Strollerderby : Britney

Britney Spears Will Cancel Tour If Kids Can't Come

Brett Singer — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Famecrawler and TMZ are reporting that Britney Spears says that she won't tour if her kids can't join her.

When I first saw this I thought, "Oh good. Another loony celeb mom who wants to drag her young'uns around the globe. What's wrong with these people?"

Upon further reading, it seems that Brit wants to set things up so that Sean Preston and Jayden James would stay put at three different "bases" in New Jersey, New Orleans, and Los Angeles. Mama Britney would "commute" from her shows to the home bases, thereby enabling her to tour and see the boys.

Why is this even a story? Because Britney, her family Jamie Spears (not to be confused with Jamie LYNN Spears, Britney's sister) and Kevin Federline (K-Fed) worked out this deal on their own. Without the lawyers. And that, my friends, is a veddy bad idea.

According to TMZ, K-Fed's lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan says that the situation, "could have been handled better if Jamie and company would have 'manned up' and had Kevin got the benefit of his lawyers to protect his position." K-Fed's attorney will present his own version of the deal, thereby justifying his existence and removing a roadblock to the deal going through – his ego.

Regarding that last paragraph: I'm not sure that I'm correct about that analysis, but I think I am.

Here's what I have a problem with here. As a parent, I would think that Britney and K-Fed would want to keep the details of their custody battle private. If Britney's dad can work out a deal with them, why is K-Fed's lawyer jumping in and mucking up the works, and possibly leaking the information to the press? Again: I need to say that I don't know if Mr. Kaplan, K-Fed's attorney, leaked anything. But he did provide a quote to TMZ about Jamie Spears "manning up". What kind of language is that? Why not keep things as cordial as possible? I understand him wanting to look for K-Fed's interests. But why insult the kids' grandfather, who is also in charge of Britney's interests at the moment?

As for Britney touring or not, I think that she's entitled to go out on the road since that's her job. If it were Federline who had a successful career (or any career at all, frankly), I seriously doubt that anyone would be concerned with what happens to the kids, despite that fact that he has custody. I don't think it's a great idea for kids to be schlepped all over the globe while mom prances around in stadiums wearing Spandex. But if they can work out a way to do it so that the kids aren't overly inconvenienced, what's wrong with that? Anglina Jolie and Brad Pitt bring those kids all over the place and nobody seems to mind.

I have to admit that reading this story, my eyes started to roll back in my head. Even keeping straight which Jamie Spears they're talking about – the father or the sister – starts to get difficult after awhile. Maybe I need to read more gossip magazines.

Source: Famecrawler, TMZ

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Three-Year-Old Romanian Girl Youngest Singer, and She's Cute As All Get Out

JeanneSager — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 16:59:00 GMT

I hope they have access to Babble in Romania. With the economy the way it is, I'm thinking a move to South Central Europe is in order. At least there my 3-year-old could be making some big bucks to keep Mommy and Daddy in the lifestyle to which we've become accustomed (and yes, by lifestyle I mean the Noggin-watching, orange juice-drinking, early morning-rising life of parenting).

Turns out the youngest person to EVER have a number one hit, a record contract and an MTV contract is Romanian born Cleopatra Stratan. The cute-as-a-button daughter of Romanian star Pavel Stratan was 3 when she performed for two hours in front of a live audience, 3 when Ghita hit number one.

The video is adorable. . . and a little disturbing. Have you ever seen a 3-year-old sit that still? Introduce me, will you?

That was three years ago, which puts Cleopatra past her prime of course. Think Britney, not Miley. There's even a section of her Wikipedia page that refers to her early life - I guess that would be pre-potty training? But with her getting older every day, I'm thinking my 3-year-old can move right in there. We've already got the advantage - I can't understand a word of Ghita, and the Romanians won't be able to understand a word my daughter says. So how will they know if she's been practicing or just watching Noggin?

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Adrienne Martini — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:00:00 GMT

A couple of weeks ago, my 6-year old daughter was looking over my shoulder as I was reading a magazine. The rag in question was something innocuous like Real Simple. I flipped to a page that had an ad for some miracle anti-aging lotion that featured an unlined-but-mature woman. My girl quickly asked me, as I was about to flip the page, "do you think that lady is hot?"

I did what I usual do when faced with new parenting challenges, which is to blink a lot.

"What do you mean by 'hot?" I asked.

"Hot, mom. Like hot." She did a little dance that made it clear what hot meant. And then I heard my brain quietly implode.

I thought I could wait a few years before thinking about my daughter, body image and early sexualization. I was wrong, especially in light of a fairly recent APA report on the sexualization of little girls.

It's not all bad news -- and parents aren't powerless in the face of Britney's midriff. Happily, two bloggers came up with a list of ten ways to combat the sexual age creep. And, no, sitting on the couch and blinking isn't one of them.

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Boys Will Be Boys and Other Reasons for Theft

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:29:00 GMT

A weird thing happened to us twice this week, and the idea of it is still annoying me. At two different outings, two different boys toddled over to my daughter, snatched whatever toy she was playing with and toddled away. Emmeline is a few months over 2 now, and has long ago stopped snatching things from other people's hands, and so I could see she was perplexed that such an obvious atrocity would befall her. So of course she started to cry.

I looked up at the other parents and on both occasions, they shrugged and said something along the lines of, "Boys will be boys."

What does that mean?

As a parent of a girl, have I missed something? Is it now socially acceptable for boys to snatch crap from other people' hands? If it was one occasion, I would have shrugged it off as a playground parent who was probably into a good book and didn't want to be bothered. I could totally understand that. But two different people -- offering the same reasons for why it's OK for boys to bully others? Did Po Bronson write some article saying that's OK now?

I wanted to put it up review, just to see if this was the all-around world view: Boys will be boys -- they can do whatever they want. Fact or fiction?

Is it fair to take pictures of Britney's kids?

Brett Singer — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:53:00 GMT

You may have heard about the photographs of Britney Spears smoking while 2-year-old Sean Preston was playing with her cigarette lighter. Well, the actual photo doesn't quite show that. Here it is:

Now, far be it from me to disagree with the celebrity media machine, but this doesn't look as bad as it sounds. In this pic she looks to be taking the cigarettes away from her child. That would be the right thing to do. The better thing to do would be to not smoke at all, and especially not in front of your kids. Second-hand smoke is very dangerous, especially to little lungs. It also makes me wonder if she was smoking while pregnant, which would be much worse. My guess – and I have nothing to back this up – is that she probably was. As a former smoker, I know how hard it is to quit, and it looks to me like the Britster is quite the nicotine addict.

Here's the part that gets me: the photos were taken at her house. Why? Presumably a photog with a mega-ultra-zoom lens – a "Pavarotti", as El Federline famously referred to them on his ill-fated rap album – was suspended from a helicopter or something and took the shot through her window or on her balcony.

She's a celebrity, and over 18 (although emotionally she might be, like, 12, but let's not go there). But her kids aren't. Not to sound like a celebrity defending dipstick ("LEAVE...BRITNEY...ALONE!"), but maybe there should be a law that prevents the kids from being photographed, at least when they're at home. As someone points out over at MomLogic, they didn't ask to be in this bizarre situation.

There are celebrities whose children you almost never see candid pictures of – Madonna, Howard Stern, Christie Brinkley, and I'm sure there are dozens more that I can't think of at the moment. Of course, those people aren't the unbelievable mess that Brit appears to be. At best, this photo shows poor judgment on her part, not only the smoking but also hanging out with her kid in front of an open window where a sleazoid photographer can get a clear shot. Um, curtains? A really high hedge? Move someplace else?

Of course, if nobody wanted to see the pictures, they wouldn't be worth anything, and photographers wouldn't take them. But that's a different topic.

Here are the rest of the photos. Hey, at least she looks pretty good in her bikini.

images: popsugar.com

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Whit Honea — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 21:16:00 GMT

Best of FameCrawler: Note to Britney: DON'T. Just Don't.

Karen Murphy — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:27:00 GMT

Posted by Karen

Getting married? To this guy? WHY??!

Britney Spears is not heeding lawyer's advice to get a pre-nup as sources claim she wants to marry cling on Sam Lufti (didn't they elope?).

Her lawyers "begged her to at least get a prenup, but she didn't seem to be listening" a source told Star Magazine.

Federline, who did sign a pre-nuptial before marrying Britney, is not happy. Federline is not comfortable having Sam near his kids, due to a bad temper that Federline has seen first hand.

"Kevin has seen Sam lose his temper," says a source. "We hear he swears a lot and makes very derogatory statements when he's alone with Brit."

Sam once dangerously slammed his car into another vehicle to prevent Britney from being served.

"Kevin has forbidden Britney from having Sam around the boys. In fact, Kevin has threatened to get a restraining order. She'll lose custody if she allows Sam around them, Kevin will make sure of it," the source adds.

Britney seems unfazed that this recent development may cost her Sean Preston and Jayden James for good.

"Britney is completely under Sam's spell. Everyone sees through him, except her. I hear that he stays with her most of the time, and she pays for his food, his bar and restaurant tabs and his clothing. She takes car of everything," the source told Star.

If this is true, I'm not surprised she doesn't care about losing the boys. She has yet to prove she wants them in the first place. This whole senario reminds me very much of Anna Nicole Smith -- not that Anna didn't care for her kids but she sure was controlled by men. Weird.

Also on FameCrawler today:

Sherri Shepherd of The View has issues with education. (But we already told you that.)
Nicole Kidman = Ooh! Shiny!
Scary Spice strips in Vancouver

Best of Famecrawler: Lalalala Britney Screws Up Again (Yawn)

Karen Murphy — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 20:27:00 GMT

Posted by HerBadMother

Yeah, yeah. Actually this is breaking news, people! Britney! Screws! Up! Read how she did it right here!

Oh, damn y'all! I just cain't do it! All y'all are makin' me sick! Or some such was the excuse when Britney just didn't show up at court today to give the deposition required of her in her long-running custody battle with ex-husband kevin Federline. Which, you know, you just don't do.

The story is still unfolding, but K-Fed's lawyer has said that it seems that she has some sort of illness or medical condition that has prevented her, last-minute, from attending.

Britney was expected to be questioned on such issues as her past drug and alcohol use, her struggles to abide by Court Commissioner Scott M. Gordon's orders, her habit of rolling over the feet of bystanders and her fitness or unfitness as a mother to sons Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1.

Someone's in deep shit, y'all.

Source; Source

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Maybe this is what Brit was doing instead of her deposition? I dunno. Go see.
Something something Will Smith something Tom Cruise something.

Best of Famecrawler: Finally, the Real Tom Cruise!

Karen Murphy — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 18:17:00 GMT

Posted by HerBadMother

That picture that Tom Cruise doesn't want you to see? The story is that the diminutive Scientologist and the producers of the Ben Stiller movie (Tropic Thunder) in which he appears just don't want the 'surprise' cameo ruined for fans. Which, whatever. If there's really anybody out there who would get a big thrill out of seeing a fat, balding Tom appear unexpectedly in a Ben Stiller movie, I doubt that they're going to be put off by a little spoiler or two. You'd have to be a die-hard Tomophile to get off on the combination of Tom, prosthetics and Ben Stiller. Really.

My guess? The producers of the Ben Stiller movie orchestrated the dissemination of those photos to drum up press for the movie - because, really, how many Ben Stiller movies have done boffo box office recently? (how many Tom Cruise movies have done boffo box office recently?) - and Tom's just choked because a) his 'serious' movie is a flop and he's still stinging from that, b) he looks like a right idiot, and c) put those two things together and you have the perfect recipe for a Scientologist hissy fit.

Get a good look at the picture and get your giggles in while you can; the deputies of Xenu will make us take it down soon.

Photo source: Just Jared

Also crawling with fame today:

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Best of FameCrawler: Britney Drools and Looks Scary

Karen Murphy — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 20:01:00 GMT

Posted by Karen Rani

What an idiot. Yesterday K-Fart's lawyer Mark Kaplan called an emergency hearing and it was decided that Brit-Twit will not see her children until further notice, for failing to comply with judge's orders. We're not sure at this time which of the orders she messed up, but we'll bring you details once we know.

The next hearing is October 26th.

Strollerderby : Britney

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