Strollerderby : Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck Suffers Same Fate As Dads of Daughters Everywhere

JeanneSager — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:07:00 GMT

Jennifer Garner says she can always tell when husband Ben Affleck was left to his own devices with daughter Violet's hair. It comes out looking like a rat's nest.

Hey dads, sound familiar?

“You can always tell when he has been at it, just two random barrettes hanging in there. It’s so sweet," Garner told InStyle.

She could have been talking about my husband. He was over the moon when I gave birth to a little girl (which - despite us not finding out prior to delivery - he just "knew" was going to happen), but when she started sprouting enough hair to require clippies and ponytail holders, he was lost.

"It doesn't ever do what I want it to do," he tells me. "I just don't have the patience for it." This coming from a guy who once had hair past his shoulders. But his was super fine, super straight hair, hair that never needed to be brushed out with no more tangles spray after a night of rolling around on a crib mattress, hair that never needed to be secured in two little braids hanging down his back.

Some guys get hair and are perfectly adept at handling their daughter's locks. More are like my husband - facing a major learning curve after years of just not caring what their head looks like (because after years of long hair, his is now shaved in a Marine-like buzz - he does nothing more than shampoo daily). In our house it's particularly funny because it's the bald mother who has been showing Dad the ropes, teaching him about where on the head to place a ponytail (Not too high, this isn't the eighties. Not too low - she isn't an aging hippie) and how to brush out tangles without yanking on the scalp.

I'll give credit where credit is due. He tries. If he's the parent getting her ready for the day, her hair is at least brushed, albeit with a clip stuck at a random angle - kind of like Violet Affleck's.

Dads, did you jump over the curve after your daughters were born or do you turn out girls who sport the ragamuffin look in the morning?

Image: TheInsider

Best of FameCrawler: Week of January 16th

Whit Honea — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Mr. Roarke Dead; Gen-Xer In Mourning

Golden Globe 2009 - List of Winners

Britney in Sex and the City Sequel?

Kate Hudson is a Hussy

Update! Jen & Ben Reveal Daughter's Name!!

Are Ashanti and Nelly Expecting a Baby Together?

Take a Number: Lance Armstrong Will Fall in Love With You Next

Heath Ledger Wins Golden Globe

Guess Who's Getting Married In April?

Oprah French Kisses Kate Winslet's Breasts!

You Just Got Bacon'd!

WTF, Brad And Angie? Srsly.

Best of FameCrawler: Week of January 2nd

Whit Honea — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Kate Winslet Looks Good Naked

Tripp Johnston Speaks Out: Take My Family, Please.

Is Jennifer Garner in Labor?

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony: It's Over

Josh & Anna Duggar: Premarital Sex

Charles Barkley - DUI, Gun and Oral Sex: Still Not a Role Model?

Public Sex and New Year's Orgasms with Jordan and Peter

Snow, Fur And Sarah Palin In A Bikini

Ani DiFranco Has a Trick Baby

Mariah Carey Eats Oysters, Therefore is Not Pregnant

When Baby Daddies Attack

Heath Ledger is Haunting Michelle for Closure

Hollywood’s Cutest Kids? Life & Style Pick Their Winners

SunnyChanel — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:05:00 GMT

Hollywood’s Cutest Kids? Life & Style Pick Their Winners

Do you live in Hollywood? Well if you do, I’m sorry if your kid wasn’t picked as one of Hollywood’s Cutest Kids. US Weekly wannabe, Life & Style Weekly Magazine, is a fickle mistress. If the spawn didn’t come from superstars (and generally a set of them), well it looks like they aren’t deemed “cute” enough to win this popularity contest. Who needs to wait until high school to be pigeon holed and have their personality branded? let’s do it before they even start preschool. So, who won for each “category”? Click thru to find out:

The Fashionista: Our one and only Suri Cruise of course! (who got her own two page spread and also is the fodder of my Suri Watch in Droolicious) (Parents: Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise)

The Globe Trotters: Shiloh and Zahara Pitt (Parents: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie)

The Drama Queen: Coco Arquette (Parents; Courteney Cox and David Arquette)

The Clotheshorse: Apple Martin (Parents: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin)

The Little Artist: Matilda Ledger (Parents: Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger)

The Accesssorizer: Valentina Pinault (Parents: Salma Hayek and Francois-henri Pinault

The Happy Camper: Violet Affleck (Parents: Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck)

The Future Rocker: Kingston Rossdale (Parents: Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)

The Best Bros: Jayden and Sean Federline (Parents: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline)

The Hippie Kid: Ryder Robinson (Parents: Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson)

The Daredevil: Maddox Jolie-Pitt (Parents: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie)

The Mama’s Boy: Milo Langdon: (Parents Live Tyler and Royston Langdon)

The Little Leaguer: Deacon Philippe (Parents: Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe)

The Scene Stealer: Cruz Beckman (Parents: Victoria and David Beckman)

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

Brett Singer — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Let's get one thing out of the way right now – you shouldn't bring your children. They might want to go, but unless they have a very high tolerance for a long movie (2 and half hours) and an abnormally high tolerance for what might be the most frightening performance ever (Heath Ledger's Joker), I'd get a sitter.

Now: this is some incredible movie. At first, I was a little bit apprehensive. Part of that feeling was the hype, which was so intense that it seemed impossible anything could live up to it. (Part of it was also that the movie didn't start until almost 1am because we had to sit through 7 commercials, none of which I remember at all – money well spent, advertisers. But I digress.) There are some slow spots, especially in the beginning, and I think the director, Christopher Nolan, could have cut 10 or 15 minutes of film and made it a tighter movie. But that's nitpicking, because there are several scenes, some just quick moments and some long, exciting action sequences, that will put your jaw on the floor.

The saddest thing about Heath Ledger's death is that his daughter will never know her father. But it's fair to say that if an actor had to go out with one performance, this is that performance. He's so good that I completely forgot I was watching an actor, which, for me, almost never happens. (It's worth pointing out that Gary Oldman as James Gordon, and Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox, do the same thing in smaller and less flashy roles.) He's frightening, but not the way a horror movie villain is frightening. It's not shock value, although there is some of that (there's a bit with a pencil that might be the best 5-second description of a character in the history of cinema.) Without giving anything away, The Joker is referred to as a "terrorist" a couple of times, but unlike the terrorists in our world, this one has no cause that he fights for. He's just… mad. Not angry-mad, just flat out crazy. And Ledger captures that in every possible way. You could teach an acting class using this movie – what he does physically, vocally, emotionally; it's all stunning to watch.

The rest of it is, for the most part, equally good. I don't care about the love story, but it's fine I suppose and does serve the story. Aaron Eckhart is a solid actor and he does a good job as Gotham City District Attorney Harvey Dent. Christian Bale is by far the best Batman yet, although Ledger is so good that he really takes over the movie. Michael Caine is a good Alfred Pennyworth, Maggie Gyllenhaal is fine as token love interest Rachel Dawes; she's more than that, I guess, but it's not her movie. Gary Oldman is amazing; as in "Batman Begins," he somehow manages to completely capture the essence of a fictional comic book character that isn't a superhero, meaning that, as an actor, he has fewer details available to work with. I can't explain it but he IS Jim Gordon.

The nits to pick if you want to go there: some of the dialog is hokey (although the lines written for Ledger are brilliant.) There are a few slow spots. At times the action sequences are a tad frenetic, here and there. But it really doesn't matter. You'll read a lot about the surprising depth of this movie, and this is true to an extent. "The Dark Knight" is incredibly entertaining and does have some thoughtful moments amid the comic-book chaos, but there's no need to over think them. I would say just relax and enjoy it, but it's not a relaxing experience. Ledger's Joker is uncomfortable to watch, but in a good way. I don't want to give anything away, so you'll have to see it for yourself (but, as I said, get your tickets early; even the 12:30am showing was completely sold out.)

Now, despite the fact that there isn't much in the way of blood, this is not a film that you should take your children to see. Obviously, you know your offspring better than I, so if you think they can handle it, that's your call. And of course older kids will be fine. I hesitate to suggest an age-range, but I recommend seeing it yourself first if you're not sure. Worst-case scenario – you get to see it twice. Believe me, that's not a bad thing.

image: Reuters

Batman: get your tickets now

Set Your Alarm for a Romp Through LEGO Batman: The Video Game

Maggie Gyllenhaal on Letterman- He Wishes

Spying on the Neighbors: 7-17-08

Sexy Superhero Parents: The Top 10

Little Matilda Had Heath's Heart

Batman: get your tickets now

Brett Singer — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:42:00 GMT

So, being a guy who sees superhero movies, I wanted to see the new Batman movie. Today.

A friend wanted to come with me, so I couldn't pull my usual "go during the day when it's not busy" thing. So OK, let's see when its playing… What? Sold out? You gotta be kidding me.

Well, I'm not. If you're planning on seeing The Dark Knight this weekend, you'd better get your tickets in advance. This is unbelievably annoying. I tried at 2pm to get tickets to a 10:30pm showing, and it was already sold out. The reviews so far are over the top in their praise. Over at Rotten Tomatoes, a site that aggregates reviews from various sources, the rating is a whopping 94% positive (the only film with a higher rating is Wall-E.). If you go to the "top critics" section (print outlets and sites like salon.com), only a couple of the reviews are negative, which is extremely unusual for a comic book flick.

A lot of the interest in this film is because of Heath Ledger's death, but I've never seen anything like this. A movie that you can't get tickets to unless you go at midnight, which is what I'm doing? Come on. (And yes, I know I'm nuts.)

I'll let you know what I think of the film, and whether or not it's appropriate for children, later tonight. But for now, if you plan on going, order those tickets early, Bat-fans. Otherwise, you ain't getting in.

See you tonight -- different Bat-time, same Bat-channel...

image: Rotten Tomatoes

Set Your Alarm for a Romp Through LEGO Batman: The Video Game

Maggie Gyllenhaal on Letterman- He Wishes

Spying on the Neighbors: 7-17-08

Sexy Superhero Parents: The Top 10

Little Matilda Had Heath's Heart

Best of FameCrawler: Week of July 18th

Whit Honea — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Angelina Jolie Twins Photos: SOLD!!!

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman Wreck One Home Too Many

Exclusive Sketch Of Angelina's Twins!

Pictures Of Nicole Kidman's Sunday Rose-Two Stories

Drea De Matteo Sobbed When She Found Out She Was Pregnant

Jennifer Aniston's Obsession With Baby

Jessica Alba Already Wants Another Baby

Jessica Alba's Honor Marie - Photo!!!

Name Change: The Jolie-Pitt Twins

Miley Cyrus Leaked Shower Pics: Blame Lindsay!

DVD Review: Our Country, USA to Z

Brett Singer — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMT

With July 4th coming up in a couple of days, many of us are feeling patriotic. But in our current political climate, patriotism can be a highly charged topic. Personally, I think you should be able to love your country without buying into the ideology of a particular person or political party. More "celebrate what's great about America" and less "keep the immigrants out."

"Our Country, USA to Z" (Team Baby Entertainment) is more the former than the latter. Narrated by Whoopi Goldberg in her usual slightly sleepy-voiced style, this is (mostly) politics-free patriotism.

The disc opens with a relatively painless song (performed by John Lennon Songwriting Award winner Joe McDermot) about our nation and how good it is, with shots of cute babies dancing around. Football, kids, cities, Native Americans, Statue of Liberty – pretty straightforward stuff, pleasantly presented.

Then come the letters. (The chapters on the DVD, available in the main menu, are helpfully split up by letter so you can skip around if you need to.) A is for America (duh), B is for Bell, as in "Liberty Bell," C is for Columbus (with no mention of Native Americans), D is for Diveristy, and so on. My favorite segment was J, which is of course for Jazz. Whoopi should do a whole DVD for kids on the history of jazz. M is for Military was a little weird, but kids will like the trucks and Coast Guard boats. There is a slightly right-of-center leaning revealed (I think) in the choice of "great presidents" (the letter P, of course): George Washington, Abraham Lincoln (a "civil war hero", no mention of freeing the slaves), Teddy Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan. It's not a huge deal, but I'm guessing that the Democratic version of this disc might not mention ol' RR in this grouping.

There is a teeny amount of suspense when you watch "USA to Z" for the first time – what the heck are they going to do for X, for example? Since K was for King (as in Martin Luther King), I thought maybe we'd get Malcolm X, but they went with Railroad Crossing, which is a little lame, but at least features subways as well as railroads. Then there's "Road Trip," another original tune with a nice montage of video from the 50 states. These include cities as well as purple mountains majesty and amber waves of grain, something that, as a lifelong city dweller, I always appreciate. As always, there are cute kids of various colors and creeds bouncing around.

"Our Country, USA to Z" is a little different from the DVDs that Team Baby Entertainment typically puts out. Most of their content (which I've never seen) seems to be geared towards indoctrinating young children in the ways of sports fandom – Mets Baby, St. Louis Cardinals Baby, Red Sox Baby World Series Edition narrated by Ben Affleck (ouch, that was hard to type – guess who my favorite team is?), and of course, Yankees Baby, which I've never seen but is of course the best of the bunch (that would be my team.)

For the most part, this relatively short DVD is cute, harmless patriotism that does a decent job of including the different types of people and places that make up the United States of America. There is no mention of more controversial topics – Native Americans, slavery – but it is geared towards very young children; 2 or 3-year-olds is about right in my view. "Our Country, USA to Z" is educational, colorful, and doesn't go too far to the right. And when it does skew a little bit more Red State than Blue, that's tempered by the presence of the Whoopster's narration. Whoever hired her deserves a big, fat all-American raise.

image: Team Baby Entertainment

Iraq War Takes Its Toll on Officers’ Marriages

Brad and Angie, What Will They Do With The Money?

Political Nanny: Obama Gives MoveOn a Stern Talking To

Son Gives Jolie a Gun

Afghanistan War Veteran Assaults Infant Sons

Jolie-Pitts Give $1M to Iraqi Children

Parody of Mother's Plea to John McCain

Best of FameCrawler: Week of June 27th

Whit Honea — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Billie Piper's Topless Role

The Sexualization of Miley Cyrus

Ben And Jen Together For Better Or Worse

Worst-Dressed Bellies? Top 5 Maternity Wear Mistakes Of Spring/Summer 2008

Tim McGraw and the Wife Beaters

Scott Kalitta Killed In Drag Racing Crash

Robert Downey, Jr., and Son: What's Wrong with This Picture?

Matthew McConaughey Is Ready To Rumble

Guess Who's Moving Across The Pond?

Jamie Lynn's Delivery Room Drama!

Tori Spelling Baby Photos!!

Best of FameCrawler: Week of Feb. 29th (Leap Year Edition)

Whit Honea — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Best of Famecrawler: Pretty Pretty Dirigibles

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 14:28:00 GMT

Posted by HerBadMother

Poor Peter Andre. I'm guessing that he didn't marry a skanky, dirigible-boobed glamour model so that he could limit his sexual activity to once or twice a month.

First, Jordan - the skanky, dirigible-boobed glamour model in question - announces that she's getting a breast reduction. From quadruple D's to double D's, but still. A reduction is a reduction. If you buy the Goodyear blimp, you don't want it downsizing itself to a mere hot-air balloon. Then she announces to the world that dear hubbie isn't getting any unless it's her, um, fertile time, and that if he manages to sperminate her, he won't get any for the duration of the pregnancy. Burn!

Next thing you know, she'll swear off sex all together and start wearing turtlenecks. Someone should call in Pam Anderson - she could tell Jordan that a girl doesn't have to stop being skanky just because she becomes a mom. I'll bet Peter Andre would pay good money for that.

There are a lot of Violets rolling at Famecrawler these days:

Best of Famecrawler: And the Normal Parents Award Goes to...

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 20:58:00 GMT

Posted by Whit

Ben and Violet Affleck took in some park action. You may notice that Violet isn't wearing her normal Crocs, but a pair of boots to go with the overall warmer outfit. Even Dad is wearing a hoodie. Fall is in the air. The highs in L.A. today were in the 70's. It's like we skipped fall and went straight to winter. Don't you think she needs a scarf, Ben?

Photos: Celebs and Bubs

TAKE THE QUIZ....
To see which celebrity parenting style is most similar to yours, go here.

Which Celeb Parenting Style Matches Yours?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 23:32:00 GMT

Whatever you think of celebrity parents these days, there are many who seem quite lovely (Jennifer Garner and Angelina Jolie, for example). Of course, Britney makes us collectively cringe, but what about Kate Moss?

Pick which style most matches yours here...

Fame is Good. Britney Loses Kids. Angelina Gets More.

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 19:46:00 GMT

Britney Spears is a "troubled" mother it seems. Cousin Alli might play a crucial role in her kids being taken away from her.
Angelina Jolie may not eat much, but you can't fault her for saving the world's children one adoption at a time
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck seem like such good normal parents. It's hard to believe they're celebrities

Ben Affleck Doesn't Want to Embarass Daughter. Oops, Too Late!

Alisyn — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 21:10:00 GMT

“I’ve never been very judicious about my own behavior or choices, until they had an impact on someone other than me,” says actor Ben Affleck, dad to 1-year-old Violet. “… my daughter, who has my last name. I don’t want her to mutter it over a drink. I want her to be proud of her old man.”

Lucky for Ben, there’s so much quality film footage that he could show his daughter each time she pulls one of those teenage laments about how her parents are such douchebags.

“I understand how you feel, honey,” he could say. “Why, I used to be embarrassed that my Mom was a school teacher. What a peon! Wanna watch my 'Jenny from The Block' video again?”

Isn’t it funny how every new parent aspires to avoid the unforgivable sins their own parents committed: the sins of being not being “cool,” not “understanding,” not “getting it”? But we all know it’s unavoidable. I mean, just the fact that most of us are at least 25 years older than our kids means that we’re not going to “get it.” And why would we want to? When was the last time you identified with someone 25 years younger than you? All the 5-year-olds I know are jerks.

As the parent of a 4-year-old and a 19-month-old, I’m not quite there yet. I still kinda think I can pull it off, this “cool” parent thing. Why not? I’ve got tattoos! I've had piercings! When my older daughter Hazel’s 15, I'll be able to say, 'Honey, go ahead and get that eyelid piercing you've been talking about. I totally understand and support the idea of you putting permanent holes in your face. You go, girl!' When my younger girl Violet wants to go to the movies alone with her seventh grade boyfriend (or girlfriend – I’m cool with that!), I’ll pretend to think it over, before nudging her in the ribs with my elbow and saying 'You and I both know that ‘going to the movies’ is code for ‘dry humping,’ dude. Just make sure you buy tickets to that new Ben Affleck movie, so you know you aren’t missing much!'

I like to think that I’ll be able to relate to my girls when they’re older – or at least not completely mortify them. I guess Mr. Affleck and I have that in common (boy, there’s something I never thought I’d say). Hey, we also have a daughter named Violet in common! And we both totally regret rubbing suntan lotion all over Jennifer Lopez’s ass in that goddamn video. Oh wait, I guess that’s just him.