Strollerderby : bonding

They Say: Moms Shut Down Infant Brains During Birth (It's a Good Thing)

Miriam Axel-Lute — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:17:00 GMT

Ah, oxytocin, how we love you. Or how you make us love others. Or something. But that's not all. Oxytocin, the hormone associated with social relationships, including maternal-infant bonding, lust, and trust, now has a different kind of role to add to its resume:

Science blogger Ed Yong explains that apparently the flush of oxytocin that is released when a fetus's head starts pushing on the inside of the cervix in labor sends a "chill-out" message to the newborn brain, causing it to not respond for a while to the neurotransmitter known as GABA, which pre- and post-birth usually keeps all those nerve cells firing away at rapid pace, learning and growing.

My first reaction to this was wonder if this was a way of softening the psychological drama of leaving the warm, soft, wet womb and its constant heartbeat and heading out into this big bad world.

That may be a side effect, but the researchers seem to think it's a little more pragmatic than that: When a baby brain is all zen on oxytocin, it needs a lot less oxygen, which means it's at much less risk of damage from a temporary oxygen deprivation, one of the most common dangers of birth. Handy.

It's cool to know your hormones are that on the ball. It also seems like oxytocin is powerful enough on so many fronts that even if you do need to plan a c-section for some reason you might want to wait until labor starts to give you and your kid that hormone hit. (Waiting for labor, as I learned from my friend who recently insisted on it, is apparently exceedingly rare. Perhaps that's a post for another time.)

In the meantime, I wonder if large enough doses of oxytocin would chill out my brain for a while?

More by this author:

Five Motherhood Myths

SunnyChanel — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:22:00 GMT

Yup, everyone has mom guilt of some sort or another. Recently there have been myriad of lists, essays and blog posts on why us moms shouldn’t beat ourselves up. No one is perfect. And every now and then, it’s reassuring to be reminded of that fact. That’s when we can sit down, have a big sigh of relief and celebrate with a glass of wine, or two. This week, the Today Show with a guest from Woman’s Day had a countdown on five motherhood myths just so we can all feel a little bit better.

Here are their Five Motherhood Myths

"Myth 1: A good mom likes her children all the time"
Christine Nicholson, PhD says “Some days you just want to pack their bags, drop them off at the train station and drive away,…That’s normal. If you can find the caring, kind parts of you 75 percent of the time, you’re doing really well!”

"Myth 2: A good mom bonds with her children immediately"
They cited that your newborn may seem like a stranger at first, many new moms don’t feel that strong motherly bond until much later. “Like any relationship, your connection to your children develops over time,”

"Myth 3: A good mom balances it all"
“Everyone knows at least one “perfect” mom — the one with the always-sparkling kitchen, the well-behaved children and the exciting career. How does she do it? She doesn’t…at least, not without help.” There’s always at least one ball that falls during the juggling act that is a busy mother’s life. They say we shouldn’t try so hard to do it all, that just makes even more stress.

"Myth 4: A good mom spends a lot of time with her kids—and they like her because of it"
Basically quality reigns over quantity.

"Myth 5: A good mom belongs to one big, supportive Moms Club"
Yeah, no mom is an island. Having a support group to vent to, get advice from and just have playdates can be a great and a resourceful thing. But just because these women all joined the Moms Club because of their ability to obtain offsping doesn’t mean you’ll get along with them. Some just aren’t supportive, are critical of other folks and many moms cite that they feel “undermined by other parents”.

To read the entire Woman’s Day piece – click here.

(image via SFGATE.com)

A Guy's Take on Why Breastfeeding Isn't That Great (and why it is great) -- Part II

Cole Gamble — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 13:00:00 GMT

We’ve covered some of the drawbacks and false benefits of breastfeeding, now here is the good stuff:

1) Breast Milk Has Antibodies. A breastfed baby is less susceptible to illnesses thanks to the good stuff found in breast milk.

2) You Save Money. No formula or bottles to buy.

3) Makes Mommy Feel Attached. Studies may have found that breast feeding has no particular psychological benefits for children, but it can’t hurt a mother’s bond with her child.

4) Breast Feeding Promotes Jaw Strength. And I don’t mean yours after gritting your teeth at 3 am because you’re up with the baby and your significant other is sleeping soundly. I mean the baby has to work his little jaw harder to get that precious milk, exercises it until he’s got a super jaw. And who doesn’t a toddler that looks like Jay Leno and can chew through steel?

5) Breast Milk Might Make Your Kid Smarter. The evidence on this one isn’t conclusive, but one study found a link between breast feed children and slight increases in I.Q. However, there is a fairly strong argument that the relationship between breast milk and I.Q. is correlation and not causation. The breast milk itself may have nothing to do with grey matter, but mothers (and couples even) who breast feed are more inclined to be attentive and nurturing toward their children generally. So the magic milk may not be the solution, but once again, it couldn’t hurt.

Back to Part I: Breastfeeding Negatives

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7 Classic Kid's TV Shows Clearly Conceived on (Bad) Acid

12 Pregnancy Myths

My Daughter Wants A Penis

**The Sh*t List: 10 Bizarre (or Terrific?) Potty Gadgets**

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

5 Reasons Breast Feeding Isn't That Great (and 5 Reasons Why It Is) Part 1

Cole Gamble — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:00:00 GMT

I know a guy commenting on breastfeeding is just asking for trouble. Raising ire be damned, I think it’s a personal choice for a woman to breast feed and no one should be bullied into it, especially if said woman may not have the choice. My wife was such a person, a woman ostracized for her inability to breastfeed. Even our government put out a commercial featuring a pregnant woman thrown from a mechanical bull, equating that action to not breastfeeding. There’s an unnecessary hysteria surrounding the practice. Does it have benefits? Yes, but if you believed what you read you’d have the impression the world is made up of two types of people: those vehemently against BF’n and those who think not breastfeeding is tantamount to child abuse. I’d like to think people are not so extreme (though I have met my share of boob Nazis). So in the spirit of unity, here are the top reasons not to breastfeed and the top 5 why you should.

The Cons:

1) Mastitis. An inflammation of the mammary gland occurring in lactating mothers. Nipple can get infected and turn into an abscess that must be surgically removed. Although this can occur in non-breastfeeding women, it’s more likely in breast feeders.

2) The Psychological Benefits are False. The conventional wisdom was breastfeeding led to a more focused, less hyperactive child adept at forming peer relations. However, an exhaustive study recently proved these assumptions wrong. Experts and laymen presumed that the constant physical closeness involved with breastfeeding would do all kinds of psychological wonders. Nope.

3) B-Milk in the Bottle is Just as Good. Some women can’t get their kids to latch. Some women simply don’t like the feeling of breast feeding. No problem, just pump a bit of that magic elixir and give it to junior via bottle. Not only is there no shame in it, but now that we know the physical act of breast feeding comes with no special benefits, the bottle is more acceptable than ever.

4) Where’s the D? This news is hot off the presses: there is insufficient vitamin D in breast milk. A lack of vitamin D can lead to rickets. So, if you breast feed, your kid will become a pirate.

5) You Should Never Do Anything Just Because of Peer Pressure. Like I said above, breast feeding is a choice. If you want to get a little breast milk to your kid but can’t or don’t want the suckling, that’s your business. And if you don’t want to do it at all, you are not abusing your child.

Continue for Part II: Breastfeeding Benefits

More by this Author:

7 Classic Kid's TV Shows Clearly Conceived on (Bad) Acid

12 Pregnancy Myths

**The Sh*t List: 10 Bizarre (or Terrific?) Potty Gadgets**

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

Pregcellent: Babies Do Come With (Hilarious) Instructions!

Kelly Mills — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:31:00 GMT

As a new parent, the whole baby thing can be overwhelming, to say the least. There's this idea we should just know how to do stuff naturally, like breastfeeding or interpreting the baby's cries correctly with little or no instruction. But of course, it isn't that instinctive. The lucky moms and dads have good relatives and friends to share parenting pearls with, and of course there's tons of books on the subject as well. But other people can get annoying with the constant advice, and the books are by and large dull as bleaugh.

That's why I think nothing is quite as good at breaking down what to do and what not to do as this site, in simple "yes" and "no" terms. I laughed for a loooong time at this. The helpful photos instantly tell you how to do so many of the essential infant things. My favorite is probably the one on bonding, but they are all pretty damn good. Like the diaper change one...Chortle snicker.

One Bathroom Provides Life Lessons

Adrienne Martini — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:28:00 GMT

Want to bring your family closer together? The path to bonding isn't through elaborate vacations or structured playdates. No, all you need to do is move into a house with only one bathroom.

There is something about having to share such an intimate space that really does lend itself to knowing each other better. And those who've done the potty training boogie know that some of the best conversations you have with your toddler are those chats you start to keep him on the pot until he pees.

Still, I can't help but wonder where it will all lead. Would you be an even stronger family unit if you lived in the Geico house? Do loft dwellers know their kids better? Should we all be relocated to homes that are only seven-feet wide? And is it wrong that I still dream of my own private spa/WC/steam room (with WiFi and a barista) that only I have the key for?

Photo credit: doityourself.com

Do Some Moms Love More Than Others?

Madeline Holler — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 11:52:00 GMT

You know how the love your feel for your child, especially the newborns, is inexplicable, other-worldly, spiritual, so incredibly unfamiliar that you catch yourself describing it as “magical”?

Well, get over yourself. That love is chemical, plain and simple. At least that’s what scientists concluded from this study on oxytocin “the hormone of love” and the mother-child bond.

Oh, great. They have not only taken the mystery out of love, they’ve quantified it. No I love you more! No I love you more! Quit arguing and submit blood samples!

A summary of the study:

Animals with no oxytocin showed slower pup retrieval, and less licking and self-grooming than those with moderate to high levels. But these are rats. Let’s get to humans.

Plasma oxytocin levels in pregnant women were measured during the first and third trimesters and after the first month post-partum. They also observed mom and baby behavior in four areas: gaze, affect, touch and vocalization. Attachment was rated stronger for mothers who gazed mostly at their child, showed “positive energy” toward the kid, maintained a constant good touch, and spoke in “motherese,” the high-pitched, widdle boo-boo baby talk (that is natural and therefore nothing to be ashamed of) way of speaking to little ones. Then moms completed a bond-related survey.

Researchers compared the bonding reports with the behaviors, establishing what a strong mother-child bond looks like. Then they compared the oxytocin levels with the differing bonding behaviors.

The study found that high levels of the hormone in the first trimester predicted strong showings of those attachment behaviors. Mothers with high levels of the hormone across pregnancy and in the post-partum month also showed more of the gaze, touch, and babytalk behaviors too. (They were also more likely to report being preoccupied with thoughts of checking on the infant, the infant’s safety when they are not around, and the infant’s future.)

I am not ashamed to say I had more than enough oxytocin coursing through me during pregnancy and after. I cried watching “The Apprentice” (who knew Donald Trump’s speech and hand gestures could be so moving?). At Wal-greens, a week after my second daughter was born, it became crystal clear that Dusty Springfield was singing “The Look of Love” on behalf of my newborn and me, serenading us right there in the store! Also, I am a shameless babytalker even in my pre-maternal civilian life. And trust me, my pup retrieval was instantaneous. My tongue had blisters from all the licking and self-grooming.

But oxytocin isn’t the “love hormone” just for moms and babies. It’s also the one that makes getting it on so fun. So we all have this hormone whether we’ve been pregnant or not – fathers, adoptive parents, babysitters too. That’s the study I’d like to see – the one that involves reports of bonding in adoptions measured against the new parents’ own blood levels. I bet there’s a lot of licking and pup retrieval in adoptive families too. Did the researchers take oxytocin levels of non-pregnant women to compare with? Because I'd like to know if the hormone production increases with a kid in your life, whether or not you've been pregnant.

Do Unplanned Pregnancies Mean Trouble Bonding?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 19:24:00 GMT

Recent studies indicate that acceptance of pregnancy is predictive of later parental attachment. Not surprisingly, "The relation between mothers' pregnancy acceptance and toddler attachment security is noteworthy because if attachment problems continue into the later years, the child could have self-esteem problems."

In other words, negative feelings toward pregnancy can predict later feelings that parenting is burdensome. Social supports in place to lower the stress of parenting, such as high quality child care, health care, and sufficient resources can go a long way to allaying the practical struggles of childrearing. Given that a good portion of pregnancies are unplanned (in my state, 56% are reportedly unplanned, which means the real number is more like 75%), one can assume the ability to a woman to adjust to her state would have a great deal to do with the conditions in which she finds herself.

Loving and caring for children is made drastically easier when one has the time, resources, and support to do a good job.

Geeky Robot-Building Dads Are the Best

Kelly Mills — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 14:01:00 GMT

Who needs a dad who will teach you how to throw a curveball or play horsie when you have a dad like this? Geekdad, one of our very favorite resources for all things great, pointed us towards the interview with their hero of the week from Robot magazine. Nao Maru spends quality time with his kids by building robots. Kickass, award-winning robots. In fact, "In less that two years Maru and his two young sons went from complete novices to winning the ROBO-ONE 10 championship against the best humanoid robot builders Japan has to offer." Now that sounds like bonding, and thank god they didn't try to build a baby. Maru isn't one of those parents who takes over and just lets the kids hold the welder for a second. In the interview, he says about building one cool custom robot, "We wanted it to have an original character, but with some similarity to traditional anime robots. More than anything, it had to be something that would excite and inspire all of us, especially the boys, otherwise it wouldn't be worth doing."

Excuse me, I think I have a nanoparticle in my eye... Yeah, I know, that wouldn't account for the watering. It's just the sweet geeky thing gets me right here, every time.