Strollerderby : celebrity dads

Confirmation: Jon Gosselin of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” Cheated

SunnyChanel — Wed, 06 May 2009 04:40:00 GMT

Following in the footsteps of oodles of TV reality star couples before them, it appears that Jon and Kate of Jon and Kate Plus Eight fame may be even further on the road to marital ruin. According to US Weekly, there is truth to the rumor that Jon Gosselin is stepping out on the mother of his eight children.

The tabloid reported in this weeks’ issue that for the last three months Gosselin has been having an affair with a 23-year-old third grade teacher Deanna Hummel (no relation to the figurine). This is fresh on the heels of Jon being caught leaving a bar at 2am with Deanna but no wedding ring. The magazine got confirmation of the hot and heavy action from five people “close to the situation.” Both Deanna and Jon have denied the affair. Deanna recently told People Magazine that "We're just friends…it's absurd that anyone would think otherwise." And Jon released a statement that they were just friends and going for a ride in her car at 2am was “in poor judgment.”

Deanna’s brother, one of those who confirmed the affair, did an over share with the mag and said in regards to Jon and Deanna’s rendezvous’ at the house, "A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um — how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let’s just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who's, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast."

For more details from US Weekly check it out here (and more of the story will be revealed when the issue hits the stands) and they also claim to have obtained a video of Jon leaving Deanna’s home at 7:30 in the morning.

Regardless of if the affair is fact or fiction, do you think having a camera crew in your homes and airing your life for the world to see would ruin a marriage? Or do you think there has to be deeper issues at play?

Source

Ben Affleck Suffers Same Fate As Dads of Daughters Everywhere

JeanneSager — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:07:00 GMT

Jennifer Garner says she can always tell when husband Ben Affleck was left to his own devices with daughter Violet's hair. It comes out looking like a rat's nest.

Hey dads, sound familiar?

“You can always tell when he has been at it, just two random barrettes hanging in there. It’s so sweet," Garner told InStyle.

She could have been talking about my husband. He was over the moon when I gave birth to a little girl (which - despite us not finding out prior to delivery - he just "knew" was going to happen), but when she started sprouting enough hair to require clippies and ponytail holders, he was lost.

"It doesn't ever do what I want it to do," he tells me. "I just don't have the patience for it." This coming from a guy who once had hair past his shoulders. But his was super fine, super straight hair, hair that never needed to be brushed out with no more tangles spray after a night of rolling around on a crib mattress, hair that never needed to be secured in two little braids hanging down his back.

Some guys get hair and are perfectly adept at handling their daughter's locks. More are like my husband - facing a major learning curve after years of just not caring what their head looks like (because after years of long hair, his is now shaved in a Marine-like buzz - he does nothing more than shampoo daily). In our house it's particularly funny because it's the bald mother who has been showing Dad the ropes, teaching him about where on the head to place a ponytail (Not too high, this isn't the eighties. Not too low - she isn't an aging hippie) and how to brush out tangles without yanking on the scalp.

I'll give credit where credit is due. He tries. If he's the parent getting her ready for the day, her hair is at least brushed, albeit with a clip stuck at a random angle - kind of like Violet Affleck's.

Dads, did you jump over the curve after your daughters were born or do you turn out girls who sport the ragamuffin look in the morning?

Image: TheInsider

UPDATE: A-Roid Admits It

Brett Singer — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 04:00:00 GMT

UPDATE: A-Rod (A-Roid, A-Fraud - I still like The Rod, but it's not sticking yet) has admitted to ESPN's Peter Gammons that, you know, he did it. Children everywhere are... actually, I don't think children care about this at all.

When I was a young Yankee fan, my guy was Reggie Jackson. All I cared about was how he played. Granted, it was a different time, but despite all of the posturing from commentators I don't think kids care much about whether or not The Rod was juicing. Maybe I'm wrong.

Original post follows:

*-*-*

SI.com is reporting that Alex Rodriguez, whom I usually refer to as "The Rod", tested positive for two different anabolic steroids, Primobolan and testosterone, back in 2003. (Make up your own joke about Alex taking testosterone.)

What does this have to do with parenting? Well, somewhat like the Plaxico Burress gun incident ("Safety? What's a safety?"), kids who are into sports, and even those that aren't, will hear this news. What do you tell them? If you go with the "tut-tut" sanctimony of Major League Baseball and the seemingly endless parade of columnists and talk show hosts, then you have to tell them that The Rod is a big fat cheater. That's the word that has been assigned to steroid users. Cheaters. At least it’s a word that even little kids understand. You know, because it's childish.

If you want to go with a calmer explanation, you could say that The Rod made a mistake and we don't have all the facts yet. (Probably better to call him A-Rod, since I'm the only one that calls him The Rod.) Columnist Chris Ballard says that "All of A-Rod's achievements, past and future, will be tainted." First of all, what if the report was wrong? I'm not saying it was, but sometimes reporters, sources or no, make mistakes. Also, we're slamming the guy for doing something that may not even be against the law because he "tainted" the "purity" of baseball. That seems like a pretty bad message to send to kids, frankly.

Ultimately, baseball is a game. Professional baseball, like all professional sports, is a business. In recent years it has become a huge business, one that allows someone like The Rod to earn almost $30 million in one year. That's just his salary, by the way. He probably made a lot more in endorsements, autograph signings, and other things. Sports figures are no longer on the same playing field as the rest of us, if they ever were. (Pun unintended.) Kids should be allowed to enjoy the game without the braying sanctimony of adults who appear desperate to believe that baseball is more important than it is. Sports can bring great enjoyment to fans young and old. When you try to pretend that these people are something more than human, any fall from grace will be a huge disappointment.

For the record, I am a lifelong Yankee fan and I never liked The Rod. (Give me Scott Brosius any day of the week.) I also don't much care about steroids. I think Major League Baseball helped create this problem by preferring profits to players' health; there were multiple times when guys were obviously juiced up and no one said anything about it, sanctimonious commentators included. And I never thought I'd say this, but I'm a little bit glad that my son isn't a big baseball fan. Explaining Plaxico's gun was easier than this will be.

Image/Source: SI.com

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Britney Spears Will Cancel Tour If Kids Can't Come

Brett Singer — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Famecrawler and TMZ are reporting that Britney Spears says that she won't tour if her kids can't join her.

When I first saw this I thought, "Oh good. Another loony celeb mom who wants to drag her young'uns around the globe. What's wrong with these people?"

Upon further reading, it seems that Brit wants to set things up so that Sean Preston and Jayden James would stay put at three different "bases" in New Jersey, New Orleans, and Los Angeles. Mama Britney would "commute" from her shows to the home bases, thereby enabling her to tour and see the boys.

Why is this even a story? Because Britney, her family Jamie Spears (not to be confused with Jamie LYNN Spears, Britney's sister) and Kevin Federline (K-Fed) worked out this deal on their own. Without the lawyers. And that, my friends, is a veddy bad idea.

According to TMZ, K-Fed's lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan says that the situation, "could have been handled better if Jamie and company would have 'manned up' and had Kevin got the benefit of his lawyers to protect his position." K-Fed's attorney will present his own version of the deal, thereby justifying his existence and removing a roadblock to the deal going through – his ego.

Regarding that last paragraph: I'm not sure that I'm correct about that analysis, but I think I am.

Here's what I have a problem with here. As a parent, I would think that Britney and K-Fed would want to keep the details of their custody battle private. If Britney's dad can work out a deal with them, why is K-Fed's lawyer jumping in and mucking up the works, and possibly leaking the information to the press? Again: I need to say that I don't know if Mr. Kaplan, K-Fed's attorney, leaked anything. But he did provide a quote to TMZ about Jamie Spears "manning up". What kind of language is that? Why not keep things as cordial as possible? I understand him wanting to look for K-Fed's interests. But why insult the kids' grandfather, who is also in charge of Britney's interests at the moment?

As for Britney touring or not, I think that she's entitled to go out on the road since that's her job. If it were Federline who had a successful career (or any career at all, frankly), I seriously doubt that anyone would be concerned with what happens to the kids, despite that fact that he has custody. I don't think it's a great idea for kids to be schlepped all over the globe while mom prances around in stadiums wearing Spandex. But if they can work out a way to do it so that the kids aren't overly inconvenienced, what's wrong with that? Anglina Jolie and Brad Pitt bring those kids all over the place and nobody seems to mind.

I have to admit that reading this story, my eyes started to roll back in my head. Even keeping straight which Jamie Spears they're talking about – the father or the sister – starts to get difficult after awhile. Maybe I need to read more gossip magazines.

Source: Famecrawler, TMZ

Bart Simpson-Scientologist

Sarah Palin Says Leave My Kids Alone

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Alex Rodriguez Writing Love Poems To Madonna

Brett Singer — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Ah, The Rod. He makes it almost too easy.

The New York Post, along with every other media outlet on the planet, reports that The Rod has found his muse. No, it's not Derek Jeter. It's Madonna. He's writing her (hang on, I need to stop laughing… OK. OK, I'm back.) love poems.

What must that sound like?

madonna
I am in love with u
I am intrigued by all the things that u do
please teach me how I can be a better jew
madonna

Love, Alex

I've said it before, and I'll say it again – oy vey.

Now, to be serious for a minute, both Madonna and The Rod need to calm down. I don't really care if they're dating. OK, I care a little bit, since I enjoy making fun of The Rod, and as a Yankee fan, I would greatly prefer it if he concentrated more on PLAYING BASEBALL than on whatever the hell he's up to off the field. But both of these people have young children. Madonna's daughter Lourdes is old enough read the papers, and so is her son Rocco. Why would you want to put your kids through this crap?

There's always the chance that Madonna has, in fact, lost her mind. According to various sources (including our very own Famecrawler), Madonna instituted strict rules for when daddy Guy Ritchie has the kids. For example:

Their hands should be regularly cleaned with disinfectant spray if they are in public places.
They should not be bought toys that are spiritually or ethically unsound.
Guy should not discuss the separation with them.
All water they drink, even when it is to dilute organic juice, should be Kabbalah water.

I bet Halloween at her house is real fun. Maybe too much publicity is the least of these kids' problems.

Source: NY Post (also image), Famecrawler

Rocco Ritchie wears Yankee shirt, Guy Ritchie weeps

Madonna Rules The Roost From Across The Pond

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Madonna Pisses Off Guy, Pulls Lourdes Out of School

Why Are The Grown Up Costumes For Women So Slutty?

Another non news photo

The Candy That Time Forgot

Is Sarah Palin the next Oprah?

More Bad Halloween Costumes for Kids

The Smurfs Turn 50

Jay Thomas Reunites With Out of Wedlock Son

Sarah Palin Gets Pranked By Canadian Radio Hosts – Video

Rocco Ritchie wears Yankee shirt, Guy Ritchie weeps

Brett Singer — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 21:00:00 GMT

This is just silly.

Us Magazine is reporting that Guy Ritchie, who is divorcing Madonna and had NO PRE-NUP, is freaking out because his son was wearing a Yankee shirt.

"He's actually been crying over it," says the source on the set of Ritchie's upcoming drama 'Sherlock Holmes'. "He's in a terrible state but is doing his best to be on form at work."

The insider tells Us Ritchie "cannot believe" Madonna would let their son wear the shirt, given the fact that her close relationship with the slugger played a role in their contentious divorce.

Look. If it were a Mets shirt, or a (shudder) RED SOX shirt, I could understand Guy getting all worked up. But the Yankees? The most storied franchise in sports history? Come on.

On a slightly more serious note, if this report from an "insider" is true (who are these people who call tabloids at the drop of a hat?), what a self-centered bozo. He's off directing a major film, the Material Mom is on tour screaming about Sarah Palin, and his son is being raised by who knows who. The shirt? That's what he's worrying about?

As for A-Rod – sorry, THE Rod – he apparently attended Yom Kippur services with Madonna and her children. (Aside: next time you are with Madge, ask her what meshugeh ahf toit means. It's important.) This is because the Yankees aren't playing in October. Just wanted to point that out. ALEX. FOCUS.

Source: US

Guy Ritchie Already Found Somebody Else

UPDATE: Jon Stewart says "F*** All Y'All"

The Obamas wear cheap clothes

Another non news photo

Santa Claus says: Smoke More

Sarah Palin on SNL for real

New Obama Cabinet Position: Oprah as the Secretary of Feel-Good?

Is a happy ending massage cheating?

Should DirecTV Go Around Reincarnating Dead Child Stars?

Magic Garden out on DVD

Missing Teen's Dad Blames Xbox Game Call of Duty

Bill Murray asks about the Cubs

Disney movie to feature black princess

Clay Aiken Comes Out

Brett Singer — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:18:00 GMT

It's official – Clay Aiken is a gay dad.

In news that surprises absolutely no one, the AP is reporting that yes, Virginia (or is that Mary?) Clay Aiken is a gay man. Claymates everywhere are in tears.

The story highlights from CNN?

· "American Idol" runner-up and infant son are on new People cover
· "I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things," Aiken says
· Aiken made his debut on Broadway in "Spamalot"

So. The first two, OK. On the cover of People, interesting (especially since it was previously reported that no one wanted that picture because it was too "creepy"). Can't lie while raising a child, yes, right, newsworthy quote. And…he was on Broadway. This is relevant because…?

UPDATE: Famecrawler has the People Mag cover which features the headline, "Yes, I'm Gay." Pulitzer material, methinks.

Source/image: CNN

Read more:

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Arkansas Evangelist's compound raided, six children removed

Enormous baby sculpture

Denise Richards Reality Show Canceled

Brett Singer — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:00:00 GMT

It's official – you won't have Denise Richards to kick around anymore.

The E! channel has canceled the unwatchable "It's Complicated," which followed Richards as she tried raising her kids and a lot of pets… or something like that. I watched the first episode and found it mostly dull, but also somewhat depressing, since she had her young children on camera all the freakin' time. Remember that it was her ex-husband Charlie Sheen who wanted to keep the kids off of the show, but Denise took him to court and won. It's an old joke now, but when Charlie Sheen is the good parent, something is very, very wrong.

The reason for the cancellation isn't very complicated at all: nobody was watching. Page Six quotes "a source" who said, "The numbers started out pretty good - just over 1.5 million tuned in for the premiere episode…But the audience has dropped off." In other words, people would have been interested, but she just wasn't that interesting.

It's worth remembering that Denise Richards had a career as an actress for awhile. Granted, it was largely based on her looks, but she was considered one of the hotter young starlets around (think Megan Fox). Things were already on the decline career-wise when she married Sheen, so it would be easy to say that she is a victim of Hollywood ageism. But I have a feeling that some of the behavior she displayed on her reality show – the Post cites one "her confrontation with an editor for a magazine over how she [was] portrayed in the tabloid press" as a "low-light" for the series – was also her behavior in real life. That's just a guess, of course. Oh well. At least her kids won't have their lives on display anymore. Maybe she can do "Dancing with the Stars."

Source: NYPost

Image: LATimes.com

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Matthew McConaughey keeps placenta

Brett Singer — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

When I first saw the headline, "McConaughey plans placenta burial", I thought, "Ah. A new high/low in celebrity wackiness."

It turns out, though, that burying the placenta is a not uncommon practice in some cultures. In fact, you can even purchase a Placenta Burial Jar online. So making fun of it would be, at best, culturally insensitive.

Still, I have questions. Like, where do you keep the placenta until the burial? In a jar? In the fridge? What does it smell like? And "burial" seems like a morbid term to me, even though that is, literally, what you are doing. And do you visit the site of the burial? Matt says that he was inspired by a "placenta tree" he saw in Australia, so maybe he hopes a tree will pop up where little Levi's former food supply is put in the ground. So, like, road trip to see the placenta?

In some cultures, the placenta is, um, eaten. I guess Matt didn't want to go that far. No word on whether or not he'll keep his damn fool shirt on during the ceremony.

image/source: nzherald.co.nz

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Matthew McConaughey To Plant Son's Placenta In Orchard

Camila Alves Doesn't Do Post-Baby Weight

Camila Alves - Beach Babe Just Three Weeks After Having Levi!

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Oy vey, Miley showed her tuchas again

James Blunt loves triangles

Old Jonas Brothers CD priceless

Lourdes and Miley kidnapped?

Brett Singer — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Have America's sweethearts been kidnapped? No, silly! Do you really think something like that would happen and you wouldn't hear about it? Here's the truth about these photos:

First, Lourdes Ciccone, daughter of Madonna. Who is that unmasked man holding her hand? Well, that's her dad. Not Guy Ritchie, but her biological dad, Carlos Leon. Carlos was once arrested for smoking pot in Washington Square Park, but as far as we know, he doesn't do that too often. They probably just saw The Rod (note: that's my new name for Alex Rodriguez; he's not just A rod -- he's THE Rod) across the street and wanted to get away before he started talking to them.

As for Miley/Hannah/Whatever (the girl has more names than a Chekhov character), she's just filming a new movie, which I won't see but will likely gross hundreds of millions of dollars. She doesn't look too happy but I'm guessing it was just a bad moment. Either that or The Rod was visiting the set that day.

images: NY Post, Now Magazine

Dad Rod to visit Kid Rod

C Rod Files For Divorce

Who is babysitting the Kid-Rods?

Lou Gehrig Day on July 4th

Jim Abbott is a ballplayer you can look up to

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Jim Abbott is a ballplayer you can look up to

Brett Singer — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:00:00 GMT

The other day, out of nowhere, my son asked me if I had ever heard of a pitcher named Jim-something who only had one hand. Sure, I replied. Jim Abbott. Played for the Yankees. Threw a no-hitter. My son was amazed that I (a) knew who he was talking about, and (b) that someone with only one hand could become a major league pitcher, much less a successful one.

He played for the Yankees from 1992-1994, throwing his no-hitter in 1993. (He played for other teams too, but I'm a New York snob.) He also pitched for the gold medal winning 1998 United States Olympic Baseball Team.

So what is he doing now? Well, while Alex Rodriguez is making significantly more news off the field than he is on it, Abbott is retired from baseball, working as a motivational speaker. He also answers letters from disabled kids and their parents. This article from Sports Illustrated updates us on Jim and tells the story of some of the many kids whose lives Abbott has touched. One of them, Blaise Venancio, is eight years old and has Poland's Syndrome, which in his case means he only has the use of one hand. Of course, he wants to play baseball. Rather than giving up, he watched video of Jim Abbott, eventually writing him a letter, which Abbott answered. "To Blaise," reads the note to Blaise Venancio. "I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck with baseball this year. Hopefully you are having a great time playing. I know it is sometimes hard to do things a little differently from other kids. But believe me, if you stick with it, you can be just as good. Always believe. Anything is possible."

It gets better: In May, wearing his glove on his left hand, Blaise ran in from center field to cover second base, making a backhanded pick-up of an in-between-hop throw. When asked how he did it, Blaise said, "Jim Abbott. He's my friend." That gets me right here, y'know?

I'm a sucker for this sort of thing, I admit it. But a guy who has one hand and pitches, pitches really well, and according to Wikipedia, can even hit (even though he didn't often have to)? While every sports media outlet gushes like a teenage girl with a boy-band crush about the All-Star Game, I think it's worth remembering that some ballplayers are good people who want to be helpful in some way.

Here's some video of Abbott. Take that, A-Rod.

Jim Abbott- the legend

Jim Abbott - Rise to Fame

image: Jim Abbott official website

Source: Sports Illustrated

Dad Rod to visit Kid Rod

C Rod Files For Divorce

Who is babysitting the Kid-Rods?

All-Star Daddy: Joe Girardi

All-Star Daddy: Ryan Dempster

When Cynthia called Cindy

Brett Singer — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Cynthia Rodriguez, that is. Called Cindy Adams. Because, you know, that's the first person I would call if I were getting a divorce.

Cindy Adams scored an EXCLUSIVE interview with the woman formerly known as C-Rod. While her hubby (hereafter referred to as "The Rod") was busy striking out with the bases loaded, Cynthia was chatting to Cindy about him.

Apparently the message on her MySpace page (which is probably fake) isn't that far off: "she still loves him," writes Adams in the New York Post.

Ms. Scurtis says that she "wants no publicity." However, when reports came out that she went on a $100,000 spending spree in Paris in order to stick it to The Rod, Cynthia was "urged" by her lawyers to "address these misperceptions," according to the Post article.

Adams also says, referring to both her past as a child psychologist and her two daughters, that "this lady's passion is children," which would explain why she fell in love with The Rod. (Because he's, you know, a big baby.)

The one question I still want answered is: who is taking care of those two kids? Cynthia said she went to Paris for four days to "clear my head." I don't know about you, but spending time with a 3 year old and an 11 month old is not my idea of a head-clearing time. So presumably, she left the kids Stateside. Right? They weren't with The Rod, he was busy striking out and making excuses, plus he hasn't been allowed to see them. (Free advice for Cynthia: if you don't want people to think you're out shopping all the time, maybe the photo accompanying the EXCLUSIVE interivew where you try to set the record straight should be of something other than you shopping.)

We do get to hear that 3 year old Natasha misses her daddy, which is sad. The whole thing is kind of sad, but since I've never been a fan of The Rod, I admit that I'm keeping up on all of the nasty details as they pop up. And there may be more of those, sayeth Cindy: "More bad Alex habits may yet surface. There are coaches on road trips through whom notes and numbers were passed. Much wildlife may yet creep out from under many a stadium." Oy vey.

photo: NY Post

Who is babysitting the Kid-Rods?

Lou Gehrig Day on July 4th

Attack of the Strippers

How Are Madonna's Kids Holding Up?

Jose Canseco: Madonna Begged Me To Impregnate Her

Dad Rod to visit Kid Rod

Brett Singer — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:15:00 GMT

The New York Post is reporting that Cynthia Rodriguez, the woman formerly known as C-Rod, will allow her husband-for-now Alex to see the older of their two children. Dad-rod hasn't seen little Natasha (3) or Ella (11 weeks) since Cynthia threw him out of the house, requesting that he… never… return. (Two points to whomever can tell me where that line comes from.)

Natasha will travel to Toronto where the allegedly philandering third baseman is playing baseball, a side gig to his main job as Tabloid Fodder. Cynthia's attorney, Earle Lilly, said that baby Ella is "too young to travel far from Miami," which is where Cynthia is now that she's returned from Paris, where she wasn't sleeping with Lenny Kravitz.

Toronto? Isn't that where Alex was caught dining with a stripper last year? Why, yes. Yes it was. The Post talked to said stripper, one Joslyn Morse, who told reporters that she would be willing to testify at the Rod's divorce trial (although she hasn't been asked yet). According to the dishrag of record: "I don't believe much in life anymore," Morse answered when asked about her former paramour's infatuation with Madonna. She did not elaborate." WELL. All righty then.

image: MySpace

Who is babysitting the Kid-Rods?

Lou Gehrig Day on July 4th

Attack of the Strippers

How Are Madonna's Kids Holding Up?

Jose Canseco: Madonna Begged Me To Impregnate Her

C Rod Files For Divorce

Brett Singer — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:45:00 GMT

Cynthia Rodriguez has clearly decided that Madonna is, well, full of it. Or maybe she just doesn't like being called "C Rod". Whatever the reason, she's filed for divorce in Miami, according to ESPN.com/Associated Press. The filing says that A-Rod "emotionally abandoned his wife and children…The marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken because of the husband's extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct." Note that it says "affairs" and not "affair". Assuming Madonna is lying when she says the two are just drinking buddies rather than Kabbalah Kanoodlers, there are at least two (let us not forget his dalliance with stripper Joslyn Noel Morse.)

A-Rod's attorney (Attorney-Rod?), who has the porn movie name of Ira M. Elegant, "said he had not reviewed the divorce petition but added: 'As you know, anyone can pay the filing fee and make allegations.'" I actually didn't know that, so thanks Ira.

Now, since she's single, I want to take a moment to point out her MySpace page! She hasn't logged in since November of 2007, which probably explains why she says, "I am my husbands biggest fan!!" The page is in her maiden name of Cynthia Scurtis. It is, of course, highly possible that the page is fake; we'll have to see if that login date changes in the coming weeks. Since she will likely receive a dump truck full of Major League Cash (A-Rod is the highest paid player in baseball), Cynthia just shot up to the top of the Most Eligible Bachelorette list.

I feel badly for the kid-rods, who are very young. Alex, you're a weenie.

image: MySpace

Related:

Who is babysitting the Kid-Rods?

Madonna Denies The Rumors

A-Rod's Wife Left Him Over Madonna

Lou Gehrig Day on July 4th

Who is babysitting the Kid-Rods?

Brett Singer — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:00:00 GMT

At least some part of the A-Rod/Madonna/C-Rod/Lenny Kravitz bizarre love square is true (C-Rod is the new name for Cynthia Rodriguez, wife of Alex, in case you didn't know). Kravitz denies that he and Mrs. Rod are having an affair, and the fact that he reportedly isn't even in Paris lends some credibility to that claim. But Cynthia is definitely in The City of Light, and the New York Post has the photo to prove it. PLUS she isn’t wearing her $150,000 engagement ring. Also, Cynthia's mom Evangeline told the Post, "We've known about this for a long time. Everyone else is shocked, but we're not shocked…My daughter is a very good girl. She has high values." Not exactly a full-on confirmation, but it's close.

Now, I have a question, one also asked by Boston teacher DeDe White in today's New York Post: um, don't these people have young children?

Normally the phrase "but what about the children?" is used as a club to bludgeon people who have the audacity to schedule golf tournaments involving strippers at the same time that 7 year olds will be hitting the links. In this case, though, I think it's fair to ask who's taking care of the 10 week old bambina, not to mention the 4 year old. Grandpa Rod (actually it was Cynthia's father, John Scurtis, but Grandpa Rod is funnier) told the Post that the Kid-Rods were "being taken care of" but didn't say anything more than that. It's certainly possible that the little ones are in Paris with mom but I sort of doubt it.

(Aside: if you google "a-rod children", the first link that pops up is news from 2007 on his official web site that his children's book is being released. I guess he and Madonna have authorship in common.)

Another thing: I always wonder who these "friends" are that get quoted in gossip stories like these. What kind of "close friend" yaks to the media like that, even off the record?

image: New York Post

A-Rod Asks for Divorce

Lou Gehrig Day on July 4th

Attack of the Strippers

Cynthia Finds Love Letter From A-Rod To Madonna

Denise Richards still trying to prove she's insane

Brett Singer — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:00:00 GMT

It's Friday the 13th, which must be why I'm drawn to stories about weird, evil people today.

Denise Richards isn't in the same league and Josef Fritzl or Charles Manson, but she does seem to be trying to prove to the world that she's out of her gourd. Showbiz Spy reports that the former Mrs. Charlie Sheen is, "pleading with the star to stop publicly bashing her now he has re-married…'He loves to trash me in the press and discredit me and has tried to sabotage my show. I hope that now that he's married, he can move forward and be civil.'"

Now, we're not excusing Charlie Sheen, who has his own issues, to put it mildly. Back in May he claimed that Denise emailed him asking for a sperm donation. Denise's reply was, shall we say, something less than "civil": "I don't want Charlie's prostitute-tranny-infested sperm." Nice.

She also accused Chuck of exploiting, "our entire situation." Um, you have a reality show on E! that features your kids. Pot? Kettle? Neither one of them is winning parent of the year, but I think when you put your toddler-age children on a reality show you kind of lose the right to accuse your former husband for "exploiting the situation".

I have a wacky, wacky idea for Denise and Charlie. Yes, you hate each other. Yes, it's an ugly divorce. But you have kids. Stop talking to the media for awhile. SHUT-UP.

image: Page Six

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K-Fed Is Dad of the Year. Seriously.

Kelly Mills — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:04:00 GMT

I swear this one must really be a sign of the apocalypse: Kevin Federline is getting an award for "father of the year". No, I'm not making this up, and this time it isn't Details just whoring for publicity. Um, you might wanna dig yourself a bomb shelter and find some religion, because I have seen the sign, and it is called celebration of the K-Fed. But I guess he's being lauded for stepping up with his children when Britney went rogue on us and wasn't fit to parent.

Oh, but wait a minute: It's a Las Vegas club, Prive, that is giving out the award, and K-Fed is hosting a party there on Father's Day. It is just cheap publicity whoring. Phew! You can put away the sackcloth. But perhaps I could take this li'l opportunity to point out that once again, a dad gets props for doing what many other women--even ones who were married to celebrities--have already done, i.e. becoming sole parent when the other parent wasn't doing so hot. So he did his job. Um, what was he going to do--abandon the kids? K-Fed has cash to burn and nannies galore and I don't feel all that proud of his sad ass. I bet there's plenty of more deserving single dads and moms out there. I mean, big whoop.

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Unmarried Celebrity Moms and Dads

Madeline Holler — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:37:00 GMT

MSNBC has a nice little gawky slideshow featuring famous couples who bear children without being married. It's a sidebar, cheekily titled "First Comes Baby" (then comes love?) and accompanies the main story on Jessica Alba, who is promoting her new movie and is also with child. The headline acts as meddling mother by promising her "thoughts on marriage."

Having given birth to both my kids before being forced to marry my partner to get health benefits (details provided here), I still feel a certain affinity to these couples who, for whatever reason, haven't bothered getting married -- now or yet or ever. And I tend to slice and dice all the codes and tones and extra commentary packed into the reportage. I like to see what terms the writers come up with for the main players. Like Erin's recent post on names for two mommies, unmarried couples don't have any agreed-upon references for their partners/girlfriends/husbands/SOs/etc.

So going through the slideshow, I did a little lexical inventory of what the baby mama/baby daddy get called and find it interesting that there's a difference, even though I can't figure out who gets to be called what. It's either "boyfriend/girlfriend" (for example, Halle Berry's, Matthew McConaughey's, Jamie Lynn Spears', Alba's, Nicole Richie's) or "longtime boyfriend/girlfriend" (Mark Wahlberg's). Only the Tim Robbins/Susan Sarandon industrial complex is referred to in terms of "partner."Brad and Angelina get to be called "a couple." Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher are spared the girlfriend/boyfriend tag, too, either because they're both actors or because, as their slide indicates, he proposed to her years ago.

Any unmarried couples out there want to chime in with terminological ideas for the celebrity press?

IIncidentally, if you read through the Alba story, she says, regarding marriage, "she's thought about it," but nothing more. We're not getting the details. Seems that unlike li'l Jamie Lynn Spears, she doesn't necessarily "want to get married real bad." I hear you, Jessica, I hear you.

(Grey's) Anatomy of a Baby Naming Trend

Madeline Holler — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 23:04:00 GMT

What kind of embarrassing is it when you realize that you named your kid after a TV character? Because nobody does that on purpose, right? It’s TV. It’s fleeting. It’s getting canceled next season. Nobody actually says, “We’re naming her Olivia. We’re big fans of Law & Order SVU!”

So all you parents of an Addison under the age of 2, tell me: where’d you come up with that name? ABC Thursdays, 9 p.m./8 central? That’s what I thought, you Grey’s Anatomy automatons! Well, prepare yourselves for cast reunions at your weekly playgroups, because your Addison is going to be fighting over crayons with a lot of Baileys, Izzys (Izzies?), Callies and Jacksons.

The fastest rising baby names in 2007 have some kind of connection to Grey’s Anatomy and its stars, according to Baby Center. Let’s start with Addison, the name of a hot OB/Gyn who was spun off onto her own series Private Practice. She jumped 20 spots in the name rankings to land in the Top 10 names.

And Isobel, the character played by Katherine Heigl, moves an average of six spots a year since the show’s launch in 2005.

Bailey, the name of the no-nonsense doctor with a heart of gold, was the fastest rising, jumping 39 spots.

Callie, new to the Top 100 list, is, don’t you know, the name of Dr. Torres on the show.

Over in the land of boys, Jackson jumped 10 spots and is now in the Top 10. Who’s Jackson on the show? Well, this is where Baby Center’s arguments for the show’s influence gets tenuous.

They say: Actor Justin Chambers (who plays Dr. Alex Karev) has a daughter named Isabella and a son named Jackson.

You know, I’ve been in the baby name business for at least seven years now and let me tell you, I’ve met enough pre-2005 Jackson’s to fully staff a city hospital starting in the year 2020.

While I’m at it, there has always been at least one Isobel in every park too – though rather than Izzie, the pre-2005 nom de play of choice was always Bella.

So maybe Grey’s Anatomy isn’t as influential on names as the website argues. Maybe … maybe! … writers for Grey’s Anatomy’s pilot went to a kid's birthday party in 2002 and named the characters after the guests who brought the best presents.

Now, tell me. Why did you name your baby Isobel?

David Beckham Snubs Cancer Survivor Kids?

Kelly Mills — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 21:04:00 GMT

Sigh. Yeah, I suppose it makes a good flashy news item, the idea that David Beckham would shine on a group of kids who also happened to be cancer survivors. Like next we'll get, "David Beckham kicks puppies" and "David Beckham is a holocaust denier." And the story goes that a group of children were waiting outside Beckham's hotel in Australia, wearing his jersey and holding stuffed kangaroos and he just turned his back on them and walked right past. There's footage of one little girl who made it through leukemia with two bone marrow transplants sobbing. Double ugh.

Only, um, it sounds like the explanation is not that David Beckham doesn't care about kids, but that he just didn't see them. If I was walking into my hotel with a full contingent of handlers, surrounded by flashing cameras and yelling people, I might not see much either. How much do you wanna bet the same news crews that were so quick to shove mics in those crestfallen kid faces would've pushed any number of children out of the way to get a good shot of Becks? I mean, bleugh. So now Beckham has offerred to meet with the children any time before he leaves the country. Hopefully the kids will get something out of this, but maybe some small piece of the moral could be that celebrity worship is never what it's cracked up to be.

Best of Famecrawler: Jason Bateman Drops Babies

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:16:00 GMT

Posted by Whit Honea

He'll do it too. Jason Bateman is a cold, hard man. He sure dresses nice though. Not only that, he's married to Paul Anka's daughter Amanda. That's pretty freaking cool. That's Francesca Nora Bateman hanging out with her daddy.

Bateman and I go way back. I remember watching "The Hogan Family" and thinking it was the funniest shit on TV. In hindsight it was probably just shit on TV. Maybe they should have had a strike back then. Regardless, he was funny and cool and I could relate. Except for the funny and cool part.

You may be wondering what Bateman is up to now. The picture should have been a clue. This is how he rolls, "I am going to bed now at 10 p.m. instead of getting my nights started at 10 p.m. And I am up at 6:30 a.m. instead of going to bed at 6:30 a.m."

Sound familiar?

The guy is working and doing the dad thing and living the life. That's refreshing in Hollywood.

He wasn't really going to drop the baby.

Source/Photo: Vanity Fair

More celebrity dads today at Famecrawler:

Photos of Ashton and Flea for Your Father's Day Pleasure

Kelly Mills — Thu, 31 May 2007 18:27:00 GMT

Father's Day is just around the corner, and it is such a special holiday, I wish it came two or three times a year. You know why, right? Because it is an opportunity for every magazine to feature hot, drool-worthy dads being all shirtless and fatherly and... Okay, I'm kidding. All these dads are wearing shirts, except Flea, and now that you mention it, I don't think I've ever even seen him in a shirt. I bet he just has one giant dresser drawer of sweat socks with a couple pairs of skater shorts thrown in for formal occasions. But hey, I'm not judging, and neither should Lionel Richie, who only ever wears blouses. Those two will each get a nice t-shirt from me for Father's Day this year.

Anyhow, these dads are all featured in In Style, and the photos are from Joyce Ostin's upcoming book on celeb daddies. Sadly, no hot photos of Daddy Depp for me and Melissa and a bajillion other women and men to smooch all over, but there's still some nice shots here. I do hope next time someone will stop John Belushi from comparing fatherhood to beekeeping. Mr. Rod Stewart wins the prize for cutest baby, and he looks pretty darn good himself, though really, who doesn't look superb in black-and-white. Especially that non-traditional Willis-Kutcher-Moore family. And I know this is a bad thing to think, but wow, wouldn't it be freaky if you were a teenage girl and Ashton Kutcher was your stepfather? I mean, I don't love him for his brain or anything, but boy, is he pretty. If I had to share a bathroom with him during my teen years I'd be all kinds of conflicted.

Tom Brady on Fatherhood: "Holy Sh-t, I Have No Control"

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Tue, 29 May 2007 23:01:00 GMT

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, 29, is preparing for fatherhood with his ex, Bridget Moynihan, by trying to relax about it. Apparently it's not keeping him up at night. Then again, he's spending those nights with Giselle Bundchen now.

It's good to know (thanks to his PR machine), that he's at least thinking about being a father, because until now, we haven't heard him say word one about this baby. We do know that he dated Moynahan, 35, for three years before calling it quits in December. Back then she was newly pregnant and he was newly dating the Brazilian model.

Says Brady in the latest issue of Details:

"I want to prepare for it the way I do everything else in my life. I make lists. I make plans. But being a father is different. "It's going to be a challenge. I guess that late at night, I'm not so much scared as thinking of it as a huge unknown."

Huge unknown, for sure. But what is known is that the child will need love and support, oh, and spending time with dad might be nice. But that's already on your list, right, Tom?

[photo: Forbes.com]

Napoleon Dynamite Dude Gives Birth!

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 23 May 2007 13:55:00 GMT

Napoleon Dynamite gave birth! OK, OK, fine, the actor who played Napoleon Dynamite gave birth. Well, his wife did anyway. But it's not like she starred in only the, like, most killer movie ever.

Though the date of Evan Jane Heder's birth was not revealed, the parents reported the kid is doing just fine and is already enrolled in a sweet cage fighting program -- when she's not busy chatting with chicks on the Internet. All day.

So kudos to Jon Heder and wife, Kirsten, who will find out soon that, like chickens, babies have large talons.

Alec Baldwin to Publicly Apologize to His Daughter Today

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 12:02:00 GMT

By the time you read this—depending on where you live—Alec Baldwin may or may not have walked the gauntlet on the View to apologize to his daughter for calling her "a pig."

Baldwin and his PR team have been working at carefully coordinated public acts of self-flagellation which began when he apologized for being an ass on his website and left his guest book wide open for people to concur. Then we moved on to his consultation with Dr. Phil which was "far-reaching." Oh, and by the way, Dr. Phil was allowed to talk about it with Larry King.

Next, Alec symbolically threw himself on the sword asking NBC to cut him from 30 Rock, saying, "he didn't care if he never acted again." He just wants to work for alienated parents' rights forever and ever. NBC, of course, said, "See this piece of paper? This is your contract. We own you for another year, dude."

So what's left? The ultimate walk of shame: having to appear contrite on the View in front of short-timer Rosie O' Donnell and her nemesis Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Actually, that might be penance enough.

Alec, you're one shrewd mofo. I give you that... and I'll be watching.