Earlier I showed you some ways you could go terribly, horribly wrong in the jewelry department for Mother's Day. But of course, things can only get worse. Here's jewelry that borders on punishment. Drum roll...
The "Grew in My Heart" Charm. Aaaaargh!
Where to start? Well, first of all, I'm pretty sure my baby grew in my uterus, not my heart. I mean, they are both body parts, but still, anatomically incorrect.
Second, this baby is creepy. It has a scary gold face. Its legs look like tentacles. And the heart looks too fat.
Third, this little beauty is advertised as "The perfect push prize for new mothers". I hate that term. As I have said before, the only push prize I ever wanted was a brand new hoo hoo. But now that I'm thinking about it, the heart just looks about as stretched out and misshapen as certain important body parts did following all that pushing.
As a side note, I am equally creeped out by the "baby's headband to bridal garter" gift advertised on the same site. Thank god I didn't get one of these at my shower. "Oh honey, just think, this headband fits around her head now, but someday her husband will lift up her skirt, pull it off her thigh, and throw it at his drunk friends!" Can you believe it is out of stock?
Have fun shopping.
