Strollerderby : behavior problems

Dad Calls Cops for Son's Messy Room

JeanneSager — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:07:00 GMT

As parents we are always looking for a little vindication, right? Especially when our kids have done something that really sets us on edge and yet, we have acted calmly, rationally . . . or at least not pitched a toddler-style fit of our own?

I've got some good news for parents who have thrown up their hands at their kids' messy rooms.

At least your kid isn't twenty-eight, living at home and in need of some tips on how to tame the trash. Oh yeah, and at least you haven't called the cops to make your kid get his tuchas in gear.

It's exactly what a dad in Ohio did last week, calling 911 in utter frustration at his adult son. He's since apologized, but I'm not sure whether to feel sorry for the dad or pull a Cher a la Moonstruck and tell the man to "snap out of it."

I'm imagining a twenty-eight-year-old man who can't get off his butt and clean up his room now couldn't do it back in his first go-round of living home with dad. Which puts all the arguments over my daughter's messy room in a whole new light. Everytime we go another go-round, I figure I'm saving my daughter from an adulthood of being a disgusting slob.

Because it can be much easier to just give in and clean your kid's room. I remember doing it back when I shared a room with my little brother, throwing in the towel after weeks long stand-offs that involved him continuing to throw clothes and toys on the floor. I responded with trash bag in hand. Ah, revenge was sweet (midnight walks to the bathroom without stubbing my toe were even sweeter).

With my daughter, I've managed so far to stand my ground. She's just shy of four, so we're still at a point where we clean her room together, but she plays a big role in that process. We assign particular roles, and she sets off on stuffed animal duty or packing her dress-up clothes back in the dress-up trunk. Will I ever give up and spend an afternoon in the room with a trash bag in hand? Theoretically, it could happen, but I'd like to think that early years of pitching in will lead to do-it-yourself versions in her teen years.

Do you make your kids clean their rooms or do you do it for them?

Image: Boston Globe

Bipolar Disorder: A Family Secret

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:55:00 GMT

What would you do if your 10-year-old daughter said to you, “I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be me. I don’t want to feel anymore. Why aren’t you doing anything about this?” Or if your normally loving son threatened to slit you open with a knife? Naturally, you would want to do anything in your power to make your children better, but what if that meant giving your six-year-old lithium? Or sending your 10-year-old away to a therapeutic residential school?

In deference to the many parents who face these challenges day after day, I highly recommend Jennifer Egan’s piece on bipolar disorder in children. She traces several families’ struggles to cope with children who rage against the world from the time that they can talk, and offers a comprehensive portrait of the uncertainties surrounding bipolar diagnoses in kids.

Until relatively recently, it was believed that bipolar disorder only affected adults. Now nearly all leading child psychiatry experts agree that children can suffer from the disease—but they mostly all disagree about how to diagnose childhood bipolar disorder. Most experts believe that it is over-diagnosed, in part because managed care usually only pays for one brief psychiatric evaluation a year and because of the highly questionable yet widely popular book The Bipolar Child.

Diagnosing mental health problems in children is further complicated by the fact that many of the symptoms of bipolar disorder overlap with the symptoms of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). And mania is not as clear-cut in children as in it adults--it's often normal for children to act grandiose or have terrible temper tantrums.

James, one of the kids Egan writes about, was diagnosed with ADHD, OHD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), and bipolar disorder by the time he was eight. With so much uncertainty about the disease, even parents whose children have seemingly clear-cut episodes of mania—stealing strangers’ cell phones or wearing outlandish clothing—followed by clear episodes of depression remain uncertain about their children’s treatment.

Once a child is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, he and she is prescribed strong medication with harsh side effects. Making the decision to give such drugs to kids is a huge weight of responsibility on a parent’s shoulder—and this decision requires trusting a doctor whose personal biases will inevitably influence her diagnosis and prescribed treatment.

At the very least, I hope that Egan's article will bring greater awareness to this issue. As one of the mothers interviewed said of her son's horrible temper tantrums, "It's like a dirty little secret. It's like having a husband who beats you, only it's a kid. It's your own."

Image: New York Times

Pediatrician Poll: Behavioral Problems

editors — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Q: What is the most common behavioral problem you see?

Tantrums: 35%
Discipline problems: 29%
Sleep problems: 12%
Attention problems: 12%
Fighting: 6%
Anxiety and stress: 6%

"Parents worry a lot about tantrums, which aren't really a problem but are seen as one." — Erik Cohen, MD, FAAP. Greenwich, CT.

"Children not being taught how to sleep, or not getting enough sleep — a lot of things come out of that." — Lisa Kaufman, MD. NY, NY.

"Many parents have questions about discipline. What to expect of a child at a certain age when it comes to following directions, doing chores, stuff like that." — Patricia McGuire, MD, FAAP. Cedar Rapids, IA.

To obtain these results, Babble randomly called 300 AAP-approved pediatricians in 50 states, then tallied the answers of the 20 who called back. Pediatrician Poll appears in Strollerderby every Friday.

Girl Classmates Make Learning Better for All

Madeline Holler — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:02:00 GMT

Forget about single-sex classrooms, says Israeli researcher Analia Schlosser. Even a small majority of girls in a classroom dramatically increases the learning achievement for both boys AND girls -- even more so than in boys-only and girls-only classes.

OK, well that's interesting, especially in light of some schools creating special classes for just one gender in order to boost learning and improve behavior at school. Maybe mixing it up isn't a cause for poor performance.

Here's what Schlosser concluded after studying a large sample of American elementary, middle and high school classes: in classes with more than 55 percent of girls resulted in better exam results and less violent outbursts overall.

She guess that the better grades and behavior have to do with girls' positive influence on the classroom environment, which, as the mother of two girls, makes me cringe a little. Do I want my girls have to go around nurturing the world just to get some learning done?

But Schlosser's study also shows that the girls' grades improve too in the mixed-gender classes (where the girls are a majority). So, how bad could that be? Plus, I've never liked the idea of segregating classes with such broad strokes as gender (or income or race or even rigid age guidelines). According to this report, everybody could win.

Photo: SPTimes.com

What a Relief: School Did Not Ban Farting

Kelly Mills — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:33:00 GMT

Despite media reports, the principal of Camden-Rockport Middle School has clarified that the school did not ban farting in class. Good thing, because libertarians would have had a field day with that one. But it is kind of funny that the story spread faster than a noxious gas filling a room, even reaching the WSJ online and other media outlets. The culprits who dealt the news item in the school newspaper have been identified, though they could not be named because of school confidentiality.

Student journalists filing for the school papper erroneously reported that the intentional farting and subsequent class disruptions of some eighth-grader boys had led to a rule prohibiting intentional farting in class. Supposedly offenders would be punished with detention. (What about shutting them in a small room with the fruits of their own labors? That would be real justice.) I'm sure teachers are relieved to know the rule was never in effect, because who wants the job of detemining whether or not a burst of flatulence was intentional? However, we should note that kids who intentionally rip one can still be disciplined, under the much broader "class disruption" rules. Yes, innocents will not have to suffer because school admins are soft on intestinal crimes.

Really Dumb Tips For Toddler Tantrums

Kelly Mills — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 13:38:00 GMT

Ah yes, parenting advice. Looking for some helpful, creative tips for addressing toddler tantrums? Well, you won't find them here. In fact, this is one lame lists of tips. Nothing I disagree with, but c'mon: "Have plenty of toys and objects for [toddlers] to handle." Oh, kids like to play with toys? Ahhhh. What else: "Regularly scheduled naps and bedtimes help toddlers not to get overly tired and cranky, thus avoiding tantrums." This is groundbreaking stuff, people.

Shall I summarize? Feed your children regularly, make sure they sleep, if they seem cranky watch out for illnesses. Make sure they have toys, that they draw and color, and that you, uh, talk to them. Boy, that is a tall order indeed. But hey, "Think of your child as an investment: The more you put into them, the more you will get on your return!" Unless, of course, you named your child Enron.

Strollerderby : behavior problems

Dad Calls Cops for Son's Messy Room

When Mommy Becomes Mom

Don't Give Me Your Tired, Your Stained

We're Not Judging You, Pinky Swear

Stay At Home Moms Worth $122,000

Bipolar Disorder: A Family Secret

Pediatrician Poll: Behavioral Problems

Girl Classmates Make Learning Better for All

What a Relief: School Did Not Ban Farting

Really Dumb Tips For Toddler Tantrums