Strollerderby : dad

When we tell our children to "just say no," we mean recreational drugs. The kind Michael Phelps is into. (Cheap shot, I know. Sorry.)

But what about drugs we get from reputable sources? Like the dentist?

I'm talking, of course, about… laughing gas.

Here's video of David, a 7 year old whose father taped his dopiness whilst he, David, was doped up after a visit to the dentist, and posted said video on YouTube.

Maybe Dad can release this on DVD. That would help to pay for the therapy bills when David gets older.

Source: Nerve

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Kindergartner Gets Best Birthday Present EVER

JeanneSager — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:34:00 GMT

I pride myself on being a pretty good gift giver - at least when it comes to my kid. But I can't top Casey Hurles.

The Army specialist came home from Iraq, then let his family wrap him in a box and cart him to son Gabriel's elementary school.

While Gabriel chowed down on cupcakes with his classmates, Casey sat quietly in the box, waiting. When he finally tore off the bright balloon-covered wrapping paper, the kindergartner jumped back and yelped - but it didn't take too long to recover.

The Nevada six-year-old hadn't see his dad since June when Spc. Casey Hurles left for his second tour of duty in Iraq. When Hurles realized his leave would fall right in line with his son's sixth birthday, he hatched a plan that's been four months in the making. Returning home, he had to hide out at his parents' house to make sure the surprise wouldn't be ruined.

Watching little Gabriel burrow his face in his Dad's chest, returning again and again for more hugs, might bring on the waterworks (it did for me), so grab the tissues before you watch!

Now isn't that the best birthday present a kid could get?

Image/Source: Nevada Appeal

Bush Twins to Obama Girls: Remember Who Your Dad Really Is

KeriF — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 19:32:00 GMT

I'm no fan of former (yay!) President Bush, and as much as the "liberal media" might agree with me, it's important to remember that Bush is someone's daddy.

That's what this letter from Jenna and Barbara Bush to Sasha and Malia Obama reminded me. That every time someone hurls an insult at Bush or calls him names, his daughters are right there reading it in the newspaper or watching it on TV. (I'd wager that the Bush twins gave up on The Daily Show a long time ago.)

Of course, you could argue that if Bush weren't such a… well, whatever you think of him, this wouldn't be a problem. When you become president, you give up a certain amount of privacy (okay, you give up all privacy). And you give up a certain amount of your kids' privacy as well. And you open yourself up to criticism from, well, from everyone in the world.

But it sounds like the kids get a lot in return. Here's an excerpt from the Bush twins' letter to the Obama girls about their experiences in the White House, both as granddaughters of the first President Bush and as daughters of the second; the full text can be found here.

When we played house, we sat behind the East sitting room's massive curtains as the light poured in illuminating her yellow walls. Our seven-year-old imaginations soared as we played in the enormous, beautiful rooms; our dreams, our games, as romantic as her surroundings. At night, the house sang us quiet songs through the chimneys as we fell asleep. In late December, when snow blanketed the front lawn, all of our cousins overtook the White House. Thirteen children between the ages of two and 12 ran throughout her halls, energized by the crispness in the air and the spirit of the season. Every room smelled of pine; the entire house was adorned with thistle; garlands wound around every banister. We sat on her grand staircase and spied on the holiday dancing below. Hours were spent playing hide-and-go-seek. We used a stage in the grand ballroom to produce a play about Santa and his reindeer. We watched as the National Christmas Tree was lit and admired the chef as he put the final icing on the gingerbread house.

But what really choked me up was their closing paragraph:

And finally, although it's an honor and full of so many extraordinary opportunities, it isn't always easy being a member of the club you are about to join. Our dad, like yours, is a man of great integrity and love; a man who always put us first. We still see him now as we did when we were seven: as our loving daddy. Our Dad, who read to us nightly, taught us how to score tedious baseball games. He is our father, not the sketch in a paper or part of a skit on TV. Many people will think they know him, but they have no idea how he felt the day you were born, the pride he felt on your first day of school, or how much you both love being his daughters. So here is our most important piece of advice: remember who your dad really is.

George W. Bush may not have been the best president, but to two girls, he's the best dad.

Jersey Dad Fakes His Own Son's Death for Money

JeanneSager — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 18:32:00 GMT

By all accounts, it was a parental nightmare. Anthony Myers Sr. told a New Jersey life insurance agent he'd lost his seven-year-old son to a fatal asthma attack. Are tears pricking in the corners of your eyes yet?

Don't bother. The boy is now ten and lives in North Carolina with his mother. His dad? Will have to spend five years on probation and likely cough up his own cash.

The elder Myers admitted in court this week to falsifying his son's death in 2006 to get his hands on a $25,000 life insurance policy. He didn't get ahold of the money - investigators caught wind of his lie before any checks were cut. Now the state is pursuing civil penalties of $5,000.

A New Jersey insurance fraud prosecutor told the New Jersey Star Ledger this type of fraud is rare - parents don't usually fake their own kids' deaths. Uh, maybe because it's sick? There's nothing a parent dreads more than the loss of a child; it's against the natural order for a kid to go first.

Last year a New Jersey woman did fake her own death - later posing as her daughter to try to collect the insurance money, but an actual child wasn't involved in the case. Not excusing her actions, either, but it's one thing to pretend YOU are dead. Pretending your kid is dead? That's just playing with karma.

Looks like Myers found out karma always comes back and bites you in the ass.

Image: Hacked Gadgets

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Working Parents Smackdown Part 2 – Dads With Jobs vs Moms With Jobs

Brett Singer — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Part 2 of Working Parents Smackdown (read Part 1 here). This time we focus on the workplace:

When men work late, they're just doing their jobs. Women are neglecting their children.

Women are often made to feel guilty about working late, sometimes by their spouses. Men probably are too but it seems like its easier to avoid.

Women who work risk "emasculating" their husbands. "Femininasculating" isn't even a word.

The "Mommy Wars" are definitely a thing. There are no "daddy wars."

If a woman works "outside the home" and has children, people ask "how does she do it?" If a man works, no one ever says "outside the home", and nobody wonders how they do whatever "it" is.

No matter what, mom is the first point of contact for any school issues. That's not to say I have a problem with that but that's what I see happen. This includes general PTA-type matters, actual issues such as coming to pick the kid up due to illness, and of course Mom's Night Out. (Note: I am NOT angling for an invite to Mom's Night Out. I vastly prefer Dad's Night In, especially when there is a football game on.)

These aren't necessarily sexism or something-ism. It's more of an assumption of gender roles. Which is technically sexism. But it doesn't feel quite as insidious as, say, discrimination in the workplace. Of course, these assumptions can easily translate into more dangerous actions in a job setting, such as when a woman is passed over for a promotion because her boss assumes that she will eventually leave her job to have children. So maybe it is the same. I don't know.

I do know that the last time my friends teased me for being a stay at home dad (who, for the record, works) I was able to silence them by saying, "Have fun at the office on Monday, guys." Haven't heard any teasing since then.

Last word: I find it infuriating when anyone gives a woman a hard time for being a primary caregiver. (Although I use the term frequently, "staying home with the kids" is kind of a silly term once the rugrats are old enough to go to school or even daycare.)

Last word number two: Feelings of emasculation are in the brain of the man. That doesn't mean that the feelings are invalid, nor does it mean that there aren't women who can be cruel and try to make their menfolk feel small. But often the issue is in the guy's head. (It was with me; that's a topic for another time.)

Last word number three: I hereby vow to look up the meaning of the word "last".

Image: edmbookstore.com

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Store Refuses To Make Cake for Toddler Adolf Hitler

Kelly Mills — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:31:00 GMT

Oh, the hardships of being a white supremecist. Heath and Deborah Campbell tried to get ShopRite and a local grocery store to make a birthday cake for their three-year-old, named Adolf Hitler. And they actually wanted the cake to say "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler" (I guess just using "Adolf" was out of the question, hmmm?) But apparently they are so persecuted that the stores refused, though the grocer did offer to leave room for their own inscription. The story has some awesome quotes, like Deborah lamenting how sad it is the store can't make a cake for a kid, and Heath saying, "Other kids get their cake. I get a hard time. It's not fair to my children. How can a name be offensive?"

Um, yeah. I have no idea. Oh, and believe it or not, ShopRite won't make a cake for their two-year-old either. Her name? JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. Oh boy. By the way, Wal-Mart is willing to do the cake.

A psychologist quoted in the story says he believes the names will cause problems for the kids later in life. Hmm, ya think? But he also points out that the parents' views are kinda likely to damage the kids too. Oh, and that any problems they face in school later "would be icing on the cake." Get it? Icing? Riiiight.

Of course Adolf and siblings live in a house decorated with swatstikas, but the Campbells insist the swatstika "doesn't really have a meaning. It's just a symbol." Just a name, a symbol, and a few kids who are gonna have a rough road. Seems like an inscribed cake might be the least of it.

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Working Parents Smackdown Part 1 - SAHD vs SAHM

Brett Singer — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Definitions:
SAHD = Stay at home dad
SAHM = Stay at home mom

I've been thinking about some of the differences between these two types of parents. (See also Part 2, Dads With Jobs vs Moms With Jobs.)

Now:

At a party, SAHDs are asked, "What do you do?" SAHMs are not.

If a woman chooses to be a SAHM, she is:
- a lazy throwback
- not fulfilling her potential

If a man chooses to be a SAHD, he is:
- making a sacrifice
- taking a break from work

Men who stay home are doing something great for their wife and children. Women are just, you know, doing what they're supposed to do.

SAHMs are "homemakers." SAHDs are "musicians."

Men who stay home with their kids are special and unique. Women are ordinary and perhaps even bad for their gender.

To sum up: women, whatever you do, you are wrong. If you work, you suck. If you stay home, you suck. Guys: whatever you do, you're OK! Rock on! Write that novel! Play that funky music, SAHD!

I'm exaggerating somewhat, but I'll put it out to the crowd. Am I exaggerating? If so, how much?

Image: theonlymanofthehouse.com

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Announce Your New Addition With Panties: Male Perspective

Brett Singer — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 02:00:00 GMT

Sometimes they make it too easy.

This product pitch came in via email with the subject line, "Now this is one way to break the news!!" Let's lapse into cheeseball marketing mode for a moment:

Hey gals! Are you looking for a creative way to tell your hubby that you've got a bun in the oven? Well have we got a product for you!

Moody Mamas has introduced a product that's certain to take the edge off of the news that he's no longer the most important person in the house! He likes ice cream, right? Well, our Strawberry Storkcake and Feelin' Illa Vanilla may LOOK like ice cream cartons – but they're not! They're empty! Except for a pair of super-sexy panties! That's right – PANTIES! Because nothing says "We're having a boy" like the words "It's a boy" emblazoned on your nether region!

OK, I’m back now. Sorry about that.

Here's a more straightforward description: a fake ice cream container. You get your choice of Strawberry Storkcake or Feelin' Illa Vanilla (get it? Because you'll be feeling ill soon). When your husband opens it up, he doesn’t see ice cream – he sees panties. Panties that say, "It's a boy" or "It's a girl." On the front and on the back. You know, in case he misses the subtlety of it all.

Come to think of it, the straightforward description isn't any better.

The pitch we received promises that "it will take him a minute to figure it out!" which is probably true if he is (a) really really dumb or (b) not that dumb but doesn't understand what the hell you're doing. They also suggest that moms-to-be could "get right to the point and model a pair for him..trust me- he'll be surprised!" I imagine he would be. Just not in a good way.

The packaging is about as funny as an "I'm not as think as you drunk I am" t-shirt. Here are the ingredients of the Feelin' Illa Vanilla: "Big Belly Bombshell, 25%; Hungry Hottie, 25%; Queen of Quease, 25%; Growing Goddess, 25%." Here's an image of the label:

I take it back. The t-shirt is funnier.

I imagine that a woman could even be a little offended by this. "Queen of quease"? (For a female perspective, check out Jeanne's post.) I have no problem with off-color or inappropriate humor, but this isn't funny. As for the sexy factor, it doesn't do it for me. I'm all for spicing up a marriage. But what's wrong with just, you know, telling your spouse? I suppose this is more "creative". Kinda.

If you want to order one of these products, click here. However, the Moody Mama web site doesn't seem to agree with the PR message we received. You can buy the It's A Boy Undie ("Low rise (under belly) modal maternity undie with soft lace trim, bow accents; diamond appliqué; sold unpackaged,") here. The Stork-Cake faux-ice cream container is here, but seems to include only a generic "mama undie." I tried to figure it out for you but my head started to hurt. Who came up with this idea?

But hey -- maybe I'm missing something. Is it "hot" to combine news of a birth with tacky undergarments? Am I missing the hilarity and genius of the entire endeavor?

Here are a few images to help you decide. I highly recommend enlarging them to full-size. Provided you can stand to look at them. The butt shots are particularly funny/scary/disturbing/tell me what word you would use.

Images: MoodyMamas

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Dying Dad Gets Extra Time Thanks to Mystery Donor

JeanneSager — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:27:00 GMT

Finally, a bit of news that reminds us hedge fund managers are people too (the NASDAQ be darned). A mystery manager here in the states has ponied up the cash to fund the cancer treatments for a British father denied care by that country's National Health System.

Jack Rosser knows he will die, but thanks to the mystery donor, he may have as much as several extra years to spend with his toddler daughter.

OK, commence weeping. I know I shed a tear or two at this story, not least because the Rosser's diagnosis with an aggressive cancer of his kidneys came just days after little Emma was born. The Rossers should have been celebrating new life; but they were staring death in the eyes.

Rosser was told he probably had two years left, unless he began treatments with Sutent, a cancer drug which costs three thousand pounds a month (currently about $4,450). The medicine would give him extra time, but it couldn't save his life. It wasn't enough of a benefit for the British National Health System. The government told Rosser the treatment was off the table. Attempts to get him into a clinical trial were out too - he was told his cancer wasn't advanced enough. He'd have to accept death . . . and leaving his wife and daughter sooner rather than later.

When his story was highlighted by a group working to fight for cancer patients denied life-lengthening care (and highlighted by Bloomberg late last month), the man identified only as a hedge fund manager from the states stepped forward. He'll pay for the fifty-seven-year-old Rosser's treatments, he said, as long as he needs them.

"It's been such a fight and all I can say is thank you. He's given my daughter the opportunity to get to know her dad," Jenny Rosser told Sky News this week.

Perhaps someone could remind the National Health System - and nasty American HMOs - that sometimes the decisions they're making aren't about that one patient, but the lives around them too. A few extra months for a little girl to get to know her father can make a world of difference in her life.

Oh, and while you're at it, could someone pass me a Kleenex?

Image: Sky News

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Man Forced to Pay Child Support for Another Man's Child

JeanneSager — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 14:37:00 GMT

All Walter Andre Sharpe Jr. did was sign for a certified letter. Considering the addressee was Andre Sharpe - not far off - could you blame him?

A judge in Pennsylvania did. He made Walter Andre Sharpe Jr. liable for child support for a little girl who's real father was Andre Sharpe. When Walter Sharpe couldn't keep up with the payments to support a child that wasn't even his? The state threw him in jail.

Walter Andre Sharp Jr. ignored the letter once he realized it wasn't really meant for him. The father of four from a previous marriage already paid child support to his ex-wife. But when neither he nor the real Andre Sharp showed up at a child support hearing to answer the letter, a judge put the onus on Walter Sharpe. He authorized Walter's wages be garnished - to pay not only new charges but more than $5,000 in back support. That was 2001.

Walter Sharpe applied several times for a paternity test to prove he wasn't the girl's father, but he was denied each time. Between 2001 and 2005, Walter Sharpe landed in jail for four separate six-month terms for falling behind on payments to support the little girl. He finally lost his job in 2005, but it would take another two years before the paternity order would be overturned. But as recently as two months ago, the state has still been denying him compensation for the $12,000 subtracted from his pay and sent the way of the real Andre Sharpe's baby mama's mother, the little girl's grandmother. Ironically, the real Sharpe says he's always supported his daughter. In fact, she's lived with him for the past four years.

The district attorney is finally investigating, but the president of the county where this happened is still putting at least a portion of the blame on Walter Sharpe, essentially for not being more proactive.

Since when should a man have to be more proactive in expecting NOT to pay child support for someone else's child? I admit there are plenty of deadbeat parents out there - and they deserve to be hunted down and made to support the child they helped create. HOWEVER, when a guy asks for a paternity test, a paternity test is in order. Who could really lose here? If the result is positive, the judge has even more support behind him or her in making a decision. If it's negative, well, you save a guy $12,000 and four years of his life spent in prison for a crime that he really couldn't have committed. Because how could you fail to pay child support you never owed in the first place?

Image: About

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Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 22:30:00 GMT

I can't believe I'm saying this, but on Day 4 of my post-election elation, I think I may be started to get fully satiated with hope and change. I'm not sure I can stand weeping one more friggin' tear of joy. Still, I can't help myself from sharing some of the sweetest baby photos I have ever seen. That they happen to be of the Obamas' daughters, Sasha and Malia, is almost beside the point. These girls are just too precious. And seeing photos of a First Family exhibiting such genuine closeness and joy is pretty inspiring.

The Huffington Post has posted slideshows of 10-year-old Malia and seven-year-old Sasha growing up in the political limelight over the last four years. They will be the youngest kids in the White House since JFK's presidency. Here a few highlights:

Photos: Huffington Post

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