Strollerderby : breastfeeding

Fountain Shoots, Um, Breastmilk?

JeanneSager — Sun, 24 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Still freaked out over breastfeeding in public? Then we're going to guess you won't be posing for pictures in front of any of the host of water fountains around the world that feature women pumping . . .in very public places.

Because what else do you call the mermaids in the celebrated Piazza Del Netunno (Neptune) in Bologna, Italy? With water shooting out of their nipples, it makes you wonder if the architect had a nursing mom at home:

And what do you make of the Fontana delle Tette in Treviso? More Italians love for mama?

So what do you think? Were these the first examples of pumping in public?

Images: Virtual Tourist, Suite 101

Breastfeeding Kids Scare Prudes

JeanneSager — Thu, 21 May 2009 13:32:00 GMT

OK, let me break it down for you folks, because apparently there are still some folks out there who don't get it.

Breastfeeding is not a sexual act.

So if toddlers are doing it to their dolls, do we REALLY give two hoots (or hooters?). A group of Brits with their granny panties in a bunch apparently do.

Staff at a hospital in Manchester, England hung a poster that shows a little girl "breastfeeding" her doll. It's something I know a lot of moms say their kids have done. Because, well, they saw a Mom (maybe theirs, maybe someone else's) doing it and they want to be just like her. That, they've decided is part of mothering their "baby" doll. It's actually pretty sweet if you think about it.

The staff were trying to make that point exactly - kids copy what they see, so why not give them a positive example? Except a grandmother visiting her grandson called the papers to complain because, she says, "The picture is shocking and it isn't normal. Children copy their parents but I don't think any little girls should be breastfeeding their dolls."

Why is it shocking? Because a little kid is playing mommy? Excuse me, should we send that message out to the hundreds of dolls marketed for giving kids ability to pretend to be "just like mom?" How about the toy strollers and little Mommy and Me outfits?

Of course, if she was holding a bottle to the baby's mouth, we can only assume Gram would be just fine with this picture, and everything would be right with the world. Er, OK, why? Because it didn't involve a boobie? Bingo! Because we're just parading back to the fact that breasts are not to be used for such nonsense as what nature intended.

What really bugs me about this story, however, isn't Gram. She might just be written off as old-fashioned and set in her ways (although at thirty-nine . . . ). But the healthcare worker quoted in the article calling the photo "offensive," is of even greater concern here. Because if someone working IN a hospital setting is freaked out by this picture, it's no wonder moms are still getting poor breastfeeding starts at many hospitals.

So let's get back to the beginning. Breastfeeding does not equal sex. Three-year-old pretending to feed their dolly breastmilk does not equal kinky perversion. Now, want to go tell your son or daughter they're doing something freaky? Didn't think so.

Image:Manchester Evening News

Poolside Breastfeeding Violates No Food Rule

Brett Singer — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:00:00 GMT

This is annoying. And funny.

Laura Whotton of Nottingham (no relation to the Sheriff of Nottingham) was "rebuked" when she tried to breastfeed her son at the pool. Her older boy was swimming at the time, and she wanted to keep on eye on him while the baby had a snack.

The mother, of course, was upset. "People in bikinis were showing more skin and breast than I was." With all due respect, that seems unlikely since breastfeeding requires exposing a breast, although I suppose it's possible she was using a Hooter Hider (that's a real product name, by the way) or similar covering. Mrs. Whotton also said that the incident "could put people off going swimming," which seems a little overwrought. As for being "rebuked by a staff member at the John Carroll Leisure Centre" (hee hee -- the English talk funny), I see her point. It's annoying and uneccessary.

The City Council has since rewritten their rules on poolside noshing in order to accomodate future breastfeeders.

This is not the first time a mom was told to put "the girls" away at the pool. (I know, it's not like she was stripping, I'm just trying to turn a phrase.) Something similar occurred in Canada back in October of 2008.

Here's a funny angle on the story. In general, breastfeeding advocates will say things like, "It's just eating." Right? Well, doesn't that mean that breast milk is food? And therefore, if there is a ban on food and drink at the pool, why doesn't that rule apply to breastfeeding?

To me, the answer is that there's no crumbs. What do you think?

Source: Telegraph

Image: Amazon

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Model Defends Her Decision Not to Breastfeed

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 12 May 2009 18:30:00 GMT

It couldn’t be clearer to me (and to millions of husbands around the world) that breastfeeding does not make breasts less sexy. Just ask Selma Hayek.

But for British model and reality TV star Nicola McLean, breasts are a purely “sexual thing.” On her decision to bottle feed her three-year-old son, McLean said, “I just didn’t like the thought of my child feeding off [my boobs].”

Fair enough. There are infinite legitimate reasons to choose not to breastfeed, and if McLean believes breastfeeding would interfere with her sex life with her husband, fine by me. It’s her body.

Still, I can’t help but point out that McLean’s reasoning has at least one paramount loophole. It’s not as if her body was stripped of its sexuality after she carried a baby for nine months and gave birth. And while I have no problem with her individual decision, I do have a serious problem with treating mother’s bodies as desexualized.

A commenter on Jezebel raised the important point (based only on anecdotal evidence) that younger mothers are more likely to share McLean’s attitude about breastfeeding. She wrote: “I was doing my rotation in the mother/infant unit of the hospital, the majority of teenaged/young adult mothers refused to breastfeed. They saw their breasts as a sexual tool without any utilitarian function. It was nearly impossible to convince them otherwise.” My friend, who works with young mothers at a family planning clinic, has witnessed this same attitude.

When any attitude about breastfeeding becomes deeply ingrained, it becomes increasingly difficult for women to make an individual decision based solely on their own bodies and belief systems. After all, part of the reason that Selma Hayek chose to breastfeed a baby in Sierra Leone was to combat the urban legend that women can’t have sex while they’re nursing.

What do you think about McLean’s admission? Is it a perfectly legitimate personal choice or very problematic thinking?

Photo: Top News

Did This Woman Commit Suicide Because She Couldn't Breastfeed?

Brett Singer — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:37:00 GMT

MomLogic points us to a sad story from the Daily Mail. Katy Isden, a British woman who lived in New York City, committed suicide last year. The police report says that she depressed because she was having difficulty breastfeeding her child.

Before I say anything, this is a terribly sad story. It's awful that Ms. Isden felt so horrible that she ended her life.

The only thing wrong about that last statement is that I really don't know why she killed herself. I realize that the report says it was because she had trouble breastfeeding. By framing the issue this way, doesn't that help to create more pressure for women? Not only is there pressure from "nipple-nazis", but there's pressure to not feel pressured.

Why not call it post-partum depression? I interviewed Lisa Rinna recently about her upcoming book (an interview she was very happy with, by the way -- she even tweeted it) and one of the things she talked about openly was her own battle with PPD. She said that she felt uncomfortable telling anyone she was depressed, because "After having a baby, you're supposed to feel so blissful." By talking about her own experiences, she hopes that other women will be able to seek help if they need it.

MomLogic asks if "there is too much pressure put on moms to breastfeed." I have a different question. Do you think this mother committed suicide because she was having trouble breastfeeding?

Source: Daily Mail via MomLogic

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Playdate: Breastfeeding Bonds for Better Mom-Kid Relationships?

JeanneSager — Wed, 06 May 2009 20:32:00 GMT

I've read a lot more blogs since I took over the "What They're Babbling About" section for Strollerderby, and Breastfeeding Moms Unite! was sent my way via a "friend" on Twitter.

Not afraid to take on some of the bigger breastfeeding topics, it's worth a read anytime. But one post in particular caught my attention this week.

She asks women today if they were breasted . . . and how their relationships are with their mothers.

It's nothing scientific, and she makes clear she's not actually attributing her lack of a perfect relationship with her mother to her mom's decision NOT to breastfeed. Why then, I wondered, did she even bring it up?

Curiosity, it sounds like. And it is interesting to ponder - although entirely inconclusive. I was breastfed until just shy of the year mark. So was my brother. Neither of us has a terribly great relationship with our mother (his is better than mine). I tried breastfeeding and failed at it, and I would like to think a good relationship with my daughter is possible - at least something akin to what we have now. (I asked my husband, by the way, if he was breastfed, and he had no idea - and his mom breastfed into the toddler stage).

What's bothered me most about so many pro-breastfeeding mantras isn't the idea that breastfeeding is good for kids (because it is!) but the idea that it promotes better bonding between mother and child. Do they bond? Certainly. But better bonding? Isn't that a little subjective? A little "well, my kid loves me best?"

Because, try as we might, as parents, we can't control the feelings of our kids or the personalities of our kids. Some parents and children have horrible relationships because of bonds during childhood that were TOO tightly woven (think helicopter parenting), others clash because they as people are simply too alike. There's also the mere fact that as human beings, we all relate differently to one another.

Our own personalities as parents are distinctly different. Our personalities mesh differently with our different kids. I know some readers will take this as an attack on breastfeeding, so again, please understand, I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for women who do it (and something every woman should try to do). But reading through the comments on the BMU site, I pondered once again how much pressure we are putting on one small part of childhood to solve life's problems.

Take this comment: "Had I been weaned as an infant, I’m not sure I would have maintained that physical closeness with my mom. She let me breastfeed as long and as often as I needed or wanted, and I do feel that that contributed to my feeling that she was always available to me, throughout my life."

That's just one opinion, but it struck me as a perfect example of the attempts to make breastfeeding into a panacea. God forbid her mother stopped at, say one year, perfectly acceptable according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, and just showered her with love, affection and a roof over her head, clothes on her back? That wouldn't be enough to retain a sense of physical closeness with her?

As one friend said when I mentioned the idea of breastfeeding in childhood in relation to an adult mother/child relationship, sometimes mothers are unhappy breastfeeders, women who did it because they knew it was best for their child's health, but end up resenting their children for a miserable eight, ten, twelve months. She posited her own mother probably had post partum depression and was not a happy breastfeeder. Today, they have a stilted relationship.

The best benefit of having a mother who breastfed? Besides the health benefits we got if we were breastfed? In my mind it's the positive role model, the knowledge that someone we know did it and made it work. If we're lucky, when it comes time to breastfeed, we have a good enough relationship with that woman (our mother) to turn to her for advice on how to proceed ourselves.

But if a mom wasn't breastfed, will it make or break her relationship? Take this comment over at the BMU site and ponder it. I think it answers it quite nicely: "You may simply be posing the question of whether or not breastfeeding can make a significant impact on mother-daughter relationships but I believe the answer has long been apparent in the relationships between women and adopted daughters."

Image: EcoStreet

They Say: Breast or Binky? Both.

Amy Kuras — Tue, 05 May 2009 18:35:00 GMT

Nursing mothers everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief: Pacifier use doesn’t appear to hurt breastfeeding at all.

Lactation consultants and other breastfeeding experts tell us that using a pacifier will lead to “nipple confusion” and keep a baby from establishing nursing well. So researchers at the University of Virginia School of Medicine reviewed 29 studies form 12 countries and found no real evidence of a link between pacifier use and problems breastfeeding. They did find that women who used pacifiers for their babies did stop breastfeeding earlier, but pacifier use didn’t appear to be the reason.

I wonder if that’s because women who ignored the advice and used a pacifier anyway (raising hand) were less likely to be breastfeeding zealots anyway?

I used a pacifier with both kids and feel little guilt about it, because quite frankly it helped me breastfeed longer. Both babies went through a phase where they wanted to be on the boob constantly right when I was still adjusting to nursing and had sore and even bleeding nipples and was generally miserable. If I’d had to pacify them with nursing alone I would have said “screw it” and given up. Being able to pop a binky in their mouth so I could get a break and they could get their powerful sucking needs met made everybody happier. And beyond the whole early misery thing, we never had any trouble once we got past the beginning in terms of nipple confusion or anything else.

Now, of course, the issue is going to be getting my son off the binky…but that’s another post.

Moms Taking Drugs to Stop Lactation

SunnyChanel — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 22:40:00 GMT

Wouldn’t it be nice if your body retained its shape after having a baby? But unless you’re up for a surgical nip and tuck, you’re stuck. Some medically experimental new mothers in the United Kingdom are trying to fight the effects that breastfeeding has on their boobs by taking drugs originally intended for HIV positive women to stop the ability to lactate.

The anti-lactation drug is called cabergoline and it suppresses the production of proloactin. Although its’ general use is for those who are HIV positive (since HIV can be passed via breastmilk), it is now being prescribed to moms for what they call ‘social reasons’. Instead of just letting nature take its course and let their milk ‘dry up’, busy mums are taking this shortcut to avoid engorged breasts, discomfort and the ‘myth’ that breastfeeding is what leads to less than perky breasts.

A obstetrician in London who has prescribed the drug to women who couldn’t or wouldn’t breastfeed told the Daily Mail - Sunday Times that, “the breastfeeding police frown on the use of cabergoline…but for some women their breasts are an important part of their sexuality and they don't want to use them to provide milk.” He continued to claim that, “there is not enough difference between breast milk and infant formula to make a fuss about it.”

Do you think a drug induced lactation cessation is valid or should nature take its course?

Source

Mom Uses Breastfeeding as Weapon in Custody Battle

JeanneSager — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:01:00 GMT

The story is full of bad breastfeeding puns (that, honestly cracked me up), but an interesting case came up in the Globe and Mail this weekend. A mom has made her breastfeeding schedule so rigorous that the ex-boyfriend who fathered their child has been essentially totally cut off from spending any time with his daughter.

A judge has decided enough is enough. Either wean your child or start pumping honey, because Daddy's got to have a go.

Jennifer Johne and Carl Cavannah were together only briefly, but their relationship resulted in the birth of a little girl in June 2006. Although the couple was broken up, Cavannah made it clear he wanted to be in their daughter's life, even quitting his job so he could move closer to Johne and the little girl. He volunteered (volunteered!) to pay child support, and bought books on parenting.

But Johne told him he couldn't take the little girl anywhere, because she needed be with mom to be breastfed. The Globe and Mail cites an e-mail from Johne to Cavannah that makes it pretty clear she was about to sway on the issue: "A baby belongs with its mother, and if you had an understanding of the needs of a fully breast-fed baby and truly had [her] interests at heart, you would not be bringing this subject up again."

Now with the baby ~~facing~~ past her second birthday, the date the World Health Organization suggests breastfeeding up to, a judge has said it's over. Johne can breastfeed her toddler if she wants to, but she has to do it via pumped milk, so Cavannah can spend some real time with his daughter.

Frankly, I'm surprised he waited this long to "bring this subject up again." Because as wonderful as breastfeeding is (and this is very definitely not a breastfeeding vs. formula post), it's also pretty darn great for a child to have their biological parent who WANTS to be in the picture and has demonstrated themselves to be a a willing and able participant in their life. If anything, this mother is proving not how important it is to breastfeed but the theories of those women who would say breastfeeding chains them to their child.

Because while there are the bonding elements of breastfeeding, the larger part of the argument has always been that breastmilk itself is healthier than formula. So pumping and handing it over to her ex-boyfriend to feed their daughter would still make this child a "full breast-fed baby," albeit one who had the opportunity to bond with both her mother AND her father during her formative years.

Johne actually works in a daycare (which enabled her to keep her daughter around her so constantly), where she sees perfectly healthy and able children who are not attached to the mother's breast constantly.

What irks me about this story? This is a woman who has put breastfeeding above everything else. She's taken "breast is best" to an extreme that's unhealthy, and makes a bad name for breastfeeders everywhere.

Image: EcoStreet

Also on Babble:

The Backlash to Breast is Best

Breastfeeding Benefits For Moms Greater Than Previously Believed

Kate Tuttle — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:01:00 GMT

Not that you needed another reason to choose breastfeeding -- or pat yourself on the back if you did/do, or feel horribly guilty and pissed off if you didn't/don't -- but this week came news reports of even more dramatic health benefits for moms who breastfeed. The new study, published in the May issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology, found that women who had breastfed were less likely to develop high blood pressure, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease than their non-nursing counterparts, and that the effect increases with increasing duration of breastfeeding.

The study looked at the data of 139,681 post-menopausal women whose health records have been followed as part of the Women's Health Initiative. Those who breastfed for more than a year over the course of their lives, the study found, were almost ten times less likely to suffer a heart attack or stroke than those who hadn't nursed at all, and they were 20 percent less likely to have diabetes, 12 percent less likely to have hypertension, 19 percent less likely to have high cholesterol. Even one month of breastfeeding was associated with lowered rates of diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

Studies like this are often criticized for offering correlation but not causation -- they are not constructed as a double-blind study with controls, and so it's hard to tease out just which health benefits come from breastfeeding and which tend to go along with being the type of mother for whom breastfeeding is a priority (breastfeeding rates are much higher for richer, better-educated women overall). As one doctor told the New York Times, those who breastfeed “may be healthier women who take better care of themselves." True -- but the fact that this survey breaks down rates among women who nursed a little and those who nursed a lot may tend to argue for an actual medical difference, a mechanism by which breastfeeding protects women who do it (and offers more and more protection the more one does it). It's a nice study to show to anyone whose mother-in-law keeps asking, "haven't you weaned that child yet?"

More by this author:

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Why Are We So Shocked When Women Kill?

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iPhone Making Parents Everywhere More Helpless?

JeanneSager — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:07:00 GMT

Who knows how mothers managed before the days of the iPhone.

If the Baby Brain iPhone app is any indication, we left them sitting in poopy diapers all day and neglected to nurse!

Designed to help new parents break through the fog of the newborn phase, the app lets you track track feedings, diapers, and sleep. Sent to us by a reader who I'm sure has the best intentions, I'm just not sure how many parents will find this useful.

Maybe I'm the only parent out there who didn't log everything my daughter did as a baby? I had one sitter who gave me a list of every time my daughter had a bowel movement (which she sweetly marked "BM" with a smiley face) and a full description of each. My reaction? Er, OK. Just telling me she had some poopy diapers would have been enough for me.

Nor did I ever find myself writing down how much she ate per feeding or how long she ate for (which, by the way, they say is counterproductive for breastfeeders). And my pediatrician never asked for specifics unless there was something wrong.

I can relate to swimming along in a sleepless fog after my daughter was born, but if multi-tasking diapers and feedings is too much for you, I have a piece of advice: put down the iPhone and give your texting thumbs a rest.

What do you think, parents, will you be downloading this one to get you through the day? It's about to be available on iTunes, so if it's for you, have at!

Image: Baby Brain

Finish Line - Pirates Are Back

Brett Singer — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 02:15:00 GMT

One of the fun parts of blogging (especially for Babble, which has the greatest blogs on this or any other planet) is being surprised by the reactions to a post.

Case in point: Shannon's Pirates Are Not Appropriate for Kids (and Other Ranting), which generated a lot of chatter. Who knew?

I would have thought that Jeanne's brilliantly titled post Breastfeeding Debates: Just a Tempest in a Sippy Cup? would have created more comments. Then again, it's hard to argue with the statement, "Do we really care what another mother does with her boobs?" (I do, but I'm a guy. Wait. Ignore that sentence. Everyone do what you want to do with your boobs. They belong to you. Oooo boy.)

Hannah tells us about a petting zoo that, frankly, sounds a bit scary. (Would You Take Your Kids to a Petting Zoo with Lions, Tigers, and Bears?) Then again, I won't go on Space Mountain at Disney World. So maybe I'm not the best judge.

Jen asked a good question with The Holiday Dilemma: When Parental Gift-Giving Goes Too Far. Easter presents. Who knew? I'm still trying to convince the wife that we can get Easter baskets for the kids even though we're Jewish. So far all I've managed to do is buy (and eat) a lot of Peeps.

Jen also gave us The Five Peanuts TV Specials That Never Should Have Been. Personally, I'm in favor of more and more Peanuts specials, and I even enjoy the mediocre ones. (I even like "Arbor Day.") This proves that sometimes we disagree and that there is no Babble Hive Mind.

Mike questioned the notion of Terrible Twos with Terrible Twos: Myth or Kicking. Your. A@!? Personally, I found two to be easier than three. Of course, neither of my children are teenagers yet. If they're anything like me, I'm thinking Terrible Thirteens, Fourteens, Fifteens...

Madeline gives us her take on Dr. Laura with Stay-At-Home Moms are the Best, Aren't They! Madeline starts with "Oh, for God's sake, Dr. Laura, put a lid on it." But then she says that she really agrees with everything the Doc says. OK, no she doesn't. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention. The comments are numerous and terrific: for example, "Whatever" says that "Maybe my daughter is in daycare, but at least she won't grow up acting like a sanctimonious ass-hat." I want to start a band named "Sanctimonious Ass-hat." Ah, goals.

As for myself, I took a more lighthearted approach to pirates by telling you about the release of Tina Fey's Sesame Street appearance on DVD. (Special thanks to Jezebel for the linkee dink.)

What will next week bring? I don't know but I promise you one thing -- I will do everything in my power not to use the phrase "linkee dink." No idea where that came from.

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What They're Babbling About: Bring It On Home

JeanneSager — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:29:00 GMT

Want another helping of our trip around the 'net? As always, we offer up our Friday look at What They're Babbling About:

Tired of tripping over Legos? It doesn't take much convincing that a toy-free room in your house is good for mom and dad. . . if you can convince your kids. - ParentDish

Need a little something to get the girls going (and yes, that's a euphemism guys). Get the breastmilk a flowin' with this list. - LilSugar

Earth Day is every day, so get green with this global craft project - they'll have the whole world in their hands. - Momformation

We have ALL been there - we're finally parents and our parents want to step in and tell us how it's done. Back of Mom! - CafeMom

We've all been here too - moms are addicted to the Internet (er, guilty). So what is it doing to our kids? - Parenting

Get off the computer and get out to the sandbox - and fill it with what? They're building a list, they're making it bigger... - Apartment Ohdeedoh

Image: Momformation

What Should A Man Do While A Woman Breastfeeds

Brett Singer — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Scene: a toddler's birthday party. A father is chatting with a woman that he knows from the kids' pre-school. The woman is holding a baby.

The baby stirs. Opens her tiny mouth. Starts... what was the word again?

Oh! Right. Rooting. When they're hungry. That's it.

The woman starts to undo her shirt. Then her bra. She takes out her breast and the baby eagerly starts to eat.

OK dude. Now what?

I'm a fan of breastfeeding in general. I don't think anyone should be pressured into doing it but I believe that it's healthy for the baby, and if the mother is able to do it, that's great. I also believe that women should be able to breastfeed wherever they want. (Maybe not on a Broadway stage while the show is going on, or even in the audience of the theater while the show is going on. But the lower lobby? Sure.) So this isn't about that.

The question is, which is more offensive? Looking? Or looking away?

I don't have an answer, so I'm curious what our readers think. In general it seems rude to head for ze hills as soon as the little one starts her liquid lunch. On the other hand, if I'm standing and the woman is seated, it's difficult to talk to her without seeing her breast. Which in any other situation is considered quite rude. This isn't a sexual thing. I don't think breastfeeding is hot, or inappropriate, or anything of that sort. At the same time I don't know how a woman feels about being on display like that. Or even if they feel on display at all.

So. Help me out here! What's the right thing to do?

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The Nursing Room Locator

SunnyChanel — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

If you aren’t one who feels comfortable breastfeeding here, there and everywhere, a quiet comfortable and semi-private place to feed your baby is an appreciated respite.

The Nursing Room Locator is a site dedicated to collecting the locations and details of places all of the US where a nursing mother can go to feed their baby. There are a list of cites, states and baby friendly businesses like Ikea, Nordstoms and Motherhood Maternity as well as public gathering places like museums, amusement parks, and religious institutions.

Universal Studios in Orlando, FL was called a “nursing nirvana” with such perks as a glider rocker, a basket of children’s books, a dimmer switch to adjust the light and pillows (with disposable covers). Whereas Knotts Berry Farm in Buena Park, CA, the nursing area features a curtained off area with “two rocking chairs facing each other” and … “it was dirty and not air conditioned.” And in Southern California, they really should have some kind of cool air piped in.

The simple site continues to be updated with new additions from readers all over the place. If you once breastfed, currently are, or are planning too, would you find such a database useful?

Breastfeeding Debates: Just a Tempest in a Sippy Cup?

JeanneSager — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 14:23:00 GMT

Here's the thing about the breast is best debate. Do we really care what another mother does with her boobs?

No, really. You might say you care that she gets the best medical advice, that that precious little baby gets the best start to life. But when your kid and her kid sit side by side in kindergarten, holding hands, is it really going to matter who did what on day thirty-six of that baby's life?

Sometime Babble contributor Lynn Harris turned her often irreverant sense of humor to the oh so serious topic of breastfeeding on NPR this week, and though she treats the subject with all due respect (she is, after all, a mother), she pokes her fun where it's due. The breastfeeding debate, she says, is nothing but "a tempest in a sippy cup."

For MOST women, it isn't about whether or not they think breastfeeding is good for babies, or even whether they WANT to do it. Says Harris:

"Because we don't read the Journal of the American Medical Association to decide whether, or how long, to breast-feed. We consider our bodies: Are we physically able to nurse in the first place? Or are we plagued, as I was with my first child, by plugged ducts and serious mastitis? We consider the child: Did we, luck of the draw, get one who just says no to latching? We consider our workplace: How long is our maternity leave? Where can we pump when we go back?"

And that, my friends, is where the debate needs to take a hike. You want to breastfeed? You made it work? Woohoo! Fabulous! Really. I'm not being facetious here. I'm happy for you that you are able to nourish your child with your breastmilk, that you have got the latch down and find the appropriate place to pump if need be.

Not breastfeeding? Didn't want to? OK, well, that's your choice. Did want to, but couldn't? I'm sorry, is there anything we can do? Other than berating you and telling you you're feeding your child pure evil in liquid form and forcing you onto mega doses of Paxil to handle your postpartum depression caused by feelings of inadequacy?

Here's why everyone needs to read Harris' essay: she puts blame where blame is due. On the crappy advice in hospitals. On the crappy employers who don't give moms appropriate time for pumping. On the family medical leave act's lack of depth and the lack of paid leave time available for new mothers. On the public breastfeeding conundrum, especially for women who are shy and uncomfortable out in the public eye.

"Show me a lactation room at the Qwik Mart, and I'll show you a woman more willing to leave the maternity ward without her care package of free formula," Harris says (see, told you she was a bit irreverant).

Come on moms, let's look at who you're really mad at. It's not each other.

Image/Source: NPR

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(Public) Breastfeeding Now Legal in Massachusetts!

Kate Tuttle — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Okay, so that's a slightly misleading headline (shocking, I know!). Breastfeeding has never been illegal here, or really anywhere. But until and unless individual states pass laws specifically exempting them, breastfeeding mothers have always been vulnerable to prosection under laws against obscenity and "lewd behavior." The Massachusetts law, signed in January, went into effect last week and its sponsors hope it will not only protect individual mothers, but nurture a more pro-breastfeeding culture.

From the Boston Globe article:

Up till now, women who breastfed their babies in public could have been prosecuted for indecent exposure or lewd conduct. If convicted, they could even have been forced to register as sex offenders, proponents of the bill said.

The new law authorizes breastfeeding in public places and makes it clear it is not illegal.

"This law is a long time in coming. The idea behind this law is to make sure that women who want to breastfeed their children aren't prevented from doing that. And the message should go out that security guards and storekeepers and even police officers don't have the right to prevent a woman from breastfeeding her child," said Representative David Linsky, a Natick Democrat who backed the bill.

This isn't the first state law to specificially exempt nursing moms from anti-obscenity laws -- 40 other states have passed similar legislation, most in the past decade and a half -- and at this point it's more interesting to see which states do not provide such protection: Idaho, Michigan, Nebraska, North Dakota, South Dakota, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia. Indications are that most of them will follow suit. Perhaps most illustrative, though, is the lingering objection to such laws, as seen in the fact that it took eight years of sponsors putting up the Massachusetts bill before it was finally signed into law, and as currently seen in the comments section following the Globe article online. While many were very positive ("at last!" "yay!" "this is a great day"), a surprising number expressed outrage that women can now nurse in public without fear of harrassment or even arrest.

A sampling:

"I am a mother of two and i find it disgusting when a woman breastfeeds in public. People take this to an extreme and are practically nude! I do not want my boys to have to see this."

"Show a little respect for those of us who don't want to be subjected to this wonderful bonding experience. I think that breast feeding should be done in private. Nothing is the world is more awkward than running into a woman breast feeding a child. I most certainly do not want to have to explain to my young children why this person is exposing her private parts in public. My parents raised all of us on bottles and we turned out just fine. If you made the choice to go "natural" that so be it, but do not cram your choice down our throats."

"And really...would it be that hard to just use a bottle when you are out in public? I mean really??"

Leaving aside the extreme ignorance of how breastfeeding works -- as if nursing mothers should all want to bottle feed as well? -- it's fascinating to me how many of the commenters are worried about their small children being exposed to breastfeeding. Um, I get it that most of those objections come from parents who themselves used bottles, but why do they assume their children would share their discomfort -- at least, until they teach it to them, as they so obviously will. Babble readers, what do you think? Is it damaging for a child to see another child nursing with its mother? If so, why? And if not, what's the best come-back you can think of to some parent who gives you the stink-eye while breastfeeding in the same vicinity as their children?

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What They're Babbling About: David's Back at the Dentist and We Rant

JeanneSager — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:26:00 GMT

It's a random round-up in this week's edition of What They're Babbling About - nothing ties them together - other than parenting of course. So let's dig in.

Thought David Goes to the Dentist was hilarious? It gets better - someone's mashed up David with the Christian Bale rant. Warning - kick the kids out of the room, and do not play this one at work! - YouTube

We've all been there - pissed beyond belief, pissed beyond compare . . . sound kind of like Christian Bale. So how do you rein in the rant when your kids are around? Stamp down the steaming streaming with these tricks. - Parent Dish

Just don't use the brake pedal for discipline - or you'll end up in the slammer with this bus driver. - Parent Dish

Think the ranting over Madonna adopting out-of-country is over the top? This mom thinks that's just another road that will lead the reduction in reproductive choice. Weigh in here. - Proud Parenting

Since we're talking taboos, is money no object these days. . . conversation-wise? Everyone's moaning about the economy, so is this mom right in finding more room to talk about family finances out and about? - Work It, Mom

Ready to get this kid out of you but not willing to try something crazy? Find out what doctors say is a no-fail way to get the baby moving, and what one moms says it did to her. - LilSugar

And since that will generally lead to breastfeeding, my favorite pick of the day - what to do when a mother is breastfeeding next to you on an airplane. A primer for all you lucky ducks on your way home from spring break. Hint: it's not looking around uncomfortably. - Sustainable Mothering

Another Hospital Baby Mix-Up, Now With Added Racism!

Kate Tuttle — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:01:00 GMT

Despite all the modern technology that's meant to keep newborns from being given to the wrong parents in the hospital, there seems to be a rash of inadvertent baby swaps going on. The latest took place in New Hampshire, at the Portsmouth Regional Hospital, late last month. And the parents of the newborn in question -- a baby girl who was handed to the wrong mother for either five minutes (according to the hospital) or significantly longer (according to her parents) -- are hopping mad.

Calling it "every parent's worst nightmare," the father has taken to the media to publicize the mistake, because, he says, "the public has a right to know." Also, I'm guessing, to lay the groundwork for a lawsuit. Because here's the crux of the matter: when their baby, whom they had sent back to the nursery after the mother had ("reluctantly"!) taken a sleeping pill, was given to another mother, that mother did something truly horrific. She breastfed the baby. Now the parents are waiting for results of tests for HIV and Hepatitis C (despite the fact that doctors estimate a risk of HIV transmission at one thousandth of one percent per liter of breastmilk consumed). They are terrified the other mother took drugs during her pregnancy (although it's not clear how this would affect their baby). They feel violated, assaulted, scared. The father says his wife is "physically sick" over it.

Could it be because they are both white, and the other couple is a white woman and a black man? I'm sensitive to making unwarranted charges of racism (it's too easy, and not fair), but in this case it's hard to escape the feeling that the parents' overwrought horror of contagion may have something to do with their (all white! 100% caucasian!) baby's having been sullied by the possibly unclean nipple of a race traitor, a nipple meant for another, darker baby. The racial difference has the white baby's parents especially confused as to how the other mother (and the nurse) could have made this error. Why didn't she notice, he asks, and "give our baby back?"

The thing is, biracial babies aren't necessarily any darker at birth than white babies -- believe me, I've given birth to both! My children, born 13 years apart and with different husbands, looked enough alike as newborns to be twins, and it's a well-known fact that many black and biracial babies don't come into their skin tone until they're older. At any rate, newborns are newborns -- the reason hospitals go to such trouble to set up systems to avoid baby-swapping is because they do tend to look so much alike.

Of course, now I guess I'll have to believe something a little bit uglier: that hospital policies to avoid baby mix-ups exist to allay the fears of parents who think that another woman nursing their child for five minutes is their "worst nightmare" (I can think of worse, and have friends who have lived through worse, and I'm sure you all do, too). I genuinely hope this is the worst thing that ever happens to this family; if it is, they'll have lived a blessed life.

Babies Switched in NYC Hospital

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Babies Switched In NYC Hospital

JeanneSager — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:52:00 GMT

Let me just say that part of this story is absolutely awful - that a maternity ward's security practices could fail so miserably that two newborn babies are mixed up for several hours is criminal.

HOWEVER, every time I hear a re-telling of the story of Shatiesha Brown's baby being given to the wrong mom in the New York City hospital's maternity ward, I am more mystified by her misplaced anger.

Brown told a NYC news station that she was outraged that her little girl, Aniya Victoria, was breastfed by another woman at Brookside Hospital.

OK, so what? I'd be flipping a lid over the fact that my newborn child was given to someone else to begin with. That she was breastfed by that woman. . . eh. . . as long as the woman had no communicable diseases, who cares?

The thing is, Shatiesha Brown was told by her doctors that her dangerously high blood pressure had to be monitored. For twenty-four hours, they said, she would have to be separated from her newborn. It's during that period when hospital staff apparently took little Aniya Victoria to the room of another new mom, whose last name was also Brown and whose first initial was also S. The other new mom breastfed the baby and posed for pictures before the mistake was discovered.

Now Shatiesha is claiming that her daughter suffered nipple confusion and that the hospital ruined all her plans to breastfeed the little girl with the mistake. "The bond that you have when you breastfeed your child, that's everything," she told ABC 7.

Except that's not how nipple confusion works. Moving from breast to breast isn't an issue - if it was, babies would have trouble moving from the right side to the left on a mom who has different shaped or sized nipples (which is actually most of the population). Nipple confusion comes into play when a newborn baby feeds from an artificial nipple - which Aniya Victoria would have done ANYWAY if mom and baby were to be separated for twenty-four hours. Even then, babies can still make the switch, albeit with some difficulty, and many women report successful breastfeeding of a year or more after their baby received an artificial nipple during the very early days of life.

The mother I feel for is the one who breastfed Aniya Victoria . . . while her own baby lay in the nursery, missing out on the colostrum that's chock full of nutrients and antibodies.

Shatiesha is suing, of course (doesn't everyone?). I agree she has grounds to demand the hospital be held accountable for the mix-up itself, but I'm smelling a cock and bull story here.

Would you be more upset over the mix-up or the fact that your child fed at someone else's breast?

Image: ABC

Finish Line - Our Week In Review

Brett Singer — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 00:30:00 GMT

Back with a vengeance -- and the best of intentions -- we proudly bring you Finish Line, a weekly round-up of what we've writen the past week here on StrollerDerby.

Jeanne told us about a baby whose lack of a biological mother hasn't prevented him from being breastfed. By six different women, no less.
Amy got people talking when she asked "What Advice Did You Ignore?"
Shannon says that parents who help with homework might be no help at all. (It's more complicated than that, read her post to see why.)
Mike gets all serious when he tells us about "Autism and Links to Violence, a True Story".
Abortion! Now that I've got your attention, read Kate's post about a doctor on trial for performing the late-term variety.
Cole spills the beans on all of the stuff they don't tell you about becoming a parent. (Spoiler alert: the fact that kids are cute and sometimes stinky is not on the list. Cuz everybody knows that.)
And I pointed out that Baby Einstein doesn't just want your money -- they want you to feel good about giving it to them.

More next week -- have a great weekend everyone.

Motherless Baby Breastfed By Six Women Each Day

JeanneSager — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:02:00 GMT

A baby without a mom. A bunch of moms still breastfeeding their own babies. It was just meant to be.

You don't hear about death during childbirth much anymore, (and thank goodness for that), but when Susan Goodrich lost her life shortly after giving birth to her son, one of her most important wishes for her child was fulfilled by a band of impromptu wet nurses, moms who heard a baby needed their help.

Charles Moses Martin Goodrich was born on Jan. 11, but when his dad said he wanted the boy to receive breastmilk right off the bat, he was told the hospital didn't have a milkbank. A delivery could come in from elsewhere in Michigan, but it would take several days to ship.

Then Robbie Goodrich got a call of condolence from a friend, a mom who was still nursing her one-year-old daughter. Anything the family needed, she said, anything. . . even her breastmilk. It's when Robbie told his hometown paper that things clicked - he realized other moms might want to help him in his plight, and he called on a family friend to help him round up moms with something to give.

The found twenty total women who set up a schedule - six times a day, Charles has been fed by a different woman (that's one of the volunteers pictured). And by fed, I mean actually suckling at the breast.That is the most incredible part of the story to me - that these women don't just pump their milk and ship it over. With children at home (obviously), they drop everything to drive to the Goodrich home and allow a stranger's baby to nurse. It's the kind of love only a parent could muster for a child - but these aren't his parents!

At night, his father feeds him with bottles of milk pumped by the volunteers, and Charles is a happy, healthy baby despite his rough start to life.

The subject became controversial recently with Salma Hayek's highly publicized feeding of another woman's child, which some called a publicity stunt. There's no way these nameless women could be accused of the same thing. More to the point, what they're doing is life-sustaining while Hayek's one-off feeding was not going to drastically change a child's life.

What do you think of this? Would you do it? Or would you just pump your milk and send it over?

Image/Source: The Mining Journal

They Say: Blame Hospitals for Breastfeeding Failures

JeanneSager — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 15:31:00 GMT

Reading this study, I couldn't help but feel a little vindicated. I've always felt like a big fat failure at breastfeeding - despite all my best efforts, I didn't make it very long. And I put a lot of that blame on the misinformation swirling around the maternity ward where I gave birth to my daughter.

Guess what?

A new study says hospitals are largely to blame for the failure of breastfeeding moms in America. And that includes hospitals where attempts are being made to encourage breastfeeding.

The study by the Boston University School of Public Health looked at data on some fifteen hundred women in the nation who had recently given birth. At least seventy percent of first-time moms said they wanted to breastfeed exclusively. Good news, right? Except by the time the babies were a week old, only HALF of the women were exclusively breastfeeding.

Guilty as charged.

Which is why even this article about the study made me angry. One of the chief problems I've found with many maternity wards (not all, but many) is the lack of breastfeeding education for members of the staff. And the same misinformation peddled in hospitals that hurts breastfeeding rates is being pushed out in articles like this one: ie. "some new mothers really are too exhausted to breast feed right away, or they can't produce enough breast milk for their baby's nutritional needs."

No. No. No. No.

I heard this in the hospital after my daughter was born, and I bought it hook, line and sinker. It's one of the main reasons I exhausted myself in the first two weeks of my daughter's life, attempting to breastfeed every two hours, attempting to pump every other hour to increase my milk production because the nurses at the hospital had me convinced I wasn't producing enough. Yes, that meant I was up every hour on the hour for two solid weeks - I was literally tethered to the breast pump.

The problem? Most women DON'T produce milk in the first few days of their child's life. We produce colostrum, the incredibly rich and incredibly thin liquid that's a sort of pre-milk. And that's all the baby needs. As breastfeeding expert Laura Keegan said in a recent piece I wrote about the most common hurdles for new moms right here on Babble, "If you are pumping, be aware that pumping small amounts is not an indicator of a low milk supply."

Colustrum is in every breastfeeding book out there, so why don't nurses working on maternity wards know about it? Although I don't agree that formula is poison, I will say that convincing a mother she isn't making enough . . . so she needs to supplement . . . is poisoning her mind. Her body CAN'T make more, and she's being told she's a failure. Yet, her body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do.

What else is wrong with the above statment? The idea that moms are too exhausted immediately following birth to breastfeed. Yes, we're tired. But after that first feed, so is the baby. In fact, while nurses at my hospital practically tanned the hides of my husband and myself for not waking our daughter every two hours to eat, newborn babies are exhausted too. They just went through the same labor Mom went through. And so sleeping for a few hours is one hundred percent normal. Babies will not starve if they suckle only a few times at the very beginning. And Mom, by the way, may be exhausted. I was. But I've yet to see a mother who isn't on drugs from a C-section or already showing severe signs of postpartum depression who isn't itching to get her hands on that baby in the first twenty-four hours.

So sticking a bottle in the baby's mouth to let his mother sleep is wrong; she should have the chance to make that decision. But so is harping on a breastfeeding mother every few moments - pushing her to breastfeed now, when the baby is sleeping and she could be getting the sleep she missed when you woke her in the middle of the night for a feeding.

There is a movement that's gaining speed in American hospitals, sponsored by UNICEF, that can make all the difference. Baby Friendly Hospitals require all staff - be it the nurses, the doctors, whoever - have up-to-date breastfeeding education. They make lactation consultants available to every mother and allow babies to room-in with their mothers, so she can determine when the baby's hungry and when she wants to attempt feedings.

It takes effort to become Baby Friendly, but if breast is best is ever going to really take hold, misinformation has to stop at the beginning - the place where the baby is born. When you're losing the mothers (like me) who walk in the door with the very best of intentions, the women who already know breast is best and WANT to make it work, you have to step back and realize the machine is broken. It's time to fix it.

Images: BabyFriendlyUSA

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What They're Babbling About: Pregnancy, the Good, the Bad and the Newly Born

JeanneSager — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:26:00 GMT

Without pregnancy, there wouldn't be a parenting blog for y'all to read, so today's What They're Babbling About goes full bore on making baby.

Most of us would pay beaucoup bucks to keep the cameras at bay during pregnancy. But when the fantastic photog is the baby's daddy, and he writes weekly love notes like this, I think even a pregnancy-induced zitfest could look beautiful - Pacing the Panic Room

Whatever modesty you had pre-pregnancy is gone by the time it comes to the pushing. We'd bare it in Macy's window if it would just . . . make . . . it all go away. This mom came close - Macy's is less than a block from Penn Station, where one intrepid traveler gave birth. - Parent Dish

Breast is best, but what happens when the breastmilk has a toxo-load? Find out why moms are mulling contamination at the boob. - SuperEco

Ever heard two uglies make a pretty? Tell this girl - his ugly face and her ugly soul will make a pretty darn screwed up kid. - Jezebel

This is what we call recession maternity wear - making it work without going up a size. - LilSugar

So you think life is going to be boring now that you're giving up alcohol (for now, anyway) and spending every Friday night in front of Sesame Street? Guess again - changes are afoot. - MomLogic

Image: davhor

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They Say: Early Pacifier Use Can Undermine Breastfeeding

Kate Tuttle — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:31:00 GMT

Some parents swear by them, some swear at them, but pacifiers are a nearly universal symbol of babyhood. Now a new study by Danish researchers suggests what many have warned, that early use of pacifiers can be associated with shorter duration of breastfeeding. The study looked at data from visiting nurses who assess and assist all new mothers in Denmark, typically in the family's home around eight days after birth. The health visitors, specially trained in breastfeeding issues, specifically noted whether the baby was being offered a pacifier; two-thirds were.

Published reports about the study are notably light on details. But apparently the Danish study authors noted that early pacifier use correlated with shorter breastfeeding duration, and have advised that mothers wishing to nurse their babies should hold off on offering the pacifier in the first few weeks after birth.

At most U.S. hospitals, nurses still use pacifiers -- without parental notification or consent -- in the earliest hours and days of a baby's life. I'm fairly certain this was the case where my children were born (although nobody ever mentioned it to me one way or the other, the tiny green newborn Soothie was always right there in the bassinet). My kids were both massive nursers and refused the pacifier at home (they also refused bottles), so I don't believe their early introduction interrupted our nursing relationship; that said, it would be interesting to see a study of this sort in the U.S. Some lactation consultants here warn against their use, citing nipple confusion issues, but others hail them as a way for a baby to get its suck on while your nipples rest.

What do you say? Do pacifiers help or hinder the nursing cause?

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