Strollerderby : SUV

Infant Twins Safe After Newark Carjacking

Brett Singer — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 16:30:00 GMT

This is one of those nightmare stories that ends well.

A woman in Newark, New Jersey was pulling out of her driveway. She got out of her car, a 2007 Hyundai SUV, to close the gate. A carjacker jumped into the vehicle and drove off. Big problem: her 10-month-old twins were in the back seat.

I guess the thief noticed that and freaked – less than a half an hour later, the vehicle was found around the corner. The car thief, they haven't found yet.

And people wonder why I don't have a driver's license… (Actually, this isn't why. Bad joke. Sorry.)

Who says there's no honor among thieves? Even if was just a fear of stinky diapers and not honor, at least the kids appear to be fine. And maybe this person will think twice before jacking another car.

Source: 1010wins.com
Image: nj.greateststateever.com

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7-Year-Old Steals Grandma's Car, Becomes Hero

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:00:00 GMT

You may remember Latarian Milton, the seven-year-old who stole the keys to his grandma’s SUV and took it for a joyride with his friend because “it’s fun to do bad things, like drive into a car?” (He did, in fact, drive into several cars on his joyride.)

Well, just in case Latarian’s grandmother didn’t teach Latarian right and wrong with her violent threats—“If I thought they wouldn’t take me to jail, I’d whip his behind,” she said—Latarian has now become a sort of star for his bad ass ways. This recent radio interview starts with the interviewers telling Latarian that they are big fans of his. When they ask if people stop him and ask for his autograph, he says, "I'm a celebrity."

So basically Latarian has learned that acting out in potentially lethal ways makes you cool, and that violence is a great way to express your anger, so long as you don’t get caught.

Photo: ecoustics.com

Kidnap dad caught

Brett Singer — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:20:00 GMT

Clark Rockefeller, the divorced father who kidnapped his 7-year-old daughter during a scheduled parental visit, was in a Baltimore courtroom this morning. Curious about what he was wearing? Me neither, but the Boston Herald tell us that he was "shackled at the legs and wearing a Lacoste shirt, khaki pants and loafers," which the reporter describes as "preppy."

What's unclear at the moment is just who this guy is. Baltimore prosecuting attorney Patricia Deros told the press that Rockefeller "looks like Woody Allen" (objection, counselor – relevance?), and also that they don't have a name for him other than Clark Rockefeller. Apparently he's quite wealthy, and has been described as a "fake Rockefeller," or, as the Daily News put it, Crockefeller. (Which really should be somebody's rap name, but that's a different topic.) I'm not clear on how it is that he's not a real Rockefeller but just uses the name, or if he's an unrelated Rockefeller (which, in my opinion, would sort of suck because then everyone would always expect you to pick up the tab, even though you're not really that rich.) The Boston Herald says that the allegedly kidnapping pop has "no passport or driver’s license and police have struggled to piece together his life prior to the early 1990s, before he married Boss." What I find odd is that the ex-wife hasn't provided police with more information, although of course it's possible that she did and we haven't heard about.

If you missed it, the basic details of the case appear to be that Clark Rockefeller was married to a woman named Sandra Boss, with whom he fathered a daughter named Reigh, although they called her "Snooks." They got divorced, Boss won full custody and moved to London. On a scheduled – and supervised – visit to Boston, the father jumped into a moving SUV with Red Sox stickers on the back (no comment). The social worker that was supervising the visit hung onto the vehicle as it pulled away. The drivers of the SUV were duped into helping him (I would say that this must have been easy because they were Red Sox fans, but that's going too far). In one of those details that you file under "if you wrote this in a script no one would believe it", he had purchased a house on Ploy Street in preparation for living under the name Chip Smith.

Anyway, he's been caught, and as far as I can tell the little girl is OK. If you want a timeline of articles about this case, click here. It's a weird story, and at least he's in custody.

image: NY Daily News

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Return of the son of stuff YUPPIE parents like

Brett Singer — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Because too much is never enough. And besides, didn't you want to see this photo at least one more time?

1. Organic everything: from a commenter. I've succumbed to some of this, partly because, living in Manhattan, the cost difference isn't as great as it used to be, and sometimes the quality is better. I also admit that I feel less guilt giving my kids "organic" pre-packaged crap than I do giving them "chemical-laden" pre-packaged crap. It's still crap, but it's ORGANIC crap.

2. Classes and activities: yes, from the same commenter. She said, "mommy and me classes" but in my experience it's much more than that. Around here, it seems like everyone has their kids doing something all flippin' day. A parent once told me that she didn't understand why Kindergarten went until 3pm; she wished it ended at noon so her kid could take advantage of everything Manhattan had to offer. I replied that I thought Kindergarten should go until 8pm. We don't talk much anymore.

3. Kids' music that parents can enjoy: All parents have benefited from the boom in kiddie rock. While I am of course very glad that children's music has evolved beyond Raffi (who really isn't that bad) and Kidz Bop (which is), sometimes this preciousness can go a little too far. Sure, anything by Dan Zanes or The Dirty Sock Funtime Band is better than Barney's Greatest Hits, but a little James Taylor, Peter Paul and Mary, The Beatles – lots of great "adult" music out there that kids might like.

4. Taking their children to live rock 'n' roll shows: "Alternadad" Neal Pollack brought his little one to see The Hives, a rather loud quasi-punk act. I spotted two sets of parents who had dragged their children to see Yaz at the Beacon theater (I myself was dragged by my wife, but that's another story). When commenters on Gawker are giving good parenting advice ("Neil [sic], seriously--ear plugs"), you know something is out of whack in the universe.

5. Anything that isn't made of granite. At least after we found out about the radiation.

For more, click here.

image: nostalgiacentral.com

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More stuff YUPPIE parents like

Brett Singer — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

If you want to know why YUPPIE is written in CAPS, check out the comments on Redsy's post.

Also, a word of explanation for our younger readers: "yuppie" is a term that was coined in the 1980's. It means "Young Urban Professional." Obnoxious spin off terms include "buppie" (black urban professional) and "guppie" (gay urban professional, which is at least vaguely amusing). In general, I think that the term "yuppie" is (like myself) color-blind, so we'll just stick with that. (My color-blindness mostly means I need help choosing ties, but it also refers to non-clothing related issues.)

And now – the stuff!

1.   Fertility treatments: maybe this is a Manhattan thing, but I've seen several signs in drug store windows advertising help getting your health insurance to help pay to get you pregnant. My theory (unfounded and unresearched) is that there are a large number of parents having children later in life, and also a huge number of older dads starting second families with their second wives.
2.   Wooden toys: this is from a commenter, and it's totally true. I fully expect some "mompreneur" to start selling unadorned two-by-fours in colorful packaging. (Hang on, I need to copyright that idea.)
3.   SUV's: hopefully the price of gas will put the kibosh on these. There are other ways to schlep a family around town.
4.   Hybrid cars: for the parents who don't want SUV's. It's all about extremes, people.
5.   Feeling entitled to brunch: In some cases, even men want to emulate the Sex and the City gals.

For more, click here.

image: nostalgiacentral.com

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Greenhouse: Why $4 Gas is a Good Thing

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:03:00 GMT

People are freaking out about the high price of gas ($100 to fill up your tank!!) but they shouldn't be. Higher U.S. gas prices are long overdue, and should come closer to offsetting the costs of automobile usage on the environment. European countries have long had high gas prices (a gallon of gas in Germany costs $8 or more). As prices climb higher, more people will have more incentive to walk or take the bus or ride a bike and cut down on the number of unnecessary trips.

But nothing compares to the sheer pleasure of watching SUV drivers have to finally begin to pay for all the lousy mileage they ignored a few years ago (fuH2, anyone?)

Obviously, people earning low wages are also hurt by higher gas prices, and higher food and rent costs, and the slumping real estate market. If we had any sort of social safety net, gas prices wouldn't make or break families.

Even so, it's high time people in this country got smarter, dumped their unnecessarily big ass cars and learned how to live smaller and hold public officials accountable for corporate welfare. And I hope it is obvious, here, that I'm talking about people driving H2s, not families without access to public transportation who drive what they have to get where tehy need to be.

Edited to add:

Will someone explain to me how it is elitist to pick on people who choose to have Escapades and Hummers when they could easily afford a Prius?

Strollerderby : SUV

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