Officer, I feel your pain. It's nothing if not criminal battery to
have someone smear snot on your shirt. (Incidentally, a Huggies wipe
will clean it off in a snap.)
A South Carolina police officer
responded to complaints of a woman, behaving quite like some children I
know. She was found biting a man at his elbow, and then spit in his
face when she was pulled away.
Then the truly egregious act:
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