Strollerderby : child care

California Daycare Closed; Worker Was Mocking Kids' Genitals

Kate Tuttle — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:30:00 GMT

According to police reports, the owner-operator of a home daycare repeatedly pulled down the pants of the children in her care so that she and other adults could comment on the size and shape of their genitalia. In addition, the owner, Suzanna Best of the badly misnamed Best Family Child Care Home, let one child, a developmentally disabled girl, sit in urine-soaked clothes for several hours; another time, Best washed the child with a garden hose after she had pooped in her pants.

The report can be found by clicking through from the news article. It makes for interesting, if terrifying reading. Beyond the sexual abuse, Best was also violating state law by caring for more children than her license allowed (and had even planned for it by showing the children an "escape route" to follow in case the authorities ever came to inspect), and hired workers without conducting a criminal background check.

California's Departmet of Social Services is now investing the daycare, located in San Bernardino County. But for parents everywhere, this is one of those "worst nightmare" scenarios that can make you question your own daycare situation, wherever it is. Despite all the state licensing and inspections, it's still possible to find out you've put your kids into the daycare from Hell. Asking the right questions when you're choosing a daycare helps -- unannounced visits help even more.

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Twenty-Year-Old Kidnapping Solved

Does Your Daycare Have Night Hours?

JeanneSager — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:30:00 GMT

The average daycare closes its doors by 6 p.m. at the latest, but the average worker is putting in a lot of after hours. So where are their kids going?

If they're lucky, to one of the twenty-four hour daycares popping up in recent years. Places like Children's Choice in Dallas have seen spikes in attendance with the economic downturn, even while other daycares around the country are losing customers. Parents are taking on second jobs after the nine-to-five shift or picking up shifts they might not have opted for in the past because a job's a job - no matter the time.

According to the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies, a quarter of the nation's eleven million kids in thirty-six hours of daycare per week are in an arrangement strung together by their parents because they can't find any one place that meets their needs. Quitting a job to stay home - especially in this economy - isn't an option for these parents. In twenty to twenty-five percent of the dual-earning families, the mothers are the primary breadwinners.

What's most interesting is these kids don't have altered schedules like their parents. They eat dinner before heading off to nighttime daycare, they take a bath and get into their jammies. Then they're dropped off at the center. They sleep through the night right in the daycare center while their parents are at work.

Would this work for you? Or would you prefer to have the night with your kids?

Image: My Sweet Dreams Baby

Boys Can Babysit Too

Amy Kuras — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:31:00 GMT

When you think about giving the neighbor kid a call to babysit, are you thinking of a girl or a boy?

Most of us are thinking about a girl. There are lots of reasons for that – we certainly sill see childcare as women’s work, and some of us just don’t trust males around our children, which is sad. There’s still an outdated notion that a man who takes interest in children who aren’t his has some sort of creepy motive, when people don’t generally think the same about females.

Which is too bad for all the teen boys out there who would make fabulous sitters. Certainly on my husband’s side of the family where all the nieces and nephews except ours are in their teens and 20s, it’s the boys who are most likely to be holding or playing with our kids and if any of them lived closer, we’d be hiring them for child care regularly. And my dad iss as likely to take care of my kids as my mom is.

That’s why I liked this story about a group of Boy Scouts getting babysitter training from the Red Cross as part of a badge program. It’s the same certification that girls receive,, and qualifies them to babysit for younger kids. Unlike other classes, though, this one was all-male, which gave the boys a chance to see that they were not alone in being interested in caring for kids.

They learned how to change diapers, feed babies and market themselves to parents.

How do you feel about boy babysitters? Are you fine with it, or do you feel more comfortable with girls?

Report Finds Individualistic Culture Harms Kids—Because It Leads to Working Moms

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:00:00 GMT

A three-year study by a British charity called the Children’s Group has uncovered some unsurprising problems with individualistic culture. The report, called A Good Childhood, found that children are suffering from “a belief among adults that the prime duty of the individual is to make the most of their [sic] own life, rather than contribute to the good of others."

Thanks to a me-first culture, the study contends, people are more accepting of excessive materialism and widespread economic inequality that leaves millions of children in poverty; are unfazed by harmful advertising aimed at children; and see school as a place to compete rather than make friends and have fun.

This all makes sense to me. What boggles my mind is the solution proposed by the study’s authors: keep women in the home. According to the report, “excessive individualism” has lead women to get all uppity, believing they should take on paid jobs other than child-rearing and housecleaning. This is bad for children because clearly all working moms neglect their kids. Plus, women now have the freedom to break up families with their selfish desire to end unhappy marriages.

The study’s authors write: “Women's new economic independence…has made women much less dependent on their male partners, as has the advent of the welfare state.” Hold on a second here. I thought this report signaled the need to have compassion for others, which would mean supporting welfare for needy families and other government programs that help the less fortunate succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the little problem with the assumption (which I thought died circa 1950) that women should be dependent on men for all their basic needs. This way, even if men are physically abusive or alcoholic or can’t hold down a job, women would not be able to divorce them since they would have no means of caring for themselves. This would be good for kids, because divorce is an evil that must be smote out.

Oh, did I mention that the study’s authors have ties to the Church of England?

Image: phawker.com

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 2: The Pros)

Cole Gamble — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Alright, time to get to the good parts about becoming a stay-at-home mommy or daddy:

Childcare is Monstrously Expensive

Our childcare cost over $1,800 a month. For some folks, going to work and paying for child care is nearly a break even proposition. Essentially you work for the privilege to send your kids to childcare so you can work. When you do the numbers you need to consider whether the salary you draw makes it financially worthwhile. And I don't mean if your job pays $5 more a month than child care costs you should go to work. You shouldn't put kids in childcare unless the money you're going to make if significantly greater. Otherwise, why bother?

You are A Consistent Care Provider

At daycares and preschools, staff will come and go. Your child can get easily attached to a teacher and then-poof!-they're gone. You, on the other hand, will always be around (unless there is something you're not telling me). Having that safe sense of consistency helps create a nurturing environment for your kid.

You Won't Miss a "First"

One of the more depressing things about putting kids in childcare is you'll likely miss out on your kids' firsts. The first time your baby laughs. The first steps she takes a step. The first time she tells an off-color joke. There's a pretty decent chance you won't be around when these adorable moments happen.

You Find Work Stressful

There are parents who use staying at home as a good excuse to drop out of the rat race. If your job is making you miserable and you don't see any other opportunities that look better, staying at home can give you the sanity you desperately need.

Raising Your Child is More Fulfilling than Office Work

Once again, this is preferential. As I outlined in the cons section, some adults may feel a loss of satisfaction when they drop out of work. On the other hand, some adults find raising their kid far more gratifying than pushing paper.

And if you can afford it, you may find that staying home reduces your stress level. Many parents decide to stay home after trying unsatisfactorily to balance work and family. The long hours and the feeling of cutting too many corners results in feeling burned out. Staying home will give you more time to spend with your children, maintain your home, and help keep your family life running smoothly.

Epilogue: Nicole's Story

So how did my wife's stay-at-home mommying adventure go? In the end, Nicole discovered the stay-at-home mom thing wasn't for her. She grew too frustrated trying to work on the house or her resume with the kids bouncing off the walls. The kids' attitudes got out of whack as they were not getting the level of socialization, activity and learning they were accustomed to at school. So the kids went back to school and so did Nicole, she's now working on her Master's degree. Since leaving the stay-at-home life behind, Nicole found she actually gets more quality time with the kids because she's no longer as frustrated when she gets to devote a portion of her day to being an adult.

Choosing whether or not to stay at home with the kids is not a matter of how much you love your kids. It's a matter of what works best for your family. Every mother or father must make this choice at some point, and whatever choice you make will undoubtedly be made with what's best for the family in mind.

Go Back to Part 1: the Cons of Staying Home

More by this author:

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

Skinny Jeans for Little Boys?

Desert Island Disks – Kid Music Edition

Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

The Worst Baby Products Ever (Part I)

10 Things You May Not Know About Pregnancy (and might shock you)

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

No Good Choices in Child Care Debate

Amy Kuras — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 22:28:00 GMT

It’s a familiar paradox to every parent who works outside the home – childcare costs so much that sometimes it just makes more sense to stay home, even if that’s not what you would really prefer to do –and that’s if you can find a spot in a halfway decent center.

So I thought this brief blog post from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer’s Working Dad, Paul Nyhan, to be interesting. He stated that on average, child care center directors – that is, the people running the show – make 35 percent less than kindergarten teachers. You know the people who have the most direct contact with the kids make much less. And 17 percent of all family-owed child care centers have closed in the last five years.

Something like half of all kids are regularly in child care, he states – although I don’t know if that number includes just kids who are in full time daycare or those who go to Grandma’s every afternoon or preschool two mornings a week.

He points out a fundamental disconnect between supply and demand – that child care workers often don’t make a decent wage, but parents struggle to pay for it. I wonder why that is, although I have a few theories.

One is that child care has traditionally been women’s work, and we generally undervalue anything traditionally done by women, like teaching and clerical work and so on.

And I think it’s also a fundamental discomfort in this county with the idea of women’s economic power. There’s a strong cultural bias against middle class women who work outside the home if they have young children, but the feds mandate only a paltry three months unpaid maternity leave. Other countries offer one year, paid, minimum, so mothers of babies don’t have to go back to work right about the time they are beginning to feel somewhat good at the baby care gig.

All I know is, I envy my friends who have on site child care at their jobs, or free and loving grandma care. Because for the rest of us, the choices suck.

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 1: The Cons)

Cole Gamble — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Recently my wife went back to school and finished up a bachelor’s degree in psychology. She was thrilled. I was thrilled. Even the damn pets were thrilled. The party, however, ended abruptly when Nicole realized she was, with her still hot from the oven degree in hand, entering the most hostile job market in generations. That’s when she introduced an intriguing proposition. “Hey, how about I keep the kids at home for awhile? If I can’t get a job now, I might as well take them out of child care and be a stay-at-home mom.” This was coming from a woman who started her college career on an education degree track, but then realized she didn’t like kids. This was different though. These were our kids, and your own kids are always infinitely lovelier than other peoples’ kids.

Throughout Nicole’s stay-at-home adventure, we’ve learned a lot about her personality, our kids’ personalities and the realities of staying at home with kids. Here are some of the lessons we learned, starting with the cons. In part two we’ll cover the pros and at the end I’ll let you in on what eventually happened to Nicole and how staying at home (I've heard SAH parent is the term for those in the know) has worked out for her.

The Cons:

Loneliness

Workplaces feed you daily social interaction with adults that we probably all take for granted. Once their daily routine revolves around the kid(s), many stay-at-home parents find themselves isolated. Some turn their child into their best friend, which at times puts the child in a peculiar situation as mommy or daddy gradually engages Jr. in too grown-up talk.

Loss of Identity via Loss of Career

I personally try not to define myself by my work (there are just too many more important aspects of personality), but I cannot deny all of us in the workplace to some degree merge our work into our self-esteem and identity. When you break that source of identity off, you can definitely feel that loss. People also crave the positive feedback one gets from the workplace and approbation is not something you usually get out of a screaming toddler or diaper full of crap.

Hard to Get Back to Work

Many parents find it’s tough to rejoin the job market after a sustained sabbatical.

You Can’t Provide the Activity and Socializing a Good Day Care/Preschool Can:

Hey, you’re a super stay-at-home parent. You go above and beyond the call of duty; you’re a total parenting rock star. Nonetheless, you still can’t compete with a child care program when it comes to activities and socializing. Good programs jam pack your child’s day with fun and educational projects. Also, you can’t underestimate the value of exposing your child to their peers on a daily basis. Interacting with other kids is essential for a child’s emotional and intellectual development. Yes, you can get them out of the house and around kids at the park, but you probably can’t offer them a whole class of kids working, playing and learning together every day.

Loss of Income

Yep, you do save money on child care when you keep the kids at home, but more likely than not that saved money isn’t as much as the income you lose by extracting yourself from work.

How About Losing 1 Million Dollars?

That's the amount economists say the stay-at-home parent who relinquishes a career may lose about $1 million over the years., when you factor in benefits and pensions. Yee-ouch!

Housework and Child Care Can Be Boring and Frustrating

Okay, hold your tomatoes, don’t throw them just yet. I’m not saying parenthood is boring, I’m just saying the diaper changing and tackling endless loads of laundry can be tedious and wearisome. A lot of this is about personality. I know women (and guys) who gain a great deal of satisfaction from mopping the floor and wiping noses. But just because other parents enjoy it doesn’t mean you must as well. You have to be honest with yourself.

Okay, enough doom and gloom. Let’s move on to the positives of staying home.

Click here for PART 2: The Pros.

More by this author:

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

The Worst Baby Products Ever (Part I)

Desert Island Disks – Kid Music Edition

10 Things You May Not Know About Pregnancy (and might shock you)

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

How Taxes Stack Up

Amy Kuras — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:04:00 GMT

It's Tax Day, and you are either sweating out your tax forms at the last minute or you’ve already spent your refund and are smugly awaiting your stimulus payment. Or you’re like me, bleary eyed and cranky because you wanted to make sure you had an extra day to deal with problems and thus stayed up incredibly late last night.

Has I been snug in my bed right on time, though, I would still hate paying taxes to our current government and be extra pissy today because I had to. Especially after looking at this press release from the Council on Contemporary Families at the University of Illinois at Chicago. It lays out what family-friendly benefits US families get for their tax money versus what people in other industrialized nations get for their (admittedly higher) tax dollars. Check it out:

•   In Norway, parental leave allowance is 54 weeks at 80% pay or 44 weeks at 100% to be shared any way the parents wish, although the mother must take three weeks before birth and six weeks immediately after and the father must take five weeks off if they intend to use any leave (yes, must, not "if they have a sympathetic boss and can afford to, maybe"). Adoptive parents are eligible for 51 weeks off at 80% pay or 41 weeks at 100%.

•   In Greece, either parent can use up to 17 months of leave time, and receive an additional hour off per day until the child is 30 months old, or two hours per day for 12 months and one hour per day for the next six months.

•   In Belgium, free early childhood education is available to all children starting at the age of 2 1/2.

We couldn’t even deduct child care.
Sigh.

Madeleine McCann: Are You Thinking Twice Now About Hotel Childcare?

Karen Murphy — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 18:29:00 GMT

The story of the disappearance of Madeleine McCann from her parent's hotel room is by now a familiar one. The latest word has it that her parents have been absolved of any role in what happened to Madeleine, but it now leaves parents everywhere wondering what did happen. And for families who travel, there's something else: how much can you trust hotel child care?

I don't travel much with my kids these days, and when I was traveling a lot I wouldn't have considered hotel childcare as an option (that would have been a failure as a parent somehow in my eyes; isn't that crazy?), so I'm not the person to ask about this. But tons of parents rely on hotel childcare so they can get a bit of alone time or have a nice dinner in peace while the kids get enough sleep.

But a family travel website survey showed that the majority of parents surveyed would now be less likely to use hotel childcare services because of the Madeleine McCann story.

What about you? Will this affect your plans? How do you feel about hotel child care anyway?

Photo: caribbeanblog.canalblog.com

Bad Babysitter: The Other Worst Nightmare

Kelly Mills — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 20:02:00 GMT

As Karen pointed out in her post on the daycare that disciplined toddlers using tacks (pause to gag in horror), leaving your child in the care of someone else is a nerve-wracking proposition. Of course babysitters are included in that, and we've seen some wretched childcare stories. But when the babysitter is a relative, like say, the grandmother, it's ugh and more ugh. In this case, a grandma who thought the legal drinking age ought to be nine years old.

Well, actually it's worse than that. It's a grandmother who gave her nine-year-old granddaughter (and herself, natch) a tall glass of gin. Apparently she hoped the child would pass out so she could go out for the night instead of doing babysitting duty while the girl's mom was at work. An officer at the arrest (thank god) said "A lot could have happened with a kid left alone... A lot could have gone wrong. She could have choked on her vomit. ... This is a horrendous case of child endangerment." To which I say, "and then some."

Experts Say Using College Fund For Preschool is Money Better Spent

Karen Murphy — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 14:58:00 GMT

Here you've been squirreling away your nickels for your kid's eventual college tuition, and it turns out that early childhood development experts are suggesting that instead we focus on the first three years of life, saying that money spent then is money well spent indeed. The reason? An estimated 85% of brain development occurs during the first three years of a child's life, which are key to shaping the person that child eventually becomes. By pouring time, love, and energy into a child's first three years, we can greatly benefit and enhance that development, allowing our children the opportunity to truly live up to their potential.

Many countries around the world are no stranger to this concept, knowing that a child's behavior, emotions, social and intellectual skills can all be traced back to the formative years first three years. In Sweden for instance, the government provides support for families with young children so that a parent can stay home. While I don't expect that to happen in the U.S., at least not anytime soon, it's something to aspire to.

The biggest hurdle, however, is cultural attitudes about the relative worth of early childhood education and especially the educators themselves. Preschool teachers are paid a pittance and receive little respect especially when compared to post-secondary educators, although attitudes do seem to be improving. Still, it will take a huge shift in priorities and perception to overcome this and truly give early childhood education the attention it, and our children, deserve.

So what's a concerned parent to do? I mean, something we all aren't doing already? Because already, those who can stay home and play pattycake and get shunned from playgroups are doing so. And those who need to work because the family needs the income are doing so as well, and are finding the best possible child-care situations possible. I think, though, that raising the bar on what's available as "best possible" is a must. Too many parents are forced into choosing the least-objectionable child-care, and to me, to those parents, and to the children concerned, that's not good enough.

Is Day Care Really Bad For Kids?

JasonAvant — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 12:35:00 GMT

This is one of those stories that spreads like wildfire: the latest in-depth study reveals that kids in daycare are more likely to be problem kids when they reach elementary school. I have a tendency to raise a Spock-like eyebrow at such studies; even a layman like me can look at the data and wonder if the report accounts for variables, or if the media is merely focusing on a juicy part of the story to catch the reader's eye. I know - crazy talk.

Turns out I'm not the only one scratching his head at the validity of both the study and the media's take on it. I was all set to fire off a heated screed over what I think is a lazy effort by both the group conducting the study and the reporters who misrepresented the information, but Slate's Emily Bazelon beat me to it. Bazelon offers up an in-depth look at the real meaning behind the study, and asks some pointed questions of the study's author, Margaret Burchinal. I don't like spoilers (if someone had told me that Nikki and Paulo weren't really dead on last night's Lost, I'd have been pissed), but Burchinal drops a bomb of a quote. She says:

"I'm not sure we communicated this, but the kids who had one to two years of daycare by age 4½—which was typical for our sample—had exactly the level of problem behavior you'd expect for kids of their age. Most people use center care for one or two years, and for those kids we're not seeing anything problematic."

The rest of the article is eye-opening, and well worth your time. Like a lot of you out there, my kid's in daycare. We got lucky - his teachers are great, the center's affordable, and Lucas really seems to enjoy it. Still, we deal with enough bullshit from people who look down on us for putting our kid in a child care center. Although I hope more folks take a skeptical look at the spin being put on that study, those attitudes that will no doubt be reinforced by this example of bad journalism aren't likely to change any time soon.

5 Best Cities to Have a Baby

Karen Murphy — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 20:09:00 GMT

Say you're pregnant (or want to become pregnant), have unlimited funds and flexibility, and want to move to the U.S. city best suited for your and your baby's new lifestyle. What city would you pick? Fit Pregnancy spoke to The Today Show about their findings of a review of the 50 most populous cities in the country, and how they stacked up in terms of health care, safety, child care, affordability, birthing options, and fertility laws. Who made the list?

1. Boston. Awesome healthcare, and definitely the place to be if you need specialized prenatal care (and I hope you don't). Plus Boston has the best chowdah anywheah.

2. San Francisco. Well, duh. A healthy lifestyle makes for a healthy baby, plus it has high breastfeeding rates and is chock-full of fertility specialists. And the fried calamari? Yum.

3. Minneapolis. Three times the national average for the number of child-care providers? Wow! Plus it has lot of fertility clinics, specialty birthing options, and midwives and doulas. Something for everyone! And don't mind the cold in winter: there's a cool network of above-street Habitrail-style walkways that can get you all over downtown without setting foot in icy slush.

4. Portland. It's all about the nunnies, as we say in my house. Yeah, that. Breastfeeding. Portland's got the highest rate in the nation. Woot! And is jam-packed with midwives and doulas-a-plenty. If you have alternative leanings? Sounds like this is the place to be.

5. Omaha. Er, Omaha? That's in Nebraska, right? Well, I hear they have great steaks. Also? Affordable housing, access to daycare, and a Baby Friendly Hospital. Who knew? Hey, Omaha! You've been outed! (Get ready for the influx)

Although my personal favorite city, Boulder, wasn't mentioned (it's not one of the 50 largest cities), nearby Denver made #6. So there. Family-friendly bike trails, a wide variety of fresh and organic produce, lots of alternative birthing options, over 200 days of sunshine per year, and a gorgeous daily eye-feed known as the Rocky Mountains make this MY place to be. (Philadelphia, the city near where I'm presently ~~interred stuck~~ uh, living, is at almost the bottom of the list. Yeah, I knew that.)

[photo credit: UrbanInfant.com]

Strollerderby : child care

California Daycare Closed; Worker Was Mocking Kids' Genitals

Does Your Daycare Have Night Hours?

Smackdown: I Need a Time Out!

Is the Sitter Just There to Watch the Kids?

Earn Cash: Give the Kid a Normal Name

Should Schools Teach Kids Fiscal Responsibility?

Boys Can Babysit Too

Report Finds Individualistic Culture Harms Kids—Because It Leads to Working Moms

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 2: The Pros)

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

Skinny Jeans for Little Boys?

Desert Island Disks – Kid Music Edition

Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

No Good Choices in Child Care Debate

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 1: The Cons)

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

Desert Island Disks – Kid Music Edition

How Taxes Stack Up

Madeleine McCann: Are You Thinking Twice Now About Hotel Childcare?

Bad Babysitter: The Other Worst Nightmare

Experts Say Using College Fund For Preschool is Money Better Spent

Is Day Care Really Bad For Kids?

5 Best Cities to Have a Baby