Strollerderby : chicago

Chicago Doula Works With Poor Pregnant Teens

Miriam Axel-Lute — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:30:00 GMT

For all those tempted to think of a doula as a luxury who merely provides pampering, it's worth taking a little time to watch A Doula Story.

Loretha Weisinger, the subject of the documentary, a former teen mom herself, works with pregnant teens in a poor area of Chicago. She's really a combination of childbirth educator, doula, lactation consultant, and parenting educator, which is a hell of a job, but clearly a crucial one.

I keep remembering the moment where she takes a cell phone away from a new mom who's trying to breastfeed in the hospital in order to tell her boyfriend that, no, breastfeeding isn't "nasty." Or her careful explanation that she wasn't going to leave the delivery room until one of her "girls" was ready to hold her baby and got to do so. Or her repeated insistence that her girls actually talk to their babies, in utero and out.

It's not exactly a feel-good flick, as the lives of these girls, and Loretha herself, are hard. But it also shies away from what I came to realize, as I found myself tensing for it, must be a stock documentary habit of sticking a tragedy in somewhere around 2/3 of the way through. No deaths or horrendous confessions. Just the day-to-day work of trying to improve the lives of babies and parents.

(Hat-tip: Citizens for Midwifery)

More by this author:

VIDEO-Obama Kids Say DC Schools Are Wimpy

Brett Singer — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 23:30:00 GMT

That's not exactly what they said… well, actually it kind of is. And as a New York parent (formerly a New York kid) I think I even agree. (In a joking way, of course. More on that later.)

The President, during a light-hearted moment at a meeting with business leaders the other day (this was before he spoke out against Wall Street bonuses; I doubt the mood would have been so cordial if it was after that), made a comment about Sasha and Malia's school being closed:

"As my children pointed out, in Chicago school is never canceled. In fact my seven-year-old pointed out that you'd go outside for recess. You wouldn't even stay indoors. So, it's--I don't know, we're going to have to try to apply some flinty Chicago toughness."

In one of my first posts for Babble almost a year ago, I wondered if my children would ever have a snow day. The answer, sadly (sad for them, good for me), is that they may never experience the joy of "NO SCHOOL TODAY!" But while part of the reason could be global warming related, some of it is just that New York schools rarely close for weather.

Note: obviously, I don't really think that DC schools are wimpy, and I don't think the President does either. The President's comments were not warmly received by many in the DC area, but I really think he was making a joke. (Kind of like me saying "warmly" received. Get it? G'night, ladies and germs.) And of course it snows a lot more in other parts of New York State.

Also: I hate to keep repeating myself, but I'm still impressed at how at ease Obama seems to be, and how much like a "regular dad" he is. Granted, if his kids have to stay home from school, he's not the one who has to hang out and play board games with them. But he's not exactly removed from the situation either. He appears to be a parent who is involved with his kids. I like that.

Aside: what's the over-under on how many comments are left before someone posts something about Obama's birth certificate? One? Two?

Source: Politico

Paging NY State Education: It Snows There

Babble Podcast for January 26, 2009 (now with a working player)

VIDEO: O'Reilly Upset About Two Year Old Bashing Bush

Morning News - Obama, Limbaugh, Cheese

Sasha and Malia Get Bored

Obama Wants Kids To Have a Normal Life – Good Luck With That

Sasha and Malia Beanie Baby Dolls

Kid Cons Cops and Winds Up On Patrol

JeanneSager — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 13:06:00 GMT

I was waiting for the punchline in this, but I never found it.

A man walked into a police station and told the cops he had been sent over from another sector of the city. Except the guy the Chicago PD sent out on patrol for an afternoon shift with another officer wasn't a man at all; he was a fourteen-year-old wearing department-issue trousers and a shirt and hat.

The boy kept up the farce throughout the entire patrol; his "partner" never catching on. Now he's been charged with impersonating a police officer.

So he should be punished, I get that. But when one of the nation's biggest police departments suffers this kind of security lapse, shouldn't the brunt of the disciplinary action fall on the adults who screwed the proverbial pooch?

We're talking department-issue clothing that somehow got out on the street and into this kids' hands. We're talking about a civilian, and an under-age one to boot, spending an entire shift in a patrol car exerting his "authority" over the people of the City of Chicago; and the first one brought up on charges is the kid?

I'm sure eventually we'll hear that some heads have begun to roll, but a part of me wonders why it's always the kids in these situations who are dealt the harshest penalties? Yes, discipline them, but do we have to make them the scapegoats when we adults are the real boneheads?

Image: Reuters via Times Online

Sex Offender Wins Raffle that Benefit Rape Victims

School Has Autistic Child Arrested

Kid Sells Mom's Diamond Ring to Buy Comic Books

Mother Sues OB Who Said She "Deserved Pain"—And Gave It to Her

Miriam Axel-Lute — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Catherine Skol, former Chicago cop and mother of five, is suing her OB for abusive treatment during the birth of her fifth, nine months ago. If you've heard of the case, and the arguments that she's "just suing over rudeness" and should quit it because she's going to make malpractice rates go up, I suggest you go here, and read the details of the allegations.

I don't suggest you read it if you are pregnant and about to head into a hospital delivery however.

According to the suit, defendent Scott Pierce, who was filling in for the Catherine Skol's primary OB, was so incensed that she hadn't called him before heading to the hospital (an instruction her main OB had never given her) that he decided she "deserved" pain, refused an epidural, put her in intentionally painful positions, insisted she push before she was sufficiently dilated, kept telling her she was going to hemorrhage, wouldn't give her enough anesthesia before stitching her up and told her husband to "hold her down" instead, and talked loudly and crudely on a cell phone about an abortion in the room. There's more. It's truly astounding, in a nauseating kind of way.

(Confidential to "Linka" who called Skol a wimp for complaining about not getting her pain meds: I'm no fan of routine epidurals and had my kid with none, but I would never claim to know out of context when one was appropriate. And I'd like to see you get stitches for a severe laceration on your vulva without anesthesia, not mention all that other crap.)

As much as I've heard plenty of horror stories about OBs and their attitudes, I have to say that this is a category all its own, and sounds to me like the sort of extremely aggressive behavior that arises when people are on something illegal or are having, shall we say, certain brain chemical imbalances. Not that there aren't people out there who are just that awful, but they don't generally keep a job like doctor very long.

In fact, his behavior bothers me less than the commenters who say that because she and the baby are physically healthy, she should shut up and deal. Aside from being cruel, the behavior described was dangerous. If it's anything like she described, he should have his license revoked. People sue all the time for doctors failing to prevent problems they couldn't have prevented—that's one of the reasons our c-section rate (and malpractice insurance) is so high. Here's a case where the doctor was actually in the wrong rather than just getting the blame for a tragedy. This is what lawsuits are for.

Photo by Bloomsberries.

Related Posts:

Mom Says Hospital Fouled Childbirth—Twice

More by this author:

Chicago Kids Held in Hospitals, Jails Instead of Foster Homes

Miriam Axel-Lute — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Remember this next time you hear people arguing that we should limit who can take care of, or adopt, kids in need (or that we shouldn't build a group home in their neighborhood):

Investigations by the Chicago Tribune have found that some kids are being held in psychiatric wards, hospitals, and jails long past when they were supposed to be released because there is no where for them to go. Often when they are released, they are being sent to placements that don't meet the recommendations made for them (such as residential drug-treatment first or a home ready for special-needs kids).

These are tough-to-place kids, mostly teens, with multiple problems. But as the article so clearly points out, there are few ways to better ensure that someone's mental health and behavior issues don't get better than to essentially imprison them somewhere where they are no longer getting the services they need/serving the sentence they received. The investigation was sparked by a 14-year-old who had been in a mental hospital for 105 days, when doctors had cleared to leave after a couple weeks. She hadn't been outside or to school that whole time.

It's sad enough to not be able to find an adoptive home for a mentally ill teenager, but nowhere for her to go outside of the psych ward? That's seriously depressing.

Photo by Skelekitten.

More by this author:

Arne Duncan: Dunce or Great Pick?

Miriam Axel-Lute — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:04:00 GMT

Honeymoon? What honeymoon? People have been burning up the web debating the choice of Rick Warren to give the invocation at the inauguration, but not make any policy. Meanwhile, not nearly as much as been said about Obama's choice for the crucial position of Secretary of Education.

Maybe that's because, like me, people don't know what to think of Arne Duncan.

On the one hand, investigative journalist (and Obama supporter) Greg Palast says Duncan is a piss-poor choice, one of those businessman-turned-education-administrators who thinks that you can raise test scores in poor, underserved schools by firing the teachers there as punishment. Not to mention believing that "raising test scores" as such is the top priority. Palast thinks Duncan won't give us any change from the No Child Left Behind disaster, and snipes that the Obamas didn't trust their kids to Duncan (who was recently head of the Chicago schools).

On the other hand, this Harvard magazine profile describes his support of a range of non-test-crazy stuff like after-school programs, literacy, opening school buildings to the community, and engaging parents. He's also a supporter of LGBT safe-school initiatives and early childhood education. Of course, alumni profiles are not known for being critical.

Anyone out there with kids in Chicago public schools, or who follows education reform more closely, want to weigh in on this one?

More by this author:

High School Student in Hospital After Scavenger Hunt

Brett Singer — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:30:00 GMT

When I think of scavenger hunts, I think of summer camp, back when I was about 10. The tasks were, "find a blue rock." Maybe a spork.

Clearly I'm out of touch.

A group of students at St. Charles North High School in Kane County, Illinois, have their own scavenger hunt for the "Jackass" generation. Items on the list include "Getting kicked in the groin", "Pelting the elderly with muffins", and the ever-popular "Jumping from a moving car."

It was that last item that landed student Erik Nava in the hospital. The Chicago Sun-Times reports that he is "hospitalized in serious condition" after participating in what his fellow students describe as an "underground scavenger hunt". Local police say that "as many as 200 students" take part in this nonsense. They prove to their friends that they did the dumb stuff by taking video of the asinine acts, and then destroying the evidence. So they prove that it happened (taking the video), and also prove that they know it's stupid (destroying the video).

Sing it with me now – momma's, don't let your babies grow up to be buttheads…

Source: Chicago Sun-Times

Image: phiredup.com

Things You Should Never Say To A Nursing Mother

Seven Holiday Card-inal Sins

Schoolyard Angst Makes It to Book Form

Denis Leary Puts Autism Comments In Context

GPS Lingerie Upsets Some, Entices Others

Chicago Woman Lived With Dead Siblings For 20 Years

Brett Singer — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:00:00 GMT

I need to stop saying that I’m beyond being surprised. Because this story was definitely surprising.

CHICAGO (Reuters) - An elderly woman has been living with two skeletons and a badly decomposed body of her siblings in a suburb of Chicago, one of whom may have died at least 20 years ago, authorities said on Saturday.
The remains were found covered by sheets in various parts of the house in Evanston on Friday but no foul play was suspected.
Authorities said one of the siblings was last seen alive in the 1980s, the second in 2003 and the third in May.

The over 90-year-old woman was taken to "a facility"; I hope it was psychiatric in nature. What could possibly cause someone to keep decaying bodies and skeletons in their home? Very sad.

Source: Reuters

Image: Chicagoist, via Google Maps

Why Do People Still Hand Out Unwrapped Halloween Treats?

Woman Swings Crowbar At Trick Or Treaters

Mississippi Students, Postal Worker, Punished For Wearing Obama Shirts

Eliot Spitzer Cleared of Prostitution Charges

They Say: More Children Have Allergies

Jay Thomas Reunites With Out of Wedlock Son

Woman leaves toddler in car while she goes to a bar

Woman changes her name to Cutout Dissection.com

Chicago LGBT High School Update

Shannon LC Cate — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:00:00 GMT

The Chicago School Board is set to vote October 22 on the opening of 17 new schools, including the "School for Social Justice Pride Campus, according to the Tribune. The school has received the support of most public school system leaders in Chicago, who argue that research shows that lgbt students face a difficult time in high school, dropping out at a higher than average rate and missing school for fear of violence.

The debate still rages on the sidelines that if such a school is opened, it will ghettoize lgbt students, lightening the burden on all schools to make themselves safe for all students.

I can't help but still feel that such a school--with no more than 600 students drawn by lottery--would, rather than ghettoizing queer kids, give them a secure setting in which to learn the history of sexual minorities, find out about the kind of work being done to further queer liberation in our culture and from which to take strong youth leadership roles in the community. So many queer youth grow up in a vaccuum, not knowing the history of struggle for justice for "their" people and hearing themselves referred to only in perjorative ways.

A district that prioritizes the needs of these students so much as to open a campus to serve them specifically is making a statement about the value of these kids and their potential for unique contributions to society. I do hope that having the school in the district will make for more inclusive curricula in all the schools. With only 600 slots available at the Pride campus, plenty of queer kids will still find themselves mainstreamed into general student populations. And it's not only lgbt kids who need to learn about lgbt issues, it's the kids who toss "that's so gay" around without thinking.

Watch this space for an update after the vote in a couple of weeks.

Also on this topic:

LGBT "Magnet" Schools: Help or Hurt?

Divorcing in Chicago Now Cheaper!

Shannon LC Cate — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 23:27:00 GMT

Thanks to a city council vote against the mayor's wishes, transfer of real estate upon divorce will no longer be taxed in Chicago. According to the Chicago Tribune, "the cash-strapped city collects about $1.5 million a year from real estate transfers that occur as part of divorce settlements...But some aldermen said the Revenue Department shouldn't try to squeeze money from people at one of their lowest moments in life." Of course, if you need to transfer property after the break up of a non-legal union, you still have to pony up the tax money.

The deep-dark secret of legal marriage is that it's largely about divorce. As a twice-divorced friend of mine once said "when you get married, you enter into this contract. But you don't really know the details of what you've agreed to until you divorce." Some divorce law is helpful, some is hurtful. But the fact that a break up can be negotiated legally with third parties arbitrating fairness (however flawed) should be a comfort to people in legal unions. Without a legal union, there are no parameters for breakups either. Too often, whoever bullies the best wins.

LGBT "Magnet" Schools: Help or Hurt?

LilySea — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:44:00 GMT

The HRC reports that “A group of over 200 people met last week to discuss a proposal to open the city’s first high school for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth. The Social Justice High School Pride Campus would focus on core college-preparatory curriculum but cater to LGBT youth in the Chicago public school district. Critics fear that the school would allow district administrators to neglect the responsibility to make all schools safe for LGBT students."

I admit, I didn't think of the catch when I saw a similar headline on a local LGBT paper in a box on the corner. Regardless, I still think such a school, modeled on the Harvey Milk High School in New York, is a great idea. I once taught in an urban high school where, in spite of the presence of a popular out and proud gay vice principal, kids still threw around the usual “that's so gay/he's a fag/what a dyke” insults as freely as any other place I'd taught. Also in spite of the vice principal, every queer teacher in the school except me was deeply closeted. I was chastised more than once for being “too open” about my “lifestyle” by a supervisor with a poster-sized black-and-white photo of his shirtless self and his tank-top-clad wife hanging over his classroom where most teachers have a world map or a “say no to drugs” poster.

While I do believe every school should be safe for every student, properly organized and run, a magnet-type program for young queers and their allies could set a friendly tone for an entire school district while nurturing the next generation of leaders in queer freedom movements.

Best Place to Raise Kids Depends on What Kind of Kids You Want to Raise

LilySea — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 16:49:00 GMT

In June, an article in Forbes.com offered a top-ten list of the best places to raise kids. The article goes on about the process of selection, but in the end, it seems to add up to “uniformly white and middle-class” when you look closely at both the criteria and the final list. The article even suggests that proximity to shopping malls is a plus, because hanging out in them is important to teenagers' social development.

People in my former town used to say “but it's a great place to raise children!” after gripe sessions about the lack of diversity, over-abundance of fundamentalist churches or minimal opportunities for adventure. But I never agreed. I knew I wanted to raise my children in a city, and the “great place to raise kids” line always seemed to imply, “unlike a city where we adults might find many other things to enjoy but our children would suffer.”

It all depends on what parents want for their children.

Shopping malls aren't on the short list of what I want for my kids. What I do want is for them to feel that art, music and literature are theirs to make and own, not the special purview of a few special people. I want them to speak more languages than English and feel confident as global citizens. I want them to be just two more faces in a sea of friends without a dominant race or other social type. I want them to know that they aren't the only kids in the world with two parents of the same gender; or with parents of a different race than theirs; or who came into their families through adoption. I want Black adults in their lives to give them comfort in their own skin. I want somewhere interesting to go when there are 16 inches of snow on the playground and the wind-chill is negative five.

After their first two weeks in the city, my children have helped a professional artist with a piece for an upcoming show. They have met a dozen kids at the playground behind the loft where we're living and no two are in the same demographic. They have a French-speaking baby sitter and many Spanish-speaking friends and neighbors. They have a membership to the aquarium and have been there three times. There are two playgrounds within easy walking distance and an independent book store with a fabulous children's section and a weekly story hour across the street. True, the cost of living here is higher, but almost everything on that list is free.

When I opened the front door of the art gallery we are living above to a breathless young man introducing himself as “the drunken [expletive] that stole your bench last night” I was struck by how perfectly the event contained both the upside and the downside to living in an urban neighborhood. It seems the young man had a few too many and woke up with a new bench in his apartment. He recognized it as the bench the gallery owner keeps outside to accommodate the community of artists, art fans, neighborhood friends and homeless locals who gravitate towards her place.

I know that for some parents, the potential hazards of drunken revelers on the front steps is not worth the benefits of city life, but for my family, the limitless opportunities for reaching across difference and making friends out of those who might seem threatening at first glance, is more than a fair return for an occasional wandering piece of public furniture.

Best of FameCrawler: (Sad) Week of August 15th

Whit Honea — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Bernie Mac Memorial and Donations

Romeo Bending It Like Beckham

Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer - IT'S OVER!!!!

Bernie Mac Was Expected To Recover

Did Lil Wayne's Daughter Die?

Lil Wayne's Daughter Dies? Her Mama Says "No"

Not True? Lil Wayne's Daughter Did Not Die

Bernie Mac's Final Moments -Wife & Daughter By His Side

Brad and Maddox Hit The Track

People Disappointed with Brad and Angelina

Bernie Mac dies for real

Brett Singer — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:00:00 GMT

The Chicago Tribune is reporting that Bernie Mac died this morning at the age of 50. The cause was complications from pneumonia. He was admitted to Northwestern Hospital in Chicago to receive treatment for sarcoidosis, a rare autoimmune disease.

Weirdly, a viral text message that made the rounds last week caused many people to believe he was already dead. That was revealed to be a hoax.

I always liked Bernie Mac. His sitcom was somewhat unique in that he wasn't the father of the children he was raising; he took his sister's kids when she entered rehab. He also, if memory serves, was a stay at home "dad"; his wife worked as an executive I think, and he was a stand-up comic. (Thanks to the commenter for this correction. My point wasn't that he didn't work, but that he was a father who was home with the kids, which is still not the norm on TV.) Mac wasn't shy about threatening to smack the kids around, which some found controversial, but I thought it was (a) realistic and (b) funny. He also had some film success with appearances in the "Ocean's 11, etc." remakes, among other roles.

His most recent headlines came because of a joke he told during a Barack Obama fundraising event. Mac used the word "ho" and Obama told him he didn't like it.

On TV, Bernie Mac had no children of his own, but in real life he had a wife, daughter, and a grandchild. 50 is too young to go but at least he knew some success in his life. Funny guy, very sad.

source/photo: Chicago Tribune

Son stabs father over haircut

Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

Bernie Mac's Final Moments -Wife & Daughter By His Side

Should You Intervene When Strangers Hit Their Kids?

5 ways to get revenge on your kids

Man locks daughters in cage while he works

Savage stands by his stupid words

Man locks daughters in cage while he works

Brett Singer — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Can't get a sitter? Put the kids in a cage!

That's what Illinois resident Ricardo Gonzalez did. He put his daughters in a cage – yes, a cage – while he drove around and picked up scrap metal. A woman at a gas station heard one of the girls crying and called the police, who found Gonzalez in the driver's seat. "One of his daughters [was] in his lap while the other was locked up in the cage crying." Yow. The cage "was made from rope, metal fencing, wires and bungee cords" according to police. Gonzalez said that he and his wife couldn't afford day care, and he wanted to keep them safe.

Where's mom? She has a job as a dental assistant, where they don't allow cages. One of the kids told a Department of Children and Family Services investigator, "Please take [us to] my mother who is good with us."

Sheesh. Good for the samaritan who called it in, and hopefully this ends happily, or as happily as it can.

image: chicagotribune.com

Baby Cages: The 5 Baby Products that Should be Illegal

That's Sexy, Baby: 4 Mud Flap Girl Babywear Must-Haves

Man Rescues Abandoned Baby

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 16:42:00 GMT

In order to curb my misanthropic tendencies, I focus on stories like this one, in which someone’s bad deed is canceled out—or at least vastly alleviated—but someone else’s good one. In this case, the hero is a 25-year-old Chicago man named Brandon Shephard, who came home late one night last week and heard a baby crying. Looking around, he found a newborn boy in the bushes outside his apartment complex, wrapped in a plastic bag.

Shephard says his paternal instincts kicked in right away. Since he didn’t have a cell phone, he immediately picked up the trembling infant and ran to the nearest fire station, where he kicked in the door and hollered for help. Firefighters rushed the baby to a hospital, where he was found to be in critical condition. It’s a good thing Shephard’s caretaker instincts were so well honed: the baby, called Wilson after the street he was found on, had hypothermia and a cut lip, and likely would not have survived much longer on his own.

Shephard, Wilson’s self-described “pseudo-father,” says he continues to feel a connection with the baby. Shephard, who was adopted at nine months himself, is hopeful that the baby will be adopted into a loving family.

Photo: Chicago Sun-Times

R. Kelly found not guilty

Brett Singer — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 02:51:00 GMT

So. It's time to admit that sometimes, I am wrong.

For example:

"Google? Feh. That stock will never go above $100."

"Hairspray: The Musical? Who the hell is going to want to see that?"

I also think I would have predicted that R. Kelly would be found guilty in his child pornography case.

And once again, I missed the mark. Kelly not only believes he can fly; he will fly, right out of the courtroom. The "dramatic verdict...appeared to stun even his own highly-paid lawyers." When even the attorneys defending you look surprised, that's not a good sign.

Now, this doesn't mean he's a good guy, or even that he didn't do it. One juror said, “Neither side proved their case beyond a reasonable doubt...that’s why we had to go for not guilty.” The jury did not hear about Kelly's prior history with underage women, including "Kelly’s secret marriage to the late R&B star Aaliyah when she was just 15." Nice.

So what was the lack of proof? Apparently the man in the video has a mole on his back, and R. doesn't. Also, according to The AV Club, Kelly's goddaughter denies that she is on the tape, and defense attorneys (you know, the ones that were surprised by the not guilty verdict) also "noted that Kelly's goddaughter is a 'sweet, nice young lady,' and certainly wouldn't have accepted cash for sex, as the girl in the tape is shown doing."

image: Chicago Sun-Times

Babies For Queen Latifah!!

Teachers Fake Deaths to Scare Students Sober

Down with “The Herp”: 1 in 4 New Yorkers Has Herpes

Denise Richards still trying to prove she's insane

R. Kelly case jury selection begins; girl he filmed was his goddaughter

Brett Singer — Tue, 13 May 2008 15:20:00 GMT

R. Kelly might believe he can fly, but first he's going to have to convince a jury that he's innocent of child pornography charges. (See? I could write for TMZ.)

The songwriter and R&B star, known for classics such as "I Believe I Can Fly" and inexplicable train-wrecks like "Trapped in the Closet," (see below for videos) has been charged with "videotaping a girl 'whom he knew or reasonably should have known to be under the age of 18' in a variety of sex acts some time between January 1, 1998, and October 1, 2000."

Adding to intense sleazery of the case is that the "alleged victim, who is now 23, has been identified as Kelly's goddaughter." Doing the math, this means that the girl may have been as young as 13 in the first video.

Ewww!

Jury selection has begun at the Criminal Court in Chicago, and this piece in the Sun-Times describes how the choice of jurors is being handled. The reporters make a point to give the race of each potential juror, although in some cases that doesn't appear to be relevant." One (white) man said, "I have two little kids…Child pornography is about as low as it gets." Maybe I missed something, but (apologies to Michael Jackson) does it really matter if he's black or white? Another woman, identified as, "an African-American woman whose husband is a Baptist pastor," says that she lives in the same town as Kelly but hadn't heard anything about the case. Years ago, during the Rodney King trial, while lawyers were looking for people who hadn't heard anything about the case, Bill Maher said that this meant they were looking for people, "you wouldn't even talk to at a cocktail party." I don't care what race she is, how exactly did she manage to not hear anything about a case as sensational as this one?

The charges are all alleged, so let's not jump to conclusions. Well, let me put it this way – I don't think they'd pick me to serve on this particular jury.

Here's the thing: if memory serves, there's a videotape that shows R. having sex with the girl. They used to sell it on street corners all over Manhattan. So if you can I.D. him and her, what exactly is his defense? "She told me she was almost 18?" And if it's true that she is his goddaughter, should that factor into his punishment?

image: Chicago Sun-Times

Videos of Chapter 15 of "Trapped in the Closet" (not work-safe, lots of cussin'), and "I Believe I Can Fly" (which, as far as I know, does not contain any foul language at all.)

Chapter 15-Trapped in the Closet

I Believe I Can Fly

America's Cities of Misery or Opportunities for Change?

Karen Murphy — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 18:02:00 GMT

Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news? Okay, we'll take the bad news first: ten American cities have been named "most miserable" by Forbes.com. Sucks, eh? They rated cities by unemployment, personal tax rates, commute times, weather, crime and the amount of nearby toxic waste. Uh...so what's the good news? It's that every city has its good points as well as its bad ones. And every city has within it a viable community, if you only know where to look.

But first let's go back to the Misery List, shall we?

At #1 is seemingly our favorite city to bash, lovely Detroit. But have you had a look at Sweet-Juniper's eloquent homage to a city many have given up on? There's a lot more there than meets the eye.

Two cities I grew up near, farther-out bedroom communities of San Francisco, made the list (Stockton and Modesto). Maybe it's the three-hour commutes? But these are nice communities, and the fact that they're a heck of a lot more affordable than close-in communities means a lot.

You'd expect to see New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles on the list: big cities with known big-city problems are sure to be miserable. But they're also wonderful, exciting, stimulating places to live, filled with culture and resources you can't find other places.

And that's the trade-off about any city. Every city is undergoing transformation, and sometimes it doesn't look so pretty. But if you look underneath, you see what's real, and you see what is, for so many people (and with good reason), home.

P.S. My city made #5.

Photo: www.surrealplaces.com

How safe is too safe?

Adrienne Martini — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 22:00:00 GMT

In the Chicago area last week, a 3-year old boy strangled to death when he got tangled up in a window blind cord. Which is, of course, tragic and devastating and avoidable.

While we in no way want to deny the pain that his family must be feeling, the whole situation brings up a larger issue. Are parents so inundated with safety messages that our brains are on danger vapor lock?

Yes, we all should have every last outlet capped, every last cord secured and every potentially hazardous cleaning supply locked down. Our blinds should be new. Our babies should sleep on their backs. Our hands should be washed with non-antibacterial for as long as it takes to sing "Happy Birthday."

As Kim Moldofsky at BabyCenter asks: "Does all this safety advice overwhelm you to the point that you stop listening to it? Where do you draw the line between caution and paranoia?"

I don't know what the answer is, frankly. We played the odds and let both of our infants sleep on their bellies because it was the only way we could get them to sleep. Only one outlet in our entire house has a cover -- and that's just because the former owners left it behind. Our cabinets don't have baby latches on them because both kids seem entirely uninterested in their contents. If one of them -- heavens forbid -- has some kind of accident because of our laxness, what will all of the papers scream about? How we should have known better?

But on the other hand, when does all of the safety get in the way of living your life? Wrapping Junior in gauze and foam doesn't seem to be the answer, either. Life does have sharp corners. Still, it's hard not to feel negligent when you know that there is a risk that you haven't protected them from.

How do other parents handle the balancing act between reckless endangerment and smothering safety?

Photo credit: www.freepatentsonline.com

No Wonder I Don't Feel Any Better

Amy S.F. Lutz — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:11:00 GMT

When I think of placebos, I think of those nifty sugar pills that are given to control groups in studies testing whether new drugs actually work. But a survey by the University of Chicago Medical Center found that 45% of doctors have prescribed placebos over the course of their careers, with only 4% explicitly telling their patients what they were getting.

Holy shit! I didn't even know that was legal.

I know that the brain is very powerful and all that, but what if the placebos don't work? I'm sure many patients return to their physicians (for shinier, more brightly colored placebos, perhaps?), but I can't help but believe some would begin to lose trust in their doctors - after all, 28% of the doctors in the survey told their patients they were getting real medicine (a lie, and I can't believe that's legal either). Those patients might decide to try self-medicating with OTCs, or maybe experimenting with exotic potions hawked on the internet made from the gonads of endangered marsupials, who knows?

But what really gets me is that, in this age of skyrocketing medical costs, it seems the last thing in the world we should encourage is doctors charging patients and their insurance companies for . . . absolutely nothing.

Fight the Power

Matt Wood — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:42:00 GMT

Chicago has a rather checkered history with political protests. Who doesn't remember the Haymarket Riot, or Mayor Daley's thugs cracking skulls at the 1968 Democratic National Convention? Okay, maybe that's just me because I'm a history nerd, but the point is that local leaders usually don't take no mess. Now, some high school students in the suburb of Berwyn have run afoul of the man for protesting the Iraq war at school.

Earlier this month, at least 35 students staged a sit-in in the cafeteria at Morton West High School, in response to regular visits to the school by military recruiters. The school has suspended and threatened to expel 25 of the kids who refused to move their party outside when asked by school administrators. Now, parents are raising a shit storm, saying the punishment is too severe. Some of the kids even claim that top students and athletes were let off easy and not punished, and that the school won't give them their homework during their suspensions.

At first this was one of those extremely local fights that seemed like it would work itself in due time, but now Rev. Jesse Jackson's Rainbow/PUSH Coalition is threatening to sue the school district, and whenever he gets involved, things pick up steam. A school spokesman responded, "We won't engage these demagogues. We'll engage the parents." Well, that was constructive. Stay tuned, this may get ugly.

At least those kids are sticking around to see what happens, unlike 11-year-old Sarah Montgomery. Police are still looking for her after she jumped out of her father's car and ran away Sunday night.

UPDATE - Well, that was quick. The students have been allowed to return to school, although four of the ringleaders will remain suspended for the week.

American Girl Doll Flight, Plight a Near Tragedy of Epic Proportions

Madeline Holler — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 21:12:00 GMT

What’s that smell?

The cloyingly sweet tears of a girl who has lost her favorite doll? Or the acrid, headache-inducing stench of a potentially frivolous lawsuit? Perhaps it’s just the stale odor of a slow news day in Chicago. You be the judge.

Here are the facts:

A precious nine-year-old became become permanently separated from her very special American Girl Doll. Turns out, the plane she and her family were traveling aboard inadvertently unloaded some cargo over the skies of Chicago. The Marisol doll, a discontinued and controversial Mexican girl in the American Girl collection (with an uplifting story of escaping the mean streets of Chicago to its sparkling and gang-free suburbs) had been packed in a blue duffle bag and checked as baggage on the family's Delta flight. Shortly after take-off, the plane lost cabin pressure, made funny sounds, initiated loud praying among some passengers, and released the duffle bag (along with a since recovered bag of Notre Dame crap). The freaked-out passengers and remaining luggage were returned to Chicago-Midway and booked on other flights.

Freshly coiffed at the Doll Hair Salon inside the American Girl Place Chicago, according to an earlier version of the story, Marisol was the Florida nine-year-old’s favorite companion. So much so that when the family realized she would likely never be returned, the father, a trial lawyer, said he couldn’t show his daughter pictures of their Chicago trip. The trauma of loss was too intense.

But wait! An update!

While little Abby mourned Marisol’s high-flying fate, other little girls who heard the story yesterday offered up their own Marisol dolls, not wanting one of their own to suffer so from random events. But before they could gather up the themed outfits and other paraphernalia, the American Girl Doll company was already swaddling a leftover Marisol in bubble wrap and labeling her for shipment.

Thankfully, Daddy won’t have to prepare a brief for the court, little girl won’t have to face life without Marisol, and a reporter filled not only one, but TWO, “news” holes. As for me, I have a renewed faith in American Girl doll owners (the ones donating their dolls, not, well ...)

Hey, what’s that? Smells like the rich, buttery fragrance of a Hollywood happy ending.

Strollerderby Playdate: Chi-Town, Represent!

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 11:02:00 GMT

Yes, we've covered some amazing Chicago mamas before and yes, we will do it again if only because I said so. After all, these world wide webs are ever-changing and we want y'all to keep up as much as you can in between Price is Right hosts. Now, I'm in search of some riotously funny dad bloggers from the Second City. If you know any of those papis, send them my way. Until then, have a margarita like they make 'em in Logan Square, an Italian ice like they scoop 'em up on Taylor Street, a falafel like they roll 'em up at Kimball and Lawrence, a cold pint like they serve 'em up in Wrigleyville, a soft serve like they swirl 'em near the HIP and say cheers to these Chi-town mamis:

Viva La Feminista - Cause yous love yous some activism.

Marketing Mommy - Cause yous needs brand development.

The View From Here - Cause yous need to see this.

A Mom's Life - Cause yous gotsta keep it real.

I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl - Cause yous gotsta get you some sweetness.

Hormone-Colored Days - Cause yous had 'em too, right?

Strollerderby Playdate: Chicago Style

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 08 May 2007 11:03:00 GMT

This morning, my boy is running around the house in an oversized t-shirt that I got from a street vendor for two bucks. It is one that most of us have buried somewhere to tell the world we all *heart* NY. While he's a well-traveled toddler, New York City has never been one of his stops. And really, as cute as he is when he squats down and makes a dress out of that t-shirt, every time he wears it I think about how I need to find him more gear from our city. Maybe a Steppenwolf onesie or dueling Sox and Cubs caps. Or possibly, a nod at the el train near our house we almost never take.

Lil E's not the only wonder to be homegrown in the Windy City. There's also loaded-up hot dogs (which I secretly despise...shhhh) and pizza (which I adore) and undying sports fanaticism (zzzzzz...sorry! what?) and politics. And, course, there are the bloggers. Even BlogHer thinks this is the place to be. In honor of all things cha-cha-Chicago, here are some of da second city women bloggers yous guys should be reading: