Strollerderby : daily palin

Morning News: The President-Elect is a Secret Smoker

Madeline Holler — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

On Meet the Press yesterday, Tom Brokaw dragged it out of the president-elect: yes, Barack Obama still smokes.

So what's the big deal? He obviously keeps it out of the limelight.

Well, the White House is a smoke-free zone. He'll have to go to some lengths to light up and not break the rules. Obama assured Brokaw (very end of the transcript and video) that he wouldn't. He also said he hasn't given up on giving up and that, under the circumstances, he's done well with cutting back.

We think it's totally better to be a closet smoker than, say ...

... a total dimwit that takes long vacations every chance he gets, wrecks the country's economy, starts a war under false pretenses, gives away rights and money and human lives, and doesn't even really regret much about it. (Oh, wait, kind of got off course there. Our advice to Obama regarding ciggies: never quit quitting.)

Love the youth and vitality of Obama, his supporters and loads of the people that work for him. But we can't help but loathe this guy: 27-year-old Jon Favreau, Obama's incoming director of speechwriting. He may be gifted with words, but comedically he's very empty. Here's a picture of him at a party back in the primary campaign days, making advances at a cardboard cutout of Hillary Clinton.

Was a titty grope the best Favreau could come up with? And posed in front of a camera? Hanging out with a guy who still wears his ball cap backwards? We suppose there's one of those Hillary nutcrackers kicking around in the background too.

Reports say that Favreau apologized to Clinton, who responded with humor.

Ann Romney, wife of once presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. Following a lumpectomy, she's doing well. Her post-op cardboard cutout will soon be ready for a little attention from the hil-AR-ious Jon Favreau and the can't-be-contained Backwards Ball Cap.

Oh, in case this needs clarifying: Obama's totally an American, born on American soil and everything! Still, it's the whisper campaign that won't end and the Supreme Court will decide today whether to hear either of the two cases challenging the president-elect's "natural born citizen" status. Some claim he doesn't qualify because his father was a citizen of Kenya.

Update on President George W. Bush's new house: exclusive community, home also to Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and, at one time, Ross Perot, only recently started letting non-whites to live there. Recently, as in 2000!!!!

From Raw Story:

Until 2000, the neighborhood association's covenant said only white people were allowed to live there, though an exception was made for servants. The document, enacted in 1956, reads: "Said property shall be used and occupied by white persons only except these covenants shall not prevent occupancy by domestic servants of different race or nationality in the employ of a tenant."

Laid-off workers at Republic Windows and Doors, a Chicago factory, have staged a sit-in to protest the short layoff notice, a lack of severance pay and paid-out vacation time. Obama says he supports the workers' demands.

Obama spelled out a few of the details of his WPA plan. Grab a hard-hat and get to work!

Former Clinton labor secretary Robert Reich thinks we should call this economy what it is: a depression! Is Prozac going to get us out of it?

So much for going green the easy way -- recycling. Everything's back to junk value so a lot of your good sorting efforts will wind up in the landfill. But we'll always have reduce and reuse.

Unsold cars are piling up too.

Good news for Iowans! Their state may be inching closer to lifting a ban on gay marriage. Their supreme court will start hearing arguments today challenging the legality of a recent ban on same-sex marriages.

Drinkable, Dressable Obamas

Photo: AP

Morning News: Drinkable, Dressable Obamas

Madeline Holler — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Obama -- the latest American brand to go international.

A French entrepreneur has created a new Obama energy drink. He's got a picture of the president-elect and Change we can believe in right on the label. Profits aren't the motivation (we read with eyebrows raised), but inspiring the poor in France. What next? The Yes, We Can vitamin water?

Fashion designers want a hand in developing the female side of the Obama brand. They've sketched out bunches of inaugural ballgown designs, few of which, they're complaining over at Slate, take into account that Michelle is (stage whisper): black. Check out the WWD slide show and you'll also notice, skin tone aside, only a few of them have figured out that Michelle, like many, many women in America (but few who are considered fashion icons in waiting), has an ass.

Let's check in on the other "O" brand, namely Oprah. Is it starting to slide? Though she's extended an invitation to Sarah Palin, the GOP darling has snubbed her. She has yet to book a date on the show.

Maybe Michelle Obama snubbed Oprah too, because contrary to rumors, the first lady of TV confirms the first lady-elect won't be wearing Oprah's fabulous jewels. (Also confirmed, Oprah will still have a show come 2011. She's "multi-dimensional, she says and can handle it all.)

Perhaps Palin should have asked to borrow some of Oprah's accessories. The RNC says it spent an additional $30K on Palin and her family. That's in addition to the much talked-about $150K.

Get this: while flinging billions and billions of dollars at hoarding financial institutions and, very likely, a desperate auto industry, the Bush administration and the Federal Reserve have had a lightbulb moment. Why not help out struggling homeowners and even, OMG, those who opted to wait out the obvious housing bubble.

George W. Bush and Laura Bush feel your housing pain! Like your neighbors, the first couple are facing eviction from their current residence. The two will move to a less modest and even more exclusive home, this one in the suburbs of Dallas. It's a four-bedroom, 8,000 square foot ranch style home. The county appraised the property at $2.1 million, but, also like your neighbors, the Bushes paid waaaaay more than it is worth. (Don't worry, George, there'll be a bailout plan for you too!)

Congresswoman Slams Down the Phone on Obama ... Twice!

They Say – Most Toys Are Toxic

How Many Clintons Does It Take to ...

Bush Acknowledges Crappy Presidency ... Yet Leaving With Head Held High

Photo: Noticias

Morning News: Congresswoman Slams Down the Phone on Obama ... Twice!

Madeline Holler — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Florida GOP Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen refused to continue a phone call with the president-elect yesterday. Was it anger? Politics? Lack of interest in talking to the Democrat who was elected fair and square?

Actually, it was a miscalculation on Ros-Lehtinen's part. Perhaps learning from her party's VP candidate's mistakes ... she just assumed it was a prank call from a Florida radio station morning show. A third try was the charm. We kind of like this lawmaker's suspicious mind.

The Times Online has a video and story about Obama's grandfather, who was apparently tortured by the British during the Mau Mau uprising, Kenya's struggle for independence. Obama's grandmother says his grandfather was a cook for a British Army officer and acted as an informant during the rebellion.

A new Harris Interactive survey shows a majority of Americans are fine with same-sex couples getting married. Some 75 percent thing gays and lesbians should be allowed some kind of legal partnerships. Only 22 percent think there should be no legal recognition of committed same-sex couples.

Your worst fear as parents confirmed: you can't afford college!

Oh boy, here we go with shaming the fatties again. The annual list of healthiest/least healthy states -- determined in large part on obesity rates -- has been released. Vermont is the healthiest (oh, aren't they always). Life in Louisiana, however, is a veritable early death sentence.

A watchdog group has found that fewer toys tested positive for lead this year. That's the good news. The bad news is they found a third contained worrisome levels of toxic chemicals. Not to worry, since nobody's buying anything this year anyway.

Finally, every child of divorce worries he or she somehow contributed to the demise of the parents' marriage. Britney's ex, Kevin Federline, confirms as much. He tells people magazine that Britney filed for divorce after he was paying too much attention the kids.

Photo: CNN.com

Morning News: How Many Clintons Does It Take to ...

Madeline Holler — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

It's up to New York Gov. David Paterson to decide who will fill Hillary Clinton's senate seat, assuming (as we safely can) that she'll be secretary of state in a matter of weeks. Paterson's options are many, Andrew Cuomo is the favorite of voters, but there's one long-shot who just screams disaster/drama/ain't that America good times!

Bill Clinton! Of course, he claims to have no interest in accepting the appointment whatsoever, but come on. It's fun to think about.

Definitely not filling an open seat in the Senate is Georgia Democrat Jim Martin. He lost a run-off election last night to the marvelously named Saxby Chambliss, a Republican who is now and forever indebted to Sarah Palin. She stumped for the guy non-stop. The Chambliss win means no filibuster-proof Senate for Democrats.

Republican Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski has basically told Sarah Palin to "back off, that's my corner." The two are up for re-election in 2010, and some think Palin might enjoy her own two years in the Senate before making a bid for the White House. We've seen that can be done!

Minnesota senator hopeful Al Franken continues pushing that boulder uphill in his effort to get every vote counted. It's paying off, bit by bit: he picked up 31 new votes yesterday.

At a meeting of U.S. governors yesterday, Barack Obama got to meet Lousiana Gov. Bobby "GOP's Obama" Jindal and trot out the VP-elect Joe Biden (who promptly went off script when talking to Sarah Palin). Obama promised immediate help for the 41 states who are facing budget shortfalls for next year. (Can anybody name the nine solvent states?)

After 30 years in exile, Academy Award-winning director Roman Polanski has made a formal request have the child molestation case against him dismissed. Polanski was convicted in 1977 of unlawful intercourse with a 13-year-old girl.

Bush's last-minute planned "new right of conscience" rule will not only let medical professionals opt out of all things abortion, but may also mean anybody in the medical care food chain can refuse to participate in such banalities as birth control or advancements like fertility treatments. Wait, when is this guy getting the hell out of our lives?

Want to help your as-yet unborn daughters to avoid or survive breast cancer? Eat eggs -- lots of them -- while you're pregnant. Hey, it worked on rats!

Bush Acknowledges Crappy Presidency ... Yet Leaving With Head Held High

'The Monster' to Head State Department

Babble Podcast for November 24, 2008

Palin Turkey Slaughter Not a Hallmark Moment

Photo:

Morning News: Bush Acknowledges Crappy Presidency ... Yet Leaving With Head Held High

Madeline Holler — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Last night in an interview with ABC's Charlie Gibson, the man who is barely still president (big sigh of relief) owned up to a few of his failures as president. He said the Iraq war exceeded his expectations (and not in a good way) and that he was unprepared for war. He also took a bit of the blame for John McCain's election loss. The biggest regret of his presidency?

Intelligence failure in Iraq, he said. He wishes the intelligence "had been different." It was, Bush, it was! Also, no mention of regrets RE: Katrina or Dick Cheney.

Hey, drop the confetti! The U.S. has officially been declared in recession! In fact, the U.S. economy has been secretly in recession for an entire year! What sneaky, debt-ridden, lay-offing, over-extended little devils Americans are. On mention of this stealth-now-real recession, the Dow plunged nearly 700 points. In case you're wondering, President Bush is sorry about the economy too.

Is it shame? Economic realities? Good ol' Alaskan consignment store shopping attitude? Sarah Palin is rewearing clothes from the campaign (and not even the cutest stuff, which, we're left to believe she did, indeed, give back)!

The Obamas are headed to Hawaii this Christmas! It's actually not news, since they spend every Christmas there, but back in August, when he took a week off in Hawaii before the convention, there were calls for him to go somewhere "normal," like Pebble Beach, S.C. Nevermind that when you grow up in Hawaii and your only living relatives live in Hawaii, going to Hawaii for Christmas is normal. (And nevermind when you grow up anywhere west of the Mississippi -- or is it west of I-95? -- going to Pebble Beach is not normal.

Some doctors don't want to scale back on vacations, so they're dropping -- yes, DROPPING! -- vaccines from their caregiving offerings to families with kids. Apparently, private insurers don't reimburse enough to make it worth it for the doctor. Plus, there's gotta be a whole lot of profit in caring for kids with measles, ear infections and meningitis! We'll file this one under "Pros" in the Universal Healthcare: Should We/Shouldn't We debate.

MSNBC has a list of the 20 Top Medical Breakthroughs for Women. So you think it's going to be about detecting heart disease early or studies determining correct dosages of common drugs. Nah. It's stuff like "liposuction is great because there are stem cells in belly fat." And also, "anti-aging products really work!"

Somebody, cut this guy off! No, not literally. But this Dutch man has fathered 46 kids through sperm donation and he's nowhere near ready to stop. He sounds altruistic (even hosting a party recently for all his children), but should his genes really be so over-represented in the population?

Photo: ABCNews.com

Morning News: 'The Monster' to Head State Department

Madeline Holler — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Looks like president-elect Barack Obama will make the big announcement today: Hillary Clinton will officially become a part of his administration as secretary of state. Filling out the other top spots in his national security team are current Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who will remain in the job, and retired Marine General James M. Jones as national security adviser. Susan Rice is expected to be named ambassador to the U.N.

OK, but here's the awkward part:

Remember Samantha Power? She was one of Obama's foreign policy advisers during the campaign -- the one who got busted for calling Hillary Clinton a monster? Well, she's actually a part of the transition team put together to help prepare for Clinton's nomination. Insiders report that she made a big gesture to bury the hatchet and that Clinton received it well. Good. Because we like both of them.

Final thing about the anticipated nomination: Husband Bill jumped through all kinds of hoops to please Obama so that his wife could take the job, including releasing names of donors. Good Bill.

Considering the economy, wars, etc., Obama is said to be working hard to set the right tone for his inauguration Jan. 20th. He has limited the maximum donation amount to $50,000 (typically, it's $250,000). His committee also won't take donations from lobbyists, corporations, political action committees for non-U.S. citizens. And there's been some talk of Michelle opting out of a couture gown for something more pedestrian.

While the Obamas and a packed Washington, D.C., celebrate the new administration, Laura Bush and her husband will be heading back to Dallas. She told Tom Brokaw on Meet the Press yesterday she plans to continue working on behalf of women and children in Afghanistan.

Current Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is heading to India on Wednesday in the wake of the attacks on Mumbai last week. She will offer condolences and also support for the Indian government.

In interesting health news, voters in Switzerland approved a new program that will provide heroin for addicts at clinics around the country. Switzerland has long provided clean needles and designated areas for users to shoot up, but supporters say this next step will cut down on crime and improve the health of heroin junkies.

Photo: JCU.edu

Morning News: Palin Turkey Slaughter Not a Hallmark Moment

Madeline Holler — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Sarah Palin pardoned a local turkey at a Wasilla farm yesterday, apparently her first-ever such act as a governor. So maybe it was an unfamiliarity with, what, slaughter scenes?, that kept her unaware of what was going on right behind her. It's like a three-minute Coen brothers movie -- she talks about what she's thankful for, a turkey's getting its neck broken.

I case you're wondering, distracted -- or can't make it through the video -- Palin's in charge of cooking the turkey at her family's Thanksgiving (her sister and mom bring everything else).

Also in the news, U.S. Attorney General Michael Mukasey collapsed while giving a speech last night at the Federalist Society dinner in New York.

By George, George W. is already (or is it finally?) saying good-bye! The president is setting aside an hour a day in these final weeks of his presidency to tell staffers and their families thanks and all that.

Also, don't believe what you read on Huffington Post, Bush administration officials are saying. The lame duck president definitely did NOT get dogged by other world leaders who appear in a video to not want to shake Bush's hand (the guy does look a little mopey though, no?)

Curiosity about the new president has gotten a bunch of Verizon employees in hot water. Barack Obama's transition team says there's been a security breach as some bored techies have snooped into the president-elect's cell phone bill records.

Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae will suspend home foreclosures between Nov. 26 and Jan. 9. The mortgage giants will use that time to decide which borrowers qualify for help. So, happy holidays to all those underwater with their mortgages!

The NY Times is reporting that a part of the deal between Brangelina and People magazine -- who won the bid for exclusive pics of the twins -- included writing only positive articles about the couple now and forevermore. And the magazine agreed! Hence, you'll never see Brangelina called "Brangelina" in People. Because the very exposed couple hate being called Brangelina! Incidentally, the NY Times piece very much flatters Jolie -- She's brilliant! She's marvelous! -- leading us to wonder whether they signed a contract with Brangelina too.

Finally, a dad tore a pit bull off his daughter in Oregon and saved her life. She was riding in a tire swing when he heard her screaming. Gruesome. The father managed to turn the dog's attack onto him, pried his jaws open, had a neighbor beat the crap out of it and eventually someone shot the dog.

Morning News is taking the week of Thanksgiving off, but we'll return with more headlines Dec. 1, including one most likely announcing Hillary Clinton as the next U.S. secretary of state (Bill ponied up all his financial records and made unprecedented disclosures and concessions so his wife could have the job. Payback's a bitch, ain't it, Bill?).

Morning News: Woman to Head Homeland Security

McCain Beats Obama!

Stevens Loses; Senate Dems Now at 58

Anti-Gay Church Lays Off Workers (After Spending Gobs on Prop 8)

The Second Thing Michelle Said After Obama's Historic Win

Is Hillary Back?

Pregnant With Palin

Video: HuffPo

Morning News: Stevens Loses; Senate Dems Now at 58

Madeline Holler — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, the guy who risked it all for a free grill, a back massager and a new deck, has lost his bid for re-election. Stevens, who likely would have won handily, had it not been for those pesky election year felony charges, lost narrowing to Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich. All of this adds up to nearly enough Democrats for a filibuster-proof Senate and a nightmare scenario for Republicans.

Oh, and Stevens will also likely seek a presidential pardon. (Of course, he is. Come on, George ... do one courageous thing before you leave office and tell him to serve his time.)

Is Hillary playing hard to get? Or is it that Bill, her husband, is hard to vet? Who knows, but apparently accepting the Secretary of State position is not a foregone conclusion. Insiders say she is torn between joining Barack Obama's cabinet and staying in the Senate to get healthcare legislation written and passed.

Know who else wants to stay in the Senate?

Obama rival and Hillary Clinton pal John McCain. He brought together a bunch of advisers to put together a political action committee -- a signal he intends to run for re-election in 2010.

Obama's cranking through the possible appointments: Eric Holder, a deputy attorney general under Bill Clinton, will likely be offered the attorney general job today.

This warms the heart: Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales were both indicted by a Texas grand jury on charges related to prisoner abuse.

Back to the Clintons -- Don't Ask Don't Tell, the bill that allowed gays to serve in the military bud forbid them from being gay might be overturned. The bill's sponsor says it'll happen in Obama's first year in office.

We reported recently on a hospital superbug that is giving thousands and thousands diarrhea. That superbug? Also showing up in loads of supermarket meat. Break out the veggie kabobs!

The parent company of Lean Cuisine is recalling a bunch of the frozen chicken meals. Not because of the gurgly tummy issue from the supermarket meat, rather these meals may contain some foreign matter. Ugh!

OK, so we've all gotten used to Bush's total incompetence regarding Hurrican Katrina. Looks like Hurricane Ike victims are faring no better. Months later, some families are still waiting for trailers, having spent their life savings on campers to live out of on their front lawns. The emergency services in this country are so embarrassing!

Anti-Gay Church Lays Off Workers (After Spending Gobs on Prop 8)

The Second Thing Michelle Said After Obama's Historic Win

Morning News: Is Hillary Back?

Photo: Politico

Morning News: The Second Thing Michelle Said After Obama's Historic Win

Madeline Holler — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Lots of good stuff from Barack Obama during his 60 Minutes interview with Steve Kroft last night. But let's start with the first-lady elect's reaction when the couple realized he had won the election.

She turned to him and said: "You are the 44th president of the United States of America. Wow. What a country we live in." Then, according to her husband who may or may not have been exaggerating: "Yeah. And then [Michelle] said, 'Are you going take the girls to school in the morning?'"

Awwww.

He said his mother-in-law squeezed his hand while they watched the election night returns -- a gesture that was slightly out of character for her. And also, he said sleeping in his own bed in Chicago and spending time with the kids has been a treat, after so much time away from Chicago during the campaign.

On more serious matters in the interview [go to HuffPo for gobs of clips], Barack Obama also said he would, by executive order, close Guantanamo and ban torture.

Perhaps even harder than it has been for Barack Obama to give up smoking will be giving up his Blackberry, to which he has admitted he is addicted. However, disclosure and public records laws, as well as for security reasons, he may be forced to give it up. Even more unimagineable is that he will also have to give up email. No email? No Blackberry? What else is there?

Former rival John McCain and Obama will meet today in Chicago to talk about ways they can work together. That should be fun.

Finally, a Daily Palin tidbit: maybe the fact that Palin's two eldest kids and her soon-to-be son-in-law are high school dropouts had little or nothing to do with her. A new report shows that Alaska's dropout rate is double the U.S. average. Nearly 40 percent of this year's ninth-graders in the state won't have high school diplomas in 10 years. And the state ranks 50th -- dead last! -- in the number of this year's ninth-graders who will have a bachelor's degree in 10 years. So, come on. Lay off the Governor!

Video: CBS News [via HuffPo]

Morning News: Is Hillary Back?

Madeline Holler — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton? Maybe. Last week it was a rumor that died down quickly. Since yesterday, though, there appears to be some traction. Obama camp insiders are trotting her name out among a few others (John Kerry, Republican Chuck Hagel, Bill Richardson), and some of his advisers say she's the best pick.

Why?

It's better to have a Clinton on the inside, rather than outside making trouble (true, that). The drawback of Hillary? One word:

Bill.

On foreign matters, this update: Osama bin Laden is apparently hanging on by a thread these days. He's mainly focused on his own survival and basically cut off from al Qaeda operations. Good news, sure, but on the lam for seven years? Damn.

Those leaky Dems have also disclosed that Lawrence Summers may no longer be under consideration for the Secretary of Treasury position, thanks in part to women's groups who can't stand the guy and his girl brain/boy brain "theories."

More than 1 million people are expected to attend Barack Obama's inauguration Jan. 20 in Washington, D.C. That's a ton of people. (Will you be one of them?) Everybody's scrambling to get tickets, places to stay, enough law enforcement, and enough public viewing space.

Think some generous Northern Virginia families would be willing to put up a few of these 8,000 bedouin tribesmen for the big swearing in? These guys claim to be the lost tribe of Barack Obama. They even have evidence that they are linked by blood to the president-elect. Come on, guys, we get him first!

If your priest is a real jerk, you might want to avoid being seen at the inauguration, on TV or otherwise. South Carolina's Rev. Jay Scott Newman is refusing communion to anyone who supports Barack Obama, unless they've done penance for their vote. Who knew the Holy Trinity was so dang bi-partisan!

And you thought Joe Biden was going to be an embarrassment. Obama's Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel had to apologize on behalf of his father yesterday. Dad, who was once a member of a militant Zionist group thought to have committed terrorist acts against Palestinians, had this to say about how influential his son will be: "Obviously he will influence the president to be pro-Israel," he was quoted as saying. "Why wouldn't he be? What is he, an Arab? He's not going to clean the floors of the White House." Oh, cringe.

Speaking of terrorists? Embarrassments? People who won't go away? Bill Ayers is on Good Morning America this morning in his first interview since the election. Will ABC let Elisabeth Hasselbeck take a few minutes off The View stage to watch?

Felon/Senate incumbent from Alaska Ted Stevens is almost certain to have lost his re-election bid. But did he get to keep the grill?

A complaint has been filed against the Mormon Church for not fully disclosing allllll the contributions made to the campaign to ban gay marriage in California. Seems stuff like state phone bank use, commericals and other promos weren't reported in the disclosures. We hope this complaint turns in to a huge pain in their asses.

Disaffected youth keep pouring into Nebraska hospitals as parents watch the deadline to abondon their teens under a very unrestrictive safe haven law grow nearer. State lawmakers will way lower the age limit (to, like, three days) in a special session in January. We've said it before, but Nebraska might want to consider beefing up its family services outreach. Because, wow. Just wow.

Morning News: Cindy McCain Has a Boyfriend?

Madeline Holler — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:30:00 GMT

It's been awhile since we've had a juicy political-ish affair to report on, so let's start the day with this one: the National Enquirer (ahem!) has published a super grainy photo of a blond woman in a pony tail kissing a creepy looking dude (perhaps also wearing a pony tail).

The tabloid says the woman is Cindy McCain and the dude is, well, they don't say. They say this make-out scene was at a music festival in Tempe, Ariz., two years ago.

We're skeptical, though gracious enough to note the scandal mag totally nailed the John Edwards/Hunter Rielle affair.

But you have to ask yourself: Cindy in an ugly flannel shirt? Drinking Bud from a plastic cup? And don't we expect more discretion from the former non-first lady of the U.S. Thoughts?

We're trying to quit Sarah Palin, so to speak, we really are. But we can't get her off of the widescreen! It appears she is covering all her bases during the post-election media frenzy that features, mainly, her.

First, she told us she'd run for president in 2012 if she received divine orders to do so. Now that her Alaska compatriate (and felon!) Ted Stevens is behind by three votes (at last count) in his re-election bid, she's also saying she'll be lookin' out for God's orders to make a run for that Senate seat in 2010 (or fill an empty one if Uncle Ted wins but gets the boot). So many ways to get Todd and the kids the hell out of Alaska!

Palin's poised even to unseat George W. Bush and his wife Laura in the book world. Publishers are lining up to get the not-much-longer first couple to pen their memoirs, even setting aside bags of money for their troubles. But Sarah Palin could strike a deal that would get her way more than them ... something like $7 million. George, baby, it's so over.

Now it's Joe and Jill Biden's turn to check out their new digs (what? The vice president is finally going to give up his Amtrak pass and live in D.C.?). They're meeting with Dick and Lynne Cheney today and, yes, we'd like to be a fly on the wall there too. No word on whether Cheney will be disclosing all those undisclosed locations. Or whether he'll wait until Jill leaves the room to tell Biden to "go fuck himself."

Ex-Rep. Mark Foley is breaking his silence on the whole text message young male pages thing that basically wrecked his career and helped Democrats take over Congress in 2006. But he's not exactly contrite. He says he's sorry for getting caught, but not for what he did. "They were almost 18!" he says. "No one told me that they weren't enjoying it!" Um. OK (you perv).

Disgraced non-gay Ted Haggard is also breaking his silence two years after the meth-using evangelical minister got totally outed by his favorite gay male prostitute. Haggard says his indiscretions stem from having been molested when he was 7 years old. But that he's all better now. And basically it was God's will that all these Republicans, including himself, got caught being hypocrites.

We like it when gays embrace their gayitude and are especially happy that Connecticut has kicked off gay marriage season just as California preps to shamefully shut its down. The Connecticut State Supreme Court recently struck down a gay marriage ban and couples are lining up to make their partnerships legal. Huh. We're going to go ahead and declare that God's will too.

Photo: National Enquirer

Morning News: Are You There, God? It's Me, President Palin

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Sarah Palin told reporters yesterday that she would heed a call from God to run for president in 2012. And this time, she would be prepared for the brutal ride. In the meantime, she'll be praying for God show her an open door if a run for the White House is, indeed, His will.

One thing that might help? Father McCain has absolved her of any campaign sins, which may have led them down that most evil of paths, election night failure.

The GOP presidential candidate told Jay Leno last night that she did nothing to damage the ticket, rather, she inspired voters. Also, he's pretty much caught on that he's way too old for the job.

In her whirlwind damage control tour, she also told Matt Lauer yesterday that Katie Couric's questions were fair, just before mocking them. Then she says she reads the same stuff in Alaska that people read in New York. OK, then. Name something!

Political analyst Michael Barone claims he was honing his comedy chops when he told a roomful of pissy journalists that the liberal media mistreated Palin because she hadn't aborted Trig, the son who we all know was born with Down syndrome. He later apologized via email.

While we're on regrets, Bush, he's got a few. Interestingly, his regrets are bits and pieces of the last eight years. Not, you know, the entire thing. The short list: "Mission Accomplished," "Bring'em on," and "Dead or alive." We were thinking more, Donald Rumsfeld, Patriot Act, signing statements, torture.

At first blush, Bush's mortgage bailout appears to be too little and too late. Only hundreds of thousands of homeowners will get some relief (as opposed to millions) and this is all coming 15 months into a deepening mortgage crisis. But, you know, dump this on the other guy.

Last night Indiana University, today San Francisco ... it's the launch of John Edwards's comeback tour! He's also scheduled to debate Karl Rove at an upcoming bankers convention. Are we ready for this yet? Eh, what the hell (though we're kind of more interested in an Elizabeth Edwards vs. Rove thing).

Parents of teens are speaking out on Nebraska's liberal (but soon to change to very restrictive) safe haven law. Seems most agree that teens are a pain and they could use some help.

Eight people were arrested for allegedly shooting an Oklahoma woman at a KKK retreat in Louisiana.

This'll make you crap your pants: about 7,000 hospital patients on any given day has been infected by Clostridium difficile, a diarrhea bacteria that is increasingly common in hospitals. Only bleach kills it. And overuse of antibiotics may be to blame for it.

Morning News: Public Schools? Hannah Montana? Michelle O's Big Decisions

Matt Lauer Talks To Sarah Palin In The Kitchen

With Hand Raised, Palin Swears 'I am Trig's Mom'

Photo: livingtext.wordpress.com

With Hand Raised, Palin Swears 'I am Trig's Mom'

Madeline Holler — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:02:00 GMT

In this nine-minute video of Sarah Palin, she tells the Alaska press that from her home in Wasilla that, among other things, she's amazed her ticket did as well as it did in the election. Also, the former VP nominee says the GOP represented the status quo that Americans were sick of.

If you had ever seen Palin interview, pre-nomination, you see the old Sarah, not the post-Gibson/Couric/SNL one.

Also, she addresses the rumors that accompanied her quick rise to the top of national politics, including the one speculating she's not the mother of her fifth child. In her kitchen where she's serving something from a crock pot, she dishes on Tina Fey's family!

Turns out, Tina's in-laws are hardcore Republicans and showed up backstage at one of Palin's rallies. Thanksgiving is going to be fun this year, huh, Tina? As for Trig's mommy, she raises her hand and says that she is. Oddly, she offers up her medical records to prove it. Wait? Why now?

The video shows a bit of the inside of Palin's home. Todd sits shoeless in an upright chair next to the front door. Piper busies herself with Trig, carrying him upstairs and then back down. At the end of the video, she has noted on a pad of paper all the guests' drink orders. Somebody even asked her for a beer.

She says she loved her time in the national spotlight and has not ruled out a run for president in 2012. Palin also explains why she charged Alaskans for living in her own home, instead of the governor's mansion in Juneau (it's cheaper than making them pay for an apartment while the mansion undergoes remodeling). She also says how she'll walk the fine-line of asking for earmarks from the federal government (if it benefits all of the U.S., she'll stick her hand out).

She also says she won't go to work for Fox News, because she would have to leave Alaska. Wasn't she just saying she wouldn't go back?

So Obama's the President. Now What?

25 Things You Don't Know About Barack Obama

Morning News: Students Kicked Out for Saying Obama's Name

UPDATE AGAIN: Palin Prepper Defends The Gov

Photo: timesonline.com

Morning News: Students Kicked Out for Saying Obama's Name

Madeline Holler — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Having your candidate lose an election can make you want to do crazy things. Believe us! We've been there!

But banning the utterance of the president-elect's name strikes us a terribly old-fashioned/old-facist. Not to mention, against the law.

Yet the ACLU continues to receive complaints from parents and students of Pearl Schools in Mississippi.

The Pearl Middle School superintendent confirmed that two students were kicked off the bus for saying Obama's name. A basketball coach warned players that they'd be suspended if they did any such thing. The bus driver and the coach were reprimanded for their actions. We hope the students can think to come together and chant "Obama, Obama!" for the next few days. Because, yes, they can.

Barack Obama will continue the tradition of most presidents in exercising regularly. His sport, as we know, is basketball. Plus the guy can and does bench 200 lbs.(Go here for more Obama trivia). Only a few American leaders have been totally lethargic fatties: William Howard Taft, Grover Cleveland and Franklin Pierce. (Incidentally, these three weren't such fab dads either. Connection? Maybe.) And read here what Men's Fitness magazine says about who is fitter: George W. Bush or Obama.

Which of those two men is more fit to serve as president? Silly question. The big news is, Obama's considering reversing a ton of Bush's executive orders, like the ones to drill oil all over the damn place and also the limits on stem cell research.

(The two are meeting today, along with their spouses, to start the handoff. Awkward!)

Speaking of reversals, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger thinks Proposition 8, the constitutional gay marriage ban that voters passed by the narrowest of margins (and with millions of dollars from the Mormon church for false campaigns), won't last long. He thinks the state Supreme Court will overturn it. And also that the ban won't affect the status thousands and thousands of same-sex marriages now on the books.

PS: The wildly inappropriate governor is apparently getting some again, now that Barack Obama won the election. He tells CNN his wife, Democrat and Kennedy Maria Shriver, has let him back in the bedroom.

Another governor wasn't so lucky after Obama's win. Here are seven things an Alaska political analyst says Sarah Palin needs to deal with to get back in the good graces of state lawmakers and voters. Remember, she used to be really popular there.

A researcher in Baltimore has noticed pregnant women are a long-neglected group in studies on the effects of certain drugs and would like that to change.

Volunteers are still desperately searching for survivors of a collapsed school in Haiti. Most of the missing are between 10 and 20 years old.

25 Things You Don't Know About Obama

Mississippi Students, Postal Worker, Punished For Wearing Obama Shirts

UPDATE AGAIN: Palin Prepper Defends The Gov

Obama Meets the Press. We Don't Cringe.

Photo: blog.mlive.com

Morning News: Now the Dish From Obama's Camp

Madeline Holler — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 14:30:00 GMT

If you didn't like yesterday's revelations about tensions in the McCain-Palin campaign, the dish we have today from Barack Obama's camp won't make you feel much better.

Because it's all very warm and fuzzy.

Time magazine reporter Karen Tumulty collected war stories from insiders on the president-elect's campaign. Get this: no one greets advisers in a towel. (Bummer.)

The scoop:

When Obama learned the plane he was flying on would have to do an emergency landing, his response was "golly." When the plane landed safely, he pulled out his phone and called Michelle, who had been watching the whole thing unfold on TV.

After he swished a ball on the court of a U.S. base in Iraq, Obama told an aide, "I knew I was going to make it."

On losing in New Hampshire and pressing advisers to tell him why, his response: "This thing is going to go on for a while, isn't it?"

But it's not all hugs and gollies anymore. Obama's choice of Rahm Emanuel for chief-of-staff has some a little freaked out (but they're mainly Republicans).

The president-elect has also named a bunch of people to his economic transition team, arguably the most important group to get in place at the very beginning. Warren Buffet's on the list as is Robert Reich (whom we don't mind saying we have a bit of a brain crush on). There are a couple of women -- but only a couple. In fact, so far Obama's pretty heavy on the white and the male with his appointments or those rumored to being under consideration. Just an early alert to some possible controversy (especially since the economic team includes Lawrence Summers, former Harvard president who resigned after saying that totally crazy shit about men having better brains for math and science).

Oprah, in an effort to insinuate herself as much as possible into this election and our lives, will have that dude whose shoulder she was crying on at Obama's election night rally on her live show today. He was a campaign worker in California. She didn't know "Mr. Man," as she called him on Wednesday, but apparently she liked the way he spooned standing up. Our guess is he'll be repackaged in enough time to join her on this holiday's "Oprah's Favorite Things" episode.

The sadly re-elected Michelle Bachman (R-Minn), of "let's investigate anti-American activity" fame, said she's happy Obama was elected because it proves Americans aren't racist. Using that logic, her re-election proves that her constituents are not smart.

Also not smart? That idiot Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi who said of the new U.S. leader, "he's young, handsome, and even suntanned." Damn, Italy, so glad he's yours.

Oh, this is embarrassing. The North Carolina county that Sarah Palin called "real America"? Ummm, totally went for Obama. Like, in a landslide, 59 to 41 percent. We've always kind of liked "real America" too.

Look away, Palin apologists, look away! A few more specks of dirt about her campaign and its (once) hidden troubles: heavy spending on her clothes continued well past the convention and included a custom-made outfit around the time of her appearance on Saturday Night Live (eh. Just send Loren Michaels the receipt). And suuuuper embarrassing: a Republican Party lawyer is being sent to Alaska to inventory and retrieve campaign clothes still in her possession. (Hint: be sure to check Todd's closet, too!)

A little parenting news to slowly transition us away from the election:

Carnie Wilson (the Wilson sister who did gastric bypass ... that one) is pregnant, quite possibly with twins. She and her hub already have a three-year-old daughter.

Not a single racy scene from Little House on the Prairie comes to mind -- though we sort of suspect that ol' Uncle Jack was a real rascal in bed. Still, Finland has marked DVDs of the series as suitable for adult viewing only. Grrrrrrr.

McCain's Camp Starts Dishing On Palin

Yes, He Did!

Palin Bling-gate, Day 3

Palin's Makeup Stylist Gets Highest Pay in Campaign

Photo: MSNBC.com

Morning News: McCain's Camp Starts Dishing On Palin

Madeline Holler — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Reason No. 136 to celebrate Obama's win: the inner-workings of McCain's campaign are now free to be exposed. And they're starting with Sarah Palin.

An intrepid Fox News reporter told Bill O'Reilly last night (reason No. 137 to celebrate: Obama's win has taken the edge off O'Reilly for now) about what really went on after Sarah Palin joined the Maverick back in August.

Some highlights [plus video clip on HuffPo]: Daily Palin

Aides had to explain that South Africa was a country on the continent of Africa (as opposed to a region of the country of Africa ... major cringe!).

She didn't know the countries of North America (nor which countries were part of NAFTA, the North American Free Trade Agreement).

She refused help in preparing for her interview with Katie Couric ... and then blamed her staff when it became a laughingstock.

She read press clippings and threw huge tantrums that made her staff cry.

Of course, Palin does not want to be blamed for McCain's loss.

Some more dishy highlights on Palin [from Newsweek]

The $150K shopping spree, that we defended here, carried an even higher price tag -- tens of thousands of dollars more. And to think, we defended her right here! As a part of the spree, she bought $20K to $40 K in clothes for Todd. She made her staff put some of the purchases on their personal credit cards.

Palin wanted to speak on election night. But McCain's campaign strategist wouldn't let her.

Palin started in with the Ayers stuff before McCain had signed off on it.

Palin greeted campaign aides in her hotel room while she was wearing only a towel.

One McCain aide, who had gotten close to Palin during debate prep, got fired a week before the election for trashing the McCain campaign.

Other dishy stuff in either campaign [again, Newsweek]:

As long ago as the Sunday night before the last debate, McCain campaign insiders were deciding whether to tell McCain he didn't have a chance in hell of winning. They decided not to.

Obama was never going to choose Hillary Clinton as a running mate because of one main reason: Bill.

McCain was relieved Obama didn't pick Hillary Clinton.

On the night she lost the Democratic nomination, Hillary had a long, long phone conversation with ... John McCain. The two thought Obama was flashy and callow.

Neither of the two presidential candidates looked forward to the debates. Obama was recorded as saying this about them:

"I don't consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, 'You know, this is a stupid question, but let me … answer it.' So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I f---ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective'."

We hope Obama knows that that is EXACTLY what viewers are thinking when those questions get asked. Exactly.

Here's a nice little round-up of the McCain loss blame-game. Turns out, it's not all Sarah Palin's fault. But we knew that already.

Morning News: Yes, He Did!

McCain's Mom's Morale Super Low

Girl Power in the White House

The Obama Kids Get a New Puppy

Morning News: Election Day

Photo: HuffPo

Morning News: Yes, He Did!

Madeline Holler — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Well, wow. The election is over. And it wasn't even close, in terms of electoral votes. Not even close!

Americans elected Barack Obama to be the 44th president of the United States. No Bradley Effect, no hanging chads, no baggage. Just a fresh start.

Here's how some say Obama made it happen.

Obama's victory speech was hardly an end-zone dance, no balloons or confetti. It was pretty subdued, actually, and gracious, acknowledging the historical nature of his win but also not forgetting that there's real work to do.

The Democrats grew in the Congress too, but not enough for that much-feared (by some) filibuster-proof Senate. So we'll see if Obama's got the uniter chops that Americans have long been promised, but not seen in the least the past eight years.

Speaking of sitting presidents, guess whose even less popular today than he was yesterday? Have you heard he's kind of swinging a wrecking ball through the place?

Very popular is Michelle Obama. Lots of people, including McCain voters, think she'll make a fab first lady. (We couldn't agree more.) And we think it's totallyl cool that Sasha and Malia are getting a puppy!

Random: how totally satisfying was it not to have to see Dick Cheney's family out on the winner's stage last night? Man, were we sick of seeing them. Refocus.

We've got nothing for Daily Palin, except this question: did she get booed during McCain's concession speech? Like, a couple of times?

If this race didn't turn out like you hoped it would (believe me, we've alllll been there), here are some tips for avoiding post-election depression.

Plenty of other state issues to watch. We'll keep you posted on those -- in particular the abortion bans and notification laws. And also, same-sex marriage bans.

Did you know it the whole time or are you still in disbelief? What are you hoping for now?

They Say: Obama Wins

Photo: Chicago Tribune

Morning News: Election Day

Madeline Holler — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

If you didn't wake up with ants in your pants this morning, then you're still asleep. Because today isn't just any Election! Day! It's the Big! One! Election 2008, historic no matter what, is certainly one that the babies will be studying in American History class a dozen years from now.

So what's the news today, if not that? Well, there's a bit. Let's start with a really, really poorly timed press release from the California GOP regarding Obama's recent trip to visit his ailing (and, as of yesterday, now deceased grandmother).

The state party filed an FEC complaint against the Illinois Senator, claiming he used campaign money for personal use. They released the info. right around the time news that Madelyn Dunham had succumbed to cancer was making its way around the news. Shrewd, guys, shrewd.

Dunham's death just a day before the election is on so many levels sad. What's not sad? She had already cast her vote. And the state of Hawaii is counting it.

Onto our (final?) Daily Palin: A second investigation into "Troopergate" exonerates Gov. Palin in her role in firing the public safety commissioner. Unlike an earlier investigation by the Alaska Legislature, this one did not conclude that she abused her power.

Also, after waiting to the very last minute, Palin released a summary of her medical records yesterday. The two-page letter from her doctor says she's never had a major medical problem and that she's totally fit to serve as vice president. You know, healthwise.

Palin tells a black guy she knows what it's like to face discrimination, saying Todd gets it all the time in Alaska. Huh? Watch the video. Even she doesn't believe what she's saying.

So, in one little New Hampshire town, polls have already been opened and closed. And the results are in! Obama by a landslide -- 17 to 10, with two votes for Ron Paul (how sweet, remember him?). Oh, those quaint New Englanders and their "early bird elects the president" mentality.

McCain's got nothing prepared to say today. His speech writer might just start picking up a pen and sketching out some notes about now. That's just how those Straight Talkers roll.

Every news organization wants your polling place story. Or problem. Or picture. So take the camera and head to the polls. Get pics of those long lines, that crappy touchscreen, a poll worker turning you away for a felony you didn't commit. Then send it in to the New York Times or PBS or New York magazine or CBS or, more than likely, your local paper.

And by all means, tell us here at the Morning News in comments. Who? How? What was it like?

Breaking News: Obama's Grandmother Dies

Election Day Ritual ... What's Yours?

Why Monday Night Football Is Important To This Election

Take Your Kids To Vote . . . NOW

Photo: CBSNews.com

Morning News: Election '08 Already Retro

Madeline Holler — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Have you noticed just about every website has some kind of looking-back piece about this election. Sure, we've been judging candidates since forever! And even two months ago, when Sarah Palin joined the race, seems like, well, a lifetime.

Politico has a round-up of the best lines from the two remaining candidates. ABC has a three-minute video summary of the past 21 months. Slate's got everything since the final debate -- in only two minutes! Seriously, we're dying to know what happens in the next 48 hours and would like to forget everything before that!

Sarah Palin, too, is looking ahead and not back. She's got advice for Tina Fey (it has nothing to do with clothes, accents or upswept hair). More Daily Palin: some British townsfolk are so anxious to get rid of Palin that, in a long tradition of exploding effigies of political figures, filled Sarah with fireworks and sent her up in smoke! Alas, the real one is still around, still promising to release medical records but not exactly following through.

Is she hiding an October surprise for November? You know, what ever happened to that October surprise, anyway? Wasn't Bin Laden supposed to be captured or some video of Barack Obama -- or was it John McCain ? -- supposed to be released? Wasn't Joe Biden supposed to make an unrecoverable gaffe?

Or was is this revelation that Obama's aunt has been living illegally in Boston for a number of years? She's from Kenya and Obama says he hasn't had contact with her. Furthermore, he said laws should be obeyed.

A couple of great pieces of news from this election: voter registration is the highest it has been in the U.S. since women got the right to vote. Also, the past eight years are proof positive that Rovian politics -- hyperpartisanship that catered to a small but powerful base -- worked out pretty shitty for everyone.

Finally, gather round, politics junkies. We need to take a little personal inventory in advance of Wednesday. And Thursday. And that great but scary and empty beyond: the election is coming to a close. Let's start prepping ourselves for life beyond polls, political attack ads and maybe, just maybe, Sarah Palin.

Photo: ABCnews.com

Morning News: Which Spice Girl is Sarah Palin?

Madeline Holler — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:00:00 GMT

Alec Baldwin got the worst lines during the historic Sarah Palin appearance on SNL two weeks ago. Something about how good-looking she is in real life. We cringed.

He reasserted his biting comedic credibility last night on David Letterman (1) during his uncanny Palin impression and (2) his likening of Palin to a Spice Girl. (We won't spoil it and tell you which Spice ... just watch to the end.)

So Baldwin toughened up. But is Sarah Palin softening on opponent Barack Obama? Yesterday in Pennsyvlania, she called him "promising."

In other Daily Palin, guess who the actual, practicing "socialist" is. It's Sarah Palin! As governor, she presides over a state that has no income or sales tax, but is able to send each of its citizens a check for more than $3,000 annually. That money doesn't come from her wardrobe budget, it comes from oil company revenues. And it's mandated by law. AND! She raised the amount this past year to cover big jumps in home-heating costs. Someone gonna brief Joe the Plumber on that?

Speaking of Joe, where the hell was he when McCain gave him a shout-out at an Ohio rally yesterday? Dammit, Joe, you're just like that other one and turning out to be a real embarrassment!

Also, reality check on Palin's self-reported tight-fisted ways: She has a hometown friend helping her hold down the snow fort in Alaska while she's out on the road trying to get John McCain and herself elected. Palin pays this friend to keep the communication lines open between the governor and her staff in Juneau. But the extra expense doesn't come from RNC/wardrobe funds. No, Alaskans are subsidizing Palin's political aspirations and paying for this assistant's travel -- at about $1,000 per day.

Maybe Alaska and McCain would be better off if he just sent her home.

Not such great news for McCain if he's hoping the still undecided voters will put him over the top. This says that undecideds (and who ARE you?) kind of split down the middle once actually in the voting booth.

While Obama supporters worry of a Bradley effect (aka: I'm only a racist in the privacy of my mind and the voting booth), experts will also look out for the "bandwagon effect." This is where people just start voting for the guy who is ahead. (Again, who ARE these voters?)

What really matters, in the end, is voter turnout. So in states like Georgia, where McCain leads with likely voters (those who usually vote), Obama leads with registered voters (those who could turn out even for the first time ever).

Does this explain Hillary's loss in the primaries and Palin's instant popularity? Turns out, being pretty helps female candidates, while the only thing that matters for males is perceived competence.

Before you go adding links and leaving "tips" in the comments and warning us to look into this or that story about Obama (or McCain), scan this Politico piece because there's probably a reason the story hasn't stuck.

Morning News: But Wait, Says Obama Infomercial, That's Not All!

Madeline Holler — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:00:00 GMT

You know what we really miss? The primary campaign, back when Barack Obama was giving all those great arena speeches and famous people were making videos of songs with snippets of those arena speeches. It was fun getting tingly, being torn between candidates, buying a bunch of candidates' T-shirts and all that.

Sure, we get it. Can't be too charismatic in the general election, lest John McCain start up with that "celebrity" stuff again. Still, turns out we like catchy and original campaign soundtracks.

So the infomercial. What did you think? Not quite arena-Obama but definitely better than sitting through a frenetic late-night Magic Bullet commercial. John McCain was less than impressed, however. He cautioned buyer beware. "As anyone who has bought anything from an infomercial knows, the sales-job is always better than the product." Clearly, this man does not know the deep rewards of being able to "set it and forget it."

Now, McCain didn't buy airtime to make his case or respond to Obama's big $3 million media buy, but his daughter Meghan's got something to say (finally!) about this election and her dad's opponent. PS: She's blaming the last two years and Democrats for the mess we're in today.

Daily Palin: Recall the effigy of Sarah Palin hanging by a noose from some West Hollywood home? Well, it's down. Not by force, by choice (and probably neighborhood pressure). In actual Sarah Palin news, the VP pick is still roguing it on the trail. She's been ad libbing in her stump speeches so much that the teleprompter techs can't really figure out where she's at.

Early today on Good Morning America, she told Elizabeth Vargas "absolutely not!" when asked whether she would pack up and head back to Alaska if the GOP lost the election. Palin's got BIG PLANS!

Know who else isn't packing up and heading home? "Joe the Plumber." He's being pursued for a record deal. Wow! Can McCain pick the coat-tail riders or what?!

Also sticking around are Obama's big, big donors. Why? Because they're getting access to the Dem's top advisers. Politico's got a list.

Show of hands: have you already voted? Because you're not alone if you have (as if you didn't notice). People are turning out in droves to cast their ballots early and, as many say, hopefully safely.

Still not convinced that healthcare should be reformed? Well, if you're a woman, this might change your mind. Because you pay way more on average -- way more -- for your policy than a man who gets identical coverage. And we know what you're thinking, but it has little or nothing to do with the cost of childbearing.

If you're teetering on the edge with your home loan, help might (finally?) be on the way. The Treasury and the FDIC have come up with a rescue plan for little ol' you.

You know how proud you feel when your kid gets weighed and s/he's tipping the toddler scales in the 95 percentile? OK, well, what if seven pounds of that weight were a tumor, as was the case for this little boy. Yeeuugh.

Finally, we'd be remiss (and kicked out of our own home) were we not to mention The! Big! News! The Phillies turned back the Rays to win the World Series last night. Good morning news, people, good morning news.

Does the LA Times Hold Key to Obama Downfall?

Morning News: Malia Obama Tells Dad 'Don't Mess With My TV'

Elizabeth Edwards Speaks Out about Healthcare; Leaves Her Wedding Ring Home

N-Word Flies at Palin Rally

Barack Obama - A Secret Communist Because He Shared His Toys in Kindergarden

Sarah Palin Offered to Babysit Tina Fey’s Toddler!

Photo: Boston.com

Morning News: Does LA Times Hold Key to Obama Downfall?

Madeline Holler — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:30:00 GMT

McCain's campaign is accusing the LA Times of intentionally refusing to release a video that they say could have serious implications on the Obama presidential campaign. The newspaper said it promised a source it would not release the video and the organization intends to keep that promise.

Meanwhile, the paper reported on the tape and its contents back in April of this year in a story about the candidate's ties to Palestinians and Jews when he was getting into Chicago politics.

In the tape, Obama pays tribute to Rashid Khalidi, a scholar and critic of Israel and an advocate for Palestinian rights.

Will this be just enough to twist the winds of this election? Then again, there's always this McCain 1964 car crash rejoinder for those paying attention.

Or, or, or ... do the Republicans have another weapon flying under the radar? Namely, Todd Palin? Apparently the ladies are lovin' Todd, what with his strong-silent-type-ish-ness and his manly (yet modern Mr. Mom) pursuits. Does Todd Palin make you wanna spread your wealth and vote GOP?

Like a crisp white shirt and well-fitting black slacks, the Palin wardrobe story has become a timeless classic. Today's Daily Palin $150K update: Editor and meanie Fred Barnes, who called loyal McCain campaign adviser-turned-Palin-adviser Nicolle Wallace a coward for not admitting SHE'S the mystery couture shopper, recanted late yesterday. He says he got some bad info.

As for Wallace, she says she was more than willing to lie there under the bus, taking full blame for the fiasco. Looks like she won't have to.

Sarah Palin has called on her fellow Alaskan, "Uncle" Ted Stevens, to give up his Senate seat and his campaign for re-election. Stevens was convicted on felony charges this week. Is Palin looking out for Alaska's best interest? If by Alaska, you mean Sarah Palin, then some say the answer is "yes!"

Think McCain is getting hosed in the press? Well aren't you ... correct! A study shows there are more negative stories about McCain. This explains why and it's not what you think.

ABC's asking you not to watch Obama's 30-minute broadcast tonight. Because they missed the deadline to sell the ad space to the Democrat's campaign. But they're acting all haughty about it.

Things are a little icy between McCain and his running mate. Does that explain why Joe the Plumber is out saying stuff like "a vote for Obama is a vote for the death of Israel." Man, that McCain's real good at sussing out experts on international politics!

In a bit of counter-intuitive news: Wall Street had its second-best day ever.

In some "think big picture" good news: the slowing economy and credit crunch means fewer credit card offers junking up your mail box!

Nebraska plays refugee camp to yet another abandoned teen, this time a 15-year-old. Parents of teens have until January to get their kids to a Nebraska hospital, since alarmed legislators have amended the law to include only newborn infants up to three days old.

Finally, the melamine milk contamination disaster in China isn't over. Even worse, they're finding the protein substitute in eggs now too. Just yuck.

Photo: HuffPo

Morning News: Malia Obama Tells Dad 'Don't Mess With My TV'

Madeline Holler — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:00:00 GMT

Michelle Obama was on the Tonight Show last night and she told Jay Leno how Malia, Barack Obama's 10-year-old daughter, isn't the least bit interested in Dad's campaign. Except when it interrupts her own life.

Michelle explains in the clip how their girl reacted when she heard her father would be airing a 30-minute broadcast on all the major networks.

BTW: Michelle is wearing J. Crew, an outfit she bought online with her own money. We can't tell whether she accessorizes to Elisabeth Hasselbeck's liking. Read more for a behind-the-scenes anniversary celebration and an update on Obama's ailing grandmother "Toot."

We're not sure where Cindy McCain got her above-the-knee bathrobe or who paid for it, but we're feeling naked for her. Why? (1) She's wearing it in several pictures on her daughter's fun but cautious blog and (2) Senator Lindsey Graham is also in the room. Then again, we're kind of a prude, so nevermind.

We have a short, and, truthfully, icky Daily Palin: The West Hollywood residents who hung an effigy of Sarah Palin by a noose won't be charged with a hate crime, though they have created quite an uproar with their violent Halloween decorations. We were looking forward to all the Palin family costumes this year (raise your hand if you're pregnant and going as Bristol!), but this seems like too much. Especially in light of neo-Nazi's getting busted for plotting to assassinate Barack Obama. And for someone shouting the racial epithet during a Sarah Palin rally. And all the Muslim bashing. And the pre-hysteria that seems to be simmering just under the surface of this long and weird election. Palin on a noose feels beneath humanity. What do you think?

Happy thoughts: call center workers in Indiana walked off the job, collectively refusing to read an "incendiary" McCain campaign script that said, among other things, Obama coddles criminals and is against protecting children.

A jury found Alaska Senator Ted Stevens guilty of all seven charges of lying on disclosure statements. It's a rare conviction of a sitting U.S. Senator (especially such a popular one). Stevens says he'll continue the battle to hold on to his Senate seat. Interestingly, as a felon he won't be able to vote for himself.

Take a look at these numbers and you have to wonder why Stevens just didn't buy his own massage chair. The collective wealth of Congress grew 13 percent last year. In fact, two of every three senators is a millionaire (including both presidential candidates).

Two of every three Americans are not millionaires. Or even comfortable financially right now. Apparently 92 percent of those surveyed are even losing sleep over this global financial crisis. What about you?

This is gross and alarming: Kids in the U.S. are being treated for kidney stones. It's no longer unusual to see a 5- or 6-year-old with them, doctors say. Why the increase? Salt, people, salt!

Breaking News -- Obama Assassination Plot Thwarted

Palin's Had Enough of the Clothes (and John McCain!)

Video: NBC.com

Morning News: Palin's Had Enough of the Clothes (and John McCain!)

Madeline Holler — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:00:00 GMT

Republican BFF Elisabeth Hasselbeck hit the campaign trail over the weekend and, for once, got to deliver the GOP message without getting interrupted by her co-workers.

Daily Palin: Hasselbeck calls the focus on Sarah Palin's wardrobe expenditures "deliberately sexist" and then says Sarah Palin "sure is a woman who knows how to dress." And accessorize. Liz's evidence?

A flag pin, which is not in the expense report, because it's priceless. Mmmkay ... huh? Liiiiiiz, as long as it's free or priceless or whatever, it doesn't have to show up in the expense report.

Anyway, McCain says the cost to outfit his running mate isn't nearly $150K. More like, $100K, because they're returning a bunch of the stuff. (Fine. File the receipts.)

Now, McCain didn't say what the true cost of Palin is to his campaign, but his aides aren't holding back. Top level advisers are saying Palin's gone rogue. Following Hasselbeck's wardrobe comments, Palin explained to the crowd that the clothes weren't her property. A McCain campaign aide said (we can only imagine with slumped shoulders and shaking head) that those "were not the remarks we sent to her plane this morning."

That maverick thing is biting the original maverick in the ass. So while John McCain's political future implodes, Palin is trying to preserve hers for 2012, insiders say, right before they call her a diva.

Salon calls her the ultimate reality TV star (which brings us full circle back to Elisabeth!).

In Florida over the weekend, Palin criticized Barack Obama and the media and said the "coronation is already set." Wait ... she knows we don't do that in the U.S., right?

Incidentally, her hometown paper, the Anchorage Daily News, made its endorsement yesterday. They picked Obama. (Awkward.)

Some polls are reporting that Obama's lead over McCain has dropped five points (they credit the fact that McCain actually started talking about the economy). Nonetheless, some are reporting the Illinois senator will makes his closing arguments today in Canton, Ohio.

It might not matter what the polls -- or the voters! -- say. Salon's Machinist blog reports a bunch of screwed up ballots cast during early voting. The machines are vote-flipping. So if you cast your ballot for Obama, it's going to McCain (or the Green party).

In happy news, Amy Poehler had her baby, live from New York on Saturday Night! Actually, it's kind of sad news, because she's not going back to SNL. But, wait, there's another bit of happy: she and husband Will Arnett named the boy a Morning News approved Archie Arnett. Awwwwwww.

Video: YouTube.com [via The Page]

Palin's Makeup Stylist Gets Highest Pay in Campaign

Madeline Holler — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 17:28:00 GMT

We're getting closer to figuring out the bottom line of Sarah Palin's style budget. We all wanted to know where the $150K has gone.

Well, a nice chunk of it has gone to Amy Strozzi, Palin's traveling makeup artist.

In fact, she's the highest paid person now on the McCain-Palin campaign team! (Yes, that includes McCain's foreign policy adviser and a senior communications staffer. No wonder McCain gets to claim higher paid female staffers than the Obama-Biden camp.)

According to the NY Times, Strozzi was paid $22,800 for the first two weeks of October. Her payment is classified as “Personnel Svc/Equipment.” Indeed!

During that same period, Palin's hair stylist got $10,000 (and isn't she going to get pissed when she reads about Strozzi's salary?).

The hairstylist, Angela Lew, works out of the same salon in Thousand Oaks as Cindy McCain's hair stylist. Didn't you kind of know Cindy was behind all this expensive couture outfitting and face-/hair-styling?

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Salvation Army Says: We'll Take Palin's Clothes!

Campaign Dream Team: Sarah and Liz!

Photo: NYTimes.com