My name is Budweiser Bjorklund, what's yours?

Brett Singer — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Proving that celebrities don't have a lock on the practice of giving children names that will ensure a lifetime of ridicule, Swedish tax authorities are now allowing parents to name their kids, "after fast food chains, rock bands or their favorite brand of beer."

This had been illegal in Sweden, but Lars Tegenfeldt, clearly a genius, said, "there is nothing negative about a name like Coca-Cola or McDonald's today. In the 1970s, maybe it was."

Now, a law against naming children something idiotic seems extreme. On the other hand, what's the thought process involved in saying that there's "nothing negative about a name…like McDonald's"? Is that because they sell salads now, and offer apple slices with Happy Meals? One also wonders what prompted this ruling: a surge of parents demanding to name their children "Dr. Pepper"?

Somewhere, a Viking weeps.

Image: soindierock.blogspot.com
Source: MSNBC

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"Satan" and 9 Other Bad (but real) Baby Names

Cole Gamble — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:00:00 GMT

As we recently learned with the New Zealand court case liberating the poorly named Tallulah Does the Hula to Hawaii from her cumbersome moniker, celebrities are not the only ones to dole out crappy names to their kids. Here are some awful names bestowed by civilians like you and me. And yes, they’re all real names.

Superman

Not a bad name, if you want to get beat up every day. This New Zealand couple (Again New Zealand, keep up the good work!) originally wanted the name 4Real, but NZ officials didn’t go for it. So Superman it was, arguably a more ridiculous name. Sadly I doubt this was the first time someone’s name was chosen purely out of spite.

Sh*thead

If you ever question how free we truly are in America, look no further then two parents naming their daughter Sh*thead. Now a grown woman, Sh*thead tries to mitigate the damage by insisting it’s pronounced Shi-TAYd. Nice try.

Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon

Apparently daddy was a holy roller.

Al Caholic

Somebody thought they were funny. But really, when you have the last name “Caholic” to work with, who could resist?

Roxanne Gravel

Get it? “rocks and gravel.” Cleverness kills a kid’s school career once again.

Felanie

A pregnant woman liked the name Melanie, but also like the idea of a name that starts with “F.” Viola! Felanie. It’s funny how you can’t see something so obvious until it’s too late.

Governor Bush

Seems a little short sighted now, doesn’t it?

Doctor Love

For once a novelty name might actually help a kid get a leg up in the world. Let’s hope he develops a passion for fur jackets and yellow fedoras.

Sloth Washton

Often people name their pets by characteristics they first notice about the animals. We named our first cat “Romy” because she liked to rome around a lot. Yes, newborns are a bit sluggish, but maybe Sloth’s parents should have waited a little longer before settling on that name. And this brings us to…

Satan

Talk about prejudging your child. I’ll admit, this is what I call my toddler all the time, but it’s just a nickname. Maybe the Australia couple who went with this had their hand forced because Australia was all out of the other names.

Heard any worse ones????

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