Strollerderby : alternadad

Return of the son of stuff YUPPIE parents like

Brett Singer — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Because too much is never enough. And besides, didn't you want to see this photo at least one more time?

1. Organic everything: from a commenter. I've succumbed to some of this, partly because, living in Manhattan, the cost difference isn't as great as it used to be, and sometimes the quality is better. I also admit that I feel less guilt giving my kids "organic" pre-packaged crap than I do giving them "chemical-laden" pre-packaged crap. It's still crap, but it's ORGANIC crap.

2. Classes and activities: yes, from the same commenter. She said, "mommy and me classes" but in my experience it's much more than that. Around here, it seems like everyone has their kids doing something all flippin' day. A parent once told me that she didn't understand why Kindergarten went until 3pm; she wished it ended at noon so her kid could take advantage of everything Manhattan had to offer. I replied that I thought Kindergarten should go until 8pm. We don't talk much anymore.

3. Kids' music that parents can enjoy: All parents have benefited from the boom in kiddie rock. While I am of course very glad that children's music has evolved beyond Raffi (who really isn't that bad) and Kidz Bop (which is), sometimes this preciousness can go a little too far. Sure, anything by Dan Zanes or The Dirty Sock Funtime Band is better than Barney's Greatest Hits, but a little James Taylor, Peter Paul and Mary, The Beatles – lots of great "adult" music out there that kids might like.

4. Taking their children to live rock 'n' roll shows: "Alternadad" Neal Pollack brought his little one to see The Hives, a rather loud quasi-punk act. I spotted two sets of parents who had dragged their children to see Yaz at the Beacon theater (I myself was dragged by my wife, but that's another story). When commenters on Gawker are giving good parenting advice ("Neil [sic], seriously--ear plugs"), you know something is out of whack in the universe.

5. Anything that isn't made of granite. At least after we found out about the radiation.

For more, click here.

image: nostalgiacentral.com

More stuff YUPPIE parents like

Baby Penis Album only five bucks

Stuff White Parents Like

When playgrounds attack, the sequel

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

Here's to the laddies who lunch

Kid Food Is Mostly Crap, and It's a Little Shocking

More stuff YUPPIE parents like

Brett Singer — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

If you want to know why YUPPIE is written in CAPS, check out the comments on Redsy's post.

Also, a word of explanation for our younger readers: "yuppie" is a term that was coined in the 1980's. It means "Young Urban Professional." Obnoxious spin off terms include "buppie" (black urban professional) and "guppie" (gay urban professional, which is at least vaguely amusing). In general, I think that the term "yuppie" is (like myself) color-blind, so we'll just stick with that. (My color-blindness mostly means I need help choosing ties, but it also refers to non-clothing related issues.)

And now – the stuff!

1.   Fertility treatments: maybe this is a Manhattan thing, but I've seen several signs in drug store windows advertising help getting your health insurance to help pay to get you pregnant. My theory (unfounded and unresearched) is that there are a large number of parents having children later in life, and also a huge number of older dads starting second families with their second wives.
2.   Wooden toys: this is from a commenter, and it's totally true. I fully expect some "mompreneur" to start selling unadorned two-by-fours in colorful packaging. (Hang on, I need to copyright that idea.)
3.   SUV's: hopefully the price of gas will put the kibosh on these. There are other ways to schlep a family around town.
4.   Hybrid cars: for the parents who don't want SUV's. It's all about extremes, people.
5.   Feeling entitled to brunch: In some cases, even men want to emulate the Sex and the City gals.

For more, click here.

image: nostalgiacentral.com

Baby Penis Album only five bucks

Are Brangelina Too Posh to Procreate (the Old-Fashioned Way)?

Return of the son of stuff YUPPIE parents like

Mister Frickin' Rogers

Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

More Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

When playgrounds attack, the sequel

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

Here's to the laddies who lunch

Are You Raising a Douchebag?

Madeline Holler — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 23:06:00 GMT

Details and GQ magazines’ blog recently asked a question that truly winds up concerning parents only with regard to the offspring of others: “Are you raising a douchebag?”

But instead of providing a convenient checklist which will (1) make me laugh and (2) reassure me that the answer is “no,” the article winds up being yet another article on hipster parents. Sigh. Is it really so wrong to prefer Pumas to a bleached-white pair of kicky Keds?

Anyway, let’s focus on the fun part. Kids who are douchebags! Here’s how to know, according to the author:

"If it's your child, not you, who gets to choose your weekend brunch spot, or if he's the one asking how the branzino is prepared, it's probably time to take a hard look at your own behavior." (Blush. I don't think I know what a branzino is.)

"If your kid can tell which Ramone is Dee Dee and which one is Joey."

If your kid can text message (yes, but so can my mother-in-law).

If your kid is/was pushed around in a "limited-edition Bugaboo stroller by Bas Kosters ($2,000), carrying a Louis Vuitton diaper bag ($1,380), and checking in at a members-only parenting club like Citi-babes in Manhattan (annual membership: $2,000), your offspring are probably developing some serious entitlement issues. Just read the news. The Wall Street Journal recently reported on the rise of sixth-grade "fashion bullies" who terrorize peers who don't wear Junior Dolce & Gabbana. Then there was the New York Times article on youngsters—4-year-olds!—who fancy themselves collectors of highly coveted works of art." (Hey, we covered that!)

"If your kids dress, speak, and appreciate Roxy Music just like us."

Really? That’s it? Haven’t we covered this before? I’m a bit old-fashioned – perhaps simpler -- and think you’re raising a douchebag if your kid, a second-grader that I voluntarily drive home from school several times a week, rips the sunshade off the car window, yells at you for not providing snacks for the 10-minute ride, and tells you that you have fat knees. (Am I myself a douchebag for mouthing “fuck you!” in the front seat?)

In the end, the author (quoting Babble editor-in-chief Ada Calhoun) warns against trying to raise a child in the image of ourselves. Good advice, because boy would my kids have potty-mouths while also not know what in the hell a branzino is.

Ultimately, the question is whether we, as parents, are douchebags. Eh. I kind of doubt it, but I have been called worse. Just shut up about my fat knees!

Photo: men.style.com

Cupcake Jealousy or Neal Pollack's Wife Rocks

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 14:58:00 GMT

As if there's not enough reason to dislike Regina Pollack, what with her ability to have sex with Neal "AlternaDad" Pollack" any time she pleases, now there's this: She's got skillz.

Mad. baking. skilz.

In this Epicurious blog post, Neal displays the creations of his "Hipster Homemaker" and I've got to say, I'm jealous. Deeply, insanely jealous. The cake shark? The cake whale? Call me Jonah and put on a bib, because I'm eating my way out of that one.

The truth is, I've always harbored a little cupcake jealousy. My cupcakes come out flat and slanted, not puffy and delicious. And when I think about someday baking these deformed creatures for my daughter's classroom, well let's just say two words come to mind: Whole. Foods. (But not the vegan kind, because they taste like ass with icing.)

So when I see someone not only bake the perfect cupcake, but then also make it look like Frankenstein, well, then, it's on. You win this round, Mr. Neal's Martha. But wait till Round Two. I'm not sure what that entails exactly, but I'm sure it will be delicious.

What's your homemaker jealousy?

Hipster Parents on Nightline

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Fri, 11 May 2007 16:02:00 GMT

Neal Pollack, AlternaDad, appeared on Nightline recently to weigh in again on the anti-anti-anti-hipster parenting debate that has long since made us all weary, including him.

After watching this, I feel proud of our generation of parents. We're trying to do things well (and differently) than generations before. We just happen to also enjoy writing about it.

Neal Pollack, Babble's Rebecca Woolf Get Their Say at South by Southwest

Patti — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 11:27:00 GMT

Arvind Grover is liveblogging the events he's attending at this year's South By Southwest Interactive festival, and one of those events just happens to have been Monday afternoon's Alternadad Live, featuring Neal Pollack and Babble blogger Rebecca Woolf.

Grover's notes are here at his 21Apples blog. It looks like, surprise surprise, Rebecca and Neal were obligated to speak on the (deep sigh) Hipster Matter. It's hard to tell how it really went from Grover's notes, but there are tantalizing clues: The panelists discussed their motivations for blogging, the ethics of using children as blog fodder, and seem to have at least attempted to define that pesky label. I'm looking forward to getting the scoop from both Rebecca and Neal.

Grover, who works in education, also noted that he should probably start reading parenting blogs. Hi, Arvind!

"Hipster Parents": And Now David Brooks Weighs In

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 19:56:00 GMT

Always with the writing about the hipster parents. And now David Brooks joins the fray. Brooks, New York Times Op-Ed columnist and great-grandfather of 10, addresses the usual list of problems with Babble, Alterna Dad, and Urban Baby. And like Time Magazine before him, calls out pretty little Girl's Gone Child writer and Babble contributor, Rebecca Woolf, who elicited a comparison to Erma Bombeck (we should all be so lucky!).

Brooks covers the usual complaints against the hipster parent set: failure to grow-up, worship of fashion and the icons of youth, and an inability to surrender to Barney. My response to David, and anyone else ranting and raving about Babble and all other supposedly hip parenting modalities of expression, is "turn away." If it bothers you so much, then just don't read it. On the other hand, most scrappy types enjoy a fight and I can certainly respect that.

Truthfully, I find major media covering non-vanilla parenting very heartening. If Babble hadn't come along when it did, I would have been forced to pillage and burn every copy of Parenting Magazine in every doctor's office around town. How many smiling, skinny, happily crafting and cooking suburban moms can one stand reading about before one is driven to heavy drugs? The nice thing about all this discussing of the hip parents, is it gives us a new scapegoat and something against which we can measure ourselves. And I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be compared to an angst-ridden hipster than a Prozac filled cheerful-head any day of the week.