Strollerderby : entertainment

Morning News - GOP Calls Sotomayor Racist

Brett Singer — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 13:00:00 GMT

The Republican/Conservative Hive Mind Coalition has decided how to attack Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor. What is it? Drum roll, please... She's a racist! This comment from Rush Limbaugh is... well, you decide: "Limbaugh called the president 'the greatest living example of a reverse racist,' and said that he has picked another for the Supreme Court vacancy of retiring Justice David Souter. Limbaugh later equated Sotomayor to former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke." David Duke? Huh? The comment Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich and Hive Mind members are clinging to is one that Sotomayor made at a Duke Law School symposium in 2001: "a wise Latina woman would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life."

I haven't read much about Judge Sotomayor, but I think the GOP Hive Mind is grasping at straws by clinging to one quote that she made. How difficult would it be to review cases that were before her while she served as a judge, and to talk about those? I've said plenty of things that I wouldn't want thrown back at me if I were up for an important post. (Supreme Court seems unlikely since I don't have a law degree, but maybe I could be the head of the Department of Video Games and Comic Books.) Also, as a white man who grew up in the Bronx and worked for two years at a job where there were many Latina women, I can honestly say that a great many of them reached better conclusions than I did. So there.

Speaking of the GOP, Mitt Romney seems to think he's still running for President. He's mad at President Obama for the way he's handling our foreign policy. (Grrr... Mitt is angry... Grrrr...) I love how it's OK for people to criticize the President when said President is a Democrat. Remember how we were all supposed to support President Bush because we were a nation at war? That attacking the Commander-in-Chief of the United States could be damaging to troop morale, and make us look bad in the eyes of foreign leaders? I guess that doesn't matter anymore.

One more political item -- Dick Cheney (aside: if my name were "Richard" I wouldn't use "Dick" as my nickname) admitted that there was "no link" between Saddam Hussein and the September 11th attacks. But he still thinks we did the right thing by marching into Iraq. He, too, took issue with President Obama's policies. I'm not 100% positive about this, but didn't various Bush administration officials and the Republican/Conservative Hive Mind spend a lot of time and energy telling the public that Saddam Hussein was, in fact, involved in the September 11th attacks? If so, what is Cheney saying now -- sorry, my bad?

On to less important matters. Susan Boyle checked into the hospital after losing "Britain's Got Talent." She is said to be "suffering from exhaustion," which I think officially makes her a real celebrity, since I have never heard of anyone other than a celebrity checking into a hospital because they were tired. (I know, that's reductionist, and an over-simplification, and probably other words that basically mean the same thing as those two. Bear with me, I'm exhausted.) The funny thing about Susan Boyle? She didn't "lose." She came in second. She was a complete unknown and now she's famous enough to check into a hospital for exhaustion without being laughed at. She will certainly have some sort of career in the entertainment business if she wants to. How is that "losing"? A year from now, let's see who has had a better career -- Susan Boyle or the dance troupe Diversity. My money's on Boyle.

OK, one more serious thing: a federal judge has ruled that "Guantanamo evidence must be made public." This is "the unclassified evidence that it says justifies the continued imprisonment of more than 100 Guantanamo Bay prisoners." So, you know. So there.

Here's a headline you don't like to see: "Federal Reserve puzzled by yield curve steepening." It's one thing if I'm puzzled by financial matters facing our nation. But the Federal Reserve? They shouldn't be puzzled. They should know stuff. Lots of stuff.

Finally, something silly and utterly unimportant. Kathy Griffin says that Eminem walking out of the MTV Movie Awards was "a stunt." What happened? Sasha Baron Cohen, aka Bruno, stuck his heinie in the rapper's face.

Here's what happened:

And here's what Kathy Griffin thinks of it:

See? Now you know everything you need to know to start your day. Enjoy!

Image: Latina.com

Dad Charges Daughter With Grand Theft Auto

Morning News - Mike Tyson's Daughter Injured

13 Year Old Alfie Definitely Not A Dad

Morning News - Susan Boyle Comes in Second

Brett Singer — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 13:00:00 GMT

So you know that Susan Boyle person? Scottish woman, has a really big singing voice, knocked people's socks off on "Britain's Got Talent", which is sort of like "American Idol" but with weirder acts, like a guy who dances like Michael Jackson while dressed as Darth Vader? (No, really. That's true.) Anyway, everyone thought Susan would win contest. (My money was on Darth Jackson. Which is why I don't gamble.) But she came in second. First place went to a dance troupe called "Diversity." Maybe in England hip-hop dancing is still hip. Or people just got bored with Susan Boyle. Or maybe it was something else. Anyway, she lost, but like Clay Aiken before her, I bet we'll hear from her at some point. Sometimes second place isn't so bad. (Ask Ruben Studdard. Although he does have a new album out, so maybe he'll stage a comeback. Wow, I think I don't care about this topic. Moving on.)

Well, I'm not moving on quite yet. Apparently Susan Boyle needed a team of psychistrists to get ready for the big TV finale. I have to admit that if her story is true -- never performed anywhere but her church, shot to worldwide fame in a matter of hours, on a TV show watched by millions -- then I can't blame her for being nervous. And maybe I'm wrong but to me, it's impressive that she got as far as she did. Not because she isn't talented. But she was completely unknown a few weeks ago. Now she's very very "known." Sounds like a victory to me.

Now on to science news. Everybody has a cell phone these days, and your plants want in on the fun. Yes. That's right. Your plants. The Discovery Channel has a story about a chip that would allow plants to "call" for water when they were, like, thirsty. "The farmer would just need their regular cell phone service, and the plant would send a text message when it needed water." Neat. Although I'm not sure why you can't just water the things on some sort of regular basis. Then again, I've never owned a plant that didn't die within a month. So maybe I'm not the right person to ask about this.

This headline form the Wall Street Journal is both completely sensational, but also accurate. Here you go: Lawmakers Bill Taxpayers For TVs, Cameras, Lexus. It's accurate. I hate reading stuff like this. Some of the item, like a digital camera, I can see as being needed for a lawmakers' job. But a Lexus? Times are tough, drive a crummier car.

Republicans, Let's Play Grown-Up
Sticking with the Journal, one of their columnists says that the GOP should "play grown-up" with regard to Sonia Sotomayor's nomination to the Supreme Court. Political commentator Ellis Henican says that if Republicans keep attacking Sotomayer, "they might well achieve a rare double fiasco for the Once-Grand Party - pursuing a doomed campaign against a highly qualified Supreme Court nominee and guaranteeing that Latinos will vote Democratic for the next 30 years." I guess we'll have to see how this one plays out.

Cuba's gonna talk to us! Wow!

A group of scientists in Houston, Texas are working on a cancer vaccine. I will now make the understatement of the year -- hey, that'd be cool.

Finally, "Up" ruled the box office this weekend by taking in almost $70 million. "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian" came in second place, and has already broken the $100 million mark. "Star Trek" broke $200 million. There were some other movies in the top ten that I don't care much about. A few words about "Up" and their box office total: the number is somewhat artificially inflated because of the $3 per ticket surcharge for 3D (or "RealD" as they call it these days). Not every theater is showing "Up" in 3D, but a lot are, and that makes the total dollar figure larger. It also means that in Manhattan it costs $55 to take two adults and two kids to see the movie. Which, for the record, I thought was really good. But I could do without the extra cost.

Image: Wikipedia

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Disney Pixar's UP - Quickie Movie Review

Brett Singer — Sat, 30 May 2009 23:51:00 GMT

I don't want to spoil anyone's fun, so I'm not going to get into too many details. Let me say that there's a lot more to the film than what you saw in the trailer. And if you, like me, are bummed out after the first few minutes, just wait. Trust me.

This is probably the best kid flick I've seen since I had children. It's also one of the better films I've seen in recent years. Admittedly, I don't get out to the movies much. But I doubt any of the Oscar-nominated films this past year were this much fun.

Seriously, "Up" has great action sequences, a good story, moments that tug at the heartstrings -- and by far the cleverest talking animals you will ever see. I don't mean that they say funny things, although they do. I mean that the usage of said animals is a million miles ahead of anything you've seen before.

I'm going to go a little over the top and say that I think "Up" will get a nomination for Best Picture and also Best Screenplay. Yes, it will probably be nominated for Best Animated Feature, and like every other Pixar movie, it wil win. But it's better than that, and I think it will be recognized as such. So you heard it here first -- "Up" for Best Picture.

I don't want to build it up (no pun intended) too much. But it's really good. Go see it and don't let your kids talk too much.

Image: Amazon

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13 Year Old Alfie Definitely Not A Dad

Baby Asleep On Dad's Head

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Babble Talk Radio Live - Friday May 29 - Listen Here

Brett Singer — Sat, 30 May 2009 16:15:00 GMT

Listen to this week's show right here!

Original post follows.

*-*-*-*

This week Famecrawler's Karl Erikson joins me for hilarity and hijinks on Babble Talk Radio.

Remember, we're live at 12:30PM EST on BlogTalkRadio. Just visit the show page to listen in. (NOTE: if you have any trouble with that link, try this one.) If you want to be on the air with us, call (347) 996-5362 while we're live, and then you'll be on live with us! You can also "call in" using your computer, and interact with us via the show chat room. (If you can't be there live, I'll post the archived show on this page later in the day.)

Topics include: writing about celebrities and their kids, and this wacko Baby Fashion Convention that Hannah told us about. And if you call in or join the chat room, you can suggest a topic for us. So tune in!

Babble Talk Radio with Madeline Holler

Hey Look! Mom Is On The Net!

SNL Mother's Day Skits

Classic Mother Songs For Mother's Day

Jon & Kate Plus 8 Premiere Snags 9.8 Million Viewers

Brett Singer — Wed, 27 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

So you know this Kate Gosselin we've been hearing so much about? Mother, reality show star, husband may or may not be cheating on her? Lots of backlash against her?

After all the sturm und drang that the Gosselins have generated in recent weeks, you might think that would hurt their ratings. But you would be wrong.

The season premiere of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" was watched by 9.8 million people. That's not only the largest audience for a cable show on Monday. It was the largest audience for ANY show that evening.

People, negativity sells. Big time.

Yes, it was Memorial Day. But "Jon & Kate" isn't even on a network. It's on cable. Which means that not everyone -- most people, but not everyone -- can see the show. To me, this was an astonishing feat.

I have a confession to make. I don't watch "Jon & Kate Plus 8." I don't watch any reality shows regularly, which isn't a judgment on those of you that do. It's just not my thing. (If they could make a reality show with superheroes in it, that I might watch.) But all of the tabloid news has been oddly fascinating to me. I read the People Magazine article. Someone left a copy of US Weekly in my house and I read the "Jon & Kate" article. (Well, I started it. But I'll finish it.) And I have to admit that I might just check out a few minutes of the show.

Did you watch the "JK8" premiere? Did the recent scandals surrounding the couple make you more interested in the show?

Source: Hartford Courant

Morning News - California Supreme Court Upholds Prop 8

Kate Gosselin - Mom or Monster?

Gosselins are Good for a Gander (big roundup of stories on Famecrawler)

Mom Arrested for Having 555 Pound Son

Morning News - Mike Tyson's Daughter Injured

8 "PG" Movies Way Too Scary for Kids

Cole Gamble — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

As you may know, I'm a big fan of traumatizing kids movies. So when I came upon Brian Hanson's article, The 8 PG-Rated Movies That Should Not Have Been Rated PG, I knew I'd need to post a bit of it. Here's a smackering of freaky-ass movies that somehow got the same rating as Shrek.

Gremlins (1984)

It's been widely acknowledged that both Gremlins and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Steven Spielberg's one-two 1984 punch of darkly comic blockbusters, directly led to the creation of the PG-13 rating. Gremlins is chock-full of wanton puppet terror and gore, with the titular hellions getting stabbed, beheaded, and exploded in wonderful blurts of green and brown. Of course, despite creating the PG-13 rating, neither Gremlins nor Temple of Doom were ever submitted for re-rating, so the PG rating still stands to this day for both movies. So Gremlins, with its graphic tale of Phoebe Cates' character's father decaying and rotting in a Santa suit after getting stuck inside the chimney on Christmas, gets the PG pass.

Wizards (1977)

Yay, a cartoon set off in a magical land! Sounds like Shrek again. Hold up, this baby's directed by Ralph Bashki, the guy who made edgy, X-rated cartoons like Fritz the Cat and Heavy Traffic (and the controversial Saturday morning update of Mighty Mouse). Wizards is a certifiable, goddamn mess, full of lame rotoscoped animation and tasteless invocation of Nazi imagery, but even for a PG-rated movie in 1977 it feels a little grotesque. There's a seemingly endless battle scene chock full of crudely-animated orcs and elves disemboweling each other, lots of cartoon characters saying naughty words, and a buxom nymph whose nipples seem incapable of being properly contained by her sheer clothing.

Watership Down (1978)

I touched on this in my own traumatizing kids movies article, but not enough can be said abut the movie in which cute fluffy bunnies rip the bloody hell out of each other.

It's pretty much a cartoon bunny horror film, as a small, ragtag group of rabbits are slowly done in by a variety of nasty enemies—owls, hunger, disease, bloodthirsty hounds, and even each other. There's another animated version that exists that would've saved me from the week's worth of nightmares and tears, but unfortunately it arrived nine years too late.

You can check out the rest of Brian's piece here.

More Good Stuff:

6 Reasons Why it Sucks to Be a Kid Today

Disturbing Baby-Swinging PSA

Dumb Kiddy Product Makeovers

9 Steps to Keep Your Kid from Ruining a Wedding

Eating Your Baby's Placenta

10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Children

Morning News - Saudis Can Slap Their Wives

Brett Singer — Mon, 11 May 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Let us begin with this sentence from CNN.com: "Husbands are allowed to slap their wives if they spend lavishly, a Saudi judge said recently during a seminar on domestic violence." The judge "also pointed out that women's indecent behavior and use of offensive words against their husbands were some of the reasons for domestic violence in the country," according to Arab News. Not that I agree, but I wasn't terribly surprised to read this, especially after the tale of the 8-year-old girl who had to try three times to get a divorce from a 47-year-old.

The Pope is in Israel. There's a joke there, but I don't know what it is. And if I did, I probably wouldn't make it anyway. Don't want to risk being struck by lightning or something.

Speaking of people who wear funny clothes (oops, sorry), the new Star Trek movie made over $75 million at the box office. Apparently this is the 11th "Trek" movie. Didn't realize that. I saw this latest installment (thanks to my wife who stayed with the children while I geeked it up at the movies) and thought it was great. Definitely things to complain about if you are so inclined, as in this hilarious video from The Onion News Network:

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

But it was a lot of fun. Not sure how it plays for someone who is unfamiliar with the ways of Kirk, Spock, McCoy and the rest. Interestingly, the film made less than "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", despite the fact that Hugh Jackman's Wolvie movie was (a) leaked online a month early, and (b) received far worse reviews than "Star Trek", which almost every critic seemed to love. You probably shouldn't take your kids to see either one, however.

I'll just quote this headline: "Lance Armstrong says Sheryl Crow's biological clock doomed their romance." Then Lance went and got his next girlfriend pregnant. Nice.

Have you been following the story of the preacher who got caught romping with a woman? He's been called "Father Oprah"; his real name is Father Albert Cutié. Here's a 2006 article from BeliefNet that starts out with the now hilarious question "As a celibate Catholic priest, you've probably been asked this before. How can you give advice to married people and people who want to get married?" His answer? "You don't have to be mentally ill to be a good psychiatrist. I don't think you have to be someone who has a real problem in order to relate to people's problems." In other words, you don't need to be having sex to discuss sex with people. Except that he WAS having sex. OOPS! Maybe he's not a psychiatrist, but is mentally ill? The latest news is that Father Cutié (heh heh, his name is cutie) is "in love." He's also been removed from his church, and a rally in support of him turned "violent." A lot of religious folks think that preists should just be able to get married. I don't have a strong opinion about that, but I do think lying about being celibate is kind of a crappy thing to do. Isn't one of the Ten Commandments "don't lie"?

If you'll excuse me, I have to step outside. Hm. That's funny, the sun was out just a moment ago. Where did those clouds come form? AHHH!!!!!!

Images: Lightning - Guy-Sports.com, Star Trek - Amazon

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Classic Mother Songs For Mother's Day

Poll - Portia and Ellen Most Trusted Moms

Mother's Day Music: The Least You Can Do

The Babble List: The Best Potty-Training Entertainment

editors — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:12:00 GMT

Today on Babble:

The Babble List: The Best Potty-Training Entertainment

by Paul Barman

Get your kids out of diapers with these 15 storybooks, videos and songs.

Read it here.

Morning News - Obama Loves Google

Brett Singer — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Hello and welcome to Morning News! We're giving Madeline a break, so I'll be your Morning Newser for today. Let's get right to it, shall we?

President Obama wants good advice about science and technology and stuff. After that sentence, I think we all know that he isn't picking me to sit on that panel. He did, however, ch-ch-choose Eric Schmidt, the CEO of some little startup called Google. I think they might have a web site or something. Not sure.

In sports news, Michael "Dogs? What dogs?" Vick is releasing a revised bankruptcy plan today. A judge rejected the plan his lawyers presented, which had Mike asking to keep "multiple houses, multiple cars, and a Ms. Pacman video game" according to ProFootballTalk.com. Vick was a talented athlete but a complete moron. He blew through most of his money and then went to jail for dogfighting, thus losing his lucrative NFL contract. He may come back and play again, but I doubt he'll get the same paycheck that he had before. Trivia moment: Vick's contract is still the highest any NFL player has ever signed. He never got all of the money, of course, but it was still a record contract.

The United Auto Workers may own 55% of Chrysler when all the wheeling (no pun intended) and dealing is done. Does that make them management? Can you stil be "labor" if you own the company?

This swine flu thing gets worse and worse. MSNBC is reporting that some folks in Mexico who had the virus were turned away by doctors. Nice. "Country faces criticism for seemingly slow, confused response to outbreak," according to MSNBC.com. How hard is it to treat sick people? OK, we don't always do such a good job of that in this country. Well, better than Mexico. I hope.

Speaking of swine flu, SuperEco has a list of ways to protect yourself... naturally. (You need to say "naturally" in a breathy voice to get the full effect of that sentence.) Tips include natural hand sanitizers and my personal favorite, "Limit personal interaction." So stay inside and don't talk to anyone. Works for me.

I think this article from the New York Times implies that hobbits might be real. Well, not exactly, but people the size of hobbits.

Tired of having so many DVDs around the house? G.E. may have found a way to put 100 of them on one disc using holographic storage.

Finally, this odd item: "A jet normally used as Air Force One rattled windows and workers Monday morning. President Obama, who was not aboard, was reported to be furious." See, when you fly a plane over New York City and you get too close, we have bad memories. Apparently it was meant to be a "photo opportunity." Guys, a little advice: next time, just buy a postcard.

Image: Wikipedia

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Tina Fey Sesame Street Episode On DVD

Brett Singer — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:30:00 GMT

It's a good thing Tina Fey seems so nice. Because otherwise people would have to hate her.

Consider: amazing career. Attractive. Insanely talented. Genuinely funny. And able to do an episode of Sesame Street with panache.

Of the few famous or semi-famous folks that I know, those who have appeared on Sesame Street list that as one of their top credentials. Even Gilbert Gottfried sounded excited about his episode, writing on his blog, "for the first time in my career, I can tell you how to get to Sesame Street!" The rest of the paragraph reads as follows: "You drive downtown during rush hour, go over the bridge, circle a few blocks without signs, park in an over priced garage and walk 11 blocks to the studio. Funny how they don’t mention that in the song." Hey, I wouldn't expect the guy to become warm and cuddly because of one encounter with Big Bird. (For many other great Sesame Street moments, including Robert DeNiro's brilliant impersonation of a cabbage, check out The Babble List: The 50 Best Sesame Street Moments.)

Tina played the leader of the Bookaneers, the pirates who love reading. Notwithstanding the fact that pirates aren't as much fun these days as they used to be, the episode was amusing and Tina (I imagine that she'd let me call her Tina, were we to meet someday) seemed to be very much into her role. It's no Sarah Palin impression, but it's still good. (Actually, Tina Fey doing her Sarah Palin impression on Sesame Street -- that I'd like to see.)

Sesame Street: Elmo and the Bookaneers will be released on DVD on April 21, 2009. List price is $14.93 but Amazon has it for $9.99. Such a deal! I haven't seen the DVD, just the segment with Tina Fey when it aired on regular TV. That's full disclosure, folks.

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Apple To Release iPhone For Kids

DVD Review - The Sportys

Brett Singer — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Baseball season has begun. For those of you looking to teach your kids some of the fundamentals of the game, you could do worse than to watch "The Sportys."

The set up is simple enough for even very young children to follow. A group of kids get together and decide that they want to play baseball. But they don't know how. So a talking ball named "Stitch" (voiced by "The Green Mile"'s Michael Clarke Duncan) shows up to teach them. Then they encounter a rival team who are, at first, much better than our heroes, who themselves tend to strike out while batting and to run into each other on the field. Spoiler alert: despite these overwhelming odds, they come back and win the game. It's completely unrealistic but my almost 4-year-old didn't care one bit. He was right there with it the whole time.

The best thing about "The Sportys" are the baseball tips they throw in. From a storytelling perspective, it's not exactly smooth, but as an instructional-type video aimed at youngish children, it works. Examples include:

- "If you're going to catch a fly ball, say 'I got it!'" (advice that even Big Leaguers forget from time to time.)
http://www.guzer.com/videos/baseball_crash.php

- "Lead off? What's that?" "That means you bat first."
- "If I get four balls, I get a walk, right?" (Something I figured out my first year in Little League. The pitching wasn't exactly great, and even though I didn't get a single hit, I was third on the team in walks. Ah, memories.)

There's even a song with the Obama-esque title "Yes We Can" to keep little ones engaged. It's not going to win a grammy, but it worked on my son, who spent the next three days "batting" with his tinker toys all over our apartment.

A nice bonus feature is the 30 minutes of instructional segments by New York Yankees hitting coach Kevin Long. Each lesson is simple to follow and refreshingly low-key, emphasizing "realistic goals" such as "I want my child to hit the ball today." (As opposed to "That kid better hit a home run or she's walking home!" That would be an unrealistic goal.) Fans of Evan Longoria can enjoy a poster of the 2008 Rookie of the Year, included with the disc. (Fans of Eva Longoria should watch "Desperate Housewives." Rim shot.)

Although the animation is nothing to write home about (the "visiting" team also appears to be made up of clones, since the animator didn't bother to create 9 new characters), and the overall story is ridiculous, young children with an interest in baseball should find plenty to enjoy while they – and their parents – learn a few things about how to play the game.

"The Sportys" DVD is $19.99 and can be ordered at TheSportys.com. A portion of DVD sales will be donated to the RBI Foundation.

Parents Get Eyebrows Waxed For Jonas Brothers Tickets

Brett Singer — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Note to self: if my son ever asks what I will do in order to get him tickets for a concert, the answer is "pay for them, if the price is not too unreasonable."

The correct answer is NOT "have my eyebrows waxed."

Watch this. Not entirely safe for work, since it features EYEBROW WAXING. (Unless you work at a salon, in which case you probably see stuff like this all the time. Except people are paying for the service and they don't expect to get Jonas Brothers tickets.)

The event/stunt/proof of the coming apocalypse was set up by a DJ on radio station Y100 in Miami.

The scarier thing is that this isn't the first time parents have done stupid stuff to get Jonas Brothers tickets for their kids. I guess the shows sell out so getting in requires extraordinary measures.

To all parents who are considering doing something extreme because your kids really really really want to see the Jonas Brothers (or any other concert for that matter) I have a suggestion. Tell them no.

Source: TMZ

Image: Amazon

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Abortion Ads On Television?

Babble Talk: When the Kids Take Charge

Husband Loses Job, Wife Loses Respect For Him

Open Letter To The Woman Who Pushed Me While I Was Picking Up My Kid

Another Hospital Baby Mix-Up, Now With Added Racism!

Howard Stern To Release CD Of Kiddie Songs

Brett Singer — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:30:00 GMT

Howard Stern wants to sing to your children.

So, like, hey now.

The King of All Media has had a number one movie, two best-selling books, a top-rated television show and is the greatest radio performer of all time. But he has never had a hit record.

Before you say, "Oh come on, why would a guy with that much money care about something like that?" you should know that Stern, who is currently heard on SiriusXM Satellite Radio, frequently complains that even Rick Dees had a number one song with "Disco Duck:"

Howard had a song on the Private Parts soundtrack (The Great American Nightmare with Rob Zombie) but it didn't do as well as Stern's other efforts.

So to rectify the situation, Howard has decided to make a CD of music for kids. Yes. It's true. The man who made his name proclaiming his love for lesbians, strippers and his own bodily functions wants to sing to your kids.

It's not as crazy as it sounds. First of all, as 'Monsters Vs. Aliens' showed us, it doesn't really matter if kiddie entertainment is any good. Market it correctly and it will sell. Second, many of Stern's fans (myself included) are now parents. Third, despite what people think, he's a clever guy. No tracks have been announced, but I doubt he'll put out something with language that will offend anyone. If Howard does something he goes all in, so don't expect a "trick" CD that lures you into buying something inappropriate for your kids. (On-air cohorts Richard and Sal might do that, but they're not involved this time. I hope.)

Last, but certainly not least, say "baba booey" to your kids. I'll bet you anything they laugh.

Look for the CD this fall. I know I will. I mean, could it be any worse than Kidz Bop?

Source

Read more:

Gloria Allred Sits On A Booster Seat

TV Is Neither Good Nor Bad For Babies

It's Monsters Vs Aliens on DWTS

Sasha's Not-So-Green Lunches

Steve Martin Funds Banned High School Production of his Play

Brett Singer — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 03:40:00 GMT

I always liked Steve Martin. One of my first R-rated movies was "The Jerk," and I listened to his comedy albums "Comedy Is Not Pretty" and "A Wild and Crazy Guy" over and over again. (Two words - cat juggling.)

More recently, Steve (he lets me call him Steve - well, we've never met, but I think he'd let me call him Steve. Maybe.) has written a few plays, including "Picasso at the Lapin Agile", which ran Off-Broadway for awhile and has since had many productions around the world. Students at LaGrande High School in Oregon were rehearsing the play when 137 people signed a petition protesting the show. In a bold move, the school stopped the rehearsals.

So Steve (for now, I'll just call him Steve, OK?) offered to pay for a production off campus, far from the reach of the long arm of the educational law.

What was the perceived problem with the show? It features "people drinking in bars, and treating women as sex objects." Now, far be it from me to tell a local high school what they should and should not allow on their stages. But any Shakespearean tragedy features murder. Does that mean it can't be performed? How about the perennial high school musical favorite "The Pajama Game"? Unions. And we all know that "union" is code for "communism."

Steve wrote a letter to the local paper defending his work.

"Because of the controversy, I recently reread the play, and, frankly, I could understand how some parents might object to certain lines if they were to be delivered by a 16- or 17-year-old. Yet I do believe that the spirit of the play and its endorsement of the arts and sciences are appropriate for young eyes and minds.
"So while the question of whether students should perform the play at their high school remains something to be determined by the community, I firmly believe that seeing the play will bring no harm to them and might well uplift them — and acting in the play, if they are permitted by their parents, would also bring them no harm, and may help them to understand the potency, power and beauty of the arts and sciences."

The fact that he decided to go the extra mile and go all "Hamlet 2" and rent a theater off campus is kind of amazing. On the one hand, why should he care? On the other hand, if he believes in freedom of expression, why not put his money where his mouth is?

I bet the students are pretty excited. I know I would be.

Source: The Onion AV Club

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New Rick Springfield CD For Kids

Brett Singer — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 02:33:00 GMT

Rick Springfield just released a new CD. But this time it's for your kids.

The guy who wondered why he couldn't find a woman as great as the one Jesse had eventually settled down and had two kids of his own. Turns out they weren't great sleepers. So Rick, being a songwriter, wrote them some lullabies. When he recently found the songs "stuck in the back of a drawer," he found that he liked them and decided to put them out for the world to hear.

In an interview, Rick (he lets me call him Rick) referred to the tunes as "baby pop songs." That's a good description, but they also feel deeply personal. Listening to the CD feels a little bit like eavesdropping. These are actually songs he wrote for his children, and by his own admission, they aren't as polished as some of his other work. That doesn't mean unprofessional; the sound and production values are fine. But since the songs weren't initially written for everyone to hear, they have an appealingly private quality.

Put simply, don't expect "Jesse's Girl" or "Love Somebody." These are lullabies, meant to help kids fall asleep. As such, they're calm, pleasant, and enjoyable to listen to. Unlike an artist who switches from his "real" music to kid stuff, this is an adult musician who also happened to write some kid-friendly songs years ago, and only just decided to release them. As a father, it's hard not to get a little misty-eyed listening to the disc. There's a lot of genuine emotion in the music and the lyrics. Like "I love to watch you sleep / In the quiet of the night" from the title track -- what parent doesn't understand that? It may not be deeply profound, but so what? For grown-up Rick fans (and there are many, as I found out when I interviewed him and my mother, wife, and babysitter all suddenly expressed a keen interest in my work), "My Precious Little One" is certainly different from what you're used to. Check out some preview tracks at RickSpringfield.com and see for yourself. This might be the only time when a musician won't be offended if you tell him you fell asleep listening to his songs.

"My Precious Little One" is now available at Amazon.com exclusively for eight weeks; after that it will be available at retail outlets everywhere.

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Letting Kids See Watchmen

Brett Singer — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Lisa Belkin wonders if her 15-year old should see "Watchmen," this weekend's number one movie. His 18-year old brother saw it and pronounced it brilliant. I won't keep you in suspense (I know, you were on the edge of your seat), but Lisa eventually capitulated and let the younger son go. Spoiler: he liked it.

Having seen the film, I can say that it is definitely not for kids. The R rating should deter parents, but really it's the subject matter that they should be looking at. For the record, I enjoyed the film version of "Watchmen"; it's very faithful to the original comics (aka "graphic novel"), has some flaws, but overall is very much worth seeing. This column at The Onion AV Club by Tasha Robinson does a great job of breaking down the differences between the two, points out some missteps, and is good reading if you're interested.

For our purposes, the question is "how do I decide whether or not a movie is appropriate for my child?" Movie ratings help, but only up to a point. A commenter at the Times' website points out that "Dark Knight" was rated PG-13, which in my opinion is absurd. Great film, one of the best I've seen, and Heath Ledger's performance was incredible and deserving of an Oscar. Part of what makes his Joker so amazing is that he is really, truly disturbing, more so than the bone-popping-out-of-an-arm style of violence on display in "Watchmen." To me, and I believe to my kids, psychological violence is more troubling than physical violence. Not that I want them to see the extreme grossness that "Watchmen" has. But a movie's rating doesn't always tell the whole story.

What I do with superhero movies is see them first. I know. I make the ultimate sacrifice, go on opening weekend with a bunch of guys wearing Captain America t-shirts, and decide whether or not the flick is kid-friendly enough. "Iron Man" was, although the opening sequence is questionable. "Hulk" was borderline, but my then 7-year-old didn't want to see that one anyway. (Although he does love my blog post written from Hulk's point of view.) I thought "Spider-Man 3" would be too scary for him (Venom), but he was unfazed; actually, I think he was a little bored (the bizarre musical number).

What makes this part of my parenting job easier is that I actually want to see superhero movies. Belkin, not so much: when asked by a commenter why she didn't just see "Watchmen" first if she was so concerned, she replied: "You are right, I should have seen it if I felt so strongly about helping to give context to the message, but, frankly, I couldnt [sic] stand the thought of sitting through it." At two and a half hours, I can't really blame her. But if she had seen it, she would have found out that along with the cartoonishly graphic violence (not a lot, but what's there includes someone having their hands cut off with a power saw) is a very violent rape scene, a moment is that is much more graphic than the one in the original comic. Do I think most fifteen year olds have seen something like that in a movie already? Probably. Does that mean I want them to see that without me telling them what's wrong with that behavior? Probably not. For me, seeing a film is the best way to determine whether or not you want your child to see it, no matter what age they are. Fifteen may be too old to be concerned about what sort of entertainment your kids consume. But even if you don't censor it, it's probably a good idea to know what they watch.

Source: NY Times

Image: AVClub.com

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RENT Too Risqué For Some Schools

Brett Singer — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 18:30:00 GMT

"Milk" may have won two Oscars (Sean Penn for Best Actor, Dustin Lance Black for Best Original Screenplay) but homosexuality is still a taboo topic at many U.S. schools. Case in point: "RENT: School Edition", a toned down version of the hit Broadway musical that closed last September. Three productions have been canceled due to "objections about the show’s morality, its portrayals of homosexuality and theft, and its frank discussions of drug use and H.I.V." In other words, gay people still make folks uncomfortable.

Growing up in New York City and attending the High School of Performing Arts, my view of the world was a bit skewed. It's easy to forget how intolerant some parts of the country can be. What, pray tell, is everyone so afraid of?

Then there is the question of artistic merit. Do these people really want to sit through an amateur production of "High School Musical" at their local high school? The real thing is unbearable. Imagine "Getcha Head In The Game" sung by squeaky voiced adolescents who are just entering puberty. At least "RENT" has some terrific music. And they already toned down the naughty bits! C'mon folks. It's a new age. Give "RENT" a chance.

Source: NY Times

Image: Amazon

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Heath Ledger's Daughter Gets His Oscar

Brett Singer — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 03:50:00 GMT

Heath Ledger won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for playing The Joker in 'The Dark Knight.' It's well-deserved, and personally I think he would have won even without the sentimental vote.

Heath's family – his father Kim, mother Sally and sister Kate -- accepted on his behalf and all three gave an amazingly calm and classy speech, pointing out that his daughter Matilda is the one who will get the golden statuette: "We really wish you were here, but we proudly accept this award on behalf of your beautiful Matilda." Michelle Williams will keep it for her until Matilda turns 18. If Heath and Michelle had been married, it would have gone to her. Executive Director of the Academy Bruce Davis said, "I don't think we have ever had a situation like this."

It's all very sad, but Heath's mother said, "Tonight, we are choosing to celebrate and be happy for what he has achieved," so I'm going to go with that. Congratulations, dude.

image: Reuters

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Video and Pics: Lego Inauguration

Brett Singer — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 12:00:00 GMT

This is cute.

Legoland California (the Lego theme park) has created a full Lego version of the Inauguration Ceremonies, complete with Lego versions of various folks, including outgoing President George W. Bush and his wife Laura, the Cheneys, and of course, Barack and Michelle Obama.

Here's a video featuring spectator reactions and a British reporter using the word "loo":

And SFWeekly.com has a nice slideshow of images, including this one, which depicts the swearing-in ceremony:

And the lines for "The dreaded inauguration Porta Potties." (All Porta Potties fall into the "dreaded" category as far as I'm concerned.)

One more: Lego Aretha Franklin, who appears to have a large, um, Lego chest:

As the blog Feministe puts it -- "All hail the Lego-in-Chief!"

You can get information about the real-life Inauguration here.

Source: LA Times, Feministe, SFWeekly

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UPDATE: Time Warner and Viacom Reach Agreement, SpongeBob Saved

Brett Singer — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 03:52:00 GMT

The war has ended, and we are all winners -- the kids can watch Dora, the grown-ups can watch Colbert. Technically, the kids can also watch Colbert, and the grown-ups can even watch Dora.

Viacom and Time Warner have reached an agreement, terms to be fleshed out later, that will keep the various channels on the air for Time Warner Cable subscribers, according to the New York Times. Perhaps they took Dora's advice to "stop and think" for a minute.

One interesting idea did come from this, however, via the comments below: pay-per-minute television. I like it. They'll never DO it, but I like it. It would probably greatly reduce TV viewing in most households. "Hey kids, there's a Spider-Man marathon on! 65 episodes in a row!" (That was this morning, actually.) If you add, "It'll only cost us a dollar a minute!" I might just pick up a book, y'know?

Anyway, for now, everyone can keep watching their favorite shows. And thank goodness -- isn't there a new "Hills" spinoff? (Note: if there is, I don't know what it's called because I don't watch that show. But somebody must.)

Original post follows below:

*-*-*-*

If you get your TV service from Time Warner Cable and your kids love them some SpongeBob and Dora The Explorer, you might want to stock up on DVDs.

Viacom wants an increase in the fee Time Warner pays to carry their channels, and Time Warner doesn't want to pay it. The deadline is midnight tonight. What channels are those? A partial list: Nickelodeon, MTV, VH-1, Comedy Central. So no Diego for the kiddies, and no Daily Show and Colbert Report for you. (Or for your kids, if they enjoy a humorous take on current events.)

Unsurprisingly, both sides think they are right. In a press release, Viacom says the following: " Ultimately…if Nickelodeon, COMEDY CENTRAL, MTV and the rest of our programming is discontinued - over less than a penny per day – we believe viewers will see this behavior by their cable company as outrageous." The fee increase Viacom is asking for is "about 25 cents a month, or $3 a year, per subscriber for its package of channels," according to the LA Times. Time Warner says its about Viacom trying to make up for decreased ad revenue: the LA Times quotes Time Warner Cable spokesman Alex Dudley as saying, "Advertising revenue stinks so they are looking to stick our customers for the difference. We have to hold the line for our customers. They are holding our customers hostage for a bunch of networks with sagging ratings and only one or two good channels."

Personally, I've felt for years that it should be possible to pick and choose which channels you actually want to receive. For example, Comedy Central, sure. But no one in my house watches Nickelodeon, so that one can go. Of course, that's not how it works. Oh well.

The thing is, while both sides may or may not have valid points in this matter, customers don't really care. It's not like Time Warner will offer refunds if they drop the Viacom channels from their lineup (although I suppose they might if it lasts long enough). But I think it you ask cable customers, the vast majority would say that they pay too much for their service. Take away channels that they actually want to watch, and that makes it even worse. It's two rich companies fighting with each other over more money, and while they fight, I don’t get to watch "The Hills." (Note: I don't actually watch "The Hills." That's just an example.)

Anyway, midnight tonight. If Viacom and Time Warner can't come to an agreement by then, bye-bye Dora and Jon Stewart. Let's see what happens.

Source: LATimes

Disney Bails on Narnia

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Disney Bails on Narnia

Brett Singer — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

You won't be hearing the Chronic-WHAT?-cles of Narnia at the Mouse House any more.

The Hollywood Reporter is reporting (clunky sentence, sorry) that Disney has decided not to pick up the option to get involved with "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader", the third film in the series. The reasons are "budgetary and logistical", which sounds to me like code for, "the other films didn't make enough money and producing them was annoying, so why should do it again?" "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe", the first film in the series, grossed $745 million worldwide, whereas "Prince Caspian" took in "just $419 million," according to the Reporter. That still sounds like a lot of cabbage to me, but it's a big drop-off, and may not be enough to make risking more cash on a third film worthwhile.

Although I enjoyed the books when I was younger, and my son is starting to read them now, we haven't seen either movie yet. They didn't have that "must-see" effect on my kids that the Harry Potter films or "Iron Man" had. In fact, my son has expressed more interest in seeing a DVD-only release, "The Next Avengers", then he has in "Lion" or "Caspian."

Interestingly, "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" was scheduled for a May 2010 release, so talent was attached, plans were made, people had eaten a cheesecake and taken a nap, etc. (Random reference for you on Christmas Eve – don't say I never gave you anything.) Walden Media, which owns the rights to the C.S. Lewis stories, will shop around to try and find another partner for "Treader", but these flicks don't come cheap -- $180 million for "Lion", $200 million for "Caspian". With shrinking profits and a crummy economy, it will be interesting to see if another studio jumps in for "Treader."

Source: Hollywood Reporter via Reuters

Image: Amazon

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Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Brett Singer — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:30:00 GMT

I'm going to backtrack now on something I said earlier. I was bemoaning (OK, fine, I was whining) that Disney, who now own the Muppets, were going to ruin what I feel are great characters, thereby destroying the possibility that future generations will derive pleasure from Kermit and Company.

Are you sitting down?

I may have been wrong.

Various Muppets appeared on The Today Show this morning to promote their new holiday special, 'A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa' (airing on NBC tonight at 8pm EST; Newsday gives it an A). (No, I don't mean to imply that Tom Cruise, who also was on this morning, is a Muppet. Although that would explain a lot.) The best part, in my opinion, was Miss Piggy, who as far as I know is still being played by the great Frank Oz.

It's not even that what she said was so hysterically funny. But the way that the hosts just sit and chat with her as if she were something other than felt never gets old to me.

Anyway, here are two clips from Miss Piggy's recent appearance, plus one from earlier this year where the Muppets took over the show and Miss Piggy tied up 'Law & Order' star Christopher Meloni with crime scene tape. Good times, good times.

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout

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Miss Piggy on Today Show

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Older: Muppets Take Over Today Show

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Muppets Take Over the Today Show and Miss Piggy Ties Up Christopher Meloni

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Hopefully these frequent Muppet appearances will get my kids interested in the characters once they outgrow Sesame Street. I grew up loving The Muppet Show, and enjoyed the same shows on DVD with my first son. (The second one doesn't seem interested yet.) With such a multitude of viewing choices out there, reminding us about the Muppets can't be a bad thing.

So there you go! I may have been wrong about Disney and their treatment of the Muppet property. Happy holidays, everyone.

(NOTE: Thank you to the commenter below who points out that the embeds of these videos aren't working. Go to MSNBC.com to find them.)

Source: MSNBC

Image: NYTimes

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Movie Review – "Delgo"

Brett Singer — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 21:45:00 GMT

It has been said that if you're going to steal, steal from the best. The new film "Delgo" (now in theaters) certainly does that, but they seem to have swiped more than they could carry.

This new CGI animated feature has elements of "Star Wars", "Dune", "Lord of the Rings" and even "Shrek", the latter only in terms of the animation. There are the usual cheap attempts at kiddie humor – characters running into walls suddenly, things falling down, yelling – but that alone wouldn't be enough to make this flick worth skipping. (In fact, that's probably the only part of the film most children will enjoy, other than a couple of halfway-decent action sequences that occur much too late to save the movie.) What truly makes me say that this is not a film for children, despite the fact that it is clearly meant for a family audience, is the confusing story and oddly graphic violence. It does have genuinely beautiful character and scene design, and although the animation isn't the best you've seen, it's far from the worst. But following the plot requires effort that just isn't worth it.

Let me try to summarize the story. There are two races in the land of Jhamora, the Lockni and the Nohrin. The Nohrin have wings, the Lockni don't, but they can make stones levitate. The two races/tribes/whatever have an uneasy truce, which was reached after a Nohrin invasion of a Lockni village, when our hero Delgo's (Freddie Prinze Jr.) parents were killed. Delgo soon meets the Nohrin Princess Kyla (Jennifer Love Hewitt), whose mother was killed by a fellow Nohrin named Sedessa (Anne Bancroft, in her final screen appearance) when Kyla was just a baby. Sedessa was exiled and her wings were chopped off. Delgo seems conflicted about his feelings for the Nohrin, and it affects his ability to make rocks move with his mind. Elder Marley (Michael Clarke Duncan) tries to teach him how to move rocks better by offering subpar Yoda-esque lines like, "Connect with the stone, Delgo…feel its pulse," and "The stones are a path to a higher good… they will teach you about yourself." (It doesn't exactly have the resonance of "Do or do not. There is no try.") Meanwhile, Sedessa has been plotting her revenge from an aerie in the sky somewhere. She has a closet filled with dozens of fake wings that makes her seem like an alien Imelda Marcos (remember her? The shoes?). Sedessa is in control of a race of creatures that look like Tolkein's Goblins whom she uses as muscle, as well as another group of smaller creatures whose sole purpose seems to be to screw things up when they are needed. (Their leader, if you can call him that, is Spig, voiced by Eric Idle, who speaks in bad malapropisms like Shakespeare's Dogberry. Unlike Dogberry, he's almost never funny.) Sedessa has help on the inside from Raius (Malcolm McDowell), a Nohrin soldier who wants to be general, which he becomes after framing the current general, Bogardus (Val Kilmer), who appears to be a compulsive gambler. Through various manipulations, war breaks out between the Nohrin and the Lockni, then Sedessa leads her Goblins-that-aren't-Goblins into battle while the two races are fighting. But the winged and the ground-bound fight together and save the day.

Got it? If so, can you explain it to me? The elevator pitch could go something like this: "It's like 'Lord of the Rings' meets 'Romeo and Juliet' meets 'Star Wars' meets 'The Lion King', which itself was cribbed liberally from 'Hamlet', so throw that in too." If this film were any more derivative, it could be traded on the Nasdaq. "Delgo" isn't complex the way well-crafted stories are; it's more bloated and obtuse. This could be due to too many writers; six are credited, and many more receive credit at the end, including Jeff "The Dude" Dowd – yes, the guy "The Big Lebowski" character was based on – as a "script consultant", but that may be fake. It's not clear. Jokes are thrown in here and there, Delgo's character becomes a warrior of sorts without any particular explanation, Bogardus uses the term "vig" when talking to a creature who may or may not be his bookie – storytelling at its finest, this is not.

By far the best thing about "Delgo" is the designs that the animation is based on. Most of the reviews have slammed the CGI, but by now I’m used to it, and the many years that were apparently spent on post-production paid off somewhat. There are a few beautifully drawn backgrounds, some cool-looking creatures (like the flying warship-things that the faux Goblins ride) and these nifty walking plants. The drawings that appear over the end credits (which feature a litany of bizarre jobs such as "Alchemist of Pseudo-Reality" that must be inside jokes) have more life in them than their animated brethren, which isn't a good thing. Maybe someone could re-release "Delgo" as a series of picture books, perhaps emphasizing the undeniably good message respecting different races and the dangers of war, which is definitely present in the film but gets lost amidst all the clutter.

The main reason I need to tell parents to be cautious about "Delgo" is the violence. I'm not anti-violence at all, but some things here seem unnecessarily graphic, like a character who gets run-through with a sword, and another who gets shot in the back with an arrow. There's not much blood, but the suddenness of the deaths could be upsetting to younger children. Also potentially disturbing for little ones is a flashback scene when Nohrin warriors kill Delgo's parents while he hides in the closet of their Lockni hut. (Let me be clear – a child is playing with his dad at home, and scary people break in and kill his mother and father while he watches.) Then a Nohrin soldier sees him, pokes his head into the closet and says, "You're on your own, kid." Of course, there's a very good chance that any human children in the audience will have fallen asleep by the time these events occur, and even if they don't there's virtually no chance they will have become involved in the characters because the script simply doesn't allow them to do so. Many other films targeted at children are violent and/or dark, like the last couple of "Harry Potter" movies. But at least the story backing them up has some depth. Also worth mentioning is the fact that the outfits some of the characters wear are oddly tight-fitting and, especially in the case of Bancroft's Sedessa, weirdly well endowed. (Think wasp-waist, C-cup.) That's not a bad thing, I suppose. But it seems like an odd choice.

As for the cast, it's "all-star" but not exactly A-list. Where "Kung Fu Panda" had Angelina Jolie and Dustin Hoffman, "Delgo" has Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. Other folks picking up a paycheck include Burt Reynolds, Louis Gossett Jr., Kelly Ripa, and Chris Kattan (who I almost feel sorry for, since even when animated he gets cast as a nitwit; then I remember that at least he's working and any sympathy goes out the window). They all give fairly generic and uninspired line readings except for Malcolm McDowell, who does a decent enough villain, and the late Anne Bancroft, who uses her considerable talents to create an actual character with her voice. This is Ms. Bancroft's final film to be released in theaters; remember that she died in 2005, which should give you an idea of how long the newly created Fathom Studios has been working on this thing. Saying "an actress of her talent deserves a better screen farewell" is a cliché, even if it is true. Still, she does more with the material than her younger cast members, and at least she went out playing a much younger character. Sometimes in Hollywood, actors have to take what they can get. Family moviegoers, though, should probably exercise freedom of choice and stay home.

"Delgo" is now in theaters. The trailer, which makes the film look less weird than it is, is below.

Image: Amazon.com

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Suri Cruise: Most Powerful Child On The Planet

Brett Singer — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 18:10:00 GMT

This is such an odd piece of news.

Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom "Who Needs Doctors When You Can Take Vitamins" Cruise and Katie "Is She Being Held Prisoner" Holmes has been declared "most influential celebrity kid". Now what is the source of this important ranking? Us Magazine perhaps? The National Enquirer?

No. Forbes magazine. Malcolm must be spinning in his grave.

What method did they use? According to MyHollywood.com, "financial investigators studied Internet presence and press clippings for more than 50 A-list offspring aged five years younger over the course of the last year…used a market research company to gauge the awareness of the kids and consumer-appeal of their celebrity parents." Suri won, with appearances in "more than 2,000 articles over the course of the year."

Here's the top ten if you're curious:

1. Suri Cruise
2. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
3. Zahara Jolie-Pitt
4. Pax Jolie-Pitt
5. Sam Alexis Woods
6. Cruz Beckham
7. Matilda Rose Ledger
8. David Banda
9. Sean Preston Federline
10. Sam Sheen

By the way, I had to look up Sam Sheen (that's the offspring of Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen). So I feel slightly better about myself.

I have a thought. Why would a celebrity parent want their child to get this much exposure? Is it at all possible to keep kids out of the papers when you're this famous? In the case of a Suri Cruise or any of the Jolie-Pitts, wouldn't it be safer to lay low a little bit? Or does it matter in the age of social networking, photo sharing, and MyFaceSpaceBook?

Plus, this idea of "influential" seems questionable. Would you buy something because Suri Cruise endorsed it?

She is a cute little girl though. Maybe she could do Gap ads or something.

Last thought: How would you handle this sort of thing if you were mega-famous? I'm not sure what I would do, although it's not likely to be a problem in my life. My movie career began and ended when I auditioned for "Adventures in Babysitting" in the 80's.

Source/Images: MyHollywood, Famecrawler

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WALL-E: Do you really need 3 DVDs?

editors — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:05:00 GMT

I'm way into Pixar bonus features. I've spent an embarrassing number of hours reading those fake-superhero bios on Disc 2 of The Incredibles and watching the fish in the Finding Nemo aquarium swim by. However, I'm also really skeptical about this super-all-inclusive DVD trend, which too often involves paying a lot of money for fancy packaging and none-too-illuminating special features. It's like paying $20 extra for a fancy steak so the chef will throw in some potato chips. Given this attitude, I was a little conflicted when I found out that Pixar's WALL-E would be released tomorrow as a deluxe-edition 3 DVD set. What could possibly fill 3 DVDs? I decided to find out. Below, a breakdown of every single special feature on the WALL-E DVD, and a verdict on whether you should put it on your Christmas list. -- Gwynne Watkins

DISC 1
- Why do all these Disney DVDs start with 800 previews? My finger is getting tired from hitting "skip."

- Okay, first up, we have that funny little short about the magician and the rabbit that we saw in theaters.

- And here's a new short, BURN-E, about an accident-prone repair robot who gets stranded outside the space station during the events of the film. Cute but has a lot of recycled film footage, which feels vaguely like cheating.

- Next, a 20-minute feature on the sound design. No, really, it's interesting! The true geeking-out commmences.

- DELETED SCENES! Unlike the half-finished scenes on past Pixar DVDs, these basically look and sound like the real thing. Includes a mildly disturbing sequence (with at least a dozen Star Wars references) in which a trash compactor nearly kills Eve.

- Director commentary -- okay, I don't have all day, people.

- Preview of WALL-E's Tour of the Universe -- I watched this -- it's 50 seconds long -- and I still have no idea what WALL-E's Tour of the Universe is.

- Easter egg featuring Pixar guys bragging about what nerds they are. Adorable, but I'm seeing a serious absence of lady Pixar employees. Hire me, Pixar! I can hold my own with the Star Trek references!

DISC 2
- This disc is divided into 2 categories. Let's start with "Humans: For Film Fans."

- A "Behind the Scenes" section contains six different featurettes (average length: 10 minutes) on animation, design, character concept -- I'm going to get any work done today, am I?

- Deleted Scenes. Yes, more deleted scenes! Unlike the others, these are all sketchy-looking and prelimary.

- BnL shorts - A history of the Buy N Large corporation, in commercials. Awesome.

- The Pixar Story -- a feature-length documentary about Pixar. Unquestionably biased, and yet, it had me from that first montage of the history of animation. What can I say, I'm just a sucker for lovable big-eyed creatures that talk with celebrity voices.

- Now let's check out the "Robots: For Families" category.

- WALL-E's Treasures and Trinkets -- Against a blank screen, the film's robots interact with objects from the human world. Hi-larious! I may need to watch this twice.

- Bot Files - Oo, it's like those superhero bios on the Incredibles disc! But about robots! And better!

- "Lots of Bots" Storybook - Not so much a book, more like a combination educational game/story/stylized cartoon, but it works.

DISC 3
Ohhh, Disc 3 is a digital copy. What are digital copies for again? So I can put the movie on my iPod? Yeah, now that you mention it, I want WALL-E on my iPod.

Verdict: If you're a Pixar fan, you want this. The deluxe DVD set retails for $40, but I bet you could find it at a pre-holiday sale for $25 or $30, or pre-order it before tomorrow on Amazon for a hefty discount.