Strollerderby : biological father

"Dads" Want DNA Testing in Kansas

JeanneSager — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 16:28:00 GMT

Christopher Sprowson's ex-wife had an affair that resulted in a baby. Now the State of Kansas wants him to pay for a child genetic testing proves isn't his because he's the "presumed father."

A bit presumptuous, aren't they?

Sprowson and his first wife divorced when the child, now thirteen, was just a baby. He's never had a relationship with the child, nor has the mother called for one. Why should she? He isn't the boy's father.

Kansas officials stepped in when the ex-wife filed for welfare.The state automatically seeks child support for any parent receiving public assistance to reduce the state's burden. Unable to provide a name for a father of her boy, the state put the blame on Sprowson. When DNA proved otherwise, a judge said it didn't matter – as her husband at the time of the baby's birth, he had to pay some $10,000.

But Sprowson and wife Karey have three kids of their own to support, and they have made a bid to the state legislature to change the laws, allowing men to use DNA evidence to prove once and for all that they aren't responsible for kids with whom they share no blood relation.

Critics have said this will pave the way for stepfathers everywhere to shirk their responsiblities to their stepkids. The way I see it, stepkids are just that - "step" kids. Short of a marriage to the child's biological parent, they aren't that child's parent. So why should they be responsible for their care outside of the marriage? Their argument is the old standby - it takes more than biology to make a parent, and I agree with them. But that's a saying used to describe the non-biological parents who nurture children, not one that can be supplied to defend thrusting someone else's responsibilities on men like Christopher Sprowson. He never nurtured the child because he had no reason to - he wasn't the boy's father in any sense of the word, biological or emotional.

I don't fault the state for trying to reduce a burden on taxpayers by requiring non-custodial parents to step in to care for a child rather than the state. But you can't legislate family ties into existence anymore than you can force an angry spouse to accept their cheating partner's love child into their heart.

Give the guys their DNA test, Kansas. And let the real fathers stand up.

Image: NIH

Dad Finds Daughter Abducted During Bosnian War

JeanneSager — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:01:00 GMT

It's been sixteen years since Muhamed Becirovic saw his family, abducted by Serbian soldiers at the start of the Bosnian war. But the Bosnian Muslim - now living in Germany - never gave up hope.

Now Red Cross workers, using DNA samples, have reconnected the father with one of his two little girls, now living with a foster family in Serbia. Senida was nine months when last seen by her father; she's now sixteen and goes by the name Mila.

She's also a Serbian. And a Christian.

She's known nothing of her father for the past sixteen years, nothing of his life or her heritage. Now she faces the biggest question of all - should she stay with what she knows? Or join her biological father in another country, taking on a new life?

It's the kind of story that tears at a parents' guts. Becirovic has rebuilt his life since losing his wife and two daughters after fighting broke out while he was working out-of-town, and ethnic Serbs took control of his hometown. By the time he finally got to his home, the building was demolished, his family gone. He's spent more than a decade and a half trying to find them, even if that meant discovering they were among the bodies dumped in the mass graves created during the Bosnian war. He's also since become a permanent resident of Germany, remarrying a German woman and fathering another daughter.

But a third daughter can't possibly replace his elder two. Finding Senida would seem like a dream come true.

But what of Senida? She's no longer a baby, and she says she doesn't want to move to Germany. “Of course I am very happy to have found my family and my roots. But at the moment it is all too much for me," she told the Sunday Times.

Is it fair for a child to be uprooted from everything that she knows? With the long history of the region, pitting Serbs against Bosnians and Christians against Muslims, it's hard to say how much of this child's biological heritage can really take hold over what she has been raised to believe. It's akin to a child raised evangelical Christian in America suddenly learning she's an Orthodox Jew - and her biological parents believe nothing of the born again, Jesus loving faith she's been raised to hold so dear. Doesn't nurture trump nature in this case?

By the time kids reach a certain age, biology can hold only so much sway in their lives. Heritage is more environmental and less what one is born with at sixteen. Not to mention the utter lack of relatable moments between father and daughter in this situation because of such a large chunk of their lives spent apart.

For the Becirovics, what should be one of the happiest days of their lives is fraught with confusion. Unfortunately, they're still a family torn apart by war.

Image: USIP

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Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

JeanneSager — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 19:51:00 GMT

Oliva Pratten knows her dad was stocky. He had brown hair like her and blue eyes. She even knows his blood type. What she doesn't know is who his or how he came to deposit a cup of sperm at a bank in her native Canada. Now she's suing to find out.

Pratten, a twenty-six-year-old journalist who now lives and works in New York, is suing on behalf of the spawn of all sperm donors in British Columbia, hoping to protect sperm bank records from a shredding of Arthur Anderson proportions. The goal, she says, is to end the practice of destroying medical records after six years practiced by many fertility doctors. The suit has already ensured a temporary injunction against destroying the paperwork in British Columbia, laid down by chief justice of the BC Supreme Court.

Currently adoption records in a number of Canadian provinces, including British Columbia, are protected. Pratten says that protection should apply to the children conceived by gamete donation because they too have a biological parent mystery to be solved. The fertility doctor who helped her mom get pregnant respectfully disagrees. He says he'd be violating the man's confidentiality, and without a signed release he'll give her no more than the basic medical facts.

I'm a big proponent of open adoptions, and I'd say that would extend to gamete donations. Kids should get the full story if everyone agrees to share it. But that's a very personal if. If a guy walks into a medical office today with the full knowledge he might have a kid knocking on his door in 18 years, that's one thing. It's why I think all donors today should be subject to having their identity shared with their "kids" down the road. For the kids' sake.

But for the medical student who yanked off into a cup to help pay his tuition twenty-six years ago, thinking he was doing so under a shroud of anonymity? Is anything more than disseminating medical information to the products of his donation a violation of his privacy? Or should a guy going through med school have been capable of seeing this coming?

Image: Vancouver Sun

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Biological Father of Madonna's Adopted Son Very Concerned

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Yohana Banda, the biological father of Madonna’s adopted son David, is very worried about the boy's happiness. Although Banda and his second wife live simply in a thatched hut in Malawi, he thinks that three-year-old David may be happier living with him than with the most famous woman in the world.

Banda put David up for adoption after his first wife, David’s biological mother, died from complications in childbirth. He hoped that David would have a better life in the U.S., but, he says, “Now I see him in a big bewildering crowd in the street with people pushing and shoving, and many cameras around, and without a mother and father to hold his hand. I’m feeling bad for him.”

Madonna’s divorce from Guy Ritchie has strengthened Banda’s concerns about David’s welfare. “This is a new and terrible thing to happen to him. I am too upset to think clearly,” Banda said.

Although this is clearly a unique case, Banda's concern raises interesting questions about the rights of biological parents to be involved in their children’s lives after adoption. Naturally, Banda cannot know what David’s private family life is really like without personal contact from Madonna. Do you think Madonna has an obligation to reassure Banda of David’s happiness, or are her family’s decisions none of his business?

Photo: Celebpick's Weblog

Strollerderby : biological father

"Dads" Want DNA Testing in Kansas

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Grandpa Hires Hitman So He Can Visit Granddaughter

Dad Finds Daughter Abducted During Bosnian War

Dad Finds Daughter Abducted During Bosnian War

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Teen Has Cancer and Lives in a Car

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Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

Grandma Serves as Surrogate, Gives Birth to Triplet Granddaughters

Australian Woman No Longer Dad's Girlfriend, Now She Lives With Him and New Fiance

Mom Ready to Deliver Baby After First Ever Ovary Transplant

Dad Wants Daughter Back Despite Negative DNA Test

Biological Father of Madonna's Adopted Son Very Concerned

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