" and the "working mothers." I honestly out-right guffawed. Because as a working mom who spends part of her time working from home, I've always felt sort of betwixt and between. And respected the heck out of both sides!

Not to mention the list of stay at home dads and working dads I know (including some of my fellow 'Derby writers).

And now to show all you stay-at-home full-timers how much I think you're worth, a little math from Salary.com. In the "real" world, you'd be raking in six figures.

Based on ten daily functions described by a survey of some twelve thousand stay-at-home moms (why they didn't include dads I don't know - those numbers are growing!), the average stay-at-homer should be earning $122,732 a year. In other words - that's what they'd be paying someone else to do all of those duties.

The reason I love this number? Because everytime one of my stay-at-home mom friends tells me she feels like she should kowtow to her working partner, I can throw it at her. See, you're not just worth something as a human being. You're also worth something in the world of family finance.

My biggest contention has always been that those of us who work out of the home usually PAY someone to watch our children. So a stay-at-home mom or dad is saving the family that money.

Then throw in how many more take away meals are consumed in families where both partners work (because as Keri noted the other day, the finances weigh out - it's cheaper to cook it than to buy it). Ironically, several comments left on Keri's post came from parents who don't believe a baking parent's time is worth anything special. This survey begs to differ.

The Salary.com survey goes on to list eight other occupations filled by a stay-at-home parent, including "housekeeper, computer operator, facilities manager, van driver, psychologist, laundry machine operator, janitor and chief executive officer."

The survey puts a working parent's "at home" salary around $76,184. You have to tack on their actual wages to come up with a fair number - but I'd reckon you then have to subtract daycare, take away meals, etc.

So who's better? Neither one. And I say that as a betwixt and between parent. We're all just doing what works for us. But we're all worth something - just ask our kids.

Image: More4Kids

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Parents are People Too - They Date

JeanneSager — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 19:52:00 GMT

There are two words that even today I can't stand to be used in the same sentence. OK, maybe three. "My parents" and "sex."

No, I'm not a prude. Yes, that's just . . . ewww. So the new dating site for single parents might have a goofy name, but it's kind of, well, true. Parents "R" People.

Well, duh.

But has anyone told their kids yet? Because parents plus dating is often pretty icky as far as kids are concerned.

Started up by a single mom and licensed clinical social worker, the site is recession-proof because it's free. "I am a single mom and finances are often tough for us...working and supporting kids," explains founder Stacy Schwed. "It is also tough for single dads who are working, and running their household while also paying child support."

Technically the site is a social media setting for parents - any parents, including married ones. But change your marital status to "looking," and it becomes a place for single parents to possibly get rid of the "single" part of the title. For a lot of single parents, the biggest fear of stepping out there again is the second part of their title - "parent." But as Schwed points out, parents are people too, and there's a guarantee someone on the other end of the DSL line gets what it's like to have kids.

"I believe everyone deserves a chance to be happy and have in their lives what they truly want...including a great relationship," Schwed says. Because parents might be single, but that doesn't mean we're dead. Not even our sex drives.

Image:

Does a Baby Fit Your Budget?

Amy Kuras — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:31:00 GMT

When making the decision to have kids, how much of it was financial? And how much of it was based on the state of your relationship, your housing situation, your career, and that loudly ticking biological clock? Or simply on emotion -- something in you just knew that now was the time?

I can't imagine that too many people make it solely a financial decision -- it's not like buying a house or opening a mutual fund. But I will acknowledge that you should probably give a little more thought to a baby's impact on your finances than, say, we did. Of course, if we'd toted up the numbers beforehand my first child, possibly, and my second child, certainly, would not be here, and that's a worse thought than the idea I may be living on cat food in retirement.

This quiz from US News and World Report scores your readiness financially based on your anwer to a few simple questions . I have a quibble with what they consider the amount of cash you should have at the ready for baby items--$5,000 to $10,000?? Seriously? Do they realize kids can successfuly grow to adulthood without a Bugaboo and even while wearing hand-me-down clothes and playing with hand-me-down toys? -- but it's a pretty simple and sobering look at the kind of impact a baby has. I don't know that it would have changed anything for us, but I do think people should give the financial aspect a little more thought.

Georgia Family Has Everything They Own Up on eBay

JeanneSager — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 13:59:00 GMT

I could make all sorts of jokes about throwing in the kitchen sink. But I won't.

Because there's nothing funny about the circumstances that forced Gregg and Brittiny Peters to put every single item in their household up on eBay. That means the washing machine, the beds, even the family car.

Gregg, a tennis instructor, and Brittiny, a stay-at-home mom, have three kids. Seven-year-old Ayla has a rare and debilitating form of arthritis while two-year-old Noah is autistic. The medical bills have crippled the family, and the economic downturn hasn't helped.

So they put everything up - first on eBay where they have set the opening bid at $20,000, the exact amount of medical debt hanging over their head. Then, someone launched a Website dedicated to their cause, www.everythingweown.org. The title page says it all - Everything We Own, Except the House and Kids.

It wasn't the Peterses creating the site - it was art gallery owners Don Weir and Andrea Chandler, who say the Peterses weren't asking for anyone to give them money. But people wanted to give. So Weir and Chandler threw up the site, which tells the Peterses' heartbreaking story:

"We are just 2 average people who became 1 above-average "team" when we met and fell in love almost 9 years ago. We both agree that neither one of us would be "whole" or "complete" without each other! Our incredible love for one another has ALWAYS pulled us through even the most difficult times we have faced together."

Reading up on the Peterses' blog, Brittiny breaks down their medical issues - she has a blood clotting disorder that's made it hard to obtain health insurance, while Gregg is self-employed and thus doesn't have an employer-sponsored health plan. They have Medicaid, but it falls short on covering a lot of the kids' bills, and does nothing to cover the loss of income when Gregg has to stay home to help out with the kids or the travel expenses of seeing out-of-town specialists. Since 2001, the couple has suffered through losing a baby at three months and watching another come into the world stillborn. Their three surviving children are their "blessings," despite the maladies that have put the Peters' in such dire straits.

"Nothing's more precious than the kids, not a sofa, not a TV. It is as simple as that," said Gregg Peters in an interview with the Daily News.

So far, there have been no bids on eBay. The family is selling it all as a lot - from the kids' swingset to Mom's jogging stroller. The latter site has brought in $10,000 in donations so far - and if the eBay site doesn't get any hits, they're going to break it all down and sell things off item by item.

A part of me would love to see the donations mount so high they never have to come to that point, but an even bigger part of me says good for you to the Peters. As Brittiny says on the family's blog, Gregg worked hard for everything they owned - and they bought nice things BEFORE the children's diagnoses put a financial strain on the family. Now they're acting responsibly and selling the "nice things" off one by one.

It's sad that it has to come to that. But here's a family who has taken the words "fiscal responsibility" to heart. Their kids are lucky to have them.

Suze Orman's Advice for Babble Readers!

editors — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Last week, Babble had the opportunity to participate in an Oprah-sponsored blogger q&a with financial guru Suze Orman, on whom our editors have an unrepentant crush, leopard-print blazers and all. Below, highlights from our conversation about college savings, credit card debt and how to change your financial situation in an hour or less. -- Gwynne Watkins

Babble:

One thing that comes up in discussions on our message boards is that cash-strapped parents are torn between saving money to their retirement funds and saving money for their children’s college funds. Which would you say should be a priority?

Suze Orman:

Now, without a shadow of a doubt, the parents’ retirement account. Forever I have been saying you cannot get a loan for retirement, that’s number one. Number two: There are today, because of the economic situation in the United States, you’re going to see over time Stafford loans, which are loans for kids going to school, whether they’re subsidized, which you need financial aid for essentially, or unsubsidized. You’re going to see interest rates be relatively low on those loans.

Plus loans, which are loans for parents to help their children, at approximately an 8.5% interest rate: Those loans have been changed now where you do not have to pay those loans back until after the student has graduated school. So that is a new change for how plus loans work. So there are loans that one can get for a relatively good interest rate to see your kids through school. However, there is nothing that will help you retire unless you have money in an account to do so. So first, you have to save yourself before you can save your children.

In today’s day and age, especially with the markets being as low as they are, especially the fact that maybe you’ve already put some money in a retirement account and you’ve seen that money go down, you have got to continue to dollar-cost-average into good diversified investments as long as you have at least ten years or longer until you need this money, so that you can decrease the price of the investments that you have so that when these markets do finally recover, you can make money on it. So especially right now, given this economy, you have got to save yourself first and put money away for your own retirement before you put money away for your child’s college education.

Babble:

We all know we should be budgeting more carefully, but keeping to a budget can seem so intimidating for people who aren’t used to tracking their finances. So what would you say is the best way for them to start?

Suze Orman:

I have a really, really hard time with budgets, and the reason I have a hard time with budgets is that budgets are just like diets. Neither of them work. Neither of them work. You go on a diet, you restrict, you lose – I mean, it happens to me all the time. You lose five pounds, ten pounds, and then you get so frustrated because you didn’t get to do what you want; you now eat everything you want and now you gain 20.

   The same is true with a budget. When you restrict and you restrict, all of a sudden you get so – you’re just so out there that you go and that’s when you all of a sudden start buying Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choo shoes and all these purses that you don’t need to spend that kind of money on. You just give up all hope. So I don’t like diets and I don’t like budgets. What do I like?

   I like consciousness. I like people being able to decide what they should be spending money on and what they shouldn’t; what they want to eat and what they should be eating that’s good for them, versus what they know is bad. And when you stay in touch with who you are and what makes you healthy, so that you can live your best life – whether it’s with food, whether it’s with money, whether it’s with exercise, whether it’s with spirituality – all the topics that that Best Life Week is going to deal with – when you are in touch with who you are, and you make conscious decisions or decisions from a place of consciousness, knowing that it’s an intelligent decision, it’s a wise decision, it’s not an emotional decision, it’s not an irrational decision – then what happens is you automatically choose the right choices for you. You eat what’s good for you, you spend money on things that are wise for you and that you need, and everything falls in place.

   So it’s not about budgets and being restricted. It’s not about diets and choosing the right – and limiting what you can and cannot eat. It’s getting in touch with your own power, so that you make the right choices for you, and when you make the right choices for you, then you live your best life. And when you live your best life, you feel even more powerful; that allows you to make even better choices for you.

Wise Bread:

What are some of the easiest things that someone can improve their financial situation right now? Something they can do within maybe under an hour or two that will totally change your financial position?

Suze Orman:

Truthfully, within an hour, in even less than an hour, what changes your financial position is knowing your financial position – getting honest with the position that you’re in financially speaking. The reason that most people get into trouble when it comes to money is they don’t know how much money they owe in totality. They don’t know the interest rates that they’re paying. They don’t know anything about what it really takes them to live month in and month out, on average, to live the lifestyle that they’re living.

What you can do to improve your financial situation in less than an hour is to get your checkbooks out, get your ATM statements out, get every possible thing over the past year that you have spent money on, and sit down and divide them in 12 different categories. In fact, on oprah.com, when we do the Webinar on January 15th, we will have done this for you, where there will be an electronic expense sheet that everybody will be able to have, so they can see what it really costs them to live month in and month out.

But basically what I’m asking people to do is go back and categorize everything that you have spent money on over the past year. Add them up and add it all together and divide by 12. That is how much money you need month in and month out to be coming in, so that you don’t get into credit card debt. You compare that to the amount of money you actually have coming in. Now we’re getting honest. If you don’t have enough money coming in, you have either one or two things to do: You have to cut down on your expenses and/or you have to make more money. So you can turn your entire financial life around in less than one hour by simply getting honest with what you have and what you don’t have.

Baby Center:
What about parents who have saved perhaps not as much as you advise, three months of living expenses, but yet are threatened with not being able to pay mortgages, daycare and whatnot after that three months runs out, and their husband or whomever still hasn’t found the job -- what do you advise doing now?

Suze Orman:

If I’m getting your question right, they’ve saved for three months, they don’t have income coming in. They’ve used up their three months, correct? Is the wife a stay-at-home mother or is the wife working as well?

Baby Center:

Full-time working.

Suze Orman:

Full-time working. See, here’s the thing, is that when you find yourself in a situation where the bills are still coming in, you have to pay them, and there isn’t enough money to do so, the normal thing that people do is they start charging things on credit cards that normally they would pay cash for. They go to the grocery store and they charge their groceries on a credit card and when the credit card bill comes in, they just pay the minimum.

Normally I would have to say, please don’t do that. You have to find another way. But let’s say in a time – and let’s be realistic about this – unemployment is skyrocketing here. We’re in recession. What if, no matter what, you can’t find another job, you’re already working five jobs, you’re doing everything you can possibly do? It’s at that point in time that if you’re just being realistic, then you might have to put things on credit cards so that you can feed yourself, so that you can possibly just get by day to day.

Is that something that I want to see you do? No. But that’s a reality, which is why you should always, if you can, if you can only have three months of an emergency fund, it would be great for you to also have credit cards that aren’t charged to the max, that have available credit limits on them, that in a dire case – the last-ditch effort after all your money is gone—that at least for a while, you can do ethical things with it.

Now, an ethical thing is not you use this credit card to go to Disneyland.; you use this credit card to go out to eat at a restaurant; you use this credit card to buy one item of clothing. Ethical things, truthfully, are you are going to the grocery store and you are buying beans and rice so that you can feed your kids. Do you see? So those are things that you just have to have as a backup if you don’t have anything else in place, because when you don’t have a backup, what do you do? Do you know how many people – mothers – are now calling in to my own Suze Orman Show to tell me that they are living in their cars with their children?

To avoid that, you have got to plan for the worst and hope for the best. So all I’m asking everybody to do while things are still relatively okay, when you go into a store and you want to buy something, is it a need or is it a want? Are you going through your life saying, I’m going to buy this because I deserve it? What every single mother, especially, deserves is a life that she doesn’t have to worry about where the money’s going to come so she could feed herself and her children.

We deserve a good quality of life and a peaceful life. These things that we think we deserve, which are vacations, eating out, being able to go to the movies – those aren’t things that we deserve; those are things, if you do not have the money to pay for it, will eventually come back and bite you. And as you’re lying in your car at night, you’ll think of, oh, my God, I can’t believe what I did, and look at me now.

Get Rich Slowly:

Having once been over $35,000 in debt myself, I know that it’s one thing to say you’re ready to get out of debt and to stop using credit cards, but it’s another thing to actually maintain the dedication for the days and the years that are needed to pay that debt off. I’m wondering if you have any favorite behavioral tips or tools for maintaining motivation with new goals for a New Year’s resolution.

Suze Orman:

Yes. You know, what’s very fascinating is that the desire to want to use the drug known as credit cards is a very, very strong pull on people. It’s almost as strong – I’m very serious about this when I say this – as a narcotic, as tobacco, as well as alcohol. And in the same way that if you happen to be a drug addict or you happen to be an alcoholic, that normally what keeps you on the road of the straight and narrow is that you don’t hang out with people who drink. You don’t go into bars. You don’t keep alcohol around your house. You make it so that it’s easy for you to not get yourself in trouble because it’s right there.

The same, I have to say, is true when it comes to credit cards. You have to, even though you don’t want to close down your credit cards because that will hurt your FICO score, that doesn’t mean that you can’t rip them up. Doesn’t mean that you can’t cut them up as soon as you’re out of credit card debt where you just don’t see them.

So my advice to people who were once in credit card debt and now they’ve gotten themselves out of credit card debt is I would literally cut up all of my credit cards. I would not be carrying them, I would not even have them in the refrigerator. Some people say they put them in the freezer; oh, give me a break. Anything can come out of a freezer. I would cut them up 100%.

And if in fact I knew that I might seriously be tempted to call the credit card company and say, you know what, send it to me again – I would not care about my FICO score and I would literally call up the credit card company, close down the account and not give me any temptation whatsoever to get myself into credit card trouble. As soon as I got offers in the mail, they would immediately go into the trash.

The key is keeping good company, and when it comes to your money, you usually are keeping good company with other people who aren’t in credit card debt, other people who don’t entice you to spend money, other people who don’t say, let’s go on this vacation, oh, just put it on your credit card debt; other people that say, oh, please, let’s just go out to dinner. Good company are people that, I understand that you have credit card debt and you don’t have the money. Let’s go to your house and I’ll bring food. We don’t need to go on a vacation, let’s just go for a walk on the beach.

Again, when you leave your house, leave your house without any credit cards. You can go to the mall, you can go window-shop, you can enjoy the mall just like everybody else, but do not take your credit cards with you whenever you go out. If you see something that you want and you don’t have the credit cards, fine, you can’t buy it. If you’re still thinking about it one month later, maybe you really wanted it; who knew. But that keeps people in check. So don’t leave your house with credit cards. Cut up your credit cards once they’re paid off. If you need to go further than that, close them down and who cares about your FICO score. And keep good company. That would be my advice.
Suze will present her 2009 financial plan as part of Oprah’s Best Life Week on Thursday, January 8^th.

Childcare Relationships and Bickering Parents Affect Kids' Stress Hormones

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 22:30:00 GMT

It seems self-evident that kids with poor childcare relationships or parents who frequently fight are more stressed than other kids. But now two new studies have established this common sense theory from a biological standpoint, by monitoring the levels of cortisol (the human stress hormone) in preschoolers and 6-year-olds. As parents across the country struggle to afford high quality childcare and to maintain a stable home environment, these studies are unfortunately quite applicable to these trying economic times.

In most people, cortisol levels decrease throughout the day. But for many children in full-time daycare, the stress hormone increases as the day progresses. Researchers found that class size clearly affected children’s moods, with preschoolers in classes of 10 or fewer children producing less cortisol than those in classrooms with closer to 20 other kids.

Children with poor relationships with their daycare providers became more stressed after one-on-one interactions with the teacher, while clingier kids had higher overall cortisol increases throughout the day.

Similarly, a study of 6-year-olds with bickering parents found that those who were very involved in and distressed about the fights produced more cortisol than other 6-year-olds. Since high levels of cortisol have been linked to health and psychological problems, this finding offers a biological understanding of why kids who get very upset by their parents’ arguments are more likely to have psychological problems later. (Whether higher levels of cortisol are a cause or an effect of psychological disorders is not clear.)

The study’s authors hope that understanding the biological basis of stress in young children will change the way kids in these common problematic situations are treated. For instance, monitoring kids’ levels of cortisol could help indicate whether a given intervention is working to relieve stress or not.

Day Care Enrollments Plummet as Families Struggle to Pay the Bills

Is Cutting Your Sitter's Pay the Best Way to Save Money?

Photo: pregnancy-depression-help.com

Another Reason Why Women May Not Always Have as Much Money as Men

Jen Chaney — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:33:00 GMT

We've heard 100 times that men typically earn higher salaries than women. But here's another reason why the guys -- generally speaking -- may have more cash than the ladies: It's all about their investing habits.

According to this Washington Post story, a recent study by Iowa State University found that in most relationships, the men take control of the couple's investments because women prefer not to. Other research also indicates that when they do manage their funds, women tend to invest more conservatively and not put their money into risky ventures that, if they pan out, could pay handsomely.

Of course, the qualities that lead women to exhibit such behavior -- a sense of self-control, careful analysis -- aren't necessarily bad things. But the alleged feminine aversion to learning more about investing in general, something I must admit I can relate to, is bigger cause for concern. Why are so many -- again, not all, but many -- women afraid to immerse their heads in the stock market?

I don't know the answer (I welcome you to discuss the possibilities in the comments), but I do have some good news: If you're married or in a relationship with a guy, the combination of male/female investing approaches makes for the ideal overall invester. That means that together, you can maximiize your collective money. Of course, the article doesn't say how these gender differences factor into gay relationships.

And then there's that other nutty reality: Not every woman or man fits neatly into the categories -- financial or otherwise -- that the studies, trends and stereotypes lay out for them. Which means, by the way, that it's totally possible to be a single woman who reaps the benefits of Wall Street even more effectively than any man.

Budget Baby: 10 Ways to Embrace Family Budgeting

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:01:00 GMT

Learning how much I spent on coffee-to-go earlier this year was a spiritual experience of sorts --- I saw God and knew I was going straight to Hell. Many of us avoid knowing the truth about our finances out of a well-placed fear that knowing amounts spent will require lifestyle changes or at least some "discussions" within the homestead.

Alas, unless you're lucky enough to not have to worry about money, finances must be faced sooner or later. Budgeting, if used properly, can be employed gently and simply enough that hardly any remonstrances or shaking in boots is required.

Here are 10 Ways to Embrace Family Budgeting:

1. Knowledge is Power - The first step in establishing a budget, is to track your expenses in major categories (dining out, groceries, gas, transportation, clothing, utilities, etc.). If you don't want to invest in Quicken or the like, just create a spreadsheet in Excel or use this basic budget worksheet.

2. Prioritize - If you spend more on dining out than on groceries and that's just fine, then keep it just as it is. If you'd like to lower your dining out expenses, set an achievable goal for the month following and see if you can hit the target. Obviously, your grocery expenses will go up (hopefully not correspondingly).

3. Treats vs. Luxuries - New shoes or clothes, lattes, fine wine, and fancy chocolates are all things that make life more enjoyable, but can also become too much of a good thing. If you simply cut back on the amount of money spent on these items they become more of a treat. Less is more.

4. Debt is for the Dogs - Most of us have one kind of debt or another. Credit cards, student loans, mortgages, car loans are all part of modern family life. Without a budget or any financial goals or guidelines it's easy to feel like there's no way out of debt so why bother. By setting a realistic target (paying an extra $100 per month toward credit card debt, for example), and tracking progress made, you'll feel motivated rather than demoralized.

5. Small Things for Big Things - Common family goals (vacation, savings for college, out of debt by 2020), helps make those daily sacrifices seem easier. Easier to give up unnecessary t-shirts or shoes or dinners out is less onerous when at the end of the month, all can see progress made.

6. Monthly Check-In - Creating a family budget does no good unless one is willing to check progress made against targets. Simply adjusting the budget amount to fit the dollars spent on a category won't do any good. Again, to do this, you'll need to create some kind of spreadsheet or tracking mechanism. Failing that, there are plenty of on-line tools available, such as this budget worksheet.

7. Set Realistic Goals - If you spend $1000 per month on groceries, don't set your budget at $500 for the next month. See, instead, if you can lower it to $800 by bringing more lunches to work or avoiding the deli for a few trips.

8. Lighten Up - Budgeting and finance woes really heat things up around the kitchen table. If you and your partner find yourself at cross-purposes during money-talks take a break and then start again. If you simply cannot talk about money without getting gridlocked it might be time to invite a financial planner to the table.

9. Earn It Spend It - If you're still living paycheck to paycheck it might be time to reassess your spending habits. Not in a critical hairshirt way but using the objective calm of a money scientist (hmmm do I really need another pair of shoes?). Your Money or Your Life is a wonderful book that talks about the unseen sacrifices we make when we spend all that we earn.

10. Money is Money, Not a Monster - It's easy to be intimidated by the thought that money, investing, and anything on a spreadsheet is complex and too difficult for our addled minds to grasp. But money is only money. It is only scary and powerful if we fail to whip it into shape and take it control.

More Budget Baby:

Cooking it Up Yourself

10 More Ways to Live Green for Less

5 Reasons We're Falling Behind Our Parents

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:01:00 GMT

Nan Mooney's book "Not Keeping Up with Our Parents" describes the decline of the professional middle class in America and points to a few key reasons our generation is faltering when it comes to money-matters.

Apparently, it has little to do with cutting out lattes:

1. Homeownership no longer means stability - We may own houses, big houses, but we own less of them as a % than prior generations.

2. The dual-income trap - Since wages have stagnated, it now usually requires two incomes to make ends meet. Add to that the high cost of childcare and the problem continues.

3. Shame of financial instability keeps people quiet and inactive - In a culture of "personal responsibility" people blame themselves and so don't hold government accountable in any way.

4. Student Debt - People carry student loans now for 20, 30, 40 years with no reprieve.

5. Consumer goods may be cheaper but they are the same % of our income as they were in the 70s.

Ms. Mooney's premise, that externalities might have more to do with the faltering middle-class than personal profligacy, is a kind of relief in a time when many of us are hunkered down, head in hands, wondering what the hell happened! For more on this topic, go here.

Strollerderby Playdate: The Inexpensive, Cheap Parent Edition

Madeline Holler — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 12:36:00 GMT

You know what? I'm cheap. I don't even use the term "frugal" because that's just a needlessly expensive word that sounds defensive. Not that cheap is my badge of honor, but I'm not trying to hide anything either.

Don't worry, I'm not so cheap that it's embarassing. I am not tempted to call supermarket sampling "lunch." But I am just cheap enough that my family will manage this coming recession without much drama. We won't have to adjust and cut back too much since we ride it pretty close to the line anyway.

Still, miserly-ness loves company, so I've invited some along to today's playdate (via Susan Flynn's article in the January L.A. Parent magazine). Whether you need some new ideas on how to cutback or save more. Or if you prefer the more salacious side of money matters (this article on how to tell if your financial partner is cheating. Yow!). Oh, most of these websites aren't terribly fancy -- naturally, they cut corners and didn't go the professional design route. So tacky! The savings!

Miserly Moms -- budget calculators, which are fun, and tips from readers (also recipes, but, well, yuck. We're more serious than casseroles, here.)

Dollar Stretcher -- the best since it's loaded with specific topics on budgeting, stuff for new moms and also easing into investing and lots of calculators -- retirement, city vs. country living, etc. -- links to forums and also a few blogs. All free!

If you've got a lot of different debt, there's the Debt Snowball method of paying it off. And, in any case, a calculator that's great fun to play with because it tells you how long you'll be paying off the debt and, after interest, what the total amount you'll have paid.

Warning: cheap people can get pretty holier-than-thou, so you'll have to ignore that if you think that might bug you. Just remember, people who write about it must be really into it. Anyway, they've got so little else going on (what with the price of ...)

Hef Says No to Brit: When Mama's a Centerfold Wannabe

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 13:27:00 GMT

I'm beginning to think maybe Britney's having some trouble with the follow-through. Her ideas -- a comeback, winning her kids...I mean, winning over the courts to get custody of her kids, fishnet stockings and flowing golden locks, rehab, speaking in the direction of any recording device -- aren't half bad. It's just that it never quite comes off right. Even, apparently those sequin bikini bottoms and a bid to say cheese for Playboy.

Cue the lights and half-assed shimmies and call in Brit and the Hef. He (or his people or whomever ties the sash on his silk robe and transcribes his mumbles into contractual emails to celebrity agents) offered the blog-darling mama $400,000 for her nakey pics, down from a cool $2 million offer made five years ago. Brit's people (I'm not even sure she has people left, so probably just that big bodyguard dude) countered with a seven-figure insistence and Playboy promptly said, "Ummmm...yeah, we're going to go ahead and pass on that."

Now for the PSA portion of the post: I am all about women feeling empowered in their bodies no matter what size they are, how many babies they've had (or are having) or what age they're claiming. I also think it is good and healthy to see what women look like for real and to see artistic expressions and interpretations of women's bodies. Hell, I've dabbled in a little of all of that myself in the back row of burlesque class. But what I'm really struggling with -- with my intellect and feminism and gut reaction all shimmying around in my head -- is the mamas who are in the middle of all this. And really, I don't care at all if someone's mother is smack dab in the middle of some booby magazine (even if I think they are tools of the misogynist devil -- the magazines, I mean) or is baring it all with only some combat boots and telephone cord as props in some radical feminist performance art piece.

What's bothering me is the mom who aspires to be smack dab in the middle of a booby mag. And can't. There's just something creepy about posing for a centerfold being a dream, especially an unrequited dream. Especially if the dreamer is worried that the photo shoot she might never have is going to conflict with Baby Cheese Puff's preschool trip to the pumpkin farm. Not only does it scream desperation, particularly given the last few years of Brit's bad choices, but also because we all know that dirty girl money would end up on K-Fed's debit card anyway.

Better Yet: A Bullet in my Head

Madeline Holler — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 23:04:00 GMT

Let me start by saying: I love my in-laws. Let me follow that by saying: I love them so much I wouldn’t even consider living next door to them. Which means I won’t be part of this new trend, or “trendlet,” as the experts in this article are calling an emerging pattern of extended families living within spitting distance of each other. On purpose.

How does this work? And how is it working? One clan made up of the parents their grown children and their young grandchildren lives on a compound in rural New Jersey, where each family has a private house. They use golf carts to go from one home to the other for visits. (They call first, right?) Two new parents in Philadelphia sold their small townhouse and rented an apartment across the courtyard from baby’s grandma. Now they enjoy -- the one silver lining on this dark, intrusive cloud -- free babysitting.

Of course, living across the continent from the in-laws, as I do, is just as extreme as playing house in their converted garage. So how close is too close? The next room? A day’s drive? Corsica?

Family Home-Buying Needs a Remodel: Mortgage Messes, Foreclosures and Second Jobs

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 15:01:00 GMT

We live in an apartment, a small vintage apartment tucked into a lovely, expensive neighborhood in Chicago. Our rent hasn't gone up in the seven years we've lived here and we have a compassionate landlord and wonderful neighbors. Despite this just-fine set-up, we want to expand our family, we need more space and we really want to buy a home. Sometimes, I curse the days when we were not yet married or parents and made nearly double the income we now earn. Instead of investing in a home back then, we invested in eating out, happy hours, vacations and dry-cleaning. It all seems so frivolous now, but it all seemed perfectly reasonable then. The thing is, if we had bought a home back then, there's a very good chance that all the life changes, wedding costs, medical bills, layoffs, following passions, family traumas, credit card pay-down and a child later, we wouldn't be able to afford it now anyway.

The what-if game is just that, game. But the reality of paying a mortgage while dealing with the stress and changes that your family goes through over the course of your life together is very serious business. Perhaps my husband and I are dreaming and planning at the right time, when foreclosures and mortgage messes are at the top of the news many nights a week. We're thoroughly scared and trying very hard to save enough and find the right place at the right time, all with an understanding that everything can change in an instant.

Some families are facing each month's mortgage payment with desperation and dread, feeling the effects of being in way over their heads in the house they call home (for now). Some people blame the banks, others the lack of reliable credit and home-buying counseling, still others blame the families for being wooed by McMansions or not saving for rainy days and lost jobs. Katherine Meyer at The Juggle's opened up the issue to a stream of both critical and compassionate comments in her post on the subject that highlights families forced to take second -- and even third -- jobs to keep their homes.

I have to think the McMansioning of America and the false sense of wealth perpetuated by credit card addiction are at play here, along with piles of other issues many families choose to keep locked away in the basement (or the fitness room or the three-car garage or the crawl space above the fifth floor). As hard as it is to be realistic and honest about what we make and where we live and what we can really afford, I have to believe it can only help us get our houses (or our mortgages-to-be) in order.

Does Your Kid Have Bad Credit?

Karen Murphy — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 19:55:00 GMT

Identity theft: if you've ever experienced this you know how devastating it is and what a huge pain it is to repair. But it's news to me that identity theft isn't limited to adults (because I live in a Happy Bubble); the identities of minors can be stolen as well. Imagine your kid turning 18 and finding out he's already thousands of dollars in debt! Except it wasn't your kid, it was someone else posing as your kid and using his social security number and name to rack up debts and bad credit.

Experts say the best way to avoid this is to (duh) avoid giving out your kid's social security number like it was candy. Except everybody and their brother asks for it nowadays: doctors, schools, etc. Do they really need that information? Be sure there's a valid reason before you give it out. Like you don't already know that. Also, receiving credit card bills in your kid's name is a sure tipoff that something's amiss. Except by then it's obviously too late and then you've got a fight and a lot of paperwork on your hands to fix it.

The Identity Theft Resource Center is working on legislation that would help protect the social security numbers of minors. It would provide credit bureaus with a list of social security numbers belonging to children under 18, which theoretically would be cross-checked against applications for credit. But I won't hold my breath.

Worst. Summer. Camp. Ever: Banking Camp!

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 18:16:00 GMT

I'm supposed to be packing for a weekend getaway, but the very idea of a summer camp designed to teach fiscal responsibility is just too good to pass up. What sort of moron sends their kid to summer banking camp?

I would so hate to be one of these kids.

The Scene: A schoolyard. Summer is over. Boys huddle in a circle.

"What you do at camp, Jimmy?" one asks.

"We rode horses!"

"How about you, Colin?"

"We went to a bank."

"Oh."

The circle disbanded, leaving Colin alone with the simple thought that while he could easily compute his personal debt, it would still be a very long year.

It should be noted that one kid opened an Ameritrade account as a third grader and now, as an eigth-grader, is sitting on $20,000 of his own doing. And I still think horses are more fun.

Parents say they just want to teach their kids about money management. Fine. Make them save enough money to go to real camp.

From the "Who Knew?" Department: Getting Life Insurance Before You Get Pregnant is Better

Karen Murphy — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 16:53:00 GMT

Before I had children, obtaining life insurance was one of the last things I thought of. After all, I wasn't yet a parent, right? So who did I have to support? Apparently, though, I went at the thing all back asswards, because according to this article, it's better to obtain coverage even before you get pregnant. Huh? No, really. And here's why:

1. Rates are lower when you're younger.

2. Potential medical problems during pregnancy, even relatively routine ones like gestational diabetes and high blood pressure can make rates zoom or even get you denied entirely from having coverage.

3. Having more undefinable issues like post-partum depression can really muck up your chances of being insured. If you have PPD, your insurance company considers you a suicide risk and jacks up your premiums accordingly.

Yeah, yeah, what a racket, huh? Just go get your insurance now. You can thank me later.

Family Finances: If You Have No Clue, You Aren't Alone

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 21:02:00 GMT

If you can't tell your 529 from your 420, you might need a little help making financial decisions for your family. Don't feel bad, not everyone has started college funds for their kids. Some of us haven't put anything in them for at least...for about...um, for a while now.

Hey! Stop freaking. I know you read the title of this post and you clenched up a bit. Relax. Maria Niles over at BlogHer is here to help. Maybe you're taking care of your parents as well as your kids. If you'd like to get a grip on your family's financial future Maria's post is a great place to start. Click her links, get educated, and, most importantly, stop stressing.

Strollerderby : finances

How Much Would It Cost You to Take a Career Break?

Your Kid's Identity Is at Risk

Stay At Home Moms Worth $122,000

Families Still Spending Big on Prom

Don't Ask If We're Trying to Have a Boy . . . or a Girl

Stay At Home Moms Worth $122,000

Out of the Mouths of Families

It's Not Swine Flu - Your Kid Has Whine Flu

Is it Cheaper to Bake It or Buy It?

Parents are People Too - They Date

We Hate Kids' Shows Too; Really

Half of Kids Surveyed Think Rihanna Had it Coming

Mamas Don't Let Your Kids Grow Up to Drink and Party

A Bargain A Day Guaranteed For Families

Does a Baby Fit Your Budget?

Georgia Family Has Everything They Own Up on eBay

Destroying Kids As We Know Them . . . Or Not

Adoptive Parents Report Paying Traffic Tickets as "Fees"

Girl Scouts Suffering From Economic Downturn Too

School Has Autistic Child Arrested

Suze Orman's Advice for Babble Readers!

Childcare Relationships and Bickering Parents Affect Kids' Stress Hormones

Another Reason Why Women May Not Always Have as Much Money as Men

Budget Baby: 10 Ways to Embrace Family Budgeting

5 Reasons We're Falling Behind Our Parents

Strollerderby Playdate: The Inexpensive, Cheap Parent Edition

Hef Says No to Brit: When Mama's a Centerfold Wannabe

Better Yet: A Bullet in my Head

Family Home-Buying Needs a Remodel: Mortgage Messes, Foreclosures and Second Jobs

Does Your Kid Have Bad Credit?

Worst. Summer. Camp. Ever: Banking Camp!

From the "Who Knew?" Department: Getting Life Insurance Before You Get Pregnant is Better

Family Finances: If You Have No Clue, You Aren't Alone