Strollerderby

When Muppets Go Bad; Kermit Hurt Himself

2008-05-12T22:58:00Z

I saw Sad Kemit for the first time yesterday on DaddyTypes and thought it would be a great, funny parody of a great, not-so-funny NIN song. Alas, the lyrics won out and Sad Kermit ... well, was just plain sad. This muppet video is not suitable for the squeamish, or children -- unless of course those children are heroin addicts in need of an intervention video that really speaks to 4 year olds.

Mother and Kids Live With 90-Year-Old Corpse on Toilet

2008-05-12T22:00:00Z

Happy Post Mother's Day. Enough with the happy crap, let's get back to the weird, depraved and creepy.

A mother and her two children lived with the bloating corpse of a 90-year-old woman decaying on the toilet of their only bathroom for two months. It gets better. The mother left the corpse their because a religious “superior” told her it would come back to life...

Remember that story about the couple who let their diabetic daughter die because they prayed instead of seeking medical attention? Well, that was a pretty egregious case of neglect but I was willing to admit, the parents were at least doing what, in their very confused minds, was right. In this case, however, this is just straight up hyper-retarded.

The kids, 15 and 12 years of age, are now in foster care. When questioned by the police, the boy said he had plotted to run away from his mothers home. Smart kid, that one.

Of course, maybe the mom was just up for some madcap hyjinks, Weekend At Bernie's Style.

Photo: AP

Beyonce Baby Clothes: Joke, Right? Right?!

2008-05-12T21:01:00Z

I'm definitely not one to get all pissy over children's clothing -- I mean, whatever they want to wear is fine by me. Lipstick? Absolutely. Some colors really make a bib pop. And really, what kid doesn't like red heel boots to compliment a tight jean jacket?

But don't these kids look a little young for these clothes that don't even look good on their parents? Please tell me this is a rumor.

(Photo: Perez Hilton)

Sesame Street Video: Movie edition

2008-05-12T20:00:00Z

It all began with Gwynne's fantastic article The Babble List: The 50 Best Sesame Street Moments, which inspired me to hit YouTube to find more classic Sesame clips.

First we had skits based on theater. Now, here are some equally brilliant movie parodies.

Sesame Street - Monsterpiece Theater: The Sound of Music

Notable for Cookie's unlit pipe, which was nixed after parents got upset.

Monsterpiece Theater - The 39 Stairs

Hitchcock, schmitchcock. I'll take Grover any day.

Monsterpiece Theatre - 12 Angry Men

Twelve men. All angry. Take it, Cookie.

Monsterpiece Theater - The 400 Blows

Not even Truffaut is safe.

Monsterpiece Theater - Gone With The Wind

Monsterpiece Theater: 1 Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Monsterpiece Theater: Chariots of Fur

Breaking News: Earthquake in China kills thousands, 900 children buried at a school

2008-05-12T19:15:00Z

CNN is reporting that close to 9,000 people have been killed by a 7.9 scale earthquake in China. One area, Beichuan County, has had 80 percent of its buildings destroyed.

To make it even worse, if that's possible, is that 50 bodies have been pulled from the rubble of a high school in Central China. 900 children were buried by the quake at that particular spot so the death toll is likely to rise.

President Bush released a statement expressing sympathy for the Chinese people, adding, "I am particularly saddened by the number of students and children affected by this tragedy."

The quake was so strong, it could be felt in Thailand, Taiwan, Vietnam and Pakistan.

CNN has a lot of coverage, including eyewitness accounts (sample: "The floor was moving underneath me") and video.

Truly horrible.

image: CNN.com

Family Class Travel? Sign. Me. Up.

2008-05-12T19:01:00Z

Would you pay extra to fly with other families on an airplane? There's first class, business, coach and now, hopefully, family class?

I just heard about it for the first time from Yahoo! Shine's ultra-~~hot~~ knowledgable editor, Charlene Prince Birkeland, who was on TV discussing some great summer travel tips for families.

The family section idea sounds like a cry room at church but still, at least the kids can all cry together and the parents probably wouldn't find travel so stressful -- because they know the only people their kid will annoy is the family with a kid right next door. I'm all for that. (Also, if your kid happens to be the quiet, polite rock star of the family travel section, you could totally look down your nose at the other parents. Then again ...)

Three kids that play guitar way better than you

2008-05-12T18:00:00Z

Well, unless you're Slash or something. They definitely play better than me.

Not only that, they have pretty solid taste in music. The Beatles, Ozzy Osbourne, Santana -- no Miley or Jonas Brothers for these guys.

Flipping through YouTube, there appear to be dozens of kids who play incredibly well. Screw Guitar Hero, this is the real thing.

First up: this guy does an amplified acoustic rendition of "Come Together". It would be impressive enough if he just nailed the basic riff. But he plays the lead guitar part, the bass line, and even taps out the drum beat on the side of the guitar. Sheesh.

Here's the original, for comparison purposes.

This kid, Yuto Miyazawa, is even better. First, he looks younger. Second, his guitar is bigger than he is. Third, he sings as well as plays. Last -- but certainly not least -- the song is Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train." Ohhhh yes. Later in the clip he does "Crossroads," echoing Clapton's guitar solo perfectly. Then he closes with "Smoky Char", a tune I'm not familiar with but he seems to play it pretty damn well. Each is with a different band, and each time he's the frontman -- er, frontkid.

Back to acoustic for Lucciano Pizzichini, a 7 year old who treats us to a little Carlos Santana. Despite having major guitar chops, he's still a kid -- check out the Spongebob sticker on his axe.

image: youtube.com

Hybrid Cars Will Kill Your Kids

2008-05-12T17:16:00Z

Now I don't want to to give any global warming deniers out there fuel for the fire, but it turns out there is a downside to hybrid cars: they are dangerous to children.

What insidious reason is there for children to fear the Toyota Prius?...

They are silent.

Eight-year-old Owen Erickson discovered this first hand while riding his bike, one of the ubiquitous Priuses “sneaked” up on him, and the boy ended up on the hood. Luckily he was not hurt, but Owen's mother blamed the accident on the car's quiet running engine.

This isn't the first time there has been complaints against the noiseless hybrids. In my mind, the greater chance of danger goes to cats and dogs who often love to nestle under cars until that engine turns over and sends them running.

It's an easily solved problem, though. Just equip every new Prius with a bass-heavy sound system and a Cyprus Hill cd. Or you could just install an air horn that never shuts off. Wouldn't that be fun?

Should TomKat Still Be Giving Suri a Bottle?

2008-05-12T16:32:00Z

The gossip magazines provide plenty of reasons to question TomKat's parenting skills. But is it fair to go after Mr. Cruise and Ms. Holmes for continuing to give their two-year-old daughter, Suri, a bottle?

The adorable little girl has frequently been photographed hitting the town with Mommy and Daddy while toting around a babby bottle, even though she turned two last month. (No one has inquired yet as to whether she still uses a bottle all jacked up with BPA. An investigation into this crucial issue will undoubtedly be launched by Us Weekly.)

Most parents start the process of weaning the kid off the 'ol faux nipple sometime shortly after baby's first birthday. One orthodontist even tells the New York Daily News that feeding Suri milk or juice via a bottle at this age could be damaging her teeth, the last thing the Good Lord would want for the daughter of Capt. Smiley. So why hasn't the Cruise family kicked her of the habit?

It's unclear, although they were spotted over the weekend watching David Beckham play soccer, and Suri was notably bottle-less at the time. Still, here is the bigger question: Do we, the public at large, have a right to judge Tom and Katie for their bottle-serving habits? Does it make them bad parents?

It might, but I have to err on the side of we don't have a right to make the call, if only because it seems harshly judgmental to criticize their parenting skills when we are basing our information largely on photos and stories in not-always-reputable media outlets. Still, it definitely doesn't look good for Suri to have that bottle in her hand. And if Tom Cruise wants to continue bolstering his image as the Ultimate Movie Star Dad, then he would be smart to at least start slipping her a sippy cup.

It may be true that they are fostering a bad habit, which is clearly not wise. But they're not endangering her life by, say, driving around with her in their laps or something. Only someone with serious problems would do that.

Photo: Famecrawler

3-year-old boy has never slept

2008-05-12T16:00:00Z

I don't know what to make of this story. I do know that I'm unlikely to ever complain about Thing 2 waking up in the middle of the night.

A little boy in St. Petersburg, Florida hasn't slept in 3 years. Not "oh, he woke up last night at midnight." No sleep. At all. For 3 years.

And… he's 3 years old. So he's never slept a wink in his entire life. No naps, nothing. Mom and dad sleep in shifts, since someone has to be with him all the time.

His parents have been to numerous doctors and gotten a variety of answers. The current theory is that the boy suffers from a rare condition known as chiari malformation (source). Their best hope seems to be surgery that has a 50% chance of being effective.

I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical when I first read this. He doesn't even look tired! But it appears this sort of thing has happened before. Here's a story about a Vietnamese man who hasn't slept in 33 years and is healthy. Me, I'm tired when I get less than 8 hours. Since that almost never happens, I'm tired, like, all the time. I feel like a big wimp.

Anyway, I hope the surgery does the job. Poor kid.

image: Local6 News

Playdate Outcast or Just Rude Freaking Mammas?

2008-05-12T15:29:00Z

A friend had something weird happen to him at the park the other day, and I was curious to see if this was par for the course mom-friend behavior or whether this was, say, a little rude.

Basically, he befriended a mom at a nearby park and after a few days was invited to join in an impromptu picnic, and then, at said lunch, the moms started planning a beach trip. My friend, who by then had thought he was one of the group, grew excited until he realized they were planning on going without him.

"I suppose it doesn’t occur to them that I am sitting right there, another at-home parent in the market for daytime activities. But remember the old rule not to invite people to something in the presence of people who aren’t invited? Well, they didn’t."

Tacky, rude or peachy keen?

Scientology Parenting: Are Tom and Katie Feeding Suri Poison?

2008-05-12T15:04:00Z

The good folks at Defamer have paid much attention to how many bottles famous Scientology mothers are giving their kids. Leah Remini has confessed to still bottle feeding her three-year-old and Suri here looks like she has no intention of stopping the “ba-ba.” Critics have called a lot of supposedly regular parenting practices of Scientology into question (“silent birth” anyone?). Now there is speculation as to what is in that bottle two-year-old Suri clutches so dearly. And that magic liquid might be toxic to kids… If you read into Scientology practices, and Defamer has, you’ll find Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard advocated feeding babies and children a homemade formula comprised of barley water, homogenized milk, and oodles of sugar-heavy honey. Funny thing is, honey can be toxic to young children. Furthermore, other Scientology moms and dads say Hubbard’s formula made their children thin, colicky and destroyed their teeth. Here’s the best part: Hubbard claims he discovered this formula when he time traveled back to ancient Rome. Well you know what they say: when in Rome…go bat-shit crazy.

Photo: defamer

Republicans Hate Mothers, Apple Pie

2008-05-12T14:29:00Z

You'd think if you were trying to tie up Congress with shenanigans -- something both parties are great at -- you'd at least have the common sense to take a time out when a simple vote honoring moms comes to the floor.

I mean, I get it if you want to dick around with mortgage legislation or the war -- you know, things that don't really mean anything -- but moms? Ladies and Gentlemen -- just how stupid are you?

Plenty, apparently.

According to this story by the always-awesome Dana Milbank of the Washington Post, House Republicans first voted unanimously in favor of a resolution "Celebrating the role of mothers in the United States and supporting the goals and ideals of Mother's Day." Then they wanted to reconsider. In the end, 178 Republicans voted against it. Just to mess around.

They should be fired. I mean it. This is a small potatoes resolution (hi mom!) that no one really cares about and they probably shouldn't be wasting their time on anyway. Moms! We love them! Well who doesn't? That's like voting on a resolution "for the children." Come. On!

It's bad enough to waste time on an initial vote, but then to dicker around with another one just to delay and stall and be an ass is outrageous when the economy is in the tank and our kids are involved in two wars. Ladies, gentleman, get to work. That's how to really honor mom.

Babble Talk: The Worst Food to Feed Your Kids

2008-05-12T14:03:00Z

Amy Kalafa and Dr. Susan Rubin recently spoke to Babble about their documentary, Two Angry Moms, in which the pair investigate cafeteria junkfood. Some of the offending school lunch offerings the two mentioned by name: Blue slushies, candy and the balanced meal of chicken nuggets and tater tots. Not exactly the nutritionally sound stuff we would hope our kids get every day. All of which got me to thinking about the food we serve our children at home: Do we do better than some of the schools Kalafa and Rubin describe?

Generally speaking, we probably do but my guess is that many of us also could try harder. Lots of Americans, and I count myself in this group, can be a little lax in the diet department, especially when our schedules are particularly hectic. Sometimes the fastest things to prepare -- which might be some frozen nuggets or, worse yet, nuggets of the McDonald's variety -- are all we can muster.

My son is still young enough (and toothless enough) to avoid the really hardcore stuff, like Rock Candy and licorice. But I will admit to giving him some bites of burgers and fries. So confession time: What's the worst meal you have ever served your kids? Don't worry, none of us will report you to Child Protective Services. Besides, telling the truth makes wonderful therapy ... as do delicious, sugary slushies.

I Have Seen The Future, And It Is . . . Cell Phones On Planes

2008-05-12T13:25:00Z

I'm one of those super-neurotic passengers who checks to make sure my cell phone is off at least fifteen times before take-off, lest it "interfere with navigational equipment," as the flight attendants always say - a warning I always interpret as, "crash the plane."

But I guess cell phones don't interfere too much, as Air France is already testing cell phone service on flights, and the European Union is expected to allow cell phones on flights through EU air space as early as this summer.

Here in the U.S., however, things aren't moving along so briskly. The Federal Aviation Administration and the Federal Communication Commission have maintained the current ban on cell phones, citing security reasons - although internet services will soon be available on many U.S. carriers. And some members of Congress are trying to pass a law that will permanently prohibit cell phones on airplanes. Members of the Committee on Transportation Infrastructure are proposing what they call the HANG UP Act - "Halting Airplane Noise To Give Us Peace."

But experts predict that a few Luddite Congressmen won't be able to hold back progress for long. Rich Ling, author of "New Tech, New Ties: How Mobil Communication Is Reshaping Social Cohesion," argues, "We really can't say, 'No telephones.' People's desire to use the phone on the plane is not going to go away."

I have to say, I for one would be happy if cell phones were forever banned from airplanes. And a 2005 study found that over sixty percent of consumers agree with me. After all, flying is one of the only times I can actually relax with a book, without my kids, or my computer, or my phone demanding my attention. Who wants to spend two or five or ten hours listening to the person next to her yap on his cell phone?

DIY -- Make Dumb Toys Cool Again

2008-05-12T13:06:00Z

I'm a Design Sponge zealot, and so I was incredibly pleased to see a recent DIY rocking horse. Great wooden rockers. Incredible fabric. It was a rocking horse fit for a living room, not a toy room. But I was downright amazed to see what the original incarnation looked like.

It was just your average, run-of-the-mill snail rocking horse. I'd see those fluffy little things before, but hadn't thought twice about them. But now? Now I want one just to tear it apart.

Click here for an awesome guide to remaking an awesome toy. Maybe for yourself.

(Photo: Design Sponge.)

Playground Sexism: Back in the Kitchen, Girls

2008-05-12T12:28:00Z

Every time I go clothes shopping for my daughter, I want to grab a sales clerk by the neck and squeeze. It's not their fault, I realize, but I still want some answers. Why, I want to ask. Why do you insist on stocking your shelves with tight-legged jeans and open-toes shoes for girls while boys get to select from huge, roomy dungarees meant for climbing and swinging and playing?

It's not the embroidered mockeries that really get me -- the rainbows and butterflies and lollipops or whatever. It's the actual design -- fabric stitched together so tight that it makes playing almost impossible.

It's a quiet, playground sexism, one that starts at an ungodly early age. Even as toddlers -- a time when all kids should be falling off the jungle gym or learning the thrill of jumping off a swing -- boys are meant to do; to climb, to jump, to leap, to get dirty and rip the hell out of their clothes. Girls are meant to stand there, twirl their hair and watch.

It is driving me mad.

But look at the design of these clothes. Sandals for girls are almost invariably open-toed (and some even have mini high heels -- wtf Target ?), and I've seen my daughter scrape the tops of her feet at the playground. It's not a huge injury, sure, but if she were wearing boys sandals, it wouldn't have happened. (She does now, thank you very much, because boys sandals are close-toed and meant for, you know, playing.)

Now as for the decorative appearance of clothes ... it's irksome. It's annoying. But I can live with it. Boys get jungle creatures and fire trucks. Girls get butterflies and hearts. Sure. Although it does make me wonder: Do toddler girls not appreciate the zoo? Would they not like to wear a fucking hippo from time to time? Or would that just make them look fat?

But that's not what gets me. Jeans. Jeans piss me off. At Old Navy recently, I found nothing by tight-legged, "slim" jeans for girls. Rack after rack of tight, slimming jeans. For girls as young as 6 months. Fine. Let an infant wear them. They don't do much anyway, and if you want to dress your baby as a club slut or one of those ridiculous urban yetis who goes around with tight jeans tucked into Uggs, more power to you. But toddlers -- yes, even toddler girls -- they need room to move. I actually bought a pair just to try one out and sure enough, my daughter had an impossible time climbing a ladder to the monkey bars. If she had roomier boy jeans, this wouldn't have happened. So as it was, I told her just to stand there and watch the boys. Like a good girl.

Seriously, screw that.

My kid is a playground menace. If it goes up, she's going to climb it. If it resembles a slide, she'll sail down it. If it swings, you can bet she'll swing with it. If she grows up and wants to be a debutante, fan-freaking-tastic. I'll buy her a gown and learn to waltz. I don't have a problem with pink and can't wait until she can help me sew her dresses. But for now, the kid just likes to play, and play hard. And these Carrie Bradshaw-in-a-romper get-ups don't let her. Worse, they could injure her. When are we going to realize that young girls like to play just as much as young boys? When is this early, quiet sexism going to end?

A Very Special Father's Day Song ... From Jem

2008-05-12T11:57:00Z

That's right, Jem. Jem and the Holograms. Now that we're finally done with that wholly contrived "holiday" brougt to you by the makers of greeting cards and chocolate roses, it's time to move our attention to something truly important: dads.

And really, nothing says "I love you, dad" like a very special Father's Day tribute from the very favorite cartoon band of some completely anonymous father out there. Frankly, I'm not sure weekday afternoon TV gets any better than the montage of Jem and her sister growing up with dad only to one day find themselves without him. I think it's clear. He's always there in their hearts. Touching. Simply touching.

Enjoy. And remember, no ties. Anything but ties.

Strollerderby Playdate: My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy

2008-05-12T11:02:00Z

I'm not talking about mine, people. I might have been miserable occasionally, and a lesbian definitely, but I was never, not even once, lonely. I guess that's what having a three-year-old who thinks the words "Mama needs privacy" mean "Mama wants you to close the door behind you when you follow her into the bathroom for the grillonth time today." I would have paid money, real money, for a little hit of lonely.

And you all should pay money for this hilarious new book.

My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy is Andrea Askowitz's chronicle of her 40 week descent into the depths of pregnancy hell. At nearly 35 she wants a baby and she wants it bad. So bad that she is willing to go it alone. She's not really alone, of course. She's got her friends, who drive her crazy with the insenstive questions they ask and the ugly maternity clothes they choose for her. And she's got her family, who drive her even more crazy than her friends, especially her mother who wants to make a quilt for the baby depicting Persephone and her goddess mother, Demeter.

Askowitz isn't afraid to write about sex and love affairs, about break-ups and heartache, about fears of motherhood and fears of being alone. And the best part of all is that she is so damn funny.

Go out and buy your favorite pregnant lesbian a copy of this book. And while you're at at, get one for yourself.

Not What Julia Ward Howe Had in Mind

2008-05-12T00:00:00Z

Mother’s Day wasn't always about mani-pedis and jewelry: the holiday was originally conceived as a call against war. In the aftermath of the Civil War, social activist Julia Ward Howe issued the Mother’s Day Proclamation, hoping to begin an annual day of uniting mothers in the fight for peace. Howe’s Mother’s Day for Peace never got formally established—and our national maternal remembrance day instead became the most popular day of the year to dine out. I’m not really up for social commentary today (maybe it's all those mimosas I had at brunch), so without further ado, I present you Howe’s Mother’s Day Proclamation of 1870. This is a particularly good time to remember the rousing call Howe issued for women to act as peacemakers.

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe our dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

Image: Wikipedia

So. Was it Good for You?

2008-05-11T23:30:00Z

Mother's Day is nearly over. Thank God!! Partners and their baby mamas everywhere are breathing a collective sigh of relief, children are high on the sugar from the early morning pancakes, phone calls have been made (it's not too late!!).

So. How was yours?

After all the Mother's Day sniping and reconsideration, our house was harmonious today. Breakfast in bed, pretty earrings, and blue nail polish. Sweet cards and helpful husbands.

It may be cliche and predictable, humdrum, and bourgeois, but it was grand.

Six Word MOMoirs -- Memoirs For Mom

2008-05-11T16:00:00Z

Brett brought you Mom in One Word. Now you have six. If you are familiar with the six word memoirs from Smith Magazine (as complied in Not Quite What I was Planning) here is a mother's day bent. Smith is looking for six word memoirs for Mom this mother's day. Here are a few to get you started:

Naps became the most precious minutes.

Stretchmarks are the roadmap of life.

I really miss seeing my feet.

Could be poop, could be chocolate.

so love him when he's sleeping.

Every day is like groundhog day.

Alright, that should be enough to get you going. If you're a mom, write your six-word memoir below. If you know a mom, write a tribute. It only cost you six words.

Describe mom in one (or three) words

2008-05-11T13:00:00Z

CNN has this piece asking people to describe Mom in one word. "Courageous," "everlasting," and "nuts" are some of the results. ("Nuts"?)

I think one word is too limiting. So let's try three. I'll start:

Brave, invaluable, great.

Your turn. (And be sure to check out Cole's Six Word MOMoirs -- Memoirs For Mom.)

image: CNN.com, me

Does your mom really love you?

Video: Happy Mother's Day From Barats and Bereta

5 Mother's Day Do's and Don'ts

Help me pick a Mother's Day gift (please)

Help me pick a Mother's Day gift (still)

Mother's Day Reconsidered

Honey, Why Don't You Ever Write?

Mom Of 17 Celebrates Mother's Day With Big Announcement

2008-05-11T12:04:00Z

Imagine celebrating Mother's Day as the mother of 17 kids.

That's A LOT of macrame pot holders!

But Michelle Duggar, 41, must be jonesing for more. Because the Arkansas woman recently announced that she's pregnant with her eighteenth child.

The baby, due on New Year's Day, will join seven sisters and ten brothers (including two sets of twins) - all of whom have names beginning with the letter J.

(One of the most unbelievable parts of this story to me is that this family has 17 J names and not one of the kids is named Jonah, my first-born's name! I guess I can hold out hope they'll make the right choice this time around.)

Oh, and as if this story couldn't get any more insane - all the kids are homeschooled. Because Michelle just has so much time on her hands.

When I hear about these extraordinarily large families, I always wonder: is it fun? Will the kids grow up to have large families of their own, because they had such a blast, or will they have one child only, because all they ever wanted when they were young was a little freakin' individual attention?

10-Year-Old Gives Birth in Idaho

2008-05-11T03:13:00Z

This is a story with so many tragic layers that there’s really nothing to report but the sad facts: An Idaho girl, just a child herself at 10-years-old, delivered a six-pound baby by C-section. The alleged father, 37-year-old Guadalupe Gutierrez-Juarez, has been charged with rape and is being held in county jail. The girl, who was 9-years-old when she became pregnant, may have had a medical condition that caused her to have an unusually early onset of puberty. Police only became aware of the situation after the girl went to a doctor's office for treatment the day before she gave birth. Very little information is being released about the young mother, who is in state custody along with her baby.

Reading a story like this, I have to remind myself of the almost miraculous resiliency of the human spirit. Both the 10-year-old and her baby are in good health, and it is not naive to hope that they will one day lead healthy, happy lives.

In another sad twist to the story, Gutierrez-Juarez is a suspected illegal immigrant, so that some Web commentators have seized on this tragedy to call for tougher immigration laws. Whatever one’s beliefs on legislating immigration, let’s hope that reason prevails in this case, and one horrific event is not used to make blanket characterizations about the millions of immigrants living peacefully in the U.S.

Photo: localnews8.com

Top 5 Mediocre TV Moms

2008-05-10T19:35:00Z

Sure, I could write about how The Cosby Show's Claire Huxtable inspires us moms to be a little sterner, purse our lips a little harder, raise five kids plus random step-grandkids without any outside help and with much less complaining. But I don't want to. My mothering bar is set lower, much, much lower. I prefer to take my parenting cues from more mediocre influences.

So today, the day before Mother's Day, I'd like to call out some of TV's most mediocre moms, the ones who -- thanks to cable TV, Netflix and syndication -- I can watch now as a mother myself and realize, "hey, I'm so much better than her!" And yes, Carmela Soprano is on the list.

5. Elyse Keaton, Family Ties: One son's a total conservative pill, another basically disappears, one daughter is uninteresting, the other pouty and troubled. All that and her husband's a weak and whiny dork. Meredith Baxter-Birney puts the M's in Mediocre Mothering.

4. Caroline Ingalls, Little House on the Prairie: Playing favorites isn't unusual, we know that. But did it have to be so blatant? Pa, you get Half-Pint, Ma, you get Mary. We'll just ignore Grace and that other little girl -- what WAS her name? Plus, remember that episode where Ma gets a fever and then reads in the Bible that she should cut off her leg? Damn, so much drama for a pioneer woman. A little more stoicism could give you a bump, Ma, but truthfully, you were mediocre at best. Welcome to the list.

3. All the mothers of those spunky teens on Facts of Life: No parenting strategy accumulates points for mediocrity like shipping your kids away from home "for education." I mean, is boarding school even legal?! And don't give me that "Jo was an orphan" crap. Natalie needed love, people, love.

2. Carmela Soprano. It goes without saying why she's on the list.

1. Peggy Bundy, Married with Children: Actually, Peg toes the line between mediocre and downright bad. But I'm giving her points for honesty and the fact that she didn't physically abuse her slutty daughter and wise-ass son. Sure, she takes benign neglect -- the biggest tool in a mediocre mom's shed -- to an extreme. But she still managed to fix her hair and put on fresh leggings every morning. Can we all not find inspiration in that?

Go here for a round-up of the TVs Top 20 All-Time Mothers. But, again, Shirley Partridge does nothing -- NOTHING -- for me, I don't care how hard she rocks the mini-keyboard.

Who did I miss? Which TV mom's gave less than fabulous mothering performances?

Photo: starpulse.com

Honey, Why Don't You Ever Write?

2008-05-10T18:23:00Z

One of the best things about becoming a mom is that you get to mess with your kids in many of the same ways your mom messed with you. It's often unintentional of course, but when I'm singing along with the radio in the car and my kid begs me to stop, I know I've entered that special club. Someday my driving, the way I talk to waitstaff, and my bitter complaints about the price of things nowadays will all fill my child with the exasperation only a kid can feel towards their mother.

Now I have one more thing to add to the list: I can't wait to send her e-mail. And I'm totally in love with Postcards From Yo Mama, a site where readers can submit the choicest correspondence from their mothers. Right away the one about Jessica Simpson's salad caught my eye, perhaps because the line "I think it would be kinda fun to make my own croutons. What do u think?" slayed me. Here's to the day when I make the site. Happy Mother's Day, xoxoxo darling, I luv you.

Triplets Born to Family Who Lost Three Children a Year Ago

2008-05-10T16:04:00Z

If you believe the universe is balanced, that tragedy and good fortune come in equal measure, here is news that will buoy you. Lori and Chris Coble welcomed a set of triplets into the world last Wednesday, almost a year to the day after their three children where taken in an automotive accident…

The newborns Ashley, Ellie and Jake, were delivered by c-section at the Children’s Hospital of Orange County and all, including mom Michelle, are doing well.

I do not know what it would be like to have more kids after losing a child. It’s a kind of moving on that I know is healthy, but hard for me to imagine. If I were put in the situation however, I could see myself feeling very different over time.

Photo: CBS

What She's Afraid to tell You She Really Wants for Mother's Day

2008-05-10T14:02:00Z

If you have a sense of humor and all little children are safely out of the room, check out this video... It's just like the Roomba, but far more personal:\

Woomba [Hat tip: Babble Reader Logical Mama]

Five-Year-Old Boy Kills Four-Year-Old Sister

2008-05-10T12:32:00Z

It's a tragedy whenever a child gets his hands on a gun and it accidentally goes off. But how to handle a case in which a five-year-old boy deliberately retrieves his father's gun from the top of a bookcase after having a "confrontation" with his younger sister, Makayla, then goes and shoots her at close range?

A prosecutor in Marion County, Indiana, decided to file charges . . . against the boy's father.

James Booher was charged with three felony counts of child neglect, one of which carries a sentence of 20-50 years in prison. He was arrested at the close of his daughter's funeral.

The prosecutor, Carl Brizzi, argued that Booher was responsible because he knew his son was capable of firing the gun, as he had done so less than a year ago, when he fished his father's gun from the top of the refrigerator and shot a hole in a kitchen cabinet.

Booher claimed in his defense that he thought the gun wasn't loaded, since the magazine had been pulled. Police found that a bullet had remained in the gun even after the magazine was removed.

Other weapons were readily available in the house, Brizzi said, including Chinese throwing stars and samurai swords. He called the home "a dangerous environment."

The boy and his older sister were placed in foster care.