Strollerderby : daycare

Why Swine Flu is Bad for the Economy

JeanneSager — Fri, 01 May 2009 15:32:00 GMT

Swine flu could have a devastating affect on working families, and not a single member of the family has to get sick to do it.

School closures are already happening around the country, and President Obama has warned many more may happen in the coming weeks. He's suggested we set up contingency plans for daycare, but here's the rub: daycare centers are being advised not to take in kids from the schools where the outbreaks are occurring - because they might will make the spread even more dangerous (especially for the younger kids who are regulars at the centers).

So what are parents to do? Stay home with their kids?

They're federally protected by the family medical leave act to do so (as long as they haven't already used up their twelve weeks alloted FMLA time this year for other family emergencies). But there's no provision to ensure parents are paid to do so. And there's no provision for employers to make up for the loss in productivity.

In other words? Swine flu isn't just affecting the tourism industry and the pork industry. It could well hurt the economy as a whole, and lower income families specifically.

With other school closings (which I have, at times, advocated for), there is generally advanced warning. With this, there is no clue what schools might close and when. With other closings there's also rarely a reason for daycares to keep kids out - if anything, vacations help the daycare industry because there's an influx of kids and their paying parents.

So what can parents do? Call other parents. Figure out a playdate schedule for a few days so your two kids can play together while one parent works, then switch off the next day. At the very least, it will lessen the number of days out of work for you. Find a neighbor who is unemployed because of the other economic issues and see if they'll watch your kids (chances are, they won't cost as much as a traditional daycare anyway, especially if you're handing them cash off the books).

If my daughter's nursery school closes down, I'll have to do my own scrambling, but I can't say I blame school officials. The first superintendent to leave a school open and watch a child die is going to face one heck of a lawsuit.

Image:PBS

Two Parents Passing in the Night: Staggered Parenting

JeanneSager — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:31:00 GMT

It's a concern that's become even bigger than ever, but the stories of parents getting creative to avoid daycare costs are only getting wilder.

Take the parents who work opposite shifts, rarely getting to spend real quality time together in their marriage, because it enables at least one parent to be home with their two kids almost every moment of the day.

Lisa Belkin of the Motherlode took a look at Megan and Tim Garrett this past week, a couple who surmises in a good week they're able to limit the use of actual (paid for) daycare to six to nine hours. How do they do it? "Staggered parenting," Belkin calls it. One works nine to five, the other in swing shifts. Just not at the same time (if they can help it).

It's something like what I talked about in my own Bad Parent essay last week in honor of Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. Daycare is so cost-prohibitive, that I worked out a deal with my boss - I go into an office twice a week while she goes to an actual (again, paid for) daycare. The rest of the time, I take my daughter to work. Some say I've got it easy because I can do this, and I will certainly say I am lucky to have this time with my daughter.

But neither I nor the Garretts have it easy. And unless you're one of those lucky ducks still swimming in the big bucks in this economy, I dare say you don't either.

It's why we're all thinking outside that proverbial box to get the daycare bills paid - or better yet, to avoid them at all. I'm a proponent of paying people what they're worth, so it's hard to come up with a solution for the high costs of daycare. We can't very well expect these people to watch our children for free.

But what of the mom who works nights, the dad who works days, so one can be home with their son at all times? Should they simply be expected to accept the strain that puts on their marriage and their family because, well, "they are doing what should be done when we decide to have children" as one commenter over on the Motherlode said? What about the Garretts, who are ensuring their kids get to spend almost all of their time with mom and dad, but who get almost no time alone to just be adults? Not to mention virtually no "family time." This isn't a knock on single parents, but when there ARE two parents in the situation, it's hardly optimal for the kids to never see them interact.

Daycare is expensive. Daycare is often inflexible. And daycare is not created equal. My friend pays $30 a day for her son to go to a small registered daycare with a nursery school curriculum and both breakfast and lunch provided. That's $150 a week - not too bad, but not available to too many families. She's popular, and fills up fast. In the same town, another friend pays $490 a week for the same service. The disparity is hard to fathom.

For parents who work part-time, the problem isn't just expense but finding a program that will accept their child. We need the money, but few daycares want to take on a child who will not be bringing in steady income for them (can you blame them?) to the tune of five business days, and many are loathe to take on a child at the tail-end of toddlerhood because they know the money will soon dry up once the child is enrolled in "real" school. Infants are tough to place too - in many places they take the place of two older children. In other words, the provider can charge the parent of an infant one fee, or they could take in two toddlers and get two fees - but not both. Again, you can't fault the provider (I'd prefer a limit in kids, wouldn't you?) but it certainly doesn't make life any easier for parents.

So what do you do? Many of us go unregistered, which carries with it its own problems - when I recently wrote about setting up a quid pro quo system with an unemployed friend (cash in exchange for their babysitting time), a commenter pointed out that flies in the face of attempts to professionalize the industry. Again, I agree that daycare workers shouldn't be treated like scut labor, but "non-professional" daycare providers can provide top notch care too.

So what's the fix? Employer-sponsored daycare (um, yes)? Government intervention? For one, I'd like to see the childcare tax write-off system change so we can write off ALL daycare expenses (rather than the "up to $6,000 for families with two children under age thirteen"). Not to mention paid paternity leaves, lengthier paid maternity leaves, and . . .

For all those, of course, there are the arguments from the same people who popped up on the Motherlode citing the rest of the country shouldn't have to pay for our kids. But let me ask: would they rather provide universal programs for parents to keep us in the job market or pay for us all to sit at home with our kids all day being unproductive and FEELING unproductive? Might I point out, those kids are American citizens and future taxpayers too. So how about a little help?

Image: No Time For Laundry

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Economy Fix: Give 'Em All Jobs in Daycare

JeanneSager — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:27:00 GMT

No good could come of this phone call - my babysitter was hacking up a lung, and I knew I couldn't call out sick from work. Who knew I'd find the silver lining in finding an unemployed neighbor?

Yes, I called my neighbor, who is a grandmother and fantastic with kids - mine especially. She was happy to lend a hand and get a little cash; I was happy to have someone I trusted watching my kid.

After doing a little informal poll, I'm finding a lot of parents have started turning to the unemployed for extra childcare options. Let's face it - these are generally responsible folks, and they're home . . . all day. They might be hitting up the work force development office and making the job fair circuit, but otherwise, they have a lot of extra time on their hands. I've had more than one unemployed acquaintance tell me the frustration of the day isn't just money but the lack of productivity. They WANT to be doing something - and babysitting may not be glamorous, but it's a job.

So what can you do? Instead of calling the teenager next door to watch their kids after school so you can go out and run some errands; call the neighbor kid's mom to watch them during the same time period . . . and spot her a fistfull of dollars. When your sister calls out sick, don't call your boss and call out yourself - find a friend who could use the boost.

It isn't the big economy fix we're all hoping for, but for parents who are always searching for the next daycare fix - it could mean a world of difference.

Image: HomeCareWorld

Babysitter Sleeps While Kid Plays Among the Alligators

JeanneSager — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:36:00 GMT

Your babysitter was never this bad - trust me.

A Florida sitter fell asleep on the toilet while her two-year-old charge went out and wandered around in an alligator-infested canal.

According to some reports, the boy was wearing nothing but a shirt and covered in feces when he was spotted and promptly rescued. When police got to the house, they say they found his babysitter on the toilet - passed out - and a bottle of oxycodone. The sitter, Brandy Albright, was woken up by police and placed under arrest for child endangerment, while the boy has been returned to his mom.

Unless you live in Florida or another coastal area of the country, you likely don't have to worry that your kid is going to be out playing with the alligators when you aren't home. But does a sitter really have to be told not to take drugs while they're watching your kid? There's a warning about not operating heavy machinery while taking these drugs on that bottle for a reason.

Just remember this one the next time you want to complain about your sitter. At least he or she remains upright throughout the day. If not, it's time you get yourself a new sitter!

Image: APP

Want Free Childcare? We Can Help

JeanneSager — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:05:00 GMT

So the economy is getting worse, and you have to work more hours . . . but you can't afford to add extra daycare for the kids? We might have the answer for you.

Host and Care was set up to link students in need of accomodations with people they can help - primarily parents who have a guest room in their house and could use eight to sixteen hours a week of someone extra watching their kids.

The free site doesn't run background checks on care seekers or care providors, nor does it determine the terms of a care/accomodations deal. It's simply a conduit - and one that's gaining attention in an economy where every little bit helps.

Daycares have been announcing enrollment drops since the economy took a turn for the worse, in part because there are more laid off parents at home to watch their kids. But the bigger reason? Parents just don't have the cash - and while some babysitters have taken paycuts to keep their jobs, most daycare costs are contractual. There's no break for parents, leaving them with options that range from bad to worse. Like reports that an increasing number of parents are simply leaving their kids home - alone.

So instead facing of a mountain of bills to pay, they'll be facing a pile of child neglect charges . . . or worse - their kids could seriously hurt themselves.

Host and Care could be an option for parents with guest rooms, rooms they already pay the mortgage on and heat, rooms that won't be filling with guests any time soon considering friends and family are hurting financially too. It's akin to having a live-in nanny - without the cost - while the students get a leg up on paying their way through school with the burden of rent off of their shoulders.

Is there a college near you where there might be students looking for a room? Check out the site - they also connect families for house swaps, a great way for bigger families to save on accomodations on the road.

Image: MilitaryMoves

Daycare Mistakes Windshield Wiper Fluid for Kool Aid, Kids Sick

JeanneSager — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 21:24:00 GMT

At least once a year, we run into a story like this - somewhere kids are sickened (or worse, die) when they drink a glass of windshield wiper fluid that someone thought was a cup of nice blue Kool-Aid.

No surprise then, that it's happened again - this time daycare workers in Arkansas gave ten kids glasses of windshield wiper fluid accidentally, sending all ten kids to the hospital. The kids, ages two to six, drank about an ounce each and are doing OK (as little as two tablespoons can kill a kid) - although doctors say they want the kids to be closely monitored.

The problem here (besides the fact that they were trying to give the kids Kool-Aid, yuck) is windshield wiper fluid is brightly colored - a lot like kids' favorite fruit drinks. Open up a bottle, and it smells sweet, making the liquid all the more tempting for kids. Obviously - with this case and dozens of others - those factors play as much of a role in adult mistakes too. Apparently, in Arkansas, a daycare worker had recently been shopping, coming back with a variety of products - one of which was grabbed and put in the refrigerator. Stupid mistake, but not beyond the realm of comprehension.

Considering all the health risks - blindness, seizures, DEATH - from drinking windshield wiper fluid, when are these companies going to step up to the plate and start making a product that scares kids off? Do they really think adults are going to stop needing clean car windows all of a sudden if they make their fluid stink? Do they really need to make a TOXIC product taste good?

Or does this all come down to the money?

Image: CDX

Child Left Overnight in Daycare Van

Kate Tuttle — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 17:30:00 GMT

Something's going wrong in Milwaukee: in two separate incidents, two six-year-old boys were left in daycare vans that were meant to transport them home. Both boys had fallen asleep and were not seen by the van drivers.

In one case, the boy's mother was out of town; he was being dropped off with two of his siblings into the care of someone else -- someone who apparently had no idea how many children they were meant to care for. The boy slept in the van Friday night, unseen and unclaimed until his mother came back Saturday morning and began searching for him.

The other case involved a boy whose family only took "an hour or two" to begin looking for him. Both cases are being investigated, but it's hard to know how much more the police will find beyond the simple tragedy of neglect. It's a miracle the boy left overnight was happy and healthy when found; Wisconsin nights can get cold in February.

As much as I read these stories as horrible examples of slack parenting, I remember an ex-boyfriend whose mother had six kids, and was always leaving one behind when the family stopped at gas stations on long car trips. It got me thinking: what does it take to forget about a child?

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Education Secretary Talks Elongated School Year

JeanneSager — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:33:00 GMT

President Obama's education secretary might have a hard time selling his new plan to kids, but parents should be jumping on board.

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan has floated the idea of extending the school year, positing the idea that the reason American kids fare poorly in comparison to other nations is because China, India and the like send their kids to school more days out of the year.

But kids shouldn't put the blame all on Duncan. The new education secretary is joining a long line of education officials looking to keep kids in school. Minnesota superintendents put forth a proposal last year that would increase the state's classroom time from one hundred seventy-five days to two hundred. A group in Delaware is pushing that state to add one hundred forty extra hours of classroom time to its schedule. In Pennsylvania, there's talk of extending Philadelphia's school year to ten and a half months, while Chicago's mayor has suggested a year-round school system.

Meanwhile, some states are taking the other tack. A series of bills in front of the Indiana General Assembly would actually shorten the school year - and administrators aren't happy with the idea.

Shorter school years - longer breaks - have been associated with a lack of retained knowledge. Teachers say there's a lack of time to adequately prepare their students - leading to the "teaching to the test" mentality driven by No Child Left Behind. And kids simply aren't able to achieve to the highest standards. As the 1983 Education Department report "A Nation At Risk" pointed out, "history isn't kind to idlers."

At the same time, studies have shown kids benefit from shorter school WEEKS. An extra day off in districts that have shifted to four-day weeks boosts student performance as well as student morale.

Parents complain that shorter weeks are a daycare hassle, but so are extended breaks. So maybe the answer is longer school years, made up of shorter weeks? Give the kids a three-day weekend, providing one day a week that parents have to pay for daycare instead of ten straight weeks of daycare in the summer (which amounts to about fifty days of daycare - about the same as one Friday per week for fifty-two weeks).

Image: CNN

UPDATE: Soldier Dismissed From Duty After Showing Up With Her Kids

JeanneSager — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:20:00 GMT

Good news! The mom called back to military duty four years after her honorable discharge has been excused from duty. Of course, she had to prove how ridiculous the Army was acting by showing up at Fort Benning with her two kids - which somehow the military expect her to hold off on having because she was on "individual ready reserve" despite her honorable discharge.

Here's the text of the original post detailing her ordeal:

She was honorably discharged from the military, but a North Carolina mother has been ordered to report for duty at an Army base this weekend. With no other options, she's bringing her kids along.

Lisa Pagan finished up her tour of duty four years ago, earning an honorable discharge from the Army. Fast forward four years - and two kids - later, and Pagan has been told she's on "individual ready reserve" status. She's being called back to serve.

The letters started in December 2007, and she's expected on base today. Except she's a stay-at-home mom who operates a child care center out of their home. Her husband, who she met while in the military, is the family's primary breadwinner - and his job keeps him on the road a lot. Located in North Carolina, they're too far from her family in New Jersey and his in Texas to make grandparents stepping in an option.

She's tried to appeal on the grounds that there would be no one to take care of her children. The Army's answer? They say her husband should quit his job - and that taking care of her kids is not their problem.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the Army is a branch of the government, correct? And if a guy has to quit his job to stay home with his kids - putting the family without an income - then the government would be stuck footing their welfare bill. So, it really is their problem.

Besides the fact that this woman has served her time in the military and received an honorable discharge. She didn't go AWOL. She didn't pull a fast one to get out. She served her time. So why is she being stop-lossed? Or something very similar? It's a practice few know about, the legal ability of the military to retain or call back former members after they've served out their enlisted time, one John Kerry dubbed a "back-door draft" in his race for the presidency. The numbers have only been increasing since Kerry's speech, despite orders by Bush's Defense Secretary Robert Gates in 2007 to limit its use.

Pagan's case highlights one of the chief reasons it's such a dirty trick. Former soldiers are people - parents, brothers, sisters, wives, children - who form an important role in their family's lives. To take away their abilities to provide for their families, to take their free will once their commitment has been fulfilled defeats the point of a military designed to fight for freedom and the rights of people whose families are being denied it.

Kudos for Pagan, who is putting her problem back on the military. She's showing up today with her kids in tow - and leaving it up to the military to figure out how they put a mother to work as a servicewoman.

Image: MSNBC

California Daycare Closed; Worker Was Mocking Kids' Genitals

Kate Tuttle — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:30:00 GMT

According to police reports, the owner-operator of a home daycare repeatedly pulled down the pants of the children in her care so that she and other adults could comment on the size and shape of their genitalia. In addition, the owner, Suzanna Best of the badly misnamed Best Family Child Care Home, let one child, a developmentally disabled girl, sit in urine-soaked clothes for several hours; another time, Best washed the child with a garden hose after she had pooped in her pants.

The report can be found by clicking through from the news article. It makes for interesting, if terrifying reading. Beyond the sexual abuse, Best was also violating state law by caring for more children than her license allowed (and had even planned for it by showing the children an "escape route" to follow in case the authorities ever came to inspect), and hired workers without conducting a criminal background check.

California's Departmet of Social Services is now investing the daycare, located in San Bernardino County. But for parents everywhere, this is one of those "worst nightmare" scenarios that can make you question your own daycare situation, wherever it is. Despite all the state licensing and inspections, it's still possible to find out you've put your kids into the daycare from Hell. Asking the right questions when you're choosing a daycare helps -- unannounced visits help even more.

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Why Daddies Don't Babysit

JeanneSager — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 17:24:00 GMT

Let it be known that my husband is a saint - a superb dad, a model husband. But he doesn't babysit.

For that matter - no father worth his salt babysits.

They parent.

Since my first outing alone after giving birth - a whopping twenty-minute run to the grocery store and back - I've been haunted by the same question. "Oh, your daughter's not with you? Is Daddy babysitting?"

I usually just grit my teeth and nod, but sometimes I can't help myself. "No," I tell them. "He's not babysitting. You see, he's her father, and as such, he doesn't babysit. Babysitting is what someone is hired to do when her parents aren't available. My husband, her daddy, is home, spending time with his daughter."

The notion that mothers parent and fathers babysit is outdated at best, downright insulting at worst. Why are fathers, who in this day and age really do put in as much time with their kids as their female partners considered babysitters? They are, after all, doing the same things their wives and girlfriends do - playing games, discipling, bathing, etc. They have as much to do with the child's presence on this earth too; and not only in the sense of procreation. They help support their kids financially and emotionally. They get up late at night and fill a medicine dropper with Tylenol to soothe a teething tot, and they get up in the morning to make waffles and pour sippy cups full of watered down orange juice.

I don't know a dad who would call himself anything less. So why do people still treat them like the hired help?

Image: Sager Scenes

Does Your Daycare Have Night Hours?

JeanneSager — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:30:00 GMT

The average daycare closes its doors by 6 p.m. at the latest, but the average worker is putting in a lot of after hours. So where are their kids going?

If they're lucky, to one of the twenty-four hour daycares popping up in recent years. Places like Children's Choice in Dallas have seen spikes in attendance with the economic downturn, even while other daycares around the country are losing customers. Parents are taking on second jobs after the nine-to-five shift or picking up shifts they might not have opted for in the past because a job's a job - no matter the time.

According to the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies, a quarter of the nation's eleven million kids in thirty-six hours of daycare per week are in an arrangement strung together by their parents because they can't find any one place that meets their needs. Quitting a job to stay home - especially in this economy - isn't an option for these parents. In twenty to twenty-five percent of the dual-earning families, the mothers are the primary breadwinners.

What's most interesting is these kids don't have altered schedules like their parents. They eat dinner before heading off to nighttime daycare, they take a bath and get into their jammies. Then they're dropped off at the center. They sleep through the night right in the daycare center while their parents are at work.

Would this work for you? Or would you prefer to have the night with your kids?

Image: My Sweet Dreams Baby

Is the Sitter Just There to Watch the Kids?

JeanneSager — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 21:25:00 GMT

Have you ever asked the babysitter to do laundry? Wash your dishes? Take out the trash.

A fed up babysitter sounded off over at MomLogic this week, putting parents on notice she's paid to watch the kids . . . and only to watch the kids.

"Mary Poppins," says she's sick of moms bugging her about how to properly iron their little boy's shirt before a party, and she's not reaching their hands into that laundry basket and washing hubby's clothes.

She's got a point. She's not the maid. She's the sitter.

But is she a little bit wrong too? Is there ever a time when it's appropriate to ask the sitter to do chores around the house?

It's rare that sitters come to my house, but I can't say that I've ever asked one to do anything more than spend time with my daughter and keep her out of trouble. I try to prep the meals ahead of time, so they have only to throw some milk or juice in a cup at intervals throughout the day and unwrap the PB&J to put it on a plate. They're welcome to the food in the cabinet, but I'd prefer not to come home to a pile of dishes in my sink.

Beyond that, there isn't much I can imagine asking my sitters to do. I admit I am enamored with the one teenager my friend recommended, who spent part of the day in my daughter's room with her, empty each dresser drawer of clothing, folding everything and putting it back. I paid top dollar for her, but wowsa - I could FIND a pair of jammie pants and a jammie shirt that matched that night! You want her number now, don't you?

As a babysitter myself back in the day, I remember doing that type of thing - the unasked-for tidying. I clearly remember alighting from the bus with the little boy I watched every afternoon, heading inside to set him up at the table to do his homework then turning to the dishwasher. We had our adventures, but when we weren't tromping through the woods or reading in the living room, I felt like I had to keep myself busy.

There were limits. I would never have touched the parents' laundry; and if they'd asked I would have balked. Laundry is just too personal a job for someone who isn't being paid to do it, and for a teenaged babysitter to have to see the Dad's underwear there can be untold traumas!

But the kids' laundry is another issue. "Mary Poppins" says she won't iron the baby girl's socks as asked. She won't iron the kids' pajamas either because that's "stupid." I tend to agree with her on the order itself (but then again, I don't iron - that's what a spritz of water and a tumble in the dryer is for). But this is an issue that's related to the task at hand - it's part of taking care of the kids. Doesn't that make it part of her job?

What about picking up after the kids? She says she barely has time to get their dirty breakfast bowls in the sink because keeping up with three toddlers is hard. Yes, toddlers are hard to handle, but she picked babysitting. She told these parents she could handle the task. Now, apparently, she can't. So maybe the people she needs to go back the drawing board with the parents, and discuss what's expected and what she's comfortable doing. Or maybe she needs to find a new job, in a new career path.

I might not ask my babysitter to do much, but if she told me she flat out didn't think she had to do things that related directly to watch my kid, I'd be finding another sitter.

Image: MomLogic

Michigan Hunter Shoots Into Daycare Center, Wounds Two Kids

Kate Tuttle — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 15:04:00 GMT

Along with fishing, hunting is big in Northern Michigan, both as a hobby and lifestyle and, increasingly in bad economic times, as a way to provide meat for one's family. Up in Cheboygan County, where my family has a summer cabin, gun shops and taxidermy studios are as common as rare-book stores and coffee shops are near my year-round home. It's just part of the culture. So when hunter Crystal Sherwood accidentally shot up a daycare center last November, inflicting minor wounds on two young children, the local reaction was, "accidents happen!"

According to the Cheboygan Daily Tribune, the Benton Township resident was firing at a deer when her bullets pierced the daycare. Sherwood now faces charges for discharging a firearm in or at a building, two counts of careless discharge of a firearm and felony firearm. Free on bail, she has already surrendered her hunting rifle. If convicted, she could face up to six years' jail time.

Reading, online, the newspaper we all consume over coffee on chilly summer mornings up at the lake, it occurred to me how very different things are from here. I live outside Boston, where guns and hunting are seen as pretty low-rent and even bizarre, certainly as dangerous and even immoral. And obviously it's a horrible thing that children were injured, just as it's horrible when children in the city are injured in firearm violence or accidents. Yet the comments on the Tribune site point to a different, and maybe more reasonable, reaction from the citizens Up North. Repeatedly, they stress that this was an accident, that Sherwood has given up her gun, that her guilt over the incident is undoubtedly worse than any judicial punishment. Then they speak as taxpayers, wishing to avoid paying for someone they regard as "not a criminal" to spend time in jail at taxpayer expense. Then they speak as fellow hunters, suggesting she should take up fishing instead, or take a safety class, or be mandated to speak about the incident at local schools or sporting clubs.

Look, if one of my kids were hit by a stray bullet from any source whatsoever, I'd be thinking of murdering someone. But I'm fascinated at the responses of the northwoods crowd -- fair, measured, critical, sympathetic -- and it makes me wish sometimes that my tony Massachusetts suburb had a little more of what they have up there (including the venison).

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Nanny Dumps Kids in Daycare

KeriF — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 16:33:00 GMT

Roxanna Patricia Villamarin seemed like the perfect nanny, until her clients found out that instead of taking their children on fun outings to the zoo, she was dumping them at another in-house daycare. Villamarin paid this unlicensed daycare provider $10 per day.

Her own salary? $16 per hour.

Now she's facing five counts of grand theft, one count of intimidating a witness and one count of annoying phone calls (is that a real crime?).

How did she do it?

Villamarin encouraged her clients with her focus on educational outings and strong opinions on child-rearing. She even offered to make organic homemade baby food for the little ones. But according to officials, Villamarin had been leaving at least five clients' children in a rundown apartment over five years.

"She would pick up the children; she would drop them off at an unlicensed daycare center. And she would pursue other goals," City Attorney Will Rivera said. Goals like working other jobs, in a farmer's market and in her family's restaurant.

Villamarin told the kids they were going to "the library," so when the kids relayed that information to their parents, no red flags were raised. But there weren't many books in "the library," a small, rundown apartment with barred windows on a busy street in East Hollywood.

I know if my kids told me their nanny was taking them to the library all the time, I'd be thrilled. But I like to think I'd ask them a little more about it. What did you read at the library? Did you go for story time? Did you see any of your friends there? Where are the books you checked out? One child told his parents he took a shower at the library. Villamarin told the parents their son was being silly, but that certainly would have given me pause. My children shouldn't be showering anywhere I'm not.

According to Villamarin, the parents deserved it. "They treat me bad, I treat them bad," she says. Among her complaints: she was underpaid, didn't receive health insurance, and was paid under the table. Did she ever raise these issues? "No, it's not my style to complain," she says.

Outsourcing her work and taking advantage of trusting parents, however, is her style.

More Parents Leaving Kids Alone to Save on Daycare

JeanneSager — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:36:00 GMT

When code enforcement officers started inspecting apartments in a small Washington-area town, they uncovered an alarming problem. There were kids in apartments all over town - kids too young to be alone, kids whose parents just couldn't afford daycare.

According to a Washington Post report over the weekend it's happening all over the country - parents are leaving their kids alone so they can save a little money on daycare.

It's not hard to understand. The costs of daycare are high, and many parents report they're working as much to pay their babysitting bills as they are the mortgage or rent and put food on the table. When it comes time to cut one, food and shelter win out over paying another adult to be there when you're not.

Not that I'm excusing the parents who left their five-year-old daughter to be found by code enforcement officials, cowering in the closet of her family's apartment in Riverdale Park, Maryland or the family who kept their ten- and twelve-year-old home from school to watch their younger siblings.

But I can see how they made their choices. And they're hardly the first generation to do so. A large percentage of our greatgrandparents' and grandparents' generations were pulled out of school by their parents to help out at home, the need to take care of younger brothers and sisters while Mom helped Dad in the fields or took in sewing or did whatever it took to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads. Unfortunately, they never went back to school.

That many daycare workers are underpaid makes this an even more difficult mess to solve - better wages would mean a hike in daycare costs for parents who are barely making ends meet themselves. So how do you help parents?

One of the answers may be in shifting the opinion of who can stay home alone and for how long. In Maryland, child welfare workers say the basic rule calls for kids younger than thirteen to have a caregiver watching them. They say they're enforcing that on a case-by-case basis, however, because of the circumstances.

And that's how it should be. I don't know any five-year-old kids who should be left alone, but I do know some very capable eleven-year-olds. On the other hand, there are some fourteen-year-old kids I wouldn't trust for a minute in a house or apartment by themselves. That's something parents should know about their kids, and a choice they should have the power to make.

Image: The Washington Post

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No Good Choices in Child Care Debate

Amy Kuras — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 22:28:00 GMT

It’s a familiar paradox to every parent who works outside the home – childcare costs so much that sometimes it just makes more sense to stay home, even if that’s not what you would really prefer to do –and that’s if you can find a spot in a halfway decent center.

So I thought this brief blog post from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer’s Working Dad, Paul Nyhan, to be interesting. He stated that on average, child care center directors – that is, the people running the show – make 35 percent less than kindergarten teachers. You know the people who have the most direct contact with the kids make much less. And 17 percent of all family-owed child care centers have closed in the last five years.

Something like half of all kids are regularly in child care, he states – although I don’t know if that number includes just kids who are in full time daycare or those who go to Grandma’s every afternoon or preschool two mornings a week.

He points out a fundamental disconnect between supply and demand – that child care workers often don’t make a decent wage, but parents struggle to pay for it. I wonder why that is, although I have a few theories.

One is that child care has traditionally been women’s work, and we generally undervalue anything traditionally done by women, like teaching and clerical work and so on.

And I think it’s also a fundamental discomfort in this county with the idea of women’s economic power. There’s a strong cultural bias against middle class women who work outside the home if they have young children, but the feds mandate only a paltry three months unpaid maternity leave. Other countries offer one year, paid, minimum, so mothers of babies don’t have to go back to work right about the time they are beginning to feel somewhat good at the baby care gig.

All I know is, I envy my friends who have on site child care at their jobs, or free and loving grandma care. Because for the rest of us, the choices suck.

Mommy's Little Tax Deduction, And How To Get It

Kate Tuttle — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 18:33:00 GMT

You know how everyone always gives you lots of unsolicited advice before you have a baby? Like, "your life is gonna change forever!" or "sleep when the baby sleeps"? One thing people rarely tell you, but should, is this: daycare is hella expensive. Luckily, there are a few ways you can defray these costs -- either through the federal Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit or through a Flexible Spending Account through your work.

It's too late to sign up for an FSA for 2008, but for those trying to figure out what will work best for 2009, here's a handy calculator.

For those without an FSA but looking to claim the daycare credit (which is left unclaimed by thousands of parents who are eligible), the National Women's Law Center has assembled this useful resource. Thanks, women!

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Is This Baby Obese? Aussie Mom Says No

Kate Tuttle — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:02:00 GMT

Are we too quick to call babies overweight and obese? One Australian mother thinks so, and she's pulled her infant from a daycare center for fears the staff there, who labelled her ten-month-old overweight, will fail to feed her adequately. Olivia Villella, ten months old, is hitting the 75th pecentile for weight and the 25th for height -- maybe a little on the round side, but nothing most doctors would worry about -- but her teachers at the ABC childcare center in Australia have called her fat and obese (which her four-year-old brother mis-heard as "a fat beast"), prompting her mother to worry they will withold food from her should she remain there.

I'm all for helping parents feed their children a healthy diet, and even giving them tools to know when their child might need expert help, but the knee-jerk labelling of any child as obese, particularly by people who have no medical training, seems counterproductive at best. While I'm sure the mother is leaving the daycare out of embarrassment and anger as much as any real concerns of her daughter's starving, I can understand how she feels. It's all too easy to judge someone else's baby, and when those doing the judging may well be bringing in their own baggage (especially when it comes to gender: why is it always a girl baby that gets this label?), then it's downright destructive. I know that if my child's daycare wanted to put my child on a diet without consulting me, I'd be out of there fast, calling everyone on the waitlist as I went.

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Is Cutting the Sitter's Pay the Best Way to Save Money?

JeanneSager — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:34:00 GMT

So we're headed into a recession, and you're going to have to put some extra hours in at work to make up for a reduction in staff and earn that much-needed overtime. Is now really the best time to give the babysitter the shaft?

A list of childcare saving options in a recent Wall Street Journal piece quotes a SitterCity poll that puts 36 percent of babysitters taking pay cuts. Providing a list of way to break the news, they admit it's not easy to scrimp when it comes to the person who is going to care for your child.

So I wonder, should you? Really? Let's revisit that sentence: the person who is going to care for your child. This isn't skipping the morning latte in favor of a travel mug full of home-brewed joe. It's telling the person you pay to be there with your kids when you're not around that they're just not worth as much this year as they were the last. In a tough economy, chances are they'll swallow that excuse. But aren't they more valuable this year than ever before?

Studies have shown a mother's ability to work is dependent on the ability of childcare. The less flexible the job, the more flexibility needed on the childcare front. And the only thing flexible about jobs these days is whether they're going to be there tomorrow. So think twice about how much you're going to spend on their Christmas or Hannukah gift this year (downgrade that spa package to a single massage to make up for putting up with your brat), but you might want to keep the love flowing their way right now.

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Daycare Provides Bites Child in the Back

Jen Chaney — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 12:32:00 GMT

Here's a little tip for anyone who runs or works at a daycare center: Unless you want to get your license revoked, you probably should not bite the kids in your care.

Erin LaBarge of Norwood, N.Y. totally missed that memo. A few weeks ago, as reported by News 10 Now, LaBarge admitted to biting a two-year-old boy that she cares for during the day. She openly told the boy's mother, Miranda Vari, that she sunk her teeth into the child, but Vari didn't fully grasp the information. She assumed LaBarge meant she had given him a tiny, playful bite.

After returning home, Vari's son Kole began complaining about a boo boo on his back. While changing his diaper, Vari found the sizeable bruise, where teeth marks were still visible. Giving LaBarge the benefit of the doubt, Vari called to ask the woman exactly where she had bitten Kole. She confirmed that it was on his back. Kole's parents then reported the incident to the police and Social Services.

The News 10 story says LaBarge's daycare license was revoked and she was charged with one count of endangering a minor, but it also says she is still allowed to care for two unrelated children at a time. My guess is most parents pulled their kids out of that daycare so quickly it didn't matter, but that still strikes me as strange. If her license has been revoked and she has a charge like that on her record, it seems like she shouldn't be caring for any kids, at least until she seeks some sort of help.

The story also doesn't explain what motivated LaBarge to bite, which is what I find most puzzling. Was Kole misbehaving? Had he bitten her and she wanted to teach him a lesson? Neither scenario justifies the behavior, of course. But I am just baffled by what could motivate an adult, a person who had been a licensed daycare provider for the past six years, to do such a thing.

Aside from being just plain bizarre, this story is a reminder of how important it is to thoroughly vet any daycare center or nanny. Get references. Check on their licensing and, if possible, find out if any formal complaints have been filed against them. Visit the center or the provider and, most importantly, go with you gut instincts about whether the care offered will be what's best for your child.

Even after doing all of that, sometimes the unexpected can still happen. Vari claims that LaBarge was a family friend, so she probably felt she could trust her. But apparently sometimes basic trust isn't enough to save your kid from getting a nasty bite in the back.

Image: News10Now.com

Bonnie and Clyde Leave Kid in Hotel Room

JeanneSager — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 18:06:00 GMT

I'm not sure whether to commend Gabriel Espino and Marsha Castillo for not exposing their son to their life of crime or go at them with both barrels. The New Jersey couple left their 2-year-old in a motel room last week while they allegedly broke into a house in Weehawken.

When they were caught and placed under arrest, police said Espino claimed they were just trying get money together to buy diapers and formula. But when police entered the motel room, they found the 2-year-old watching television on the bed, and a pile of stolen electronics, including laptops and iPods. So far, the couple has been charged with a total of seven burglaries.

Covered in bruises, the little boy was rescued and taken into custody by the state while his parents were sent to jail on $20,000 bail. His mother is facing child endangerment charges, and his father has confessed to all seven burglaries. For the first time since they moved into the Weehawken hotel several months ago, the family at least has stable housing - albeit split up and all paid for by the state. The fact that the family was living in a motel makes Espino's claims of needing money to buy formual and diapers believable - they were, for all intents and purposes, homeless. One police report even says Espino, 22, had recently lost his job and worried about how to pay the motel bill.

Not that any of it gives a set of parents the right to leave a toddler unsupervised. For a little little boy, locked in a motel room, I can think of dozens of dangers just off the top of my head - from knocking the TV over onto himself to turning on the tub and an accidental drowning. What's more, the sheer terror for a toddler to be left alone without Mommy and Daddy gives me chills.

I'm not giving them a break for turning to crime either. If you can't feed your kid, you take it on the chin and beg, borrow . . . do anything short of stealing. In the words of Mr. Hand, stealing is bad, MmmKay?

But there's a little part of me that feels sorry for a mom and dad living in a flea bag motel (according to reports, the kid was covered in bed bug bites) who probably couldn't afford a babysitter even if they'd thought to call on one while they went off on their admittedly bad, bad errand. In this economy, I'm surprised there aren't more parents like Espino and Carillo just doing what they have to to pay the bills.

Image: Journal News

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Take Your Kid to Work, But Don't Let them Take Control of a City Train

JeanneSager — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 13:08:00 GMT

There's take your kid to work day, then there's put half a city at risk day. A trolley driver in Boston has been reprimanded by the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority for letting his son and nephew get behind the wheel.

A pissed off passenger (wouldn't you be?) took pictures of the man and two kids and posted them on Craigslist. Michael Critz listed what trolley the picture was taken on, the date and time, and posted a link back to his own Website.

Critz expresses sympathy for a dad having to work on a holiday weekend and admits we all make mistakes. He worried what would happen to himself - it's illegal to take photos on MBTA, a rule enacted after 9/11 - but Critz said he decided it was more important to protect others. Beyond the distractions the two boys could potentially be to a driver who needs to keep his attention on the tracks at all times, Critz said the kids were dangerously close to the main controls of the trolley. That includes the emergency stop button (the big red button in Critz's photo, above).

The MBTA told the Boston Herald that the 45-year-old driver has been disciplined before. He was suspended for three days last year for using a cell phone while operating the train.

As a mom, I know what it's like to have to suddenly take my daughter to work because the babysitter called out. I'm lucky that my job has allowed me to take my daughter with me a large percentage of the time, and allowed me to work from home when there was simply no other option. But before heading out to interview someone at their house or even in their office, I always warn people she's coming. I also find a sitter or call on a friend when I'm heading somewhere that she just shouldn't be. And I'm not putting hundreds (or potentially thousands) of people's lives at risk. I don't drive a train. But I'd like to think I could trust the people who do - with my life and the life of my own kid.

Sometimes we feel like our bosses just don't understand what it's like to be a parent, and sometimes we're right. MomsRising, an advocacy group for working moms, estimates 100 million American workers don't have paid sick days so they can take the day off to care for a child. Based on a Children's Defense Fund Study, MomsRising says even parents who have the sick days don't necessarily have enough money to pay a daycare when their child is well. The study found childcare costs anywhere from $4,000 to $10,000 a year.

But work is still work. Unless your boss has said, "Oh yeah, bring 'em along," kids don't belong in the workplace.

Image: Michael Critz

Extending the Privilege of Preschool

Shannon LC Cate — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 00:10:00 GMT

"Why aren't you in school?" the third stranger in a week asked my daughter today. My daughter is only three, and though it's true that we home school her, she is still two years shy of the compulsory school age. But I have stopped being surprised by the question, because the playgrounds where we spend our mornings are dominated by babies and toddlers. It is true that most children my daughter's age are either in a fancy preschool (the upper and upper-middle class kids) or a not-so-fancy daycare (the working class kids).

If preschool is truly as ubiquitous as this, why doesn't the federal government fund it for every child, as it does K-12 education? Clearly, as Judith Warner has argued families need preschool.

A study reported in USA Today this summer found that where public preschool exists, it is working: "The researchers found that as the kids entered kindergarten those enrolled in the state program had better reading, math and writing skills than kids who were either not enrolled in preschool or who spent time in the federally funded Head Start program."

Yet these schools are far from ubiquitous. A 2007 study funded by Pew Charitable Trusts found that most three and four year olds are denied a chance to attend a public preschool. Though Head Start (which, remember, has been found less effective than public preschool) is available for poor families on an income-test basis, and expensive private preschools are full of upper-middle class children, working and lower middle class children are missing out.

If my children and their children are going to be asked to pay the interest on a $700 billion bailout for today's ruined bank executives, don't we owe them the best possible opportunities for a good education, or at the very least, a safe place to play while we work to put up the down payment?

The Anti-Day Care Contingent

Jen Chaney — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:02:00 GMT

Am I the only person who finds this post on MomLogic a little surprising? In it, the author writes about her decision to place her son into fulltime daycare and how that has provoked extremely negative and judgmental reactions from other moms.

"I would never send my kid to day care," one supposedly said. "Isn't that going to traumatize him?" asked another.

To which my response is: Whaaaaa? Where are these people living? The majority of moms and dads in this country work, and quite a few of them send their kids to daycare. Plus, studies show that children develop just as well, and in some cases even better, when they are enrolled in a daycare center. Given how common this is, it's hard for me to fathom how any one could possibly find it strange or misguided if another parent decides to go the daycare route.

So am I crazy, or are there people who a. are ignorant enough to think a daycare center will actually traumatize a kid and b. are rude enough to say this out loud to someone's face? Obviously every parent makes his or her own choices based on what he/she believes is best for the child. Will we ever reach a point where all of us accept those choices -- whether it's stay at home, get a nanny, sign up for daycare or some combination of these options -- and not judge each other for them?

Frankly, I thought most of us were already mature enough to have gotten there. Either I'm horribly mistaken or this MomLogic blogger is hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Image: Lilsugar.com