Strollerderby : bedtime

Organic Dreams or Toxic Nightmares? You Pick

JeanneSager — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 17:00:00 GMT

I wasn't sure if I should feel like a bad parent or a bit of a grinch when I read this New York Times piece on the plight of parents trying to green every bit of their baby's world.

Keeping this mom up at night wasn't SIDS or milk production. She wants to known what's lurking inside her son's "organic" mattress.

Breaking down the confusing world of just what qualifies as a "safe" mattress, the article explains the root of parents' fears: fire retardants used to protect families from fires in bed have been found to show up in breastmilk, and some (discontinued) foams lead to nervous and reproductive systems in animals in 2004 study. Today, the materials used to make mattresses are largely proprietary, and the term "organic" can refer simply to the use of some organic cotton in the batting. What's more, the memory foam that's purported to give you a great night's sleep is a petroleum product.

Scary stuff. Definitely enough to make you question your parenting prowess if the main criteria used for picking your kid's mattress was "will a diaper blow-out be easy to clean at 2 a.m.?" Because that, next to cost, topped my list when it came to picking my daughter's crib mattress.

To be fair, "phthalate" wasn't a buzzword in early 2005 when I registered for my baby shower. But even since it has been bandied about, I haven't rushed to her room to chuck her mattress and pile the bed with organic cotton blankets. And, frankly, after reading this, I'm no more inclined to do so.

The Times piece - like so much of what is coming out these days about toxins - makes for worthy, interesting (and in-depth) reading. But it provides no real answers. It doesn't say mattresses are good, but there's little to point to anything wrong with it either. So I'll focus my fears where I know they're founded for now - and when it comes time to buy a "big girl" mattress, I'll read up once again to see if newer news can shed light on my questions.

Image: New York Times

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Once Upon A Time

Adrienne Martini — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Every parent dreads certain phrases. Some examples: Watch me juggle these knives! My head fits perfectly in this lion's mouth! I got a tattoo at Hepatitis Sams!

There's another one that I've come to dread, too: Tell me a story!

It's not that I lack the creative capacity -- I am a writer, for Pete's sake -- it's just that I'm pretty much tapped out by bedtime. I'll read any story that my beloveds ask for. But as for making one up? Oy. I'd just as soon skip it.

I am not alone. The Telegraph came up with some helpful hints and tips for parents struggling to build their own narrative. One that I'd suggest that didn't make their list is to turn to your kid and ask, "what do you think happens next?" You'll be surprised by the answers.

If it still seems to daunting, check out these blankets designed by students at the Royal College of Art. Let your kid read her own dang story while you cuddle up next to her and get some shut-eye.

What We Do Wrong at Bedtime

Jen Chaney — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 21:04:00 GMT

My son is destined to become obese, anxious, wracked with low self-esteem and beset with emotional problems. At least this article in Time -- entitled "How Not to Get Baby to Sleep" -- certainly makes it seem that way.

The story, based on recent research on sleep patterns in infants and children, says that kids who develop poor slumber habits at an early age can expect to encounter health and wellness issues later in life, including the ones I describe above. Part of the problem is that we parents apparently do all the wrong things when our little ones can't fall asleep. Among our top offenses: Picking up the baby when he's crying, bringing him into the family bed or feeding him in the middle of the night. The key, apparently, is to teach our kids to self-soothe and find their own paths back to dreamland.

I agree with the concept in theory. My problem is adapting it to the real world. My son used to sleep fine until a couple of weeks ago, a change that may have come about due to the double-whammy of simultaneous ear infections. Now he wakes up in the middle of the night, every night, so he can present his latest performance of "Screamfest 2008: Get the Frak Up, Mom and Dad. And Please Hold Me." I know I should not pick him up or rock him or bring him into bed with us. But I have resorted to any and all of these options lately because, at 3 a.m., when you know you have to get up in three hours and go to work, Ferberization can pretty much shove it.

I was really hoping the Time article would offer some useful tidbits about other methods moms and dads can use instead of the "bad" ones. But all Dr. Elsie Tavares of Harvard Medical School suggests is, "Go to sleep at the same time every night. Remove things that will create a lot of stimulation before sleep — don't put a TV in the child's room." Um, thanks. I kinda figured that if my son is up watching "Letterman" he probably won't be able to get to sleep.

I take comfort in the fact that I can't possibly be the only parent who is "Night, night"-challenged. Assuming that's so, I look forward to introducing my poor, fat, neurotic, sleep-deprived child to yours' in a few short years.

Photo: Halosleep.com

Easy Sleep Now Only Means Pain Later

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 13:06:00 GMT

When Emmeline was about five months old, I performed the usual bedtime routine -- bath, massage, bottle, book -- then hoisted in her in her crib, turned off the light and let her fend for herself. Dana had to work through the night and into the early morning, and so I was the only one around the hear Emme cry. Maybe it was cruel. Maybe it was mean. It certainly broke my heart every time she woke up and I sat on my hands. But she sleeps like a drunken rock star now, so I'm not complaining.

I'm not advocating the cry-it-out method, despite the aptly chosen moniker above this post. It worked for us -- but it may not work for you. Still, I was reading a column by family psychologist John Rosemond, and I started to see he had a point: Taking the easy way out will only haunt you later.

Before we let Emme cry it out, Dana and I were up every half hour to plug a pacifier back into her yawning maw. She couldn't do it herself because A. she didn't know what those chubby, wiggly things were at her side, and B. she was swaddled, so she couldn't use them even if she did know. We tried everything to get her to sleep just a little bit longer. We took turns sitting with her. We brought her into bed with us. We sang, we hummed, we got so tired we actually rationalized with her. "Emme, you're a big girl now -- it's time to sleep. All night."

So at five months, we took away the swaddle, we took away the pacifier and we let her soothe herself -- and us, eventually -- into a deep, sound sleep. The easy way would have been to answer her every cry and trudge into her room for comfort and pacifiers. The hard way was to let her cry for one night -- she only needed one. If I had it to do over, I'd choose the hard way -- simply because it's easier over time.

The Family Bed: I'm Over It - And Now, So Is She! (A Follow Up)

Alisyn — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 20:42:00 GMT

Babblers, I am grateful for all of your helpful tips and advice, in response to my recent post. Thanks to your creative ideas (bribes) and timeless wisdom (more bribes!), my 4-year-old daughter, Hazel, who had been coming into our bed at night for the last year, is now sleeping in her own bed, all night, every night.

Here's how we did it: I went to the dollar section at Target and loaded up on cheap "treats:" a frog wallet, chintzy Barbie clothes, sticky note pads, fancy ponytail holders, barrettes, sparkly nail polish, and Smarties - lots of Smarties. I also got a small digital alarm clock for her to keep on the shelf above her bed. On the first night of the bedtime regime change, Hazel and I sat down together and drew up a contract. It read as follows:

"IF Hazel stays in her bed until the first number on the clock says "6," THEN she will get to choose one treat from the "treat box," and one special movie to watch in the afternoon. IF Hazel does not stay in her bed until the first number on the clock says "6," THEN she will get no treats and no movie." We both signed the contract, and hung it on the wall, next to her bed.

Hazel struggled to remain in her bed that first night - her routine of waking up in the middle of the night and coming to our bed for reassurance was hard to break. When we reviewed the contract the next night, we agreed that it might be helpful to leave Hazel's bedroom door open, and to put a nightlight in the hallway between our bedrooms. She said that would help her feel less "alone-ly." That night was a big improvement - Hazel woke up a few times during the night, but checked her clock, and put herself back to sleep - no yelling for mama, not getting up. Just. Sleep. She has done this every night since and now, she doesn't even wake up to check the clock - she sleeps all the way through the night, sometimes until 7 o'clock (!!). I am so proud of her, but most importantly, she is proud of herself. It's been almost two weeks now, and we are all sleeping better than ever!

Finding the right bribes... excuse me, incentives, and sticking to my guns was the key to my success, I think. Involving Hazel in the incentives process (writing the contract, choosing her treat) didn't hurt, either. So, to any parents out there struggling with bedtime issues, I say: You, too, can do it! Just bribe the hell out of those kids (whatever works), and prepare yourself for a couple of nights of sacrificed sleep, in the name of establishing a new routine. It's so worth it!

Yay, us!

The Intellicot: No, It Doesn't Come with a Freezing Agent (At Least, Not Yet)

thezeroboss — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 21:14:00 GMT

I'm sure that Cencio has 10,000 research studies showing that their 2001: A Space Odyssey baby cot will help my kid grow to be the next Albert Einstein (or at least the next Jimmy Page). To me, it looks like this poor kid is preparing for a good, long cryogenic nap. Cencio's Intellicot boasts a monitoring system, an automatic rocker, air circulation, and a built-in lifting system to reduce "parental back strain." I didn't even know that was a rampant medical problem. Due to go on sale sometime this year, the Intellicot will likely retail for around £1,000, or close to $2,000 US, but will be marketed more to hospitals than to the general public. While I'm not impressed, I'll bet money that this thing becomes the Cadillac of cribs for gadget-obsessed dads.

The Family Bed: I'm Over It

Alisyn — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 01:06:00 GMT

I have a confession to make: my 4-year-old still sleeps with my husband and I, in our bed. And it's starting to drive me nuts.

Hazel starts the night in her own bed - or rather, on her own bed, in her Disney Princess sleeping bag - but every night, without fail, she crawls in with us, usually sometime between 1 and 2 a.m. As she gets older, and her legs get longer, it's getting more and more uncomfortable to share a king-sized bed with her. Our new kitten, who has chosen to sleep nestled among the pillows at the head of the bed, has been making it hard for Hazel to fall asleep once she makes her journey across the hallway, into our room, too. In just a few short months, the bed-hopping has gone from being a cute, cozy habit of hers, to being an annoying, sleep-stealing drag.

Over at Blogging Baby, and Ikea loft bed was suggested as incentive for getting the kids out of the family bed. I found some helpful hints at MSNBC, too, as well as a comprehensive and age-appropriate "how to" list over at the Berkeley Parents Network. At our house, we've tried sticker charts, cozy new sheets and jammies, but so far, nothing's working. We're dealing with a pretty sensitive kid, too, so I really want to motivate her to keep herself in bed, rather than have to force her to stay there myself. Also noteworthy: she shares a room with her sister. Do you have any tips/suggestions on how to help? Do you have a getting-the-kid-in-her-own-bed success story to share? If so, please share in the comments. I'm definitely open to suggestions.