Strollerderby : breastfeed

Did This Woman Commit Suicide Because She Couldn't Breastfeed?

Brett Singer — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:37:00 GMT

MomLogic points us to a sad story from the Daily Mail. Katy Isden, a British woman who lived in New York City, committed suicide last year. The police report says that she depressed because she was having difficulty breastfeeding her child.

Before I say anything, this is a terribly sad story. It's awful that Ms. Isden felt so horrible that she ended her life.

The only thing wrong about that last statement is that I really don't know why she killed herself. I realize that the report says it was because she had trouble breastfeeding. By framing the issue this way, doesn't that help to create more pressure for women? Not only is there pressure from "nipple-nazis", but there's pressure to not feel pressured.

Why not call it post-partum depression? I interviewed Lisa Rinna recently about her upcoming book (an interview she was very happy with, by the way -- she even tweeted it) and one of the things she talked about openly was her own battle with PPD. She said that she felt uncomfortable telling anyone she was depressed, because "After having a baby, you're supposed to feel so blissful." By talking about her own experiences, she hopes that other women will be able to seek help if they need it.

MomLogic asks if "there is too much pressure put on moms to breastfeed." I have a different question. Do you think this mother committed suicide because she was having trouble breastfeeding?

Source: Daily Mail via MomLogic

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What Should A Man Do While A Woman Breastfeeds

Brett Singer — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Scene: a toddler's birthday party. A father is chatting with a woman that he knows from the kids' pre-school. The woman is holding a baby.

The baby stirs. Opens her tiny mouth. Starts... what was the word again?

Oh! Right. Rooting. When they're hungry. That's it.

The woman starts to undo her shirt. Then her bra. She takes out her breast and the baby eagerly starts to eat.

OK dude. Now what?

I'm a fan of breastfeeding in general. I don't think anyone should be pressured into doing it but I believe that it's healthy for the baby, and if the mother is able to do it, that's great. I also believe that women should be able to breastfeed wherever they want. (Maybe not on a Broadway stage while the show is going on, or even in the audience of the theater while the show is going on. But the lower lobby? Sure.) So this isn't about that.

The question is, which is more offensive? Looking? Or looking away?

I don't have an answer, so I'm curious what our readers think. In general it seems rude to head for ze hills as soon as the little one starts her liquid lunch. On the other hand, if I'm standing and the woman is seated, it's difficult to talk to her without seeing her breast. Which in any other situation is considered quite rude. This isn't a sexual thing. I don't think breastfeeding is hot, or inappropriate, or anything of that sort. At the same time I don't know how a woman feels about being on display like that. Or even if they feel on display at all.

So. Help me out here! What's the right thing to do?

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Another Hospital Baby Mix-Up, Now With Added Racism!

Kate Tuttle — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:01:00 GMT

Despite all the modern technology that's meant to keep newborns from being given to the wrong parents in the hospital, there seems to be a rash of inadvertent baby swaps going on. The latest took place in New Hampshire, at the Portsmouth Regional Hospital, late last month. And the parents of the newborn in question -- a baby girl who was handed to the wrong mother for either five minutes (according to the hospital) or significantly longer (according to her parents) -- are hopping mad.

Calling it "every parent's worst nightmare," the father has taken to the media to publicize the mistake, because, he says, "the public has a right to know." Also, I'm guessing, to lay the groundwork for a lawsuit. Because here's the crux of the matter: when their baby, whom they had sent back to the nursery after the mother had ("reluctantly"!) taken a sleeping pill, was given to another mother, that mother did something truly horrific. She breastfed the baby. Now the parents are waiting for results of tests for HIV and Hepatitis C (despite the fact that doctors estimate a risk of HIV transmission at one thousandth of one percent per liter of breastmilk consumed). They are terrified the other mother took drugs during her pregnancy (although it's not clear how this would affect their baby). They feel violated, assaulted, scared. The father says his wife is "physically sick" over it.

Could it be because they are both white, and the other couple is a white woman and a black man? I'm sensitive to making unwarranted charges of racism (it's too easy, and not fair), but in this case it's hard to escape the feeling that the parents' overwrought horror of contagion may have something to do with their (all white! 100% caucasian!) baby's having been sullied by the possibly unclean nipple of a race traitor, a nipple meant for another, darker baby. The racial difference has the white baby's parents especially confused as to how the other mother (and the nurse) could have made this error. Why didn't she notice, he asks, and "give our baby back?"

The thing is, biracial babies aren't necessarily any darker at birth than white babies -- believe me, I've given birth to both! My children, born 13 years apart and with different husbands, looked enough alike as newborns to be twins, and it's a well-known fact that many black and biracial babies don't come into their skin tone until they're older. At any rate, newborns are newborns -- the reason hospitals go to such trouble to set up systems to avoid baby-swapping is because they do tend to look so much alike.

Of course, now I guess I'll have to believe something a little bit uglier: that hospital policies to avoid baby mix-ups exist to allay the fears of parents who think that another woman nursing their child for five minutes is their "worst nightmare" (I can think of worse, and have friends who have lived through worse, and I'm sure you all do, too). I genuinely hope this is the worst thing that ever happens to this family; if it is, they'll have lived a blessed life.

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UPDATE - Video Interview Of Woman Caught Driving And Breastfeeding

Brett Singer — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:00:00 GMT

UPDATE:

"If my child's hungry, I'm going to feed it."

Genine Compton, the Dayton, OH mother who was charged with child endangerment for breastfeeding her child while she was driving. Oh, she was also on the phone, but that's been pushed to the side for now.

See, Compton's kid is breastfed at this exact time each morning. The police don't really care what the reason is, it's dangerous, and also illegal. First, there's that whole carseat thing, but also "the danger [of] an accident [and] possible deployment of the airbag," according to police. Compton says it's the same thing if she gets hit with an airbag. She also says she'll do it again if she feels the need to do so.

The potential penalty of 180 days in jail would put a pretty big damper on the baby's eating schedule, although I suppose Compton could pump and then pass her milk through the bars for someone else to give to her child. Still, one would think that simply not breastfeeding while driving from now on would be a simpler solution.

Visit whiotv.com for the video.

Original post follows:

*-*-*-*-*-*

A woman in Ohio was driving while breastfeeding. Oh, and she was also talking on her cellphone.

To paraphrase my fellow Strollerderbian Jeanne Sager -- Now this is what I call multi-tasking.

I have a confession to make -- I've never breastfed, obviously, but I have given my infant son a bottle while talking on the phone. I wasn't driving, however. My way seems a little safer.

Driving While Breastfeeding would be DWB. I guess this could be DWBTC? Driving While Breastfeeding and Talking on a Cellphone?

The woman in question was allegedly caught in the act by a fellow motorist, who called the cops. The police then used the license plate number to track down the chatty momma. Her response? "39-year-old Genine Compton...told them she was breast-feeding and wouldn’t let her child go hungry."

Oh. OH. I see. Could you, perhaps, pull over to the side of the road? Just asking.

The charge is a misdemeanor, and the potential consequences are $1,800 fine and 180 days in jail. That seems like a lot of jail time for a misdemeanor, but what do I know.

Dayton police office Michael Burke pointed out that "the legal concern is that Compton had a child in her lap, not that she was breast-feeding in public." Well. Glad we cleared that up.

Source: MSNBC

Image: sxc.hu

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Salma Hayek Shines Spotlight on Breastfeeding Taboos

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:30:00 GMT

As most people know by now, Salma Hayek’s very public breastfeeding in Sierra Leone was not just a moment of compassion for a hungry child. It was that, but it was also a calculated—and noble—attempt to dispel the notion in some parts of Africa that breastfeeding women can’t have sex. Given this entrenched belief, you can probably guess how husbands feel about their wives breastfeeding.

It’s easy to see such an urban legend as shocking, but, as Ada Calhoun points out in TIME, the U.S. certainly has its fair share of breastfeeding taboos—most notably, against cross-nursing. Indeed, many media outlets and online commenters were disgruntled at best by the YouTube video of Hayek nursing another woman’s child. (EW.com awarded the video “biggest eyebrow-raiser” of the day.)

According to Calhoun, no American institution will support informal cross-nursing, citing concerns about “the possibility of transmitting infections, a decrease in supply for the donor's own baby, psychological confusion on the part of the infant, and the fact that the composition of breast milk changes as children get older.”

Hayek’s very public cross-nursing demonstrated that there are certainly instances in which none of these concerns are relevant. The Sierra Leonean baby she breastfed was born on the same day as her daughter and Hayek knew him to be healthy. She’s not in any danger of her milk running dry from one emergency feeding, and no one would argue that any “psychological confusion” the baby boy may have experienced outweighed the benefits of assuaging his hunger.

Photo: The Daily Mail

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Breast-feeding in public – bad idea?

Brett Singer — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Capessa.com went out and asked women if they thought it was OK to breast-feed in public. Their answers may surprise you.

First, as a man, I have to point out that I disagree with the woman who says, "That's what breasts are made for." Before anyone gets upset, let me tell you that if I don't say that, I will be kicked out of the International Club of Guys. Which would be bad.

Second, I was actually surprised to see how many women in the video seemed to feel strongly that breast-feeding was something that should only be done in private. (I particularly liked the woman who said, "Especially these days, there are so many PRODUCTS," as if she were auditioning for an infomercial.)

Now, here's my opinion: it depends on the place as well as the person involved. I don't have a problem with women breast-feeding their babies in a public place, but I have to admit that I tend to look away when they do, not out of shame but out of respect. In a situation where I don't know how comfortable a woman feels about having people see them and their little one doing their thing, turning away seems like the polite way to go. How it's done is also a factor. I've seen some women do it so casually that it actually took me a second to realize what was going on. A covering of some sort can actually make it more noticeable, which isn't the goal. Some discretion seems warranted, if only to avoid panting weirdos who salivate at the merest suggestion of boobage.

It's also worth pointing out that I don't see anything sexual in breast-feeding (much as I don't see anything sexual in giving birth). To each his own I guess, but to me, seeing a baby receiving milk from its mother is not exactly a trip to the Ba-Da-Bing.

Does breast-feeding in public still have a stigma attached to it? Has anyone out there been given a hard time for doing it?

Source: Capessa via Shine

image: flickr.com

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