Strollerderby : Amazon

Heather Has Two Mommies = "Adult Content"?

Miriam Axel-Lute — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:30:00 GMT

"Protecting" children (and adults with paper-thin sensibilities) by hiding/filtering/censoring content deemed "adult" has a long history of not working very well. My mother was a children's librarian for a long time in a town in Essex County, NJ, and remembers when the filtering software blocked searches of kids trying to research their county government.

But it takes an ambitious effort to fail quite as spectacularly has Amazon has in its attempts to remove the sales ranking from books deemed "adult." (via Jezebel). (Sales ranking determines placement in searches and inclusion in the recommendation alogrithms, which is why it matters.)

If this just covered hardcore porn DVDs, there would likely have been not much outrage. But the curious decision-making process determining what is labeled adult appears to be (1) wildly broad, yet inconsistent and (2) extremely anti-gay. Petitions have been started and customer service lines flooded. The charge of it being a "glitch" has been dismissed outright.

Parents, in particular, may be surprised and troubled to learn that while heterosexual porn (books of Playboy pinups, for example) and sex toys have not been affected, the classic children's book Heather Has Two Mommies, a history of gay rights written for teens, and a book about anti-gay bullying in high school were disappeared (at least for a while — as of this writing, Heather's sales rank has been returned. It seems the ranks are coming and going with some frequency).

But never fear, The Parents Guide to Preventing Homosexuality has so far stayed ranked and available.

What do think? Is this a well-meaning algorithm gone wrong, an underlying problem about tagging everything GLBT with "sexuality," or flat-out prudish homophobia? Have you been afraid of what your children might find on Amazon? And now, how about what they might not find?

More by this author:

No Christmas Specials for Some Jewish Kids

Brett Singer — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Dahlia Lithwick has a piece over at Slate that discusses which Christmas specials are OK for Jewish kids to watch. Not according to the Torah, which was written pre-TV, but based on her discussions with a few families.

She found that her generation's Jewish kids were allowed to watch "one or all" of the following: How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and The Year Without Santa Claus. Two of these are among my personal favorites, but I would include Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer in that list. Apparently that one didn't make the cut for the Jewish now-grown-up kids that Lithwick spoke to.

The reason surprised me – a "no Santa" rule. No Jesus, I get. Jesus is religion. Nothing wrong with religion, but if it isn't YOUR religion and you choose not to watch shows that feature religious elements, that's your choice. But Santa? Was he in the Bible? Frosty was also banned from some Jewish households, according to Lithwick, because of a "no resurrections rule", which I think is pushing it.

Here's the thing – I like Christmas specials. I even like Christmas music. And I'm Jewish. Obviously Christmas is a religious holiday for millions of people. But last time I checked, Rudolph wasn't one of the apostles. So I hereby give permission to all Jewish parents — let the kids watch Rudolph! Why deprive them of the joys of Rankin and Bass? The Island of Misfit Toys? Yukon Cornelius? Hermey the Elf who would rather be a dentist? This a great show! And The Year Without a Santa Claus? Heat and Cold Miser! This is good stuff, people!

Interestingly, A Charlie Brown Christmas does feature religion prominently. Somehow that made the cut in many Jewish households, according to Lithwick. Why? In my opinion, there are a few reasons. First, Linus says it. That makes it automatically more OK than if the same words come out of some claymation dog (Davey and Goliath, anyone?). Second, it's done in the context of "good will towards men", which is hard to argue with. Third, it isn't presented in a way that says, "If you don't believe these words, you will burn in Hell for all eternity." It's actually quite lump-in-the-throat inducing, in a good way. Last, after Linus says his piece, everyone finally starts being nice to Charlie Brown, decorating his tree, and making nice warm and fuzzy holiday feelings. That's my theory, anyway.

Anyway, whatever your faith may be, or even if you happen to faithless, don't ban Christmas specials just because they happen to be about Christmas. Give 'em a chance. Maybe the kids will like it. You might enjoy it as well.

Oh, Merry Christmas. And Happy Chanukah.

Source: Slate

Review: Unstable Fables Goldilocks and the Three Bears Show

Kids Say The Cutest Things: Tuesday

Gifts I Want That I Can Pretend Are For The Kids

Most Tasteless Tree Ornament Ever

Are Email Holiday Cards Tacky?

Gifts I Want That I Can Pretend Are For The Kids

Brett Singer — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:00:00 GMT

One of the things I like about being a parent is the fact that it allows me to regress with impunity. For example, a childless man who plays with Legos? Creepy. A father who plays with Legos? Aw, that's so sweet. He's such a good dad. With that in mind, here are a few gifts that I want this holiday season that I can pretend are really for the children. If they're lucky, I might even let the kids play with them.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed – when we got a Wii, one of the first things I thought of was, "I want a game that lets me use the WiiMote like a sword." When I heard about a new Star Wars game that would allow you to use the WiiMore like a LIGHTSABER, I realized that this was potentially a dream come true. A dream I didn't even know I had. Namely, that I could use the WiiMote like a lightsaber. Hello? How many times did I imagine that I was Luke Skywalker, battling Darth Vader, denying he was my father as I swung my lightsaber in defiance? (Yes, Han Solo was cooler but Luke was a Jedi and was a more attainable goal – you weren't going to be as cool as Han, but you could definitely be like Luke. OK, I was a kid with self-esteem issues.) The idea that I can do this as an adult and get away with it because I have a son is almost too cool to imagine. Reviews of the game on Amazon are mixed, ranging from "pretty good" to "Worst. Game. Ever." There are a few "all my childhood dreams realized" comments on there. Until I actually play the game, I'll stick with those.

To make the nerdy experience truly complete, there is the Thrustmaster Glow Saber Duo Pack, which sounds like the name of a sex toy from a Woody Allen movie but is actually a Wii accessory where you insert the WiiMote into a glowing piece of plastic and wave it around like a lightsaber.

Peanuts Holiday Collection (It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown / A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving / A Charlie Brown Christmas): This one isn't as embarrassing as the other two. The various Peanuts holiday specials have, in my opinion, stood the test of time better than any others. The animation is pleasantly low-key, the voice acting isn't obnoxiously loud and the kids actually sound like kids, and there are no stupid adults around. It's sentimental without being saccharine, funny without resorting to lowbrow comedy (nothing wrong with that but it's nice to see something different everyone now and then), and its great when you can enjoy something from your childhood with your kids without being forced to explain to them why you like it.

Marvel Transformers: It's unclear how I managed to not hear about these amazing new toys. It could be because I'm an adult. But I don't like that explanation. How can something as unbelievably cool as an Iron Man Transformer action figure not have been on my geeky radar? I might have to turn in my Platinum Nerd Card. In all seriousness – well, not ALL seriousness, this isn't a very serious topic – these look cool, appear to be in stock at Amazon, and would provide hours of fun for me, I mean MY CHILDREN. So come on. Fill my stocking with superheroes!

They Say – Lots of Toys Are Sold Out – Or Are They?

When Holiday Toys Attack

They Say – Raise Kids Who Care

When Wrap Rage Attacks

SunnyChanel — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:30:00 GMT

I hate kid’s Christmas presents. And I have the scars to prove it. Each year parents like me get cut, poked and mercilessly maimed by the sharp edges, slivered plastic and spiky wire twist ties that encase toys for our kids. Case in point, someone recently gave my daughter the My Little Pony Ponyville Sweet Sundae Amusement Park (yeah, it was a gift…what can you do), I spent more time attempting to unleash this beast from the packaging than my child spent playing with it. When you have to spend that much time, employ tools like scissors and pliers and actually shed not only sweat but blood in attempting to open the plethora of packaging, you know something is very very wrong.

One company heard the cries of the package openers across this great land and has launched an initiative that is "designed to alleviate "wrap rage", a very noble cause indeed. Amazon.com is stocking a selection of gifts that they deliver which are free of the hard plastic, plastic bindings and wire ties and are instead simply packaged in a recyclable box. They call it The Amazon Frustration Free™ Packaging. They even have a website called the Gallery of Wrap Rage where people post their pictures and videos of cuts, scraps and crying babies, all victims of excess packaging.

Let’s hope this trend continues. I’d really like to see clam shells only on the dinner table and never again under the tree.

Related Posts:

Packaging SOS: How to Open those Blister Packages

Are these toys sold out?

Brett Singer — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

According to Gareb Shamus of Toy Wishes Magazine, these toys are what all the kids want. But, says Shamus, you can't get them, because they're sold out. I'm not sure that he's correct about that. We checked on seven toys here, now let's try eight more.

8. Clone Wars Voice Changing Helmet: Again, Amazon's got it, not even from a third-party shipper. But it's not Darth Vader. So what's the point? According to the product description, "Kids want to be clone troopers." (That's actually listed as a product feature. Odd.) I hope that this statement is not true. If it is, that is sad. Wanting to be Han Solo, I get. Wanting to be a Clone Trooper? Say it ain't so, Bo(ba).

9. Wall-E - U-Command, i-Dance and Transforming: i-Dance they have. Same with U-Command. (Couldn't find Transforming for some reason.) However, both are from third-party folks, and U-Command is over $150.00. That seems like a bad idea unless one of the commands is "rob a bank."

10. Club Penguin Plush and trading cards: Bingo! Club Penguin Plush, not in stock as of this writing. Available from a random person. Looks kind of ugly to me but what do I know. Trading cards they have from third party folks.

11. Webkinz – Plush: It might be tough to find the specific one your kid wants (Webkinz Platypus, anyone? I just made that up) but these are out there.

12. Imaginext – Superfriends: Amazon has it! At least, they have some of them, like this Batmobile. If these are from the same series of toys that my younger son has, I highly recommend them. It's like Batman-lite – more BatMite than Dark Knight. (If you get that reference, you earn points towards your Geek Gold Card.) Fun for kids and also dads. At least this dad.

13. Nerf - all the Nerf Blasters: Well, not ALL, since Amazon has this ominously named Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 Dart Blaster. Weapon of kiddie mass destruction, anyone? Also not for the under 3 set.

14. Eyeclops night vision goggles: These look kinda cool, and are in stock. My problem with toys like these is that in my experience kids get bored with them pretty quickly. But perhaps your children are different.

15. Girl Gourmet cupcake maker: I'm not a fan of children making "real" food with dopey fake playsets like these. Why is that? Because I can't imagine that the ingredients of the "special cupcake mixes" are substances that occur in nature. This comment from Amazon, titled "What's that smell??" is telling and quite helpful: "At the end of the day, it was fun for them, stinky for all of us and too darn messy. You are better off with supervised baking then this junky mix." The commenter goes on to say that the product is a good idea but the "flavoring needs tweaking." I beg to differ, but hey, to each his or her own. I'm not against my children eating crap, but they should eat good old American pre-packaged crap that doesn't require further preparation.

So no offense to Mr. Shamus, but this stuff doesn't appear to be as sold out as he said. I'm thinking bad economy = easier to find popular toys. To be fair, many of the items were unavailable except through third-party sellers. But it seems like, with a little digging, you can get most of what your kids want. Not that the holidays are all about toys. But sometimes they are.

When Holiday Toys Attack

Half Price Toys at Target

Last Day For Free Holiday Shipping

Indiana Planned Parenthood Sells Gift Certificates

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Babble Podcast for December 15, 2008

They Say – Lots of Toys Are Sold Out – Or Are They?

Brett Singer — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

According to Gareb Shamus of Toy Wishes Magazine, these toys are what all the kids want. But, says Shamus, you can't get them, because they're sold out. I'm not sure that he's correct about that. Let's see what we can find in stock.

1.      Bakugan: My son actually got this as an early Chanukah present. Not bad but a little over-rated in my opinion. Basically you throw little balls into a plastic arena, and if the balls hit a particular magnetic card, they pop open. It's neat but only for the first hundred times. There are also rules that seem too complex for my taste, but I’m old and sometimes these games confuse me. Available at Amazon.
2.      Lego Star Wars and Lego Batman: Lego Star Wars is great. Lego Batman, feh. Don't bother. I'm talking about the video games, though, not the Legos themselves. In general I believe that any Legos are good Legos, so if you can't find Star Wars or Batman versions, just go with regular ones. If the kids complain, tell them they should be glad they're getting any presents at all in this economy. (OK, telling them that would be mean. But it's fun to think about, right?) Lots of options at Amazon, but it does appear that most are sold out.
3.      Star Wars Action Figures - All, particularly Clone Commander Cody and Ahsoka Tano: This reveals me to be a tremendous nerd, but I think I've outed myself as Dorky Dad a long time ago. Commander Cody action figures are sold out??? That just doesn't seem right. I mean, I remember when Boba Fett was hard to find. That I can understand. But Commander Cody? C'mon. Available at Amazon for a whopping $44.99. Crazy.
4.      Dora Magical Figures: I found these on Craig's List, although they're probably gone by now. (Note: I am not suggesting you buy something from Craig's List. Also not suggesting that you DON'T buy from Craig's List. That is what is known as a "covering my butt disclaimer". That's a legal term.)
5.      Ben 10 Alien Creation Chamber: Amazon has it from a third-party retailer. Sadly, it does not appear to create life-size "Island of Doctor Moreau" creatures.
6.      Hasbro - Marvel Transformers: I was unaware of the existence of these action figures, but now that I am, I must have them. I mean, my son must have them. Iron Man meets Transformers? Are you kidding me??? Amazon seems to have them in stock from third-party retailers. I… I mean, my SON, really wants these. All of them.
7.      Yo Gabba Gabba Dance Mat: Amazon's got it. It looks fun, but noisy. Also: "CHOKING HAZARD -- Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs." Which seems odd because that's an age I would think this product appeals to. But I guess not.

Hmmm... so far lots of stuff is in stock, although sometimes from third-party sellers. For eight more, check out part 2 here.

When Holiday Toys Attack

Half Price Toys at Target

Last Day For Free Holiday Shipping

Indiana Planned Parenthood Sells Gift Certificates

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Babble Podcast for December 15, 2008

They Say – Most Toys Are Toxic

Brett Singer — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 00:30:00 GMT

NYPIRG, which is an acronym for "New York Public Interest Research Group" and not an ancient Hebrew word meaning "bummer", tested a bunch of toys for toxic materials. And they found nothing wrong! Right?

WRONG.

A third of the 1,500 toys NYPIRG tested contained "'medium' to 'high' concentrations of toxic chemicals." Oh, but they didn't test any cool toys that you might actually want to buy. Right?

WRONG!

The Disney Fairies Fold Out Chair and Sleeping Pad had "dangerous levels of mercury and bromine," according to published reports.

Well I’m fine because I stick with more traditional wooden toys from brands like Melissa & Doug. Those are OK.

WRONG!

NYPIRG tested Melissa & Doug's Beginner Band Set, whose label declares that the toy wooden instruments "are handmade, non-toxic and exceed U.S. standards." Those Grinches at NYPIRG found "high levels of lead and arsenic." This toy, as well as the Disney Chair/Pad, were found on the shelves at a Toys R Us in Manhattan. Fun!

Now, I'm not trying to make light of this situation. But it really feels like the only way to fully avoid nasty substances to do is not buy anything. I mean, if you can't trust Melissa & Doug, who can you trust? (This may not be an issue, since, as Madeline put it, nobody's buying anything this year anyway.)

I should also state clearly that I am only reporting what NYPIRG found. I have no direct knowledge of the levels of toxins in any toy made by Disney, Melissa & Doug, Irving & Wendy, or any other manufacturer or individual, known or unknown, on planet Earth or planets yet to be discovered.

NYPIRG suggests that parents visit HealthyToys.org before they shop. Of course, that won't help if no one has tested the toy that you want to buy. But I suppose it's a start.

Still, I'll ask the parent gallery – when you shop for toys, do you think about whether or not they contain potentially harmful substances? For some reason I think most parents (and this is just off the top of my head, I haven't asked anyone other than me) are more inclined to avoid potentially nasty stuff in food or food receptacles, such as BPA-free baby bottles. Will BPA-free toys be next?

Source: Metro

Image: Amazon.com

Are You Cutting Back This Holiday Season?

Morning News: Congresswoman Slams Down the Phone on Obama ... Twice! (also some toy news)

Babble's Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide

Mini Baby Sculptures Not Edible, Selling Like Hotcakes

Make Your Own Religious Doll (maybe these are non-toxic)

Denis Leary Puts Autism Comments In Context

Autistic Girl Kicked Out Of Girl Scouts

Brain Wave Study Sheds Light On Autism

Family Portrait Winners!

editors — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 17:02:00 GMT

Here at Babble we know that you're all winners, but over at The Babble Playground we picked the tops from the most adorable family portraits - ever! Exhibit A: the JDallasRim Family as seen above. They are the lucky winners of a $500 gift card from Amazon. That's right, free holiday shopping courtesy of Babble. Don't worry, you haven't missed your opportunity for big prizes. We're kicking off another photo contest for December: Winter Wonderland. Join today and enter to win a Quinny Buzz stroller with a mad accessories package worth over $1,000!

Now, let's take a look at those runner-up families, also incredibly adorable:

They Say: Black Friday Will Be Gray

Brett Singer — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 19:00:00 GMT

So, like, will there be good deals this year or not? Inquiring minds want to know.

CNET talked to some experts in the field of bargain-hunting who offered a few tips for consumers. For example, Daniel de Grandpre of Dealnews suggests patronizing regional outlets such as MicroCenter and Fry's Electronics rather than Best Buy or Circuit City.

While there is definitely money to be saved by savvy shoppers who like to get up at 5am and hit the mall, it may also be possible to get the same deals by staying home and shopping online. Even brick and mortar stores are offering "web only specials". Kmart's "Early Black Friday" deals started on November 2, and CNET says that "some retailers are doing Black Friday month specials." Online-only outlets like Amazon.com have been pushing their Black Friday specials for several days now. So you might not even have to wait until Friday to get the stuff that you want.

One thing I've noticed is a certain desperate feeling among retailers. For example, I got this email from CompUSA a couple of days ago. Then I got it again. And again. They want to make damn sure I know what they've got on sale. Toys R Us has been sending at least one sale-trumpeting email per day for the past two weeks. And Amazon let users vote on which products they wanted discounted.

If polls are to be believed, retailer's feelings of potential doom may be justified: CNET cites a Consumer Electronics Association polls that says "consumers...plan to spend $200 less on the holidays" this year.

One bit of good news, I guess. If you do plan on shopping, whether on Black Friday or some other time, you'll probably get more for your money than you would if the economy were more robust. That's something I suppose.

Source: CNET

Babble's Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide

Will Black Friday Deals Be Good This Year?

Maybe The 80s Are Retro

Need Some Holiday Cash? Have a Family?

editors — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 22:35:00 GMT

Let’s all give thanks this week that we have that we have a chance to win $500 from the Babble Playground. So when you’re communing with your family, get out that instamatic and get some great pics before it’s too late! We’ll be picking the winner of the Photo Contest: Best Family Portrait on December 1st, so join the Playground, upload your pics and sit back and wait for the prize patrol to visit your house. Or rather, your email, which is much less intusive. - April Peveteaux

Find out how to win a gift card from Amazon today!

Will Libraries Go the Way of Video Stores?

Miriam Axel-Lute — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:15:00 GMT

Anyone who has both used Netflix and had an overdue library book knew it was only a matter of time until the same model was used for books. And in fact, there are a few companies out there who have been sailing in those waters, like Booksfree and Book Swim. Book Swim is now specifically promoting itself to pregnant women ("It costs a lot to buy all those pregnancy books only to discover that most of them are useless and mostly designed to scare the crap out of you." Ahem, my words, not theirs) and also parents of the voracious read-to-me set ("save money spent on buying lots of children's books that can be rented instead." Their words, not mine).

While it appeals on some level, I have quibbles with the execution: They have not yet gotten the one of the main keys to Netflix's success, which is having everything, not just the most popular stuff. I looked up several of my daughter's favorites on Book Swim, and they weren't there. Not only that, but her not-all-that-obscure beloved tales don't come anywhere near meeting the fine-print criteria for the cheery "just tell us what you want and we'll buy it for you!" option, which include "an Amazon sales rank of at least 20,000." That's pretty narrow folks. I think there must be 20,000 best-selling unofficial political biographies alone.

If you're going to charge $20 to 40/month for 3 to 11 books at a time (Book Swim. Don't get fooled by their low intro rate—it's one month only) or $10 to $50/month for 2 to 15 books at time (Booksfree), you need super-duper-special selection and service. Remember folks, you are competing against free. I suppose if I had to drive to the library, or had a work schedule that conflicted with its hours, the delivery aspect would be more of a draw and feel like less of an environmental faux pas, but from my home office it just looks like one more lost excuse to get out of the house for 15 minutes. (And it's worth noting that many libraries apparently will deliver too under some circumstances.)

I'm sure the right person with sufficient capital could iron out these issues, add a recommendation engine, and be really in business. (Unless the higher cost of shipping books compared to DVDs just makes it an idea whose time hasn't come after all. It's possible.)

But what really troubles me, of course, is the idea of abandoning the library. Libraries still serve as one of the rare public meeting spaces not devoted to commerce. They help kids with research and adults with job hunts and starting businesses and their own formal and informal educations. Libraries buy books based on both popularity and serving their public. They tend to fight the good fight to make sure controversial material is available. You know, good qualifty-of-life, bastion of democracy stuff.

We recently had a budget vote on a large plan to expand and upgrade the branch libraries up here in Albany, so I've seen the research about the social and economic benefits of a good library. But I've also heard from the kooks who say that with the Internet and big-box bookstores, we don't need libraries anymore, and I hate the idea of giving them more ammunition. I know book renters would still pay their library taxes, but usage rates and general familiarity are crucial to keep libraries' budgets away from the ax.

I think with the right savvy, libraries are up to the task of competing with even an improved book rental service. Already, through inter-library loans you can get almost anything, and with my countywide system's online reservation system, it's almost as easy as Netflix to request something. A little slow to get it, but that should be fixable. Make renewing easier, with a warning system when something's coming due, and you're most of the way there for me.

Besides, for picture books, the library already wins hands down: My daughter gets the tactile adventure of browsing the shelves and discovering hidden gems, and we get the excuse of "Oh, that has to go back to the library now!" when a not-quite-gem has worn out its welcome.

Photo by Sugar Pond.

More by this author:

Six Steps to a Parent-Friendly Wedding

They Say: Microwave Safe Ain't

Meet A Delightful Family of Three

editors — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:01:00 GMT

Awwww! Are you kidding us with this?

If you want to see some more cuteness to get you in the mood for the holiday season, head over to The Babble Playground and check out the November Photo Contest: Family Portrait. We’ve got artsy and adorable families filling up the slots and we want to see YOU. Yes, you! Upload that favorite family pic. But don’t just do it for us, do it for the $500 gift card from Amazon. The best family photo wins big and therefore, shops big. Enter today! - April Peveteaux

Show Us Your Clan! Win $$$.

editors — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 21:31:00 GMT

Image: Racing Through Life But Enjoying It

Oh how we miss the golden, big-collared days of Olan Mills Studios. Still, there are lots of ways to capture the beatific faces of your family unit. Show us how you do it in your household and enter The Babble Playground November Photo Contest: Family Portrait.

You know what you can win? Holiday shopping relief, that’s what. We’re giving away a $500 gift card to Amazon.com to make everyone’s dreams come true this gift-giving season.

Join The Playground, post your pictures, take a look around at your fellow members and enter to win big! Contest ends November 30th. - April Peveteaux

Baby Penis Album only five bucks

Brett Singer — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Thanks to Mike's brilliant post linking to the NPR interview with the kid who is nekkid on the cover of Nirvana's breakthrough CD, I will forever think of 'Nevermind' as The Baby Penis Album. (Kids, "albums" were these shiny black things with a hole in the middle… oh well, whatever, never mind.)

If Mike's post made you nostalgic for the nineties (that was a really tough sentence to write), you can do it fairly cheaply: Amazon has the MP3 version of Nevermind on sale for only five dollars. (I'd say something about Amazon being the man who sold the world, but that's a different album.)

I myself did not smell the teen spirit when Kurt Cobain's magnum opus took the world by storm in 1991, but at these prices, maybe I'll check it out. Who says I'm not hip?

image: Amazon.com

The Baby Penis Known Around the World

More stuff YUPPIE parents like

Return of the son of stuff YUPPIE parents like

How to be an annoying camp parent

Jobs you don't want – Camp Parent Liaison

Stuff White Parents Like

When playgrounds attack, the sequel

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

Amazon's Four Types of Baby

Gwynne Watkins — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 22:55:00 GMT

The Amazon baby store just sent us this press release, which I feel compelled to share with you all:

Sure, maybe some people think all babies look alike-but in reality, any mom would tell you that nothing is further from the truth. They all have different personalities and, of course, different styles! That's why the Amazon.com Baby Store carries a huge selection of baby gear, clothes and other cool accessories. So no matter if you have a hip, green, classic or a little one that just can't stay clean, this stork-friendly store has all the great brands and in-style gear to fit your baby to a tee!

So, to review:

1. All babies look alike.

2. The four types of babies are hip, green, classic, and impossible-to-keep-clean.

Got that?

Review: Roboraptor Robotic Dinosaur

Karen Murphy — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 15:13:00 GMT

Well, The Ex finally ponied up and bought the children their Christmas gifts. Never mind that Christmas was more than 3 weeks ago, but the lines at the discount stores finally went down and they can see what's left on the shelves now. Apparently, there's nothing left except toys that require batteries: today, my 11-year old son Nathaniel came home bearing his new WowWee Roboraptor: a Fusion of Technology and Personality.

Fun! Let's get it out of the box and turn it on. But first! Nathaniel had me cover my eyes while he prepared something mysterious on the floor. And when I uncovered them -- surprise! There was a....(what is that thing?) dinosaur? Plastic? At least 2 feet long? In black and white? Hmm, looks harmless enough [grrrrrphmwwwaaaack!]. Uh, no. It moves. It snaps its jaws. And undulates its tail most menacingly. And, it's moving toward me....HEY! Is that thing going to jump on me?????!

This thing is freaking scary.

The Roboraptor won all sorts of "best toy" awards in 2005 (The Ex is a year behind) and is billed as having an "advanced artificial intelligence personality, realistic biomorphic motions, direct control and autonomous (free-roam) modes." And it comes in three "moods": Hunter, Cautious, and Playful. Hmm. Sounds suspiciously like a...kid. Or a pet? I read several reviews of this thing on Amazon, where it is available, naturally, and was a little concerned by some of the comments there, but hey, at least it wasn't my $99! Some people complained about low mobility on carpeted surfaces, or that it just wasn't as "fun" as they had hoped (those people were looking for actual artificial intelligence, maybe someone to watch reruns of "Star Trek: The Very Very Very Last Incarnation" with?), but others raved about how much their kids liked the thing.

The manual did seem overly complicated and I don't think that Nathaniel has had time yet to read much of it, but he seemed pretty happy with it, so I'll give the thing my qualified approval, with the understanding that I'll okay you having one as long as you Never. Bring it to my House. Because seriously! That thing is scary! Did you see the tail?