Strollerderby : Jeanne Sager

Is Candy Medicine the New Candy Cigarette?

JeanneSager — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:06:00 GMT

Remember candy cigarettes? So much fun pretending to be so bad? I haven't seen them on store shelves for years, so I've got to assume marketers saw the danger of hooking kids with candy. But I wonder: is the new trend toward diguising kids medicines as gummy candies really any better?

The gelatinous blobs have sold like hotcakes to parents who have struggled to make their children swallow the traditional pediatrician-prescribed multi-vitamin. The fight to take your fiber pill becomes a non-entity when you're promising them, "you can have a gummy this morning!"

And here's where I'm going to play the grinch. I'm not going to argue they're easier to serve up, but should we really teach our kids that medicines are like candy?

Like those sweet slim ciggies before them, the gummy meds are parading something potentially dangerous in a candy form. Even "good for you" medicines like vitamins, which can reach toxic levels when overconsumed. Even those fiber treats, meant to keep your kids from getting blocked up, can cause the exact opposite when they get hold of the bottle of sweets and go to town.

So let's weigh this out - toxic possible overdose versus a morning fight. Which are you going to pick?

Image: MyCalorieCounter

One School, 19 Sets of Twins

JeanneSager — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 14:27:00 GMT

They're seeing double at Armstrong Elementary School in Garland, Texas. And double. And double.

The small Texas school has just five hundred thirty-nine students - and thirty-eight of them are twins. There are nine sets in the second grade alone.

It's surely a sign of the trend toward twins - spurred on by fertility interventions. These days, one out of every thirty-three kids is a twin (compared to one in eighty back in the day). In 2004, there were more than one hundred thirty two thousand twin births recorded in the U.S. - more than any year prior (that was the latest year data is available on, no word on whether it's risen in the past five years).

There's no question there are more of them, but I'd hazard a guess they're more spread out too. And they're bringing more attention. Perhaps because because the hot button fertility drug issue (hello Octomom) make these parents an easy mark? The years have also been marked by advancements in medical technologies that keep twin pregnancies going and keep premie duos alive.

And perhaps I'm the anomaly that proves the rule, but I never thought twins were rare. I grew up in the eighties in an even smaller school than Armstrong (there were thirty-four kids in my graduating class). And there was one set of twins in my class, plus half of a set of a twins (his brother failed a year and ended up behind us). My next door neighbors had identical twin boys, I have a set of twin uncles (born in the sixties) plus a set of twin cousins. None of these kids were born with fertility interventions.

Twins make up seven percent of the population at Armstrong. But they made up eight percent of the population in my third grade class.

Did you know a lot of twins growing up or are you meeting your first multiples as parents?

Image: MSNBC

Got a Sick Child? Go Online

JeanneSager — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 19:31:00 GMT

When I first read that more parents are going online after their kids get sick, I had thoughts of hundreds of graduates of Google University picking fights with the med. school grads trying to take care of their kids.

Good news: that's not what this story is about.

Not that parents can't find some good quality health information online. But there's enough fearmongering and misinformation online to make you never trust an MD again.

But a recent post over at the U.S. News and World Report parenting blog by Nancy Shute pointed to a phenomena that's been widely used, and yet widely overlooked: the online patient support group. Especially important for parents who don't want to leave their kids' hospital bedsides or have little time for nighttime support group meetings (and no money for a sitter when it's all going to the medical bills), online support groups offer not only a (virtual) shoulder to cry on but a go-to source for navigating the net full of all that fearmongering and misinformation.

They've read most of it and dissected it already. Plus, they've been where you are right now, and they can help you get to where they are. As Shute points out, they've also got a stake in finding the answers you want. Your doctors may be fantastic and incredibly intelligent, but they simply don't have the same kind of time to devote to your incessant quest for knowledge.

And online, we very often can find it - and in ways that we couldn't in our hometowns. Where there might be 100 kids with food allergies at your kid's elementary school, there are hundreds of thousands of parents dealing with them over at Kids With Food Allergies. Where only one in four thousand kids is born with cystic fibrosis across the entire U.S., hundreds of their moms and dads are blogging at CysticFibrosis.com.

Of course, you can't trust it all - read any blog (even Strollerderby), and there's a tendency for parents to post medical advice (here they leave it in comments), and for other parents to say, "oh, that's interesting, I didn't know that, I'll have to do that." Where people are quicker to discount the spoken word, a possible loon in an in-the-flesh support group, something about seeing the words written on a computer screen makes parents (people in general really) more trusting.

Would you prefer an in-the-flesh support group or are you all about online?

Image: OETSG

What's the Difference Between a Palestinian Kid and an Israeli One?

JeanneSager — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 16:26:00 GMT

If you're looking for some trick answer here, I'm sorry to disappoint.

A simple but brilliant advertising campaign about tolerance in the Middle East sporting a nearly identical set of kids actually depicts two kids who share no blood. They've never even met.

But the Israeli girl looks an awful lot like the Palestinian boy beside her in the project put together by Belgian artist Olivier Suter as part of his series of "Enemies" advertisements. Meant to help people celebrate their differences, the project began in Belgium, where Suter asked people to compare a French and Flemish speaker. But it's a bit more poignant in the Middle East for obvious reasons (hello Gaza, West Bank, bombs . . . ).

Using kids is a genius move for equally obvious reasons. It's hard to look at the pictures and not think about allowing their fresh faces to make up for centuries of mistakes, about letting them just be kids. Or maybe that's just me. If you're dead set on destroying the "other kind," these pictures probably won't have much affect. But for those good souls have simply gotten caught up in the fervor of the crowd, the face of a child (or two children who look like one) may be just what it takes.

The kids, by the way, are named Hadas Maor (that's the Israeli girl) and Adam Shurati, who was a little upset to learn people thought he looked like a girl (come on, he's a little boy, he's allowed to bristle at this one). Adam's mom had his hair cut to help Suter with matching the kids. She thought the project was brilliant, as did Hadas' dad, a supporter of a "two-state" system that would allow for the peaceful co-existence of Palestinians and Israelis in the region.

Image: Haaretz

They Say: Staying Together for the Kids? Don't

JeanneSager — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:01:00 GMT

How many times have you heard someone in marital distress say they're just trying to make it through for the kids? Might want to give them a hug next time and tell them they shouldn't worry about it.

A new study has found what plenty of kids of bitter, bickering parents already knew: staying together for the kids doesn't work.

Looking at teens from almost two thousands households and tracking them through to their early thirties, the study out of Cornell University in New York linked "exposure to parental conflict in adolescence . . . with poorer academic achievement, increased substance use and early family formation and dissolution, often in ways indistinguishable from living in a stepfather or single-mother family."

Again, not totally surprised here. But it's an important finding FOR parents who have long sought comfort as they navigate the difficult road of divorce. The dissolution of a relationship is almost never easy, and blame is quite often the name of the game. When kids are involved, the ante is upped as couples have to factor in more than just the two people in the marriage itself.

Studies have already found that divorce does not change the way a person parents. If you're doing a good job before the split, there's no reason to think you'll fall down on the job after the decree becomes final.

Parents should also take a long, hard look at their kids pre-split. Poor behavior that parents have often associated with post-divorce stress has been found to be something parents were overlooking in the midst of their marital discord. It was already there. The good news? Researchers say it doesn't actually get worse.

At the end of the day, I could never tell someone, "hey, yeah, get divorced." That's a very personal decision. But knowing you're worrying about your kids in the process means you're already far ahead of a lot of parents.

Image: OrlandoNest

Who's the Little Kid Here?

JeanneSager — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:29:00 GMT

Let me just say I love summer festivals. But I can't stand the people who man booths at said summer festivals.

They need to get a grip on BOUNDARIES.

I took my daughter to a local "pet and animal" festival over the weekend along with one of my best friends and her son. Feeding ponies, petting goats and picking up bunnies was all well and good. Until they met the guy with the fire dog, who clipped two leashes to the dog's collar and let the kids take the Dalmation for a walk. Sounds like a dream come true for two kids, right? Wait, there's more.

The man proceeded to tell my friend and I that he "hated kids and dogs." It should have been a sign, but our kids were in heaven. So we stood there, watching carefully to make sure the dog didn't pull the two pre-schoolers into the road, while the man set up for his "musical presentation." A presentation that we soon realized, was slated to include our kids.

Um, OK? Again, we were stuck weighing out - do we disappoint our kids who are extra eager to take a spoon and a washboard and play "back up" or let them stay? Yes, we were letting the kids rule the day, but that was the point of the trip. We weren't checking out a pets and animal festival for our health.

But when we were done, we were done. A few songs under their belt, we had the kids convinced we should move on to the next event. But the man with the band had other ideas. "Just one more song?" he asked.

"OK, just one more song." So they sang the "Itsy Bitsy Spider," and we watched. OK. Done. "No, just one more song?" the man asked. This time he didn't wait for us to relent. He started singing, and the kids joined in. We were moving in by the time he'd finished, when he gave my friend's son the microphone, handing it direclty the four-year-old like he had the power to make the decisions here. "Want to sing the five little monkeys song?" What four-year-old was going to say no to that?"

While I grabbed my now shrieking daughter, the man argued, "Oh, Mom, just let her stay for one more song."

If my daughter wasn't there, I'd have snapped in his face. But if my daughter wasn't there, I wouldn't have ended up being held hostage to a festival crazy either. Because they love to prey on families, knowing we parents don't want to disappoint our kids. They say everything IN FRONT of our kids, making sure that we look like the heavies when we say no, and they offer up intoxicating fun with which we just can't compete.

Summer's just beginning, and can I say we're in for a long one?

Image: SagerScenes

Melissa Joan Hart Drops the Ball on Being a Role Model

JeanneSager — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:26:00 GMT

So Melissa Joan Hart packed on the pounds during her pregnancy. That makes her different from any other pregnant woman in America, how?

The former Sabrina the Teenage Witch star showed off her bikini-worthy bod in People last week, but it was her words that cut deep into the psyches of moms everywhere.

A picture of her post-partum at one hundred fifty-five pounds, snapped on the beach, was "horrifying," Hart told People. That's why she lost weight. Not because she felt physically bad at her weight. Because she cared what everyone else thought of her.

Wow, how, SHALLOW of her. Yeah, yeah, I know, she lives in Hollywood - she's supposed to care what the public thinks about her. She points out that living in Hollywood puts huge pressure on you, and I'd bet it would. But if you're going to use that as your excuse, you can just as easily use it as your soapbox. Because Hart is one of those women who can make a statement to the world that sets the world afire and lets other women know it is OK to walk outside of their houses with their heads held high in the days after they give birth.

But where she had the chance to be a wonderful anti-dote to the thousands of celebrity women who practically prance out of the hospital with their twiggy forms back and make the rest of us feel even worse about ourselves, Hart chose the wrong route. Showing off her hard fourteen months of work was a great example to women that you can do it, maybe. But the words "horrifying" about her post-partum body undid much of that positive message.

What happened to being honest about what happens to a woman's body during pregnancy? To facing up to the fact that the weeks after having a baby are hardly the time to focus on weight loss/gain because you're focused on a new life?

Image: People

Kelly Ripa Beats Obamas for Your Family Vacation

Post Partum Hilarity in Book Form

Adoption After Having Biological Kids: What's the Big Deal?

JeanneSager — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:28:00 GMT

I got a bit ferklempt watching the recent New York Times video of a May Lee Wong, a NYC principal who just adopted a little girl from Ethiopia after giving birth to three boys. Maybe it was the fact that the little girl, Mebrat, was thought to be three-years-old when she came to the Wong family but was, in fact, a malnourished six-year-old.

More likely? The fact that a family has adopted after having children "of their own."

Because there is still a stigma attached to mixing families of biological and adopted children. There is the inference that the older, biologically-related children will feel cast aside by their parents' decision to adopt. The idea that an adopted child won't feel they can make a home in a family where they are the only ones who don't have a blood connection.

Raised in a family with a mix of biologically-related and adoption-related aunts and uncles, it's an argument I'm familiar with - and one I can tell you holds no water. My family is my family. Just the way mixed families of steps and halves mix together, so do the adopted and the biological.

The criticism is generally lobbed at parents as they make their decisions to adopt, but at the heart they are pointed at kids - that the kids won't adapt. You can't equate the rigidity of adults with children. Because kids are more accepting of change and of other people than adults, even the most liberal-minded adult. There's also a sense of equality among kids that is inherent - something we all too often lose as we grow up and begin to experience slights both real and imagined at work and in the grocery store. For kids, life starts out an equal playing field - it's up to adults to keep it that way.

May Lee Wong's attitude toward adopting Mebrat sounds just right: "It’s not that I didn’t think my family was complete with my three boys, I knew that we had room for one more."

Image: NY Times

Adult Music For Little Kids: Get Over It

JeanneSager — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:26:00 GMT

When we get in the car, my daughter puts in her musical requests. "The Rolling Stones, please!" Yes, she's three (almost four), and she loves her some Mick and Keith.

The quota of "adult" music to kiddie tunes in her section of my iPod is an almost two to one ratio. Just because they're kids doesn't mean they have to listen to inane bouncing around nonsense, right? Right?

Well, sort of. Because "adult" music is not always the kind you want your kids singing on YouTube. But for all the ickiness of tots twirling their hair and singing Lady GaGa's Poker Face on Hannah's post last week on Strollerderby, one commentor made a good point: "You think 9 year olds understand the meaning of the lyrics?"

Because I hadn't a clue when I was a kid that Mick was "running to the shelter of" a Xanax. Knowing it now, and realizing I used to run around the house singing it, proves that no innocence was lost. I didn't grow up to be a pill head. Nor do I have some sort of problem with hearing voices after choosing Laura Brannigan's "Gloria" as my favorite tune when I was a kid and then naming half of my dolls in honor of the paranoid pop song.

Maybe I'm slightly defensive here - after all, while reading Hannah's post on Lady GaGa, I realized my daughter had walked into the room and was singing along (and I honestly couldn't tell you WHERE she'd heard the song before). But she's three. And just thinks "muh, muh, muh, mah" is really cool to say.

Kind of like "let me please introduce myself" at high Mick quality volume. We're just listening to music. We don't have to get into WHY Keith Richards looks so pickled and never pull up the Annie Liebowitz pictures of Jagger on tour.

We have limits - no Notorious BIG (and no, she didn't get to watch the movie with us either), no matter how much fun is to say "uh." Because, in the immortal words of Mick, "you don't always get what you want . . .but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need!"

What "adult" songs do your kids ask for by name?

Image: Voices.com

WTF: KKK Selling Kids T-Shirts

JeanneSager — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 14:03:00 GMT

I'm vacillating between speechless and spitting with venom. How else do you respond to news that the Ku Klux Klan is selling t-shirts for kids?

T-shirts at a Website that actually trumpets itself as a go-to source for "Christian" purchases.

I'm not sure if I should be thanking my husband for pointing this one out to me (he found it while working on a paper about domestic terrorism, FYI), but I guess the news that the KKK is targeting kids is hardly new. Kids don't come out of the womb seething with hate, so it does have to come from adults peddling bigotry to little kids. Remember, kids learn by imitating.

But making the hard Aryan sell face-to-face is disgusting enough. Sharing with the world that "Klan Kids Kare" is absolutely terrifying.

I've got to wonder, honestly, what Klan Kids Kare about. I was thinking Lynching, but according to the t-shirt, they "kare" about loving Jesus, white power and their heritage. Note to the Klan: Jesus lived in the Middle East - it's highly unlikely that his skin was white. And he certainly wasn't Aryan.

My big question, of course, is where are these kids going to wear these shirts? Besides Klan rallies, of course. Is there anywhere in public that they wouldn't be told to leave? I'm all for free speech, but if a kid walks into a school wearing a shirt that says "white power," I'd hope they get sent home to change. It's a gang symbol (yes, similar to the red of the Bloods - albeit on the opposite end).

And perhaps even more shocking here (to some of you anyway), this t-shirt is being sold by a Christian bookstore, a site that proudly proclaims itself as the "exclusive distributor of the Knights Party designs" (yes those Knights - the white ones). This to go with their "wide variety of Christian oriented t-shirts and sweatshirts." And no, I didn't find a "turn the other cheek" tee - the kind you'd sort of expect out of a Christian t-shirt selling site (OK, maybe only I would?).

Honestly, I'm not going to provide you with a link to this site. But if you REALLY need to find it for yourself (for some voyeuristic pleasure, we hope, rather than to make your purchase), enter the words "Christian books and things" into Google. It's the fourth site in the list.

Image: Christian books and things

Gay Boy Crowned Prom Queen

JeanneSager — Sat, 30 May 2009 15:08:00 GMT

He's a boy, and he's gay, but Sergio Garcia isn't ashamed to tell people he's a queen. Prom queen that is.

Describing himself as "flamboyant," openly gay Garcia was crowned the queen of his Los Angeles high school's prom this week after deciding he could better identify with being a queen than a king, and campaigning hard for the part.

After reading about the racially segregated proms still allowed in some parts of the south this week, I needed this story. Because Garcia's principal says this is a great example of how successful the school is at driving home the message of diversity. At a school that's offered LGBT programming since for the past twenty-five years, it's apparently working.

The vote wasn't unanimous, but speaking in front of his classmates to campaign for the part, Garcia told them, "I'm not your typical prom queen candidate. There's more to me than meets the eye." Kids who spoke to a local TV station said they were swayed by his words, and they cast their vote for him.

Now we can only hope the same kids start voting in California elections soon - and find a way to send proposition 8 back to pasture.

Image: Twirlit

Weird Holiday Alert: My Bucket's Got a Hole in it Day

JeanneSager — Sat, 30 May 2009 13:32:00 GMT

There are certain things every child needs to know. Chief among them: at least one song that will drive their parents absolutely bonkers (or their grandparents if you prefer).

And considering today is "My Bucket's Got a Hole In It Day," we're happy to oblige.

Because if Pete Seeger at 90 can get up onstage and inspire a rendition of There's a Hole in the Bucket (out of Kris Kristofferson and Ani DiFranco, no less), than your kids surely need to know the story of Liza and Henry. Right?

The old German folk song has been a Seeger favorite and recorded by the likes of Burl Ives, about a couple who just can't seem to get things right. Or at least never fix their bucket.

It's annoying as all get out, but hey, you have a whole summer to teach it to your kids then let them loose at the family reunion, right? So we rustled up the lyrics for you, courtesy of a Girl Scouts Song Lyrics Index on About.com:

Liza: Henry! Fetch me some water!
Henry:There's a hole in my bucket dear Liza, dear Liza
There's a hole in my bucket dear Liza, a hole.

L: Well, fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Well, fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

H:With what shall I fix it ...
L: With a straw dear Henry ...
H:The straw is too long ...
L: Well, cut it dear Henry ...
H:With what shall I cut it ...
L: With an axe dear Henry ...
H:The axe is too dull dear Liza ...
L: Well, sharpen it dear Henry ...
H:With what shall I sharpen it ...
L: With a stone dear Henry ...
H:The stone is too dry dear Liza ...
L: Well, wet it dear Henry ...
H:With what shall I wet it ...
L: With water dear Henry ...
H:In what shall I fetch it ...
L: In a bucket dear Henry ...
H:There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza ...

If you take a video of your kids doing it, put it up on YouTube, but really, you don't have to share it with us. The knowledge that we're not the only ones with this song now permanently stuck in our heads is thanks enough!

Image: Current

How You Can Keep Kids Breathing

JeanneSager — Fri, 29 May 2009 20:01:00 GMT

It's a disease that takes their breath away, but you can give it back.

Kids born with cystic fibrosis fight daily against the excessive mucus production that makes breathing a struggle. Their projected life expectancy is around thirty-seven years old.

But the Breathe 4 Tomorrow Foundation doesn't hit you over the head with their simple video that's starting to generate funds for the small Washington-based non-profit. All they ask for is $1.

In this economy, it's the kind of message that works. Pictures of brave kids undergoing treatments, a (relatively corny, but oh well) song about hope for tomorrow, and a simple request. Give them $1, and they'll help pay for the medicines for kids with cystic fibrosis.

Fundraising videos - especially featuring kids - can be cloying. But this one hit me just right (in the tear ducts). They're not presumptuous - just like the kids aren't presuming they'll live much past high school graduation or college. But you can change that.

Check out the video below. Did it move you? Then donate over at Breathe 4 Tomorrow.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

They Say: Just Get the Epidural Already

JeanneSager — Fri, 29 May 2009 18:01:00 GMT

Oh no they didn't!

A bunch of Swedish medical researchers have come out with a study that calls BS on the natural birth community. Basically, they say, get the epidural.

Full disclosure here - after hours of saying, "no, no, I can do this," I got the epidural. But before you call this one a victory for those of us who love us some painkillers, I don't see what was so scientific and exacting about this study.

They took one thousand moms-to-be and split them in half. One set went though classes on natural birth, learning breathing exercises and other natural methods to get them through the pain of labor. The other half got the "drugs are good" talk from their instructors. But once they got to the hospital, the numbers of women who said "get me drugs" was about even out of the two groups.

The scientists say this means the drugs work better.

I agree. For SOME people. Because if you ask any mom who made it through natural childbirth drug-free by choice, she didn't NEED the drugs. Ask a mom who chose the epidural (hello, over here, raising my hand)? She's going to tell you she DID NEED the drugs.

Can you tell either one she's wrong about her own body? Didn't think so.

Because it's totally subjective folks. We all have different pain thresholds. My brother broke his arm when we were kids and all he said was "ow," a few times. I broke my foot (well, he broke my foot), and I was whining about it for weeks. Walk into a pre-school, and you'll see the same thing. Two kids collide face first, and one bursts into tears. The other brushes herself off and runs off to play.

I'm also not ready to write off all breathing techniques for the reduction of/help with pain. Because as most pregnant women know, you don't get an epidural the moment your first contraction starts, and they don't last through the entire process (yes, folks, we do feel it when we're giving birth - they are not the wonder drug those who haven't had one think they are, or at least mine wasn't). Ever gotten a massage where the therapist told you to take long, deep breaths while they worked on a particularly tight knot? Or even just banged your knee particularly hard and had to breathe through it?

Unless this study is going to encourage health insurance companies not to play games over the rights of a woman to have an epidural (which, believe me, they will challenge - when the only anesthesiologist on call doesn't take your insurance, they don't have to pay the doctor, despite your NEED for that needle), what purpose does this serve?

Image: BBCNews

Get Your Stock Tips from These Kids

JeanneSager — Fri, 29 May 2009 15:27:00 GMT

You might still be content to track the market with CNBC and the Wall Street Journal, but I've got a lead on investing in Wisconsin.

A classroom of mini traders in Neenah, Wis. to be exact.

A group of fifth graders from Neenah more than doubled their money investing in fifteen different stocks, with a target on the big banks. It was all hypothetical money (and their parents are kicking themselves now, I'd bet), but it won them a state-wide economics contest.

The kids started with $100,000 (again, fake bills), and turned it into $203,000 within a period of ten weeks. Their prize is a trip to the New York Stock Exchange.

I remember doing a stock project back in high school (they start 'em so young these days, don't they?), but with picks that were based completely on my favorite things (at the time, The Gap and Tootsie Rolls), I didn't fare too well. But letting kids pick their own stocks was the name of this game - their teacher says he tells his charges he's there to act like a broker, to give advice, but not to make the decisions for them.

But no matter how much research these fifth graders did, do you really think they know any more than the folks on Wall Street? Or is this just a good reminder that the stock market really is a crap shoot?

Disney Princesses Get Nasty

JeanneSager — Fri, 29 May 2009 14:01:00 GMT

There's no major love lost between me and the Disney princesses, but I've never outright hated them. After all, my kid likes that Belle reads just as much as she thinks that yellow gown is the cat's meow.

Still, I never expected to get all mama bear on behalf of someone messing with princesskind.

Maybe it's just that the following images would scare the bejesus out of half the four-year-olds I know (yes, the other four-year-olds would think they're wicked - in a GOOD way).

Artist Jeffrey Thomas is likewise wicked - wicked talented and wicked funny (check out his blog). But he has created a series of "twisted princesses" that gave me the heebie jeebies!

Check out the Lion King's sweet pride and joy:

Twisted Princess: Nala by ~jeftoon01 on deviant ART

I'd be heading off to hang with the farting warthog if that was my girlfriend too.

Or how about Ariel looking like Ursula crawled up her tail:

Twisted Princess: Ariel by ~jeftoon01 on deviant ART

Swim Flounder, as fast as that chubby little fin can carry you!

Whoever said you couldn't mess with a good thing? Check out the rest over at Deviant Art.

Guy Blames - Who Else - Mom for Slashing Tires

JeanneSager — Thu, 28 May 2009 18:28:00 GMT

Apparently the guy caught slashing tires on almost fifty cars in Boulder, Colo. had never read Philip Larkin.

He blamed it all on Mom. Oh, and the braces she made him get when he was little. And - no surprise here - radiation.

Alright, he sounds mentally ill, so I'll lay off him. But now that I'm a parent, I think it's time I start keeping a running tab on how many people blame Mom for everything wrong in their lives vs. those who blame Dad.

Because there's no doubt dad screws up too (hence, Larkin's quote: "they f--k you up, your mum and dad" in case you don't know it). And the blame game is certainly becoming more popular in today's society (heck, I blame the parents who tell their kids it's never their fault!).

As parents, a certain percentage of our choices are naturally going to be wrong. If any of us escape un-blameworthy, you deserve more than medals. But there's no question some parents work particularly hard to screw up (um, guy who poisoned his kids to sue Campbell's Soup jumps to mind). And with kids naturally closer to one parent or the other, there's always going to be one shouldering a little more of the blame.

With an only child, who is fairly centrist in our lives (she floats from Mommy to Daddy and back again), we'll probably both feel burden. But at least she'll have something to talk to that therapist about!

Do you worry that your kids are going to blame you for certain things when they grow up?

Image: Amazon

Vote on Jon and Kate's Divorce Goes Too Far

JeanneSager — Thu, 28 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

With the reports of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and their potential demise coming fast and furious, I wasn't surprised to find a poll over at Extra's Website about whether or not the Gosselins should just call it quits.

Not surprised, but a little digusted.

Sure, it's just an informal poll. But it seems to fall dangerously close to laying bets. Laying bets on the fate of eight kids.

It's true that Jon and Kate Gosselin have brought this type of frenzy upon themselves. They signed up to do a national TV show. They invited cameras into their living room. They let us see their kids struggle with potty training and sibling rivalry. We're going to speculate. We're going to write about it (I know I have), and we're going to talk about it. As a willing participant in that frenzy, I can't criticize the rest of the group for doing it.

And I wouldn't - they've put themselves in the public domain (hence all that talk about how they are fame whores exploiting their kids!).

This poll, however, asks "Are the Gosselins headed for divorce?" with the choices:

A. Yes, it's better for them to break up

B. No, they will stay together for the kids.

Perhaps it's no different than any other piece that's appeared on the internet. I haven't seen them all; and I'd wager Extra isn't the first to bust out something of this sort. But this isn't talk about what is actually going on in their marriage or even weighing in on WHY we do or do not like Jon and Kate Plus 8.

I just can't get past the ick factor of actually laying wagers (albeit with no financial gain) on someone's marriage. I'd have the same problem with a poll on Brad and Angelina. Or Michelle and Barack. This is not some misguided loyalty toward the Gosselins. There are times where I'd even say it IS better for a couple to get divorced, despite the presence of children.

But where I can criticize the Gosselins for being famewhores, for what's seen on TV, even what's reported by sponsors of Kate at speaking engagements, I wouldn't tell my best friend to divorce her husband. I can't well see telling the parents of eight kids who I've never met to do it. Or laying bets on it.

What do you think Babble readers? Would you feel icky taking that kind of poll? If not - go for it.

Image: Extra

Speaking Engagement Host Tells Kate Gosselin: Be Nice!

Jon & Kate Plus 8 Premiere Snags 9.8 Million Viewers

Kelly Ripa Beats Obamas for Your Family Vacation

JeanneSager — Thu, 28 May 2009 15:01:00 GMT

I've got a bone to pick with American families.

Or at least those signing up for nitwit surveys. Because apparently you would rather spend your vacation with a talk show host than the leader of the free world.

That's right, Kelly Ripa has topped the vote of who American families want to vacation with this year, outlasting the Obama family by a full seven points.

Sure, she might be able to get you a line on a really nice washer/dryer, but she's still Regis' perky partner (we're assuming she'd be leaving him home, by the way?). Given the choice of her or the president of the United States, the absolutely incredible first lady and those cute little girls, you know where I'd be.

And that's not just because I'm a liberal. If you're a Republican, you can't tell me you REALLY wouldn't like to bend the ear of the guy on top of it all? No? What if he said he'd let you stay at Camp David for free this summer? The Lincoln Bedroom?

You'd still rather make bedroom eyes at Kelly Ripa?

Sheesh, America, let's wake up here. She's cute, but she can't get your out-of-work Uncle Lenny a job.

Ripa had twenty-six percent of the vote in the Ipsos Public Affairs poll, compared to nineteen percent for Barack and co. By the way, kudos to the folks who picked the Obamas over the Jolie-Pitts. Brangelina and their brethren had just sixteen percent of the vote.

Who do you want to barbecue on the beach with this summer?

Image: People.com

Hint: We Really Might Know Our Kids Better Than You

JeanneSager — Wed, 27 May 2009 20:04:00 GMT

The best part of the latest Non-Breeder column on Babble? The author realizes she was being a bit of a tool.

Not that all "non breeders" are bad people. Far from it. But the expectation that they know better than a parent does how to raise their kids runs high among the kid-free crowd.

And somehow, for all our protestations that we might know our kids a little better than they do, comes the insistence that, hey, you can bring your kid out to the bar at 11 p.m. . . . they'll just sleep in their carrier! Or, in the case of Rachel Odell Walker, the insistence that an eight-month-old belongs on a three mile hike (with a 2,000 foot vertical climb).

I won't rip Walker to shreds, because she does that to herself in her essay. She realized she was a bit of a jerk, and she apologized. It happens to the best of us.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of non-breeders who are still stuck in the first half of Walker's essay. They still think we're staying home with our kids because we're Debbie Downer. As Walker says, "I believed she could reverse her negativity and stop focusing focus on difficult things with a mixture of personal will, therapy, and endorphins."

In a way, you can't blame them. If you don't have kids, you don't think about the money it costs to hire a sitter. You don't have to.

If you don't have kids, you don't think about the aftermath of a night out on the town, of getting up at 5 a.m. with our three-year-old when you didn't crawl into bed until 2 a.m. because the child doesn't understand Mommy wants to sleep. You don't think about the conscious decision to abstain from alcohol because you're breastfeeding.

You don't think about the realities of trying to keep a small child occupied and quiet in a restaurant. Or the fact that that small child has a right to NOT be cooped up in a highchair just because Mommy and Daddy want a night out on the town.

It's why so many of us have lost touch with friends we held near and dear before the baby days. It's important that we as parents respect their lifestyles (don't nag on them for not having kids, for cripes sake, and don't expect them to love, love, love our kids every minute of every day), but it's just as important that they get us.

That they GET that sometimes, it's a lot easier for them to come to OUR houses because we don't have to pack the trunk full of a porta-crib, diaper bag, box of toys, etc. just to have a night out. That we aren't being petulant - just realistic. That kids aren't accessories.

The chief criticism I hear for parents from non-parents is that we change our lives too much after the baby comes along. Yes, we change our lives. But how can we not? Because we are now responsible for someone's entire life. Is there any other responsibility so big? For that matter, would you tell an airplane pilot he's being a big party pooper because he opts out on "the fun" the night before he's supposed to fly a plane full of people's lives?

I'm not asking my friends to make major sacrifices just because I have a kid. They can go out and do their own thing, have their own fun on their time. It's true, I had this child; not them. They don't even have to like my child. But if non-breeders value the person underneath the new parent veil, they will realize, if they want time with us, they need to meet us in the middle.

Don't Give Me Your Tired, Your Stained

We're Not Judging You, Pinky Swear

Playdate: Does Your Sitter 'Love' Your Kids?

Who Really Cares if They Have Perfect Attendance?

JeanneSager — Wed, 27 May 2009 18:27:00 GMT

A perfect game only takes nine innings (seven in high school). But perfect attendance takes two thousand three hundred forty days.

That's one hundred eighty school days times thirteen years of school. Of this year's crop of seniors, guess how many have that kind of record? Not a whole heckuva lot.

But for all the kudos due Stefanie Zaner of Maryland for her thirteen years of showing up at school (hey, it earned her a feature in the Washington Post), there are plenty of reasons not to stress yourself out about your kid's not-so-perfect attendance.

As Zaner's teachers attest, she was an extraordinarily healthy kid. She wasn't the kid walking in the door with a high fever and a vomit bag to make it through the day. That's luck (and a hearty immune system). According to the CDC, the average kid gets anywhere from six to twelve illnesses a year (from the common cold to a major bout with a bug). Nearly twenty-two million school days are lost to the common cold alone.

And you know how you stop the spread of all those icky disease? By keeping your sick kid HOME. Hence all those school closures in the face of swine flu, folks.

It's also worth nothing that Zaner called the last two years of her life the most stressful, period. And it wasn't just being a kid looking at getting into college. She said the idea of being "perfect" weighed heavily on her. Credit goes to this incredible kid for not crumbling under the pressure, but if she hadn't grabbed this particular brass ring, would anyone really have thought any less of her? Colleges? Her parents? Her first boss?

If this is something your kid wants to do, and is up to doing, fine. But don't make it your goal Mom and Dad.

Image: Toombs

PBS Launching Dinosaur Train for Science Kids

JeanneSager — Wed, 27 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

For parents who have fallen in love with Sid the Science Kid (who hasn't?), good news! PBS is going prehistoric this fall with a new show aimed at expanding their offerings for our little scientists.

Dinosaur Train will let our kids hop onboard with Buddy, a young T-Rex adopted by a family of Pterandons

I haven't seen the show yet, but I'm A. loving that there's a show out there for all those dinosaur fans - and we all know there are many and B. digging the fact that there's an adopted kid on TV for adopted kids to relate to . . . even if it is a kid with two giant feet and two teeny hands!

Produced by The Jim Henson Company, the show will feature two eleven-minute segments daily with live-action interestitials featuring paleontologist Scott Sampson (you've seen him on Discovery Channel's Dinosaur Planet) dishing out dino nuggets (with no extra calories). The train alluded to in the name will take Buddy and his family and friends on adventures through time, chugga-chugga-ing to the Triassic, Jurassic and Cretaceous periods.

Can't wait? Set your Tivo for Sept. 7.

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Three Ways To Get to Sesame Street This Summer

JeanneSager — Wed, 27 May 2009 15:02:00 GMT

The pressure's on to plan the big family vacation? Two words. Sesame Street.

And Babble's telling you how to get, how to get there. We've checked in with Elmo and Abby Cadabby and come up with our list of the best bets for Sesame-style summering with your tot.

1. Busch Gardens, Williamsburg, VA. It's an old family standby, but the Forest of Fun at the popular theme park is all new and all Sesame. Gates opened in April, adding the country of characters to the park's traditional tour of Europe set-up. We let our pre-school tester loose in the park, and "let's ride it again!" was the phrase of the day. Topping her list were a nice and easy (for mom) Ernie and Bert adventure in the "lochs" of Scotland - it left her soaking wet and squealing with fun; and a mini roller-coaster courtesy of Super Grover that gave her a taste of the belly-dropping fun of the big coasters without the fear factor. Located near the entrance to the park, the Forest of Fun is just right - a great intro to the day, and something for them to look forward to getting back to when they're off with the rest of the family checking out the rest of the "gardens."

Why You Should Go: The price of a ticket affords a family admission to the whole park, making Busch Gardens the go-to for families with kids whose ages range. Sesame characters put on impromptu shows that get the whole family moving (no extra charge), and there's something for even the tiniest toddlers to do.

Good to Know: There are water attractions, but clothes are required on most rides, so throw some shorts on over their suits. Dining with the characters does not require advance reservations - price of food is not included in the ticket - but you need to check for specific meal times when you enter the park. A picture station with the characters is set up on site, and they will allow you to take your own pictures (just ask) or you can buy one of theirs. Take a stroller - even if your kid is busting out of it, it's not for them but for the cameras, bottles of water and stuffed animals won at the games along the way.

2. Sesame Place, Langhorne, PA. Owned by the same company that runs Busch Gardens (yes, the beer company), this is all Sesame, all summer long. Our little tester recommends you stop in for an in-theatre showing of Elmo's World, followed by a chance to climb around on stage where they can play Elmo's song on the piano and say "hello" to Dorothy.

Why You Should Go: This is the place for hard-core Sesame fans, but additions of a few extra roller-coasters also allow the older set to have their fun. The park is all Sesame, which means the crowd is all families and so is the staff's focus.

Good to Know: A two-day ticket costs the same as a one-day fee, so break up the day to make it easier on your kids (and hit the nearby outlets to save on kids clothes). Breakfast with the characters requires an advance reservation, but it gives your family a chance to be the first ones into the park - no lines, and the food isn't bad for theme park fare (even our daddy tester had a hankering for the little French toast sticks). The characters wander throughout the park during the day, so chances are you'll get to meet everyone. Again, you can take your own pictures (just ask) or buy the park's. Bring a swimsuit - there's plenty of water.

3. Sesame Street Live, a city near you. For families who are skipping the week-long or even extended weekend's vacation this year, a day trip to see a show can lift your kid's spirits, get you out of the house and save you a bundle. And if that show happens to offer them a chance to see their furry friend? That's just a bonus for mom or dad.

Why You Should Go: The show is always educational, and your tot will be in awe at the size of their favorite friends on-stage. Even kids who aren't ready to be taken to the movie theater yet are OK in a theater when the show is made for kids.

Good to Know: Regardless of where the show is being performed, there will be kiosks with Sesame goodies, so if you've opted for the show to save on the big vacation, you might want to make a deal with your kids BEFORE you go in. Whether it's "no extras today" or "you may pick out one toy," have a game plan because they're unavoidable, and plenty of kids will be brandishing their Sesame binoculars or Elmo balloons. The show does include an intermission for potty breaks, so your kids don't have to miss out Grover galumphing because they've got to go.

Image: Sager Scenes

They Say: Another Reason to Vaccinate Your Kid

JeanneSager — Wed, 27 May 2009 14:28:00 GMT

The no-vax movement got more bad news this week with a report in Pediatrics that confirms herd immunity does not keep the non-vaccinated safe.

The study by researchers at Kaiser Permanente Colorado and Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health determines kids whose parents opt out on vaccines are twenty three times more likely to develop pertussis than their vaccinated peers.

More commonly known as whooping cough, the incidence of pertussis was rapidly declining in the U.S. from the 1940s through the late nineties thanks to vaccinations. But with parents forgoing the vaccines, the numbers are back up - big time. In 2005 alone, more than twenty-five thousand cases were reported (for comparison check out the numbers in 1976 - only one thousand ten cases in the entire U.S.).

Those numbers should have proven the importance (and efficacy) of the vaccine, but parents have been skipping the vaccine in increasing numbers, or delaying it as part of the system touted by Dr. Robert Sears, a much revered pediatrician by the middle-of-the pack vax crowd. The study at Kaiser found that eleven percent of the kids who contracted pertussis were kids whose parents actually refused the vaccine (which makes a difference - these weren't kids whose parents opted out because of a medical issue that kept them from getting the vaccine).

What a fair number of anti-vaccine parents fail to realize is the problem isn't just the other kids their kids are coming in contact with. Even if the majority of American kids get the vaccine, adults age out of their immunity. Which means unless they head to the doctor for a booster, they're susceptible to the disease, and carriers who could be passing it on to your kids (studies indicate at least one third of pertussis cases were transmitted by mother to child).

And pertussis is not a silly, laugh it off disease. It can kill, particularly infants.

So if herd immunity isn't protecting your kids from pertussis, what else isn't it protecting them from?

Image: LA Times

Playdate: Does Your Sitter 'Love' Your Kids?

JeanneSager — Tue, 26 May 2009 20:01:00 GMT

My daughter tells her babysitter "I love you" every day when I pick her up and gives her a kiss. Her sitter does it right back.

And although we're not related, it doesn't bother me one wit.

According to Amy Jo over at Philly Moms Blog, it should. The stay-at-home mom says she's protecting her kids from insincerity when she says she'd rather not hear her kids' childcare provider using the "love" word with her kids.

"My oldest is only three and change, and I doubt he understands the difference between how his parents love him and how his teachers "love" him. I would hate for him to suffer any kind of hurt over this confusion," she says.

Hold on a minute here. Doesn't everyone who "loves" our kids love them in different degrees? You don't tell Great Aunt Sally not to say "I love you" even though she sees them once a year and can barely remember their names, do you? True, she's family, but this woman doesn't even know their names! And sends your son barrettes to wear in his buzz-cut hair!

Maybe I'm particularly lucky. My nursery school teacher still gives me a hug when she sees me, and she's been out of the game for some twenty years. Living in Florida most of the year, she sees me only in the summers at chance run-ins at the grocery store. And still, she remembers particular details about my childhood and relates them with a genuine smile. She might not love me like one of the kids she gave birth to, but I was one of her kids. Just like the hundreds of other little boys and girls who went through her little house on the hill catty-cornered from the old Chevy dealership.

Somehow, I'd bet she's the rule rather than the exception when it comes to folks who sign up for her (former) profession.

Amy Jo admits she's being cynical when she fears the teachers are just buttering her up for a better gift at the end of the year. But, really, if the people are in it for the gifts, they've chosen the wrong profession.

I chose my sitter based on a number of factors - but the number one was how she related to kids. She genuinely likes being around them and caring for them. So yes, I believe she loves my daughter. Not the kind of all-consuming love that I have for her, of course, but a love that makes her take the kind of care of her that I'd want someone to take while I can't be with her. You can't just turn the mama/papa bear thing on during the hours you watch a child and turn it off when they walk out the door.

Image: Clipartguide.com